


The Spicer Monologues

by CrystallicSky



Series: Diary Project [1]
Category: Static Shock, Xiaolin Showdown (Cartoon)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-01
Updated: 2011-06-04
Packaged: 2017-10-19 23:44:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 349
Words: 186,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystallicSky/pseuds/CrystallicSky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack's just got himself a new journal, and he fully intends to make use of it this year...</p>
<p>Acknowledgements: I acknowledge Silvarbelle for writing this gigantic story with me and playing Chase Young in the companion to this, 'Immortal – And Still Not Enough Time.'</p>
<p>Disclaimer: I don't own Xiaolin Showdown or any of its characters/plots. It is the property of its creator, Christy Hui, and attendant television networks. I make no money from the writing of this fiction, nor do I attempt to.</p>
<p>BETTER WHEN READ TOGETHER.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1/1/09

**1/1/09-**

****Happy fucking New Year! I could care less that I’m in China and today has no significance: January 1st=New Year as far as I’m concerned.

So, I guess the obligatory ‘journal introduction’ is supposed to go here, right? Okay, well, I’m Jack Spicer, Evil Boy Genius. Of course, _I’m_ perfectly aware of that fact, but if anyone ever reads this, they might not be privy to such. Then again, I’m not really sure who’d be reading this. Huh.

Anywho, my mom got me this journal as a New Year’s present. Don’t get excited or anything, she didn’t _actually_ give it to me: she passed it off to one of my bots to give it to me. Thanks mom, I feel the love. </sarcasm>

But you know, seeing as no one’s home (but what else is new?) and I’m bored as hell, I figured maybe writing in this thing might be a way to kill a couple of minutes. The upside to nobody being here is _definitely_ that there’s nobody to mock me about having a diary.

Yeah, right: diaries are for girls; this is a journal, thank you very much, or as I call it, a primitive blog.

So what’s going on right now? Not much of anything, really. I’m just sort of sitting here watching TV (there’s nothing good on, hence why I’m doing this instead), drinking some cider and thinking about the fact that it's 2009 already. The cider’s pretty kick-ass, I’ll have to remember to ask that lady who does the shopping where she bought it.

In any case, I’m not too thrilled about making it through another year.

My evil career’s not doing so great lately, and…I don’t know. I mean, it just really, really, _really_ sucks balls that I have the coordination of a Weeble. You know, Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down? Except that I _do_ fall down. Frequently.

If I had some semblance of equilibrium, I might actually be able to _compete_ with the Xiaolin losers, because I _know_ all of their moves. I know the names of them, the styles they stem from, the period of time they were created in, all the physics of it; hell, most of the time, I know what one of them is going to do before they even do it!

The problem is the rest of me: my body just won’t respond quick enough or well enough to what I’m telling it. Like, I’ll know Pedrosa’s going to punch me in the head thirty seconds before he does, and my brain goes, “Oh crap, fist coming at your face in a matter of seconds: commence evasive action!” And then it’s either that there’s a delayed connection between my brain and my body or that my body heard it loud and clear but there’s only one way to avoid the knuckle-sandwich and I can’t _possibly_ bend that way without tearing a couple muscles.

I don’t know, it just totally sucks.

I mean, how the hell am I gonna rule the world if I keep fucking up because of that kind of thing? Not to _mention_ what it does to my (rapidly-declining) reputation. I can’t even begin to imagine how much of a failure I must look like to Chase. I swear, if I just had _half_ that guy’s awesome, I might actually be able to make something of myself, but as it stands…

Well, he hates me, let’s leave it at that.

Maybe I need a break from this whole thing? Just a week or two to relax and clear my head, then come back refreshed and ready with new ideas. Yeah, I’ll probabl


	2. 1/2/09

**1/2/09-**

 ****So. Again with this journal.

My…last entry cut off kinda suddenly, but that was because a Jackbot blew a gasket and started breaking shit for no reason. Luckily, I managed to shut it down and fix it before it got to mom’s prized vase. She’d have had a conniption fit if she came home to see that thing shattered. Sometimes I think she loves it more than me, but then I stop thinking that because it’s a silly thing to think.

Of _course_ she loves it more than me.

But anyways, I’ve decided officially that I’m taking a little downtime from Wu hunting. I _definitely_ need a break, because it’s been killing my creativity. You know I haven’t been able to come up with a machine I’ve never built a similar one of before in a month? That’s amazingly, totally, and incredibly wrong, so I just need to take a step back from my work for a while until I can get back on track.

I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do over my self-imposed break, but today for sure, I’m just going to hang around the house. Still nothing on TV, but the internet always has something interesting on it, so I’ll do that for awhile; maybe surf Adult Swim for Superjail! episodes I missed.

By the way, Superjail! is an acid trip for the sober, seriously. The Warden is so fabulously ridiculous and gay: his very first onscreen appearance is him riding a green, winged, screeching centaur while he fondles its chest. Of course, his second is even gayer, when he bursts into his office on a rainbow.

He’s pretty cute; the Warden, I mean. It’s probably the gap-tooth, it’s adorable. If he weren’t so pretentious, I’d probably do him. You know, less pretentious and _real_.

I’m _way_ off topic, aren’t I?

Back to pertinent matters: I’m officially on vacation, I’ve got a pudding cup and about five episodes of Superjail! to enjoy, and fuck everything until further notice.


	3. 1/3/09

**1/3/09-**

 ****Yesterday was fun; spent most of it in between saying ‘WTF’ and sleeping for hours on end, but fun. It was pretty relaxing actually. The ‘WTF’ came from Superjail! obviously, because what else could you _possibly_ say when the Warden gives birth to a demon representative of his anger? But I digress.

So, I woke up this morning around five in the mother-fucking morning because wouldn’t you know it, some Wu or other went active and I completely forgot to turn off the earsplitting alarm that goes off whenever that happens, so I’ve been up for quite a while (involuntarily, I assure you).

Naturally, I didn’t go after the thing: I’m on break. It doesn’t really matter anyways, though. I wouldn’t have won it, and I’d have gotten my ass kicked to _not_ win it, so it’d be pointless to go; I probably wasn’t missed, either.

It’s pretty late right now because I almost forgot about this thing, but better late than never, right?

So, what’d I do today? After I was so rudely awakened, I made sure to deactivate that alarm so it wouldn’t keep happening over my vacation. That would suck some serious ass and not in the fun way.

After that, I had breakfast (blueberry waffles: _hell_ yes) and played some game called ‘Black Sigil: Blade of the Exiled.’ I didn’t pick it out for myself and it was a Christmas present from someone I can’t even remember how I’m related to, so I really had no idea what to expect, but it wasn’t that bad. It’s not exactly my type of game, but you know, it wasn’t bad; killed a couple hours beating it, at least.

After that I decided to actually leave the house, because the ‘5,000 channels and nothing to watch’ rule was still in effect. I decided to go to some random mall in America (I can make the trip a lot quicker than airlines, so why not stop over there from time to time?), maybe browse a couple of stores and whatnot.

I managed to score a Charlie the Unicorn hoodie at Hot Topic, which pretty much made my day. I wanted this really awesome finger-armor thing there, too, but wouldn’t you know it was too big for me? I’ve been cursed/blessed with slender fingers: good for fiddling with wires, bad for wearing rings and finger jewelry.

Oh! No, you know what really pissed me off today at the mall? They’re closing the fucking Borders! That’s the second mall in America in the past five months that’s gotten rid of a Borders: what the fuck? That’s bullshit! READING IS IMPORTANT. You can’t just get rid of all the damn bookstores and replace them with stores that sell pictures of Jesus (about which I am not kidding; I saw it happen to the first assassinated Borders).

Either way, because it was closing, everything was 40% off, so I took advantage of the tragedy and bought some stuff while it was cheap. I picked up a George Carlin book (God rest his soul) and a couple of cheesy yaoi mangas. They’re _so_ amazingly cheesy, but from time to time, I just need to indulge in the overwhelming cheddar.

Seriously, though, nothing in these things would _ever_ happen in real life: you can’t blush and squeal at a guy like an idiot and then have him be either completely oblivious to it or think it’s somehow endearing or flattering and then decide he wants to kiss you.

If it was that easy in real life, I could tell you who I’d have been fucking all day and at this very moment instead of writing this in here, and it would be _mind-blowing_.

Reality check: mind-blowing dream-sex not taking place. Fairy-tale romance doesn’t happen.

But this is dragging on way too long and my hand’s getting tired, not to mention I’m way off-track again.

I’m probably going to go to bed, soon. Not sure what I’m going to do tomorrow, but I’ve decided my break is lasting _at least_ a week, so I’ll have to figure _something_ out sooner or later.


	4. 1/4/09

**1/4/09-**

 ****So, my anger is pretty much palpable at this point.

Mom is demanding (not in person, obviously; she’s been texting me for the past twenty minutes) that I go to this posh party thing her current fling is having, and I am, naturally, expected to wear a suit and be friendly to others.

 _Screw_.

So this means tomorrow night is a complete bust. It’s not like I had specific plans, but _still_. Doesn’t ‘vacation’ mean relaxing and not doing unfun shit, or was the definition changed?

But, fuck it, there’s nothing I can do about it anyway since mom knows how to hit me where it hurts: my wallet. If I don’t go, she cuts off my funding and no funding means no bots, so my hands are pretty much tied.

Oh, but speaking of bots, I got a _really_ good idea for one today, meaning the break is working as far as unkilling my creativity. I haven’t decided on a name for it yet, but basically, it’ll be able to change itself into any manner of matter imaginable (don’t worry, I’ve figured out all the science already) once it’s built.

I say ‘once it’s built’ because I’m serious about no evil over my vacation, and I can get to it later now that I’ve sketched out some quick schematics and written down some design notes so I don’t forget what I was going to do.

Also, in case you’re unaware, Jim Croce is win. I don’t care how old the song is, Operator has officially wormed its way into my head and I’m pleased to say it’s not leaving any time soon.

Well, I might as well go pick out a tie for tomorrow and then spend the rest of the night dreading having to waltz with a bunch of old, snobby bitches who think I’m ‘such an exotic oddity and oh-ho-ho, won’t you spare another dance, young man?’

FUCK MY LIFE.


	5. 1/5/09

**1/5/09-**

 ****Oh. My. God.

I’m _shocked_ I’ve haven’t attempted suicide yet. That was a _nightmare_.

So, gala is over, thank Vin Diesel Jesus, and I think I can honestly say it was some really deep level of Hell. My feet are _killing_ me from those dress shoes and the damn dancing, my hands are clammy by transition of all the clammy old-lady hands that were groping at them, and I’ve officially set fire to my tie and watched it burn to ashes.

 _The_ most horrifying thing happened to me tonight, by the way: someone tried to _buy me_.

Yeah, that’s right, _buy me_ , like a painting or a sculpture or something! I don’t think I’d ever been more horrified than when that guy grabbed me by the face and asked my mom ‘How much?’

Although I _might’ve_ been more horrified when she actually looked like she was considering it.

Then again, the guy wasn’t at all bad-looking. He was pretty hot, I guess, but…you know, not my thing.

Blue eyes, blond hair, typical, arrogant rich-guy attitude: he’s kinda the complete _opposite_ of my thing, actually, considering my thing is golden eyes, dark hair, and a made-of-awesome attitude.

Damn, I’ve got it bad, huh?

Ah well, fuck it, there’s more important things to think about than the impossible, namely how strangely coincidental this information I’m checking right now seems to be.

Apparently, according to my Wu alarm’s history, I’ve missed six Showdowns today alone, which seems really weird to me: the second I decide to chill for awhile, a bajillion Shen Gong Wu decide that they should say ‘hi’ to the world.

Somebody’s conspiring against me; probably the universe.

In any case, I’ve escaped from Hell, I’m home and out of that devil-suit, and I think I kinda need comatose-inducing amounts of junk food, after which I intend to fall into such a coma.


	6. 1/6/09

**1/6/09-**

 ****So…today was…weird. Supremely so.

Dad came home.

I know, I was shocked, too; for a minute, I didn’t recognize him and I almost asked, “Who the hell are you and how did you get into my house?”

But I guess he recognized me, because he hugged me and actually called me by my name (mom usually gets confused and calls me Jacob of Jeffery or something like that), and then he told me that he was going to have to leave on another big expedition tomorrow so in the meantime, he wanted to do something with me.

He took me to the beach for some god-awful reason ( _still_ have sand in places it’s impolite to talk about in public), but he remembered my little condition and brought along loads of powerful sunscreen and for once, I was out in the sun and I’m not lobster-red all over, just a little pink on the nose and cheeks.

But anyways, we did some father-son bonding kind of stuff: he used me to pick up chicks, showed _me_ how to pick up chicks (not at all interested in females, but still, the gesture was appreciated), that kind of thing. It was a little awkward though.

I think that was because the whole time, he was acting like he’d been there my whole life and knew me so well he could answer all 850 security questions I have in place on my lab in case the fingerprint scanner and retina recognition module ever break down, but to me, he was kinda like a complete stranger. A nice stranger, don’t get me wrong, but a stranger all the same.

Maybe that’s why I’m screwed up: an awesome once-in-a-blue-moon-dad and an airhead sometimes-mom. I don’t even think I can remember who took care of me when I was a baby; it can’t have been them, so it was probably a maid, but I know that by the time I was potty-trained and everything afterwards, I’ve had to fend for myself.

And people wonder why I built a bunch of robots to do my bidding and where my trust issues come from. Fuck therapy: a journal can help you figure out your own problems for hundreds of dollars less!

So anyways, Dad’s still here; it's getting dark out and he’s talking about going outside and playing one-on-one volleyball but, ‘don’t worry, he’s got mosquito repellent.’

I really don’t want to do it, but it’ll keep him from bitching about it for another two hours and I guess it’ll make him happy to pretend to be a good dad, so I might as well play along. Besides, he’ll be gone by morning, and then normalcy will be restored.

Thank _god_.


	7. 1/7/09

**1/7/09-**

 ****Alright, Dad’s gone, I’ve got the house to myself again, and I’ve decided it’s definitely the last day of my vacation. I’m totally ready to go back and kick some Xiaolin ass tomorrow, and I got this _awesome_ idea of what to do with that matter-shifting thing I came up with a couple of days ago.

I don’t want to spoil it until I can describe in detail my super-special-awesome victory with it, but rest assured, it is _amazingly_ genius. I think I’ve actually outdone myself on this one.

But enough about that!

I’m actually kind of glad my break is winding down; never thought I’d feel that way, but there it is. I think staying away from the Wu hunt is relaxing, but if I do it too long, I start to get antsy and think about all the things I’m missing (besides the ass-kickings of course). I mean, what if Cheeseball made a gender-insensitive faux pas and accidentally groped Kim’s boobs (what ones she has, anyway) or something and I missed it? I’d want to see that. I think I’d laugh my ass off for three days straight if that happened.

I guess I’m glad to be going back to it all, though. It’s sad, but I think the Xiaolin losers might be the closest thing I have to *wince* _friends_.

At least they never want to hang out or anything. That’d be _too_ weird.

Either way, I’m back in the game, and the next Wu that goes active? MINE.


	8. 1/8/09

**1/8/09-**

 ****Fuck yes! Guess what I just won?

That’s right, the Eye of Xūn! What now, losers?

Oh, man, I seriously kicked ass today; it was _awesome_. My matter-shifter worked perfectly! You should have seen the looks on the monks’ faces, it was _beautiful_.

Okay, back to the beginning: my Wu alarm, once more reactivated, went off around noon, and by then, I was ready to go, which I did. The Wu was somewhere in some rainforest (I can’t be bothered to remember all the names of all the rainforests, thank you very much) and unfortunately, the monks got there first.

However, I was there in time to get a hand on it and issue a challenge of a Showdown. The seriously awesome part, though, is that it was a five-way combat Showdown: all four of them vs. me. And I won. Yeah, I mean, _maybe_ it was a little arrogant to make that kind of a challenge, but I was confident that there was _no way_ I could lose, and I was right!

I owe my victory entirely to my matter-shifter (which, since I haven’t been able to come up with a better name, looks like its going to stick). Now that I can actually talk about my victory, I’m going to go ahead and spoil what my idea for it was: I used it on myself.

It worked _so_ perfectly, it’s not even funny. I set it up so that I could wear it as a bracelet and change the configuration of my body with just a thought; the two settings I used most often were rubber and diamond. Whenever one of the monks tried to hit me: diamond and, ow, my hand! Whenever the cowboy (because he was the only one who was strong enough to actually do it) tried to physically pick me up and hurl me against something in the hopes of, I don’t know, knocking me out or whatever: rubber and, hey that didn’t even hurt!

I waited until they were pretty much tired out from trying to kick my ass (not this time, bitches!) to actually go on the offensive and KO them. I swear to God, I bitch-slapped lover-boy (while I was made of diamond), and I’m almost positive I heard his jaw crack: _awesome_.

Best of all? I think Chase might’ve been watching when I handed the monks’ asses to them. I can’t be sure, but sometimes I just get this shivery feeling up and down my spine, and in past experience, almost immediately after I got it, Chase showed up out of nowhere. I was getting that feeling right before I left, so here’s hoping I made a good impression!

BUT. I won the Eye of Xūn, hands down. I’ll have to try more passive methods of competing in Showdowns like that more often; I might actually have a chance at winning once in awhile.

On the other hand, I’m not totally sure what this Wu does, yet. I’ll figure it out eventually. My immediate guess is that it’ll let you see how you or somebody else is going to die because it looks kinda like a kaleidoscope in the shape of an eye and ‘xūn’ means ‘twilight’, so the Eye of Twilight; maybe twilight is representative of ‘end’ because it’s the end of a day and maybe it’s some kind of metaphor for the end of a life.

I don’t know. I’ll do some snooping at in the temple’s records later to know for sure, but the point is that I am victorious! I guess that break was just what I needed.

For now, I’m going to go scrounge around in the kitchen for a victory-meal. I think there’s some banana bread on the counter, so I’ll probably go for that.

  
 **1/8/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****Aaaaannnnnddddd…ANGER.

So. My victory was completely negated when the monks paid me a visit fairly late tonight (guess which wall they smashed through? _Again_?).

They stole the Eye of Xūn (I was right, by the way: it _does_ let you see how people are going to die), smashed my matter-shifter to bits, and kicked my ass just for the hell of it.

Maybe I should be taking lessons from them: they’re evil as hell. They not only took something from me that I had won fair and square, they destroyed my personal property so that they could maintain their advantage in future Showdowns and then beat me up for no reason whatsoever other than that they don’t like me.

Yeah, those are some good Samaritans for you!

The only good thing about it is that it turns out I _did_ crack Raimundo’s jaw; he was wearing the kind of sling you’d see in old cartoons when somebody got a toothache. He looked pretty dumb, and that was the only highlight of the whole incident.

Well, I don’t really know what to do right now. I feel cheated. I guess I could do with a shower to maybe scald away the scent of failure that I’m sure is hovering around me like a cloud of smog, and then…I don’t know, I might read Zombie Haiku again; that usually cheers me up. If not, then I’ll probably just go back to bed.

Fuck.


	9. 1/9/09

**1/9/09-**

 ****Today was…horrible.

Way too many Shen Gong Wu. _Fifteen_ too many. Guess how many of those I won, by the way?

Zero.

God dammit.

I feel like total crap. It seemed like a Wu was going active every two hours since four in the morning until now (I don’t know what time it is, but I know it’s late), so I’ve been running all over the world today, on maybe three hours of sleep, and I’ve got nothing to show for it but a ton of bruises and sore spots.

I got that tingly feeling a bunch of times today, too, so guess who must have seen me fuck up spectacularly and repeatedly?

I think I’m just going to go cry somewhere until I either fall asleep or stop being ashamed of myself; whichever comes first.


	10. 1/10/09

**1/10/09-**

 ****Yesterday was depressing, but I can’t stay down in the dumps forever: nothing gets done that way unless you work at the dump.

So! Now I just need to turn my attention to something else, something productive so I can actually face the competition.

No more repeats of yesterday.

I could rebuild my matter-shifter; in fact, I probably will. Normally, my policy is ‘if you’ve done it already, don’t use it again,’ but the matter-shifter worked _really_ well, and besides that, there’s no way I’ll ever succeed if I build something _completely_ different every time the monks break my stuff: I’ll run out of ideas that way.

But I’m going to work on rebuilding the matter-shifter today, with a couple of improvements. I have to make it out of more durable material, for one thing, because I really don’t want to see it crushed to bits again: that hurt me inside way too much.

Another thing I’m probably going to do is start working on other things to convert my matter into. I said before it could do _any_ kind of matter, but really, it only does solid things. I wasn’t able to figure out how to do gases and liquids because the molecules of those are too far spread out. If I tried to turn into a non-solid form, like oxygen, I would completely dissipate and I wouldn’t be able to rearrange myself back into a solid form.

But I’m going to figure out how to fix that. There’s got to be a way to do it, too: nothing’s impossible, (at least not with all the things _I’ve_ seen).

Wait…would the Serpent’s Tail help? I might not need to keep it, but maybe I could run some tests on it, collect some data and whatnot. I mean, the Serpent’s Tail can make matter intangible and then reconfigure it into something solid again. If I could figure out how the Wu does it, I might be able to make my matter-shifter do the same thing!

If only I could remember who had…oh… Fuck.

Chase has the Serpent’s Tail.

Well, geez, that makes the whole thing impossible, now doesn’t it? I _might’ve_ had a shot at borrowing it if I’d actually succeeded at something lately, but now…Can you even imagine?

“Oh, hi, Chase! I know you just saw me get my ass kicked sideways about fifteen times yesterday, but I was wondering if you’d let me borrow one of your Shen Gong Wu? I promise I’ll take good care of it!”

Yeah, right. _Double_ -fuck.

Then again…what other choice do I have? I _need_ the Serpent’s Tail if I’m ever going to impress him again and besides that, I haven’t actually seen him in person for awhile. Even if he says no, it’s still a couple minutes of eye-candy before I get kicked out, and who knows? Maybe if I ask really nicely and promise I’ll give it back to him in a day or two, he’ll actually lend it to me!

…oh, who am I kidding? This is a fool’s errand.

Guess it’s fitting I do it, then. I really _don’t_ have much other choice if I ever want him to pay attention to me for doing something well instead of fucking it up stupendously, so…I guess into the lion’s den it is.

 _Triple_ -fuck.


	11. 1/11/09

**1/11/09-**

 ****Um…wow.

So, I just got home a couple of hours ago from Chase’s mountain (it’s past midnight, so I figured I might as well just start a whole new day) and, good news: I’ve got the Serpent’s Tail after all.

I’m pretty much shocked speechless, but I guess asking nicely _worked_. Must be Chase’s honor-code or something like that.

I could try to figure out his motives from here to doomsday, though, and the answer I’d come up with would probably be _way_ off-base. Besides, I’ve got better things to do than think about stuff that’s not going to help me.

I’m going to start running some tests on the Serpent’s Tail right away. I figure the sooner I can get down all the information, the sooner I can get it back to Chase. I’d prefer not to keep it too long so he doesn’t think I’m trying to steal it from him (you know, pretend to borrow it and then just keep it forever). I really want him to be able to trust me more than that, so…

Yeah, anyways, I’m just going to get started with all this crap; maybe I’ll write more later.

  
 **1/11/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****It’s later. The sun’s been up for a couple of hours, but I’m still working on this. There’s a lot of data to collect, and I’ve got to watch it the whole time while it’s recording in case something important comes up; my bots aren’t able to recognize that kind of stuff. Well, they can _recognize_ it, like what it is and what it means, but they wouldn’t be able to know if it’s important to what I’m doing or not. They’re just not made to think like that.

Either way, that means it’s up to me to watch all these numerical readouts as they’re being recorded, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

I’m hoping to get to sleep by noon, but we’ll see how that goes.


	12. 1/12/09

**1/12/09-**

 ****Haven’t slept yet: no time. Tired, but I feel like I’m really close to something right now, so I don’t think I should stop.

I had breakfast and lunch already, sent down to the lab, I mean; stuff I could eat one-handed so I could use the other for writing down data. If I miss something, I’ll have to start all the hell over again, and fuck that. Lucky I’m ambidextrous so I can jot down some quick notes in here and take down information with the other.

I think it’s just around dinner time; I know because the combination of the clock and my stomach are telling me so.

I still don’t want to stop researching the Serpent’s Tail yet, meaning no time for a sit-down, fork-and-knife dinner. That’s fine: I’ll just have a bot send something else down in a little while; I’m not real picky about what it is right now.

Hopefully a breakthrough will come soon; my eyes are starting to get that dry and burny feeling.


	13. 1/13/09

**1/13/09-**

 ****Still nothing. Working on it, but no big things are forthcoming, which means I’ve got to keep going.

I’ve gotten so tired I think I’m not tired anymore…if that makes sense, I’m not even really sure what I just wrote down. If it’s in my head, it’s going on this page; I can’t even _think_ about filtering it right now, much less be bothered to actually _do_ it.

I don’t know, I probably shouldn’t be wasting my focus on this thing. My brain can’t really handle two things at once right now, even if my hands can. More later, I guess.


	14. 1/14/09

**1/14/09-**

 ****Fuck.

No breakthrough. Haven’t slept yet. Caffeine isn’t helping much anymore. Feeling pretty one-track minded, but can’t bother to think about that now.

Hungry, too. Screw it, busy; could stand to lose a pound or two, anyways.

Until further notice.


	15. 1/15/09

**1/15/09-**

 ****Damn. Um…looking back, I probably _should_ have slept, if just to regain some semblance of coherence.

You might notice that that coherence is back by the fact that I’m writing actual _sentences_ instead of disjointedness. That’d be because I actually _did_ take a nap; who’d have thought sleep deprivation could be solved by sleep? Certainly not me, because yesterday, I think I forgot _how_ to sleep, or maybe I forgot that it was actually an option.

Either way, the sleeping wasn’t prompted by nothing!

Guess who showed up to try to swipe the Serpent’s Tail from me? Really, though, who else could it be but the witch who practically gets a hard-on for Shen Gong Wu?

Anyway, I was so fucking out of it yesterday that I didn’t even hear her come in, and I was completely unaware of it until she grabbed me by the shoulder.

Which was pretty dumb, considering that when I’m working on something really important, like this, I keep an electric current running through my coat (well, specifically through special wires woven through the _fibers_ of the coat) to keep anyone from fucking up my project.

About twenty volts sent her back onto the floor; not sure why _she_ fell for it, though. She _knows_ how I get when I’m _really_ into something, so she shouldn’t have fallen for the electric trench coat thing. She probably forgot.

Anyway, we bantered about nothing for awhile; I was kinda curious as to why she would go to the trouble of trying to take the Serpent's Tail, seeing as Chase might as well have _explicitly_ told her not to.

You’d think she’d have a healthy fear of a guy who’d just as soon rip her head off and feed it to diseased rats as look at her, but no.

She actually made a comment about me wearing my eyeliner thicker than usual, which I thought was weird, because I haven’t put any on in three or four days. I looked in a mirror after she left, actually, and I can see why she’d think that: I looked (and still kind of look) _horrible_ ; the very definition of ‘death warmed over’! The bags under my eyes had bags, and _those_ bags had bags, not to mention how fucking pasty I looked.

I mean, I'm albino anyways (a weird type induced specifically by all those fertility drugs mom took to get knocked up with me; there isn't even any kind of history of it in the family: just _me_ ), so pale is a given, but I was pretty much _transparent_ , and that kinda settled the issue of going to sleep right there.

I’m getting off-topic again. So! Wuya started bitching about something or other (I wasn’t really paying attention, and not just because I was only half-there anyways), and then she made like she was going to come at me.

I didn’t even think: I just pulled my laser-pistol out of my pocket and blasted a hole in her calf. Luckily, it didn’t make a mess on my floor, because it’s a laser. It instantly cauterized the wound it made, so no blood clean-up for me (thank God).

I told her to get out, that I didn’t have time for her shit, something to that effect (again, don’t really remember details).

I scribbled a note to Chase really quick and sent it off to him with a Jackbot, as per our agreement: I got to borrow the Serpent’s Tail so long as I let him know if somebody tried to swipe it off me. I kept up my end of the bargain; told him Wuya went after it even though he told her not to indirectly, but I promised that I handled it and the Serpent’s Tail was still with me.

…though he’d probably have started asked questions on his own when she _limped_ home with a mysterious hole in her leg. Even so, I promised I’d let him know if anything happened, so I did. Maybe that’ll help with the trust thing.

Needless to say, after Wuya ran off with her tail in between her legs (cursing me all the way, too, I can assure you; she gets pretty nasty when she’s been humiliated), I set right to pausing the data collection and taking a fucking _nap_. It lasted about twelve hours, and that brings us up until now.

I feel _way_ better, by the way; bags are still there, but their bags and their bags’ bags are gone at least, and my red veins are once more invisible to the naked eye upon looking at the back of my hand. I’d say that’s an improvement!

I’m going to get back to work now that I’m refreshed and ready, but I’m _definitely_ not going to keep going until I’m ready to drop again.


	16. 1/16/09

**1/16/09-**

 ****BREAKTHROUGH. _HUGE_ BREAKTHROUGH.

So, I started working again after getting some sleep yesterday; I haven’t been back to bed since, but I think it's okay this time because I’m running on twelve hours of sleep and I’ve only been awake for about fourteen.

Anyways, as I already wrote in big capital letters, I just hit a _major_ breakthrough in this whole project: I think I figured out the exact method the Serpent’s Tail uses to make matter intangible but still allow it to keep its shape so that it can convert it back exactly as it was when it was solid.

I won’t go into a bunch of details; if anyone ever _does_ read this journal, I’m sure they’d just flip pages until I finished writing about it anyways. But the gist of the concept is that it regulates the bonds of the molecules of the being/object so that they can have the _consistency_ of air, but simultaneously keep their bonds strong enough so that they don’t dissipate _completely_ like air. Pretty complex stuff; not surprised it took me this long to figure it out.

The good news, though, is that I can solve that in my matter-shifter pretty easily by just keeping a constant current running through myself.

The better news is that the current required is incredibly mild; so low in voltage it doesn’t even really show up on any scale, meaning that there will be no consequences to my body from exposure to it (unless I was using it every day, every hour, every minute, and every second for approximately forty-eight years of my life).

The supremely mega-awesome news is that I can have it up and operational in a good two hours.

 _Fuck_ yes.

Of course, I know there’s a margin for error, and I don’t want anything to go wrong and end up killing myself ( _especially_ after all the trouble I went to in figuring this out), so I’m going to have to do some trial runs  with it first. You know, test it on a small, simple object to see if it works, then a small, complex object to see if it works without messing up vital components, then up through the medium and large-sized simple and complex objects to test how much of a factor size is on those, and then, finally, I’m going to have to do some tests on animals.

It’s not inhumane, by the way! Matter-shifting doesn’t hurt and by the time I’ve done that many tests, the chances that it’ll screw up and end up killing the animal are incredibly low. It's just protocol that a couple things with heartbeats be tested before I run the risk of the matter-shifter working _perfectly_ on the inanimate but having a _huge_ bug with the animate and end up putting myself to death.

I’ll have to get, like, a lab-rat or something first; something small. Then maybe a pig because it’s in the medium size-range and then, _hopefully_ , I can get my hands on a monkey. That would supremely ideal, because they’re almost like humans.

Afterwards, I could release the monkey back into the wild, cowboy might like the pig (and besides, maybe a present of something he likes would make him more reluctant to kick my ass), and…well, a lab-rat’s a lab-rat: there’s no wild for it to go back to. Maybe I could foist it off on Ashley, but then again, she’d probably just eat it or feed it to one of her cats.

I’ll come back to what to do with the lab-rat later.

For now: put in orders to obtain test animals, touch up matter-shifter with newly-figured out features, and make sure the Serpent’s Tail gets back to Chase now that I’m done with it.


	17. 1/17/09

**1/17/09-**

 ****So, I’m _definitely_ having a good day!

My matter-shifter is fully rebuilt and after doing test runs on the inanimate objects, I’m pleased to say that size plays no factor in its ability to shift between states of solid and non-solid, as well as the fact that it has no trouble keeping minute, internal details of the objects throughout the transformation; that’s a good sign that the animals are going to be just fine.

But anyways, since it works on at least one class of thing, I didn’t need the Serpent’s Tail anymore: even if it’s a huge failure with the living things, I have enough data to try and figure out how to fix it then _without_ the Wu.

So I decided to bring it back in person. It’s nice to see Chase and not be booted out immediately because I borrowed something of his and have the excuse of returning it. I wonder if he’d fall for the old ‘borrow a cup of sugar’ routine?

Probably not.

Either way, he complimented me (or at least I _think_ it might’ve been a compliment) on my quick return of it and for keeping my promise to tell him if anything happened that might put the borrowing situation in danger. He mentioned something about Wuya being properly punished for that, but he didn’t go into details, and I didn’t ask: didn’t really care.

I was too busy trying to keep from swooning at the moment, because that would’ve been the most embarrassing thing to ever happen in my life _ever_. But I mean, he was _talking_ to me and he didn’t call me stupid or a failure or _anything_! If I didn’t know better, I’d almost say he was actually _pleased_ with me: if that doesn’t take the cake, I don’t know what does.

I must actually be doing something right for once.

In which case, I should probably get back to…well, actually there’s not much I _can_ do right now. None of the animals are here yet, and I _definitely_ don’t want to test my matter-shifter on me first, so…

I’m just going to go watch TV.

  



	18. 1/18/09

**1/18/09-**

 ****The animals are here! They’ve been here since this morning, and I’ve been wasting no time.

The good news: all of them have been tested and there seems to be no side-effects from the matter-shift. The monkey sneezed when he shifted back to solid form, though; it's probably nothing, or just allergies, but I’m going to watch him for 24 hours just to be sure there’s nothing seriously wrong.

The bad news: I still have no idea what to do with this lab-rat.

I don’t want to kill him, because that’s…really not me. I don’t want to sell him back to the store, either, because then what’s the best life he can hope for? Dinner for a python? No, thanks. And I don’t have any other experiments I could run on him, so…still having an IDK moment here.

He’s kinda cute, though, and his fur is really soft. I know that last part because he’s sitting in my hand right now for some reason. I think he likes me.

God knows why.

Maybe he’s sort of getting that kindred spirit vibe, too (he’s albino like I am, but his eyes are more pink than mine). Maybe I could-

Oh, that’s _so_ cute: he’s cleaning his face! I love him.

It's official: I’m keeping this rat as my pet, now. Maybe I’ll name him Albert…no, too much like Algernon.

Finnian is good. I will hug him and squeeze him and call him Finnian!

…I have a terrible sense of humor.

Anywho, I’ve got to play the waiting game with the monkey, now; make sure he doesn’t explode or contract lung cancer or something weird.

But for now…maybe Finnian would care for some cheese. I could probably use a _grilled_ cheese right about now, too.


	19. 1/19/09

**1/19/09-**

 ****Monkey’s fine: I figured as much. Either way, he’s back in his habitat by now, chilling with his monkey friends and telling them stories about the mad scientist that captured him.

I sent Mr. Piggy to the Xiaolin Temple. They haven’t sent him back, yet, so I’m going to assume they checked him all over for injuries or bugs I might’ve put on him and Clay has accepted it as part of the pseudo-good family…or maybe more than that. I’m not all that sure what the cowboy does with pigs; he seems just a bit too friendly with them for my tastes.

Ah well, at the very least, he’s man enough to satisfy Mr. Piggy, so he’s probably in good hands.

My matter-shifter’s totally ready to go. I did a test on myself, walking through a couple of walls, swiping a hand through myself to make sure I wouldn’t dissipate even though I was technically gaseous in form, but nothing catastrophic happened. It’s totally safe and ready to win me the next Showdown.

But therein lie the problem: nothing has happened _all day_.

Just my luck that I’ve got my trump card all ready and nobody’s playing poker today.

I’ve just sort of been hanging out with Finnian, who’s a lot smarter than I gave him credit for, by the way. I was sitting on the couch watching Wordgirl (because I had a mouse on my lap and there’s a mouse-based villain on that show, and I thought it’d be kind of ironic), and he was watching it, too.

I don’t mean, like, looking at the screen every once in awhile because it’s colorful and a loud noise made him look, like other animals do, I mean he was _paying attention to it_.

I think he understood what was going on the whole time.

Finnian seems to like Dr. Two-Brains, but I guess that’s a given: all three of us are albino, and the two of them have mice brains.

Considering it looks like he enjoys villainy and has more intelligence than your average mouse, I might actually be able to train him to be my new evil-sidekick!

I’ll bring it up to him later; if he’s not big on the ‘sidekick’ thing, I’ll go for the ‘partner’ approach and see how it goes.

I’m just…going to be bored for awhile. I hope something happens today before my brain explodes.


	20. 1/20/09

**1/20/09-**

 ****Nothing happened yesterday, but today was pretty kick-ass.

I won another Shen Gong Wu, _finally_ , once more thanks to my matter-shifter!

It’s called the Suǒ Xì Shí Ring. I’m not that thrilled about what I can do with it, because its very name means ‘trivial knowledge.’ I’m guessing it’s a really low-scale Fountain of Hui type of thing, or the equivalent of carrying all the Trivial Pursuit cards around with you wherever you go.

I don’t care about _it_ ; I care that I _won_ it.

If I could keep this pattern up longer than every once in a blue moon, I might actually be able to _take_ my evil career places (speaking of which, Finnian is totally onboard with the evil partner thing, but I’ll get to that later).

So, I showed up where the Wu went active. I didn’t even bring any bots: I didn’t need them. I got there first and just picked the ring up. I was about to shove it in my pocket and go home, but you know, the Xiaolin losers are never very far behind me.

They showed up, started talking about how they were going to thwart my evil plans, yadda, yadda, yadda, the usual, tired spiel.

Before that, though, I think they almost didn’t recognize me. My Wu alarm went off early in the morning, and I didn’t have any time to grab my trench coat or put on my eyeliner, and besides that, I’ve been keeping my hair down for a couple of days because Finnian has taken to napping in it, and I didn’t want to risk him getting poisoned by hair gel chemicals, so…

It was kinda interesting to see their reactions before they noticed my goggles and helipack. Cheeseball and cowboy just sort of looked confused, like a ‘who the hell is that?’ kind of confused, but Kim and lover-boy…

I actually think they were giving me ‘The Eye’. Just a little weird.

But anyways! I’m getting off-topic again.

So once they collectively came to the conclusion that it was me, they started getting all bitchy and annoying about how I apparently didn’t learn my lesson from last time, and how I’ll never win.

I really…didn’t care.

That pissed them off even more, I guess, and they came at me (gang up on the unarmed guy: nice). I didn’t want to deal with it, so I gave my new matter-shifter its first field-test and it passed with flying colors.

Just like _they_ passed through me and landed flat on their faces behind me. Yeah, I laughed: it was funny.

Before their WTF moment could wear off, I decided to leave because I remembered Finnian was at home, probably hungry and lonely or something, and upon weighing which was more important (taunting the monks or giving my pet rat some lovies), I decided the rat was more important.

So, after I got home, I gave Finnian some attention. He seemed like he was curious as to where I went, so I told him and used that as a segue into what I was wondering yesterday. ‘So, I’m evil, and hey, you wouldn’t happen to want to be my evil partner, would you?’

He nodded, which automatically proved he’s smarter than the average lab-rat. Maybe his previous owner irradiated him and gave him super brain-power or something.

But I digress.

The monks tried to break in later like last time, but I kept the matter-shifter on just in case that happened and hid the Wu in Finnian’s cage up in my room, so I was ready for them.

They ran off through the hole in the wall they made for the fiftieth time, and I’m actually feeling pretty good about where my life is going right now.

I’ve been watching Finnian play with the Suǒ Xì Shí Ring for about an hour, now. It’s adorable, because he doesn’t know what to do with it: he thinks it’s a hat or something.

I wonder if Chase saw me win today? I’ll have to thank him tomorrow for letting me borrow the Serpent’s Tail; I couldn’t have won this time without his help.


	21. 1/21/09

**1/21/09-**

 ****I’m feeling _so_ smug right now, it should be illegal.

So, I stopped off to see Chase like I said I was going to do, thanked him for lending me his Wu, etc.

He seemed surprised that I was there at all, like he figured I was just going keep all the credit for the matter-shifter, but it was sort of a ‘surprised in a good way’ kind of thing.

He congratulated me on my ‘newfound’ ability to give credit where credit was due; kind of a backhanded compliment, but fuck if I care: it’s a _compliment_.

After that he kind of shooed me away, but I did what I went there to do, so I left with no complaint.

What I’m smug about is the fact that I actually had a conversation with him today (if a brief one) with no real derogatory names or violence involved, something that’s never really happened before.

Like, _ever_.

I _must_ be getting on the right track if that’s happening. Now, I’ve just gotta stay the course.

In the meantime, though, I’ve had a couple things on my mind.

The first is Finnian.

He’s obviously a lot smarter than a lab-rat _should_ be. I’m kinda wondering if it’s a plot against me or something weird like that: you know, gain my trust as a pet and then take me down from the inside.

I don’t _want_ that to be true, obviously. I like Finnian, because now I don’t have to consider the monks the closest things I’ve got to friends, but I still don’t want to take any chances.

I _can’t_ take any huge falls now that I’m actually starting to go somewhere as an evil genius, _especially_ with the decidedly nice direction things are going in with Chase.

So, even though I haven’t seen anything from Finnian to make me think he’s plotting against me or a pawn of someone who is, I’m going to ask if I can check him out; you know, some diagnostics to make sure he’s actually a rat and not somebody or something hiding in the disguise of a rat.

If he’s not okay with it, that’ll probably be a tell that he’s not on the up-and-up and I’ll _have_ to check him out, then, but if he agrees (which he should; I can’t really see him saying no to this), then I’ll just run a brief diagnostic or two. If he’s a shape-shifter of some kind or is being mind-controlled by somebody who’s out to get me, I’ll know in ten minutes tops by some simple things like heart-rate and brain-waves.

But aside from that, the other thing I was thinking about is starting a new project.

I couldn’t _help_ but notice what the Serpent’s Tail did for my matter-shifter, and I started thinking about what I might be able to do with other Shen Gong Wu.

Eventually, I came up with the concept (a very _vague_ one) of maybe making mechanical equivalents of Shen Gong Wu.

I figure it would be pretty helpful so that even if the monks have a certain Wu I might need, I could have its non-magical equivalent to myself. It’d be able to do the same thing as the original, and I wouldn’t have to confront the monks and risk my other Wu (or my ass) to use it when I need it.

The only issue with that is that I’d need the actual Shen Gong Wu of whatever I was replicating _to_ replicate it, which could prove to be a problem, and I’d definitely need help with that.

I’m considering groveling on hands and knees at Chase’s feet for any help he’s willing to give, because there might be a good chance he will with enough buttering up. He seems happier with me, lately, so as long as I’m not on his Hit List, I’ve got a mathematic probability higher than negative of getting him to cooperate.

I’m not going to ask him right away. That’d be stupid, because I _just_ saw him, and I’ll be back on the Hit List if I bug him every two minutes. I think I’ll let him enjoy at least a week of not dealing with me so he doesn’t think I’m trying to ride his coattails or something by asking for his help all the time and then once he’s had his space, I’ll visit and beg my ass off.

We’ll see how that goes.

I don’t know what I should do for the rest of the day. I kind of feel like just going to bed a couple hours early, so I think I’ll do that.


	22. 1/22/09

**1/22/09-**

 ****I talked to Finnian about the diagnostic thing. He seemed like he actually wanted to do it: if anything, I’d guess he was hoping I could figure out why he’s as smart as he is.

And I did.

It’s sort of a ‘Rats of NIMH’ deal, believe it or not. He’s definitely been experimented on to some extent, because his brain-waves are really similar to human ones, and that doesn’t happen naturally.

That doesn’t mean he’s a shape-shifter _or_ being mind-controlled, though. If he were the former, his heart-rate would be human, or if not human, then whatever the heart-rate of the original species of the shape-shifter was. Finnian’s is perfectly normal for a rat.

As for the mind-control, if that were happening, his brain-waves would be typical of a rat, but there’d be interference, like _two_ sets of brain-waves. It’s only his, and it’s most definitely _not_ normal for a rat.

So that pretty much cleared up any doubts I had about the little guy; good thing, too, because I wasn’t all that sure I could get rid of him.

He’s too damn cute, and besides that, he’s grown on me.

But I told him what the deal with his brain was; that he’s as smart as he is because of somebody doing some seriously screwed up, whack-a-doo experiments on him, and he looked a little confused, like he didn’t remember any of that kind of thing.

I’m not surprised: he probably blocked it out. That kind of intelligence wouldn’t come to a mouse without a _lot_ of hellish experiments.

I feel bad for him, but I think in the end, it's actually better he doesn’t remember whoever or whatever made him the rat he is today and by what means.

You know, I just realized I haven’t flown my jet in, like three months? That’s weird for me.

Maybe tomorrow. Right now, I think bed sounds pretty good, though, so I’m just going to grab Finnian out of his cage so he can sleep on my head like he likes.


	23. 1/23/09

**1/23/09-**

 ****Today was fun.

No Shen Gong Wu went active, so I had the whole day free to just chill out like I wanted.

I went flying because it's _really_ been too long, and I think I was out for a good two-thirds of the day, just pulling tricks and goofing off. I randomly decided to take Finnian flying, too (I got him his own miniature seat, complete with safety belt for the jet, so no worries), and I actually think he liked it.

You know, except for the barrel-rolls and corkscrews: he doesn’t seem to be a fan of those, even if I am, unless it means enjoyment when a rat turns visibly green.

I headed back home when the sky started to get darker: I can fly fine at night, but I figured I shouldn’t be out _all_ day; just most of it.

You know, I’d almost forgotten how much _fun_ it was to fly just for the hell of it, like with no pressure to beat someone somewhere.

Maybe I should try to do stuff I’m good at just for the hell of it more often; I haven’t been ice-skating in a while, either, so maybe I’ll give that a shot again. It's not cold enough out for any ponds to be anywhere _near_ frozen (it’s sunny, for God’s sake! How the hell'd _that_ happen?!) so I’ll have to go to an indoor one somewhere. Not a problem; that’s what Google is for!

I probably won’t go tomorrow, though. I think I just want to hang around the house and watch TV: something mundane and, dare I say it?, normal.

Oddly enough, I think Fin will be just fine with that after today. I should probably get him some ginger tea or something, actually; he still looks a bit nauseous.


	24. 1/24/09

**1/24/09-**

 ****Today was a lazy-day if a lazy-day ever existed.

I didn’t do _anything_ all day unless laying on the couch like a potato counts as something.

Because of my day of doing nothing today, I’ve just sort of discovered this show called The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack. It’s pretty trippy; almost like Superjail! but for kids.

I’ve gotta say, I’m proud of Cartoon Network for playing at least _one_ good show these days; that’s more than can be said for most of the other networks. Nickelodeon’s got the same amount (Spongebob, obviously), but I mean, Disney specifically has gone _down the drain_.

What happened to Darkwing Duck and Gargoyles and the Aladdin TV series? _Those_ were good shows! At least the last two had animated eye-candy. Puck and Mozenrath: _yum_. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if watching those two guys on TV growing up turned me gay (naturally, though, I don’t mind in the least).

I guess it’s a good thing I recorded some of those older, better cartoons, because that way, I actually had something to watch today.

I think Finnian actually rolled his eyes at me when I started drooling over Moze. I can’t help it, though: he’s a sexy bitch! He’s the closest thing to the _actual_ sexy bitch I’m fond of that I can drool over without getting my head kicked in and god dammit, I’m going to drool!

I think I might have a _specific_ thing for magical overlords with long, dark hair, though; I’ll have to look into that.

Anyways, nothing got done today; nothing was _intended_ to get done, though, so everything went according to plan.

I might see that tomorrow’s more interesting, but I think I’m going to watch TV for another couple of hours and then just pass out on the couch.

Yeah, that sounds pretty good.


	25. 1/25/09

**1/25/09-**

 ****I lied about making today more interesting.

I didn’t sit on the couch or sleep all day like yesterday, but I didn’t do anything _exciting_ either.

Mostly, I just tried to outline my plan for the mechanical Wu project. I got a little further in my logic, and it might not take as much time as I originally figured it would (four to five years), but I’m still _definitely_ going to need Chase on this one.

I’m getting _better_ at dealing with the monks: I’m not ready to see what they would make happen to me if I just started taking all their Wu, because that never turned out well for me in the past, either.

I don’t know, there’s not much for this I can do without actually having the damn things to look off of and start working, so I’m just writing in this journal with my right hand and doodling in a random notebook with my left.

I’m not even quite sure _what_ my left hand is doodling. Kinda looks like an elephant, but that toaster it seems to have for a face is making me wonder. I haven’t had much contact with my right brain lately seeing as I’ve been trying to stick more with my left, so I’m thinking maybe it's gone insane from isolation.

Never mind, it’s probably not important. Finnian looks a little dingy, though, now that I look at him. I should give him a bath; I might as well, seeing as I’m not really doing anything significant at the moment.


	26. 1/26/09

**1/26/09-**

 ****Okay, _now_ it's Chinese New Year; fuck if I care, it’s been the new year for me since about, oh, twenty-six days earlier.

It’s the Year of the Ox, I think…no, yeah, _definitely_ the Year of the Ox, because last year was the Rat.

Speaking of rats, Finnian loved the _hell_ out of his bath. I was almost positive it’d be a fight getting him to get _into_ the bathroom sink, but instead, it ended up being a fight to get him _out_ of the bathroom sink.

Who would’ve thought he’d like the bubbles so damn much?

But I’ve got a really incurable tendency of going off-topic, apparently. I’ve been figuring a lot of things out about myself by keeping this journal; that’s good, because I think now that I’m realizing what’s wrong with me and the way I do things, I can get past it and fix my issues.

I say again: fuck therapy.

Back to Chinese New Year, though; Year of the Ox and all that.

I wasn’t all that big on zodiac stuff before I moved here, but I’ve been getting more and more into it over the past nine or ten years: it’s pretty neat, actually.

I’m a Rooster (Year of the Cock), and…

I just had to stop to tell Fin to shut the hell up; he gave me a look just because I laughed and said ‘cock’ out loud. I can’t help it: it’s funny! _Especially_ when one considers that I was born under that animal _and_ I ended up gay.

Well, _I_ think it’s funny, at least…

Anywho, back to what I was going to say: I’m almost positive Chase is an Ox. I never said anything to him about it, though, because I can’t be _completely_ positive. That’s to be expected, though; I mean, it’s not like I know _exactly_ when he was born or anything (only that his birthday was somewhere some odd 1,500 years before now), but he fits that personality profile best and I’m just sort of hoping my guess is right.

Maybe because the Ox and Rooster are compatible zodiacs.

Gah, I’m _way_ too desperate. Okay, stopping with Chase…NOW.

So, back to Finnian, when I ran those diagnostics on him a couple of days ago, I figured out he’s a year old, meaning…

He was born in the Year of the Rat! That’s _almost_ as funny to me as Year of the ‘Cock’; almost, but not quite. It’s more _weird_ that his zodiac matches his species than anything, I guess, but it’s still a neat coincidence.

So…what happened today again?

Oh, yeah; duh! New Wu today. How’d I forget that one?

It’s another pretty useless one; I don’t even know the name of it, but it’s a necklace that shoots really tiny fireworks and that’s all it does.

Why do I get the feeling Dashi made this one as a celebratory thing just to eff with us and make us think that if we got in a Showdown over it that it was actually useful? Like a New Year’s prank or something?

I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter, I guess.

Nothing really happened with it, though. I ended up getting there first (and by the way, fuck the arctic tundra right up the ass, the frigid bitch) and grabbed the thing. I didn’t even have to really look for it, but then again, it's hard to _miss_ a string of red and gold beads with a _really_ gaudy, elaborate pendant on it sitting right on top of a snowdrift.

Like I said, nothing happened because by the time I left, I only just saw the monks as a speck on the horizon; needless to say I didn’t wait around for them and high-tailed it out of there.

I think I’ve waited for them before once I had the Wu and could have conceivably escaped with it. I don’t remember it turning out well…or I don't really remember it at all. It was probably that time the very last bot standing after the losers got through with the lot of them had to drag me home because I couldn’t fly on my own on account of the concussion.

If that was a fun day, I sure as hell can’t remember it.

I was pretty sure the monks would’ve figured out that I had it eventually and try to get it back, so I prepared some security defenses and such to keep them from even getting in, which worked just fine. They didn't even break my wall this time!

Oddly enough, they didn’t even _try_ to bust in until four or five hours _after_ the fact, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say they stopped by Chase first to see if he took it.

Dumb move by the looks of them from the window when they showed up. I’m willing to bet he pointed them in the right direction after kicking a couple manners into them about breaking into people’s houses and accusing them of stealing shit without anything that remotely passes as proof.

 _Fuck_ , I wish I’d seen that; Chase is always _hot as Hell_ when he’s fighting.

Aaannnddd I’m talking about him again, aren’t I? Well, shit, then.

There’s not much else to say. I’ve been messing with this Wu for a while, because the mini-fireworks are cool to watch. Finnian was _very_ against them at first, but once he realized they were harmless and too teeny to really do any damage to anything, he warmed up to them.

I think this entry is just about at a close, anyways, so…yeah.


	27. 1/27/09

**1/27/09-**

 ****Another Showdown today, and it was actually kind of important (for once).

It’s called the Shuāng Stave. It’s…well, let’s put it this way: it's like if the Spear of Guan had hot, wild monkey-sex with the Sword of the Storm ‘cause it was drunk and even _Shen Gong Wu_ were looking sexy at that point, and then the Sword of the Storm got knocked up and tried to call the Spear of Guan about it on it's cell phone, but it never called back. It decided to have the baby anyways, but when it was born, it turned out it was Siamese twins and so the Sword of the Storm ditched it in a brothel where it grew up as a French whore.

It's kind of a long description, but it fits.

I almost didn’t go for it, because I didn’t really want it: I’m no good at combat with close range weapons (long-range weapons are my specialty: bows, mines/grenade-y type things, sniper rifles, etc.).

But then again, I decided that even if I didn’t want it, the _monks_ sure as hell couldn’t have it.

I made a play for it, but because I got there kind of late, I had to actually _get_ it from the losers. Luckily, I brought the matter-shifter (again, I know, but it works, and it’s all I’ve got to work with at the moment) so it didn’t take long. I just had to go diamond-form and rush them.

Once they realized by trying to hit me that ‘ _fuck_ , that really hurt,’ I shoved them into a group of French whores and while the cowboy was far too distracted to remember to hold onto the thing, I picked it up when he dropped it.

He was blushing _so_ hard when I left; probably because he’d landed with his face on one of the girls in a rather inappropriate place (*cough*funbags*cough*). I kinda hope he didn’t get a nosebleed and lose all the blood in his face, because that would’ve been _all_ of his blood. XD

Anywho! I got away with the damn thing, even if it was a little cumbersome to fly away with.

Another victory for me!

I don’t have it right now, though, and before you ask, _no_ , the monks didn’t steal it back.

On the way back home from France, I called for a bot to meet me halfway and take it off my hands.

Since I didn’t want it or have any use for it, I figured Chase might like a little gift from yours truly.

You know, that, and it might help my case for tomorrow, since I’m going to propose my project (the one about the mechanized Wu) now that’s it’s just about been a week since I saw him last. I mean, I figure I could convince him anyways since I’m starting to do _well_ in evil for once, and he was willing to help me with a project the last time, but considering the sheer _magnitude_ of this one _and_ the fact that it’d involve doing stuff for no other purpose but to help me (something I don’t get the feeling he’s done before or was _ever_ all that inclined to do)…

Bribery can’t really hurt my case, now can it?

On that note, I can’t help but wonder why Chase didn’t go after the thing himself? I’ve said before I probably have _no_ chance of figuring out his motives for _anything_ , but my best guesses are that A) he’s got enough magical weapons lying about as it is and doesn’t really need a two-headed spear-sword hybrid with magic powers to add to the collection or B) he wanted to see what I’d do with it if I _did_ win.

The second one sounds more like him, I think, even though the first one is still a possibility.

Either way, I hope he likes the present, because I need all the help I can _get_ to do this thing.


	28. 1/28/09

**1/28/09-**

 ****It’s official: I’m the biggest procrastinator _ever_.

So, it’s just about 7:00 at night, and guess what? I have not gone to see Chase yet.

Why? I’m scared out of _my mind_.

I know I shouldn’t be. I know if I say it the right way and douse liberally with ass-kissing I’ve got a good chance at getting him to help me out. I’m totally fine with all the logical aspects of this: do what you have to do, worst case scenario, he says no and sends you home, best case scenario, he says yes and you’re well on your way to jump-starting this project.

It’s the rest of me that’s the problem.

I’ve been freaking out about it _all_ day, and my head just keeps running through _all_ the different worst case scenarios: the ones where he not only says no and sends me packing but kicks the crap out of me before he does it.

Did you know you can imagine in excruciating detail about sixteen _different_ ways you can get your head ripped off? I had no idea my brain was so macabre.

I’ve been trying to keep myself occupied with other random stuff all day, but when I’m nervous like this nothing works for long, so I’ve pretty much been running around like a headless chicken trying to find the miracle activity that’ll take my mind off the fact that I have to go see Chase eventually. Hell, my hands are actually shaking right now if you look hard enough.

Okay, no, you know what? I’m…I’m just being ridiculous. I said it myself: I’ve gotta see him eventually, and…and I said I was gonna do it today, so…I should just suck it the hell up and go see him.

If he kills me, then goddammit, he kills me.

If I never come back home, by the way, and police investigating my disappearance find this thing (kinda hard _not_ to considering it's right on my desk next to Fin’s cage), I’m probably dead and my last will and testament are under my mattress.


	29. 1/29/09

**1/29/09-**

 ****Holy crap: miracle of miracles!

I’m still alive, and no, not disfigured or crippled in any manner whatsoever: _it actually went well._

So to rewind a bit, I _forced_ myself to go see Chase (and get this: the door actually opened and _not_ on my face!).

I couldn’t have scripted the whole scenario better, honestly, because after making sure he knew how awesome I think he is in order to keep my heart beating and _behind_ my ribs, I went about really vaguely easing into the topic of mechanical Shen Gong Wu (because you can’t just walk into _Chase Young’s_ mountain and, without preamble, go, ‘Do stuff for me, bitch!’ Then again, I guess you _could_ but your life-expectancy would abruptly _eighth_ ).

But I mean, I made my case and he was on board with it from the beginning: I didn’t have to beg or _anything_!

Anyways, we worked it out so that he’ll help me get ahold of the Wu so I can study/replicate them and for every one he lends me or temporarily steals from the monks, I’ll owe him a nonspecific, unquestioned favor at a time of his choosing.

Smart, isn’t he?

I don’t care, though: even if he asks for, like, the hardest or most humiliating stuff ever, I’d do it anyways.

I totally owe him for this.

So, after we made the deal (we shook on it: he _touched my hand_ , but more importantly, that means he has at least enough respect for me to trust my word, so yay, me!), he gave me a Wu to start with since he had the Shroud of Shadows immediately on hand.

I thanked him and left, and took a quick nap right when I got home so I could work through the whole day today.

That’s going pretty well so far, but the day’s not totally over, yet…

ANYWAYS. I’ve made a lot of progress in studying the Shroud of Shadows so far. I’m actually glad I’m starting the project with this one, because it shouldn’t be too hard to replicate considering I already have an idea of how it works and the fact that it’s nowhere _near_ as complicated as the Serpent’s Tail.

Basically, the Shroud of Shadows works by contracting things called chromatophores (which are usually biological, but in this case, seem somehow synthetic) to emphasize a certain pigment while relaxing other chromatophores for different pigments and making them invisible, thereby changing the overall color/appearance. It does it to match the environment and then continues actively changing the pigmentation to keep the wearer invisible at all times (as opposed to just changing according to the environment once and then keeping the same colors even after the wearer moved somewhere else: that, obviously, wouldn’t work very well).

Again, it shouldn’t be too hard to replicate, because there’s already a lot of data in existence for that phenomenon: octopi, chameleons, certain species of cuttle fish, the list goes on; unlike the shifting of any given matter, which is a kind of a revolutionary concept in science and just a _bit_ unique to the Serpent’s Tail.

So, basically, I’m working on it and actively making progress.

Oh, and Finnian is hanging out here with me down in the lab because I doubt I’d remember to feed him over the duration of this project otherwise seeing as I tend to get caught up in stuff.

He’s currently gnawing on an apple slice, and he seems pretty content with that, so…I’ll just leave him to it for awhile. He agreed to keep me from working myself to exhaustion again, anyways, so if it gets too late, he’ll get my attention and remind me to go to bed.

Now I just have to figure out where I left that The Future is Wild DVD: even if giant squids scare the fuck out of me, I think that stuff about the Rainbow Squid might help me out a little, so I’ll try to power through it (hopefully with minimal shuddering).


	30. 1/30/09

**1/30/09-**

 ****So, Finnian did a good job as my personal alarm clock last night by stopping me around midnight.

He kinda dropped the ball this morning, though, seeing as I slept about six hours longer than I meant to.

I can’t blame him: he’s just a rat, even _if_ he's a super-intelligent one.

But the point is, I got out of bed eventually and I started back up with the Shroud of Shadows. I think I’ve got all the science down at this point, and I’m close to having a solid set of blueprints to actually start _making_ the replica. The basic concept is just taking ordinary fabric and doing something similar to what I did with my coat: weaving synthetic chromatophores of my own making (instead of electrical wires) through the fibers and then regulating their actions with a series of commands, preferably telepathic ones like with the matter-shifter.

I think my biggest issue in the whole process is figuring out how I should _make_ the synthetic chromatophores; I’ll probably end up messing with nano-technology on this one, but I’ll have to work through _all_ of the logic of everything before I make a concrete decision on that.

In other news, though, Chase hasn’t checked in about the favor I owe him for the use of this Wu. Again, that just shows how smart he is, because he’s probably going to save them up and use a couple all at once when he actually needs me to do something for him. That’s a lot smarter than just blowing the favors right when he gets them and having me do some menial thing just for the sake of doing it, only to later end up needing something _particular_ done and not having any favors left.

Gotta love that in a man, and besides, there's no way to _count_ the number of people who lost a game of Monopoly by handling their money that way instead of investing in hotels and shit.

But I’m off-track again; keeps happening. So, I’m thinking I’ll actually have replicated the Shroud of Shadows by tomorrow because I’m already really far along, and as soon as I finish some solid blueprints, I can just go gung-ho on this thing.

As it is, I’m going to be up for a few more hours trying to nail those blueprints down, but Fin’ll keep me from going too long again.

God, the poor guy looks so damn bored. I’d play with him, but I can’t exactly stop in the middle of this because I want to get this done ASAP. I should get him an exercise wheel; or maybe just _something_ for him to play with while I’m working so his poor mousey brain doesn’t explode from boredom.

Anyways, I _should_ finish by tomorrow if all goes well.

Here’s hoping all goes well!


	31. 1/31/09

**1/31/09-**

 ****All has gone well!

I finally got through the blueprints (and I _did_ end up going with the nano-technology for the chromatophores, after all) around two last night, but I had to stop even though I really just wanted to finish it up because Finnian started harping on me.

Or rather, _squeaking_ …on me…I guess.

I’m glad he did, though, because I was able to start building bright and early while simultaneously refreshed and ready, and I really _do_ work better on a couple of hours sleep as opposed to none.

The nanite-type thingies would’ve taken me six or seven hours (there has to be a _lot_ of those teeny things for it to work out, you know?) if I worked straight through the night, but I knocked it out in only four hours this morning: I has a smug.

After that, I took the extra bed sheet I keep in my closet and started weaving the nanites through it (thank you, random sewing class!), but my fingers started getting sore, so I decided to take five for awhile.

Essentially, I’ve been laying around for about an hour and a half, just watching TV (nothing’s on again, but I’m not really _watching_ anyway; just sort of zoning out with it on), downing a couple of cokes, eating some Cheetoes, the usual relaxation kinda stuff.

I should probably get back to replicating the Shroud, though, seeing as my fingers aren’t all achey anymore and I guess I’ve dragged out my break long enough as it is.

So, I’ll go ahead and get back to work and when I finish putting the nanites in, I’ll test the thing out and see how that goes.

Chase should have the Shroud of Shadows back by next month!

…which…is tomorrow, so it’s really not as long as it sounds. I was just…nevermind, the joke’s not funny anymore now that I had to explain it to you. Thanks for ruining that.


	32. 2/1/09

**2/1/09-**

 ****So, it took a _little_ longer than I thought to get my replica working, because the chromatophore reaction time was too slow. That meant that if I were wearing the SoSv2, I would move somewhere and it would take about thirty seconds to adapt to the new environment.

Not conducive for camouflage, really.

But I got it up and running eventually, and it's completely glitch-free now, so…yay!

I’ve already visited The Owner of the Coolest Porch in the History of Ever (Chase Young, for those of you who are oblivious) to return the real-deal Shroud of Shadows and it went pretty well.

He actually asked me to demonstrate the replica for him; admittedly, he said it was to make sure I hadn’t just borrowed it on the pretense of using it to steal from the monks really quick, but _I_ think it was just a cover: there’s no _way_ he didn’t already know I hadn’t done anything like that with it.

 _I_ think he was sort of testing my ability to replicate an actual Shen Gong Wu, you know, to see if it was worth it to continue helping me with this based on the result of the first one.

Apparently, I must have passed the test, because he promised me another Wu, so…yeah.

I don’t have it yet, since I guess he wasn’t willing to part with any of the Wu he had on hand yet or something and he said he’d get me one from the monks this time. He hasn’t actually _gotten_ it yet, ergo, I don’t have it.

I’m not worried that he won’t get one to me eventually: Chase _doesn’t_ go back on his promises.

I spent most of today making something I call “The Big-Ass Safe.”

Yes, it’s _exactly_ what it sounds like.

I figured I’d be needing it sooner or later anyways, because I’m not retarded and I know exactly what the monks will try to do once they realize that I don’t _have_ the Wu but am replicating them: they’ll try to steal my replicas and break, destroy, or otherwise ruin them just so I don’t have even a fraction of an advantage over them.

They did it with my matter-shifter…the first time around, at least.

But in any case, I think I did a pretty good job on it. I’ve taken a lock-picking class or two (I don’t know _how_ mom thought that’d help to socialize me, but I’m not complaining), and I followed it up with learning how to crack the high-tech stuff, and I’ve got to say that if it weren’t _my_ retina/fingerprint/voice/DNA that helped to open it, it’d be me-proof.

I’m almost positive it’s monk-proof, too; I’ve tested it against some serious elemental damage, and it held up pretty well.

The only things that can do so much as a bit of damage to it are tornado-force winds and magma-temperature fire. No force of nature in the ways of water and earth can even _touch_ the damn thing.

Last I took secret data on the monks when they were training (*cough*weekago*cough*) , Kim and Rai were nowhere _near_ tornado-force and magma-heat, so I’ve got a feeling I don’t have to worry about them getting into it any time soon (once I actually start keeping things in there, that is).

So, that’s done. What else happened today?

Oh! I got a letter from Dad. He said he was in Burma and had gotten me something from ‘a very nice lady’, but he was very vague about it, and whatever it is won’t even be here for another couple of days.

He mentioned something about Customs issues, so I’m guessing whatever it is really isn’t _supposed_ to be crossing any kind of borders, but it's something that can be ignored by waving a little money around.

I’m admittedly nervous about whatever it is. After all, the last gift he sent me had a vicious she-hag in it that has become the bane of my existence by incessantly making like she’s romantic with the guy I’m crushing on (I’m pretty sure she’s not, but it still kinda hurts to see her cuddling up to Chase just to piss me off; even worse when he doesn’t actively make her knock it off).

Gah, I don’t know; my head is telling me there can’t _possibly_ be anything worse than Wuya, but logic is telling me that there’s always something worse and with my luck, I’m bound to find it.

So long as it’s not a supernatural entity again, though, I think I should be okay.

Oh, goddammit; I _hate_ when he does that.

It’s getting kinda late and I’m already in bed, meaning Finnian is out of his cage and trying to get to bed in my hair. He does this thing sort of like cats do when they’re trying to get comfortable and like, picking at my scalp with his feet.

I wouldn’t mind so much if he only did it once and stopped, but it’s more like an hour-long process. I’d tell him to stop, but I’d rather my head be kinda clawed at than my hair eaten in the middle of the night for revenge, so I figure I’ll just let him go for it: he’ll stop eventually.

So, in conclusion, I really have no concrete plans for tomorrow since Chase is going to go at his own pace as far as getting me a new Wu goes, so I’m going to be waiting on him for the time being. Not that I mind so much, it just means I shouldn’t really plan to do other stuff in case he drops by with whatever I’ll be working on next at an undisclosed moment in the future.

I’ll probably just do some mundane thing and stay close to the house so Chase won’t have to go hunting me down somewhere.

Ooh, I haven’t baked anything in awhile! I should make a cake or something…


	33. 2/2/09

**2/2/09-**

 ****Oh my god, I _totally_ spent the whole day indulging my inner-queer.

So, when I woke up and after I took a shower, I baked a cake like I said I was going to do (strawberry shortcake: _yum_ ) and it was a lot more fun than I remembered, so I just went on a baking spree and made a bunch of stuff.

There’s about three cakes in the fridge now, two loaves of banana bread on the counter and there _was_ a batch of cupcakes, but that’s been approximately cut in half by now (I _do_ have a thing for cupcakes).

It’s not like Finnian didn’t help me with that, though; he ate a _whole_ friggin’ cupcake, the little glutton! I’m _definitely_ skipping his dinner tonight in lieu of that, since I wouldn’t want him to explode into cute, little ratty pieces.

So aside from all the baking I’ve been doing, I continued to indulge my inner queer by redecorating the house. It killed what was left of the day at least, and on the bright side, I don’t have to look at those lime-green curtains in the dining room anymore.

BLEGH; they’re now a tasteful, pale yellow thank you very much.

You have no idea how tempted I was to actually renovate my bedroom in an Egyptian temple motif. I refrained _somehow_ with monumental effort, and just redid the color-scheme.

I always _did_ want more purple in my bedroom. Tokyo purple, especially, just blends _really_ nice with black.

You know, if life were an RPG, my Gay would’ve gone up +40 from today alone.

Besides that, Dad sent me another letter ahead of my ‘gift,’ only this one had a picture enclosed.

Whatever he’s sending, it’s in a crate with smallish breathing holes meaning A) it’s a living thing, and B) it's small enough that it could escape if the breathing holes were too big.

Naturally, my curiosity is peaked.

I guess I’ll just have to wait and see as far as figuring out what’s inside Crate #1, though, since I’d rather not go to the trouble of tracking its progress through the mail-system and stealing it.

No word from Chase yet, hence the lack of work on the project. Why do I feel like he’s trying to test my patience by waiting when he could’ve cleaned out the whole Xiaolin Wu Vault by now? Then again, he promised to help me, so I’m going to go ahead and just trust him to bring me a Wu eventually.

It’s getting late, but I’m in this weird space where I’m _totally_ not tired, so I think I’m going to be up a little longer.

I might as well go play with Fin for awhile and use the blanket, actually. He _loves_ finding his way out from under it and I love _watching_ him find his way out from under it seeing as he’s so damnably _cute_.


	34. 2/3/09

**2/3/09-**

 ****So.

It arrived today. I think Dad must’ve put an express on It, because It got here faster than I figured.

I gotta say, though, I am not all that happy with It.

Dad had the brilliant idea that I, because I am a miserable, friendless emo kid, required a pet to brighten my day and make me feel better about myself. Not _exactly_ that, but some psychological mumbo-jumbo like it.

He had and has no idea that I’ve got Finnian to take care of, and consequently, he couldn’t have picked a worse pet for me to keep along with him.

No, It’s not a cat, not something _nearly_ that normal; I could deal with this better if It _were_ a cat.

Dad decided to send me a _snake_ to keep my pet rat company, not _just_ a snake, either: a King Cobra, one of the most poisonous snakes in the world.

Gah.

I haven’t named the thing yet, nor have I touched It: no, thank you. The Jackbots handled It since It got here this morning, but apparently, It’s a five-year-old male, perfectly healthy and _very_ poisonous.

Yippee skip: my excitement is palpable.

But, here’s the thing that’s really making me nervous about this reptile: It’s got all these really strange markings that look like runes, and on a whim, I ran a body-scan scan of It (from a distance, I assure you), and apparently, It's _soaked_ in magic.

I can’t be totally sure since I’m still running an analysis on Its markings, but my rudimentary guess is that the damn thing’s a Naga.

Thanks, Dad, just what I needed to top that last gift: a magical half-snake creature of a species that’s highly-poisonous and entirely capable of killing a human in a single bite, Its neurotoxins having a mortality rate of 75%.

Of course, you can just imagine how freaked out Finnian was when I had it brought down to the lab; poor little fella practically had a heart-attack!

But, at the moment, It is being pretty complacent and doesn’t seem to mind that It’s in a high-security, (for the most part, since I can’t _totally_ make a perfect one as of yet) magic-proof containment unit. I can’t imagine why, but then again, King Cobras are a lot of times used by female, Burmese snake-charmers (hence the ‘very nice lady’ Dad got it from), so maybe he was trained to be good for the most part.

That, or maybe he’s hungry and thinks I’ll eventually feed him Finnian if he’s good enough. Since I’ve been down here, Fin’s cage has been on a lab table across from Its maximum-security tank, and It’s been staring at him for just as long.

Fin is so damn scared he can’t even move; completely disregarding the fact that It’s at _least_ twenty feet away and locked up pretty tight.

I really should take him back upstairs and try to help him relax, but…I don’t know if I should leave this thing alone down here: who _knows_ what It’ll do when it knows I’m not watching it!

Hmm…alright, I guess I could get some of my more powerful Jackbots (mostly-untested, so I haven’t brought them to a Showdown yet) to watch It for the rest of the night while I take care of Finnian and maybe get some sleep…

That should work: the new bots have laser-cannons, improved senses, and a whole mess of other features, along with a form of AI that lets them ‘think’ to a very minimal extent, just enough to keep them from getting destroyed as easily as the other ones. Yeah, it’ll be fine, at least for tonight.

As for me, I’ve got a half-petrified rat to loosen up. To the Dr. Two-Brains origin-episode!


	35. 2/4/09

**2/4/09-**

 ****Whole…huge fiasco last night. I’m fucking tired and _really_ don’t want to go into it, but I know if I don’t write about it now, I’ll block it out and won’t be _able_ to write about it later, so here goes.

Snakey McSonuvabitch got out of his cage; turns out my bots weren’t _quite_ enough to keep him at bay, even with his magic mostly-blocked by the containment unit.

Have to work on that, later, but really, I don’t think anybody can blame me. How the fuck am I supposed to handle something as magical as a Naga on _extremely_ short notice and with only resources equipped for basic enchantment nullification? If I had a month or two to prepare, get some better components and build some better machines, _maybe_ , but as it is…

A whole _clusterfuck_.

So, the little bastard got out, royally fucked up my apparently- _too_ -untested bots and then went after me.

I’d probably be dead right now if Chase didn’t decide to save my ass; probably just because we have a deal going on and he would have, in a really convoluted way, broken it by letting me die before he at least got me another Wu, but I’m grateful anyways.

In any case, a whole bunch of shit happened that was pretty much an adrenaline-fueled blur of ‘holy fuck,’ but the result of it all was that I got the Tongue of Saiping from Chase and, by figuring out the Naga’s name (Negriss; thanks for the hint, Chase!), we’re at a stalemate in which he doesn’t go after me so long as I don’t go after him.

That’s really all I need out of the scaly fucking _belt_.

I talked to him for a minute after the truce-thing, and since he has no easy way of getting back to Burma, he’ll be staying with me from now on.

Yeah…sucks, but if I’d said no, he probably would have taken that as a declaration of war upon him and I’d get my veins pumped full of neurotoxin: _do not want_.

Our barely-civil conversation was cut off when Fin starting cussing me out via Tongue of Saiping; I won’t go too much into it, but suffice it to say the word ‘assclown’ was thrown about quite a lot. Seems he was unhappy with being put into the position of being stared at by Naga-boy all day.

I didn’t mean to put him there, though! I only realized it after he’d been there for, like, three hours; so sue me for being distracted by the fact that there was a Naga in my goddamn house and I was totally unprepared to keep him under sufficient lock and key!

But, he forgave me after a good dosage of puppy eyes; works (almost) every time.

So, it’s late afternoon, now; I left my room to get Fin one of the cupcakes from the day before to calm him down sometime around 1:00 AM, and when I got back, Chase was gone, and the Naga was twined around a lamp and staring at Finnian again.

Snakey little creep.

I decided to move Fin’s cage in light of that, where Negriss couldn’t find it; I then, of course, realized that that was impossible, so I just decided to carry him around with me at all times.

That way, he can’t attack _me_ because he’s bound by that whole magicky deal not to unless I ‘declare war on him,’ and even though Fin isn’t me, he’s in close enough proximity to me that attacking him would essentially be attacking me.

Best I’ve got at the moment, really.

I only managed to get, like, three hours of sleep at best last night, so I really should be tired by now, but…I’m not. Then again, maybe I’m just rattled from the whole huge fiasco and too nerved up to sleep, even though that was, like, six hours ago.

So…I’ve started working with the Tongue of Saiping. Fin’s hanging out in my pocket in case Snakey McSonuvabitch decides to slither down into the lab and pull something.

But, so far, this one’s another pretty easy one. I mean, it's not _easy_ -easy, but it’s not as difficult as the matter-shifter by any means. Most animals’ brains vibrate on similar frequencies, only varying a little bit between species, so I just have to come up with something that can convert the human voice into a sound on that frequency and at the same time be able to ‘translate’ the telepathic frequency of the animal onto the human brain wave so I can both talk to and understand other animals.

I figure two, three days tops.

Gah, I’m really paranoid about Negriss roaming around my house totally unsupervised. I need to up my surveillance so I don’t lose track of him again.

I may not be able to keep him in one place, but I want to at least be able to keep tabs on where the fuck he is.

Well, in any case, Finnian’s a lot more chill than he was now that he’s figured out the logic of being kept on me at all times, so that’s good. Snake-boy’s still slithering about some place, but since he can’t do anything seriously fucked up to me or Fin, I’ll have to let it go for the moment.

I guess I just have to keep working on the Tongue of Saiping; not like there’s much else I can do.

Fuck my life...


	36. 2/5/09

**2/5/09-**

 ****Today wasn’t a _totally_ horrible day, though weird.

There was a Showdown over something; I didn’t go because it was _way_ too early and I was catching up on some sleep (of which I was so cruelly deprived yesterday).

Still a little freaked about the Naga lurking around my house.

I know we’re at a stalemate kind of thing and he can’t really do anything to me, but it’s still unnerving to know he’s around somewhere.

I was scrounging in the kitchen with Fin for some food this morning when all of a sudden, the thing pops up out of nowhere like, “O Y HALLO THAR.”

I’m surprised Finnian didn’t literally fall off my head. Furthermore, I’m surprised _I_ didn’t fall over _period_.

We bantered back and forth for awhile about whether Cheez-Its were an acceptable breakfast item while Fin desperately tried to _become_ my hair.

In any case, judging by the conversation we had, Mr. Snake is quite snarky.

So that went on for about five minutes when I asked, rather politely, if he would consent to stop staring at me because it was seriously goddamn freaky.

He then proceeded to inform me, quite _im_ politely, that I shouldn’t flatter myself and that he was looking at ‘that tasty little morsel,’ indicating Finnian.

Poor guy about died of fright, but I grabbed him and put him in my pocket where he couldn’t be stared at; I think he appreciated that.

This, apparently, removed all interest Negriss had in remaining there, and he slithered off someplace else.

I maintain that he is a little creep.

I got back to working on the ToS v2 after the Cheez-It breakfast (take _that_ , Snake-boy: I ate ‘em anyway!) and I’m pretty much done at this point.

I went for an ear-piece/mouth-piece combo kind of thing: there’s the one part that goes in the ear (the ear-piece, obviously) that can convert all mammalian and most reptilian (not amphibians, yet) brain waves into sound that the human brain can interpret as language and there’s a piece that attaches to the roof of the mouth and converts human sounds into the general frequency that all animals can understand as they’re being spoken.

Now I just need to take amphibians and the rest of the reptiles into account with the animal-to-human conversion, and it’ll be about done! w00t!

In any case, I’ll be keeping a closer eye on Finnian until I can get the surveillance system adapted to watch the snake better: I’m not letting some magic, scaly _belt_ eat _my_ damn pet.


	37. 2/6/09

**2/6/09-**

 ****Done!

So, I managed to fix the ToS v2 so that the ENTIRE reptile and amphibian kingdoms should be able to translate flawlessly with it based on how the original works, so as Queen might say, “Another one bites the dust!”

It’s…sometime around afternoon right now. Negriss hasn’t _graced_ me with his presence yet, so I consider the day a success so far.

Still edgy with him lurking around, _especially_ with how close the surveillance is to being updated by my builder-drones but STILL NOT YET THERE.

Oh, right, I’ve never written about my builder-drones before: basically, they make the really easy things that don’t need much higher-thinking; like, _I_ only programmed the advanced software to keep track of Negriss’ magic for the cameras while _they’ve_ been going around and installing it everywhere around the house.

The only reason it’s taken so long and continues to do so is that there’s not all that many of them (about ten to twelve), and there’s a veritable crapload of practically-nanite cameras scattered around the house.

In the meantime, while they’re working, I think I’m going to bring the original Tongue of Saiping back to Chase. It’ll give me a chance to get out of the house for the first time in days, something that’s _infinitely_ more appealing with the Naga slithering around in it, and it should kill about the right amount of time until I can actually keep track of said Naga.

Think I’ll take Finnian, too; wouldn’t want him to turn into dinner, after all!


	38. 2/7/09

**2/7/09-**

 ****So, yesterday was…unexpected.

I went to give Chase the Tongue of Saiping back along with a spare for him to have. Demonstrated it really quick by chatting with his black jaguar (named Diol, apparently; he’s not a bad guy-er, _cat_ , believe it or not); speaking of the ToS v2, I’m rethinking the mouth-piece a bit. It works, but the taste of metal is a little strong, and it’s just a _little_ bit bulky. I’m thinking I might convert it into an small ultra-thin, bacteria-resistant plastic sheet that can attach to the roof of the mouth like the original. That way, it’d be more sanitary _and_ more convenient/comfortable. I’ll work on it in my spare time.

Anywho, after all that…Chase invited me to stay for dinner. _Invited_ , as in _actually wanted me to hang around for awhile._.

Fuck yes! Milestone, anyone?

I mean, yeah, I was so stunned by the request that I made a total idiot out of myself, but… *cough, cough* He didn’t dwell on it too overly long, so I’m just going to pretend it never happened!

In any case, we had dinner (which was a lot less awkward than one would think) and we started talking more in-depth about the Wu project. Chase decided we should nail down a solid list of them in the order they’d be replicated, and that sounded like a good idea to me, so we did.

Sapphire Dragon is an UBER no: a big, out of control dragon that thinks on its own, turns everyone to sapphire statues that become moveable, mind-controlled puppets?

Do not want.

As for the Ring of Nine Dragons…I didn’t really plan on replicating it in the first place (just _thinking_ about figuring out how to make clones that aren’t in permanent existence makes my head spin!), but I asked Chase’s opinion anyways. He seemed to be trying to steer me away from that one, THANK GOD, meaning I won’t have to deal with brain-explody difficulty.

Seriously, time-travel and matter-conversion are one thing. Making genetic replicas that actually _have_ corporeal form (i.e., _not_ a hologram and/or illusion) that can be returned to the original genetic organism once their purpose is served?

OW.

Unfortunately, he was also kind of steering me away from the Monkey Staff (WANT; SO MUCH WANT), or if not away, then he seemed…reserved about it.

I let it drop for the moment, but I’m not giving up on the Staff just yet.

Aside from that, I decided to bring up this idea I’ve been thinking about for awhile regarding the Mantis Flip Coin.

It involves biological stuff, so I was thinking I’d have to work with Ashley ( _hate_ that crazy cat-bitch, but…necessity, and all) to do it. We could figure out how to reproduce it together and then I figured we could incorporate it into something like stem cell research, but without the controversy which, honestly shouldn’t exist considering that in the period of time when stem cells are totipotent and actually able to become ANY kind of specialized cell, there isn’t actually an organism present: just a group of cells that haven’t yet come together to form organs or even any kind of living being.

Gah, I’m gonna stop before I get all uppity about the religious fanatics that would rather have _real_ people living crippled and deprived of an actual _life_ than a nonhuman, collection of cells used to fix them.

In any case, I figured we (Ashley and I since she’s helping, but I’m not budging on my 60-40 stance for sharing the profits) could market our version of the Mantis Flip Coin to the medical industry as miracle drug.

 _Crippled? Have Spinal Bifida? Take a shot of Mantis Juice!_

Then I was thinking maybe, _behind_ cat-bitch’s back, of course, that I could sell it on the black market, too. Of course, the pitch would have to be a little different…

 _Want to be a better Olympic Athlete without endless training? Pole Vault your ass out to Mars! MANTIS (all rights reserved; if you get caught, you’re on your own, bitch!)._

But overall, Chase seemed to like the idea and suggested, when we get around to the Mantis Flip Coin, that I should definitely run with it and if Katnappé is at all opposed to helping out, he’ll put in a good word for me.

So after that, we just wandered around his place for awhile. He was asking me personal questions, which had me creeped out and I was SURE that any second he’d kiss me and I’d wake up or that I’d never left the house in the first place and Negriss had somehow gone back on his agreement in order to bite/kill me in my sleep, thereby sending me to Heaven.

Which would’ve sucked, ‘cause I’m not totally done living just yet.

But, it was real (I think), though I _did_ start to wonder when Finnian popped out of my pocket and started crawling on Chase’s shoulder _which he allowed_!

I about DIED of cute when Fin curled up in his hair and curled up for a nap: _SO CUTE_.

Of course, he got rather pissy at me for fangirling about it. I refuse to repeat his words in mixed company.

Still, I’m jealous: _he_ gets to touch Chase’s hair. If _I_ even _attempted_ it, I’d probably be crippled for life if not immediately killed.

That’s another MASSIVE _WANT_ : it looks so soft and silky and _awesome_! *sigh* Maybe someday…

Seriously, though, this whole things is a HUGE step in our…well, relationship doesn’t sound like the right word…this is a huge step in our _acquaintance_ because it means that I am apparently no longer _completely_ intolerable to him.

I has a major happy!

Aside from all that, I’ve got my new Wu: the Golden Tiger Claws. I’m no stranger to spatial relations, so I figure only a _little_ longer than the ToS v2 took; four, five days of work tops.

Work, might I add, that will be much safer than before now that I’ve returned home to a fully-updated security system that was specifically designed for keeping watch over the sneaky, magical snake in my damn house.

Haven’t seen him, yet, but according to surveillance, he’s mostly been lurking around my room, more specifically Finnian’s cage. Last I checked, he was napping there.

Somehow, I’m beginning to get the feeling that Negriss isn’t just after Fin as a snack. I know that sounds weird, but I mean…King Cobra’s diet consists mainly of other snakes (he’s already eaten a python that I gave him since he’s been here, so he’s probably good for the rest of the month), and yet he’s still got some…obsession with Finnian despite the fact that he _can’t_ still be hungry after _that_ huge motherfucker he nommed.

I think I’m going to watch him _really_ extra-carefully from now on. I’m probably just being crazy thinking what I’m thinking, but…just in case.

Oh. Right.

I just remembered the latest letter from Dad that I got today. Apparently, he’s taking a quick break from his latest expedition to come visit me for Valentine’s Day.

Goddamn him. I mean, I get that he’s trying to be a good dad and hang out with me and everything, but to start all of a sudden after years of ignoring me when I’d actually _wanted_ him around?

That sucks.

Not to mention the way he’s going about it! He’s sending me pets (in which he has _terrible_ taste) and gifts to try and bribe-win me over, and whenever he actually shows up, it’s always to drag me into fun activities that ‘boys my age really _should_ be doing!’

He’s trying to fucking _fix_ me. Goddamn him…

Really, the fact that he’s visiting on _Valentine’s Day_ , just going right ahead and assuming that because I’m a gothy freak, I don’t have a date (I don’t, but that’s not the point!) is just a total dick-move, and I bet he didn’t even consider that when he did it.

Fuck.

In any case, you’ll have to excuse me: I have to start working on my GTC replica while simultaneously trying to figure out how to get Negriss to cooperate while Dad visits and act like a normal snake, hopefully not killing him, either.

Then again…maybe I should just settle for the ‘cooperate and act like a normal snake for a couple of days’ part of the deal. At least it would cut down on the number of horrible, nightmarish incidents caused by the supernatural objects/creatures he apparently insists on sending me.


	39. 2/8/09

**2/8/09-**

 ****So, today: not bad.

No Showdowns, no _new_ magical entities mailed to me against my will, nothing terribly wrong occurring.

Y’know, except for the man who might as well have walked out of one of my wet dreams walking in on me exiting the shower.

God dammit…

Earlier today, I had started working on the GTC v2; made some good progress in that I got the concrete formulas for opening up and closing traversable wormholes (the kind of wormhole where things can go in one end and out the other unharmed). That wasn’t too hard considering I’d done most of that already when I built my time-machine ages ago, but this time, I had to edit it so that the time would remain relatively the same (obviously, I don’t want to use the replica to go to the store for some milk and then end up in the grocery store, but twenty years later).

Basically, I just had to switch the configuration of the formulas for time and then location so that the wormhole would take the user to a different location in the same time period as opposed to the time-machine, which takes the user to a different time period but in the same location.

Of course, it was more complicated than that, but that’s the ‘dumbed down’ gist of it.

Back to the topic at hand!

So I was working on the mathematics before actually going into the blueprinting and then building processes when I happened to realize, in addition to my hand and wrist cramping like a sonuvabitch from all the furious scribbling I’d been doing for at least a solid hour, that I had not taken a shower since yesterday morning. Since I stopped gelling it, my hair's gotten into the habit of becoming oily and greasy fairly quickly, so now if I don’t wash it daily, I look like I just dumped a gallon of hair gel onto it, ruffled my fingers through it, and then left it limp.

Suffice it to say: YUCK.

So, recalling that, I grabbed Finnian (can’t leave him alone with Snakey-boy prowling about anxiously looking for him, and all) and headed upstairs to shower.

Encountered Negriss on the way up, actually, who essentially told me I looked like a greaseball and to release the ‘delicious-looking rodent’ to him immediately. I retorted with something to the effect of ‘at least I’m not a _slime_ ball like you’ followed up with a, ‘hell no,’ and continued up the stairs.

He slithered off somewhere, probably to vandalize something in my room (he’s already wrecked my alarm clock and somehow, magically I assume, ruined about half the trench coats I own with severe water damage; damn him and such).

So, I went to take a shower, and Fin asked to be placed in the medicine cabinet because it should keep him out of sight and block his scent with all the medicines and lotions and such in there, in that way keeping Negriss from finding him.

That, and I don’t believe he was too keen on seeing me nude.

 _I’ve_ been dealing with _his_ nudity from Day 1, but do _I_ get the courtesy of getting to hide in the medicine cabinet? No! (LOL, seriously, though, I kid.)

Anywho, I thought it was a pretty good idea, so I dropped him off in there behind some painkillers (which I desperately used to need after Showdowns but haven’t in a long time) and some sun-block SPF a-really-high-number.

So, I shower, wash my hair, all that…

…and then I get out to find Chase there in my bathroom.

Awkward turtle DOES NOT cover that moment; not even CLOSE.

I managed to snag my bathrobe _really_ quick, but I’m almost positive he saw _something_.

Screw.

But, after a few seconds of awkward staring at each other, I _somehow_ managed to convey through the embarrassment the point that I was going to go dry off and get dressed and by the time I got back, we would pretend that never happened.

That was about ten minutes ago. I just figured I should jot this down really quick because it’s given me a couple more minutes to think about what I’m gonna say to him when I actually go back out there.

My strategy at the moment is not mentioning the fact that he more than likely saw more of me than he had any desire to and hope like crazy he doesn’t, either.

Rudimentary strategy, but it's all I’ve got.

I think I’ve stalled long enough, though; I should go see what he wants.

I wonder what he _does_ want?


	40. 2/9/09

**2/9/09-**

 ****Today has been relatively uneventful.

Turns out, yesterday, Chase was just checking up on my progress, and since he didn’t bring up the fact that he caught me nude, I didn’t bother to bring it up, either, so as far as I’m concerned, IT DID NOT HAPPEN.

In any case, I’ve managed to get some stuff done, despite the fact that Negriss has been lurking around in the lab the _moment_ he figured out that’s where I’ve been going and taking Finnian.

The way he’s acting is just augmenting the theory I’ve got going about him, but I won’t accuse him until I’ve got conclusive evidence.

Either way, he can’t touch me, so as long as I keep Fin close, there’s no touching _him_ , either, even if he can verbally harass the poor guy.

Seriously, Negriss has been teasing him about hiding on me all day, and Fin’s all tense about it, but I can’t make him stop without physically doing something to him, and since that would almost certainly come off as a declaration of war, I can’t exactly do that.

Better Finnian get teased and I feel sucky about it than the both of us get poisoned to death or worse.

But! I’ve been working pretty much all day; I haven’t really paused for anything more than bathroom breaks and calling a bot over to send some munchables down for nomming.

I’ve taken a couple breaks from the GTC, but only to backtrack and… _edit_ , I guess, my ToS v2 to what I’d wanted it to be.

I managed to get that done (and sent a copy of the new mouthpiece to Chase along with quickly-scribbled instructions on how to attune the new part to the same frequency as the earpiece he already has so that they’ll be compatible with each other), but as far as the GTC, I’m thinking I’m _definitely_ going to need another couple of days to finish.

I mean, when I built my time-machine way back when, it took me a whole goddamn _month_. At least three weeks of that were spent figuring out the mathematical aspect of it, granted, and now that I’ve already got those for the most part, I can take off that amount, but…

That still leaves me with, maybe, a week?

I might be able to speed it up a little bit considering I was actually still going to _school_ during the time-machine building, but still. Awhile.

I’ve talked to Fin, and he agreed to tell me when it starts getting late, but as it is, I’m gonna keep working on the GTC v2 and try to get as much done tonight as possible.


	41. 2/10/09

**2/10/09-**

 *****excited squeal*

…I suppose I should explain that, huh? Well, gladly!

So, today, I was in the middle of taking the mathematic formulas I’d figured out and making the circuitry that’s going to operate the GTC v2 when my Wu alarm went off (scaring the veritable crap out of Negriss who’d never heard it before, thereby getting a vindictive squeak out of Finnian).

I considered skipping it like I did the last one, but I figured I could use a break, ‘cause my brain was just about fried on intensive thinking, so I grabbed Fin and headed off to the latest Showdown, apparently somewhere in Kentucky.

A fun time was had by me! Not so much for the monks ( _especially_ not for Dojo), but their misery is comparable to my enjoyment, so who cares about the rest?

In any case, I snuck up on them with the Shroud of Shadows (my version at least), tripped Kimiko so that she fell flat on her face (not all that big a loss, if you ask me) and grabbed the Wu when she dropped it.

It looked like a horse-shoe, one that's never been used 'cause it was made of this _really_ shiny gold; like _ridiculously_ shiny. Probably some kind of good luck charm, I'd guess.

Still, you should’ve seen the look on _all_ of their faces when I whipped off the new Shroud and, when they started in with the goody-goody banter, flipped them off!

Dojo was more pissed off than the rest of them (probably because I was corrupting Omi’s mind with such a rude gesture or some BS) and he tried to get in my face about how I was a nasty little boy and such.

He pretty much knocked that off when Finnian popped out of my collar and chomped almost all the way through his tail (he was still tiny-formed).

I was almost positive I was gonna get some flack for having him around (i.e., ‘how fitting that I’ve got a rat for a pet ‘cause I’m a rat, too! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha: so funny.’), but before they could, Chase showed up.

He didn’t waste all that much time with small talk and basically told me that the Wu I’d won was, for once, important, and that he wanted it.

Here’s the awesome part: he didn’t demand it from me; he didn’t beat me up to take it…

He _asked_ me for it. Relatively politely, may I add!

Naturally, I handed it over without a fight. After all, what do I need with the damn thing anyway? No matter _how_ lucky it is, I’ve got my hands full with Negriss, Dad visiting in only four days, _and_ the Wu project. Besides, I bet Chase can put it to better evil use: he’s had more time to become evil than I have, and even at my best (which I am certainly not at the moment with all that’s on my plate), he could think of a _way_ more evil use for a luck-charm than I could.

Anywho, though…here’s a _basic_ summary of what happened from there:

Me: Here you go, Chase! *hands super-shiny-horseshoe-of-blindiness over*

Chase: Thank you, Spicer. *is gone*

Monks: WTF?

Dojo: *is bleeding from the tail and cursing at Finnian in what I assumed to be a _very_ old language*

Finnian: LOL, you fail, gecko!

Me: Alright, I’m bored with this now. See ya’ later, losers, thxkbai! *leaves*

Monks: Still WTF?

Dojo: *still bleeding, cursing louder*

But, yeah, good day! I’m back home now and I’ve picked back up with the circuitry stuff, but I’m still nowhere _near_ being ready to start on the mechanism the GTC v2 will take (i.e., what’ll take the place of claws in the replica). I’m thinking a _pair_ of _gloves_ instead of just the one set of pointy claws; more convenient and less chance of taking someone’s eye out.

Welp, I’d best get to it! The sooner I get done with this, the sooner I can try to reach an agreement with Negriss that involves normal snake behavior on the fourteenth and, if it can at all be avoided, no poisoning and/or eating my dad.


	42. 2/11/09

**2/11/09-**

 ****Gah…so…things aren’t going so hot at the moment.

First of all, I got a letter from Dad this morning that said, in short, to expect a lovely young lady that was _dying_ to meet me. That, of course, means he’s trying to fix me up with some airheaded chick and that this Valentine’s visit is all just a half-baked scheme to get me to shack up with some well-bred bitch and make babies. He’s probably got some excuse about wanting me to be happy and that clearly, since I’m such a weirdo and fail at life, I _need_ his help to live my life.

I…I get that he’s trying, but he’s _failing_. _Miserably._

Then, after that I tried to take my mind off of my impending doom of having to pretend I’m interested in Prada or…or Facebook, or…what the devil do teenage girls care about these days? Myspace…I don’t know, I’m not really as up on the cultural trends as a teenager my age should be.

Technological trends, definitely: I _love_ keeping track of those, ‘cause it's fun to see what people are losing their collective shit over as the most advanced technology on the planet and then looking over my shoulder to see the same thing, five years old, sitting on my lab table like, ‘Ohhh, yeah, _that_ old thing!’

It's good to be a total fucking genius.

BUT. Back to the disappointing facts of today: so I started working on the GTC again, the circuitry/programming, and _just_ as I was almost done, wouldn’t you know it that fucking Pedrosa decides I should be paid a visit and, without even a ‘Howdy do,’ uses his wind powers to blow the main circuit board out of my hand and as hard as was possible against a wall.

I doubt he knew what it was or how _fucking important_ to my current work at the moment, but he couldn’t have picked a more unfortunate target for me. I _had_ been ahead of schedule and would’ve finished…tomorrow, actually, but now that I’ve gotta start _all_ over on that part again, I’ll be lucky to finish before Dad arrives with my ‘prospective bride.’

Either way, that’s all he did; the bastard didn’t say a word to me, just broke in, busted the circuit board, _glared daggers_ at me, and left.

Weirdo.

Anyways, I didn’t want to restart that component again right away (my brain protested the idea vehemently because last it checked, the work was almost done and it hated the thought of starting over again, _at least_ not so soon). So…I had the bright idea that this might be an opportune time to look for Negriss and try to strike a bargain with him.

No dice.

He wants no part of playing nice for Dad on his own and there’s nothing I can tempt him with that won’t result in a dead-or-possibly-worse Finnian, so unless I hand Fin over to him, he fully intends to do as he pleases when the fourteenth rolls around and, should Dad just so happen to get in his way, he’s more than likely gonna be dead.

Son of a bitch…I could probably really use that Super-Shiny-Horseshoe-of-Blindiness about now…

Well…there’s really nothing left for me to do at this point. Y’know, unless I wanna make my life ten times worse by even _trying_ to fix one of the things that went wrong or build on them.

I think I’m just going to go to bed.


	43. 2/12/09

**2/12/09-**

 ****More stuff happened to me yesterday after I ‘went to bed.’

Just as I was getting ready for bed, Diol and a tiger I’d never seen before (apparently named Bella) suddenly showed up in my room.

Apparently, Chase had gotten the note I sent mentioning the delay in the GTC v2 because of Rai and decided that, in order to keep his lending of Wu to a minimum, both I and the project in general should be protected at all costs.

With them there, I didn’t really feel comfortable going to bed, so I used the Tech Tongue of Saiping to chat with them a little bit.

At the very least, I found out that, before Chase, Diol was an Aztec warrior of the jaguar-class (fitting he’s an _actual_ jaguar now) and Bella was an Indian warrior-princess. Bella, at least, didn’t keep her original name from back then; makes a lot more sense, ‘cause Bella is an Italian name, not Indian, so I was confused at first.

Anywho…after the origin stories, Rai came back to pay me another visit, only this time instead of just for some inexplicable reason mad at me, he was _pissed_ ; like 'attempt homicide' pissed.

And me without my matter-shifter to defend myself!

I guess one of the cats must’ve called Chase, ‘cause he was there all of a sudden and then Latin lover-boy started screeching at him louder than I’ve _ever_ heard Wuya do about something or other. A lot of it was in angry Portuguese, which I never _did_ get around to mastering, but when he was speaking Chinese, he got sort of confusing.

He was talking to Chase about being _dumped_ , and in the process, he called me an ‘ugly, desperate floozy’.

I _may_ be desperate, goddammit, but I’ve been toning it down _a lot_ lately! And I’m not _that_ ugly! I mean, I don’t have acne or a crazy amount of moles, or strange facial hair…

God, I’m off-track again.

So, eventually, Chase shooed him away, and, by that point in their argument, I pretty much had the main point gleaned from it: apparently, Chase was… _involved_ with Rai…like, sexually, and somehow Rai’d gotten the idea that Chase was cheating on him with me.

Don’t I fucking _wish_!

I’m gonna be honest, though, it was…a little bit shocking.

 _Chase_ with _Rai_? I mean, I don’t expect the guy to be shacking up with me all of a sudden, but I figured him to at least have better taste than _that_!

After that, though, I guess Chase must have noticed that my brain had stopped completely due to shock-overload, because the next thing I knew, I was in the kitchen and he was shoving a cup of tea into my hands.

I’m ashamed to say it, but I think I blacked out from the sheer ‘WTF’ of it all, which would explain why I don’t remember walking into the kitchen with him _or_ the point when tea was made.

But anywho…we had tea and cookies for awhile (the cookies I’d made during my baking spree from a week or so back), and…well, I guess we _hung out_. I really don’t know what else to call it. We had a casual conversation over the midnight version of brunch. Chase even explained that he was definitely not _dating_ Rai, just fucking him and inadvertently (somehow) giving the dude the wrong idea, which made a _hell_ of a lot more sense than that they’d been dating.

At some point, I started bitching about the whole Valentine’s Day fiasco that’s fast-approaching and out of nowhere, he offered to let me have dinner with him (like we did before) on that night as a way to get out of all the crap that my Dad is bringing about with his visit.

I’m gonna admit that when I figured out that Chase had been fucking (if not in a relationship with) Rai, I was…jealous. Hurt, even. I mean, how many fucking times have I daydreamed about the guy, put my ass on the line for him, and offered him a veritable _shower_ of compliments when all this Xiaolin loser has to do to get his attention is _be_ there? Ouch, Chase.

But…I’m feeling better about it now. Clearly, Raimundo Pedrosa has been stone-cold _dumped,_ and as it stands, I, instead, have got a dinner-date with Chase on Valentine’s Day (only technically, I guess, but again, who gives a fuck about semantics?).

I swear to God, it’s some kind of sign: it _has_ to be.

But all that was last night, in any case. Today, I’ve have been getting shit _done_.

Turns out the fact that Chase can actually stand to be in the same room with me for a good hour and, at the end of said hour, invite me to be in the same room with him again at a later date is a kick-ass motivator, because I’m just about finished with the main circuit-board for the GTC v2 (again)! I figure that, while I’m not _ahead_ of schedule like I was before, I’m at least caught up after Rai wrecked all my progress in one fell, dumbass swoop.

I’m almost _positive_ I can finish by tomorrow, and if not, then it’ll be an hour, two hours _max_ on the fourteenth.

It’s extremely late, but I’m feeling _very_ spiteful towards my 'friend' Raimundo at the moment, and so I’m going to send off this Biowar-bot I just built to infect him with something particularly nasty; I remember I was totally fucking _miserable_ when I had strep throat last year, so I’m thinking I’ll pass on _that_ little pain in the ass.

I _definitely_ has an evil!  >=D


	44. 2/13/09

**2/13/09-**

 ****I…am done.

It’s taken me _all_ day from around five this morning to now (oneish), but I’ve finally managed to finish up the GTC gloves.

They’re pretty neat-looking, if I do say so myself: they’re black and they’ve got gold plating on the fingers (the same kind of gold as the original GTC used; just as a tie-in) that ends in claws. The claws contain the main mechanism of traversable wormhole-making so they still work the same as the GTC in that it _rips_ open the portal, but I think it's more convenient with that function on _two_ hands as opposed to just one, which could be helpful if someone’s after you; you know, use one to open a portal to safety and the other to open a portal to _anywhere_ else and shove whoever’s chasing you into that one while you escape in the first one.

But…getting all that done so quick after having to start over has taken a _lot_ out of me. I’m not even writing this myself, I’m dictating to a Jackbot as I embark upon my arduous quest to reach my bedroom despite the fact that I’m practically dead on my feet.

Agh, when the _hell_ did all these stairs get here?!

Sonuvabitch…

Well, at least Dad’s not gonna be here tomorrow after I managed to convince him I had a date. He said that the young lady I was supposed to meet would be ‘very disappointed,’ and that he would be taking a detour in some city a couple miles from here to see the sights and _then_ come visit, but only by himself. Maybe by then I can convince him that we shouldn’t spend the day in the musty old house with the killer, magical snake in it and go outside somewhere, _anywhere_ , in fact.

I should probably be bringing the GTC back to Chase now that I’m finished with it, but…holy _Hell_ , there’s no way. I’m fucking exhausted.

Besides…it’d be better to just get some sleep so I don’t have terribly-noticeable bags under my eyes for my date tomorrow, and since I’m seeing him anyways, I can just give back the Wu at dinner.

In any case: going to bed, am not to be disturbed for at _least_ nine hours, and Jackbot, stop taking dictation and get the fuck out of my room.


	45. 2/14/09

**2/14/09-**

 ****It’s sometime around midnight.

I'm extremely tired and apparently only just now getting home.

I've only got one thing to write in here at the moment.

 _WOW._


	46. 2/15/09

**2/15/09-**

 *****ahem*

So…dinner last night…it, uh….it went pretty well. _Extremely_ well, as a matter of fact. Chase…um, I…we… Well, let’s just put it this way:

I have learned, in explicit detail, how Chase Young likes his dick sucked.

Yeeaahh…But, uh, back to the beginning.

So, the day went pretty normal for awhile. Got up mid-afternoon after the near all-nighter I pulled trying to get the Tech GTCs fixed, had a late breakfast, watched TV for an hour or so, and then decided to go rummaging through my closet to figure out what to wear to Chase’s.

I couldn’t wear my usual trench coat because Negriss has gotten me down to two of them, and both of them happened to be dirty and in the wash, and the rest of my outfit doesn’t really look good without the coat.

Eventually, I settled on a long-sleeved, v-neck shirt, dark red, that I found in the back of my closet and based the rest of my outfit around that. The shirt was cashmere, so it was soft, but it was pretty thin, so I brought along a wool overcoat, too. I decided that jeans and boots don’t really go with cashmere in the slightest, so I opted for dress slacks and shoes; they were black, along with the coat. The shirt was the only thing I was wearing that had color.

I haven’t gelled my hair in months with Finnian having taken to napping in it, so I didn’t start back up again, and, on a random whim, I decided not to put on any eyeliner.

I didn’t really _feel_ like putting it on.

Luckily, when I got there (Fin in tow, of course), I wasn’t out of place or overdressed, because Chase was wearing something aside from the usual, too. He was wearing about as much black as I was (silk, if I had to guess), with gold trim, and holy _Hell_ does that man look hot in black!

I was internally shocked I didn’t start drooling at the very sight of him.

But so, I got there, we did the Wu trade (the GTC for the Third Arm Sash, since that one was next in line), and I showed off the Tech GTC, along with letting him give them a try.

Apparently, he likes them, and during dinner, I was essentially commissioned to make an extra pair for him, only in dark green. I’ve been working on that for a lot of today, but back to this.

So…we had dinner. There were CHOCOLATE-COVERED STRAWBERRIES. I have not had them in _way_ too long: want. _So much want._

But yeah, dinner got awkward when Chase decided we should only talk about things unrelated to technology, the monks, or Shen Gong Wu…

…of which I have almost no knowledge whatsoever.

I really only know cartoons and weird animal facts aside from all the aforementioned topics that were forbidden, and I sincerely doubted Chase would be interested in hearing about the wet dream I’d had a couple days before of Mozenrath from Aladdin and Chase fighting over me before... well, before some stuff happened…*ahem*

Yeah…my subconscious does weird things; I’m not saying it wasn’t a hot dream and, at the time, arousing as hell, but…it's not really good dinner conversation to say the least.

So…I went with the first weird animal fact I could think of, which involved anglerfish, at which point awkwardness ensued and I proceeded to say the dorkiest line possible in my defense:

Me: Uh, how much do you know about anglerfish?

Chase: I know they are fish.

Me: Well... um... anglerfish have a really odd partnership. When they want to mate, a male angler bites a female, slowly dies and shrivels to a pair of gonads and is carried around by the female until she is ready to mate with his remains.

Chase: *most shocked and grossed-out expression I have _ever_ seen him show*

Me: For God's _SAKE_ , Chase! You can't put me on the spot like this! I only _know_ tech, Shen-Gong-Wu, and the monks; I don't have a _real_ life! I couldn't figure out where to download one!

PALM: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.

I mean, he laughed a _little_ , at least, but after that, Chase decided it would be best to lift the restriction on tech, Wu, and the monks so that I wouldn’t start in with anymore creepy facts.

Oh! He complimented me on my spiting of Rai the night before, which was an extremely awesome moment for me! The Brazilian asstard is sick in bed, coughing his lungs out as I write this, so I consider the endeavor a success.

For once, so does Chase. *preens*

But we had some casual conversation and, turns out I _wasn’t_ crazy with my theory about Negriss after all. He doesn’t want to _eat_ Finnian: he wants to _fuck_ him.

Finnian, who was in my coat-pocket hanging on a coat rack, was decidedly unhappy with this, and he only freaked out more when I had the absence of mind to wonder how they would even do it with snakes having two penises.

Goddamn weird animal facts…

Weird animal facts: We’s in ur brain, ruining ur life!

Me: NUUUU!

But, so after I helped Fin to chill out, Chase made mention that he was absolutely sure of what Negriss was after because he knows what horny reptiles look like since he…*ahem* _is_ one.

He continued to say, since Rai was being an uppity bitch and he didn’t want Wuya, that he was _particularly_ horny at that moment.

Naturally, I was at a loss for what to say.

He stood up and got closer to me, so I was having a subtle ‘OMGWTF’ moment, and then he decided to accuse me of being that horny, too.

I tried to bluff my way out of it, but he was right.

I’ve never gotten outright _laid_ , and since Finnian showed up, my alone-time for masturbating about _halved_ , and it all but _disappeared_ when Negriss came into the picture and I couldn’t just ditch the poor rat somewhere to go be selfish.

And…the way Chase was talking right then…he was, like, growling and purring at the same time and _sonuvabitch_ , I’d never heard a hotter sound in my life.

Things, uh…things got a little steamy from there...

That’s about where the ‘learning how Chase likes his cock sucked’ part came in. I can’t say it was 100% pleasant, but…it made him happy, so I did it.

He henceforth returned the favor with a blowjob of my own, and goddamn, he is _good_ at it! Though, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised: he’s had _centuries_ to learn.

It was pretty much just a blur of YESPLZTHXGAWDFUCKYUS for awhile. I don’t remember everything all that clearly because of that, but I _do_ have the distinct memory of being made to come just from him touching my neck.

I swear to God, that bastard is _incredibly_ good, and don’t think he doesn’t know it, either.

In the end, though, I think I still count as a virgin. I mean, there was _definite_ sexual things going on, but, uh…he never actually… _you know_. There was…touching going on in that relative area, but no actual insertion of phallic objects…

Anywho…I woke up this morning, in my own bed, and for at least two or three hours of being awake, I could’ve sworn it was just another wet dream, but then Chase came by to return the clothing I’d left at his house and Finnian, who he’d felt would be safer with him while I was dead to the world and couldn’t really keep him out of Negriss’ way.

He left pretty quick after that; no small talk, no real acknowledgement of… _it_ …I’m intensely hoping it wasn’t just a thoughtless one-night-stand that he has no intention of ever following through with.

I’m not so stupid as to expect, because he had sex with me, that he loves me and that we’re going to get married or some other dumbass nonsense, but I wouldn’t mind a situation like Rai had: fuck-buddies.

It’s not my _ideal_ situation, but it’s a hell of a lot better than what I’ve got right now, y’know?

So, hopefully, that’s not the end of that. I _liked_ blowing Chase (even if my jaw is sore as a _mother-fucker_ right now), I _liked_ what he did to me, and I _want_ to do it again, hopefully sometime in the range of ‘before my life ends’.

So, I figured if I got his copy of the Tech GTC done soon, to be followed by the Third Arm Sash replica, I’d have a reason to go see him, get the next Wu, and maybe, hopefully, bring up the sex-situation and see if anything is going to happen with that beyond a ‘spontaneous fuck’ kind of thing.

*sigh* A technological genius’ work is never done!


	47. 2/16/09

**2/16/09-**

 ****So! Productiveness: I has it.

I’ve been making the main focus of my work today Chase’s Tech GTCs seeing as I wanted to get them to him as soon as possible to maybe serve as a ‘thank you’ present for…well, for the Hot Night of Dark Debauchery as I’ve been calling it in my head.

I figure it’d seem a little…ungrateful, to say the least, for that to have happened (something I’m entirely positive _I’ve_ wanted longer than he did) and then to just not acknowledge it _or_ him at all after the fact.

I do _not_ want to give the impression that I’m not grateful: that would almost _certainly_ mean it’d never happen again, which is a definite _do not want_ in and of itself.

So, I finished Chase’s GTC gloves (in dark green like he wanted). I picked out some really high-end leather so they look good ( _especially_ with the golden claws on the fingers) and made a _couple_ of modifications that make it better for combat situations (as I figured he might want to be able to fight while wearing them).

Taking off your gloves daintily before a confrontation only looks good when you're _very_ English and intend to slap your opponent with it in declaration of a duel.

Anywho, I managed to work in a temperature regulation system on the inside of the gloves so his hands won’t get hot or sweaty or anything and I put in a really light, durable, and above all flexible metal (that he shouldn’t even be able to feel) inside the actual fabric of it, and because of the durability, somebody could literally stab him in the hand with a steak knife and the knife would only tear the leather before folding on the metal.

I just now sent them off with a note of their specifically-added features, closed with the necessary ‘thank you’ to make it clear that improving the Tech GTCs was something I did to express my gratitude for the Hot Night of Dark Debauchery as opposed to just being a suck-up like usual and trying to get in his good graces.

Here’s hoping he likes them! *crosses fingers*

In between breaks with that, I’ve started trying to map out some work for the Third Arm Sash. It shouldn’t be _that_ hard, because it’ll be a lot like making an arm for a more humanoid robot in terms of function and the only outstanding difference is that I’ll have to figure out how to _maintain_ that functionality when the limb in question is going to be cloth and thereby thin and not able to support itself _because_ of that thinness.

I’ll figure something out, though: I’m a _genius_.

Unfortunately, I’m betting on this taking about a week and two days to finish. Conceivably, I _could_ finish it in three or four like the last Wu, but there’s gonna be a decidedly _large_ distraction impeding my progress.

Dad has called to say he’ll be here in the morning, and he’s decided he’s staying for a week.

Grah, _why_ does he decide to be a fucking parent all of a sudden when it's _hugely_ inconvenient for me to do so?!

Urgh…anyways…I’m going to keep working on the TAS so I can get done as much as I _possibly_ can tonight before I’m going to be frequently dragged outside where there is terrible, terrible light to singe my flesh off and made to do mind-numbing activities that he _should_ have done with me when I was seven instead of seventeen.

Fuck.


	48. 2/17/09

**2/17/09-**

 ****Must…commit…suicide…

I’m fucking exhausted. Seriously, I am. Dad dragged me _everywhere_ today.

So, he shows up this morning right? He gets in, I notice Negriss lurking in the shadows (likely still pissed off that I managed to avoid giving him Finnian on the fourteenth) and suggest, “Hey, Dad, how about we spend the day out somewhere?”

I had no idea how serious he’d get about it.

We went to a theater type-thing, he took me to a game (of what, I’m not sure; I wasn’t even watching it seeing as I was too busy wondering if it were possible to bash my head in, take out my brain to chew on it in a desperate attempt to alleviate the throbbing, put it back, fix my skull somehow and _not_ be dead), we went to a park and started playing football with some guys he found (why, yes, I _am_ horribly bruised, thank you for asking), and then, as the almost literal ‘icing’ on the cake, Dad picked up a random floozy and told me to use my ‘jetpack or whatever it was I had’ to go home and that he’d meet me there in a couple of hours for a game of Parcheesi and a sundae.

Guess what? I’m terrible at Parcheesi and I _hate_ sundaes that don’t at least have a banana stuck in it somewhere (it _didn’t_ , by the way).

So, I’m a veritable ragdoll on my bed right now, though my left hand appears to be working (right one’s dead, though; I laid on it when I flopped onto the bed and I _will not_ move just to use it since I’m ambidextrous anyways). Dad’s pleased with himself considering he got laid (he’s the _biggest_ manwhore; I’m surprised I don’t have any illegitimate siblings) and has indulged his duty as a father for the day.

I also lied my ass off to Negriss when I got home and told him I’d let him have Finnian for three uninterrupted hours at some point in time of my choosing if he didn’t poison my dad, so that’s not a huge issue anymore; at least not at the moment.

Here’s the _real_ suckiest thing about today, though: apparently, Chase sent me a note thanking me for the GTC gloves (he liked them!) and inviting me to come over today whenever I got back.

The way he wrote it, it came off like he might wanna… _you know_ , and I was forced to decline the invite I’d wanted since the Hot Night of Dark Debauchery _happened_ ‘cause I’m sore all over, have a headache, and am mind-bogglingly _exhausted_.

I hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way or anything; I really _want_ to see him, and I _definitely_ wouldn’t mind any more sexual stuff, but…there’s just no way tonight. No way in _Hell_.

I replied to the note in the most simplistic, honest way I could think of: “Useless tired.”

So hopefully that doesn’t come off like I’m purposefully avoiding him. I just figure I would be _crap_ in the sack as tired and sore as I am, and considering I’m a virgin in terms of full-fledged penetration sex, that’d only be _amplified_ by my complete and total lack of experience.

I didn’t go more for _his_ sake than for mine.

But, like I said, I’m exhausted. My wrist is getting sore from the writing. My bed is _so_ fucking comfortable and warm that I don’t even care that I’m not under the covers and am still fully-dressed. I’m not even gonna put away this journal.

I am just going the fuck to _sleep_ right here.


	49. 2/18/09

**2/18/09-**

 ****So. Things have happened today.

To start the day off, I woke up in bed, undressed with all my clothes folded on the floor and my goggles in their proper place, along with my journal and the pen I was writing in it with last night on the bedside table.

Weird.

At first, I thought Dad, because he’s the only other one home and he’s been getting real…fatherly lately, so I figured he might’ve done something like that to make himself feel better about the fact that this is the most he’s been around me since I was two.

But I started thinking otherwise when, this morning, he’s all packed up to go and tells me he really _should_ get back to that dig and that I seem to be doing fine on my own.

To go from tucking me in and then splitting with barely a ‘thxkbai’ doesn’t really make sense.

I started putting the pieces together, though, when I passed by Negriss on the way down to the lab (Finnian in my pocket) and he took one look at me, hissed, and slithered away faster than I’ve ever seen him slither before.

There’s only one person that I know _in the universe_ that could scare a thing like Negriss into not harassing me or trying to flirt with Finnian, and that’s Chase Young. I don’t know why or about what, but he must’ve had a _talk_ with Snakey McSonuvabitch about _something_ , ‘cause that’s the only glimpse I’ve had of the Naga all day; it’d make sense that he had a _talk_ with Dad, too, because yesterday he was all excited about spending the week and having ‘fun’ with me (actually and seriously contemplated suicide when he said that; decided against it only because it’s the coward’s way out, and I’ve decided at this point in my life that I’m done with that).

Again, I have no idea why or what Chase must’ve said to him, but I don’t really care ‘cause he’s out of the way and _not_ inadvertently making my life a living Hell, so I’m grateful.

To show my gratitude, I decided to go work on the TAS some more so I could get it back to Chase as soon as possible (he seems to respond well to promptness, so…), and I headed down to the lab, crossed paths with Negriss, all that nonsense, and picked back up with where I left off before Dad showed up.

I had managed to _at least_ nail down a solid plan for what I was going to do. I decided to do a little bit of what I did with the Shroud of Shadows and a little bit of what I did with my matter-shifter and thread nanites through the bit of cloth I’d be using as the base of the TAS v2 and have it so that they respond to a series of electric currents varying in degree by stiffening and relaxing certain parts of the cloth as needed so that it can move like a limb as it's supposed to.

I didn’t get all that far on actually making it a functional reality instead of just an idea.

I started making some more nanites, and I had my iPod hooked up to its speakers because generally, music helps me concentrate when it comes to _really-super-ultra-delicate_ projects that involve nanotechnology, and one of my favorite songs, Dance of the Manatee comes on.

I swear it has nothing to do with manatees: it’s just a title irrelevant to the actual song like ‘I Constantly Thank God for Esteban’ or ‘Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers.’

Anywho, I’m bored and it’s just me and Fin down there anyways, so I started singing along with it. Finnian likes my singing, so I didn’t even ask if it would bother him.

On a completely unrelated note, I _love_ my vocal range, ‘cause it’s huge like _whoa_ and that’s perfect for Dance of the Manatee because I can hit all the high _and_ low notes: _love_ the vocal range.

Anywho, I got towards the end of the song and, like, right before the last repetition of the chorus, the music shuts off and I’m quite abruptly bent over my lab table.

Turns out Chase likes my singing voice, too, and the bit of swaying to the music I was doing turned him on rather strongly.

I retract my ‘virgin’ comment fully now, because there is no way in _Hell_ that applies anymore. Yes, that’s right, kids, full-fledged penetration sex, many times over a long _period_ of time.

He’s bigger than me, by the way, but I expected that. I also realized at some point that he has pubic hair, which was a teensy bit odd to me as for some reason, I’ve always imagined him as bald down there. Huh.

Anywho! We fucked a couple of times in the lab (don’t worry, Finnian wasn’t scarred for life: Chase magicked him to my room before we got down to it and then later to his palace while we were doing it in there; neither were any of my newly-built nanites damaged, as they were magicked to another table), then we fucked a couple _more_ times on my bed.

I was a little…shy about getting naked in front of him because when I showered this morning, the bruises I’d gotten yesterday (which were only little reddish spots) had turned into full-blown black and purple splotches that weren’t exactly attractive.

Chase didn’t seem to mind them so much, though; I mean, I’m _positive_ he was staring at them a couple times, but he didn’t comment or put too much pressure on them when he touched me, so I pretty much forgot all about them when he actually threw me _onto_ the table and started doing this thing with his tongue…

Suffice it to say fun was had.

In any case, afterwards I was expecting him to leave right away, but he didn’t. We were laying there on my _very_ soiled sheets and I _almost_ snuggled up to him, but I stopped myself at the last second, ‘cause he doesn’t exactly seem like the post-coital cuddling type and I was and am _not_ in any way inclined to do anything he doesn’t like that might jeopardize the sex-situation.

I guess Chase noticed, because he pulled me up against him so I had no choice _but_ to snuggle with him. He really doesn’t strike me as the type for that, but I appreciated it anyways.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I just woke up around now with Chase gone and Finnian in his cage next to my bed.

I’m thinking I might go back downstairs and try to get more work done on the Tech TAS because after going to sleep in the middle of the day and waking up so late there’s no way I’m gonna get _back_ to sleep for awhile, so I might as well. I figure I should _at least_ finish building all the nanites and start on weaving them into the cloth strip before I’m tired enough to go back to sleep.

Now…where’d I put my sewing kit?


	50. 2/19/09

**2/19/09-**

 ****Somehow it was not a bad day by _any_ stretch of the imagination, despite the fact that Chase didn’t stop by for any sexing.

Since I woke up in the middle of the night, went back to bed around noon or so and woke up again around six in the evening I feel a little off-kilter with my Circadian rhythm all disoriented as it is, but I’ve made some good progress with my day…er, evening, I guess.

I managed to get where I wanted to be with the Tech TAS; _way_ easier than the Shroud of Shadows since it was a smaller piece of cloth and I didn’t have to sew as many nanites into it.

After that, I took a quick break for night-breakfast and placed an order with a sex-oriented company via internet for some lube on Chase’s suggestion yesterday when we had to make do with machine oil before he went to get his own lube. It was a large order (so there’s _no_ chance of running out any time until the year 2011), but y’know, it doesn’t much matter considering the extent with which I am a rich bitch.

Ha, that rhymed!

Anyway, I picked out some interesting varieties in lube in terms of color and flavor that I’m thinking Chase’ll like, and I even got something special for me: glow-in-the-dark lube! I doubt he’ll be as amused by it as I am, but maybe I can convince him to use it on April first (a double-whammy in terms of calling on a favor like that because it's April Fool’s Day _and_ my birthday, so odds are good I can make a case for it).

My Wu alarm went off around 8:00, but I didn’t go again. For one thing, I’ve got enough to do as it is with this Wu project and I’d like to finish as soon as possible, and on the other hand, I’m more sore than I’ve ever been in my life because of yesterday (sitting down is most _certainly_ an issue) and I couldn’t/can’t even _think_ about fighting the monks.

So I just stayed in, working on the Tech TAS with my iPod going again and, with it on Shuffle, Dance of the Manatee starts playing.

Now apparently, I got it subconsciously engraved in my head that that song means sex because I was hard in a second before I even realized it.

I asked a bot to bring Finnian to my room so I could masturbate for the first time in five or six weeks, because the coldest shower in the world wasn’t going to do shit to the boner I had and I hadn’t seen or heard from Chase all day.

I finally get what people mean when the say it’s not as good as actual sex, because it _definitely_ isn’t, but I was way too physically overworked at the moment for actual sex and at the very least, it calmed me down enough sexually so I could get back to work.

I’m thinking I may have to take Dance of the Manatee off of my iPod just so it doesn’t happen again; it’d be _really_ counter-conducive to have to stop in the middle of working on something just to beat off all the time.

But yeah, it’s starting to get to be two in the morning. I’m not tired, but I think I should go to bed anyway just to get myself back on a regular schedule.

I’ll pick back up on the TAS v2 in the morning and probably finish it sometime around late afternoon.


	51. 2/20/09

**2/20/09-**

 ****Good day!

And by that I mean it _was_ one, not that I am suddenly some kind of British and am greeting you.

So last night, I couldn’t get to sleep; like, _could not_ for the life of me do it. Chase showed up around then and before I could even say a word to him, he touched my forehead, and…

...well, I guess I was out, because I don’t remember anything after that until waking up this morning.

 _Definitely_ appreciated it, ‘cause I’m mostly back on schedule now. I woke up around 5:00 this morning, but that only means I’m off from my usual by an hour or two which is no big deal.

Anyways, after I woke up, I made myself some breakfast (I CAN has pancakes, LOL) and promptly headed down to the lab to finish up the Tech TAS, of which I’ve nothing to say but that it's done and works perfectly.

I was seriously like two seconds away from grabbing my GTC gloves and going to see Chase when _he_ decides to drop in on _me_!

We talked for all of five minutes: casual greetings, asked about the TAS, told him I was done, showed him how it worked really quick, he thanked me for the ‘show’ yesterday (apparently, he was watching me while I was beating off) and then BAM, I’m suddenly on my bed with him on top of me!

Pfft, see me complaining.

We made out and did a little groping, but I stopped him before it could go too far:

Me: Chase, wait, we can’t.

Chase: And _why_ not?

Me: The last time…well, lemme put it this way: you gave it to me _good_ and I took it _all_.

He laughed and said something along the lines of ‘just because the rollercoaster’s broken doesn’t mean they shut down the whole amusement park,’ and then he blew me, for which I returned the favor.

We pawed at each other for a little while after that, and at some point, I guess he noticed the assorted case of lube in the corner of the room (I put it on express order and waved some extra money around so that half the delivery was actually overnight), because he just sort of stopped and stared at it.

I looked and realized he had to be looking at the glow-in-the-dark lube, because there were at least three or four of those ones right in the front of the case, and I just started laughing like a maniac.

Surprisingly enough, Chase started laughing like an idiot, too, and within a minute, we were just clinging to each other and cackling our evil asses off for no good reason other than GLOW-IN-THE-DARK LUBE.

Anyways, after all _that_ happened, I gave back the original Third Arm Sash and Chase said he’d get me the Fist of Tebigong next, like we agreed on our ‘Big List of Wu,’ and that he’d keep dropping in on me from time to time so ‘I shouldn’t be surprised if I suddenly begin to find myself with an increasing need to bend over more often.’

So, I figure I’ve officially made the position of fuck-buddy, for which I am extremely overjoyed (and not just because I’ve got the biggest fucking crush on the guy; even if I _hated_ him I’d be happy because that man _knows_ how to use his dick and _right_!).

Fist of Tebigong will probably be here by tomorrow morning, I’ve got a couple of hours left before I should go to bed, and-

Hey, look, TV…


	52. 2/21/09

**2/21/09-**

 ****Chase was a little off today.

He showed up this afternoon, looking a little…well, suffice it to say pissed off.

I was particularly respectful with my words in light of that (refrained from slang, jokes, and anything that could be construed as an insult), but eventually, I guess I accidentally hit on what was pissing him off, because I asked about the Fist of Tebigong and he _scowled_ and before I even knew what was happening, I was being manhandled onto his bed and kissed hard enough that my bottom lip started bleeding the second it _half_ -touched one of his fangs.

Of course, I’m a horny teenage boy, so I didn’t really complain ‘cause… _sex_ , but usually he’s…y’know, not as rough.

In all honesty, I kinda liked it.

He made it feel good anyways, even though he gripped me harder and bit me more than usual, and besides, he’s pretty sexy when he’s growling at me and just _taking_ what he wants…

No. Must stop thinking about that, lest I have need of fucking good ol’ Leftie again.

But, so anyways, we start fucking, right? I decide to ride him, ‘cause I never have before, and I wanted to know what it’d be like to be on top (if not the one who’s doing the fucking) and he seemed okay with the idea even though he didn’t verbally agree to it (he wasn’t talking all that much, really).

After awhile, I guess Chase started getting close (I was too, make no mistake), and he started being rougher than he already was. He didn’t hurt me; at least not _really_ , but I knew if he kept up with that, I wasn’t gonna be able to do much of anything else for a couple of days, so without even thinking, I asked him to go easy on me.

Mistake.

I was on my back faster than I could fucking _blink_ and he was _glaring_ at me. His eyes were doing that red glowing thing they do when he’s like a hair’s breadth from going dragon and his voice was rough like it, too.

Naturally, I was about scared stiff.

He practically roared at me, totally _furious_ , talking about ‘who in the seven Hells did I think I was trying to order him,’ and that he ‘would do as he damn well pleased and I had no say in his actions.’

That wasn’t what I meant at _all_ so I tried to tell him so (just a pinch hard with the clawed hand locked on my throat, but I managed), and I got across that I only wanted him to be a _little_ gentler so I wouldn’t be too sore to let him fuck me tomorrow ‘cause I _really_ wanted him inside me as much as possible.

Chase seemed to like that a lot.

He calmed down, like, immediately and stopped trying to choke me, and then he gave me one of his sexiest grins and apologized for his ‘rash behavior.’ He also quipped on how greedy I was that I would risk his temper just so I could let him have me tomorrow.

Chase: Spicer, you gluttonous whore, if you are as intent on expressing your avarice for my cock and my come as you seem to be, then you shall have no trouble sucking my cock.

Me: *pretty much frozen by sexiest tone in the world* Um…

Chase: I’m _not_ asking, Spicer.

Me: *turned on as hell by that commandeering attitude* Okay…

So basically, I sucked him off (we’d picked the cherry-flavored lube, which was tastier than I’d been expecting of a sex-product), and upon realizing I hadn’t come yet, Chase gave me a quick handjob before fucking me into the sheets to express his appreciation.

I didn’t figure out _why_ he was so pissed off and on edge until after all that.

Apparently, he’d gone to go get the Fist of Tebigong, and the monks had had a bout of their incredible, reality-defying luck and just _happened_ to be at the Wu Vault, at which point they had the self-importance to think he was there to start molesting Rai again (PUH-LEASE, he’s got better, now!).

Consequently, they all jumped him at once and, in the interest of not going to unnecessary troubles, Chase retreated.

Shit, no _wonder_ he was pissed if that’s what happened! Chase Young _does not_ retreat! Ever! To _have_ to…

Well, shit, I’d have a wild hair up my ass, too.

But so after the sex, he handed me my GTC gloves (he’d snagged ‘em before ‘porting us to his bedroom) and said I could leave if I wanted.

I almost didn’t, but I mean, any more sex at that point would’ve put me off limits for all of tomorrow which I’d almost gotten myself killed trying to avoid, and I couldn’t really think of anything else to do with Chase as pissy as he was, so I decided to go.

Before I could actually go through the wormhole, though, he caught me and said thanks for letting him take his frustrations out on me sexually, that’d he’d really needed it and felt infinitely better than before, and that he apologized if he’d frightened me or hurt me at all during sex.

I was kinda touched.

I told him it was no big deal, that he was actually pretty sexy when he got a little rough, and that I was mostly undamaged.

Chase: Still, Spicer, I appreciate that you put up with me in such a mood as I was in. For your trouble… *leans in, plants a kiss on me that damn near knocks my socks off*

Me: *blink, blink* S’alright… *stumbles through wormhole like love-struck idiot*

In any case, all that’s done with. I don’t have any projects to work on currently (not worried; Chase’ll get the Fist of Tebigong sooner or later), so…huh, well I guess I might as well go to bed.

After all, I’ll _need_ the sleep if Chase intends to collect on my promise of more sexing!


	53. 2/22/09

**2/22/09-**

 ****Today was…not all that great.

Chase stopped by around mid-afternoon to drop off the Fist of Tebigong (he _did_ get it like I knew he would: he’s awesome like that), and then we only had time for a quickie because apparently, Wuya just unexpectedly returned to his palace and he had been meaning to have a word with her (the dumb bitch must’ve crossed him again; _would not_ trade places with her right now for anything).

He’d had _perfect_ timing in stopping by considering I’d been in the mood about then (I never used to be this horny before; Chase’s schedule of needing sex so often must be rubbing off on me), and he was, as usual, _a God_ in bed, so when he was about to leave, I smiled, thanked him, and told him he could stop by any time.

Chase glared at me. Like, _glared_.

I thought for a second I was about to relive yesterday when he’d been similarly pissy, but then he started saying stuff about how he didn’t know what I thought we were, but that we ‘were in no way lovers or anything of the sort and not to get any ideas.’

I had a confused.

When I expressed such, he growled at me, “I _saw_ the look on your face yesterday, Spicer: you wore a look of _love_.”

I figured it would be best to tell the truth (because I did not particularly want to find out what would happen if I lied to Chase Young’s face when he already seemed agitated by whatever Wuya did and I guess what _I_ inadvertently did).

So I told him, “I've _been_ in love with you since before we even started fucking, Chase. I have no intention of ruining whatever it is we have by getting stupid and trying to push you into some kind of relationship.”

 _That_ startled him.

He tried to pass it off as nothing, _insisted_ that I didn’t love him and that it was just a fanboy crush.

I looked him right in the eye and said, “It's really not. If it _were_ a fanboy crush, I’d have grown out of it by now, but it's still there.”

He was skeptical, and challenged, “Yet, in all this time, you have _never_ demanded a relationship from me.”

I told him the truth, again. “I'm not stupid. If I demanded a relationship, I wouldn't even get to _fuck_ you anymore: you'd get rid of me like you got rid of Rai when he started getting uppity and assuming he had any right to determine what kind of relationship beyond sex, if _any_ , you guys had. I get that I don't have a chance to be your...boyfriend or whatever you'd call it and I’m okay with that: I just want to maintain what we've got going. I won’t ask you for anything more than that.”

He didn’t know _what_ to say to that, so I got closer to him, put my arms around his neck.

Me: I can’t help how I feel, Chase: I can’t control that. But I’m not _ever_ going to act on those feelings because I know _you_ don’t want that. I’m not asking you to love me back. I’m not asking you to be mushy with me. I’m not even asking you to _fake_ being in love with me. All I want is for you to treat me civil outside of sex and, obviously, _having_ that sex with me when you want it.

He still didn’t say anything (or move at all; he was stiff as a statue), so I upped the ante and started kissing his neck.

Me: I was in love with you all those other times we fucked, and I didn’t do anything to make you uncomfortable then, right? I’m okay with a purely physical relationship if you are.

He pushed me away, stepped backwards, and told me, “…I must think on this, Spicer. For now, I have Wuya to deal with: we shall talk of our situation at a later date.”

And then he was gone.

I’m hoping that Chase’s okay with it; me being in love with him, I mean. I was totally serious, though, and I wouldn’t even _think_ of trying to push for something more than fuck-buddies unless he _explicitly_ tells me he wants me to.

Really, Chase should be _happy_ about it: I’m head-over-heels for him, so I’ll do pretty much whatever he tells me to _whenever_ he tells me to do it, I’m a good fuck (and I’m sure of that, because if I weren’t, he wouldn’t still be fucking me), and as the cherry on top, I’ve expressed a blatant lack of desire to push for a romantic relationship.

I should be his _Dream Whore_!

And yet, he’s gone off to deal punishment to Wuya for whatever the hell she stupidly did to cross him, and I’m here in my lab, toiling away on the Fist of Tebigong study, scared out of my mind that maybe he actually _can’t_ handle us fucking with the knowledge that I love him even though I’m not doing anything about it.

I’m also pretty on edge since I keep thinking that I’m mere minutes away from him popping in and telling me it’s over and that he’s going back to Rai to condition him into being less of a bitch about their relationship.

Urgh. _So_ not happy about _any_ of this.

But really, there’s not much I can do about it considering that I’d probably only get dumped _faster_ if I went to try and plead my case some more ‘cause Chase would think I’d been lying earlier and really _was_ trying to influence him into still fucking me against his will, and besides that, I want him to make the decision on his own.

While I would be completely fucking devastated if he _does_ decide it's too weird to keep sexing me knowing that I’m in love with him, I’d accept it because it’d be what _he_ wants, and what I _really_ want is for Chase to have what _he_ wants.

*sigh* I think I’m going to throw myself into my work for a straight day or two, sans sleep and minimal food. After all, the last time I did that, I forgot about everyone and everything around me and was only able to really focus on my project.

In all honesty, it might be good for me right now to dull my senses to the point my brain can’t manage to form complete sentences much less continue running through fifty or so different scenarios in which I end up never seeing Chase again because of this mess.


	54. 2/23/09

**2/23/09-**

 ****Plan’s working pretty well already.

I think eating less and not sleeping clears my head a little, actually; y’know, before it starts making me go loopy and totally not even there, because I’ve gotten pretty far on the Tech FoT already.

I mean, I haven’t started building anything yet, but I got a solid plan down: I figure I can use a simple base of brass knuckles and then modify it so that it functions in a similar way as the original FoT. I’ve decided I’m going to attach these energy capsules to them which, when pressed on, will activate a special energy-field.

This special energy field is going to be designed to translate velocity and mass into force (i.e., I swing my fist and the field picks up the increasing velocity and the second it makes contact with some form of mass, BLAMMO).

Shouldn’t be too hard, I think.

If I can get that done with minimal issues, though, then I’ll think about maybe adding on a function that can take incoming mass and velocity and absorb it before it hits me. More simply put, I’ll be able to block some pretty powerful attacks, and the ones powerful enough not to be completely absorb by the Tech FoT won’t be enough to physically hurt me…or at least not to a huge extent.

No word from Chase, yet, but then, I really wasn’t expecting any.

Then again, this self-deprivation thing is doing a good job at what it's supposed to do, because my brain’s already starting to get this numb feeling that makes it really hard to concentrate on two things at once, and with something actively in front of me that’s got my attention, I’ve hardly thought about Chase all day; eight or ten times max.

Finnian’s not all that happy about it, though. He _was_ down in the lab with me while I was working, but when it started getting late and he tried to get me to go to bed, I refused and kept working. He didn’t like being ignored all that much and started squeaking at me all pissed off. I happened to have the earpiece for the Tech TOS on (not the mouthpiece, ‘cause Fin can understand Chinese anyways), and I can’t quite remember just what he called me unless I want to stop working on everything and stare into space for twenty minutes trying to remember (brain is not good at thinking without sleep, and failure to multitask begins early), but I’m positive it was foul, offensive, and a very, very rude thing to say.

Eventually he started squeaking so loud I started to get a headache, so I just called down a bot to have him brought upstairs. I feel kinda bad about it, but I can only stand so much chewing out before I have to pop a couple of aspirin and pep-pills and get back to work.

Oh, weird thing, today: pink socks. I went to go change clothes really quick since I was still dressed in my _very last_ trench coat (thanks, Negriss, you dick) and jeans, so I went to put on something comfier: plain, black pajama pants, an oversized t-shirt, and a fluffy sweater. But so I took off my boots (‘cause they look cool, but I’m _not_ wearing those 24/7) and went to find some clean socks to wear, and apparently, all of my socks are pink now.

Something red probably got in with the wash, but that’s weird because the bots that take care of the laundry are specifically programmed to separate the darks from the lights, so they almost _definitely_ wouldn’t have put one of my shirts in with the socks.

Oh well; one of ‘em probably just has a minor malfunction. I’ll take care of it later.

So, anyways, I’m making some progress on the Tech FoT, Finnian’s chilling in my room under heavy guard ( _not_ the same bots that Negriss killed the hell out of last time; I built some better ones that I’ve tested to actually _work_ against his kind of magic), I’m wearing pink yet comfy socks, and…what else is important?

Oh, yeah, Chase; maybe he’ll stop by tomorrow…

…or maybe never.

*sigh* Back to business.


	55. 2/24/09

**2/24/09-**

 ****Tired.

Seriously tired.

Got some of the building done for the Tech FoT, though. Not much, but some.

Kept hazing in and out, which made it kinda hard to concentrate. Actually half-fell asleep for two minutes _standing_ at my lab table. Woke up and smacked myself in the face hard enough that I wouldn’t conk out again.

 _Really_ can’t afford to be too rested/coherent; start thinking about Chase, and mild depression sets in when I think about how fucked up I’ll feel if he really _does_ end up rejecting me.

FUCK.

Hazed out again. God dammit. Can’t ~~ _\---------------------------------_~~


	56. 2/25/09

**2/25/09-**

 ****Lack of Chase’s presence: not so bad, actually.

And before somebody goes trying to say that I would _never_ say that, and “Who are you and what’ve you done with Jack?!” I have logic to back up that statement.

I woke up around three today to find myself stripped down to my skivvies and in bed with all my blankets piled on top of me.

I was understandably ‘WTF’ing about it for awhile, but it didn’t take me long to put the fact that I’m a NOT-sleep-deprived genius to use and logically figure out that Chase must’ve knocked me out like he did that one night and put me to bed. I mean, it’s not like anybody else is in the house except me, Finnian, and Negriss, and the latter wouldn’t _want_ to do anything to help me and the former _couldn’t_ , so that logically leaves Chase.

I thought about that for a good hour, having some night-breakfast and just sort of staring at the TV screen while some mindless show was on. Chase is complicated, and to even get remotely _close_ in guessing the meanings behind what he does unless they’re explicated takes some time, even for a genius.

So, I thought about it and came up with this: he’s not gonna dump me.

That wouldn’t fit with him at all, because if he was just going to stop fucking me and end ‘us’ so to speak ( _not_ as in a relationship ‘us,’ by the way, in case anybody thinks I’m getting Pedrosa-uppity), he might’ve looked in on me while I was loopy just to make sure I wasn’t plotting against him or something since people really have a tendency to do that to him (the logic of which I cannot understand _at all_ ), but I mean, there’s no way he would’ve even _half-_ cared much less intervened and made me conk out for real instead of the ‘hazing in and out’ I’d been doing if he was just gonna up and end what we've got going.

Too bad I was writing in pen yesterday, as a side-note. That cross for the last ‘t’ I wrote turned into a huge line on the paper when Chase must’ve knocked me out.

But back _to_ Chase while I’m on the topic: I don’t think he’ll dump me because of the aforementioned reason. I’m not going to read into it like some lovesick fangirl might; I know that just because he was…concerned over my lack of sleep and did something about it, that doesn’t mean he’s about to change radically and get all lovey-dovey all of a sudden, or that he already is and is expressing his affection secretly.

He’s still not the type to be in love. He’s still the powerful warrior he’s always been. He still has no interest in some kind of relationship commitment.

He’s still Chase Young.

I know that (probably because I have more than one brain cell), and I _respect_ it, as a matter of fact! That was a huge part of his appeal when what I felt for him _was_ just a fanboy crush: he was, is, and always will be untouchable in a romantic sense.

That’s fucking _fascinating_ to me. I guess the ‘you always want what you can’t have’ thing is true, but even though I’ll probably never get him, I think I could die happy just knowing I was a good fuck for him.

ANYWAYS. So, I’m not reading into the whole thing like that because I know it's stupid and borderline impossible, so instead, I figured out that Chase isn’t about to dump me because he was concerned for my health. He wouldn’t give a flying fuck in _space_ about my sleeping schedule (or rather, the lack of it) if he didn’t need me to be relatively healthy for his purposes.

Considering I can’t fight for shit and be physically useful to him in that field, that only leaves the conclusion that he wants my body in unexhausted condition so _he_ can use it: _sexually_.

I felt a lot better figuring that out, because it means that Chase _must_ have already decided he’s not going to stop fucking me and is only narrowing down the specifics for himself of how it's going to work between us.

All I’d wanted from the beginning was the continuation of the fucking, so no matter _how_ he decides to handle our interaction outside of sex from now on provided he’s not gonna, I don’t know, beat me severely or something and is at least civil, I’ll be happy with what I got.

That said, I’ve made some _major_ progress in the Tech FoT, have finished the main function, and am already beginning to incorporate the function I’d previously said I was only _maybe_ going to add.

In layman’s terms, I’m technically done with the replication part of the Wu since I _know_ how to make it function as a shield even though I haven’t totally finished that part yet, but the point being that I don’t really need the _actual_ Fist of Tebigong to finish up.

Because of that, I’ve sent it back to Chase though not in person; he’s probably still debating a little on what I’m going to be to him and would probably be ticked off if I interrupted that. Along with the Fist of Tebigong, I decided to include a note and a little gift.

The note said: “Sorry I’m in love with you. You can has.” _What_ he can has is a veritable crapload of cupcakes.

When Diol and Bella were guarding me back when Rai went apeshit on me about Chase, one of them mentioned he likes cupcakes, so I figured that might be a good way to coax him out of whatever contemplative snit he’s in and get him to come over here and tap my ass like he _should_ be doing.

Really, though, I went _all out_ on the cupcakes. First of all, I made as many as was humanly possible in a single evening, and second of all, I made as many kinds as I knew the recipes to. There were arrowroot glazed, butter cream, chocolate chip, ginger-apple, strawberry cream tea, red devil, even tiramisu Italian trifle!

Then, after all of those (of which there are entire _batches_ , not just one of each), I made three special decorated ones that I put in the exact middle of the bunch of them. All three of those cupcakes were just chocolate with honey in place of frosting, but two of them had a little cat stuck on top (made painstakingly from crystallized sugar, thank you very much); one was a tiger and the other was a leopard, both of which stood at attention in the classic ‘RAWR’ pose of them…well, ‘RAWR’ing.

The third one had a crystallized sugar decoration, too, but this time, I made it two roses: one dark pink and the other coral. Dark pink roses are representative of gratitude (and I _am_ grateful to him; for making me go to sleep last night, for deeming fit to fuck me in the first place, and for this whole Wu project in general), and coral roses are representative of desire (and I definitely _desire_ him, too).

Hopefully, Chase’ll like the gift _and_ get the subtle message in the rose-one, ‘cause if he doesn’t hurry and make up his mind about me soon, I’m gonna die of blue-balls over here.

Mmmm….I may have to jerk off, actually, now that I’ve started thinking about Chase’s cock…

Oh, yeah, I’m gonna have to. Like, _right_ now.


	57. 2/26/09

**2/26/09-**

 ****FUCK YES!

I just so happen to be having the Best Day Ever and cannot actually think of something that has gone wrong today.

…well, unless you count the fact that I kinda shocked myself while working on a bot, today, and burned my finger, but that’s just one little thing, so fuck it!

So, back to the beginning of today!

Woke up, watched TV, did some stuff, almost went back to sleep because it was a blizzardy-ass day outside, but decided I should maybe make some more of the bots that are equipped to handle Negriss, ‘cause there’s only ten of ‘em as is, and I thought Finnian would feel safer with a few more around that could keep him from being raped/eaten.

In any case, I’m down in the lab, working on upgrading one of my regular robots to ‘Can Kick Negriss’s Scaly Ass’ status, and my hand, like I mentioned already, slipped a little bit and I ended up zapping my finger on an open wire.

I pulled my hand back in a second (with what some might call a whimper but I refer to as a manly squeal, thank you) and popped my finger in my mouth so I could suck on it until I could get a band-aid or something.

Imagine my (pleasant) surprise to have my wrist grabbed and my finger pulled out of my mouth to be put into an entirely different one with the statement of, “Don’t trouble yourself, Spicer; allow me...”

And _ho-lee shit,_ I had no idea I could actually get hard _and_ come within a second of realizing it was Chase sucking on my finger.

Me: _D-damn_ , Chase, do you always make your fuck-buddy come so quick?

Chase: Consider it payback, Spicer, for making _me_ come with those cupcakes of yours.

Me: …What?

Chase: Your expertise at baking has proven skillful enough to bring me to a dry orgasm.

Fuck if that isn’t the best compliment to my cooking skills I’ve _ever_ gotten!

Not to mention that it became one of the most arousing things I’ve ever known upon realizing that _I_ made _Chase Young_ come without so much as touching him; hell, I wasn’t even within twenty _miles_ of him!

Insta-boner if I’d ever had one.

So in any case, he proceeded to prove me right in that he wasn’t dropping me as his sex-source by fucking me up against a big machine I’ve got in the lab (is it sad that I have absolutely _no_ idea what it does and haven’t been able to figure it out for two years?).

I think ‘stand and deliver’ is his favorite position if I were just going by the incredibly _satisfied_ growls and purrs he was giving me.

Luckily for him, then, that the machine (despite the fact that I have no idea what it does) was on and emitting heat, so my back didn’t get uncomfortably cold from being pressed up against it and that I stopped him when he tried to take off the sweater I was wearing at the time so it could cushion the force of being rubbed against the machine so hard.

Chase wasn’t all that happy when I’d first suggested leaving it on, but he warmed up to it considerably when he realized he could have me in what I still assume is his favorite position all the way to _orgasm_ and not just _half-way_ there before having to move elsewhere.

Needless to say I practically ripped the thing off when we were done so I didn’t pass out from overheating, but it did what it was supposed to do, so whatever.

After that, he ‘ported us to my bed and we fucked some more (a _lot_ more) and then, when we were totally too tired to fuck anymore, he decided to explain the conclusion he’d reached in terms of ‘us.’

Apparently, Chase has determined that we will maintain our relationship as is, specifically the sex, but that he would not now nor ever concede to any whims I might have of him being my boyfriend and going on dates (“or whatever the devil it is you teenagers are supposed to do as a couple”).

I told him I was fine with that, and decided that, since making out wasn’t strictly a boyfriend-girlfriend (or boyfriend-boyfriend, I guess) thing to do, we could kill some time with that.

At some point, he paused right in the middle of it and mentioned offhandedly that he’d been smelling my scent around the house a lot, but like I’d burned myself or something.

That seemed weird, but then I remembered that I actually _had_ burned my hand earlier and brought it to attention.

Chase seemed to accept that and courteously magicked my finger mostly healed and put a band-aid on it so it could finish healing on its own, for which I said thanks, and he said he should probably get going.

Me: Sure thing, Chase. Oh, and hey, if you ever want me to bake you some more cupcakes, just ask!

Chase: *hiss* _Don’t_ tempt me, Spicer. I doubt you’ll enjoy sex with me so much when my warrior-body becomes morbidly obese from your damnably delicious pastries!

Me: *LOL* Don’t worry, I bet I would; just gimme a couple days to get into the ‘chubby-chaser’ mindset!

Seriously, though, I could care _less_ what he looks like. I mean… _Chase_.

I almost get hard just _thinking_ about him, and when he’s actually _there_ , I get hard before I even know I’m horny!

Anywho, good day overall: was promised the next Wu (Orb of Tornami) sooner or later, got an owie sensually made all better, and best of all, I finally had it confirmed that I get to stay Chase’s fuck-buddy.

Yay, today!


	58. 2/27/09

**2/27/09-**

 ****Well. Nothing monumental has happened today; haven’t had any contact with anybody today or anything.

I’ve just been practicing.

Practicing what, you may ask? Well, now that Chase and I are officially fucking again, I decided to check out some internet pr0ns to see if I could find something not incredibly gross and disgusting and maybe a little exciting to surprise Chase with the next time we have sex.

I thought of it yesterday when we were fucking and I figured out that Chase _loves_ it when I roll my hips and I decided it’d be a more convenient way to find some stuff he might like without having to accidentally stumble upon it.

Among some of those gross and disgusting things (Louisiana hot pocket: EWW to the nth degree), I managed to find this thing that you can do during a blowjob that I’m almost _positive_ he’ll like: deep-throating.

Apparently, it's where, while blowing a guy, you relax your throat muscles and hold back your gag-reflex so he can fuck your mouth more deeply. It’s supposed to feel really good for the man (or I guess in this case, the man _acting_ as the man, since _both_ of us have an X and a Y chromosome), so I figured it’d be worth a shot.

So basically, all of today, I’ve been practicing with some handy-dandy bananas (not little plantains, either; huge, _Chase-sized_ bananas). Keeping my throat loose around it was the easy part; the hard part was figuring out how to ignore my gag-reflex, because my brain’s first impression of putting something that big in my throat is naturally ‘un-chewed food, regurgitate, chew, and swallow again,’ which is _not_ the desired effect here at all.

I think I’ve got it down, mostly. I’m _definitely_ ready to give it a try tomorrow (providing Chase shows up for some fucking, of course), even though I _might_ still end up gagging a little at first.

I can _so_ not wait to see the look on his face when he realizes I’m not just going to be using my lips and tongue!

This is gonna be fun…


	59. 2/28/09

**2/28/09-**

Today was actually pretty interesting, believe it or not; probably because I’ve never seen Chase barfing like a freshman before.

Anyways, _the second_ Chase showed up in my room this morning, I pounced on him. I was eager to see if he’d like the surprise I’d been practicing for him.

He did! I went down on him and just acted like it was the usual kind of blowjob he got from me, y’know, just lips and tongue, and then I half-looked up, smirked around my mouthful and deep-throated him.

The look on his face was fucking _beautiful_! Those gorgeous golds went wide as the notion of _HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WHEN’D HE LEARN **THAT**?!_ set in, and before he could even say anything to that effect, I swallowed and he _roared_ ; I think he almost came, too, but he lasted another minute or two before he actually did.

…then he surprised me by pulling my hair and demanding to know where I’d picked up the skill.

I told him about how I’d been practicing all of yesterday ‘cause I figured he’d like it, and he let go of my hair and said the equivalent of, “Oh, okay; carry on, then.”

What weirded me out about that was that the way he asked that…well, it almost came off like he was _jealous_ of whoever I’d learned it from ( _before_ he found out that that ‘who’ was an ‘it’ and was a banana, of course).

Hell, I must be a better lay than I thought if he’s so pissed at the very _thought_ of me pleasuring someone else besides him! *has a smug*

So, after the first blowjob, we had some sex (a _lot_ of sex in which I used what I learned yesterday more than once), I had a not-stupid version of a Brain-Blast at one point (I’ll go into it later), had some more sex, nommed some pizza, and then got around to what made Chase vomit before having sex again.

So! Details.

Sometimes, out of nowhere, I get these random inspirations. They _usually_ don’t have anything to do with what’s going on around me or what somebody just said/did (though this time it was brought on by the afterglow of a _really_ good orgasm): they’re just randomly-triggered and I have to get _everything_ I just thought of down on paper in detail or else I’ll lose it forever. Think Sam Coleridge’s “Kubla Khan”: he started it after he woke up from an opium dream, his high wore off, and he never finished it because he could never get back what he’d wanted to write.

Same concept with me, only my inspiration has nothing to do with opium…or normally not anything in particular, really.

But my idea that I got in mid-sentence with Chase after a round of sex was a THING-FINDER. Sounds stupid, but let me explain it.

What the Thing-Finder will do once I have it built is be a locator for _any object_ someone can think of by seeking out the chemical or aural signature typical to that object. I’ve decided to add some ‘search settings’ to it when it's finished so that if whoever’s using it knows some more of the specifics that whatever the basic object is (i.e., user had contact with it sometime in the past week, colored blue, originally belonged to so-and-so, etc.). I figure it’d be pretty useful in a lot of ways, specifically to me who’d lose his head if it weren’t attached.

That, and it’ll be indispensible for Showdowns if I know what the Wu is supposed to look like so that I can specify that in the search settings and know its precise location at least a good ten minutes before the Xiaolin losers do.

I’ve been working on it a lot of today (after Chase left), and I figure I’ll send him one, too, seeing as he’s the inspiration for it _and_ he’ll have some more use for it than me considering that he probably knows what all the Shen Gong Wu look like and will be able to use it more effectively.

He’ll have it on his doorstep by tonight!

Anyways, so let’s rewind to when Chase and I finished the pizza (never thought I’d _ever_ see Chase Young eating pizza _in my life_ ; it really just seems like a teenager food, I guess).

So, he mentions again that he _really_ liked that I went to the trouble of learning how to deep-throat on the whim that it’d make him happy, and the following conversation ensued:

Me: Glad you like it. I spent some time on the internet, looking at porn videos. There are a few things I wouldn't mind trying, but some are just _flat out_ , _God_ that's just _wrong--_

Chase: Like what?

Me: Welllll... I dunno. I mean, you've been around a while. Some of this stuff you probably _invented_ , for fuck's sake, but not the _really_ gross stuff. Actually, I'm pretty sure one of 'em was invented by the Germans-

Chase: _What_ was?

Me: *speaking as quietly as possibly* Louisiana hot pocket…

Chase: *annoyed* WHAT?

Me: Louisiana hot pocket!

Chase: That doesn't sound German. What--?

Me: It's when a man shits in a woman's vagina and then fucks her.

I had no idea Chase could teleport so fast as to leave a cloud of _dust_.

He was in the bathroom, as I stated earlier, puking his guts out.

I did the first thing that came to my mind and held his hair out of his face and rubbed his back.

I understood totally: the first two seconds of the clip I found (the actual _shitting_ ) had me running to the bathroom and then when I came back to turn it _off_ , the couple was fucking and you could see the…

Oh _God_ …I think I have to run to the bathroom again just _thinking_ about it…!


	60. 3/1/09

**3/1/09-**

 ****I can has pleasant surprise!

So today, I woke up this morning to find Chase on top of me, nose to nose and just _staring_ ; waiting for me to wake up.

Naturally, the first thing out of my mouth was, “…hi.”

He kissed me hard, and before I really knew he’d done it, I was naked and he was stretching me with a lubed finger (chocolate-flavored this time, *wink*).

He’s getting really good at stripping me naked and getting me ready for sex without my knowledge until it’s already done.

Anywho, after that, he poofed some clothes on me with his magic. I think he made it so that it’d be my _favorite_ clothes, too, because I ended up in my ‘Mutants for Nukes’ t-shirt with the three-eyed skull on the chest and the nuclear hazard symbol on the back, all in neon-yellow. I _love_ that shirt. No trench coat, though, because Negriss decided to take the opportunity while I wasn’t wearing my last one and was out cold to destroy it, meaning I am officially _out_ of them.

Oh, well, I guess.

But so Chase dressed me magically, and all of a sudden, we were in my lab…or at least I _thought_ it was my lab until I realized that it didn’t have any of my machines in it and was pretty much bare.

Pleasant surprise time: Chase was so pleased with me in the past couple of days (the cupcakes, the thing-finder, the sex, etc.) that he decided he would prefer it if I was consistently in a closer proximity to him and he could use me at his leisure.

He built me a lab _in his palace_.

YAY FOREVER!

I’m excited, myself, ‘cause it means I’ve reached the level of usefulness at which Chase allows his allies to live with him, and for my lab and my new bedroom to be where they are (a floor directly below the main foyer and across from Chase’s respectively), that means I’m at a seriously _special_ level of importance.

No matter _how_ useful Wuya was to Chase at any given time, she was _never_ roomed so close to him (and I know for sure because she used to bitch about it whenever Chase would dump her and she’d fall back to living/working with me).

My bots are moving all my necessary stuff from my old lab to my new lab as I write this, and now that I’ve gotten mostly settled, Chase has given me my first task as his live-in ally: bake him a batch of cupcakes.

Seems he’s about done with the cupcakes he _used_ to keep around the palace before mine and now that he’s got me, he refuses to accept anything less than my awesome baking skills.

Now the only question is what kind to bake.

Hm...

I'm thinking some more tiramisu Italian trifle!

*scurries off to have a baking-gay*


	61. 3/2/09

**3/2/09-**

 ****I had fun today. I am really _loving_ that I get to live here with Chase now!

So, last night, I got woken up by a certain horny dragon-lord with a blatant desire to fuck: YAY.

It wasn’t quite as out of nowhere as waking up to find him on top of me like yesterday morning since I’m not totally used to my new room, yet, and woke up on my own the second the door opened.

I sat up in bed, acknowledged him politely and proceeded to ask what he was doing in my room.

He avoided the subject for a few seconds, only long enough to fake idle conversation and ask how the cupcake endeavor was going. I told him I’d finished about three or four batches for whenever he wanted them and would bake more if he asked.

He didn’t ask me to, but he _did_ ask what kind they were. Apparently, _the_ sexiest answer I could’ve given him at that moment was ‘tiramisu Italian trifle,’ ‘cause he _pounced_ and started tearing off my clothes, all the while growling very filthy, very _hot_ things about what he wanted to do with/to me in my ear.

Didn’t take long to get hard, I can tell you that much: two, three seconds, _tops_.

Luckily, I’d been pretty much expecting him to come for more sex that night, because we’d only fucked in the morning, and since we _started,_ he was never a once-a-day guy. More like five-or-six-a-day, really.

But so anyway, I’d figured he might show up sometime that night, so I’d put some lube under my pillow just in case, so we’d not only have it on hand, but it’d be warm and ready for use.

Chase also seemed incredibly excited at the type of lube I’d picked out: the glow-in-the-dark stuff.

It was a fun night, to say the least, and by the end of it, I could’ve walked into a pitch-black, light-sealed room and you’d be able to see _every_ nook and cranny. Chase made something of a game out of how many places on me he could make glow and with what body parts.

If it _was_ a game, he _definitely_ won.

So then after all that, I went back to sleep, stayed asleep until about noonish and then _forced_ myself to get out of bed so I could make another two batches of cupcakes to even them out to at least five, and then was shoved onto the kitchen table and fucked to oblivion (covered in flour and still wearing my apron, by the way)!

After that, Chase cleaned us up really quick and ‘ported us to his bedroom for more fucking, and then when we were lying there in between sex-sessions, I was hit with an honest question that I just had to ask.

“Hey, Chase, do you have any sexual fantasies?”

Turns out he does!

On the top of his list were tying me up (with my permission, of course; he doesn’t do the rape thing) and drizzling chocolate or honey or something similarly sweet all over me and licking it off.

Naturally, to both of those I responded with a resounding, “YESPLZ,” and he gave me a look that said he was pleased with my answer and promised that, in that case, those would happening fairly soon, if not tonight.

Another one of his fantasies that he’s had the thought to do a couple of times was to fuck me while I’m sleeping; that I looked ‘particularly desirable in slumber.’ I also agreed to that one (I mean, seriously: if he’s _actually_ fucking me while I’m asleep, then I’ll at least have _some_ excuse for dreaming about him fucking me all the time), but he eventually declined that one.

Chase: No, thanks. If I wanted to fuck a lifeless shell, I'd fuck Wuya.

Me: Wait, didn't you used to?

Chase: Only because you hadn't grown up yet.

Me: What about Rai?

Chase: What about him? I made do until I found someone worthy of my cock.

It was about then that I mwee’d like a dork and, to make up for that ‘in love with him’ part of me surfacing so blatantly, I deep-throated him again.

He _really_ likes it when I do that, so clearly, Mr. Banana was a helpful practice-subject!

After that, he vaguely mentioned (with CLEAR purpose in mind; he wasn’t fooling anyone) that he’d heard of a brandy butter cream cupcake that was supposed to be delicious, but that he hadn’t ever tasted one he quite liked.

Chase: *BIG FLAMING HINT FOR ME TO GET MY FINE ASS IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE HIM SOME THAT HE LIKED*

I gave him a quick peck on the lips and slipped some clothing on so I could get to it, brought Finnian (who’d been brought over with all the other stuff I’d wanted) with me into the kitchen, and made him some of the brandy butter cream cupcakes that Granny Spicer had taught me how to make when I was just a budding evil genius.

Oddly enough, she promised that they’d knock the socks off any man I fancied someday. I guess I was an obvious fag even _then!_

But, Granny did _not_ disappoint, and one bite of it had Chase moaning and ‘porting me to his bedroom again for another fuck (also the last of the night)!

He’s a randy dragon, that’s for sure; what’s even _more_ certain is that I could not be happier that he is!


	62. 3/3/09

**3/3/09-**

 ****Today wasn’t _too_ bad; at least the first part wasn’t.

So, I woke up this morning and was gifted with an invite (via Diol) to have a nice, sit-down breakfast with Chase.

Awesome, much?

But it got better! So I got dressed (not very well; just pajama pants and a shirt) and headed to the dining room to verify that _yes_ , I would _love_ to have breakfast with Chase, and when I got there, I came _this_ close to gaping like an idiot at the spread upon the table.

Bacon, sausage, eggs, pancakes, waffles, crêpes, a million different kinds of fruit, and to top it all off, a plate of the cupcakes I’d made yesterday (naturally about a foot away from where Chase was sitting).

I not only almost gaped, I almost started _drooling_.

...what? I like food.

So, nomming commenced along with casual conversation, and I noticed him eat one of my cupcakes and actually have to _hold himself back_ from moaning.

I AM A CUPCAKE _GENIUS_! Perhaps even a _GOD_!

Anywho, though, I guess at some point during breakfast, I reached across the table to snag some more bacon and the shirt I was wearing was a little big on me.

It was actually Chase’s; he left it in my room last night after fucking me there and then dragging me off to screw in this sexy-awesome bathroom he has: _steamy evening_ figuratively _and_ literally.

But anyways, because it was big on me, it slid down my shoulder a little while I was trying to get to the tasty fried meat and Chase gave me that smirk he’s famous for and commented on how attractive I looked fresh out of bed, hickeys and bite-marks on my neck and wearing his clothing.

I wasn’t too terribly hungry anymore, so I decided to make the comment that I bet I’d look _more_ attractive _without_ his clothing on.

He was inclined to agree in his own horny way (and naturally expressed it likewise)!

After we had sex on the floor of the dining room once or twice, he handed off the Orb of Tornami and said he’d leave me alone for a couple of hours so I could actually get some work done on it.

I didn’t really see why. It was an easy one for me; _so_ easy, in fact, that I could probably have finished it as well as I did during the four or five hours in which Chase wasn’t in the same room as me as I could've if Chase were fucking me over my lab-table the whole time.

The Wu pretty much just involves regulation of hydrogen bonds, and hydrogen bonds are most often very _weak_ bonds, meaning easily broken and rearranged in any configuration I see fit.

I dealt with stronger bonds trying to figure out how to make my matter-shifter go intangible!

The whole thing is even easier when you consider that there’s pretty much all the components for water _in the air_ , so it wasn’t hard to figure out how to use electrical pulses to undo and reconfigure the oxygen and hydrogen bonds in the air into H2O which will then be further regulated by more pulses which will serve to do the breaking down and rearranging thing I mentioned earlier.

In two out of the five hours I was left alone in my lab, I’d figured out how to ‘summon’ water from thin air and manipulate it to my will.

Ice was only a _little_ more difficult, as it involves lowering the temperature _quickly_ , while the water is still in motion, but I managed it with only a little bit of trouble: my remaining three hours (which included a twenty-minute, ‘FUCK THIS, I’LL DO SOMETHING ELSE FOR AWHILE’ period).

Not only am I a Cupcake Genius (/God), but a Mechanical one, too!

Chase was certainly surprised to check in on me after the five hours, about to ask how I was progressing only to have the original Orb of Tornami tossed at him over my shoulder as I casually informed, “Done.”

This was a definite good thing, as he complimented me briefly on manufacturing my own version so quickly before telling me he wished to try something and promptly using his magic to take us to the foyer…

…where he just as promptly had a blindfold over my eyes and my arms pulled above my head with silk rope magicked to the ceiling and _just_ short enough to have my toes off the ground.

It was apparently sexual fantasy enactment time, because he then pressed me up against a wall and had me, moaning and growling my name in a way that had me _sure_ I wouldn’t last very long, _especially_ not with how _intense_ it felt with my sight blocked and being unable to move.

I lasted long enough, though, at least. I’d been doing good right up until he snarled something about how totally helpless I was to stop him from fucking me and that he was the one with complete control, and _fuck_ I love that domineering part of him so _much_ …!

Enough, in fact, to come without a single touch to my cock and then come again when Chase came from _just_ the knowledge that _I_ made him come that hard and that it was _my_ name he was growling.

What I really like about sex with Chase, now that I think about it, is that he always makes sure I come first before he does. I know he could orgasm a lot sooner than he does if he wanted to, but he doesn’t because he wants to make sure _I’m_ enjoying the sex, too.

That’s fairly considerate of him when one takes inventory of the fact that he’s the most _EVIL_ man on the planet and could easily satisfy himself using my body and leave me with blue-balls.

But then again, that’s probably one of the Evil things he considers to be ‘crossing the line,’ so to speak. His honor-code, despite the fact that he’s Heylin, is rock-solid and certain things are just too fucked up for him to do.

Sexual violence seems to be his biggest NO-button: physical injury (not intended to cause pleasure like biting and scratching and such; full-blown smacking around) during intercourse, trying something out of the box that both partners haven’t explicitly agreed to beforehand, but the biggest NO for him is definitely rape.

As far as Chase cares, it’s a vile, crude, and sickening act only resorted to by stupid, violent animals with a desperation for proving their power through corruption of what is meant to be one of the most pleasurable and natural acts on Earth, _not_ something that should be taken by force and made into a painful nightmare for the victim.

He’s got pretty strong feelings on the topic, yes.

But! Edging away from that, Chase said he wished to act out another sexual fantasy upon me and took off my blindfold (because he wanted me to _see_ what he’d be doing to me) before covering me in what he said was Honey Dust.

I managed to gather that it was some kind of flavored powder before I stopped thinking entirely at the sight of Chase lifting my leg and licking some of the powder off of my inner-thigh.

I was still tied up, mind you, so I couldn’t do much else but moan and occasionally shriek as he licked the Honey Dust off of me _torturously_ slowly.

*sigh* I _really_ wish I could’ve found out how that might’ve ended.

Unfortunately, Chase and I were interrupted by one Master Monk Guan, coming for revenge of some sort, I assume.

He seemed a little surprised to see that it was _me_ Chase was debauching. I guess he was expecting it to be Rai, still; also likely that was the very reason he’d come to challenge Chase in the first place, seeing as Pedrosa’s one the players on the whole Xiaolin ‘Hooray for Fake-Good!’ team.

Chase was not all that happy about the unexpected visit.

I was untied, unpowdered, and dressed in half a second flat (I guess in case things had escalated and I desperately needed to flee the Mountain in a hurry and wouldn’t have to do so naked and a bit itchy) and he _roared_ at Guan; something along the lines of, “YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER MORON! CAN YOU NOT SEE I’M GETTING _LAID_ RIGHT NOW?!”

The guy blinked, sputtered like he had no idea what to say, and that just pissed Chase off even more because it was like we hadn’t even been interrupted for a _reason_ , and while he _just_ managed to keep human form, his eyes went all dragony and he attacked Guan like the fucking _awesome_ Heylin warrior he is.

When they took it outside, I followed instead of staying where I was because…well, ‘cause Chase is _hot_ when he’s trouncing someone, and I was still hard, so…

Anyways, the whole fight climaxed in Chase knocking Guan down onto his face and then kicking him (square in the _ass_ ) off the Mountain. That was about the time _I_ climaxed, too, just from watching.

I didn’t know until today that it was possible to laugh at someone’s hilarious misfortune _and_ have an orgasm at the same time.

After that, he pounced on me (high on battle-lust, I assume) and we fucked right there and of the cliff-face out in the open and everything.

In the middle of it, I started babbling mostly-nonsense about how I _loved_ it when he got all vicious and powerful like that, and…well, I accidentally let _my_ utmost sexual fantasy slip out.

When I asked him yesterday about _his_ sexual fantasies, I was really kind of…testing the waters. I wanted to see if he had any really out-there ones that would indicate mine might be acceptable to mention, but…tying me up? Licking things off me?

 _Tame_ in comparison, especially considering that I’ve decided my only real sexual limits are shit-play, threesomes, and bodily fluids outside of semen and saliva.

I was glad Chase didn’t reciprocate the question yesterday because I didn’t think he’d be okay with it considering how out-there and decidedly not-standard it is.

“Fuck me like a dragon” just…

...it just slipped out...

I realized what I’d just said and slapped a hand over my mouth, but obviously, it was too late, and Chase had heard it.

He finished up quick and made sure I did, too, before just sort of…staring at me; like I was a shocking species of alien or something, and then he…

He left.

Chase ‘ported away without saying a word, and when I gently tried the latch to his bedroom later, it was locked.

Consequently, I’ve locked myself in my own room and am just sort of…brooding, I guess. I just really don’t want the fact that Chase’s dragon-form turns me on _incredibly_ to interfere with anything. I mean, I wouldn’t induce his transformation and _make_ him have sex with me like that or anything, even if I _could_ , and I _can’t_!

God, I would _so_ go back home and try to find my time-machine just to keep me from even letting myself say that out loud if I didn’t think Chase would kill me for trying to skip out of him before he okayed it.

But, it’s just a little fantasy, right? It’s been in my head for a _while_ and if it has to, that’s right where it’ll stay.

Still…I just hope I didn’t offend Chase or something by mentioning it. I _really_ like being his consort, and I’d hate for that to have to end just because I said something I shouldn’t have in a moment of passion.

*groan* God, this _sucks_ …


	63. 3/4/09

**3/4/09-**

 ****Okay. Well. This was a day I’m about half-neutral towards and half-annoyed at.

This morning, Chase shook me awake and demanded me to explain what I said yesterday.

I felt really awkward doing it, but I told him the truth. I told him that I’ve always thought his dragon-form was really sexy, particularly the…well, I actually _couldn’t_ specify anything because I like everything _about_ it. When Chase is like that, he’s stronger and faster, solid muscle (which he is when he’s human-formed, too, but it looks…well, I guess cooler on his bestial form), his scales are that gorgeous dark green and the occasional band of black, his mane is just as beautiful as it is in human form, and…

I’m just, like, _drawn_ to him because of how dangerous he looks like that, particularly the claws and teeth. I mean, I’m scared of them, definitely, but it’s like _because_ they scare me so much I’m attracted to them. I _want_ his teeth to sink into my neck in some animalistic display of dominance because I know he could just as easily bite harder and snap my neck; I _want_ his claws to mark up my hips and my skin even though it would only take a little more pressure over some drastically-important area, and I’d be dead.

I think in literature they call that a sublime: when something is so beautiful or so terrible or both that you’re attracted to it. That’s how I tried to explain it to Chase, at least; that he, specifically his dragon-form, is something of a sublime to me.

He considered what I had to say, at least, even though a lot of the times he stopped me and asked me if I was sure, particularly whenever I called him beautiful or sexy in reference to when he was transformed.

If I didn’t know better, I’d think he thinks his dragon-form is _ugly!_ The _hell_ it is! Good thing I know better…

But anyways, we got that talk out of the way which mostly cleared the air. It ended with him saying that he wasn’t completely comfortable in terms of having sex in dragon-form, particularly that he doubted his ability to keep control and not cross that line of ‘too hard’ or ‘too much’ that close to orgasm and that maybe in a few years he would concede to giving a _very tentative_ shot.

I saw his point and agreed with him that that was probably best and that I’d be fine with fantasizing during masturbation (if that ever becomes necessary again with all the sex Chase and I have) until that day comes if it does indeed come.

He seemed okay with that answer and kissed me, and before we knew it, we were having sex on my bed. It wasn’t the usual sex, though; it was just a _little_ bit gentler and slower, which I thought was nice as a quick change of pace (though don’t get me wrong, I _love_ the quick and rough stuff, too).

I know it’s pretty likely that Chase just went easy on me because he thought I suffered some kind of brain injury for being so sexually kinky and weird, but I liked it anyway.

 _He_ did it to me: of _course_ I’d like it.

But after we got some sexing in, he gave me the Eye of Dashi and sent me down into the lab to work on it, ‘cause we _did_ have a schedule to upkeep, so I scoured around the palace for Finnian who happened to be hanging out with Bella; she’s not so much a warrior-type any more even though she _can_ fight and is more of a motherly figure to the other cats since she’s been part of Chase’s entourage longer than everybody else. In fact, I think the only one with Chase longer than her is Diol. There might be one or two older than him, but I certainly don’t know them _or_ their names.

Anywho, I grabbed Finnian from what was apparently an intellectual discussion on why tigers certainly have _much_ better things to do than eat rats and why rats cannot trust that opinion from tigers for _any_ reason and brought him down to my new lab to start working on the Tech EOD.

I stress ‘start,’ because I didn’t get very far when I heard a hell of a lot of commotion directly upstairs in the foyer and went to investigate.

Turns out the monks, who were possessed of an entire beach’s worth of sand in their vaginas, had come to harass and otherwise attack Chase because he’d beaten the veritable crap out of Guan yesterday (though they were most definitely unaware of the circumstances, because the Master Monk was too embarrassed at having been _kicked in the ass_ off the Mountain and had told them nothing about the fight other than who did it).

They caught sight of me when I went to see what was going on, and Chase, smart bastard that he is, immediately began to play it off like I wasn’t living with him and was just there on one of my previously-usual cloying visits.

Chase: Spicer, this is _no_ time for one of your half-witted attempts to ingratiate yourself into my good graces!

Me: *catching on quickly, pleadingly* But _Chase_ …!

Chase: I’ve no time for your nonsense! Leave!

He’s good. He’s _really_ good.

But in order to keep from making the monks suspect something, I left ‘dejectedly’ while they were still fighting, whipped my GTC gloves out of my pocket and teleported back home from the Mountain ledge to wait for Chase’s signal that the coast was clear and I could go back to the palace.

Unfortunately, I just received that signal, but it’s not an all clear. Apparently, Chase wants me to stay here for a couple of days in order to throw off any suspicion that the monks, particularly Rai who seemed _especially_ suspicious of me being there and nearly killed me when he only _thought_ Chase and I were fucking, may have had.

 _Do not_ want to see what the crazy idiot would do if he knew we were _actually_ fucking now, especially if he knew we only started because of him (he tried to kill me, which led to tea and cookies with Chase, which led to the Valentine’s dinner invite, which led to the fucking, so indirectly…).

Well, Chase doesn’t want to find out what the crazy idiot might do, either, so because of all that bullshit, I’m stuck here for the next couple of days; days, I might add, in which he specified that he would not be seeing me lest the monks end up inadvertently walking (or more accurately ‘bursting through the wall’) in on us.

So…I’ve got anywhere from four to five _days_ back here, without the regular human contact I’d grown rather accustomed to, _and_ without any sex of any kind which I’d _also_ grown rather used to.

Son of a _bitch_ …


	64. 3/5/09

**3/5/09-**

 ****Well. Um, remember how I said sometime last month that I was surprised I didn’t have any illegitimate siblings? Turns out I shouldn’t have been surprised.

I do.

So, I woke up this morning a few hours before noon and head down to the living room to maybe watch some cartoons or something…

…and I’d already sat down on the couch when I realized I wasn’t the only one on it.

Naturally, I totally freaked out (what _else_ am I supposed to do when I discover someone I don’t know in my house?) and the guy just sort of blinked at me, confused. I noticed he was Caucasian, so I figured maybe he spoke English better than Chinese and tried asking the same ‘who are you and what are you doing here’ questions in that particular language.

I’m fluent in _several_ languages, by the way. I’m a _genius_ who’s mother decided to enroll him in a bajillion random skill-learning classes in a misguided attempt to make him less weird. Was I _not_ supposed to be thrown into six or seven language classes?

Anyways, turns out the guy’s name is Francis (but he’s Hotstreak or F-Stop to me unless I like death), and he’s my older half-brother.

I guess red hair runs in Dad’s genes, ‘cause he’s _definitely_ got that going for him; same shade as mine, actually, only he’s got some blond streaks in his (dyed, I assume).

Lucky for him, though, he didn’t get the freak-genes that I got from all the meds Mom had to take to get knocked up with me (namely the red eyes and the albino skin). He got the typical green eyes that usually go with red hair, plus his skin looks like he actually goes _outside_ on a regular basis instead of the complexion of a fucking piece of chalk.

I rather hate him already for being more attractive than me. You’d think I’d hate him because he’s the result of my dad fucking some other woman besides my mom, but no. I dislike him because he’s older, cooler, and stronger than I am, too, if his muscles are any indication. Seriously, he’s a big guy; not _Clay_ big, but to be honest, that’s nothing a straight week at the gym wouldn’t fix.

I’ve pretty much locked myself in the lab since then ‘cause I just plain don’t want to deal with him, but I doubt he minds all that much.

He doesn’t seem like the touchy-feely type of brother who’d have a genuine interest in getting to know me, which works to my advantage, really. I don’t deal well with touchy-feely things in terms of relatives, and it’ll be no different with Francis.

I’m just hoping Chase will stay true to his word and not have any contact with me for the next couple of days, and I’m hoping that includes not peeking in on me, either, ‘cause…

Well, my half-brother is _way_ hotter than I am. It would be just my luck to finally make myself worthy of Chase’s attention and then have some long-lost relative show up and swipe that opportunity right from under my nose.

I mean…why the hell would Chase want _me_ , a scrawny little geek of a mechanic, when he could have Francis, the obviously-powerful fighter-type?

Rrgh…I’m not even getting any work done on the Tech Eye of Dashi down here. I just…well, I’m pretty much just sitting around brooding.

I can’t focus on building something when I know there’s potentially _that_ big of a threat to me right upstairs. Its even worse than Negriss, because at least with Snakey McSonuvabtich, I had his magically-bound oath not to attack me unless I attacked him first, but this guy…

  
There’s nothing to stop him from screwing over my whole life without a second thought.

…I think I should have Dad castrated so shit like this _never_ happens again.


	65. 3/6/09

**3/6/09-**

 ****So…I feel better than I did yesterday.

I decided sometime this morning that I _was not_ gonna let this half-brother out of nowhere wreck my chances with Chase, so I confronted him and basically explicated that there was a Chinese guy in armor that I was fucking and that if he ever showed up around here _not_ to make any moves on him or else I’d have my bots toss his ass out of the house.

I drove my point home by having at least a hundred of said bots behind me to up the intimidation factor since I, in and of myself, am not all that intimidating to a guy that size.

He wasn’t intimidated anyways.

Frankie (as I’ve been calling him because F-Stop sounds like a gang-name and Hotstreak is too ‘superhero’ a name for me to take seriously) looked at me like I was stupid and told me he’d do whatever the hell he wanted and that me _and_ my machines couldn’t stop him.

He drove _his_ point home by engulfing his hand in flame and melting the bot closest to me with a fireball. Apparently, he’s pyrokinetic from some sort of gas accident that happened a couple of years ago.

Yet _another_ reason to be jealous of him. How many days did I stay up late licking my wounds from when those Xiaolin losers handed my ass to me on a daily basis, thinking of how bad I _wished_ I could have control over an element for, like, twenty minutes just to show them what it’s like to be on the receiving end?

A lot, God dammit.

Luckily, though, before he left to go do something else, Frankie added that he didn’t give much of a fuck _who_ might come around the house because he had a guy back home to screw and that ‘no Asian in armor was better than his nerd in spandex.‘

I’m not even gonna go there or _attempt_ to figure out what kinds of problems he has if he’s having sex with guys who wear spandex, but more importantly, he’s essentially promised that he’s not going to go after Chase if he comes around, so I just have to focus on making sure Chase _never finds out Francis exists_ so that he’ll never ditch me for him.

But anywho, that was the last I saw of Francis all day, so I went back down into the lab with Finnian and started work on the Tech Eye of Dashi.

I don’t have anything built yet, but it shouldn’t be too hard. It’s pretty much just an overrated taser, so I’m thinking I can just turn it into a personal one that I can keep on me in case I ever get in a tight spot and that’s the only thing I have.

I also had this idea that I could mass-produce and market this one; it’d be a good source of energy for machines that otherwise use fossil fuels and pollute the environment like cars and such seeing as it’s a never-ending power-source, so if I could figure out how to incorporate that, I could make _a lot_ of money.

Not Mommy and Daddy's money, either: _my_ money. WANT that.

So, definitely gonna keep that in mind once I get the primary focus (taser) built.

In other news…

I am _horny_ without Chase around. I mean, he’d gotten me so used to five or six times a day _if not more_ , and now I’m back down to not getting any ever. Its even worse now that Frankie’s apparently living here, because that means I’ve got three other living beings in the house at once: him, Negriss, and Finnian.

The odds of me getting walked in on during any masturbation I might attempt are _astronomical_ , even _with_ the size of the place!

Rrgh, _again_.

I think I may actually have to lock myself in a _closet_ just to jerk off. Worse yet, it’ll have to be a near air-tight closet because otherwise, the two bestial guests of my house, if they for any reason decided to seek me out, could just slither/crawl right under the door.

FUCK MY LIFE.


	66. 3/7/09

**3/7/09-**

I has a happy!

So, I was woken up _very_ early this morning, grumbling and annoyed, until I realized just _who’d_ woken me up.

Chase had dropped in for a booty call!

THANK GOD.

So fucking commenced almost immediately. I had no idea he could get me ready so damn quick, but I guess it comes from not getting any in two days (I know I’ve said it before, but DAMN I must be a good lay if Chase didn’t at least make do with Wuya).

Lucky for me we didn’t stop until after at least four times, because I doubt I would’ve been able to think about anything but sex until then anyways. Two days is a surprisingly long time in which to not have any sex considering up until last month I was entirely fine with spending _years_ without it.

Sometime around then, Chase decided he was curious as to why my bed wasn’t my actual bed in my actual room and was a cot in the basement.

I tried to pass it off like I liked the basement better (and I do) and that it’s more convenient that way when I’m working on a project (which it is). _Anything_ just to avoid bringing Francis up.

He knew better. “So it isn't because your new sibling has intimidated you?”

I had an internal, ‘Aw, sonuva _bitch_ ,’ moment about then, but as I was dreading, Chase wasn’t done.

Chase: Yes, Spicer, I know about young Mr. Stone. I checked in on you a couple of times. My, my... the Spicer red hair, the facial features, and the voice. Your father has been rather _busy_.

Me: I'm gonna have him _castrated_ , swear to _fucking_ God-

Chase: That's nice. So... how do you feel about threesomes?

I lost it. I just started ranting on how I think of threesomes, which is one of my TOP THREE SEXUAL FUCK-NOs.

It just…it squicks me, I guess. It’s like with regular sex, its just two people that have this…relationship with each other of giving and taking pleasure, and its intimate and more enjoyable because of that. In two-person sex, it’s a lot about making sure the other person is enjoying whatever you’re doing as much as you are, hence the infamous sex-question, “Do you like that?”

With a threesome, it’s just so… _impersonal_. Now you’ve gotta focus on whether what you’re doing feels good to _two_ other people, and the experience is less personalized. The question at that point would be turned into, “Do you like that? Oh, and how about you; do _you_ like that, too?”

And then what if they _don’t_? You certainly can’t keep doing whatever it is you were doing because one person isn’t getting any pleasure from that, but the other is. It forces a decision between the two people you’re having sex with: do I like Person A enough to force Person B to participate in something that grosses him out, or do I like Person B better and would rather Person A die of blue-balls over there while I make B happy with what _they_ like?

That was the summary of what I ranted about to Chase, and that’s about where I stopped, too, because I realized exactly what he’d been implying with asking the whole threesome thing where he did.

He was asking about a threesome with Francis.

I lost it again. This time I didn’t even stay on the cot with him, because I just…I couldn’t stand to be near him right then.

I basically had a tantrum, but I think it was justified. I just didn’t think it was fair that my goddamn _half-brother_ is just like me but has everything I ever wanted (the attitude, the powers, the not-freaky looks, the fighter’s body) _and_ he now gets to have Chase, too.

Before I was totally aware of what happened, I was on my back and pressed into the sheets of my real bed.

I struggled, I yelled at him, I called him all sorts of nasty names that I think I’m starting to regret now that it’s over, and he just held me down.

Chase: You are panicking over nothing, Spicer. You have said no to threesomes. Therefore, that means I must choose between one of you-

Me: He has a boyfriend! Some geek of his own back in wherever the fuck he hails from!

Chase: If you're _quite_ finished, you saying no to threesomes means I must choose between the two of you. I choose _you_ , Jack Spicer.

I couldn’t help it. I laughed.

C’mon, ‘I choose you’? How could I _not_ have thought of Pokémon?

But, after I calmed down from LOL’ing, I turned to Chase (he’d gotten off of me and was laying there like, “Ugh. I had sex with this idiot?”) and snuggled up against him.

Me: Really me?

Chase: *petting hair (I _LOVE_ THAT, BTW)* Really you.

Me: _Why_?

Chase: You are not a strong, foul-tempered fire user. Fucking you is not like fucking a carbon copy of myself.

Me: …

Chase: Jack... if I were to try to seduce your brother-

Me: _Half-_ brother.

Chase: -half-brother, then I would constantly have to fight to keep him submissive to me. He would constantly be trying to top me. I do not want to be topped. I prefer to be the one doing the penetrating. That is why I prefer you, Spicer. You are perfectly submissive to me, and I appreciate that.

Me: *wanting to petulantly point out that he still thinks Francis is sexier than me, but refraining because HAIR-PETTING, YES*

Chase: Too bad about the no-to-threesomes. I had this plan for having Spicer Twins. I was going to ask Stone if he would let me use my magic to temporarily turn his skin pure white and his eyes red...

And then I had a serious happy because he could’ve just as easily made it so that I got Frankie’s coloring, but he picked mine. _Mine_.

He said it himself that we have the same facial features and the same hair and voice; our only differences are the coloring, age, musculature, and my brain.

I know Chase likes my brain. He’s proven it on many occasions, particularly fucking me for a job well done on a Tech Wu.

I know he doesn’t care about my age, because the fact that I’m seventeen (eighteen next month!) hasn’t interfered with our sex in the least.

He’s already openly said that he didn’t care that I wasn’t strong because it gave him contrast from himself.

And just then, Chase said (in a round-about way) that he likes my coloring better than Francis’s.

Was I _not_ supposed to fuck/suck/fondle his brains out?

Apparently, we got too loud at one point, because Frankie came by and yelled at us through the door to quiet down.

I had a vindictive thrill when Chase responded to that comment by making me come with a veritable banshee-shriek, thereby proving to me that he’d rather have me than him.

So, we pretty much spent the morning/afternoon together just fucking and getting reacquainted after the eternally-long _two days_ we had to not screw each other, but unfortunately, I can’t go back to live with him just yet.

Seems Rai’s stalking Chase, now, just _waiting_ to catch him in the act of…well, anything sexually-incriminating with me, and Chase doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

He said he’d probably be back tomorrow, though, so I am appeased.

In the time from when Chase left to when Frankie’s brotherly instincts for some reason reared up at fully-realizing I was having sex and he warned me about protection and such (it was a short conversation, thankfully) to when I finally got down to the lab with Finnian, I’ve managed to finish up the Tech Eye of Dashi.

The _primary_ function I’m keeping for myself, at least; the taser. I’m still figuring out how to work in a self-powering energy source into something small enough to be convenient to modern (ancient by my standards) machines.

Tomorrow for that, definitely. Then, I shall be rolling in money ( _my_ money; can’t get over how awesome that is!).

I’ve gotta say, I’m looking forward to tomorrow!


	67. 3/8/09

**3/8/09-**

EXTORTION. I CALL EXTORTION!

I will summarize my day quickly so I can explain that remark further.

So, woke up this morning, had sex with Chase (who showed up for some sex, obviously) for a couple of hours, Frankie got pissy and told us to quiet down again (I’m a screamer, gimme a break!), and Chase and I got the same mental image at the same time.

“Knock it off in there, you crazy kids, I’m trying to watch my stories!”

I naturally mocked him in such a way before coming spectacularly and being flipped onto my stomach for more sex.

I didn’t think anything of it because I heard him walk away, but I neglected to realize that Francis Stone does not _always_ get mad.

Sometimes he gets even.

I only discovered this several hours later when I went downstairs to work on the Tech Eye of Dashi and found him casually leafing through my journal.

Before I could even think of yelling at him about an invasion of personal space or demand it back, he said, “I want in.”

I was confused.

Key verb, _was_ , as I am not anymore after he explained that he’d read the last couple of entries (and a couple of further back ones to determine from context clues exactly what the Shen Gong Wu are) and knew of my plan to replicate the Eye of Dashi into the self-powering energy source in the interest of seriously reducing pollution and making boatloads of cash.

Francis wants 40%, which I suppose is better than splitting it 50-50, but _still_ …!

I _tried_ to say no. I _tried_ to find some way I could talk him out of it.

I failed miserably.

When I tried to get him to back off of it, he picked me up by the collar (all the way off the _ground_ ) and raised a burning fist in threatening. As I realized, ‘Hey, look, fire an inch away from my face; just like Universal Studios,’ he said in plain and simple terms that I was going to give him a cut of any money I raked in off of the Tech EOD or he was going to hurt me.

Naturally, I agreed. Once I finish this thing, we’ll be splitting the profits 60-40 indefinitely.

When Chase came back a couple hours after that for some more sex, I tried to see if he’d help me out and get Francis to back off, but he A) was laughing too hard at how easily Frankie (a guy with a third of my IQ) had manipulated me and B) thought it would be a good ‘bonding experience’ for my half-brother and I to go into business together.

That smug _bastard_. I’d cut him off for a couple of days if I didn’t think he’d drop me entirely if I did it.

Urgh…I’m gonna get back to the Tech EOD…

Now to hope no _other_ illegitimate siblings come out of the woodwork and try to extort money out of me!


	68. 3/9/09

**3/9/09-**

Dammit. I’m annoyed. My half-brother, with an intelligence quotient of 96 in comparison to my 312, has made a sound, logical argument for why we should be in this Tech EOD enterprise together that I had not even considered.

RAWR.

So, this morning, Chase showed up for the usual morning sexing (I asked him to _at least_ sound-proof my room so Frankie doesn’t get pissed again, to which he agreed), and he said that he was probably going to move me back in tomorrow seeing as he’d recently humiliated Rai and doubted he’d be back again soon.

One definite good thing about today.

So then, later, as I’m going down to the lab to finish up the last bit of the Tech EOD, Frankie stops me and we sit down to have a little chat.

That’s about where he made his sound, logical point that made me feel extremely inadequate as a genius for not even considering it.

He pointed out to me that building/marketing this would make me a worldwide success, but that it would piss a _lot_ of people off, particularly people whose economies are almost entirely reliant on the oil that I’m aiming to replace as a power-source (*cough*MiddleEast*cough*).

Frankie said, in essence, that I _need_ to have him as a business partner, because if I don’t, people are just going to see me and think, ‘wimpy albino kid; easy target.’ With him around, radiating his aura of ‘badassness and asskickery,’ people will be less likely to pick a fight.

Even _less_ likely, he said, if I could coax Chase into being around the two of us in public appearances so _his_ aura of ‘holy fuck, evil monster’ could scare all but the craziest and stupidest idiots out of assassination attempts.

I _hated_ admitting he was right, but…he was right.

So, I said fine, we could be business partners, but there was _no way in hell_ I was budging on my 60-40 stance, even for family.

Frankie laughed, clapped me on the shoulder and said ‘Fine with me,’ before wandering off someplace else.

I have officially finished the Tech EOD’s power-source function as of now, but I’m not going to market it just yet. If I do (being seventeen), my parents have a good legal basis to take it from me ‘for safe keeping’ only to mismanage it like they’re currently doing with their own money. I think Dad made some bad investments or something, because even though it's only a little, I’ve noticed a decline in the Spicer finances.

It’s a good thing I’m about to stop relying on them and begin making my own money, ‘cause I get the feeling Mom and Dad are on the verge of a ‘crash and burn’.

Anyways, the thing’s done, but I’m not going to market it publicly or privately until my birthday comes next month. That way, I’ll be considered my own man _officially_ in almost all the countries in the world (at least all the ones I intend to market it to) and my parents will have no legal basis _anywhere_ for taking any of my money because it will, in fact, be _my_ money…

…and Frankie’s, too, I guess.

BUT. So. That part of it's on hold for awhile until April rolls around. I’ll be back living with Chase sooner rather than later, and…

Well, that’s about it.


	69. 3/10/09

**3/10/09-**

I didn’t quite know it was possible, but I has both a happy _and_ an amused!

So, Chase took me back to live with him (YESPLZ) and told me he wanted to indulge in a very recent fantasy, to which I immediately agreed.

We ‘ported to his garden (which is _beautiful_ , by the way, absolutely _gorgeous_ ) and he pushed me to the ground into a bed of lilies and had his evil everlord-way with me.

I don’t know why, but it was particularly arousing when I realized that he would rather ruin his amazingly beautiful garden (the whole crushed bed of lilies, the uprooted grass from the thrusting and the heels/elbows digging into the ground, etc.) than not have sex with me at that moment.

He can probably just poof it back to the way it was with his magic anyways, but at the time, it was hot.

So we finish up there and Chase pulls me onto his lap and starts kissing me, biding his time until I’m ready to go again in a minute or two, and…

…well, quite suddenly, we weren’t alone in the garden.

Turns out Rai had _not_ , in fact, learned from whatever humiliation Chase had given him and had still been stalking about looking for proof that we were fucking.

He got it, alright, if seeing me naked, sweaty, and panting with come dripping from my ass and sitting in Chase’s lap (who also happened to be naked and sweaty) counts as proof.

The guy went nuts, though. He started ranting rather crazily about how he knew it all along and Chase _had_ been scamming behind his back, and how dare he do this to him, that evil bastard, ragga-fragga, nobody-gives-a-shit.

Chase stayed perfectly calm in that way only he has and informed Rai that he could not have been ‘scamming’ because the two of them were never in a relationship and that all they’d had was sex, ‘precisely as Spicer and I have right now.’

I almost started laughing in spite when Chase pointed out that the only real difference between our relationships was that I didn’t turn into an uppity bitch about it and start entertaining illusions of grandeur.

Rai pretty much fumed at that and I could tell Chase was about three seconds from ‘porting him away, so I threw my two cents in.

My two cents was that Chase and I actually _hadn’t_ been fucking until Rai started wrecking my shit and trying to kill me, at which point, I told him, Chase dumped his dumb ass and got with me.

Knowing that this whole thing was _his_ fault…I thought his _head_ would explode, he looked so pissed!

So immediately after I said it, Chase ‘ported Rai away like I thought he would and he went to kiss me before we would have some more sex.

It was a dangerous move, but I said no and told him I wanted to see what Rai was doing right then first because I knew what he was going to do and I knew it’d be _awesome_.

Luckily, Chase trusted me enough to hear me out on it, even if he was a little pissed off about it.

So in two seconds flat, he’s sitting in his throne, me on his lap, and we’re both looking at Raimundo via his Eye-Spy Orb.

The dumbass did _exactly_ what I thought he was gonna do.

He went completely batshit back at the temple and started running around, getting the rest of the losers together and telling them all about his battle plan, that Chase and I were screwing and that we had to be stopped.

It was around then that the other monks started questioning just why they cared if we were fucking; that it had nothing to do with anything (if it was a little shocking), and then hey, why wasn’t Raimundo glad that Chase wasn’t going to molest him anymore now that he had me to do that to, and how’d Rai know anyways?

Rai’s so fucking stupid! He let on to _all_ of his goody two-shoes buddies that he liked fucking Chase and wanted to keep doing it and that he’d been stalking him for the past couple of days with that very intent!

I think it was a full twenty minutes before Chase and I stopped laughing at him for inadvertently confessing all that shit and getting himself saddled with three straight weeks of kitchen duty (which he hates).

Trying to catch my breath, I had my head against his chest, still watching Rai mope off to do his new chores, when Chase idly commented that sitting in his throne with me in his lap, watching the result of one of his evil deeds made him feel like some kind of wicked, supernatural king and that I was his loyal whore.

I think I surprised him by looking up and asking, “Isn’t that what we are already?”

After that he ordered me onto my knees to suck him off from his throne (more king/whore fantasy stuff that was _hot_ ) and then we disappeared to my bed (in his palace, _yay_ not in the mansion anymore!) to screw like rabbits.

All in all, it was a good day.


	70. 3/11/09

**3/11/09-**

I…feel dirty, actually. To put it in an extremely simplified and childish terminology, I have been naughty today.

So, this morning Chase invited me down to breakfast, at which point he explained that for awhile, he’d been working with Katnappé on this dragon-cloning project because there are only three dragons _in the world_ which is totally bad for his situation of Lao Máng Lóng.

Only recently, however, had it gotten to a point where actual cloning can be potentially done soon, and so he said that he would be gone most of today checking up on/handling that.

Consequently, he also told me, considering how easily bored I am and not wanting his palace destroyed in a freak-accident, that I was allowed out for the day; y’know, a girl’s day out, only with a penis.

So right after breakfast, he left and I decided I would go find a mall to hang out at considering I haven’t been in awhile and I’m a teenager and that’s what we’re known for.

I also decided to try a new look. I mean, I’m a goth, but I’ve never gone _full-out_ goth before (piercings, chains, collars, etc.). Considering I don’t care much about what other people think, I decided I’d give the full-goth look a shot while Chase was gone and wouldn’t mock me if I looked stupid.

I dug around through my closet and found some bondage pants (buckles, chains, zippers, the works), a fishnet sleeveless shirt, my signature gloves, a spiked collar, and to top it all off, my goggles but around my neck. I left my hair down (as in not pushed back by my goggles like usual) today because it’s been getting a little shaggy and I thought it looked pretty cool like that, anyways.

I set out around ten-ish, found a mall around noonish and commenced hanging out.

And that’s about where my being naughty came in.

I was browsing through some t-shirts in Hot Topic that I liked and cue classic chick-flick moment, my hand brushes against somebody else’s.

His name was Allen. After we both did the ‘omigosh, I’m sorry’ thing, he invited me to lunch to make up for it, and I, like a total idiot, agreed.

I don’t know what I was thinking to agree to it! I mean, for a full hour, I didn’t even _think_ about Chase; it was all Allen and his pretty blue hair/eyes and that sexy lip-piercing he had…

But anyways, we went out (my first date!) and he was so sweet and charming, and he told me how cute I looked and that I was an excellent conversationalist, and-

I think that’s what I liked about him. He complimented me a lot and I could tell it wasn’t just to get into my pants: he was just a really sweet guy that _liked me_.

We talked for awhile, found out we both like the same bands and a whole bunch of other stuff we have in common, and…

I really _don’t_ know when we started making out. The point is that we did. We made out. Furiously. For a good twenty minutes.

It was only _after_ that twenty minutes that I abruptly remembered Chase and realized I would have to go home to him soon lest he come find me and likely kill the both of us, so I stopped trying to shove my tongue down Allen’s throat for five seconds and said I _really_ had to go, but I was glad we bumped into each other and thanks for the nice time.

He was really cool about it. He didn’t get all mad about me bailing on him so suddenly or demand I stay; he just handed me his phone number and said that since he wasn’t all that big on the dating scene, I could call him any time if I ever wanted and we could meet for another date.

I don’t know why I agreed to go out with him to begin with. I don’t know why I started kissing him. I don’t know why I _kept_ his number.

But I did.

I felt terrible. I still do. I feel even worse for getting away with it by brushing my teeth three or four times and rubbing the sheets of my bed on myself to make sure Allen’s scent wasn’t on me anywhere. Chase would’ve killed him if he knew.

I guess I did a good enough job with it because when Chase got home a couple hours after I did, he didn’t say anything and just tackled me to the floor for looking so sexy as an all-out goth.

I think at some point, he might’ve been a little suspicious, because he paused for half a second when he was kissing me, but if he _did_ suspect anything, he didn’t call me on it, so…

Wait…why do I feel guilty about this, again?

Oh my God…I just realized I’ve been thinking of Chase as my _boyfriend_ this whole time, which he is _not_. We’re just fuck-buddies.

 _Cannot_ go the way of Crazy Rai and get demanding like that.

I really _shouldn’t_ feel bad about this, ‘cause I’m Chase’s whore; not his boyfriend. Besides, I didn’t even screw the guy, we just made out!

In all fairness, I’m entirely single.

*sigh* But if that’s true, why do I still feel like I betrayed Chase somehow?


	71. 3/12/09

**3/12/09-**

I’ve managed to almost completely put Allen out of my mind at this point, even though a subtle niggling of guilt has still been gnawing at my brain all day.

I’ve put _that_ little bit out of my mind by doing a bunch of unrelated stuff, which has worked pretty well so far.

This morning, I asked Chase’s permission to leave the palace for a couple of hours. He asked why (and if I didn’t know better, I’d say he was highly _against_ me going anywhere).

I confirmed with him that we were going to do the Jetbootsu next for the Wu project and told him that I’d started a similar project _ages_ ago and would like it around for when the Jetbootsu is actually given to me because it would make the whole thing marginally easier.

Chase calmed down at that and said it was okay so I grabbed my GTC gloves and ‘ported back into my lab to find the old and unfinished project in a corner somewhere. I could’ve just gone back to the Mountain from there, but I hadn’t seen Francis in a few days, and to be honest, I wanted to see how he was doing.

Besides that, I think I wanted to be sans Chase for awhile because…well, guilt.

So in any case, I went upstairs and looked for awhile until I found Frankie in the living room watching the news. Not the local news, by the way; the news for some place called Dakota. I saw two guys flying around on patrol or something (I assume them to be superheroes with powers similarly acquired as Frankie’s) before I was noticed, and I’m almost positive the blond one with the vision-focusing visor (of which I’m sure it is) was Frankie’s boyfriend; he was inadvertently making bedroom eyes at the TV, so _pretty_ sure about that.

But anyways, he noticed me, and BEAR-HUG CENTRAL. Apparently, I was missed.

He demanded to know where I’d been, I told him I was living with Chase and would likely be going back to do the same very soon, and he eventually said it was fine but that I’d have to give him warning before just disappearing and he’d appreciate it if I dropped by every now and again because _holy fuck_ the mansion is empty as hell of people.

Don’t I know it: I _grew up_ in the empty-as-hell mansion. I thought my mom (who only really visited once every couple of days and then once a week until I became self-sufficient to make sure I wasn’t dead) was the only other person in the world until I was four.

Aside from that sad fact, I didn’t totally want to go back to the Mountain yet, so I challenged Frankie to a two-person game of Gears of War 2 in the game-room, to which he agreed.

We kicked _ass_ as a tag-team. We beat the whole fucking game in _a third_ of the time it took me on my own, and Frankie said he’d _never_ beat it before, so we had our first sibling “FUCK YEAH!” moment, and just hung out in the game-room for awhile.

He ended up playing Grand Theft Auto whatever-the-hell-version-it-was and I migrated over to the brand-spanking-new DDR, _which I rocked_.

I think the funnest was that one song by Rihanna. I can't remember the nam--DISTURBIA! Yeah, that one. That was fun. I got all ‘perfect’s and even hit the sensors in creative ways (like bending over backwards to touch the back one with my hand instead of my foot) just because I was into it.

Frankie commented on how faggoty a fag I was being and I told him to go fuck his TV-boyfriend before bending almost in half (from a handstand, by the way) to tap the front-right pad with the tip of my toe before fully coming down into the splits and getting both of the side ones.

Another “FUCK YEAH!” moment for me, but Frankie ignored it and shot eight guys in the head before stealing a Camaro.

So, anyways, we did that for a couple of hours before I bid him farewell, he answered with a ‘whatever,’ and I grabbed the unfinished Jetbootsu-like project before heading back to Chase…

…only to be thrown to the bed the second I got out of the wormhole.

Apparently, Chase had been watching me and had seen my display of flexibility during the DDR.

Chase likes. He likes very much.

He adequately proved that many times over. And over and over and over again, as a matter of fact.

About half-way through, he came to a realization that I thought was equally ludicrous when he mentioned it.

We’ve never done it in the 69-position.

How the fuck was that even _possible_?! After _all_ the sex we’ve had, we didn’t-

In any case, though, that statement was made false. Very, very false. I also think I have a new favorite position, on that note; YAY, 69!

But so we fucked for awhile, and I guess I fell asleep because the next thing I know, its 3:00 AM and I’m snuggled up against a sleeping Chase Young.

He let me sleep in his bed! _His_ bed!

I didn’t stay there, though. I wriggled out of his iron-grip somehow and snuck back to my own bed because I didn’t want to make any assumptions that I was welcome there for things other than sex.

I’m entirely stunned he didn’t wake up at all when I left. I know he wouldn’t have necessarily let me know he was awake if he was, but I’m almost sure he was out cold. That’d explain why he let me sleep in his bed, too, if he’d conked out as hard as I had from all the sex and hadn’t even cared enough to send me back to my own bed.

Anyways, now that I’m back in my own room and not intruding upon Chase’s personal space, I think I’m going to go back to sleep.


	72. 3/13/09

**3/13/09** -

Today was fun; very fun, indeed!

So, this morning I woke up again, _extremely_ relaxed from yesterday’s near-constant fucking, and I took all of two awake-minutes to acknowledge what had inadvertently brought about all that fucking and decided that I would very much like the DDR moved to somewhere in Chase’s palace.

At breakfast, I was about to mention it when Chase casually informed me that he’d retrieved the Jetbootsu for me, that they were down in my lab, and oh, it appeared that the cupcakes are running low and could I make another batch or ten; something he hasn’t had before?

I thought about that for a second and named a type of cupcake called the Nasturtian. He has not had it before, so color me surprised! I explained to him what it was: A basic vanilla cupcake recipe with grated orange rind in the mix and about a tablespoon of orange juice from that exact orange then garnished with a Nasturtian blossom and occasionally some leaves.

That was established as a definite want, especially when I mentioned they were most often served with orange pekoe or jasmine flower tea (he _is_ a man who enjoys his tea; throw cupcakes in the mix, and YES), so I plan to make a couple of batches for his enjoyment sometime tomorrow so they can be enjoyed fresh and maybe outside in the garden.

So then once that was out of the way, I asked if I could stop back by the mansion again.

Chase: So eager to leave me lately, Spicer. What could possibly have you running back home _again_ when you were just there yesterday?

Me: I wanna bring the DDR here.

Chase: Fetch it quickly, will you?

Anyways, I went and on the way to the game-room, I encountered Frankie. Apparently, he was bored as hell and demanded to come along so he could see where the guy I’m banging lives.

I figured he’d be helpful in shoving the DDR through the GTC gloves’ wormhole, so I said fine, he could visit for the day, but he could NOT BURN ANYTHING UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

Frankie reluctantly agreed; he really _was_ bored all by himself.

But so we get back to the palace with the DDR stashed in my lab for future awesome yayness times to be had by all, and I bring Francis upstairs to be a look of the actual palace.

He was impressed, but considering the size and magnificence of the damn thing as a whole, I’d have been just as impressed if I hadn’t been used to it by now.

Chase pulled his ‘show-up-out-of-nowhere’ trick and casually greeted us before asking me why Frankie was here. I told him he helped me move the DDR into the basement and that I didn’t think a five-minute tour for his trouble would hurt anything.

Lucky for me, he agreed to that, but he asked me to, in the future, okay inviting guests into his home with him beforehand. That’s completely fair; it _is_ his house, after all.

So, Frankie gets the five-minute tour and, out of nowhere, the monks show up!

Apparently, they’d _just_ noticed their Wu has been going missing. Dumbasses.

They’d tried my house first because I used to do the Wu Vault raids all the time and Wu disappearing from the Vault apparently turned into my calling card despite the fact that I haven’t done it in a good year.

But anyways, they’d gone to my house, found it empty and now that they knew Chase and I were actively screwing, they decided to check the Mountain next, which is where I actually _did_ happen to be.

They started bitching me out immediately (particularly Rai) about how I was a low-down dirty snake and cheat to just go stealing their Wu right from under their noses…

…that is, until I interjected with the fact that _Chase_ has been stealing their Wu for me and that I haven’t been anywhere near the temple in months.

Then their tune changed (especially Rai’s). They mostly seemed surprised that _Chase_ had been _stealing_ their Wu, but I mean…c’mon, folks: EVIL. He is EVIL. EVIL everlord. EVIL dragon-monster. EVIL hombre.

You’re gonna put stealing past someone who is EVIL just because they have an honor-code in terms of combat?

BUT. So. A fight was clearly about to happen. I doubt the monks would’ve questioned any form of fairness and taken Chase on all four at once simply because it would’ve given them an advantage.

Or, at least, they would’ve had Francis not taken the moment to interrupt.

Frankie: Who the fuck’re these douchebags?

Me: They’re the Xiaolin monks. The good guys. They’re the ones we’ve been taking the Wu from so I can use it for the thing (I was purposefully being vague; the monks don’t need to know about the Wu-replicas _just_ yet).

Frankie: Really? _They’re_ the good guys? With the names they’re throwing at the two of you, I’d have guessed _they’re_ the bad guys.

Monks: *balk at the implication that they’re anything but perfect like they always do* …wait…who the hell are you?

Me: That’s Frankie. He’s my big brother…apparently.

Kimiko: Oh, this’ll be easy, then! Another weakling Spicer to whoop! *gears up fire*

Frankie: …Seriously with this? *makes Kimiko’s fire explode in her hands, knocking her out and back a couple of feet*

Me: And that’s why assuming makes an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me.’

LOLs were had, monks fled in shame upon realizing that not only had I already become able to kick their ass, but my brother, within mere minutes of meeting them for the first time, had called them on the hypocrisy and pwned them quite soundly.

Chase also mentioned that Frankie was welcome in his home whenever he chose to visit so long as he didn’t set anything (besides the monks) on fire, in which case he would personally skin him and use his hide as a rug for just before the fireplace (oh, the irony!).

Well, anyways, Francis stayed for dinner before leaving via my GTC gloves (I showed him how they worked and let him open the wormhole before taking them back) and Chase quite abruptly slammed me against the wall and said something to the effect of, “I thought he’d never leave; I haven’t had you _all_ day!”

Sex was had up against the wall and then in a couple of other positions before I said I was tired and was sent off to bed, from where I now write this.

I really _am_ tired though, so on that note, this particular entry is over.


	73. 3/14/09

**3/14/09-**

I have had a very mweeful day today!

Today, actually, was the closest thing I’ve ever had to a date with Chase (that’s not to say I’m considering it as such!).

So last night, I was woken up after only four or five hours of sleep because Chase ‘needed to make use of me urgently.’ He magicked my wrists to the headboard and told me quite frankly that he would fuck me until _he_ was satisfied and that there was nothing I could do about it.

I had no problem with that, really (loves me some Chase-cock, after all), but I asked why the rush anyways.

Chase: *shudder* Wuya…

Me: Oh my God, you poor thing. I’m _so_ sorry I wasn’t awake.

Seriously, though…that’s just like the bitch to take advantage of Chase because he’s horny and she’s the only one around for sex.

I might’ve gone outside my jurisdiction in using my Biowar-bot again, but I’d like to see her try to unfairly seduce Chase with a severe case of Yellow Jack (also known as yellow fever, but I prefer the former nomenclature)!

She’ll probably be off somewhere for the next couple of days finding a vaccine from someplace, ‘cause she’s sure as hell not getting one here.

So! After all that hullabaloo, I set about making that batch of Nasturtian cupcakes and a pot of orange pekoe tea, at which Chase was pleased immensely.

He _almost_ had me right there on the floor, I could see it in his eyes, but he decided against it; probably didn’t want the tea and cupcakes to go to waste.

I was surprised that _Chase_ was the one to suggest going to the garden to eat them as I was almost positive I’d have to awkwardly coax him into agreeing to it, and I was even further pleasantly surprised, when I’d set the plate of cupcakes down onto a table in the garden, poured Chase a cup of tea, and was about to leave, that he asked me to stay and share the cupcakes/tea with him!

*cue mental squeal of joyness*

But so we just sat in the garden for awhile and talking about nothing in particular. It was really just _pleasant_ overall. He complimented me on my baking skills again, and brought up that I would make an excellent geisha with my already-white skin and ability to entertain and serve (not sexually, ‘cause geishas don’t do that; more the conversation and the tea and the food thing).

It was only _after_ all the tea and cupcakes were gone that he pounced me to the grass and had his way with me several times before moving us to his bedroom and having me several _more_ times.

Sometime towards the end of the night, when we’d pretty much fucked ourselves silly and Chase was actually relaxed enough to just lay there and catch his breath instead of pawing at me for more sex, I told him explicitly that if he ever needed to fuck and I’d gone to sleep or something, for God’s sakes, _wake me up_!

He’s an evil warlord; he should have no qualms with shaking me out of slumber and demanding I bend over for him, _especially_ considering that I’d be perfectly fine with it if he did.

Besides… _nobody_ should have to suffer with Wuya. Ever. _EVER_.

But he laughed a little bit when I said that and he told me he’d definitely keep that in mind, but for the moment, would I like to sleep with him for a bit?

YES. YESPLZ.

So I got to sleep in Chase Young’s bed for a second time, and this time, he _invited_ me to!

*cue mental squee of joyness _again_!*

Still, it was only afternoon around then, so I didn’t spend the night or anything, but whatever.

We woke up a couple hours later (or rather, he woke me up a couple hours later; not that I’m complaining) for some more sexing, and then after making sure he was good for at least an hour or two with a very enthusiastic blowjob, I went down to the lab to see what I could do about the Jetbootsu.

Not much, apparently. I have the same lackluster thing going on for it as I did when I started the project forever ago. I think it’s because I _know_ I can do it so easily that its no challenge and I really don’t care about it.

Anyways, then dinner, then some more Chase-sexing, then a quick break, more Chase-sexing, and then finally I was told Chase’d be good for the night and that I could go to bed if I want to.

After all the damn sex today ( _love_ it, but tiring in excessive doses), I think I want to.


	74. 3/15/09

ST. PATRICK'S DAY IS COMING.

I wouldn’t need a calendar to tell me that, either: it is in my blood. I _know_ when St. Patrick’s Day is coming because I just _do_.

Weird considering I’m only _a fourth_ Irish on Dad’s side. You’d think the half-German and fourth-Norwegian would dilute it to the extent that I wouldn’t just _know_ that.

ANYWAYS! I mention that it’s coming soon because I _desperately_ want to celebrate it with Chase somehow. Not a date, _not_ a date; I just want to be around him, having fun (preferably _mutual_ fun) with maybe a bit of drinking involved (hey, it’s the reason for the season!).

So, I decided to get clever in proposing that and my _really_ evil side tends to come through when I get clever.

I got him to agree to spend the day out with me…by making him promise it during sex.

I seriously _am_ an evil genius; its not just noise and bravado, so let the record show this as truth!

Anyways, though, we were in the middle of fucking (it happened to be reverse-cowgirl style at the time), and I brought it up when I realized I was getting close to coming.

Why, yes, by the way, I _did_ think it up in the heat of the moment and hadn’t planned it ahead of time! Thank you for noticing!

So I brought it up that I wanted to spend the day out with Chase on St. Patrick’s Day having fun. He pretty much just grunted in acknowledgment, so I kept pressing for it, slowing down a little bit every time he didn’t answer.

He caught on pretty quick what I was doing and he realized I wanted a _solid_ answer or I’d stop completely (which I’m pretty sure was a ‘do not want’ at the time), so he outright told me that no, he would not go on a _date_ with me simply because I felt some kind of obligation to do so being a fraction Irish.

I didn’t slow down the pace any more, but I promised him that it would not be a date in any sense of the word and that I just wanted to have a night out and that I would really like it if he would come along.

He said no again, so I decided to get _really_ evil and use what I know of his weaknesses against him.

I said that that was fine, but that if he wouldn’t agree to tag along, I might decide I really didn’t want to be having sex with him at that very moment and that, oh, did you know that its still considered rape if someone consents to have sex and then at some point in them middle changes their mind and the other person won’t stop?

 _That_ got his attention. He’s the biggest opponent of rape I’ve ever met, and even _implying_ that he would rape someone (in this particular case, me) squicks him something terrible.

I felt so fucking _powerful_ when he completely froze, his eyes burning a hole in the back of my head for a minute before he promised to do it.

Of course, he made me pay for it later with plenty of rough sex that’s definitely going to make sitting down impossible for a couple of days, but you know…I got what I wanted in a double dosage that way: he’s given me his word he’ll escort me out somewhere on St. Patty’s Day _and_ he fucked me several times; not so much of a punishment.

But so that’s set for then, anyways, and fairly soon after I was promptly smacked on the ass and ordered to be a good little whore and go make him some strawberry and chocolate cupcakes.

I really _do_ love it when he talks dirty to me.

I obeyed his command, of course, but only after a bit of deep-throating to show him how _much_ I love the dirty-talk.

So, I made the cupcakes in short order, brought them to Chase (he liked them very much, but what else is new?), and it was around then that he questioned my progress on the Tech Jetbootsu.

All I could tell him was that I was _totally_ not inspired to work on them and did my best to explain my process as to _why_ I find myself not giving a shit about it (too easy, not challenged, etc.).

At that, he promptly tossed me to the bed, sucked my cock, made me suck his twice, fucked me once and then sent me down to the lab with the encouragement that if I got at least half-way through it, then he would actually make an _effort_ to enjoy taking me out on St. Patty’s Day.

I got _70_ % done; HELL yeah, bitch!

After that, Chase and I went to have dinner and guess who came to said dinner?

Wuya.

She was still sick (as expected), but she was probably in the recession stage, the period of time where the symptoms recede for a little bit only to return stronger than full-force and usually cause internal bleeding/death. The bitch was staggering on her feet and complaining about her headache, back pains, chills, fever, all that crap, before she outright _demanded_ I fix her.

I’m proud of myself: my evil shone through again.

Without even standing up from the table or looking at Chase for advice I told her no, I would not fix her if she kept talking to me like I was trash or the dog-crap on her shoe and did my best not to laugh at the look on her face when I offhandedly told her that about 50% of the people infected with what I’d given her died soon after the stage she was in right then.

She actually _begged_ after that; seriously _begged_ , like _hands-and-knees_ begged me to give her the vaccination for it.

I decided she was sufficiently humiliated (begging like a dog to _me_ in front of Chase: that’ll do it) so I gave it to her.

Chase found it hilarious and openly mocked Wuya for her pathetic behavior before praising me for how I’d handled the situation while the witch slunk off to lick her wounds.

I has a _huge_ smug!

Chase was _so_ pleased with me right then, as a matter of fact, that he didn’t even bother with finishing dinner and dragged me off to bed to have his way with me, to which I offered no protest!

It has been a very… _evil_ day for me!

...if a sore one. XD


	75. 3/16/09

**3/16/09-**

This morning was very naughty…in an incredibly fun and evil way, of course!

I randomly woke up at about 4:00 AM (an hour or so before Chase usually wakes up) feeling frisky and almost immediately got an idea that I was sure would make for some morning fun.

It’s not too often I _wake up_ feeling playful, so I decided to go spread my good mood.

I found my GTC gloves to avoid having to make noise with door-opening and ‘ported directly into Chase’s bedroom.

He was asleep still, and even _stayed_ asleep when I snuck beneath his blankets at the foot of the bed.

Chase _did_ wake up, though, when I took his cock into my mouth.

When he made this sexy startled moan and threw the covers back to demand what the hell I thought I was doing, I got very formal and inquired, “Does a morning of fellatio not please you, my dark lord?”

I got the okay to keep going in half a second. I think even though I was a bit earlier than his usual wake-up time, he appreciated the wake-up call.

I was still too sore to actually fuck him again after getting my way yesterday, but Chase never really seems to mind making use of my mouth and hands and I _do_ love touching him.

So anyways, after the morning bedroom-romp, he said it was about time for his usual training and meditation and that I was welcome to anything in his kitchen for breakfast before he wanted me to finish up the Jetbootsu.

Bella took it upon herself to escort me to said kitchen and help me find stuff that I had trouble locating on my own (for which she was heartily rewarded with a bit of my breakfast; she’s a good cat, I figure she _deserves_ table-scraps every now and again so long as its not on a daily basis).

Now, admittedly, my specialty in culinary terms is pastries and other baked goods, but I’m no slouch outside of that, either.

I made myself a pretty nice breakfast: bacon, hash browns, pancakes, and some scrambled eggs. I even had a meat-heavy omelet ready for Chase when he finished up his training and wandered into the kitchen to replace a little bit of the proteins and fat he’d just burned off.

He informed me quite honestly that I’d just helped him to decide for certain that he’d be keeping me around for many years as his personal chef if nothing else.

*has a yeah-I’m-that-good*

Eventually, after sufficient stuffing myself with breakfast, I headed down to my lab while Chase went off to check on Katnappé’s project or whatever.

Luckily, I had a big enough burst of inspiration to finish up the last 30%, so the Tech Jetbootsu are officially done.

Unfortunately, I finished _way_ sooner than Chase got home, so I had a couple of hours to kill.

I abruptly realized that I did not have a TV in my room at Chase’s palace and remedied that almost immediately by moving the one from my old room into my new one.

I whiled away the hours until Chase reappeared with a bag of potato chips and some Mozenrath.

When Chase _did_ show up to find me lounging about lazily watching TV (after he confirmed that I had, in fact, finished the Jetbootsu like he’d ordered), he asked me what I was watching.

I described the actual show as best I could: ‘That Disney-version of the Aladdin movie turned into a crappy TV series.’ That prompted him to ask why I was watching it if it was apparently so crappy, and the object of my attentions happened to be having an ‘evil-lord’ moment on screen so I pointed him out and purred, “Mozenrath…”

Chase decided I needed to be informed that he was only a cartoon character as if I were unaware of that fact; the way he said it made me come off like a total idiot, which I thought was unnecessary.

So, I retorted very matter-of-factly, “Hey: he’s magical; he’s pretty; he’s a lord; _and_ he’s evil. That’s really about all anyone needs to get into my pants.”

He took offense to that like I was almost positive he would. I think it was that he felt personally affronted in being simplified into a list of qualities that turned me on, easily transferred from one individual to the next.

I’d essentially implied with what I’d said that if some other pretty, magical, evil lord came along, _any_ other pretty, magical, evil lord and not _just him_ , I’d immediately let the new guy fuck me.

That did not seem to sit too well with Chase. I’d say he was jealous of a cartoon character if I didn’t know better, ‘cause he immediately flicked off the TV and tackled me to the bed, marking me all over with scratch-marks and hickeys and even fucking me a couple of times even though I was still a little sore from yesterday.

I didn’t really mind much seeing as I was feeling _mostly_ better and he didn’t disappoint in terms of making sure I felt as good as he did throughout. Besides, it’s Chase: of _course_ I’ll enjoy anything he does to me.

My implication earlier? A total lie made just to get back at him for condescending to me.

It’s _Chase_ I’m attracted to, not just his qualities. Some other magical, pretty, evil lord could walk right in front of me, and I’d have my eyes on Chase the whole time. Well…maybe I’d glance for half a second (the qualities _do_ get my attention at least a little), but I wouldn’t let the new guy anywhere _near_ me so long as I’ve got Chase to play slut to.

I tried to get that point across adequately, even though I was babbling largely incoherently and shrieking his name in utter ecstasy.

So after that, Chase muttered something about what would I want with that ugly, _fictional_ sandrat when I should instead be occupied with _him_ , and I took the moment to express my point from a paragraph or so up again only this time in plain, coherent Chinese, and that seemed to appease him to the extent that he agreed to make out a little before some more sexual stuff.

He really _doesn’t_ have anything to worry about in terms of me ditching him for someone else, so hopefully he knows that now.

Anyways, sometime after the sucking and touching and fondling that happened around then, Chase, curious about my culinary skills outside of baking from this morning, asked me to prepare dinner.

Apparently I did not disappoint! Without saying a word, he finished his meal, ‘ported me to his bedroom, and yet more sexual-type fun was had!

He’s a horny bastard, but seriously, see me complaining about it!

So overall, I’d say it wasn’t a bad day!


	76. 3/17/09

**3/17/09-**

I’m not gonna lie: I got drunk. I got _pretty damn drunk_.

Lucky thing I learned how to hold my alcohol years ago when I was eight and discovered mom’s unlocked, unsupervised alcohol cabinet.

Anywho, today I stopped back home to find some clothes for the night out tonight (FUCK YEAH, ST. PATTY’S DAY), and decided on something full-out gothy considering how Chase seemed to like it before.

I ended up picking out the tightest black and green striped shirt I could find, some equally tight pants with some chains on ‘em, and a pair of boots I had lying around that both looked cool and were comfortable (can’t shake my money-maker if my feet start hurting twenty minutes into the outing, can I?).

I also found the same collar I’d worn a couple of days ago _and_ just to surprise Chase, I went out and got a leash to match it.

I’ll get to that in a minute.

But so anyways, before I could go back to the palace, Frankie caught me and stopped me to ask what I was doing tonight and I told him I was going out drinking/clubbing with Chase.

He said he had nothing better to do and wanted to come along.

I knew Chase wouldn’t be totally happy about it, but…I wasn’t totally sure if I wanted to say no. Besides, I figured he’d feel like a third-wheel ten minutes into the outing and would decide to just go home.

Anyways, I told him fine, he could come along, but as per the usual rules of hanging out with Chase and I, no burning shit.

So then, I went back to the Mountain and tried to break it to Chase as delicately as possible, but of course, he got irritated about it.

Luckily, I was able to defuse his tantrum in two minutes while, in the middle of his annoyed ranting, I clasped my collar on and he paused to ask me what I was doing. I pulled the leash out of the bag of clothes I’d brought, clipped it on, and coyly suggested that I thought me might enjoy leading his loyal dog around all night.

After that he pretty much grabbed the leash, man-handled me to the bed, and fucked me doggy-style.

I liked it; it was really kinky to have him fucking me and yanking on the leash at the same time, especially with all the canine-related things he growled sexily at me, particularly the phrase, ‘bad dog.’

I _liked_ that one.

So! Sometime later, we went out to some club or other with Frankie, who got a surprise when his boyfriend showed up out of nowhere.

Finally meeting my potential brother-in-law was actually kinda fun. His name’s Richie and he’s a super-genius, too (not as smart as me, but still, he’s no moron), so after introductions and all that, we got to talking about some scientific, mathy-type stuff. I managed to help him with some formulas he’d been having trouble with before Chase, bored by our techno babble, demanded I go out onto the dance floor and shake my ass for him.

I immediately agreed; I’m a good dancer when I wanna be, and I wanted to be.

I _was_ , too, and by the time I’d tired myself out and went back to where Chase was, I ended up dragged into his lap and having the living daylights kissed out of me for being so arousing.

Frankie was occupied with watching Richie (who’d followed my example and gone out to the dance floor to entertain his lover), so I saw no harm in dipping beneath the table and blowing my overlord just ‘cause. He offered no complaint and when the manager came over to tell me to knock it off, Chase threatened to tear his head off and pour bourbon on it before lighting it aflame. Before we could have the cops called on us, I mentioned my name and the dude buzzed off pretty quick.

Money _does_ talk.

Sometime later, Frankie decided that since it was St. Patrick’s Day and we were both of Irish heritage and brothers, it was a requirement that we get piss-drunk _hammered_ in a drinking contest.

I’m competitive about things like that, so I said bring it on, and the game was afoot.

Suffice it to say I won. Frankie only started drinking when he was fourteen; he may be older than I am now, but I had an early start with liquor, and that was reflected when, after twelve or thirteen beers, he was passed out on the table, drooling, and I was cuddled up against Chase smirking victoriously.

Really, the only _big_ effect I’ve noticed alcohol has on me is that my speech slurs a little and my coordination starts to go. I’ve never gotten so drunk that I actually start _thinking_ in an extremely impaired manner or do anything involuntary against my will in inappropriate locations.

Another one is that I turn very lovey-dovey. I am an _affectionate_ drunk.

That was also reflected in me when, as Richie gathered up his smashed boyfriend and left for the mansion, I started clinging to Chase and cooing about how much I love him and I’d do anything for him and if he wanted me to, I’d _die_ for him.

He seemed shocked at that, but even if I were sober, I couldn’t have denied it ‘cause…I meant it. More than shocked, though, he seemed like he was on a power-high, like he _liked_ it that I’d just confessed that he has such complete control over me, so I’m not even gonna bother worrying about it.

But then after that, I apologized to him for being a bitch to him these past couple of days (‘cause I know I have) and said I was just trying to be evil; that I’d just wanted to be the evil genius I’ve been calling myself for years so he would respect me.

That was true, too.

Chase handled me surprisingly well even though I was on the verge of tears, and he just kissed me and pet my hair like I like and he told me not to try and rush it; that he could tell I _was_ becoming an _evil_ genius and would get all the way there eventually, but that if I kept pissing him off by trying to push myself to do the first evil thing that came to mind (manipulating him into this outing, insulting him by comparing him to Mozenrath, etc.) I would run the risk of getting myself killed before I’m able to reach that level of maturation.

He’s got a valid point. I figure I’m gonna try and be more… _submissive_ to him from now on and only unleash that budding evil on others (Wuya, the monks… _especially_ Wuya).

So sometime after he defused my meltdown and we started making out particularly lewdly in public, Chase begged off for home (he’s an introvert by nature; not too big a fan of being out in public overall) and me, being drunk and feeling _extremely_ amorous from the alcohol and _extremely_ turned on by the kissing and the touching he’d been doing under the table, I agreed.

After that, it was pretty much a steamy, drunken blur of sex back at the palace that I remember enjoying very much and at some point after one of the _really_ good orgasms he ended up giving me, I guess I passed out ‘cause I just woke up (it’s around 2:00AM) with the need to puke and a slight hangover.

Both of those have been handled by now; I’ve already vomited and brushed my teeth to get rid of the nasty taste and, in preparation for tonight I’d gone out and got some Advil and a couple of bottles of water which I’ve put to use in reducing my headache and rehydrating myself, so I’m feeling mostly better by now.

As it is…I’m kinda… _lonely_ for some reason. I think I might stagger my way over to Chase’s room and see if he’ll let me snuggle with him for tonight.


	77. 3/18/09

**3/18/09-**

I'm not feeling so hot today.

Last night, Chase let me sleep with him so long as I didn't puke or do something involuntary in his bed, and I didn’t, so I got to stay.

I should be happier about that, but…meh.

I slept in until, like, noon, which was good because I doubt I could’ve made anything half-decent for breakfast, anyways.

Sometime around then, Chase came and found me, wanting sex.

I wasn’t in the mood, but I let him fuck me anyways and did my best to do all the stuff I know he likes while simultaneously feigning arousal.

He didn’t suspect anything until he came and realized I hadn’t and wasn’t even fully-hard.

I think Chase was insulted by that, but I swore that _it was not him_ and that were it anyone else, I wouldn’t have even got it _half-_ way up; I just wasn’t in any kind of sexual mood at all.

I guess to make himself feel more comfortable about the whole thing, he made me come a couple of times before he left to go brood somewhere or something.

I think I’m in a ‘funk’ again. That hasn’t happened in at least three years.

Oh, a ‘funk,’ by the way, was my old therapist’s euphemism for ‘clinical depression.’

Dumb bitch; call it what it is.

I hate being in a ‘funk,’ though. It makes me feel, like…numb to everything, and I can’t even throw myself into my work. Mostly I just feel like crawling into a hole somewhere and dying.

I think I’d mind it less if it was actually _triggered_ by something, but no, just random, pointless apathy that can strike at any moment.

Mmm…I should probably go home to get some anti-depressants so I don’t make any dumb suicide-attempts this time, but first…

I think I need to find Finnian for some cuddles.


	78. 3/19/09

**3/19/09-**

Chase caught me taking my meds today.

He assumed totally the wrong thing since I'd been weird yesterday and it was just a whole big clusterfuck that ended with me saying I _was not_ trying to kill myself via overdose, was in fact _preventing_ that from happening, and to leave me alone about it.

I honestly can't imagine what he'd think of me if he knew my full psychiatric track-record: three prior suicide attempts, two homicide attempts (both against former classmates and the reason, aside from genius, that I was removed from the educational system), diagnosed with histrionic personality disorder and consequently prone to the occasional burst of depression...

Ugh, he'd probably get rid of me in a heartbeat if he ever found a better lay.

That sucks. I _love_ being Chase's whore; I'd hate to get kicked out just 'cause I'm a little...off every once in a blue moon.

None of it even interferes with any aspects of my life, really: I haven't had a single homicidal thought in _at least_ a decade, and the personality disorder is no big deal; it’ssupposedly just 'attention-seeking, flair for the dramatic, putting myself in risky situations, and occasionally being easily-influenced.'

Sound familiar? That's pretty much been my life up until now, and I've survived, so I see no harm in leaving it untreated. There's not really any treatment _available_ , anyways.

As for the suicide...well, I only even _think_ about it when I'm in one of these dumb 'funks,' and the pills Ms. Doesn't-Know-Shit-About-Shit prescribed me actually help a lot: the one symptom the therapist _can_ treat.

Besides, I never succeeded before even when I lived essentially alone with no one around to call for help (my bots wouldn't go against a direct order not to save my life), so what chance would I have of succeeding in Chase's palace, with his warriors (if not him) to keep me from doing something stupid anyways? And that's only if the pills _don't_ work, which it was established that they do!

I really have no interest in dying anytime soon, to be honest. That's why I insist on taking my meds regularly when I'm like this (not often; only once every four or five years), even though I'm not a fan of having to take them: so I _don't_ stupidly kill myself over some little nothing that won't matter to me in the slightest when I get back to homeostasis or whatever.

Luckily, these 'funks' only last a couple of days for me, so it should be over soon.

Here's _hoping_.


	79. 3/20/09

**3/20/09-**

Praised be God, I actually _am_ feeling better today!

...mostly, at least. Still feeling a bit moody, but definitely nowhere _near_ bad enough to keep calling it a 'funk.'

Chase _demanded_ I sleep with him last night (I've got the dreadful feeling that he actually _did_ check my psychiatric track-record; that, or read my journal), but I was glad he commanded me to because the presence of _people_ is really helpful to me during one of my depressive phases.

At least that's what my old therapist told me. It took me longer back then, I think, 'cause I never got much human-or-living-mammal-contact and the only reason I came out of it at all when I was younger was because that woman kept calling me in for sessions so I could 'open up.'

God, I hated her.

But anyways, now that I've got more than one living mammal around me on a regular basis (Chase, Finnian, even Diol and Bella), I got better quicker.

I like that. Probably because I've never woken up only three days into a 'funk' and not immediately thought, "Oh, why the hell should I bother?" and gone back to bed.

I did go back to sleep this morning, but it was only because Chase was still asleep and I didn't want to wake him. Besides that, he's just _hella_ fun to cuddle. His skin is so warm and soft and his body is so hard and muscular...

...I may have to go wake _him_ up for once after I finish this from just thinking about his sexy self.

But! So! After I woke up for _real_ -real this morning, I knew because of the time that it was early enough for Chase to still be sparring/meditating/training/whatever-el

se-he-does-at-5:00-AM, so I decided to express my gratitude to him for just being around while I was...not totally right.

I made pancakes, bacon, sausage, waffles, two or three omelets, French toast, pretty much _everything_ I could think of and figured I'd have time to make before Chase finished up with what he was doing.

Suffice it to say he was pleasantly surprised! He stood in the doorway of the kitchen for a full ten seconds before glancing from me in my apron, smiling at him, to the food on the table and taking a chair to begin digging in.

In between bites of the sausage (and _not_ with his mouth full; he’s no pig), he took the time to ask, "Shall I take this as a sign that your dismal mood has faded, Spicer?"

I was proud to agree that yes, it's pretty much over and that I wanted him to know that I was grateful for just...being around while I was off because not even my mom (when she found out about my occasionally unstable mental condition several years _after_ it'd had surfaced) would consent to being around when I was like that and that I was sincerely thankful that he'd done that for me even though we have no intimate relationship.

His reply to that still makes me smile. "Think nothing of it, Spicer. If it takes so little to keep my bed-partner functioning and well, I will gladly be near you when you are in so spectacular a sulk. It is a small price to pay for such a lovely servant and whore."

It took a _damn_ lot of control to at least wait until he'd finished the food on his plate to tackle him and strip him/begin riding him in two minutes flat.

What can I say? He's irresistible and 'cause I'd stopped being all emo and shit, I was able to realize I hadn't gotten any (that I was really _there_ for, so the 18th doesn't count) since St. Patrick's Day: a whole _three days_!

It was pretty much a whirlwind of sex for the next four or five hours after that, during which I preened beyond belief when Chase growled at me about missing this (meaning _my_ sweet ass), so yay!

At some point after the YAYGODFINALLY-sexing, the subject of the next Wu was brought up but it wasn't maintained very long in favor of more sexing.

Big loss. Who _really_ gives much of a crap about the Tangle Web Comb anyways? Although it _could_ conceivably be turned into a bondage toy...

Hm. Maybe I'll see how Chase feels about that later, like when he actually gets the Wu.

As for me, I still have a (getting there) painful erection from thinking too deeply of my Dark Sex Lord and Master, Chase Young, so I hope he won't mind too much that I'm about to go knocking _his_ door down in the middle of the night for fucking as opposed to the other way around!


	80. 3/21/09

**3/21/09-**

I KNEW IT. I _KNEW_ CHASE DELVED INTO MY PERSONAL LIFE.

So this morning, Chase went and got the Tangle Web Comb and told me to get cracking on it (I told him about the sex-toy idea; he liked it!).

So I did, and about three or four hours into it (not too complicated a thing, y’know?), I’d gotten a solid analysis and plan for what to do done. Consequently, I began to blueprint it.

About halfway through sketching stuff out, I realized I’d grabbed _way_ too much paper, which could be used for something else entirely, so I grabbed a pair of scissors from my lab table and started to cut off the excess…

…when Chase, out of nowhere, comments that he couldn’t believe how ferally I’d lunged at Tommy Jenkins with a pair of those when I was only six.

I kept cool, though, for which I was proud of myself. I finished cutting and went back to sketching as I casually explained that I was desperate because I’d just overheard he was going to move to another country and if he did that before I tried to get revenge on him for the half-gallon of Lysol poured into my goddamn apple juice behind my back, I would have to live my life knowing he’d nearly killed me and gotten off scot-free.

If he hadn’t been moving, I’d have taken my time like I did with Duyi Wong and psychologically tortured him for weeks (hiding his stuff when he wasn’t looking and/or moving it around, switching his stuff from cubby-hole to cubby-hole so he didn’t know where his stuff would be, y’know, make-him-think-he-was-going-crazy stuff) before going in for the (failed) kill.

He laughed, and I took the moment to inquire how he knew about that.

Apparently, when he’d first caught me taking my meds, he’d used some Wu-magic to actually see my past and what had brought about my psychological issues.

I mean, I’m kind of offended he just _did_ that without asking me or anything, but I know I shouldn’t have expected him to.

He’s _Chase Young_ : he doesn’t ask for permission for stuff like that. Ever.

Although I am glad he went for the ‘actually seeing’ approach as opposed to reading the file they’ve got me. If you just go by the file, I come off as some totally psychotic nut job that shouldn’t be allowed near solid objects much less out in public, but by _seeing_ it, the stuff I was diagnosed with and the suicide/homicide attempts make _sense_.

I was dumb enough to express as much and Chase mused that he would have to take a look at this file just to see what kind of monster they’d tried to make little ol’ me out to be.

Essentially, he’s going to look at it for the lulz. Urgh.

But with that out in the open, I was able to confirm that he didn’t have a huge problem with all that stuff. He _did_ tell me that should I ever attempt to end my life while in his possession, he would prevent it and make me suffer so much I’d _wish_ I was dead, a wish he would not grant.

I promised I had no desire to die anytime soon and explained my thing about keeping on a routine with my medicine so that I _don’t_ kill myself over nothing.

Chase then proceeded to inform me about a hell of a lot of suckish side effects the pills apparently have. I never looked them up; I was started on them when I was little and by the time I was old enough _to_ look them up, I’d been on them so long that I didn’t think there _could_ be anything wrong with them.

But, like I said, they’re pretty suckish, and Chase advised me to find better medication or perhaps natural remedies for depression.

I’ll check that out when I have some more time.

But anyways, Chase left me alone around then so I could at least finish up the blueprints for the Tech TWC, which I did and promptly trotted back upstairs to suggest a kinky idea to my Sex Master.

Fucking up against a wall…

…only the wall is the ceiling.

Brilliant, right? I know, I was so fucking proud of myself when I thought of it! I mean, I figured Chase _loves_ the up-against-the-wall stuff, and I’ve seen him defy gravity all over the place with barely any magic, so I figured he’d _definitely_ be able to do that.

I was right. So, so _right_.

We screwed all _over_ that ceiling, all the while Chase praising me for my genius and me praising him for being a magical sex-god.

Fun was had, but I’m betting his servants are gonna have a hard time cleaning the mess we left up there…unless they use the Tech Jetbootsu, I guess.

Anyways, sometime in between the fucking and otherwise fun, I got a letter!

Apparently, it arrived back at the mansion and Frankie had a bot forward it here.

It was from my Granny! I love that old bitch, I really do; she’s the one who inspired me to be evil, after all, and even helped me to take my first evil steps!

But so apparently, she feels like she’s growing closer to the end and she wants to see her favorite (and only, to her knowledge) grandson one last time before she passes on.

I think its baloney. If she were _really_ dying, she’d want me over urgently, not ‘sometime this year.’ Crazy old bitch…

Anyways, I figure if Chase doesn’t mind too much, he can drop me off there sooner or later; if not, there’s always the GTC gloves. I’ll figure out when to see her later.

For now, I don’t believe I’ve had _nearly_ enough ceiling-sex and intend to shamelessly beg for it.

In LOLspeak: I can has moar cock, plz? Yus, thx k bai. ;D


	81. 3/22/09

**3/22/09-**

Guh.

Don’t wanna see my Granny today after all the gross and traumatizing crap that happened to me today.

What gross and traumatizing crap you may ask? Why, I’d be happy to tell you!

So, sometime this morning, I woke up and went in search of Chase, only to find him in deep meditation. Hovering two or three feet above the ground. With his shirt off.

I nearly came just walking into the room to see that.

I managed to refrain, though ( _somehow_ ), and just…well, I guess I stared at him for awhile. I mean, he’s always dead-sexy, but when he’s meditating like that, a being of complete grace and power…well, he’s fucking _beautiful_ is what he is.

Yeah, I stared, because when you see something (or someone) _that_ visually and cognitively perfect, you can’t _not_ stare.

Of course Chase knew I was there; how could he _not_ have? He acknowledged me with a, “What are you looking at, Spicer?”

I honestly answered, “You.”  
  
Chase: And…do you like what you see?

Me: It’s _possible_ that I don’t?

He uncrossed his legs and just stood up from his floating position in one fluid motion that made it look _so easy_ and glanced at me with his gorgeous eyes and…

I don’t think I realized we were suddenly in his bedroom until he was actually in me. He’s good at that.

So, after some sexing got done, he said he was going to go make sure the cat-bitch is still doing her job and that while he was gone, I was meant to work on the Tangle Web Comb some more.

And here’s about where the gross and traumatizing part comes in.

I was down in my lab, working on building the mechanism that would replace the actual comb and I was suddenly bent over my lab table.

It was Chase, come home early… _NOT_.

I’ll get to the _NOT_ part in a minute.

So, anyways, he’s got me bent over the lab table and he declares himself back and already missing my pretty, young body.

It didn’t _feel_ right. Chase _never_ gets back that quick from a visit with Katnappé, and besides that…well, it just seemed wrong. He wasn’t touching me in the same places and he was cooing pillow-talk in my ear, something Chase’d pretty much always claimed he had no time for.

Point being, it felt wrong and I _knew_ it, so…I decided a test was in order as one hand slid under my shirt and the other into my pants.

Me: *pretending to be into it* Chase…tell me how much you love me…You know how hot that gets me…

‘Chase’: Certainly, Spicer. You are my partner and my lover; perhaps even someday my _mate_! I will gladly declare my love for you.

Me: *totally onto him now* Yeah? You love me that much?

‘Chase’: Of course, my love…

It was about then that I whirled around and gut-stabbed him with the wire-cutters that’d been lying on my table and declared him a ‘stupid fuck’ for falling for my trap.

It was also about then that ‘Chase’ reeled backwards and turned into Hannibal Bean by deactivation of the Moby Morpher.

Yeah. That’s right, folks. I got felt up by _Hannibal Roy Bean_. Gross and traumatizing? I think yes.

We bantered a little bit; he asked me how I knew he wasn’t really Chase and I matter-of-factly informed him that Chase and I were not lovers and merely possessed a master-consort relationship so if he was trying to get to Chase by getting me, he’d have to find someone the guy actually cares about.

The legume surprised me, there; he said it wasn’t _Chase_ he was after: he wanted _me_.

Apparently, he’d taken an interest in me when I actually began showing potential in terms of evil and had decided I might not be a bad candidate for his new apprentice, an idea that has only been cultivating more and more in his sick head as he saw what I was able to do in the field of Wu-replication.

Of course, to my utter horror and disgust, he also mentioned that he’d seen what I could do in terms of sex and that I would not only make a good replacement for ‘that traitorous Young’ but that I would also make a good slut for him.

I don’t know how a bean would go about ‘doing it,’ but I had no intention of becoming his apprentice and finding out, no matter _what_ he offered me.

I told him as much with the eloquent (if a bit squeaky) reply of, “…no, thank you.”

He tried to tempt me, and I’d severely underestimated him and forgotten he could tempt me with things I really want.

He said if I joined him, he could make it so that Chase _loved_ me.

I’m surprised I was able to turn him down, but _thank god_ for logical thought-processes! I knew the way Bean’s promises usually turn out (not well, by the way) and was able to realize that if he somehow managed to make Chase love me, it’d be dirty or underhanded; like he’d be hypnotized into it or it would be a fake-Chase or something like that.

I can’t give up the _real_ Chase who doesn’t love me for a fake one that does. Ever.

I. Just. Plain. Can’t.

Essentially, I told Bean to sod off because I wanted nothing to do with him (though a bit more politely that that, seeing as I still value my life).

Sod off he did, but not without the promise that he would be seeing me again and that he wasn’t about to leave this alone.

Rrrgghh…I don’t know how he managed to get into Chase’s palace, I’m just glad he’s _gone_ for now.

That was, like, two or three hours ago, and Chase still isn’t home yet.

In the meantime, I’m still grossed out and traumatized by the knowledge that _Bean touched me_ , so I’m gonna go see how Diol feels about being a combination body-guard/cuddly stuffed animal until Chase gets home and I can feel marginally safe again.


	82. 3/23/09

**3/23/09-**

I feel _much_ better for several reasons.

1) The Moby Morpher is no longer in Bean’s possession,

2) Chase whooped his ass (if he’s got one) for the creepy and wrong stunt he pulled yesterday,

and 3) I’ve been kept busy all day _away_ from my lab where the bad things happened.

Anywho, yesterday when Chase got home, I told him what’d happened and before I was even finished, he’d gone off to (as mentioned in Point #2) whoop Bean’s ass (again, if he does, indeed, have one).

Seems the bastard had used some ancient kind of spell or something to temporarily disable the wards and protection charms Chase has on his palace while using another spell entirely to impair the cat-warriors’ senses of smell so they wouldn’t question anything.

I hate him, but the legume is _wicked_ smart.

So! Chase got back several hours later, in severely whooped condition himself but with the Moby Morpher and the knowledge that Bean was just as fucked up as he was because of their battle.

THANK GOD.

I got to play sexy nursemaid (which I’m still doing, by the way) and, once I got him mostly taken care of in terms of bruises and scratches, I blew him a couple of times to make him feel better about the whole thing and then fetched him some booze and got him loaded.

He’s more fun when he’s drunk, really. I mean, he wasn’t shitfaced, off-his-rocker, _sloppy_ drunk, but he actually _laughs_ at amusing things when he’s drunk; not chuckling, either, _laughter_.

I was stunned speechless before he took advantage of the fact that my mouth was gaping like a fish to shove his tongue down my throat and snog the life out of me.

Anyways, I woke up next to him this morning to discover that he’d gotten nowhere _near_ drunk enough to have a hangover, which was good because I’d rather not find out what an unholy terror the guy is _with_ a pounding headache and nausea when he’s already pretty much an unholy terror _without_ that.

Ever since, today has pretty much just been me helping Chase out with some stuff that he’s too sore to bother doing himself, like making a healthy and plentiful breakfast, lunch, and dinner, bringing him objects he wants that are too far away to get immediately, washing his hair-

OH MY GOD, _THAT_. THAT WAS ULTIMATE YAY.  <3

Okay, so Chase felt a little dirty and scraggly from the fight yesterday and hadn’t had a chance to bathe, so he had me draw him a bath today and help wash him. At some point, he asked me to wash his hair, and…

Well, I guess I was either _really_ good at it or he gets off on having his hair washed because within seconds of lathering and rinsing his mane, I was dragged into the bathtub, fully-clothed and sputtering, and ordered to strip _immediately_ to ride him (that particular position because it meant less physical work for him).

Anyways, needless to say I got my clothes off pretty quick and was easing down onto him from behind while his hands forcefully moved my hips and his fangs bit at the back of my neck.

The entire thing was fairly hot and just thinking about it is getting _me_ all hot and bothered again.

Ugh, it’s a good thing it’s just a _bit_ too early for him to be asleep, ‘cause I’m gonna need him to be awake for my horny purposes fairly soon. I’ll at least finish this entry, though, I guess, considering there’s not much more to go.

So, today consisted of me helping Chase out while he healed up a bit (he said he’d probably be _fully_ -functioning again by, like, tomorrow) and that’s really about it.

End of journal entry, ‘cause more important matters (i.e., my current erection, the fact that Chase is one room over and _not_ being molested, etc.) call for my attention.


	83. 3/24/09

**3/24/09-**

Chase may have saved me from gaining another psychological problem and turning into a nymphomaniac.

So after much sexing last night and waking up to paw at Chase for more sexing, he growled at me and told me that while he was _all for_ lots of sex, I was really pushing it and was actually exhausting _him_.

That was a wake-up call, and I realized within a couple of seconds that I was engaging in escapist behavior by trying to have consistent sex with Chase to keep from thinking about the fact that Bean touched me in places I had no desire to be touched by him.

It was a surprising revelation.

I excused myself pretty quickly and went back to my room and started flipping through an old notebook.

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for what I did just then.

I called Ms. Merriweather, my old therapist, to set up an appointment.

I don’t know _why_ I did it; I mean, yeah, I was desperate to deal with this before it developed into a _real_ problem but I have no idea why I thought _that_ dumb bitch could help _at all_.

I met her only hours later, briefly explained the situation (without involving any of the magical and/or supernatural aspects of it, of course; don’t want to get sent to the Looney Bin, after all) and asked her what I should do about it.

The bitch immediately started in on me about being in a sexual relationship with a man and didn’t I know that was wrong? And _then_ , of course, she made the dumbass mistake of saying I _deserved_ the molestation as God’s revenge for choosing to fornicate with another man.

She really is stupid. She _knows_ my psychological history. She _knows_ how I get when I’m contradicted on an issue I feel strongly about.

She _should’ve_ known better than to openly criticize me like that, though in all fairness, she had no idea I had my matter-shifter on me at the time.

I don’t feel the least bit remorseful about cracking her in the face with a diamond fist, even if she _is_ a woman: she had it _coming_ for saying I deserved to get nearly-raped.

I’ve decided I’m not gonna bother with therapists anymore; they’re clearly not worth my time considering that just having this fucking journal has done more to fix problems in my life than talking to that dumb bitch ever did, so fuck her and the horse she rode in on.

At least now that I know what I was unconsciously doing, I can…well, _not_ do it and find another way to cope with this.

In the meantime, I’ve gotten around to looking up more natural remedies for depression like Chase suggested, and I found two in particular.

One: a combination of peony, ginger, licorice, and jujube.

Two: improving my diet by cutting out sugar, caffeine, and alcohol.

I’m betting there’s very little doubt as to which one I picked.

After all, I’m not too big a drinker (though I did start early ‘cause of youthful naivety and lack of supervision) and only ingest alcohol on special occasions and such, but caffeine and sugar…

Dietary staples as far as I’m concerned.

Option One it is, then!

  
 **3/24/09 (UPDATED)-**

Hm…

I just had a random thought sitting here enjoying Option One while Chase has gone out to God-knows-where doing God-knows-what: therapists (particularly Ms. Merriweather) don’t do anything for me, but…there _is_ one woman I’ve always been able to talk to with phenomenal results, and she’s already sent me a letter asking me to drop by sooner or later.

...I think I might see how Chase feels about dropping me off at Granny’s house sometime tomorrow.


	84. 3/25/09

**3/25/09-**

I have been thoroughly reminded _WHY I FUCKING LOVE MY GRANNY_ so hard.

So basically, I buttered Chase up this morning with an even more extravagant breakfast than usual and did my utmost to be nice to him and do what he wanted in the hopes that he would escort me to-and-from Granny’s place.

Naturally, he coined on almost immediately and demanded, “What is it you _want_ , Spicer?”

I didn’t dance around the issue and try to avoid the fact that I _was_ , indeed, buttering him up, for which I think Chase was impressed, and I outright told him that I wanted him to at least drop me off at and pick me up from my grandma’s house sometime today. There’d be no obligation to stay the whole time, just a minimal beginning-and-end two minutes.

He didn’t seem too fond of the idea until I mentioned that I really needed to talk to someone about the thing that’d happened and, with the whole therapist thing failing spectacularly, I’d either be unloading my emotional baggage onto my Granny or him against his will.

Chase didn’t really seem to think it was asking too much to briefly pop into Granny’s penthouse in Bruges to see me off after that tidbit.

So, he dropped me off and I was personally greeted at the door with a bear-hug from the old woman.

Granny: C’mon, Jackie, you can’t hug your own grandma any harder than that?

Me: Well, I would if I didn’t think I’d snap you, you brittle old bitch!

Granny: _You_? _Snap_ me? Please, Jack, you limp-wristed ninny, you’d need a _month_ at the gym to even fracture my _pinky_!

Me: _Granny_ …don’t emasculate me in front of my Sex Master…

It was about then that she noticed Chase, looking entirely weirded out by our not-standard grandma-grandson interaction and congratulated me in excess for finally snagging myself a man, and _Chase Young_ at that!

He’s really big in _all_ the evil circles; there’s no evil worth their salt that _doesn’t_ know the name ‘Chase Young,’ so Granny (being a part of some shadowy organization or other; I don’t ask questions and I wouldn’t get ‘em answered if I did) knows just a bit less about him than I do, considering I’m his ultimate fanboy _and_ one of the few people still associating with him these days.

The way she’d said it, ‘me snagging myself a man,’ it came off like Chase and I were…y’know, _together_ , so I corrected her.

Me: No, Granny, we’re not like that; we’re just fuck-buddies.

Granny: Who said I was congratulating you on anything else?

Me: Well, just the way you said it-

Granny: Be proud of yourself, Jack! You managed to make it as his whore; that’s more than anyone else has been able to brag in the past century or so!

Me: *glancing at Chase* Yeah…um…you can leave if you want to, Chase, I’m sure this is awkward for you.

Chase: *gone in a heartbeat*

But so anyways, I went inside and made some tea and Granny and I sat down and started talking and catching up.

She’s such a great old bitch; I really _am_ gonna be emo when she dies.

Apparently, I was right and the letter was all just her being dramatic and she was testing me to see if I loved her enough to go running at a moment’s notice and she chastised me for being soft when it only took me five days to get my albino butt over here. I assured her it would’ve been longer, but I had a personal agenda and needed her, for which she congratulated me on looking out for my own motives.

I told her about what happened with Bean, and, like I said, I was thoroughly reminded why I fucking loved her.

She managed to counsel me through it in twenty minutes flat; told me Bean was just a creepy pedo who likes to perv on all the little boys and that I had a much sexier pedo to focus on, anyways, who mostly just perved on me.

The mental image of Chase as a pedophile, though…

“O Y HALLO THAR, OMI… *eyebrow waggle*”

*is so dead of laughter* XD

Anyways, though, she told me that it wasn’t my fault or anything and that I shouldn’t worry about it so much because even though it was a near-miss for actual sex, it _was_ , indeed, a miss and was over now.

So after that, I filled her in on what had happened with my life since the last time we’d seen each other and she congratulated me for officially beginning to grow my Evil Plumage, as they say in the business. She also made note that she should not only have her son castrated for me but also locked up in a small cage so that ‘maybe then he won’t be sending my Jack dangerous and unwanted presents all the damn time.’

She’s really a barrel of fun, I’m telling you.

But I couldn’t stay there all day (have an ultimate, sexy overlord to return to, and all) so I said as much and she said she was just about sick of me anyways and to call my master to pick me up.

I’d briefly made something similar to a pager-system only a _lot_ simpler for this outing. When I was ready to leave, I’d push a button on mine and Chase’s would beep once and he’d come and get me.

Chase showed up and Granny and I said our goodbyes.

Me: Take care of yourself, Granny! Don’t eat any puppies, either, they give you heartburn and you know it.

Granny: I’ll eat whatever I want to eat, Jack, you just focus on keeping it so only _one_ pedophile’s groping at you!

Me: See you in Hell, Granny, you senile jizz bint!

Granny: Not if I send you there first, you scurvy-looking llama!

We were smiling the whole time we said that, which I think only further weirded Chase out. Granny and I have an odd relationship, so I’m not surprised he’s at least a little confused by it.

Anyways, though, because I hadn’t been around all day and Chase is still the horniest man I know, I informed him as soon as I got home that whatever Bean had broken in my head when he molested me was officially fixed and that I was ready for sex that didn’t involve incessant amounts past _his_ limit.

I’m not quite sure I finished the sentence before he pounced me to the floor and had his wicked way with me. Several times. In several positions. On several surfaces (and not all of them gravity-upright, if you catch my drift).

Anywho, fun times were had, and now that I’ve gotten today’s adventure scrawled out onto paper, I believe I shall retire to bed (unless, of course, Chase sneaks in later and decides the day’s not quite over yet, *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*).


	85. 3/26/09

**3/26/09-**

I'm glad that I finally got to use a Wu-replica in an actual Showdown.

The reason I mention it is because a Wu went active today and, like I just said, I got a chance to use one of the replicas since the Wu wasn’t too terribly important and Chase decided to send _me_ off to get it in place of him as my first official outing as his loyal minion.

*has a happy*

Anyways, it’s called Passion’s Pendant: it’s pretty much a necklace with a heart-shaped ruby on it that, when worn, incites a burning lust in any target the wearer chooses.

On second thought, it was _somewhat_ important in that I _had_ to win it instead of Wuya lest she use it on Chase to manipulate him into screwing her, which was a do not want.

It was fitting, though, that Chase send his whore to fetch it for him!

But, back to the actual Showdown!

So, I got there and ended up squaring off against Wuya and the monks, but I’d been smart and brought along one of the previously replicated Wu: the Tech Fist of Tebigong.

Naturally, I kicked some major ass with it, and I was glad to, as it was the first time Wuya actually fought with me in a Showdown. Even though she’d seen me fuck the monks over a time or two, she’d never gone up against me before the Biowar-bot incident, and never physically until today.

I think I managed to get across the point that I’m not the weak little insect that she resorted to teaming up with when nobody else would take her anymore: I can kick ass in my own right now, and I’ve got no problem showing that off.

However, I’m wary about that because she’s attracted to power indefinitely and after I kicked her ass and won the Wu, she gave me a look before retreating, and…

Well, let’s just say I’m thinking of investing in a chastity belt that only Chase has the key to. It would make things a hell of a lot easier, really.

Anyways, though, I won the necklace, brought it home to Chase, and was given a musing somewhere along the lines of, ‘You are so passionate for me already, Spicer, because of your _feelings_ for me…I wonder how much more passionate you _could_ get,’ and BAM, Passion’s Pendant activated.

I’m not entirely sure if I’ve ever been that horny in my life, really. I just sort of pounced on him and started kissing him as hard as I could while simultaneously trying to figure out how to undo the straps and clasps of his armor and failing miserably as hormonally-distracted as I was.

Chase didn’t mind in the slightest. I think if anything, it got him hard and kept him that way longer to know that I was magically-inclined towards sex at the moment, but even if I weren’t, I’d still be doing the same things I was, only less desperately.

Needless to say much sexing was had. I swear, the bedroom was…

Well, to quote a very intelligent robot with a bit of alteration, it was like a pack of sex-ghosts had hit it; _big_ ones. Also, a sex-tornado.

Anywho, Chase has hidden the Pendant somewhere Wuya won’t be able to find it and he intends to use it for more fun at a later date.

For the moment, the both of us are tired out and fully intend to go the fuck to sleep.

I’m glad for that, ‘cause I’m still in bed with him as I’m writing this (and he’s writing in his diary; who knew he had one?) which would be fine, but _CHASE KEEPS READING OVER MY FUCKING SHOULDER._

FOCUS ON YOUR OWN DIARY, DUDE. SRSLY.

*ahem* Really, though, bed _is_ a good idea.


	86. 3/27/09

**3/27/09-**

Huh.

Today was mildly weird in that, between bouts of Chase-sexing, another letter got forwarded here from the mansion that ended up inadvertently causing a discussion of perverted uncles.

So anyways, the letter got here and it turns out Megan’s birthday is coming up, like, two or three days from now, and they want me to go to the party.

I don’t want to go.

First of all, Megan’s a little bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone else, and if I go having improved in the way I have, I may just end up stabbing her with something sharp, pointy, and painful, if just to get across the point that she’s not God incarnate. In fact, I think that little bitch is the whole reason I hate kids; _hate_ ‘em. I never want to have children in my life. _Ever._

It shouldn’t be much of a problem because I’m gay and refuse to have sex with a woman in the first place, but I mean…if my parents ever pull some dumbass shit about trying to get me to artificially inseminate someone (which I’ve no doubt they will since they’re greedy like that and don’t care about my own wants/needs; never have), I’m not gonna do it or even remotely _consider_ it. No way, not happening, _don’t_ want my DNA running amok anywhere but in my own body under _any_ circumstances.

Second of all, Aunt Morgan is just as much of a bitch, only she openly manipulates me by threatening to call my Mom and lie to her in such a way that will have terrible consequences for me. She’s gone so far as to tell her I’d flushed Megan’s STILL-LIVING hamster down the toilet when I wouldn’t change my clothes to ‘something respectable’ for Megan’s birthday years ago, and I ended up completely financially cut off for two and a half months.

Third of all, Uncle Manny is…off. Whenever I’m over at their house, he always throws me these (I guess they’re supposed to be) seductive looks and tries to get me to go somewhere alone with him. Naturally, I never did because I’m not and never have been stupid, but even then, he still managed to get a little, ‘hand on my back uncomfortably close to my ass’ and ‘rubbing my thigh’ time in.

But anyways, I got this letter as an invitation and moaned aloud in dread before declared I was not going.

Chase, being right there, was curious and asked what was up.

I recounted the letter, that I was invited to go to Megan’s birthday celebration, and he asked what was wrong with that and why didn’t I want to go?

Me: Well, y’see, I’ve got this creepy, pervert uncle-

Chase: You, too?

Apparently, back in the day, Chase had an uncle with an unhealthy goat-obsession that used to try and get him to go out to the stables and ‘play with the animals’ with him.

Small, small world…

ANYWHO!

So I sent a negative reply to the letter saying that I _would not_ be going to the party, and immediately after I sent it, I took out a good amount of money from the Spicer bank account before the bitch-aunt tried to cut me off again.

I’m going to need that money because I’m going to need a base investment to get the Tech Eye of Dashi off the ground and get some marketing going; y’know, all that stuff.

My birthday’s only five days away! Holy crap, I, like, _just_ realized that.

Huh.

I should probably go making some calls and start investing some money in the proper avenues so that this whole thing will go off without a hitch, but first…

…I think there’s some dragon-cock in the other room that’s missing my mouth on it.


	87. 3/28/09

**3/28/09-**

Mmm…t’was a nice day, _indeed_!

So this morning, I got the idea to break out the collar and leash again, and let’s just say _HOT DAMN_ was it worth it!

I really _do_ like it when Chase says dirty things to me, in _and_ out of sex. I mean the dog stuff for sure, but aside from that…

I _love_ it when he calls me his whore. I love _being_ his whore. I’m not really sure why, either. I know if anybody else tried to call me a whore, much less _their_ whore, I’d probably revert to the homicide-attempt phase I went through way back in grade school, and it would likely end up being with scissors of some kind (can I help it if that seems to be the most convenient weapon of choice whenever I need to severely hurt someone?).

I think it’s just because it’s _Chase._

I mean, I love him, so I think that’s why even before he deemed me fit to fuck, I let a lot of his insults and otherwise detestable behavior towards me slide and didn’t hold so much as a mild grudge for anything but the T-Rex thing.

Every so often, I still get nightmares and wake up screaming only to punch the first thing that interrupts me in the face. Back at the mansion, I’d programmed my bots to stay at least six feet away from me when that happens and they come to check on me so that I’d stop bruising and otherwise traumatizing my knuckles by trying to hit them.

I’m just hoping I don’t get anymore T-Rex nightmares, if just for the fact that I’d rather not think of what Chase would do to me if I woke him up by screaming and then, while he was trying to be courteous by waking _me_ up from a horrible dream and at the same time save his ear drums from my shrieking, receive a punch in the face.

I may have to specialize a bot or two of the ones I’ve got here, if just to handle me in the event that that situation happens.

Hmm, anyways, though, I managed to _finally_ finish up the damn Tech Tangle Web Comb and I’ve tested it, so I know it works.

Since I finished, I’ve had this damn incessant fantasy replaying over and over in my head where Chase just shows up out of nowhere while I’m doing something, uses the replica on me and fucks me while I’m completely powerless to say or do anything to the contrary.

I think I might-----------------------------------

  
 **3/28/09 (UPDATED)-**

Holy hell…

Um, let’s just say Chase was using his super-special-awesome ninja skills to read over my shoulder without me even knowing he was _in the room_ , and when I got to the part about the Tech TWC fantasy…

He decided to fulfill it for me, and fun was had.

I also think I might have to go sleep off the bountiful amounts of fun that were had for, oh, like twelve or thirteen hours.


	88. 3/29/09

**3/29/09-**

Today was, surprisingly enough, a lazy day, and not just for me, either.

I slept in this morning, and imagine my surprise to discover Chase still in bed with me, sleeping like a log!

I nudged him a little, informed him it was, like, noon and shouldn’t his morning routine have happened _hours_ ago?

Me: Chase, seriously, shouldn’t you be awake?

Chase: *annoyed* Nnnh…

Me: _Chase_ …

Chase: Sleeping in _one day_ won’t kill me, Spicer. Now, kindly shut your mouth so I can actually _enjoy_ it.

Me: *does so*

I was surprised he even knew _how_ to have a lazy day, but it turns out he’s the fucking _master_ of it.

But am I _really_ surprised that it’s just another thing he’s good at? Not in the least.

Basically, we spent all day lying around doing nothing, occasionally eating and occasionally fucking, but mostly it was just a day of nothing significant.

As for me, I may fantasize about snuggling with Chase in front of a fire place for the rest of my life.

I’d best start right away, in that case.


	89. 3/30/09

**3/30/09**

Don’t think I’ve ever been fucking hornier in my life, and I don't even fucking care why, either.

I don’t care _how_ annoyed and exhausted Chase claims to be: we’re gonna fuck some more NOW.


	90. 3/31/09

**3/31/09-**

Well. This…sucks, to put it lightly.

So yesterday, I’d run out of the shampoo I’d brought from the mansion when I moved into Chase’s palace and, because my hair gets greasy and nasty if I don’t wash it, I asked Chase if I could borrow his shampoo for my shower and he agreed.

As it turns out, Wuya’s been drugging Chase’s shampoo with a Viagra-like drug for months in the hopes that it would make him desperately horny enough to settle for fucking her.

She’d loaded the shampoo with enough to make a strong-willed dragon-lord ridiculously horny.

It made _me_ , being a normal human teenager, a veritable nymphomaniac and goddamn am I glad for my fucking pacemaker (don’t ask; another birth-defect from Mom’s fertility meds) because otherwise, with _that_ large a dosage, my heart could’ve actually _exploded_ had the thing not at least somewhat done its job and regulated my heartbeat.

As it is, my chest _still_ hurts like a bitch.

Anyways, I got unreally horny, which made Chase suspicious as hell knowing that I’d begun acting so after using his shampoo and he remembered that he’d experienced bursts of horniness after bathing, too, so he did some investigating and came to the conclusion of Viagra-drugging.

Of course, Wuya was the natural suspect, because she was the only one who could benefit from Chase being so horny all the time that actually had opportunity to do it (that’s what ruled out Rai, who would’ve also benefited from a horny Chase). When he found that out, he…

He kicked me out.

Chase determined that the only reason he ever would have had sex with someone like me, no matter _how_ much I’ve matured, was because he was so horny that _anyone_ was acceptable and that I was to gather my things and leave _immediately_ lest he forcibly _throw_ me out and dispose of all my belongings.

God, that hurt. I think it hurt even worse because the way he looked at me…it was like I _disgusted_ him again, and to see that after getting used to him at least tolerating and fucking me…

It just really _hurt_.

I’m back home, now, at the mansion. Frankie’s pissed off on my behalf, but he knows he can’t take Chase on, so he’s offered to cheer me up by taking me out somewhere to forget about it, but I declined.

I don’t really feel like doing much of anything right now.

It’s really late, actually, but I can’t sleep. I can’t even _think_ about sleeping after…

…after I lost the closest thing I had to ever being with Chase.

It’s almost midnight; I just checked, and it’ll be tomorrow in some thirty seconds.

And there it is.

Happy Birthday to me…


	91. 4/1/09

**4/1/09-**

I’ve taken advantage of the fact that I didn’t sleep at all last night to get some things done.

I mean, just because my sex-life and I guess the closest thing I had to a love-life are now in total disarray doesn’t mean I can just let the rest of my life go to total hell.

I started by making a hell of a lot of phone calls and getting things done and by my exact birth-hour, the Tech Eye of Dashi had been released and is being marketed worldwide.

I’ve already been nominated for a goddamn Nobel Peace prize along with several other prestigious awards, received ten death threats from oil-based economies, earned myself a couple million dollars, and have gotten about fifty-six love-letters from various men and women, about half of them with lewd pictures included.

It’s not even noon.

Besides that, though, I spent the day hanging out with Frankie and Finnian: Finnian because I’ve kinda been neglecting him ever since I moved in with Chase and Frankie because…well, hell, because he’s my brother and he’s really the only family I’ve got to help me through this whole thing right now.

He’s doing a good job, too. He’s avoiding the subject completely and keeping my mind on other things, which is really helping me cope, and Finnian’s not slouching either with all the cuddles and nuzzles he’s been giving me.

Negriss has wisely not shown his scaly face all day. If he had, I’m pretty sure I’d have killed him just for being a horny reptile who doesn’t give a fuck about anybody’s feelings.

ANYWAYS.

Because I’m already on my way to being a big-shot now, I figured I might as well go shopping for some new threads to express as much and I dragged Frankie along because I’m going to introduce him as my brother and business partner, so he’s gotta get cleaned up for the public.

He cleans up pretty nice, actually. Stick an Armani suit on him, slick his hair back a little, you’d never even guess he’s been to jail eight or nine times.

I managed to hack some government systems and clear his criminal record, by the way. After all, if it gets out that I’m working intimately with a criminal, there’s no _way_ I’d make any money, and if not that, I’d be under constant government supervision, which isn’t really conducive for my lifestyle.

While I was in those systems, I cleared _my_ psychological history, too, meaning the suicide/homicide attempts and all that crap Ms. Bitch made up about me in that damn file are all gone now. Again, I wouldn’t get much business if the public thought I was a dangerous psycho.

I hate that Chase had to discover the drugging at such a time that’d make my birthday so _fucking_ miserable, but I hate Wuya even more for drugging him in the first place.

That bitch. Because of her, I’m in the same damn boat she is: I’ve had a taste of Chase-cock, but I’m never goddamn getting it again.

If I ever see her again after this, she’s a dead bitch. I will _kill her_ , or at least do my damn best to.

God, it sucks that I still have to deal with Chase because of our Wu-deal (he left the Changing Chopsticks on my desk this morning with a note saying that we still had our business arrangement in effect).

It’d be better for me to not see the inconsiderate bastard again for another, oh, let’s say twenty years.

 _Because_ of said bastard, my body’s still on the schedule of ‘five or six times a day,’ so now, not only am I lonely as hell, I’m also horny as hell without anyone to fuck.

Urgh, must jerk off…

  
 **4/1/09 (UPDATED)-**

Have jerked off. Naturally, it was amazingly unsatisfying, but it did what it was supposed to do, at least, and I’m no longer hornier than a satyr.

I also don’t know why, but even though I was thinking of Chase, I made myself say a different name when I climaxed. I think it was to spite the bastard for dropping me so suddenly without so much as a ‘hey, thanks for giving me your virginity and weeks of your time, but I’m done with you now.’

I’d have appreciated that much.

I doubt he was watching me. Why the fuck would he care about me outside of our deal anymore?

But still; if he was, I’ll bet he was at least somewhat pissed when I moaned Rai’s name (*gag,* wouldn’t _ever_ fantasize about that jerk for real!), if just because I’ve purposefully excluded him from my fantasies.

Mmm. It’s only 9:00 PM, but I really don’t care.

I’m going to bed.


	92. 4/2/09

**4/2/09-**

Today's actually been pretty good.

I’ve mostly been adjusting to my instant popularity, wealth, and fame.

So, this morning I woke up and felt _dangerously_ close to a ‘funk’ upon remembering that it was my own bed in my own mansion.

I’m still pissed at Chase for that, by the way. It’s not so much that he got rid of me; I figured it would have to happen eventually.

I’m pissed that he was such an ungrateful dick about it. Like I’ve already mentioned, I’d feel a lot better about this whole thing if he’d at least given me a ‘thank you for your time’ in combination with the ‘get the fuck out.’

Ass.

Anyways, though, I’ve managed to put him out of my mind for a couple of hours by finding a certain someone’s phone number ( _so_ glad I kept it) and setting up a date today.

Allen’s really only gotten cuter since the last time I saw him. He cut his hair a little shorter and he got a second ear-piercing, and of course, he’s just as much of a charmer as he was.

I bet if I fucked _him_ for a matter of weeks before he got tired of me I’d get a goddamn ‘thank you.’

But when I went out with him, I completely forced Chase out of my mind and only focused on him.

I didn’t hold hands with him to spite Chase. I didn’t let him kiss me in broad daylight at the sidewalk café to spite Chase. I didn’t even drag him into a back-alley and let him give me a handjob before blowing him to spite Chase!

I did it because Allen is a sweet guy and I think he might be the best choice in terms of who to go to after Chase: he’s the guy’s complete opposite and he’s too nice to take advantage of me just because I’m on the rebound. Besides that, he’s sexy and particularly fuckable.

I haven’t fucked him yet, though; we’ve only been on two dates after today, and I don’t wanna come off as a slut to him.

But I think we’re off to a good start, even if the paparazzi _did_ recognize me while we were having lunch and ended up chasing us around until we managed to lose them in that back-alley where the fondling happened.

Why, yes, my fame _has_ sky-rocketed through the roof, thank you for asking!

I’m pretty much being hailed as the hero of the world, at this point, and the money, fanletters, and death-threats only keep rolling in.

Not that I care too much. I’m busy trying to get a love-life going and working on improving my previously-neglected personal life (i.e., Frankie and Fin).

As for the Wu-project, I haven’t started work on the Changing Chopsticks yet because…

…well, to be honest, I don’t totally give much of a fuck right now. I’ll get around to them sooner or later.

Right now, I’m just sort of basking in the vindictive knowledge that my hormones are at complete peace from Allen’s courtesy while in the meantime, Chase’s only option for sex is Rai, the clingy stalker bitch with the loose ass.


	93. 4/3/09

**4/3/09-**

I feel _much_ better about this whole Chase thing; officially, now.

So, today, after sleeping in a bit, I heard some commotion downstairs that woke me up and I went down to investigate.

Guess who was trying to get into Frankie’s pants and consequently get his protection?

Wuya.

I am _so_ glad she showed up. Really, I am.

Frankie was fending her off adequately, shoving her away, keeping her at arms length, most likely because he didn’t know who she was and, because she was a normal (as far as he knew) woman, had degined not to hit her.

I, however, stopped them with the blatant annunciation that Francis was as queer as I was and to not bother trying.

Frankie took mild offense to that, actually: in his mind, he’s a bit less gay than I am just because he’s a seme and I’m an uke.

Anyways, though, once I made myself known, it was _me_ Wuya was all over. She was obviously trying to seduce herself into my good graces in the hopes that I’d protect her from Chase’s wrath (and he did a _number_ on her).

I pretty much lost it.

I don’t even fully remember what happened: all I know is that I was _pissed_ at her because it was _her_ fault I had to suffer through having Chase and losing him (I’d rather have never gotten to fuck him than to fuck him and then never be able to again) and that I screamed as much at her while simultaneously beating her within an inch of her life.

By the time I was exhausted, panting, and still shaking with pure rage, Wuya was in an even uglier bloody pulp than when Chase had gotten finished with her and Francis was staring at me like I’d lost my damn mind…

…which I had for a minute there, but…THE BITCH LOST ME CHASE-COCK. She _deserved_ to get the best goddamn smack-down I had to offer.

Of course, Frankie’s staring at me was getting to be unnerving.

Me: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOU PANSY-ASS FIRE-FAG?! YOU WANNA FIGHT ABOUT THIS, TOO?!

Francis: …no…

Me: You’re DAMN right you don’t!

Francis: …Hey, Jack…

Me: WHAT?!

Francis: I’m proud of you. You’ve delivered your first ass-kicking: you are now a man. C’mon, have a beer with me.

Me: …fine.

After that we pretty much just sat around drinking beer and watching TV, although I did stop at one point and randomly decide to make cupcakes.

I think it’s because I haven’t made any in a week or two and now that I’ve started to bake/cook again, I’ve gotten in a routine of having to do it every so often, so cupcakes were made.

I shared the batch with Frankie and Fin, the latter falling asleep in a ball of contentment after eating one and the former declaring them orgasmic and swearing that he’d never tasted a better cupcake in his life.

I felt vindictively happy to be able to announce that my ungrateful ex would never have another one of my cupcakes made for him _ever_ again, at which I was given a clap on the back and told that Francis was proud of me for starting to get over the dickweed.

I’m not over him. I _know_ I’m not, and I know I _won’t_ be for a very long time, no matter _how_ bad he pissed me off by ditching me without so much as a _goddamn thank you_.

Love is hard to just…get over.

But I feel like I’m on the right path, at least.

I mean, I’m actually a catch, now; a _prize-winning_ catch, at that! I’m not the scrawny little goth-weakling that nobody has any interest in anymore, and any man in the world would be _lucky_ to have me. Not only that, but they _want_ to have me!

I’ve stopped trying to count the letters and e-mails and phone calls that have been flooding in all day ever since I was seen making out with Allen yesterday from _seriously hot_ gay men telling me to dump the blue-haired guy and get with them.

I’m feeling better about the fact that Chase dumped me now because, unlike when he’d actually _dumped_ me, I have other options now. Chase is not the only gay-sex-enjoying man in the world who will fuck me and in fact, has left that group around the same time nearly _every other_ gay-sex-enjoying man in the world entered it.

I think I’m on a power-high now. I believe I shall masturbate to it in the shower.


	94. 4/4/09

**4/4/09-**

Chase has surprised me today.

So this morning, I awoke to find a dark pink rose on my pillow along with a note (from guess who?) expressing a brief apology for the brusque send-off.

I remember musing to myself (not aloud) that it was just what I’d wanted before leaving it there when I went to take a shower and musing further that it was about four days later than was relevant or meaningful to me.

It was gone when I got back.

And _that’s_ about when I just fucking lost it again.

I hadn’t accepted _or_ rejected his meager apology for the _hugely_ crappy thing he did to me, and he just _took it away_?

I was pissed.

I grabbed my GTC gloves and was literally in his face faster than anyone but him could blink.

I admit, I may have started ranting at him, but I mean… _really_. To not only take my virginity but _forty-five days of my life_ , make both completely meaningless by kicking me out in a goddamn heartbeat, and then to offer _one_ lousy rose in apology? An apology, by the way, that didn’t regard anything but the fact that he’d kicked me out on _short notice_? An apology that he rescinded when I left the room for fifteen fucking minutes having not decided on what to do about it?

That’s _fucked up_ , and I made sure to let him know it.

By the end of it, I was sure he’d kill me, but he acknowledged that I had a point, handed me the rose back, and said he’d allow me to decide on whether or not I would accept his apology on my own time along with the advice that I shouldn't _ever_ talk to him like that again while reminding me just why I should obey him on that with an intimidating display of power.

Still, it’s nice that the dick is finally taking responsibility for his actions.

Anyways, I went back home and fumed about it a little more before forgetting it altogether and getting some work done on the Tech Changing Chopsticks.

I took a lot of my inspiration from that movie, Innerspace, which centers around shrinking and enlarging technology, so I was able to get a lot for it done.

Meanwhile, the money, death-threats, and love-letters have been pouring in in excess, and simultaneously, I've noticed that Mom and Dad’s bank account has _tanked_. They’re pretty much dirt-poor at the moment and they know it.

They begged me to transfer my newly-acquired money to their account, but I declined, saying it was _my_ money that I’d earned fairly and they had no right to take it, _especially_ considering it was their own bad investments that lost them so much of their own money.

Still…they _are_ my parents, so I was at least a little merciful: I bought the mansion from them for a million or so; that way they can have at least a _bit_ of money to get back on their feet in a middle or lower-class setting and actually get _day-to-day_ jobs.

Urgh, the phone’s ringing again, and caller ID says it’s Mom’s cellphone. I’m not gonna answer this time. They’ll just be begging for more money.

I’m thinking today sucks.

In light of that, I’m also going to bed.


	95. 4/5/09

**4/5/09-**

I know I’m supposed to be thinking about Chase’s apology. I know I’m supposed to be running my brand-new multi-billion-dollar business. I know I’m supposed to be getting some work done on the Changing Chopsticks.

That’s just really hard with your goddamn parents calling every two minutes begging for handouts.

They wanted to complain about the house-settlement; that $1 million was dirt-cheap and that the mansion plus the surrounding property was worth _at least_ $20 million.

I went as high as $10 million in light of that and told them that’s all they were getting from me.

They tried to get smart after that, saying they were going to go the press and every media source they could find and make me out to be an ungrateful, evil brat.

“We gave him _everything_ and funded _all_ of his little projects, and now that we’re in need, he won’t give us a _dime_!”

Mom would, of course, be sobbing that ‘hysterically’ while Dad tried ‘desperately’ to ‘comfort’ her.

Obviously, their attempt to get smart failed, because they are of merely average intelligence and I am a fucking _super-genius_.

I told them that I wouldn’t _let_ them go to the media: if I didn’t have them killed and erase any trace that they ever were (which I don’t want to do, but if I have to…), I would go the media myself with the mansion’s security tapes from my years of living in it to give complete and doubtless proof to everyone who might see it that they were _never_ around when I was growing up.

And of course, it would be the really _shocking_ footage, like me getting into the liquor cabinet at age 8, handling kitchen knives to make my own dinner at age 5, perhaps even a suicide attempt or two from ages 7 and 11. Alongside those, I figure I could show simultaneous clips of every other room in the mansion and the rest of the grounds to give solid proof that while I was doing those dangerous and shocking things, Mom and Dad were not only not in the room to stop me, they weren’t even on the goddamn _property_.

I’m positive that just _one_ release to the media like that would be enough to get them soundly convicted for child-endangerment via neglect. Or rather, _gross_ neglect, as it would likely be called.

It was about then that they thanked me profusely for being so utterly generous in offering half the property value and mentioned that they would be going on a very secretive fourth honeymoon in Africa where they would be doing a lot of laying low before hanging up without so much as a goodbye.

They really _should_ be grateful for what I gave them. I could’ve had them killed and the house would just go to me for free considering I’m their only (legitimate) heir, and with what I paid ‘em for the damn thing, they’re at least still technically millionaires (not as great as the quadruplinaires they’d _been_ , but really, it’s better than nothing).

Urgh…they’d been calling me _all day_ before that half-witted blackmail-attempt ended it, though, meaning I couldn’t focus on _anything_.

The issues mentioned at the beginning of today’s entry? Still entirely unattended, and that’s how they’re gonna stay for today.

For the first time in _hours_ I can hear myself think over the phones (this time because they’re not ringing), and I’m going to take advantage of that by _not_ thinking.

If I can make it up the stairs to my damn bedroom, I’m gonna get Finnian settled in my hair and then just drop wherever I fall (hopefully on the bed).


	96. 4/6/09

**4/6/09-**

Chase is bribing me! What is the world coming to?!

Last night before I could get to bed, the aforementioned everlord shows up, takes the initiative to poof us both naked, and then gives me a massage that would’ve knocked my socks off were I wearing any at the time.

I appreciate it, as my tension knots have been completely gone since, but I know exactly what he’s trying to do: he’s trying to bribe, tempt, and otherwise seduce me into going back to him…

…and it’s working.

He’s too fucking _good_ , what can I say?! I can’t help it, and we both know it’s only a matter of time until I’m back at his side.

Not yet, though. At the very least, I’m gonna put up a bit of a fight before I surrender: can’t come off _too_ easy, y’know?

Anyways, as he was giving me the massage, he talked about his day (he totally _humiliated and horrified_ the monks), encouraged me to talk about mine (he congratulated me on so easily turning on my parents), and then at some point, he asked me how I was handling my new status.

I told him I liked it. I told him the figures I was reeling in on an hourly basis, pointed to the two piles of envelopes in my room that I’ve sorted into ‘death-threats’ ‘borderline-pornographic love-letters,’ and then even though I knew it would make him uncomfortable, I started talking about Allen and the affair we’ve been having.

We still haven’t fucked, but as Chase showed me personally back on Valentine’s Day, you don’t need to fuck to have sexual fun.

It was only after I’d recounted a particularly raunchy sexual exploit that I came to the realization that I’d put Chase in a…*ahem* rather prime position to fuck me.

I awkwardly thanked him for the massage (I say awkwardly because I realized I’d been wondering why he _hadn’t_ been fucking me _as_ I was telling the story; I’d forgotten we’d ever stopped doing that) and he got off the bed, got rid of the massage oil on both of us, and before he could leave, I stopped him.

Me: Why didn’t you? You could have.

Chase: I could not have. You have not given me your answer to my apology, yet. And you did not openly invite me to fuck you. When you are ready, you will tell me.

And then he left.

God, though, I know he can’t be trying very hard to get me back, but it’s _working_. He _knows_ I’m in love with him, and he knows just what to do to make me fucking _melt_ at his feet.

That’s why I know for sure I _will_ be going back to him. I’m not sure when, yet, but I know I will be.

Damn him.

In other news, I haven’t done too much with my day. I mean, I tried to focus on other things, specifically the goddamn Tech Changing Chopsticks which are still stuck at a frustrating 78% finished, but then I’d catch sight of Chase’s damn rose on the lab table, and I’d end up staring at it for an hour or two just _thinking_.

I’m not running back to him at the drop of a hat. I’m a man, now; not a kid anymore, and I actually _do_ have some pride to speak of.

Still, I want him, and I guess he still wants me, too, else he wouldn’t even bother with me.

*sigh* I dunno. I think I have to think about this some more.


	97. 4/7/09

**4/7/09-**

Chase continues to make it harder for me to resist his somehow-gravitational pull.

I spent all of yesterday thinking about this whole apology situation, tentatively decided that I’ll be accepting it sometime in the next couple of days, and woke up to find a whole goddamn bouquet on my bedside table.

The guy _does_ know his flower-meanings, I’ll give him that: the bouquet was all begonias and dark pink roses.

Begonias signify deep thoughts and dark pink roses mean appreciation and/or recognition.

Aside from that, the original rose he gave me (I think he put some kind of live-forever spell on it, because it hasn’t wilted a fraction) was moved into the bouquet. There was no note this time, but I get the message he’s trying to give me anyways:

“I’ve been thinking deeply and I appreciate you.”

Of course, there’s the subtle, implied, “I want your ass back in my bed,” but regardless.

Now, my first instinct was to strip naked and use my GTC gloves to ‘port literally on top of him, but I forced that down and went about my day normally.

If I go back to him right away, he’s going to assume I’m an easy slut and that he can manipulate me any way he likes whenever he likes…

…which he pretty much can, but I’m not gonna let _him_ know that. At the very least, I want him to know his actions have consequences, and those consequences are to actually have to make some effort greater than minimal to get me back and in the meantime, he can’t have sex from me.

It’s not much sway in the relationship when you look at the big picture, but I’m content to be able to have that much.

I figure I’ll officially return to giving him sex, like I’d figured out last night, in a couple of days: three or four tops. I’m not budging on that no matter _how_ damn good he is at pushing my buttons in all the right ways.

In the meantime, I’ve kept myself busy by watching TV and working on the Changing Chopsticks.

TV first: THEY’VE LEGALIZED GAY MARRIAGE IN THE STATE OF VERMONT! YES. I know it’s not all that much, but it’s a step towards people like me, and Frankie, and his boyfriend, etc., not being discriminated against because we love a good dick the same way other men love a good pussy. Of course the lesbians, too, but their liking of a good pussy is usually seen as ‘hot’ by perverted heterosexual men…Still, they’re the same as any other homosexual, so they deserve the same rights gay men deserve which are the same legal rights a man and a woman have, so there.

Onto the Tech Changing Chopsticks, however: I’d _thought_ I was done with it, but because of a very _slight_ error, when Finnian went to try it for me in terms of enlargement, he only got to the size of a Chihuahua and stopped growing. He’s stuck there at the moment, but I’m working on correcting the error so he can get back to normal size.

I was getting close, but Finnian himself told me it was too late at night and that I should go to bed; I could fix him in the morning.

I think he actually _likes_ being bigger, though; gives him more power if Negriss tried to confront him, I guess.

In any case, if he tried to sleep in my hair tonight, I might actually get a headache, so as I’m writing this, he’s curled up in my lap as if he _were_ a Chihuahua and…

Oh, fuck, he’s just too cute! I can resist no longer: I must cuddle with him now.


	98. 4/8/09

**4/8/09-**

Urgh…another tiring ass day.

The phone calls have started in incessantly again, but this time, it is from every reporter, producer, television network, and blogger _in the world_.

I did my best to personally decline them all with my cruel sentiments about how I have much better things to do with my time than star on a stupid reality show where I give sluts dumb nicknames while they try to whore themselves out to me, but it’s like they’ve multiplied, and I _could not_ keep up with them.

So…I did the most direct thing I could think of.

I went on my merry fucking way to the biggest news station in China and gave a public address to all of the people that were trying to get in touch with me about endorsement deals, reality shows, interviews, and finding out what current celebs I thought were ‘the sex.’

I told them outright that I was capable of building just about anything I motherfucking wanted to make and that I’d been considering a fleet of spaceships with which to advance space-travel by leaps and fucking _bounds_ past anything scientists and other ‘geniuses’ these days _could_ make, but that if they’d _really_ rather watch me scratch my ass on TV…

I haven’t gotten a single call/e-mail/letter about whoring myself to the media since then. In fact, several world leaders contacted me and asked if I needed any help blocking the influx of requests because they could easily get me a private number and have all letters sent to my address intercepted and carefully screened.

I told ‘em not to bother since I have a very good screening system as it is but that the effort was appreciated.

I then went into the next room to check on said screening system and asked how Frankie was doing at loading the previous letters from the media into the raging bonfire he had going.

He took the moment to mention that he’d gotten everything totally torched except for one letter which _would not_ burn and had The Land of Nowhere as the return address.

Leave it to Chase to actually put that on an envelope and _not_ laugh his head off while he did it.

Apparently, it’d had a protection spell on it that was to keep it from being so much as opened (much less destroyed) by anybody but me, and after knowing what was in it, I’m glad the charm was there.

Chase had sent me a scrapbook (along with a DVD copy he felt that I, someone tied to technology, would appreciate) of every mean, evil, and downright cruel thing the monks had ever done; the same stuff he’d shown them when they declared themselves good the day he gave me that massage.

Which of course reminded me, as I was watching it with Frankie and we were both laughing our asses off, that said pyromaniac had walked in on Chase and I LOLing about that when he’d first told me about it and I had promised to tell my big bro what was so funny later if he’d GTFO and preferably quickly.

Remembering that, I told Frankie that Chase had shown the monks themselves this same stuff when they’d tried to argue that they were the good guys. The hilarity of it was only emphasized by the clip on the screen at the moment, me making dinner for myself before the monks burst in, whacked me on the head with my own frying pan and then proceeded to run to my lab and steal all the Wu I had.

In case you don’t get what was funny about that, they physically assaulted me and knocked me unconscious while I was doing something _innocent_ and I didn’t even have any Wu _on_ my person. Good guys: sure. *eyeroll*

In other news, I finished up the Tech Changing Chopsticks (and sent the original back to Chase), finally, but Finnian surprised me in that, when I finished, he said he didn’t want to go back to normal size. He wanted to stay bigger.

…well, not Chihuahua-sized big; he opted to go a _little_ smaller and he’s about guinea pig-sized now and fully intends to stay that way.

Good for him; he’s decided on a size that makes him happy and he’s sticking with it.

Aside from that, though, I’m _really_ starting to get antsy about this whole Chase-thing.

The _both_ of us know I’m going back to him and _soon_. Would it kill him to just…I don’t know, _not_ tempt me for a day or two?

Urgh, selfish horny bastard…


	99. 4/9/09

**4/9/09-**

Today was…a conflicting day.

It started out with a note on my pillow saying that I would get the new Wu, the Mantis Flip Coin, when I made up my mind about Chase’s apology.

Classy way to motivate me, Chase; classy.

And then, sometime around midafternoon, things went _seriously_ downhill.

I got a second visit from Hannibal Roy Bean, and this one was no less creepy.

In fact, if anything it was _more_ creepy because he was actually in bean-form while his roots…vines…tentacles… _whatever_ the fuck his limbs are, were touching me in intimate ways. It wasn’t actually _beneath clothing_ anywhere below the waist this time, but there was still unwanted ass-squeezing and thigh rubbing, even if it was through the pants as opposed to in them like before. *shudder*

He started going on about how Chase was a total dumbass for having sent a whore like me away at a time in my life when I was _clearly_ undergoing my metamorphosis from clumsy evil caterpillar to graceful evil butterfly.

Apparently, now that I’m the triple-threat of wealthy, powerful, and attractive, Hannibal wants me even _more_.

Whoopee. XP

Anyways, while he was groping at me creepily and doing his damnedest to seduce me (DID NOT work in the LEAST), he tried to tempt me with revenge.

“That fool, Young…he made your eighteenth birthday, something that’s supposed to be a special occasion in a man’s life, _miserable_. Wouldn’t it be right perfect to ruin _his_ birthday, too?”

Only one good thing came of his talking to me, and that was finding out that Chase’s birthday is on the eleventh.

If we were still fucking, I would’ve had to squee at the fact that we share a birth-month.

But anyways, Bean’s plan, apparently, was for me to join up with him and help him topple Chase and his whole empire on his birthday. Before Hannibal killed him, he intended to fuck me in front of Chase so that he’d known it was his own stupidity in spurning me that had brought about his downfall.

I declined again, but this time, he wasn’t taking no for an answer. I could’ve sworn I was a dead man right then, but luckily for me, Chase showed up and whooped his ass (I may actually have to go find Hannibal again; I _need_ to know if he has an ass, at this point).

My knight in shining armor.

I had briefly considered thanking him for driving Bean off so I could peacefully go about my day, but then…

He had to say, “No one threatens _my_ Spicer,” and I just couldn’t help myself: I was on him.

I kissed him so fucking hard _I_ split _his_ lip, but thankfully, he didn’t much care and let me wrap my legs around his waist before lying us back on a lab table.

We didn’t fuck. We just sort of…dry-humped, I guess, but the whole time, we were kissing like we were trying to swallow each other and, if not kissing, growling and panting extremely nasty and filthy words.

When the both of us came and Chase reached down to undo my belt, I, like, came to my senses, I guess, because I gasped and shoved his hand away.

He glared down at me, and I shakily explained that I hadn’t made up my mind yet and that I didn’t want to…

I didn’t finish the sentence but he knew what I was talking about.

He stood up, pulled me off of him and set me back down on the ground, smoothed my hair back a little and told me he would wait for my decision before ‘porting back home.

GRAH.

As if I wasn’t already having _enough_ trouble keeping myself from running back to him at the drop of a hat, now _this_!

Fuck.

I have to go whack off, now.


	100. 4/10/09

**4/10/09-**

Further proof that I have no sense of self-restraint: today, I sucked Chase off at least three or four times under no obligation to do so while still not having given him a definitive answer.

I’m tempted to stick an FML in there, but I’m not going to.

Aww…Finnian senses my distress or something, ‘cause he’s purposefully curled up in my lap and being cuddly, right when I need him to be. <3

Anyways…

I wasn’t totally sure what I should be doing today, so I hung out with Frankie for a couple of hours this morning (long enough to find out his boyfriend’s coming over for his Spring Break), spent another couple of hours rustling through my love-letters and amusing myself by critiquing the photographs they sent (a hot Asian guy splayed on a mattress, naughty bits tastefully concealed by a bedsheet gets a ten out of ten; the 450-pound woman on her back, legs spread and hands prying open her severely furry vagina towards the camera gets a negative eighteen), and then I just sat at the kitchen table for awhile, staring at Chase’s bouquet and _thinking_.

In the middle of said thinking, I was surprised to suddenly be getting a shoulder-rub and innocently (yeah, right) inquired of, “Rough day, Spicer?”

I naturally replied, “Not really,” and let him keep going.

In hindsight, I should’ve asked him to leave before he started in with the serious seduction techniques.

Still rubbing my shoulders, he bent his head and started kissing my neck and whispering how he’d missed my tight ass on his cock, my talented hands in his kitchen, and, because it was mushy and he _knows_ how much the occasional mushy comment gets me, he of course had to add that he even missed my scent on his sheets.

…was there any way I could’ve _not_ cleared the table (shattering the flower-vase; the roses are still okay, though), shoved him onto it, undone his sash, and sucked his cock?

I might’ve just blown him once, but then he growled and held my head there, and that _seriously_ turned me on, so of course I had to deep-throat him, which then led to a second and third blowjob, and...

I was horny as hell at that point, and Chase knew it, but when he tried to fuck me, I told him no again.

He was annoyed.

He didn’t so much as offer a goodbye to me before he was just gone and honestly…?

I deserved it.

I’m being downright _cruel_ to the guy at this point. I mean, he’s already expressed a decent measure of apology for getting rid of me _and_ expressed that, instead of going out and finding a new whore, he wants _me_ in particular back, and I’m _still_ refusing him.

A couple days to think about it is one thing. This…this is different.

Hm…

Tomorrow’s his birthday, isn’t it? Maybe I can make it up to him then. After all, I’m sure he’s gotta be out of cupcakes by now and _I’ve_ pretty much been _teasing_ the poor bastard with sexual acts by being all into it only to shove him away when he tries to actually get inside of me…

…I’m thinking Chase will be privy to a pleasant surprise from me tomorrow…


	101. 4/11/09

**4/11/09-**

I worked my fingers to the bone this morning on duplicating and exceeding my first-ever gift of cupcakes to Chase and ‘ported them directly into his kitchen via the GTC gloves while he was finishing up his morning training and getting ready to go look for breakfast.

I showed up only hours later, after he’d finished breakfast, stark naked save for the collar and leash, the latter part held out to him in offering, and a bottle of glow-in-the-dark lube in my other hand.

He was on me before I could even finish saying, “Happy Birthday.”

I am officially exhausted out of my mind, I’m glowing even _more_ than I was with the first use of that particular type of lubricant, and I’ve no doubt sitting will be next to _impossible_ for the next week or three.

Still, I’m proud of myself for being the better man and celebrating _his_ birthday this year despite the fact that he pretty much ruined mine, and anyways, Chase is happy, so as cheesy as it sounds, I’m happy, too.

Besides, I’m officially his slut again: how could I _not_ be happy?


	102. 4/12/09

**4/12/09-**

Today was a good day.

Last night, I ended up reminding Chase about the fact that my birthday was completely awful without even totally meaning to (I mean, I meant to a _little_ because I’m still holding a mild grudge about that, but I hadn’t meant to bring it up _at that moment_ ) and was essentially shot right the fuck down when he asked me how much I wanted him to spend on a belated birthday present.

We both know that if I’d wanted something physical, I’d have bought it ten times over myself by now; I certainly have the money for it.

If we hadn’t had that split when Wuya’s total bitchiness was discovered, I’d have been happy if he just said, “Happy Birthday,” even if he didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day.

It might be the various psychological issues talking, but I’m not that hard to please in terms of my birthday: I’m happy if it’s _acknowledged_ without somebody hooking my locker up to a car battery or someone telling me they got me a present only to hand me an empty box and exclaim, “APRIL FOOL’S, FOOL!” and run off.

…come to think of it, I fucking hate my birthday. Still, it’s nice when it’s acknowledged…I think.

No one’s ever actually _acknowledged_ it on the day of (my parents occasionally sent a letter or an e-mail, but always three or four weeks _after_ the fact if it comes at all), so I’m just going by the incredibly fleeting feeling I got when I was told ‘happy birthday’ right before some horrible, humiliating prank was pulled on me and it was taken back.

In any case, I didn’t mention the birthday thing again since last night and started getting myself back into the general routine of being Chase’s whore again (meaning sex, sex, and more sex).

Imagine my surprise, when I’d almost completely forgotten about it, for Chase to tell me at dinner that he’d been thinking about it and that I had a somewhat valid point: my birthday _had_ been exceedingly awful and that, for pestering him about it in the extreme minimum, I deserved _some_ form of compensation.

He wants to take me out somewhere for lunch or dinner; somewhere nice and extremely in public where he can show me off as his pretty, willing whore and I can show off to the paparazzi the fact that I’ve finally found a better fuck than ‘that little, blue-haired emo brat.’

Something tells me Chase was not fond of the fact that I made use of Allen when we were separated, but I doubt he would’ve been fond of _anyone_ I’d picked in the meantime to keep from getting blue-balls.

So anyways, after he told me that, I dipped beneath the table, crawled over to his seat and blew him in my gratitude before encouraging him to the bedroom so I could further thank him for his consideration.

Afterwards, he then proceeded to remind that today was Easter (I’d totally forgotten, *facepalm*) and that he’d prepared a game for us while I’d been at the mansion’s lab working.

He’d _somehow_ discovered my insatiable addiction to Cadbury Eggs and hidden a fuckload (an even forty) of them around the house for me to find. For every one I found, he would give me a special ‘treat’ in addition, if you catch my drift.

Turns out I’m quite the motherfucking bloodhound when it comes to two things I love (Cadbury Eggs and Chase-sexing) and I tracked down all forty of the things _without_ so much as touching my Thing-Finder, even the one that’d been hidden on a chandelier.

Needless to say, plenty of sexy and _delicious_ fun was had during the course of the Easter game.

At the moment, however, I’m too excited by the fact that I AM ACTUALLY, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, COMMEMORATING MY BIRTHDAY (if twelve or so days late) BY GOING OUT SOMEWHERE WITH ANOTHER LIVING PERSON to sleep, so I may just have to nudge Chase awake and ‘thank’ him some more.

At the very least, it’d get me physically tired enough to sleep!


	103. 4/13/09

**4/13/09-**

Today. I enjoyed it.

I woke up this morning rather horny. Unfortunately, though, Chase was engaging in his morning training, meaning I was out of luck in terms of a cock to bounce on.

Still, I _am_ a genius, and I know how to make do without (even if it's less fun) so I got around to masturbating and fantasizing with the aid of the sheets that so vividly smell like Chase.

As I was jerking it and fingering myself a little, my wrist brushed against my thigh, still covered in Chase’s dried come from last night, and I felt something odd. I removed my own fingers from myself (but kept jerking it; even my cat-like curiosity will not get me to indulge in blue-balls) and felt at the particular spot where the come had seemed like it was in a pattern.

It was!

Apparently, last night, Chase decided to draw his symbol on me in his semen while I was sleeping.

I went from ‘half-way there’ to ‘climax’ in about ten seconds flat when I realized he’d marked me like that.

Anyways, after the morning masturbation, I got up to go shower (mine and Chase’s dried come was still all over me; honestly, I’d leave there if it didn’t dry itchy and uncomfortable, but y’know…) and just as I was bending over to grab the loofa, I find I’m quite suddenly having sex!

Chase had finished his morning training and come to find his Sex Muffin for…well, sex.

Of course, I obliged considering he is the God to my Muffin and shower-sex was had until the water got too cold, when he pretty much just moved us into a pool I didn’t know he had, at which point sexy pool games were played.

There was one where he’d throw an object that sank in the water further and further away and if I could fetch it and bring it back to him each time, I’d get sucked off, and then there was another one where he got to fuck me if he could catch me.

That one lasted surprisingly long. I could’ve sworn he’d have caught me in two seconds flat, but I had him chasing for a good twenty minutes when I finally got tired and he popped out of the water behind me and grabbed me.

He said it only took that long because I was abnormally quick in the water, but I think it’s just because he hasn’t used his pool in several centuries.

Anyways, sexy fun was had and by 3:00 or 4:00, Chase sent me off to my newly-rebuilt lab in his palace to keep tinkering with the Mantis Flip Coin.

I honestly didn’t get much done. I mean, I could probably figure out how to make a machine that, when worn, would enhance a person’s physical strength, but I’m looking for something more permanent and less in the way than that; since the beginning, I’ve been thinking it could be better mass-produced and marketed if it were in a medicinal form.

Of course, I’m not very good with biological stuff; I mean, I am, but it’s not my specialty in the least.

Why would it be? Biology is the study of living things: I pretty much hate every living thing I’ve ever come across (with an exception of about four people/animals).

In any case, I’m thinking I’m gonna need to call Katnappé in on this soon if I want to get anything done. I can’t _stand_ the bitch with her cat obsession (which really only looks good on Chase, whose cats are _lions and tigers and shit_ , not housecats) and the cat-puns are gonna drive me batshit, I’m sure, but I’m smart enough to recognize I _will_ need some help turning this into an ingestible form.

Urgh…do not want to associate with cat-bitch, even if it’s necessary…

My belated birthday celebration is supposed to be happening tomorrow, but even that thought isn’t making me happier about having to talk to that bimbo, much _less_ work with her.

I think I just may have to go find my Sex God for a pick-me-up!


	104. 4/14/09

**4/14/09**

So exhausted…so drunk…so sore in places I don’t even wanna think about…

 _Never_ been happier in my life.  <3


	105. 4/15/09

**4/15/09-**

Well, now that it’s not the middle of the night and I’m not desperate to scribble any old thing down, I believe I can go into greater detail on the Best Motherfucking Birthday I’ve Ever Had in My Goddamn Life.

Why, yes, I _am_ applying for a patent to that!

So, yesterday, Chase and I got dressed up in very nice clothing (had to look the part of the young, new business mogul and his mysterious, handsome beau, after all) and went out for a marvelous evening of dinner and dancing.

He took me to this place in New York, called “Sounds of Brazil,” and of course, I drew a measure of evil smug in that fact: Chase had previously been fucking Raimundo, who is, in fact, Brazilian, and yet here Chase was, taking _me_ to such a restaurant and not _him_.

I said as much to Chase.

Me: You brought _me_ here.

Chase: Yes. Yes, I did, Spicer.

Me: No, I mean... you brought _me_ , not... Rai.

Chase: Are you doing recreational drugs, Spicer? Why would I bring that fool here?

Me: Well, you _were_ fucking him.

Chase: Yes, I was. But he was never worth an apology and putting up with cock-teasing shenanigans just to get him back in my bed.

And then I about _had_ to kiss him, because really, could I _not_ have? Highly doubtful.

People turned into asses around then; hooting and whistling like they’d never before seen an oddly-colored multimillionaire smooching a sexy, Asian guy who exudes an aura of pure evil.

Pffftt… *eyeroll*

We danced, we had dinner, both of us were propositioned for various things (I got a few business deals I’m definitely considering, Chase got a few requests to dance, and the both of us got numerous pleas for sex), _and_ I made Chase laugh, _twice!_

The first time was when our waiter brought by an appetizer that we hadn’t ordered ‘on the house’ and I commented how weird it was that I was rich as a sonuvabitch now, and yet I apparently had no more need of buying anything _because_ I was that rich.

After hearing Chase laugh at that, I _had_ to try and get him to laugh again, so I tried all my best material. I didn’t get so much as a chuckle until I did the one about British food.

Me: Have you ever noticed how weird British food is?

Chase: Hmmm?

Me: Well, think about it. Here in America, it's eggs-on-toast, chicken noodle soup, raisin cookie… In England, it's Toad-in-the-Hole, Cock-A-Leeky Soup, Spotted Dick… Let me tell ya’ something: Anybody in _our_ country's putting a spotted dick in their mouths...? Rest assured, _bad_ things are happening.

Chase: *slight quirk of his lips*

Me: *notices and takes advantage of it* Think about it! Britain has to be the only country in the world where you can commit a felony offense just by ordering lunch!

Chase: *barely-there, held-back smile*

Me: I'd hate to think what dessert would be like. Try ordering an ice cream sundae. 'Yes, I'd like some Caramel 25-to-life with chocolate sprinkles, please. Hold the cherry; I won't need it where I'm going'.

Chase: *full-out LOL*

I laughed with him more out of triumph at having succeeded in my epic quest to make Chase Young laugh like a normal person, and a fabulous evening was had…

…at least until the paparazzi showed up.

In all honesty, though, it kinda got _better_ when they came.

Chase dragged me into the bathroom so we could just teleport out of there, but…

I’ve had a very hot fantasy of sex in a public bathroom for quite awhile now, and I couldn’t resist dragging _him_ into a stall and sucking him off.

Of course, some paparazzi followed us in there and Chase, the evil bastard he is, used some kind of light-obscuring spell to make our feet (and pretty much any part of us that was showing beneath the door of the stall) invisible, but it came at a price.

I couldn’t move or make so much as a sound lest the spell be broken, and the whole time he continued giving me instructions on how he wanted me to suck him and saying all these hot and filthy things he wanted to do to me…

I really should’ve been mad at him for putting me in that position, but it was just way too hot. When he started talking about how I’d probably _like_ the world to know how bad I wanted him to fuck me, I came right there in my pants before finishing up his blowjob.

He pulled me up and I heard people outside getting their cameras ready ‘cause the sudden motion broke the spell and when he ‘ported us back to my bedroom at the mansion, I had a minor freak-out that somebody’d gotten a picture of something highly suggestive. Chase promised I was safe, though. No bathroom-photos have shown up in any tabloids, either, so I think everything’s okay.

I totally wasn’t expecting the surprise party he led me to immediately afterwards, though.

By the time _that_ was over, I was touched, overjoyed, and drunk, though the latter no more than I was on St. Patrick’s Day, and I was then dragged off back to the palace for the long-awaited dessert.

Banana pudding. XD

I couldn’t help laughing like a maniac! He’d dressed it up so fancy; I mean it was at this romantic-looking table with lit candles, and…come to think of it, I think there was a mint leaf garnishing it, too. It was fucking ridiculous.

But anyways, sexy fun was had with the banana pudding (involving a lot of licking it off and out of places, if you catch my drift) and by two or three in the morning, I just passed out in a sweat-drenched, come-covered heap on the bed and woke up an hour or so later to scribble in my brief entry.

Today both Chase and I have been lying around the palace, too sore and exhausted from yesterday to do much else.

I’ve made sure to let him know how dearly I appreciate the fact that he made the Best Motherfucking Birthday I’ve Ever Had in My Goddamn Life (he laughed when I said I was going to get that patented one of these days) happen by being the one to get out of bed to bring food and various objects for amusement when they were needed even though he said he could get one of his warriors to do it.

I want him to know that he’s the first person in my life to actually make an effort to see that my birthday isn’t hell and that I am _grateful_ for that.

Seriously, if I hadn’t been totally in love with him beforehand, yesterday would’ve done it for sure. I may actually have to get on my knees right now and su

  
 **4/15/09 (UPDATED)-**

Chase was reading over my shoulder, told me how wonderful I am for his ego, and made me fulfill that half-written promise of sucking his cock before returning the favor.

*sigh* I really do love that man… <3


	106. 4/16/09

**4/16/09-**

Tolerable is really the only adjective I can think of for today because there were really good parts and really terrible parts, and I think that balances it out overall.

The _worst_ part of today was that Chase invited Katnappé over so we could discuss this whole Mantis Flip Coin thing ‘cause he knew I wouldn’t take the initiative on my own.

Now, Ashley…the girl gives me headaches with all her cat-related speech (it’s like my head has a natural aversion to obnoxious and incessant puns, really), and not just a slight throbbing of the skull, either: full-blown, cheese-grater to the brain _migraines_.

I didn’t even make it through dinner with her, so one can imagine my apprehension about working with her so closely on this project. I’m hoping we can knock it out in a couple of days, or at the very least, find a way that we can communicate without me having to actually hear her voice.

But anyways, dinner: she came over and, while all three of us were busy with the appetizer of the meal, I started trying to articulate my point of what I thought we should try to do with it and got stuck for all of two seconds trying to think of the appropriate word to use.

Immediately, she jumped in with, “What’s wrong, Spicer, cat got your tongue?” and if that weren’t horrid enough, she added, “Let the cat out of the bag.”

My migraine began instantly and only worsened as the night went on.

Eventually, we came to an understanding of what we would be attempting to do with it and then we moved onto how we’d market it and then split the profits. I let her pick the marketing technique since I figured it’d give her the chance to use her flair for the dramatic in drawing customers in and stipulated my usual 60-40 split of the profits.

She declared that she thought that was the ‘cat’s whiskers’ and congratulated me on giving her a fair 60% of the money.

I decided to give her a taste of her own medicine and told her she was putting a ‘cat amongst the pigeons’ by saying that and firmly laid down that I was getting 60%, she was getting 40%, end of story, fuck you.

God knows why, but Chase decided to be cute and teased me about ‘suddenly acting like the evil genius I claimed to be’ when only yesterday I had been his ‘pathetic, simpering servant.’

By then, the light in the dining room was making my head both spin and pound at the same time and I couldn’t help myself from glaring at him and informing matter-of-factly that I _am_ a motherfucking evil genius _goddammit_ and that he’s about the only one in the world that I _will_ kow-tow to, _thank you very fucking much_.

He left me alone after that. I think he got the message that I was in physical and mental distress at that point and would not respond well to…well, really, _anything_.

The main course came and _of course_ it would fucking be tuna, which had Katnappé purring some coy comment about how she must be grinning like a Cheshire, and then I couldn’t fucking take it anymore with the migraine getting to the point that a sicky mcbarfpuke wave of nausea washed over me.

I asked Chase to excuse me but that I really didn’t feel well and that I was going to go lie down for awhile. I didn’t even wait to hear if he _had_ , in fact, excused me before leaving.

That was the terrible part of today, at least.

The nice part came a couple of hours later when I guess dinner had finished and Ashley was sent home and Chase came in to my room to find me curled up in bed under the blankets with the lights off.

By the time he showed up, I’d already puked and taken an amount of aspirin just shy of an overdose, my head was pounding so bad.

I think he’d wanted sex by the vibe I was getting from him, but there was just no way and I expressed as much the second he lay a hand on my shoulder.

I said, and I quote, “Please don’t touch me, I think there’s a jackhammer lodged in my skull and if I move too much, it might crack open.”

He seemed…surprised, I guess, that I was so affected by just Katnappé’s manner of speech, but idioms and puns in general just really make my head hurt.

It’s probably a psychosomatic thing. That bitch, Ms. Merriweather used them rather frequently, and I’ve never had great memories of her. I might be subconsciously reacting to hearing puns and doing…stuff, I dunno, I lost my train of thought.

 _I’m_ not surprised Ashley gives me a migraine: with the natural affinity against puns/idioms I have already, _plus_ the fact that she can’t say a single sentence without using them _at least_ three of four times, it’s a miracle I made it to the beginning of the main course!

But back to the good part about today: Chase acknowledged that I was feeling like crap, brought me some seltzer water and snuggled with me the rest of the night.

That was sincerely awesome of him.

As it is, my migraine has finally receded enough for me to write this (meaning a dull throb) and considering the fact that it’s sometime past midnight, I’m gonna go back to bed and start thinking about some way to talk to Katnappé without _listening_ to her tomorrow so that this kind of nightmarish headache can be avoided in future.


	107. 4/17/09

**4/17/09-**

Feeling a lot better, at the moment. The migraine has has almost completely disappeared and is now only barely there in that I’ll get that ‘brain whapping against the inside of the skull’ feeling if I move my head too quickly.

I showed my appreciation to Chase for cuddling with me last night when I felt like total shit by making a nice breakfast, during which he demanded to know how I intended to work with Katnappé on this thing if I got a migraine that bad by only associating with her for all of forty-five minutes.

I had actually come up with a pretty good idea in my half-restless sleep last night on what to do about that, but I didn’t want to give it away.

It’s total genius, after all, and I wanted it to be a surprise. >=D

I told Chase as much and treated him to a couple of morning fucks for skipping out on him last night (even if I was incapacitated and wouldn’t have been any good anyways, I still feel bad about denying my horny Sex God) before scurrying off to the lab to put my idea into action.

Not four hours later saw it finished: an ultra-thin band of metal with an electronic light strip in the middle and the remote that controls it.

Chase, of course, wanted to know how this thing would be helping me to deal with Ashley, so I gave him possibly _the_ smuggest grin I’ve ever given in my life and said, “Invite her over; I’ll show you.”

He did and the second she walked through the door, a press of a button had the band latching onto and curling around her throat, the light strip blinking red once to show that it was active.

She glared at me and went to ask what I thought I was doing via cat-pun…

…and was immediately zapped by the shock-collar I’d designed specifically to electrocute her whenever a cat-related word escaped her lips while within 100 yards of me.

She tried it again two more times before just stopping and trying to pull it off (unsuccessfully; that thing’s not coming off until the MFC stuff is _over_ , I made sure of it).

Naturally, I taunted her through her own medium:

“What’s wrong, Ashley? Cat got _your_ tongue? Well, that’s too bad, because I cannot stand you speaking in constant feline idioms, so while we’re working together, I’d rather you not use them. I knew you wouldn’t be able to hold up that promise even if I’d gotten you to make it, but there’s more than one way to skin a cat. That thing’ll go off whenever you try to say the word ‘cat’ or any other words directly relating to it. I’ll bet that makes you mad enough to kick a cat, but now that the cat’s out of the bag, your days of getting the cream by breaking my brain with your incessant puns are over.”

I was on such a power high when I said that to her and she looked up at me, totally _horrified_ , wanting to beg me to take it off but actually having to think about how to say it in a way that wouldn’t get her shocked.

Chase thought it was just about the hottest thing ever.

He was barely able to tell his warriors to escort Katnappé out before pouncing on me and fucking the living daylights out of me.

Not that I mind, of course: _anything_ for the Sex God considering his Sex Muffin no longer has anything physically wrong with him that would prevent that.

In any case, Ashley’s coming by tomorrow to start working on the Mantis Flip Coin thing, I have had a definite evil, and Chase enjoyed said evil to the point that he’s actually in the mood for more sex as I write this.

Hmmm…journal or Sex God…?

Obvious choice, isn’t it?


	108. 4/18/09

**4/18/09-**

*sigh* I am really feeling _good_ about this project. I _really_ am.

Before Katnappé showed up this morning to work on the project, I decided to send Finnian back to the mansion for safe-keeping.

Why, you might ask? Well, follow my train of thought:

Ashley is one of the closest living representatives of a furry I’ve ever met in my life, one who believes she is a cat to the extent that she had a tail surgically grafted onto her ass.

Knowing this, I’ve no doubt that she has eaten mice, birds, and other small mammals just for the sake of being a cat.

Finnian (despite his recent size increase) is a rat.

Katnappé is already angry with me about the fact that I have her collared and totally prevented from using her cat-puns around me without taking personal damage in doing so and is only likely to get angrier the longer the project goes on.

An angry Katnappé is _very_ likely to try and get back at me for causing her inconvenience by attempting to eat my pet rat.

Therefore, in the interest of preventative medicine, I have sent him back to the mansion with a note telling Frankie just why I need him to watch Fin for awhile and instructions on how to take care of him. I’ve also stipulated that keeping Snakey McSonuvabitch away from the little guy will piss the scaly belt off to no end, which brings in Frankie’s personal interest in that he is not fond of Negriss in the least.

Anyways, though…

Ashley showed up early with some of her own equipment (because I don’t have all of the necessary components for handling biological-type stuff) and we got to work.

It was _awesome_.

She was glaring at me the whole time and she could never just say something; she had to think about it first so she wouldn’t instinctively use a pun and get shocked.

Of course, that didn’t _stop_ her from getting shocked.

Katnappé: I think I’ve got the right formula figured out; this, when ingested, should give someone more lives than a ca-*BZZZZZT*

Me: *smug grin*

Katnappé: Okay, Jack, I can’t take this anymore! Take this thing _off_! A cat can look at a ki-oh, shi-*BZZZZZT*

Me: *fighting back laughter* Looks like you’re having some trouble adjusting, huh, Ashley?

Katnappé: This isn’t _funny_ , Spicer! Take it off, or I’ll kick your ass; or are you too much of a fraidy cat to-*BZZZZZT*

Me: *laughing while she writhes on the floor in pain*

It really only got better from there when she tried to threaten me into getting rid of her collar (an utterly failed attempt, by the way).

Katnappé: *raising claws threateningly* Spicer, you will take this off, or I _swear_ I’ll-*BZZZZZT* OH, WHAT’D I SAY _THAT_ TIME?!

Me: You didn’t say anything. *raises remote* This works manually, too.

Katnappé: *hisses* If you insist on being such an immature _dick_ about this thing, Jack, then consider me _out_. I’m leaving right now, and I’m taking all the work we got done today, too!

Me: I don’t think you will.

Katnappé: Oh, yeah? Are you gonna stop me, you emo little shit?

Me: Nope. _You’re_ gonna stop you.

Katnappé: Uh-huh. And how’s _that_ gonna work?

Me: As I have it set right now, that collar keeps you from saying your usual cat-related puns when you’re in 100 yards of my person and I’m the only one who knows how to get it off. If you leave or do anything to endanger the project from my perspective (meaning _steal_ it when we’re all done, Ms. Thief, or any other sabotage attempts you’ve got in mind), I can set it so that it’ll go off _anywhere_ you are.

Katnappé: Y…you’re bluffing…

Me: I’m not. Honestly, I think the world would be better off if you couldn’t ever say the word ‘cat’ again. Of course, if you somehow decide that that’s a minimal consequence and go against me anyways, _knowing_ full-well it’ll make it impossible for you to ever use your favorite method of speaking ever again, I’ll be setting it off manually at random intervals, just to be an ‘emo little shit’ and probably for the rest of your life.

Katnappé: *stunned silence, likely wondering when I’d actually gotten _evil_ *

Me: So…Ashley. How about you get the sand out of your vagina, work with me on this project until it’s finished, and then, when it’s over, I’ll take the collar off and never put it on you again provided that there are no attempts to steal or sabotage the project in any way after the fact? *holds out hand to help her off the floor*

Katnappé: … *takes it* Fine…

To be honest, we really didn’t get much work done with all the hissing and yowling the bitch was doing about the whole collar thing, but it was worth it with all the fun I had training my new pet to obey me the way I wanted her to.

Consequently, more fun was had after she left when Chase declared that watching me manipulate someone against their will with such surprising ease was one of the biggest turn-ons he’d ever had in his life.

He was so sexually-frustrated from watching that for three hours and not able to intervene that we ended up ‘rolling in the hay’ for around _six_ hours straight with very few breaks in between (and only then to use the bathroom and rehydrate ourselves).

*sigh* To reiterate, I feel _good_ about this project…


	109. 4/19/09

**4/19/09-**

Good feeling gone, annoyance and mild heart-break setting in.

So…when Katnappé was over today for the project, she asked to be excused from the lab to go to the bathroom, and I got a little suspicious when ‘going to the bathroom took twenty minutes.’

I went to investigate…

…and found her trying to get jiggy with Chase who was not shoving her away in the least.

Naturally, my first instinct was ‘SET THE COLLAR ON FATAL SHOCK AND FRY THE BITCH,’ but I stopped my hand before it could get to the remote in my pocket.

Chase held her closer and teased me, asking if it bothered me.

I honestly answered, “Yes, very much so and some of my more primal instincts are demanding I arrange both of your gruesome deaths in a fiery explosion that looks like an accident.”

He asked me why didn’t I do just that?

I asked what the fuck _could_ I do about it? He’s the most powerful man in the world: he can fuck whomever he wants to fuck and there’s nothing I can do about it. Besides that, he’s my overlord, not my boyfriend, so I don’t even have any real claim on him, anyways.

I said very firmly that absolutely nothing in the universe could make me stay and watch, however, and (just because I knew it would bug Chase to no end) I changed the settings on the collar from 100 yards to 1 yard and told Katnappé she was free to use her normal speech patterns (which I’m sure caused cat-puns to pour from her mouth like a waterfall during sex).

With that, I left and went back to my room, which is far enough away from where they were so that I didn’t have to hear them fucking.

While they were doing that, I took the GTC gloves and some ordinary household items and ‘ported over to the Xiaolin temple to blow off some steam…

…or rather blow _up_ some stuff.

I felt the need to destroy something kind of urgently, so I made a rudimentary bomb and sicced it on the losers.

Suffice it to say it wasn’t a very good bomb: only about _half_ the temple is rubble and there were no casualties (tons of injuries, though), but I mean, gimme a break! It was on short notice and going back to the lab to get better supplies would mean walking through the room where vomit-inducing coitus was occurring, which I was not about to do.

Later, after the bitch-whore left, Chase tried to sweet-talk me.

He came up behind me, nuzzled my neck and told me how pleased he was with me for being mature about it and that I _had_ to be the perfect minion.

I briefly considered telling him to fuck off and calling him a syphillitic jizz pig, but I figured that’d likely get me a broken neck, so I refrained and just didn’t say anything.

He explained that it wasn’t that I wasn’t a satisfying enough whore, it was just that there were times when he wanted to fuck females, so unless I was going to suddenly grow a vagina, he _would_ have female consorts in addition to me.

Conceivably, I _could_ grow a vagina if I really wanted to figure out all the bio-science that came with it.

I don’t.

For one thing, bio-science is not my field and for another, I’m _gay._ Not sexually-attracted-to-men-and-not-women gay; sexually-attracted-to-men-and-girl-parts-a

re-a-turn-off-of- _epic_ -proportions gay. If I were to give myself female anatomy, I’m not sure I’d ever get hard again just knowing I also have a vagina.

So, that’s right the fuck out.

I told him fine, whatever, I don’t much care, now leave me alone, I’m busy (I was cleaning up the lab a little now that there was no vomit-inducing coitus to keep me from going there).

Chase, not one for being brushed off, decided to make me a promise in the attempt of coaxing me out of my snit: he gave his word that he would never flaunt the women he used for heterosexual sex in front of me.

I appreciated that very much, so I gave him an honest ‘thank you,’ to which he believed he was off the hook and tried to fuck me.

No way. Not tonight. Not after I was perfectly aware of where his dick had been mere hours previous and that he likely hadn’t even taken a shower what with the smell of sex still on him.

I told him he could fuck around with whatever women he wants and that’s fine with me (not that I could do anything about it if it wasn’t), but I made it perfectly clear that sex with me would not be happening directly after sex with a woman because, quite frankly, vagina is disgusting to me considering I’m particularly _homo_ sexual and not _bi_ sexual as Chase is and to know that his cock had _just_ been in one and would’ve been inside me right afterwards would likely end up with me not even getting hard and puking half-way through.

He offered to bathe first, but I told him, honestly, that sex tonight was not happening unless he was up for a romantic evening of rape.

Chase left me alone after that and is in his room sulking as I write this.

I’ll fuck him tomorrow, once he’s showered and the thought of Chase/Ashley fucking isn’t so disgustingly vivid in my head.


	110. 4/20/09

**4/20/09-**

Urgh, I am _so_ whipped: no matter how many times it happens, I _always_ feel bad about doing something Chase doesn’t like or denying him sex, even if I’m 100% sure I was completely within my rights in doing it.

This morning, I went and groveled to him like a dog for last night because I felt guilty about being squicked by sex at the time through no fault of my own.

He didn’t want to accept my apology at first, talking about how rude and bitchy a thing it was to deny him sex just because he’d fucked a woman that day, and I realized he didn’t totally get my point yesterday.

I told him, in no uncertain terms, that I’d have sex with him the same day he’d had sex with a woman: I just didn’t want to know anything about it having happened because it made me physically ill to think about.

Like they say, ignorance is bliss.

Chase was still annoyed, but he was wavering, so I further explained that he _knew_ I was in love with him and it was hard enough for me to know he would be actively having sex with females alongside me and force myself to be okay with it, but to add visuals in and specific knowledge of who he’d fucked and when was just _way_ too much for me and that I…I really couldn’t handle that.

He pointed out that he’d promised not to flaunt women in my face and I’d still refused to fuck him, and I pointed out that he’d only made that promise _after_ he’d already flaunted Katnappé in my face and, because of that, I was too psychologically squicked to even think about having sex with him because I knew precisely who he’d fucked and when.

When I’m having sex with Chase, I want to be able to focus on _him_ and pleasing _him_ , _not_ thinking about all the other people he’d fucked that day and wondering if they did something better than I did besides just being female and if I should call them later and ask them for tips.

When I expressed as much, my apology was accepted and Chase declared it flattering that I wanted so desperately to make him my sole focus and hot, passionate make-up sex was had right there on the breakfast table.

We’d only barely managed to get dressed again and relatively cleaned up when the monks burst in demanding to see me.

Chase was confused as to why they were so intent on _me_ in particular and didn’t they have anything to say to _him_ , the evil, immortal everlord in the room?

It was around then that Rai audibly _growled_ at me and said very clearly that it hadn’t been _Chase_ that had blown half their temple to Hell with a pipe-bomb and injured sixty or so elderly monks.

Chase hadn’t known that I’d done that and I’d been hoping to keep it that way until the Brazilian asstard opened his big mouth.

I knew it wouldn’t help my case much now that they’d spilled the beans, but I definitely wanted them out and as quickly as possible, so I went for the Tech Eye of Dashi (the version that I had modified into a personal taser) and shooed them out.

Not that it was very hard: none of them were in very good condition from the explosion. In fact, Clay’s leg was broken and Kimiko looked to have a concussion by the bandages on her head (for which I am _not_ sorry in the least; she’s a bitch).

Once they were out and the door was slammed behind them, I turned around to find Chase already advancing on me, demanding to know about all this ‘pipe-bomb business.’

I told him the truth: when I’d left the Mountain yesterday so he and Katnappé could fuck, I’d been upset because he hadn’t yet told me about the ‘occasional female-craving’ thing and I’d thought he was screwing Ashley because of some inadequacy in bed on my part.

I’d wanted to destroy something and cause people pain without bringing damage to Chase’s palace and warriors, so I went out and found a place and group of people to take my frustrations out on that deserved it.

Apparently, Chase finds that fact incredibly hot because the next thing I knew I was face-down in his bed, being fucked rather soundly, and being growled at about how _deliciously_ evil I was becoming and yet so _perfectly_ loyal to him.

I, of course, declared him my perfect Sex God and promised I’d never be a bitch like I was last night again and that he could have my ass when and where he wanted for as _long_ as he wanted it.

That was, apparently, the correct thing to say because he came and just as quickly had me turned around on my back for more sex.

Ashley was supposed to come over for more work on the project today, but when she found the front doors tightly sealed and called my cell phone to ask what the fuck was going on, Chase answered (as he was pounding into me, I might add) and told her we were busy and to come back tomorrow.

At the very least, I find some manner of comfort in the fact that he chose me over her, even if it was just in a little way like that.

As it is…I’m thinking I might want to try out a recipe for Baked Alaska Granny sent me a couple of days ago (she wanted some and she’s not legally allowed near lit flame anymore, so she wanted me to make it for her).

After I send off a piece to Granny on express GTC glove delivery (there in three to four seconds or your money back), I figure Chase, with his massive sweet-tooth, might appreciate some sugary noms.


	111. 4/21/09

**4/21/09-**

Another good day and one can tell it by my ear-to-ear grin!

It was one of those days that I even _woke up_ happy, so as per my usual, I went to spread the good mood with some morning fellatio for Chase which made today one of those days that _he_ woke up happy, too!

After that and the vigorous morning sex, I happily trotted off to prepare a knock-your-socks-off breakfast for Chase while he took care of his morning exercises and whatnot. Naturally, I made sure to have plenty of meat at the table because when he’s just coming down off an adrenaline high he prefers the taste of meat and I know that.

I was rewarded for my foresight in such by being bent over the stove (it was off, thankfully, though still warm). I was fucked as Chase thanked me for the trouble of slaving over a hot stove all morning by bending me over it for the _rest_ of the morning.

So! Sometime later, Katnappé showed up and the two of us went down to the lab and started working on this Mantis Flip Coin juice thing some more.

It’s really harder than you’d think: our whole process consists of her making up different formulas (which only she can considering biology isn’t my strong-suit and only she really has any idea of how certain chemicals affect humans) and then running it through…well, it’s essentially a ‘what-if?’ machine of my own creation that I whipped up due to the fact that we don’t have any human volunteers to work with.

How it works is you put certain unchangeable factors into it (particularly, we specify that it’s for humans and that the age-range is sixteen to sixty-five, more often than not healthy) and then enter the variables (whatever Katnappé’s combination of chemicals happens to be during that particular trial).

So far, we don’t have anything concrete. We came close to one formula that would give a human supernatural athletic abilities today, but it came with the side-effect of our virtual guy’s heart and liver simultaneously exploding, so we’ve gotta keep trying.

Now…I’m going to say it right now and let it be known that I’m fully-aware of this: I am a petty, hate-filled bitch when I’m jealous.

All day, I was just tormenting and teasing Ashley (psychologically; no shock-collar treatment this time) just because I knew she’d slept with Chase and, while I couldn’t do anything to make it stop or take it out on Chase, he’d never told me I couldn’t be the petty, hate-filled bitch I felt like to Ashley.

So I was.

I made sure to keep it psychological, though, because I figured Chase would get pissed at me for hurting her _physically_ and making her in any way unusable sexually, but again: petty, hate-filled bitch to her otherwise.

Me: So, uh…Ashley…has Chase ever taken you out anywhere?

Katnappé: …no.

Me: Oh. I see. And, uh…has he ever let you see him meditating?

Katnappé: *sounding jealous*… _no_.

Me: That sucks. Well, I’m sure he at least fucked you once or twice in his bed.

Katnappé: …

Me: *pitying* Awwww…

Katnappé: *defensive* I never wanted him to!

Me: Alright, cat-bitch, I’ll stop so we can get back to work on this thing, but first I want to make something perfectly clear: _I_ am Chase’s main-whore. _You_ are just the one he fucks when he gets a craving for pussy. You’re the specialty whore, the _novelty_ whore he’ll come to when he needs a change of pace, and _I_ am the one he’ll go to for everything else. In layman’s terms, _I’m_ the main-squeeze; _you_ are the side-bitch.

She was pissed by then; pissed enough to come flying at me, claws at the ready with the desperate desire to tear my throat out.

I think she was a little frustrated that I’d activated my matter-shifter and turned into unslicable diamond and traded blows with her now that she’d started it and I could claim self-defense to Chase.

She got even _more_ frustrated when Chase actually showed up to intervene and pulled her off me.

I practically came in my pants when, after he shoved us apart and got her to _at least_ stop hissing, he chastised the both of us.

Chase: Spicer, stop tormenting Ashley; Ashley, stop trying to shred Spicer for telling you the truth. *letting go of our arms* Now, I expect the two of you _children_ to play nice and stop fighting over my cock long enough to get your work done.

HAHA, ASHLEY, WHAT NOW?! I _AM_ THE MAIN WHORE AND YOU _ARE_ THE SIDE-BITCH! CHASE _HIMSELF_ CONFIRMED IT!

Oh, what’s that? I can’t hear you over the sound of how FUCKING AWESOME I am!

*pleased sigh*

As of now, I’m thinking I should stop gloating to my journal and fuck Chase about eight or nine times for putting me in such a mood that I’ll gloat to a book because it’s the only thing around!


	112. 4/22/09

**4/22/09-**

Katnappé didn’t come over today; she called and said she needed to stay home and lick her wounds. Of course, I’d sort of figured that phrase was coming so I’d set her collar to a million yards before and so she got zapped when she said it. XD

Apparently, though, I’d done a little bit of a number on her yesterday ‘cause of one or two diamond-fisted punches, so while it wasn’t life-threatening (CURSES, FOILED AGAIN), she wanted to spend a day just chilling out and ‘healing up.’

Drama queen…Still, see me complaining about her lack of presence!

Today was relatively okay; sex was had, the usual stuff, etc.

Then, my thoughts decided to turn in an extremely morbid direction for no reason whatsoever and I _could not_ stop thinking about death and dying.

Not the kind of ‘I want to’ stuff, but more like ‘I wonder’ and ‘what if.’

Considering that my brain had locked itself into that death-spiral (as it, unsurprisingly enough, _has_ before; I have issues), I knew I wouldn’t be able to think about anything else until I’d talked about it, so I somehow managed to wrangle Chase into an in-depth discussion on the subject-matter with the starter, “What’s your dream-death?”

Not too much came out of the whole thing; I didn’t have any religious epiphanies or new feelings on death, but (after a little coaxing to get Chase to talk about it) I managed to figure out that if he had to die and he was able to choose the method, Chase would prefer to die a warrior’s death: a frontal wound in battle by an opponent who bested him honestly and without trickery.

I wasn’t all that surprised; I could’ve guessed as much on my own.

Nobody ever expects how _I_ wanna die, though. People always assume since I’m a coward, I want to go painlessly: at a ripe old age in my sleep.

To be honest, that kind of death _terrifies_ me.

First of all, it’s painless and it's in my sleep, so I wouldn’t even know I was dying which is scary in and of itself: it’s like life-rape, y’know? The worst kind of rape _possible_.

Second of all, though, it would be at ‘a ripe old age,’ which is another thing I’m not fond of. I’ve _seen_ what I look like when I get old, and I _don’t_ want that. I don’t wanna get all wrinkly and ugly and essentially crippled. That kind of fragility and helplessness…it’s gotta be _hell on earth._

That’s why I wanna die young and a combination of painfully and slowly. I want to go out with a _mind-boggling_ amount of pain so I _know_ what’s happening and that I’m dying. I want to go out slowly while in that pain so I can comprehend that it’s over and can contemplate my life and regrets and such. I want to die young so I don’t suffer the hell of getting old and losing my senses/mobility/ability not to break bones just by moving.

In fact, I’ve got this plan that if I make it to Age 40 I’m going to kill myself by swallowing three or four razors: painful _and_ slow, and it guarantees that I won’t be making it to Age 41. Better to go out in a blaze of glory than to just fade away, y’know?

Anyways…after Chase navigated me away from _that_ morbid path of discussion, we fucked some more, and eventually we just ended up cuddling in front of a fireplace somewhere.

That was nice.

Urgh…I just realized I’m gonna have to talk to _Katnappé_ again tomorrow.

CRAP.


	113. 4/23/09

**4/23/09-**

I think I may have broken Chase.

Ever since we had that death-talk yesterday, he’s been off.

As an example, Katnappé came over (with a big purple bruise on her cheek, courtesy of yours truly) this morning to work on the project and, now that she was aware of the fact that she’s the specialty whore, tried to tempt Chase into some heterosexual sex right in front of me and _extremely_ blatantly.

I would’ve expected him to politely push her off, tell her he wasn’t in the mood and then fuck her later while I was occupied with something and wouldn’t be thinking about it as per his promise to me: no flaunting women in my face.

Instead of that, he barely glanced at her, shoved her away with the statement that he had no time for her nonsense before telling me to take her down to the lab so we could get back to work on the Mantis Flip Coin.

Not his usual motif, especially considering that Katnappé went off about twenty times afterwards boasting that she was about to fuck my Sex God only to come back every time pouting and glaring annoyedly at me.

I don’t know why, but I guess she thought I’d somehow suckered Chase into some sort of game of pissing her off, because she was unnecessarily snippy to me the whole time we were working today (and I wasn’t even antagonizing her or anything!).

She wouldn’t tone down the attitude, so I threatened her with changing her collar settings again; instead of adjusting the range or setting it off at random, I threatened her with making it go off at _any_ word she said. Knowing she likes to talk about as much as I do ( _more_ if that’s even possible), I knew that’d get her to at least act civil, which it did.

We ended up getting onto what we thought was something but before we could totally finish and see the end result of it with my ‘what if?’ machine, I noticed the clock.

We’d worked until 2:00 AM.

Naturally, I shooed her out immediately and told her we could just keep going tomorrow when she got all pissy about how ‘we were _so_ close.’

After all, I hadn’t made dinner much _less_ spoken to Chase in literally eighteen hours and I’d figured he might be upset at me for brushing him off like that.

Imagine my surprise to go looking around and find him not in his bedroom sleeping, but in his study and wide awake!

He didn’t really acknowledge me until I asked him why he wasn’t sleeping to which he told me, in essence, that it was none of my goddamn business and then he snapped at me when I asked him if he wanted me to make him something to eat or if I could just get him anything in general.

I guess I inadvertently slapped on the puppy eyes at that (it tends to be instinctual at this point when I feel I’m in danger and don’t have a way to fight back) ‘cause he sighed and apologized for yelling at me when I was only trying to do my job as his minion and make sure my obligations to him were met.

He said he was just frustrated (didn’t elaborate on what about and I figured he would’ve told me if he wanted me to know, so I didn’t ask) and had taken it out on me unfairly.

I thought that was amazingly awesome of Chase to apologize to me for that, so I let him get back to his…well, researching, I guess, while I went off to the kitchen. I ended up baking him a special batch of cinnamon and coffee cupcakes along with a pot of tea which I then brought to him and placed on his desk before going behind him to give him a back rub.

If the very pleased, very audible moan was any indication, I’m thinking he appreciated it.

I kept working the tension knots out of his neck and shoulders, even as he pored over ancient texts in languages I’ve no hope of even _beginning_ to understand until at least 5:00 AM when Bella came in at Chase’s request to notify him should he ever be late for his morning exercise.

It seemed like he was about to get up and actually go do it, but I used my evil consort-powers of seduction to charm him out of it.

“Forgive me, my Lord of Chaos and Sexy Evil, but may I point out that you haven’t slept in approximately twenty-four hours and are looking particularly tired. May I suggest fucking over your morning exercises and getting some sleep instead?”

He considered as much, muttered something about a wicked everlord having to look his best and ‘blasted eye circles,’ before heading off to bed.

I’m about to join him, actually, ‘cause its 6:00 now ( _technically_ on the twenty-fourth) and that makes it a full twenty-four hours since _I’ve_ last slept.

Here’s hoping Chase isn’t opposed to a snuggle-partner at the moment or, if he is, that he’s too tired to bother with throwing me out!


	114. 4/24/09

**4/24/09-**

Sleeping since last entry. Chase’s practically in hibernation, too; so far, either of us have only gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom.

Katnappé called, probably wondering why she couldn’t get in again, but I was in no mood to answer and neither was Chase: in fact, he called the phone to his hand with his magic and crushed it into a bajillion tiny pieces before rolling over and cuddling me tighter.

Not that I much care. It’s a cell phone: I can build another in ten minutes when it’s actually important to have one again.

Now, the only thing that’s even _remotely_ important is burying myself in an avalanche of warm blankets and clinging to Chase like he’s my own personal plushie so I can go back to sleep.


	115. 4/25/09

**4/25/09-**

Can barely write; laughing too hard from the hilarity of Katnappé’s stupidity and the good fortunes it’s brought me!

Okay, okay, okay, I can breathe now, okay…

So! Anyways. Ashley decided to pull a Raimundo this morning and outstepped the bounds of her and Chase’s relationship.

She broke into the palace while Chase was still sleeping, snuck into his room, and essentially tried to _rape_ him.

Naturally, he was _pissed_.

I _had_ been asleep in my own bedroom (for once) but woke up when the screaming and the roaring started just across the hall. Katnappé was totally naked and Chase looked to be as if he was in the process of being forcefully stripped and I gotta say, I’d never seen him madder _in my life_ , and I used to be (and am probably still) the _expert_ at making him mad.

Of course, these days, I know what the limits are that’ll get my ass whooped by exceeding them, while Katnappé, apparently, does not.

1) Very rarely interrupt his sleep,

2) _Always_ ascertain that _he’s_ in the mood, too, and,

3) No means no _goddammit_.

She broke all three by waking him up at 4:00 AM, ripping off his clothes, and trying to do him without so much as a, “You wanna fuck?” first.

Anyways, though, he literally _threw_ her out of his room (she smacked into the door of my room in doing so; one of the major factors in waking me up) and when I peeked out to see what was going on, he was in full-force rage, not to mention he’d gone dragon out of sheer anger.

Fuck, he’s hot like that…

GRAH, STOP THINKING LIKE THAT, CHASE SAID NO.

So, there was an argument, and by ‘argument,’ I mean Chase was roaring at Ashley for doing what she did and I, knowing better than to assume I was safe just because I wasn’t the one who pissed him off, shut the door and went back to bed to at least pretend I was sleeping.

Eventually, I guess Katnappé got intimidated and ran off screaming, at which point Chase turned his attention to me.

My door _slammed_ open and, still in dragon-form, he joined me on the bed and growled at me about how he knew I’d been watching and did I want to try raping him like the horny adolescent I was, too?

I know better than to fuck with Chase _at all_ when he’s that mad, so instead of making a sly crack about that as I normally would’ve, I just closed my eyes and bared my neck for him; y’know, appeal to his animal instincts in that form and submit to him.

It worked.

Chase calmed down a little and started licking my neck, nipping occasionally, but never hard enough to break the skin…

I was on Cloud 9. After all, that’s a huge part of my ultimate sexual fantasy, so I just let him keep going with the dragon-snuzzles and licks.

Eventually, he came to his senses, I guess, because he pulled back and gave me the most… _insecure_ look I’ve ever seen on him.

I think he actually _does_ think his dragon-form is ugly.

I did my best to prove him wrong: I kissed his snout, nuzzled him back, pet his scales, and touched his fringe until he just lay back down on me and started purring.

Apparently, we both fell asleep like that and woke up two or three hours later. Chase immediately shifted back to human form and thanked me for not getting stupid and keeping myself from being torn to shreds by him when he was that angry.

He said he would hate to lose his current favorite whore because the one who was really pushing it with the title of ‘whore’ had pissed him off to such an extent.

Of course, I told him it was no problem and that if he actually _was_ in the mood for any sex today after Katnappé’s dumb stunt, he knew where my ass was located.

Chase chose to make use of this knowledge and had me about seven different ways before breakfast.

Good things come to evil geniuses who wait for their rivals to fuck up spectacularly on their own! …Or at least I _think_ that’s how the saying goes…

Anywho, after breakfast and all that, I decided to head down to the lab and see what I could do for the project on my own (Katnappé’s not actually allowed in the palace for awhile; Chase didn’t say how long he’s keeping her out, but _any_ amount of time is a _good_ amount of time).

Since the last time Ashley and I had worked on it got kinda cut off, I’d had a formula ready to run through the simulator to see if it worked but had not actually done so yet.

When I did, it didn’t end up being the super-boost we’d been working for, but it did do something I think will market _a lot_ better, particularly in the States.

Extreme weight-loss; no diet, no exercise, just drink it and within ten to twenty minutes, you’ll have dropped a hundred pounds!

Of course, I’ll have to market it as only for the overweight people who weigh three-hundred pounds or over; otherwise, it’d be ridiculously unsafe what with the skeletal women walking around who think they _need_ to lose weight when they’re already ninety-six pounds.

It’ll definitely be something you have to get prescribed by your doctor and not something you can just walk into a Walgreens and take off the shelf, but I think something can definitely be done with this that will increase my already filthy amount of wealth.

I told Chase about it at dinner and he said that was a good idea but what about when ‘that horrid wench, Katnappé’ returns and demands to see how her formula worked?

I came up with a solution for the bitch-cat: I’ll have my machine rigged to show a set ‘what-if?’ for that formula that’s not the real one; something bad like causing instant cancer so she’ll agree to reject it. Then, once we eventually come up with the formula we’re _really_ looking for, I’ll market both and only give her 40% of the take from the second formula and tell her I’d been fiddling around with the chemicals and trying them out at random myself and had ‘stumbled across’ the weight-loss one.

If she tries to steal any of my profits or call me out on the lie, that’s pretty much what the shock-collar is _for_!

Chase thought it was a good idea, good enough to clear the table and fuck me on it for my willingness to use my evil genius to achieve my own ends.

Anyways, though…I’ve got a business thing to go to tonight. I was invited back when Chase and I were out celebrating my birthday belatedly at “Sounds of Brazil” and some woman (alongside many other men and women trying to give me business cards) handed me an envelope with an official invite inside.

The lady’s pretty influential in business and while I’m already more influential indefinitely, it just wouldn’t look good not to go, so…I’m going.

Chase has flat-out denied going with me (introvert), so I’ve already called Frankie and asked if he would escort me to the gala. Once he ascertained that he didn’t have to talk to anybody he didn’t like (which I assured him would be everybody) and only needed to stick by me so I wouldn’t be going in alone (another thing that generally just looks bad), he agreed to take me.

Now I’ve gotta get dressed and ready to go; I’ll talk about how hellish and boring the party was when I get back!


	116. The Gap

**4/26/09-**

 **4/27/09-**

 **4/28/09-**

 **4/29/09-**

 **4/30/09-**

 **5/1/09-**

 **5/2/09-**

 **5/3/09-**

 **5/4/09-**

 **5/5/09-**

 **5/6/09-**

 **5/7/09-**

 **5/8/09-**

 **5/9/09-**

 **5/10/09-**

 **5/11/09-**

 **5/12/09-**


	117. 5/13/09

**5/13/09-**

I think I’m in the middle of a freak-out here.

I…woke up today…in a hospital…

I panicked ‘cause I had no idea where the fuck I was or what was going on, so I booked it out of there right quick. There were no nurses or doctors in the room and I was doing my best to keep my heart-rate steady to make sure it stayed that way, but I dismantled some of the medical equipment, used what I remembered of the GTC gloves to make a rudimentary but functional pair with what I had and got the _hell out of there_.

I went to the palace, obviously. Probably out of instinct: weird shit is happening, run to Chase.

My head hurts…well, everything hurts, but mostly my head. I think I might have a concussion or something, which is weird ‘cause the last thing I remember is walking with Frankie to that gala thing…apparently, like, two weeks ago which is _another_ thing that freaks me right the fuck out: I lost _two-and-a-half weeks_ to whatever the fuck happened to me.

I’m scared…I am scared _shitless_ and confused and I’m very close to having a nervous breakdown and crying like a two-year-old right here on my bed because _nothing is making any fucking sense_ and--

GAH.

Chase is in the room across from mine. It’s really late at night and he’s probably sleeping and doesn’t know I’m here yet, but…I think I really _am_ in the middle of a freak-out and I’m exhausted and scared and confused and there’s only one man in the whole fucking world who can both calm me down _and_ still be asleep at the same time (considering I’m not about to wake him up ‘cause I’m being a baby about probably-nothing).

God, I’m whimpering and shaking as I’m writing this; not that the scribbly handwriting wouldn’t give that away.

I think I just need to…to sneak into Chase’s bed and cling to him for a little while…just until I stop freaking out…


	118. 5/14/09

**5/14/09-**

Today’s been weird.

Last night, Chase was sound asleep so he didn’t mind when I slipped under the covers and snuggled up to him, but God, he’s good at calming me down unconsciously.

I mean, I could _feel_ my heart beat slowing down to a normal rate when I pressed myself against his warm back and all my muscles just relaxed and stopped shaking when I took a deep breath of his scent, and then…

When he rolled over, muttered my name, and held me (all while still sleeping), I was mush…not to mention asleep within two minutes. <3

Chase is good for preventing panic attacks, but with him being good at everything else, I’m not really surprised.

This morning and everything after was where it got a little weird.

Chase woke me up by shaking my shoulder and then he started asking me all sorts of questions like when did I get here, and how was I feeling, and did I need anything?

I’ve tried to ask him what’s going on, like, eighteen times already, but he always interrupts me with more weird questions despite my protests in his doing of such.

He’s also been insisting I go back to sleep all day which I normally would disagree with because I got plenty of sleep last night and with all the naps I’ve been taking today, one would think I’d be awake and in no need of sleep. This is apparently not so, because whenever he says it, I inevitably think, “Great idea; I’ll do that!”

I’m still confused and weirded out, but I hurt a lot less than I did last night, and besides that, Chase is taking care of me, so I feel…a lot better.

He’ll tell me what’s going on eventually. For now, I’m thinking another nap is in order.


	119. 5/15/09

**5/15/09-**

Okay…things are starting to make more sense thanks to Chase.

Like all other misfortunes in my life, my loss of two weeks and current odd condition of being consistently tired and having a slight ache throughout my body (which _is_ receding, but nonetheless) was all caused by the Xiaolin monks.

I was so unsurprised when I was told this that the first words out of my mouth (without having to think on them, mind you) were, “What’d they do to me this time?”

As it turns out, they did quite a bit.

So, two-and-a-half weeks ago, apparently, when I’d been walking with Frankie to the gala, the monks abducted me right out from under his nose and then brutally whooped my ass in an alley.

Some monks they are.

I didn’t remember it until Chase actually _showed_ me part of the beating, after two minutes of which I quivered a weak, “Oh… _now_ I remember,” before leaning off of the bed and vomiting when I saw Omi kick me in the head and heard a very sickening, very _audible_ crack…or maybe it was a crunch…either way, I don’t much like thinking about it.

But so they’d done that and a friend of Frankie’s boyfriend took me to the hospital I’d been at a couple days previous.

My condition, it seems, was pretty bad and since the end of April, I was declared entirely brain-dead.

That was a bit of a shock to hear, so I naturally inquired how it is that I’m up and functioning at all, much less at the same intelligence level.

I know I’m working about the same, too, because I did a quick diagnostic scan on myself when I first got back to the palace to discover my head rather recently shaved along with some new stitches there that _definitely_ hadn’t been there before. I’d suspected some weird Frankenstein shit and maybe a brain transplant or something else just as weird because it’s not often one wakes up two weeks or so after their last memory only to discover brain surgery’s been done on them.

But I was fine; at least fine _enough_ according to the scan. My IQ was still 312 and nothing was seriously bodily wrong with me despite the aches and pains I was having all over.

As it turns out, around the time I was declared brain-dead, Chase decided he wasn’t at all ready to give me up as his favorite consort yet and called in Katnappé to see what she could do about my rather hopeless condition.

Chase told her that she was to figure out one of the versions of the Mantis Flip Coin juice we’d been debating on: ironically enough, one plan aside from just increasing agility and strength and such was to be able to heal people that were supposedly damaged beyond hope.

It’d have been lucky if we’d finished _before_ I’d been put in the position of ‘damaged beyond hope’, but what can I do about it now?

Anyways, though, he told the cat-bitch that she _would_ be finding a way to fix his favorite consort and that if anything she did to me under the guise of ‘helping me’ that actually ended up hurting me out of her spite for me (being the whore Chase likes better), he would hunt her down and kill her so hard she died to death. He then proceeded to threaten her similarly with various gruesome things until she agreed to finish up the project on her own.

It took her a little while without my help, but she did it.

Some eight days ago, she finally perfected the formula we’d been working for all along and, once she’d run it through my ‘what-if?’ machine under Chase’s supervision with successful results, injected it into me.

I’d been showing signs of improving physically and mentally since then, but nothing enough to show that I was anywhere near waking up and even if I fully healed in the hospital, there was no 100% guarantee that I _would_ wake up.

Actually doing so three days ago was sheer chance (and a bit of supernatural luck if the Golden Horseshoe I found in my room turned in the correct direction for Good Luck was any indication).

Anyway, Chase passed along that Ashley had told him I would still have a lot of healing to do even _if_ I woke up and that because of that, I would naturally be more inclined to sleep often because the chemical that’s fixing me right now works quicker at times when I’m burning the least amount of energy, hence sleep.

I don’t doubt that at all: I’m tired as hell lately. I mean, I’m glad I’m not retarded or a vegetable anymore, but I’m practically narcoleptic at the mo--------------


	120. 5/16/09

**5/16/09-**

I really _am_ feeling better as the days progress. Katnappé’s a total freak-bitch, but the Magical Heal-Me juice she came up with is working.

Note to self: when I feel okay enough to actually market/sell it, give Ashley the 60%; she’s earned it.

…still lie to her about the weight-loss thing, though.

Anyways! Chase has been awesome to me today; just overall.

This morning, I went to take a shower (‘cause I haven’t fucking _had_ one in two-and-a-half weeks) and I made the mistake of catching sight of myself in the bathroom mirror.

Jesus _Christ_ , I can’t even really describe how fucked up I look.

I was not made for the buzz-cut look, first of all; what with the ghostly complexion and the fire-red hair, it really just plain doesn’t work on me.

Secondly, I am still _covered_ in bruises, scars, and stitches and shit which make me look like a goddamn Battered Husband edition Raggedy Andy doll. Do not like.

Thirdly, I don’t even know how the fuck it was possible, but Nature found a way: I am _paler_ than I was before all this shit happened and before all this shit happened, I was the color of _paper_.

I made an audible ‘ick’ at myself in the mirror and went to go shower.

When I came out, I found Chase ready to snuggle with me in bed asking if my current appearance bothered me and why.

I told him and he started kissing me and cuddling me and telling me that once I was fully-healed, I would get back what little color I had and that he knew of a spell that could get rid of the scars. Apparently, he even knew another one that could grow my hair to a length I found more suitable than where it was at.

That was the only one that could be attended to today (as the wounds that aren’t totally healed yet have to heal and become scars before they can be removed), but I appreciated even that much. In a brief thinking session on how to express that gratitude to Chase with myself and my ability to do things limited as it is, I realized something extremely shocking and horrifying.

 _I have not had sex with Chase since April fucking twenty-fifth_

Holy _shit_!

Naturally, I felt like a complete and utter failure. My _one_ obligation to him as his consort was left unattended for over two weeks just ‘cause I was in a tiny, little coma!

I realized as much and hurriedly offered to fuck him, but he declined; he said he didn’t feel totally comfortable having sex with me when I was still injured in case he ended up hurting me further.

At the very least, though, I begged him to let me touch him a little to get him off because _I’d_ feel better that way doing _something_ for him and even if he hadn’t wanted to, the blue-balls made him agree to it.

I sucked him off with no trouble (deep-throat and everything) but then in the middle of a handjob, the MFC juice chose to kick in and I conked out.

Chase shook me awake, like, two seconds later and I apologized and told him if it happened again before he came to just masturbate using my hand: I wouldn’t feel violated or anything if he did.

Luckily, though, I managed to make him come a second time without passing out again and then I just dragged myself further up the bed to snuggle with him.

God, I love that man…

I woke up who the hell knows how much later still nestled comfortably against Chase in my bed but the TV was on and he was flicking back and forth from news channel to news channel and all of them had the same story:

Me.

Apparently, every nation in the world has launched a full-fledged manhunt in search of me since I’d disappeared from the hospital a couple of days ago despite the fact that I was supposed to be brain-dead and wouldn’t have been any use to anybody anymore anyways.

Guess people’re still hoping for a miracle and that I’d come back to them as the genius I was like the greedy assholes they are so I can build them shit. I mean, I _am_ still a genius and I _do_ intend to build them shit for _my_ benefit, but to the public, that should’ve seemed like a hopeless cause.

As I was watching, Chase turned to me and said I couldn’t let them keep losing their shit over me when I was fine and fully intended to return to the public eventually, and I agreed.

I’ll make a public appearance or something tomorrow and tell them to sod off for awhile.

As it is, I’m feeling the MFC juice-induced narcolepsy setting in again, so g’night.


	121. 5/17/09

**5/17/09-**

Today was a day of dealing with people I don’t like and finding out just how evil Chase can be.

So! When I woke up this morning and checked the news real quick to determine that no, people had not calmed down in the least about my disappearance and yes, they were still losing their shit in mass quantities relentlessly, I decided something had to be done about it.

I went straight to the mansion (with Chase; he’d rather I not go places alone for awhile in case I end up getting a narcoleptic bout and faint somewhere, thereby causing _more_ mass panic) because I wanted to see my brother and tell him personally that I was okay before he found out impersonally from a press conference on TV.

I’d never seen him so emotional or happy to see me before. There was no one in the living room when I walked in, but when I did a ‘anybody home?’ call, I abruptly found myself in a bear-hug of surprising force and Frankie was babbling all kinds of mushy shit I never thought I’d hear him say about how much he’d missed me and how he’d fucked up as my body-guard and that I had no idea how glad he was to see me walking around.

It was around then that Chase informed Frankie that he’d better stop trying to break me in half or he would find himself likewise and he backed off a bit so we could actually talk and fill him in on what had happened.

When I got to the part about where I woke up, freaked out, and ran like hell out of the hospital, he mentioned he could totally relate. Apparently, in addition to his mild fear of snakes, my big brother’s got some pretty severe hospital phobia from a flu incident that had him in a hospital for two years when he was a kid.

Anyways, I explained to him the whole situation about how I was gonna be okay and that I’d wanted him to hear it from me directly before I went about informing the shit-for-brains masses who were freaking out about my disappearance.

He hugged me again, told me he was glad he had his geeky little bro back and then insisted on shaking Chase’s hand in gratitude for making my restoration to health possible.

Chase told him he didn’t do it for Frankie; he was only looking out for his own personal interests in making his favorite consort well again.

Frankie surprised the both of us by saying he knew that extremely well and that, even though Chase had done it for his own selfish reasons, he was still grateful he’d done it and wanted to shake his hand for it anyways.

I think that’s what made Chase agree to do it; that Frankie held no delusions of my life being saved for his or anyone else’s sake but still wanted to offer a small token of his gratitude.

I dunno why, but watching them be civil to each other was incredibly cute. I may have to work it into a private fantasy or something, maybe where Chase is in love with me and we’re married or some romantic bullcrap like that and Chase puts aside his overwhelming hate of people to play nice with the in-laws… <3

ANYWHO.

Almost immediately after that, I personally scheduled a press conference during which I essentially said, “*ahem* I am fine now. I will be away from the public for a few days recuperating, but you can call off the fucking manhunt. That is all.”

There was more to it than that in actuality, obviously; people wanted to know how I’d healed so goddamn fast in addition to _at all_.

I told them a half-truth; that I’d been working on a serum to fix the unfixable kind of shit that’d happened to me _before_ it had, indeed, happened to me. Made a note of how ironic it was that I ended up having to be its first test-subject, but nonetheless, it’d worked well enough and I should be completely up to snuff again within a couple of days; days, I added, that I’d like to be able to relax and watch TV without seeing people freaking the fuck out about me on every channel.

That led to questions about how the serum I’d been working on had gotten to me, but I assured them it was classified information and that no, they did not get to know nor would I say anything more about the serum until it was fully ready for a release to the public.

 _That_ led to people getting bitchy about why couldn’t they have it _now_?

Me: You can be patient. _Think_ about the benefits it’ll have. All those disgusting little special needs cripples that drool and blink and go GUHHHHH all the time and are kept alive because _somehow_ people believe they _have_ a quality of life? Well, they can _have_ that quality, now. This will _fix_ their crippleness. REDUCED EXPENDITURES, people. And all you’ve gotta do is _wait_ a couple of goddamn days until I’m recovered from my _brush with death and mental retardation_ and ready to prepare it for marketing.

Reporters: *whine, whine, bitch, bitch*

Me: Do you want the damn thing at all? ‘Cause I’m not above keeping it for my own private use and never releasing it.

Reporters: *STFU*

Me: Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Anyways…with that shit out of the way, Chase brought me back to the palace and indulged my ‘still a bit unwell’ mood by watching some movies with me while I indulged _myself_ in such a mood by eating a whole tub of ice cream.

I won’t even regret it later: I’m one of those people that can eat pretty much whatever they want and not gain a pound. ;D

Of course, when I _do_ get totally healthy again, I’ll have to start back up with _some_ bodily maintenance other than showering and teeth-brushing. I don’t get fat, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get soft and squishy if I don’t exercise at all as Chase reminded me sometime before the coma.

Cheeky bastard…

Right, anyways! So we were watching movies and (because he didn’t really care and wasn’t watching them) Chase had his fingers in my newly-grown out hair and started tracing the brain surgery scar that was still there.

That prompted me to mutter something about how I hoped those rotten monk-bastards had had the piss ripped out of them by Fung for the very un-monk-like shit they’d done to me and was given pause by the fact that Chase assured me he’d dealt with them personally.

Apparently, shortly after I’d been put in a coma, a veritable war was waged on the temple in vengeance of me; a simultaneous attack by both Chase and Frankie though they weren’t working together and hadn’t planned it.

The whole thing was on fire by the time Chase’d shown up and when he had, Frankie fled the scene with Richie so his boyfriend didn’t see the horrors Chase was about to do to the monks.

Horrors they were indeed! Kim’s pretty much paralyzed from a spinal break, Rai’s missing an eye (ha ha, dickwad! >=D), Clay’s leg was broken in a compound fracture, the kind that’ll ache whenever the weather gets damp, and as the cherry on top, Omi is scarred all over his body _and_ a new addition to Chase’s warrior platoon.

Now, I knew Chase Young was the evilest motherfucker to ever evil up the world of evil, but DAMN.

I turned to him after he told me all this and replied as such:

Me: O Lord of Chaos and Sexy Evil, I believe you have outdone yourself. I must really be a spectacular fuck to warrant such a sound thrashing.

Chase: Yes, you are.

…Was I not supposed to fuck him? _Really_?

He protested a little bit; emphasis on the ‘little.’ He tried to argue that I wasn’t totally healed yet again and that I might hurt myself, but I managed to convince him pretty quick that I was fine enough for at least a gentle fuck.

After all, he hadn’t had sex with his favorite whore in two-and-a-half weeks, which I pointed out after I’d lubed and stretched myself before I started riding him.

He then shocked the hell out of me by saying he hadn’t had sex _period_ in two-and-a-half weeks.

I, of course, asked him about Katnappé, but he said he hadn’t wanted her; that the only one he’d felt like having sex with while I was comatose was me.

I was honored, really. Maybe that’s why I insisted on another round or two of sex despite the fact that my muscles were getting a little sore and _I_ was a little sore already for not having him inside me for over two weeks.

He’d _waited_ for _me_. He hadn’t even made use of Ashley in a perfunctory manner: he wanted _me_ and he _waited_ until I was available again.

Surely that deserved some reward.

It would’ve been a lot nicer if I hadn’t conked out mid-fuck about the third or fourth time. Chase woke me up only long enough so that he could finish (he still feels weird about the ‘having sex with me while I’m unconscious’ thing) before letting me go back to sleep.

Hm…I’m thinking he definitely has a crapload of cupcakes in his immediate future for being as accepting of my condition as he’s been. <3


	122. 5/18/09

**5/18/09-**

I’m feeling, like, 97% better as of today!

I woke up bright and early this morning to make Chase a cupcake-heavy breakfast, which he appreciated if the round of 69 or two was anything to go by.

Aside from that, my yet-unhealed stitches and such were healed enough today that they could be gotten rid of (thank you, Chase!) for which I’m glad as I no longer look like pieced together corpse.

I spent most of today watching TV and resting off some of the slight bruises I still have and when I wasn’t doing that, I was catching up on missed work. Considering my job is being Chase’s consort, it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out what ‘missed work’ is.

Oh, something _was_ brought to my attention today; another big thing I’d missed while comatose.

I was right in the middle of sucking Chase off (he realized from yesterday when I passed out in the middle of fucking that _sex_ -sex isn’t my forte at the moment) when something playing on the news channel I’d been watching before he came in horny and needing me caught my attention.

Right when I had a whole mouthful of Chase-cock, I hear, “It is still unknown as to whether Mr. Spicer intends on rescinding his views on artificial insemination in order to produce future children of his intellect.”

I sat up immediately, blinked at the TV, and inquired of Chase, “What’s all this shit about kids, now?”

He gave me a quick explanation: my parents had tried to use my sperm to knock up some bitch while I was brain-dead on the grounds that while _I_ was useless to the world, my descendants with my genius DNA wouldn’t be.

Chase had flipped through my journal and found an entry from back in March where I explicitly stated my feelings on children and the having of them and handed it off to Frankie to get the world embroiled in a whole huge debate on my civil liberties and such in order to stall for more time while he went off to get Katnappé to fix me.

Apparently, the people of the world are still hoping I’ll change my mind and breed with their women to produce millions of offspring, a handful of which will hopefully inherit my brain.

After Chase told me all this, I muttered a quick, “That fucking sucks,” before realizing my overlord was still hard and I _wasn’t_ blowing him and remedied that situation immediately.

I gotta say, when we first started having carnal relations, I wasn’t very fond of sucking his dick, but it’s grown on me in a weird way. I _like_ being in between his legs or on my knees, making him hiss or moan with a curl of my tongue, even teasing him to the point he gets fed up with my games, grabs my skull, and fucks my mouth at his own pace.

It might be the dominance it gives him that I like. I _love_ it when he goes Evil Everlord on me and gets dominating, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I grew to like blowing him because of the submissive position it puts _me_ in.

Hm. It’s weird…I think I may have developed a ‘consort sense,’ similar to a ‘spidey sense,’ ‘cause I somehow feel like Chase is horny again in the next room over.

Must investigate...

  
 **5/18/09 (UPDATED)** -

He was! I am getting _good_ in my line of work!


	123. 5/19/09

**5/19/09-**

Today was the first time I saw Omi around the palace.

I mean, Chase _told_ me what he’d done to the monks as payback for what they’d done to me, but I hadn’t _seen_ any of it, yet.

Omi, like Chase had said, was scarred all over, bad enough that you could see the marks even through the fur.

If I ever needed proof that I’m not full-fledged evil just yet, it was when I saw him and actually felt _bad_ for a split-second, even though he in particular was the main reason I had a near-permanent brush with mental retardation.

The second the little fuzzball saw me, he ran up to me faster than a cheetah on speed and clung to my pant leg, sobbing all kinds of stuff about how sorry he was for what he’d done and how he wouldn’t blame me if I never forgave him for killing my genius and yadda yadda yadda.

I stopped him, filled him on the fact that I was still a genius thanks to Katnappé’s fixing of me and surprisingly enough, he didn’t take back the apologies like I thought he would.

Omi said that what he’d done was still a terrible, evil thing and that even though I’d survived, it was only barely and by way of a long-shot miracle: had Katnappé not been coaxed into intervening, I’d have been as good as dead.

I think maybe _that’s_ why I felt marginally bad. Omi had seriously fucked me up, the same as his buddies had helped to do, but he knew it was wrong and gave me the apology I deserved.

I forgave him. I told him it _was_ a really fucked up thing to do but that I could tell he was really _sorry_ for it and, since everything was hunky-dory again and there _wasn’t_ any permanent damage, I could find it in my shallow heart to forgive his little furball butt.

He started crying, the little sap; got cat-snot all over my pants. _Ick_.

Anyways…I’m not totally sure why I did it. Maybe I wanted to see if I’d get my boots licked by the other Xiaolin losers.

In any case, I went to the temple to see ‘em. I had to reroute to Guan’s temple because the Xiaolin temple was a mess of charred ashes on the ground.

I felt loved, there, I really did: Frankie had set a whole goddamn temple full of monks on fire for _me_.

But! So! I found them on the second try and got very unsurprising reactions.

Clay was sorry, like Omi’d been: he _knew_ I hadn’t deserved to be beaten that severely and that even though I was okay now, it wasn’t right what he’d helped do to me. Probably ‘cause he’s a Texas good-boy and can actually admit when he’s done something wrong.

I gotta say, he gives even stronger bear-hugs than Frankie _and_ Granny, which really says something. Even so, _awkward…_

I wasn’t at all surprised by Kim and Rai’s reaction to me, though. They’d _been_ remorseful, but the second they saw me up and about, they gave me the equivalent of, “Oh, see? He’s fine now. Pfft…and we were all worked up over nothing!”

Dickweeds. They’re perfect for each other, they really are. Of course, I doubt sex’ll be very satisfying for the twat of the two what with the paralysis and all. Then again, I can’t see the man-slut having any problem with fucking her to get off despite the fact that she wouldn’t be getting anything out of it.

Anyways, though…I gave Clay the same ‘I forgive you’ BS as I gave Omi, told Rai and Kim to go fuck themselves with a sandpaper dildo but oh, on second thought don’t, ‘cause they’d probably like it, the sluts, before I went back to the palace for some Chase-sexings.

I’ve stopped getting sore so quick doing regular activities, and knowing this would likely transfer over to fucking, I assured him I was totally fine with _sex_ -sex now.

If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought he was on the Viagra-drug again, but in retrospect, he was pretty much abstinent for _seventeen days_. Of _course_ he’ll be up for plenty of sexing after that.

Oh…consort sense is going off again. BRB.

  
 **5/19/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****I’m tired and sore again, but _yay_ ; my Lord of Chaos and Sexy Evil knows how to _fuck_!  <3


	124. 5/20/09

**5/20/09**

Chase is a brilliant, beautiful bastard.

Of course, I’m thinking that’s why I love him, but…nonetheless.

So, some sex was had this morning and in the middle of it, he starts describing the idea he had last night to me that is _evil incarnate_.

Basically, the idea was that since Rai and Kim had been such total assholes to me yesterday, I should be a total asshole to them.

He wanted me to take the Heal-Me juice to the temple and offer an ultimatum: you can have this stuff for free and you’ll need a bit of the DNA of the person who’ll be using it to make it work. Good luck with healing up! And oh, did I forget to mention that this is only enough for one person and by the time I have it hit the markets I’ll make it impossible for you guys or anyone you send _for_ you to buy it?

Chase was describing this to me when we’d _just_ started another round of sexing and by the time he finished with how he’d love to see that positively _wicked_ grin I get on my face when I’m about to fuck someone or a group of someones over…

God, barely half a sentence about how _fuckable_ I looked when I was showing off my potential for evil, and I came _embarrassingly_ soon.

I bet Chase could talk me into an orgasm. He could be sitting on the opposite end of a room, both of us fully clothed, and I’m thinking maybe ten minutes into a saucy conversation (less if he was _really_ trying and not just half-heartedly going for it), I’d come in my pants and have to excuse myself before I start feeling too gross and uncomfortable.

I mean, he’s just that good anyways, but he…dear God, he _does_ things to me. There’s a reason he’s my perfect Sex God, and it’s not just because I already think he’s so amazingly fucking awesome (which he is).

Mmm, anyways, though…I decided Chase’s idea to piss of the monks (the two who are assholes, at least) was great and after I refined the Heal-Me juice a little bit, I set off on my merry fucking way to Guan’s temple.

It went off without a hitch! In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d have thought Kim and Rai were _trying_ to make themselves out to be selfish little two-year-olds instead of monks.

Get this: I gave the spiel about how it’d only work for one of them and either Kim gets _full_ movement of her body back (the most she can manage at the moment is limited hand and arm motion) or Rai grows a new eye and then proceeded to toss it on the ground in front of them.

Rai jumped on the fucking thing around the same time that Kim miraculously found enough momentum to flop out of her wheelchair on top of him where they proceeded to fight over it, Rai taking full advantage of the fact that his little girlfriend could hardly move at all to kick her off and smack her around a little bit when she mouthed off at him about his selfishness and had some upper-body twitches that might’ve indicated her trying to fight back.

I doubt I’ve ever seen Master Monk Guan more pissed in my life.

He saw the whole thing and just _freaked_ on them to the point that I couldn’t help laughing like hell at how far the ‘mighty’ have fallen.

By the time I came back to myself, Chase was standing next to me with that sexy smirk he has, looking at me as if he’d never been prouder of me for being evil and I couldn’t help it.

I practically jumped him where he stood and suddenly, we were in the bedroom and almost immediately after we were there, more fucking commenced.

Ahhh…it really _is_ good to be getting back into the swing of things!


	125. 5/21/09

**5/21/09-**

I’m prone to bad luck and in general bad things happening to me. I haven’t really had a great life until Chase started interfering and making it a little better, so then you can imagine I’ve learned not to go into situations expecting the best case scenario.

Still, what happened today _really_ took the cake and I can officially say I’m seriously hating being a genius right now.

I…was working in my lab sometime around noon on getting some basic data from the Star Hanabi ‘cause this morning, I released both versions of the Mantis Flip Coin juice and have already raked in several trillion dollars from family members desperate to revitalize loved ones and overweight people desperate to be thin that have tried everything to lose weight (except diet, exercise, and generally just actually _trying_ to lose the weight).

Anyways, though…I was…doing that and since it was taking awhile, I thought I could get a little work done on the side. I _had_ been in a coma for some two-and-a-half weeks and three or four of my bots needed some simple repairs that I hadn’t been around to give ‘em.

So…I started with JB-31376 because his neural circuitry (the stuff that allows him to control his limbs) was on the fritz and that was the repair in most dire need of being made. The system works with a main circuit board where their…agh, _brain_ would be were they human and…

Holy crap, this is hard to write about… I’m fucking shaking and seriously considering vomiting already, and I haven’t even gotten anywhere!

Ugh…okay, I can do this…

I was unscrewing JB-31376’s head-cap so I could get to the neural circuitry and fix the bug when all of a sudden, I…I…

A very blatant memory of floating above my own body and watching surgeons _cut open my head_ surfaced.

I might’ve just been freaked out but relatively okay if it’d stopped there, but it didn’t. I remembered _everything_ that happened to me while I was in that coma.

It was Hell.

I remember being forced out of my body because my brain had died, but not being able to move on to anywhere else or even stray too far from the corpse of myself because my body was _technically_ still alive; I remember surgeries being done on me and _having_ to watch it all despite the fact that I’m squeamish like nobody’s business about stuff like that; I remember crazy women trying to force themselves into the room to have *GAG* _sex_ with me despite the fact that I was barely alive…

I remember my mom and dad in the hospital room, looking at me like I was nothing but a cash cow and talking excitedly about how they were gonna write a fake will that left all my money to them and that they could use my sperm to make tons of genius grandchildren that they could use to get their fortune back and then how they were gonna make a whole reality show based on which woman was gonna get to be the lucky brood mare to rake in _more_ money …

I used to think my parents loved me. I used to think, even though they were greedy and selfish and a lot of the time looked out for their own interests above mine, that they at least cared a _little_ bit about me and what I wanted; a _fraction_ at least.

Apparently, they don’t. As far as they care, I’m just something that popped out of Mom that just so happened to be occasionally useful.

Fuck…

But I remembered the whole ordeal, _every last thing_ that happened in that two-and-a-half weeks I was dead to the world, within the space of a second and, JB-31376 and his neural circuitry issues forgotten, I dropped the pair of tweezers I’d been planning to make repairs with and literally just collapsed.

I didn’t scream or sob or anything like that: I was too horrified by remembering my brush with Hell all at once for that. I just curled up in a ball and shook. Apparently, I was crying, too, but I didn’t even realize until Chase showed up.

I don’t know how he knew I was in the middle of a freak-out. I could understand if I’d dropped something bigger than tweezers, like wire-cutters or something that would make a substantially louder noise when dropped that might’ve alerted him, or if I _was_ screaming or sobbing, but…

I dunno. He was just there.

He tried to ask me what was wrong, but I couldn’t even talk, I was so freaked out. He looked me in the eyes, though, and I think he just _knew_. I mean, they say that intelligent people are more likely to remember things that happen to them, like ‘in the womb’ stuff and events that happened years ago in precise detail, and I _am_ a genius.

Chase was probably just _waiting_ for it to all come rushing back to me.

He held me for awhile, let me calm down, but I’m still really…I dunno, I guess ‘traumatized’ might be the right word for it.

I saw myself _die_. I saw people slice me open and stick sharp implements in my head. I saw my parents try to take advantage of the fact that I was comatose and try to use me to get rich again quick. I was forced to watch as they brought in a doctor who was gonna help them impregnate some random woman I’d never even met and was able to do nothing more than flail and scream and _beg_ them not to only to see them not even hear me and try to go through with it anyways.

Turns out writing all this down hasn’t really helped me out as far as coming to terms with it goes. I’m still shaking, and I still feel like I need to vomit.

God…I feel bad that I’ve only fucked Chase twice today (and that was this morning, _before_ the horrifying flashback). I hope he’s not mad at me for ignoring my consortial duties.

Nngh…okay, urge to vomit has just increased tenfold at the recollection of a crazy bitch that managed to get past the security and started dry-humping me before she got escorted out, quickly followed by another image of the in-process brain surgery done on me.

I’m gonna go puke my guts out and then see how Chase feels about some non-sexual cuddling to hopefully take my mind off of all this.


	126. 5/22/09

**5/22/09-**

Chase read my entry from yesterday. He knows precisely what I was and am freaking out about by now if he didn’t already.

I don’t much care anymore: he’s my overlord, and I’m his minion/consort, so he pretty much has a right to go rifling through my stuff when he feels like it or thinks he can use it to help me.

He’s doing his best at that.

I can tell he’s horny (consort sense has been going crazy _all_ day), but he’s really holding himself back on account of my traumatized…ness.

Speaking of which, I’ve found out the hard way that I am not to be sleeping for awhile. Every time I tried to lay down and close my eyes, I get a flashback of watching doctors cut into my head and seeing blood spurting from my open skull-cavity (the most prominent of my horrific, forgotten/suppressed memories, it seems), and that pretty much nixes the whole ‘sleep’ thing.

For God’s sake, you’d think I’d offed King Duncan or something…

Anyways, though…Chase is going against his very nature and trying to be helpful; snuggling, patience, the works. Then again, I guess he can’t exactly make use of me if every time we try to fuck, I start screaming and crying like a loon.

Shell shock is a pretty accurate term for what I’m feeling right now, despite the fact that modern medicine refers to it as ‘Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.’ No…that’s too clinical and inhuman for it, I think. Shell shock describes it better.

Mmmm…I just Googled it to brush up on treatment, and drugs and medicines don’t really work. The only effective treatment I can find mention of is therapy. Oh _hell_ no…therapy has never had good results for me (case and point: Ms. Merriweather).

But I can’t just leave it alone and hope it goes away, either.

God dammit…I really just don’t know what to do about all this…


	127. 5/23/09

**5/23/09-**

I gotta say, I’m actually feeling…pretty fucking awesome.

So…Chase read yesterday’s entry, too, because he wanted to make sure (after knowing the kind of horrific flashbacks I’ve been having since he read Thursday’s entry about the original freak-out) that I wasn’t making any plans to kill and/or go emo-cutter on myself.

He actually said that my life was his and I had no right to end it without his express permission. *has a mwee*

Anywho, though! He saw my mention of therapy and, being the smart guy he is, immediately thought back to the last time I’d been in need of therapy and going to a therapist had failed utterly, as well as what had been done about it then.

He explained very clearly to me that he would _not_ be letting me leave the traumatization alone and hope it goes away and that I _was_ going to be handling it with the help of possibly the only woman in the world who understands the inner machinations of my brain.

So off to Granny’s house we went! Dunno why I didn’t think of her _first_ ; must’ve just slipped my mind. How Chase’s IQ is lower than mine and he thinks of this kinda stuff before I do, I’ll _never_ know.

But so he took me to Granny’s penthouse in Bruges for a little therapeutic visit. Unfortunately for me (particularly my shin and my ears), Granny wasn’t as happy to see me as I was to see her at first.

Me: Granny! I missed you-OW, WHY?!

Granny: You snot-nosed little monkey-dick! *whacks my shin with her cane again* You get well all of a sudden and don’t even tell your own Granny?! Fuck you, you inconsiderate bonehead!

Me: FUCK! Stop _hitting_ me, Granny! I’m _sorry_!

Granny: Oh, no, you’re not! Not yet! *whacks me again*

Me: GRANNY!

Granny: *WHACK*

Me: Stop it, Granny, I LOVE YOU! Do you think I’d really not tell you I was okay _on purpose_?

That stopped her. It also made her emotional, and she hugged me and started crying about how she was just glad her favorite grandson wasn’t dead or retarded.

We had a huggy-touchy-feely moment there, which Chase stayed out of up until the point where Granny’d gotten her fill of being outright lovey-dovey for once and I’d gotten my fill of familial hugging (I can count the number of times a family member has hugged me with just my hands, and six of those are from Granny; the other three are from Frankie).

Chase, having a way with phrasing and language, managed to explain the entire situation to Granny in little more than thirty words (would’ve taken me a hundred or so; damn, I’m wordy), and not only did he managed to explain it, he managed to say it in a way that didn’t have Granny back to bitching about how selfish and stupid of a monkey-dick I am for only coming to see her because I needed her help.

Then again, she might’ve been proud for that.

In any case, Chase left me with her for a couple of hours, during which we did some drinking and talking.

Good lord, that woman makes _so much fucking sense_ to me! Why can’t everybody just say what they mean and be blunt about things like she does? Why does everything have to be about not hurting someone’s feelings or dancing around the issue? I really just don’t get it.

But so anyways, we talked for awhile, and the basic gist of what she was saying was that I really had to man up some more; that it was okay that I was freaked out (rightly so) about remembering all the stuff that’d happened to me while in that coma, but that I couldn’t let it get to me so much.

Granny made it perfectly clear: I am one of the richest, most powerful (and certainly not one of the ugliest) men _in the world_ , and I should start acting like it.

She said I should think things through more logically and less emotionally (as even _I_ admit I tend to do) so that little things don’t get to me as much and I can deal with the really _big_ ones easier. She said I need to start standing up for myself more and actually take the opportunity to _fight back_ when someone starts trying to fuck with me (as in the case of the brutal Xiaolin beating that started this whole thing). She said…she said that I wasn’t Jack Spicer, the weak, easily-beaten loser anymore; that I’m Jack Spicer, Lord of Robots and Future Emperor of Earth (she _knows_ how I love that title).

To be honest, I agree wholeheartedly. She is right. She is _so_ fucking right.

I left her penthouse sometime around noon, head held high and feeling better than I have in _awhile_. Of course, that might’ve been the bottle of vodka she’d poured into me while I was there, but…y’know, semantics.

Chase was certainly pleased that I was feeling better if the five or six cigars he’d smoked after the eight hours of sex we had were any indication. *has a smug*

I then proceeded to go all out for dinner, sexed him some more, ended up having a quick work out in the gym Chase’d put in the palace for me, sexed him further, reorganized my room a little, Re: sexage, and finally went back to my room for the night from which I am writing this.

To reiterate, I am feeling pretty fucking awesome.


	128. 5/24/09

**5/24/09-**

Today was…interesting, to say the least.

It really _isn’t_ everyday you get woken up in the middle of the night and have to fight off a guy who wants to slit your throat.

I guess that needs a little explanation, huh?  
  
Alright, well, remember how a couple of days ago I took a trip to Guan’s temple, offered up the Heal-Me juice, and indirectly caused a cripple fight between Rai and Kim? Guan didn’t take that too kindly. He got _pissed_ and went psycho, hard-core training on the two of them (after he forced Rai to give the juice up to the one who deserved it more, of course) to whip them into shape.

Turns out monks aren’t really monks when they nearly kill people, show a distinct lack of remorse for said near-killing, and fight like bratty children over something that could fix them, and Guan decided to remedy their situation post-haste with some grueling, humbling training.

Rai in particular was exceedingly unhappy with this and decided all of it was my fault.

Alright, _maybe_ I could see him blaming me for making him look like a two-year-old in front of the Master Monk, and I’d be totally okay with that: I did it _on purpose._

But somehow, I don’t quite seem to recall the moment I set it all up so that he could bring about my brain-death and two-and-a-half weeks in a coma at the hospital _or_ how I managed to make him not give half a fuck about doing it.

But that’s a moot point, really.

So anyways, being the dipshit he is, he blamed me and concocted some half-baked plan in his head about killing me, and for real this time, because I’d been ruining his life _all year so far_ and he wouldn’t stand for it anymore.

He…oh, God, he’s so stupid…

He managed to sneak into Chase’s palace undetected (God knows how an idiot like him managed _that_ ; then again, Katnappé did it before…) and after a while, stumbled upon my room.

I was sound asleep at the time and didn’t even know he was there; he could’ve killed me _easily_.

But he hesitated.

Rai didn’t so much as touch me with the knife he’d brought along because he made the mistake of staring at me (with hate-filled eyes and a gale of vengeance brewing in his soul or something else as dramatic) for long enough that I unconsciously realized I was being stared at and woke up.

He noticed that I’d woken up and lunged at me, trying to finish me off quick (I assume before I could alert Chase to his presence) but my self-preservation instinct kicked in, along with the spine Granny’d seen fit to reinforce in me yesterday during our chat.

All the stuff she was talking about…standing up for myself more and asserting my authority as one of the most powerful men in the world…well, it sunk in, I guess.

Before he could even blink, I was out of bed and had him against the wall so he couldn’t even move (why yes, the working out _has_ been paying off, *preens*), holding his own knife to his cheek, just biting into his skin a little bit.

And I was _pissed_.

I mean, I’ve been mad before; I’ve even been furious and livid, but it’s actually a rare occasion when I get flat-out _pissed_.

When I get pissed, things have a tendency to be severely damaged: I have clear recollection of destroying thousands of priceless objects back at the mansion because I was in such a state and there were no living things around on which to take out my anger.

Raimundo just happened to be unfortunate enough to still be in the vicinity of me immediately after pissing me off.

Oh! Here’s a little tidbit about me that I bet you didn’t know: when I get so mad I can barely see straight, I revert to German. One would think it’d be English ‘cause that’s the language my parents speak, but y’know, they didn’t really _raise_ me. I actually spent a lot of time with my grandparents. A lot with Granny, yeah, but when I was _little-_ little, mom dropped me off at her father’s house more often.

Grandad was pretty cool. He wasn’t evil. Actually, I think he was some kind of clerk for an accounting firm back in Germany. I’d know more about his exact job, but I was too young to ask (or care to ask) those kinds of questions and now that I’m old enough, he’s been dead for three or four years, so…

Well, anyways, I spent a lot of that ‘impressionable’ time with him and ended up learning German from him.

Anywho, though…

So, I had the bastard up against the wall, knife to his face, and began threatening his life in German. Which is really the best language to threaten people with; even if they don’t know what you’re snarling at them, the guttural tone of it is enough to make them back the hell off and act right around you.

Luckily for me, though (who didn’t even realize I wasn’t speaking Chinese, so infuriated was I), Rai must’ve taken some language classes or something to be given the title of Xiaolin monk because it seemed he understood me perfectly.

Me: Backpfeifengesicht! Was denkst du du tust?

Rai: *noticing the blade incredibly close to his face* J-Jack, take it easy, man, I-I wasn’t going to do anyth-

Me: Ja, du warst!

Rai: No, no, really!

Me: *drops tone low, presses knife into his cheek a little harder, drawing a tiny bit of blood* Ich will dass ihr mich versteht. Ich kann dich töten zuerst.

Rai: *gulp*

Me: *brings knife just below his remaining eye* Ich kann Ihre anderen Auge außerdem entfernen. Ist das, was Sie wollen? Zu völlig blind betragen?

Rai: *veritably freaks*

I didn’t _really_ hurt him, though; I sent him off with a warning. Hopefully that cut I made on his cheekbone scars so he’ll remember it.

So, then he scurried away like the dumbass he is, probably having pissed his pants…

…and was able to escape right through my open bedroom door, from which Chase was and apparently _had_ been watching me.

He was giving me a weird look, like he’d never seen me before in his life.

Or maybe he’d just never seen me be threatening and intimidating before.

Either way, he just…sort of stared at me for awhile, which made me a little uneasy. I still, at that point, had failed to realize I was speaking German.

It didn’t matter, ‘cause things pretty much went as follows:

Me: …Was?

Chase: *growl, pounce*

Flurry of Sex-Making: *happens*

 _After_ the flurry of sex-making, I managed to switch back to Chinese (which Chase was gloating about for a _long_ while: he gave it to me _so_ good, I changed tongues!) and queried where the hell all _that_ had come from.

Apparently, it _really_ turns him on when I let my evil side shine through, and according to him, that was one of the most evil things I’d done yet: fend off an assassin, threaten to remove the one eye he had left and kill him.

That and he _really_ enjoyed the way my voice sounds in German.

He commented on how wicked I’d sounded using that particular tongue, and I shot back with, “German’s a good language for expressing dark intentions. After all, it’s the language used to fuck over some six million Jews.”

My sense of humor really _is_ terrible (nothing to get a good laugh out of like the old Holocaust, eh?), but Chase was amused, so I don’t much care that it was in bad taste. XD

But to be honest…aside from that, nothing noteworthy has really happened today.


	129. 5/25/09

**5/25/09-**

If I had to think of a single word to sum up my day, it’d probably be…sex.

Started off normal enough: woke up an hour or so after Chase did, had breakfast ready by the time his morning routine was over, ate said breakfast, and was then treated to a healthy work out in his room for being such a damn good consort to him.

It was around then that things got a little quirky.

Chase asked me…no, lemme rephrase that: Chase _ordered_ me to speak Deutsch to him in bed.

Kinda kinky, but…I talk dirty to him _all_ the time during sex; gotta vary it up _somehow,_ I guess.

I didn’t have any problem with it, seeing as I like the language and it _does_ seem to turn him on a good deal, and besides that, he had his hand on my cock as he was demanding it and he demanded it in such a way so as to suggest he would _stop_ touching me if I didn’t, which…well, do I even have to say it? DO NOT WANT.

Sexy fun was had.

Me: Oh…ohhh, Gottverdammt…! Fick mich, mein meister! Ich möchte, dass Sie, Ich brauche dich…! Ahhh, Gott! Ja, dort! NNGH…!

Chase: *practically purring while simultaneously fucking me into the mattress* Wollen Sie mir, Spicer? Wollen Sie meine Schwanz? Blas mir einen, Schlampe!

I, who’d had no idea that Chase not only spoke fluent German, but was up to date on some of the dirtier slang, came almost immediately and, after riding out my orgasm, proceeded to obey my evil lord and master and sucked his cock.

I then decided it wasn’t really fair that he got to be such a fucking sex god and decided to be a naughty consort.

I managed to lie straight to his face and told him I was going down to the lab to get back to work on the Tech Star Hanabi; I didn’t, naturally. I might work on it for _real_ tomorrow, but today…not so much.

Anyways, I told him that, and he said he was going to go take a bath, which he did.

I went in search of an old Wu: Passion’s Pendant.

I realized Chase hadn’t suspected a thing out of the ordinary when I walked into the lavish bathroom he was bathing in, wearing nothing but the necklace and calmly announcing its name, and he actually looked _surprised_. He _hadn’t_ been suspecting it all along.

In any case, he growled, dragged me into the water and proceeded to paw at me as if I was the sexiest thing on the planet (which to him at that moment, I must’ve been; now I now what it must feel like to be _him_ , only multiply that by, like, eighty-bajillion-million and every second of every single day ever!). More sexing was had, which I enjoyed very much because I was smothered with more sexual attention than usual, and being who I am, I _like_ attention. A _lot_.

At some point, he managed to assert more control over himself (he’s got that whole warrior, tai-chi self-control/concentration thing going on; I’m not surprised), confiscated the Wu from me and then used it for himself.

Naturally, more coked-up-rabbit-type screwing was done with _me_ as the desperately horny one this time, but since the water in the bath was starting to cool a little bit, we moved it to my bed.

We fucked…hell, I can’t even put a number to it. A lot. We fucked _a lot_. At some point, he took off the Passion’s Pendant altogether; said he wanted to inspire that mad sort of lust in me on his own and without the aid of magical toys.

Let’s just say I proved he had nothing to worry about in that department.

Eventually, we’d pretty much fucked ourselves silly to the point where I couldn’t even get it up anymore and Chase decided he was much too sore to _want_ to get it up, so we just rolled around like cats in heat, touching and pawing at each other.

After we finally decided to outright _stop_ , he paused, like he was suspicious of something.

He proceeded to point out to me that the last time we’d screwed so goddamn much was when Wuya had been drugging his shampoo, and…well, to quote him precisely, “Spicer, I sincerely hope that you have not decided to follow in that dratted witch’s footsteps and repeat her failed actions: you should know well enough the horrors that will happen to you should that be the case.”

He thought I was drugging him! Like I’d be that unapologetically _stupid_!

No, thank you. I’ve already had a couple of ‘near-misses’ in terms of keeping the master-consort relationship with Chase going, and I’m not dumb enough to want to _purposefully_ endanger it.

I told him honestly that I was prepared to swear on whatever he wanted me to that I haven’t been slipping Viagra in his food or any other conceivable location and humbly suggested that perhaps the reason we’d just had an outbreak of sex, sex, and more sex is that I’d only recently gotten over the coma thing and then was just a couple of days ago hit with the horrifying memories of said coma, which could’ve easily put me out of commission in terms of bed duty for _another_ two-and-a-half weeks.

My theory was that Chase wanted to fuck me so much today because he wanted to revel in the fact that he _could_ ; that another sex-depriving catastrophe had been adroitly avoided.

My Lord of Chaos and Sexy Evil decided this was very much plausible and then declared he was too damn tired from all the sex to even go sleep in his own bed and has totally conked out lying on my stomach.

Not before idly commenting on how I’m becoming less squishy in the middle, mind you, with which he seems very much pleased!

Note to self: keep up daily work-outs, they lead to mweeful Chase-compliments.

Either way…I figure I’m about to join him in terms of catching some Zs, so g’nite!


	130. 5/26/09

**5/26/09**

If yesterday was summed up by ‘sex,’ today was definitely ‘awesome’…and maybe some ‘lulz’ thrown in there.

So there were, like, six Showdowns today, all of which I totally kicked ass at.

Chase seems pretty set on me keeping up with my gaining of musculature; he insists it’s vital to my progress as a being of evil for me to get _at least_ strong enough to lift more than a quarter of my own weight, if not more.

He acts like I’m protesting, honestly, which I’m not. I mean, yeah, I’m admittedly pretty lazy about stuff, but if I’ve got personal interest in something, I’ll do what I have to in order to get what I want.

Let’s look at the facts for a second: by working out a little bit every day, I get to blow off some steam, get compliments and generally pleased behavior from the man I’m hopelessly in love with, gain the ability to much easier whoop the monks’ asses, _and_ my sexual stamina’s gone up like _whoa._

I’m decidedly inclined to keep up the daily routine of pumping a little iron if those are the kinds of results I get from it.

Anyways, though, back to the Showdown pwnage!

It was nice to see the monks again. Clay’s walking with a very obvious limp (think Igor without the hunch), Kim is up and about again but she’s moving like she’s as old as Chase actually is (not as old as he _looks_ ), and Rai…

Rai’s the best of the three as far as I’m concerned.

He’s still missing his eye, naturally, but he’s sporting a brand new slice just under the eye he’s got left courtesy of yours truly. It looked pretty…raw when I saw him last, but I’m not too surprised. That’s a pretty sensitive area, and by the looks of it, I’m betting he’s picking at it every time it tries to scab.

That in mind, it’s _totally_ gonna scar. *has an evil glee* Even better than that, it turns out he’s still a little _scared_ of me! It’s his own fault, really since _he’s_ the one who attacked _me_ and got himself threatened, but…

It’s just _really_ satisfying to declare that you’re fighting for a Wu and see the other guy’s eyes go wide and his face drain of blood before he shakily asserts that he’s _not_ gonna fight you for any reason.

I’m thinking I was on that power-high for a good ten hours; I might actually _still_ be on it.

In any case, Rai was too gun-shy to go up against me so soon (prick’ll be over that in no time, I bet), Kim was too physically stilted to, and Clay did his damnedest against me, but the limp was seriously hindering him and with my specialty being speed and evasion, I might as well have been totally unopposed.

Well…I bet Omi could’ve given me a run for my money if he was up against me, but y’know, he’s Chase’s kitty-cat now, and he’s obviously not about to defect back to the Xiaolin side.

Huh…just had a weird idea: maybe after I get a little quicker/better/stronger, I can ask Chase to let Omi spar with me or something; maybe have him teach me some martial arts basics.

I’d ask Chase to do it himself, but I’m thinking I’ll learn slow and make a lot of mistakes at first (if not throughout), and if his boundless patience (learned over his centuries of living, I’m sure) manages to hold out and he’s still trying to teach me after a week, the annoyance and frustration will kick in at me not naturally being as awesome as him and generally not good at that kinda stuff, and it’ll be an unpleasant experience for both of us when _I_ react in turn with my boundless snark (learned over my lifetime of being smarter than everybody around me and having to find a way to amuse myself at their expense).

Omi, on the other hand, has pretty likely _never_ been frustrated in his life before _ever_ and is fairly good at the martial arts portion of what he used to do (he’s shit at the ‘honor and goodness’ stuff, though). Besides that, he wouldn’t _get_ my snark when _I_ get frustrated at stuff ‘cause he’s so damn clueless and would just keep trying to help me learn things. I guess as a quid pro quo kinda thing, I could _attempt_ to help him out with his slang problems.

Key-word: _attempt_. It’d be a _monumental_ task, but I guess no less monumental than teaching me all this martial arts shit.

I figure if Omi _can_ help me out and get me to a point where I can’t learn anything else from him, _then_ I could go to Chase for any further training he might want me to have that Omi never got around to learning or wasn’t taught because it was ‘oooh, _EVIL_ , so scaaary and baaad…!’

Anyways, though, off of that tangent and back to the matter at hand!

So, I won the first five Showdowns of the day pretty easy, and the sixth Wu went active the _second_ I made it back to the palace and had just walked into Chase’s room for a hand or blowjob; really anything we could do without hurting ourselves with actual sex (yesterday’s marathon of it had us both pretty sore).

I groaned, totally annoyed…

…and then had a _really_ good idea of what to do instead of going all the way to where it was (which I later found out was Norway, so good thing).

Me: Hey, Chase, can I borrow your GTC gloves real quick?

Chase: *curious* Yes…here.

I took ‘em, ran back to my room to grab the Thing-Finder and a small vidscreen that I’d been trying to work into the Jackbot design in general, and came back to Chase’s room to put it all into place.

I programmed the vidscreen to play something specific when the ‘Play’ button was pushed, found where the Wu was _exactly_ with the Thing-Finder, and opened a wormhole directly to it with the GTC gloves to swap it with the screen.

I then begged Chase to come watch the aftermath with me, promising it’d be good. He was intrigued enough at that point to honestly want to know, and so he ‘ported us into the throne room to watch via the Eye Spy Orb.

It. Was. _AWESOME_.

The monks showed up pretty quickly after we started watching, were dismayed by the distinct lack of Wu, and were curious about the vidscreen in precisely the spot Dojo _insisted_ he’d felt the Wu activated.

Rai was the one who ended up pressing the ‘Play’ button.

Vidscreen: _Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna…_

Rai: *to Kim* Did we…did we just-

Kim: *mortified* Yes. We just got RickRoll’d by Jack Spicer.

Chase about died laughing because, as it turns out, he’s rather up to date on internet trends (he reads LOLCATS!) and to see the monks so cleverly disrespected through my use of a music video from the 80s was infinitely amusing to him.

I’m amused, too, to be honest, but that’s more ‘cause of the fact that Chase reads LOLCATS than anything else.

Hmmm…I wonder if he knows about _Not Always Right_?


	131. 5/27/09

**5/27/09-**

I talked to Chase about maybe getting some help from Omi eventually.

He was...surprised, to say the least. I think he was still under the impression that I had no interest in ever learning kung fu.

I explained that I _did_ want to get better at this shit someday and that even though the monks weren't really in a position to do much against me even _without_ me knowing martial arts, it'd probably be beneficial to know it.

He looked proud of me for thinking it through and wanting it on my own (without his putting the idea in my head) as it was. I think I only multiplied that tenfold when I brought up the point that if I was trained in that kind of thing, I could serve him a lot better, like...say if Wuya ever reared her ugly face around here again when Chase wasn't around, I'd be able to kick her out on her ass instead of just sitting back and letting the cats take care of her and leaving Chase to clean up the mess later.

He told me it would take a long time for someone like me to learn. I said yeah, it probably would. He said there was no chance I would learn without bruising my delicate self to all hell. I said didn't I know it. He pointed out that my sleeping in late and a good deal of my goofing off time would be sacrificed to this. I said fuck yeah, it would.

Chase looked me right in the eye and asked me if I was really okay with all that.

I said what the hell _else_ was I supposed to do while I was raking in more money than Dethklok and simultaneously easily able to make any machine I ever fucking want to already? There's really no room for improvement in the field I'm currently in. This'll be a challenge for me; one of the first real ones I've had in a while.

It'll be hard, definitely, but to be honest, I think it might be good for me.

Chase commended me on the idea and said he would speak to Omi about it; gauge how he felt about the idea and see what could be done.

He _was_ curious as to why I didn't want _him_ , master of my heart, body, and soul, to instruct me, but I explained my reasoning and he agreed it would be for the best if Omi worked me through the harder, beginning stuff and then he guided me through the easier everything else, if just to avoid the inevitable tension that would come from only him trying to teach me.

Can you even imagine? I'm trying to get something going in bed or whatever and he'd just explode with, "Good _gods_ , Spicer, you put such effort in this when you _should_ be focusing on your training? You can't even learn *insert random easy thing here*! How are you so incompetent?!" And you know, that'd kill whatever mood there already _wasn't_ , we'd pretty much stop fucking, and the whole consort relationship would totally die which I definitely don't want to happen (and am glad to know Chase doesn't either), so...

Yeah, it's just a bad idea overall, y'know?

That was discussed and mostly settled, and after that, I decided that I seriously had to get back to work on the Tech Star Hanabi because I was majorly behind on account of the setbacks (coma, mental breakdown, general apathy, etc).

It wasn't too hard, but then again, I was never expecting it to be. Either way, it's finished, but to be honest, I'm not too sure how marketable it is. I guess I'm reeling in enough as it is, but still...I'm not a fan of using my resources and time/effort on something that I won't get even a trivial profit or amusement out of.

Then again...maybe some armies could find a use for a non-fossil fuel-operated flamethrower. It'd certainly mean more people will die in wars if that kind of technology is more widely available, and if there's anything I'm in favor of, it's dead people. Plus I get to make money off of something I don't like getting killed, which is pretty sweet.

I-oh...consort sense going off. I think I'm starting to refine it unconsciously or something, 'cause I've got the very _distinct_ feeling he wants to fuck me over or up against something and then suck my dick (which is to be reciprocated, naturally).

I leave you with a quote by the immortal George Carlin: "Think for a moment about the concept of the flamethrower. Okay? The flamethrower. Because we have them. Well, _we_ don't have them, the army has them….But we have flamethrowers. And what this indicates to me, it means that at some point, some person said to himself, ‘Gee, I sure would like to set those people on fire over there. But I'm way too far away to get the job done. If only I had something that would throw flame on them.’ "


	132. 5/28/09

**5/28/09-**

Today was boring. Therefore I caused a little mayhem to amuse myself.

Said mayhem began this morning when I _woke up_ bored and consequently went to terrorize the monks a bit just 'cause I felt like it.

Not overtly, mind you; last time I let it be known that I was the one damaging their shit, I woke up in a hospital from brain death after, like, three weeks.

No, this time I was subtle. I snuck in with the SOSv2 and just generally went about messing with stuff: y'know, rearrange some Wu in the vault without actually taking anything, compromising the structural integrity of some chairs and tables, slap a dress and some makeup on Ninja Fred and move him onto Kim's bed; the usual 'fuck with their heads' kinda stuff.

As of now, I've wasted three hours of some elderly monks' day through necessary Wu reorganization, wrecked a couple hundred bucks worth of dishes and dinner when the table couldn't take the weight, broke a chair (and likely bruised Clay's ass when it hit the floor _because_ of the broken chair), and have caused a near-irreconcilable fight between the Xiaolin lovebirds over a stupid teddy bear, all with the lot of them having no idea that it's any more than a little bad luck.

I'd say, "My work here is done," but besides the fact that it's cheesy, I might go back later to eff with 'em some more.

I then decided to inflict my boredom upon Chase (in between bouts of sex, of course).

That's not to say I broke his stuff or endeavored to make him look dumb; no, I value my life, thanks. But I _did_ bug him to do stuff with me or otherwise keep me entertained.

He asked me why _should_ he? He had no obligation to do so, after all.

I admitted that no, he didn't, but did he really want _me_ bored and let loose in his palace?

So, Chase conceded that he could at least watch a bit of TV with me if it would save his home from complete and utter destruction, and I said, "Awesome."

Eventually we ended up watching Metalocalypse, and to my great surprise, he got into it!

I thought that was weird; doesn't seem like something he'd like, y'know? But lo and behold, the Evil Overlord was amused.

We also happen to share a liking of the band manager, Mr. Ofdensen, maybe because he's the most intelligent character in the show _and_ happens to be majorly badass considering his occupation.

Chase echoed my thoughts exactly during DethSources when the CFO fenced Melmord Fjordslorn off of the dragon-head for trying to take his job: "Not bad for a pencil-pusher."

He was also relatively annoyed at the cliffhanger the Season 2 finale left off with and was further annoyed to be told there was no word of a Season 3 happening anytime soon, but it _was_ fun to just hang out with him over some TV and snacks, criticizing the overall stupidity of the 'most brutal band in the world.'

Of course, then we went back to our usual routine of sex to an extent that would make a hooker beg for mercy and, because I'd been bored _all day_ , I opted for one of the funner types of lube; one we hadn't used yet: glitter.

It's true that glitter is the herpes of the arts and crafts world: I haven't gotten it washed off yet, and I'm not hopeful to get it off...ever, actually. There'll probably be at least _one_ speck on me for eternity from now on.

Certainly helped with my boredom problem, though, seeing as by the time we'd fucked each other silly, I looked like a goddamn pixie and Chase's hands and dick were looking particularly...Cullenesque.

Stupid-ass book, by the way.

Anywho, though, aside from the few brief moments of amusement, my boredom's still got a pretty tight grip on me and, in the interest of not getting myself killed for wrecking the palace, I think I'm going to head back over to the Xiaolin temple...


	133. 5/29/09

**5/29/09-**

Today was pretty uneventful.

Essentially, the usual happened all day long: woke up, made breakfast, tinkered around in the lab, made dinner, and went to bed, all doused liberally with Chase-sexings.

Jeez, I hope I’m not falling into a rut or something, _that’d_ suck.

One of my big attractions to Chase is that I never get bored of him. I’ve got an admittedly short attention span when it comes to certain things, but…well, let’s face facts: he’s just too awesome to get bored of.

If I’m getting bored of him…

Aside from the fact that it’ll be the end of the world ( _me_ getting tired of _him?_ ), I can’t imagine how _he’d_ react to somebody wanting to break things off with _him._ Hell, it’s probably never even _happened_ before!

*sigh* I’m gonna go to bed. Hopefully this ‘mundane’ thing is just a fluke.


	134. 5/30/09

**5/30/09**

I officially retract everything I said in the previous entry: Chase is not, nor will he ever be boring to me.

So, this morning started out pretty normally; y’know, I woke up and went to make breakfast like I usually do.

Then, my consort sense went off, but… _weird._ Like, I knew Chase was horny, but that whatever it is he wanted to do he either didn’t want to with me or _couldn’t_ with me.

I coined on pretty quick that he was in the mood for some heterosexual sex and decided whatever, I’ll just grin and bear it when he does show up later and pretend I have no idea he just boned a chick.

As it turns out, I didn’t have to!

Get this: while I was still making breakfast, silently dreading the fact he was about to get it on with a woman, Chase summoned Katnappé so they could…well, get it on.

I had thought she’d redeemed herself pretty well in both Chase’s and my eyes for the really-super-ultra-dumb idea she had along the lines of, “Let’s rape an evil, immortal dragonlord!” by saving my life after the coma thing.

I can’t imagine why she’d go and wreck it with this newest dumb idea.

One of Chase’s golden rules in sex besides ascertaining that the other person is in the mood, first, is making sure that the other person is actually cool with what you’re doing.

Basically, instead of, “If it feels good, do it,” Chase’s version is, “If it feels good, check to make sure your partner thinks so, too, before doing it.”

Katnappé disregarded this.

She decided that since Chase had invited her for sex, that meant he was up for anything, and she had a fantasy she always wanted to enact.

The dumb bitch went ahead without obtaining Chase’s consent first and just _did_ it.

Needless to say, Chase was pissed and kicked her out without even screwing her first.

I know all this because he came to breakfast pissed as hell and ranted about what she’d done and how _fucking furious_ he was about it.

I’m thinking Katnappé’s _really_ lucky that serum she injected him with was only temporary. I can’t _imagine_ what he’d have done to her if those cat ears were permanent…

Really, they were adorable while they lasted; once he calmed down enough to want to fuck me, he let me pet them and their fur was _just_ as soft as his hair is, not to mention he got some enjoyment out of the petting, too. He _purred,_ but I’ll never tell him that: consider it a favor to the bitch who saved my life.

If Chase _knew_ that he’d _purred_ like a housepet because of what she injected him with, she would be _DEAD._

We ended up fucking most of the day, though, and at one point, while we were kinda cuddling, he told me, _“This_ is why you are my favorite consort, Spicer: because _you_ don’t pull ridiculous, unsolicited antics in bed!”

Basically, I take that as a, “So long as Katnappé remains a stupid twat, you shall be my favorite.”

I _really_ don’t think I’ve got anything to worry about.

Anyways, though, I’ve got to go: my consort sense is going off again and _this_ time, I’m absolutely positive it’s for me.

I’m coming, O Lord of Chaos and Sexy Evil!


	135. 5/31/09

**5/31/09-**

Today, I was reminded about how fucking stupid the populous of the world is. Fortunately, I was also reminded just how easy it is to put their feet in their mouths.

So, this morning, I decided to watch the news; y’know, catch up on current events and such, and the _second_ I flicked on the TV, I hear a bunch of people screaming and freaking out about shit.

Apparently, unbeknownst to me, some of my private information was leaked to a news source (and when I find the leak, they’re fucking dead, of course).

In any case, the entire world now knows that I dropped out of school in the 6th grade.

I don’t much care: _I_ know how smart I am and _I_ know that my self-education was _much_ better than anything I could’ve gotten in a public school system, but everybody else was not so happy about it.

A whole group of people collectively decided that since I’m a dropout, I must be dumb.

I was _pissed the fuck off._

I naturally called a press conference as soon as I could to get this whole mess straightened out ASAP.

Reporters: How can we believe these things that you’re building and marketing are gonna work if you don't even have a high school degree?!

Me: First of all, you’ve _seen_ the things I’ve made work. It’s because of me and my inventions that the world is now headed down the path of clean energy _not_ derived from fossil fuels harmful to the planet. Secondly, dropout doesn’t necessarily equal stupid. Richard Desmond was a dropout. Li Ka-shing was a dropout. _Bill Gates_ was a friggin’ dropout and they’re all billionaires!

Reporters: Bill Gates dropped out of _college!_ You haven’t even _attended_ college!

Me: *eyeroll* Do you have _any_ idea how many college students hardly do any work and just _barely_ earn their degrees? They get 'em, but they haven't _earned_ 'em. I haven’t been to college, no: I’m self-educated, and I daresay I already know more than I ever could’ve learned at _any_ college. There isn’t a single course in the educational system right now that would properly engage my intellect without boring me to death: my IQ is too high to be forced to plod along at even ‘fast-paced’ study programs.

Reporters: Isn’t that a bit arrogant to say?

Me: No, it’s the truth. I’m too fucking smart for college: things would be too easy and I would learn too fast, and my mind could very well destroy itself via boredom.

Reporters: Oh, yeah? Well, if you’re so smart, why don’t you prove it? (I’m paraphrasing, here.)

Me: Maybe I will!

I did. I organized a live IQ test only a couple hours later, which I then proceeded to take. There were cameras so as to broadcast it all over the world, at least four proctors monitoring me constantly so as to prove I wasn’t cheating, and the video-feed was live so it would settle the whole issue once and for all.

I treasure the look on the naysayers’ faces _so_ dearly! They were practically sneering, all smug in their secure knowledge of me actually turning out to be stupid, and then my IQ was announced, and…oh, their faces just _fell,_ like they were kids and somebody had just showed them a video of a murder-suicide with Santa and the Easter Bunny.

On the bright side, my IQ actually went _up_ from the last time I checked: it’s 3 _20,_ now!

Furthermore on the bright side, I got to prove myself right in front of billions of people _and_ my net-worth has gone up by a couple million. Seems people know it’s a good idea to invest in stuff a super-genius built.

Actually, I really don’t see a _down_ side to this whole thing, except for the fact that it was maybe a little tedious, but…that’s _easily_ overlooked in light of all the good stuff.

Ahhh, I’m so smug right now, I should probably be shot. Maybe Chase will tolerate me…


	136. 6/1/09

**6/1/09-**

So, I’m just about done being smug about the whole, ‘most intelligent person _on the motherfucking planet_ ’ thing, now. Not totally, but at least I’ve stopped exclaiming, “HA HA, TAKE _THAT,_ BITCHES!” every time I walk into a room.

Anyways, I decided I needed to take care of this ‘leak’ thing before it blew up out of control. Sure, whoever the idiot was only ended up increasing my business by proving to the world that I’m a super-genius, but I figured if they got ahold of my school records, they had my health records, too, which I had been _sure_ I’d eradicated along with Frankie’s criminal records.

Things would go south _really_ fucking quick if people knew I was slightly off-kilter and had attempted both murder and suicide _in addition_ to working with my bastard half-brother who was in possession of pyrokinetic abilities and had caused billions of dollars in damages to the city of Dakota.

So, I took a little trip back to the mansion to talk with my big brother and ask him if he had any clue who might’ve figured this shit out.

While I was there, I found out three important things:

1) Frankie’s boyfriend is jealous of me for being smarter than him _naturally_ when he had to get his intellect from some superpower-gas. I has a smug!

2) Holy crap, you’re not gonna believe this, but Finnian has shacked up with _Negriss!_ Naturally, this came as very much of a surprise to me. I almost questioned _how_ but thought better of it and just asked him _why?_ Fin reminded me that reptiles have a certain way with seduction that’s really hard to ignore and I, thinking of my own reptilian overlord, had to agree with him and wished them the best after threatening Negriss with Chase should he ever eat and/or poison my rat. It was a bit of a bluff as I’m not all that sure how willing Chase would be to step in for me if something happened to Fin, but it seemed to work, in any case.

3) Frankie pointed me in the direction of some weird activity that he seemed to think would lead me to the leak. I had asked why he didn’t tell me earlier if he’d been suspicious, but he said it’d _literally_ popped up yesterday and since I’d been dealing with the ‘never graduated high school’ fallout, he hadn’t been able to reach me.

Either way, I followed the activity and guess what? I found the leak!

It was some idiot-hacker a competing company hired to try and take me down from the inside, but there were a couple of problems with that. First of all, they picked an _idiot-_ hacker, one who could hack my systems and get the information he did, but who didn’t know how to cover his tracks. Second, they failed to realize that they were dealing with a _super-fucking-genius._

I found the guy, in any case; I had him brought in for some interrogation-type questioning, and when that failed to yield anything, I decide to do something more personal: torture.

It was my first time torturing somebody in another way than psychologically, but…I don’t think I did too horribly. I’ve seen more gruesome things than most people have in my lifetime already (like, I dunno, my own _brain death?)_ , so it wasn’t too hard to deal with watching the gore. I didn’t even puke or _anything_ when I had his nose and fingers cut off!

Anyways, he gave up the stuff I wanted pretty quick after that: who hired him, what information he had, where the information was, and did anyone else have it?

He’d had all the information I _thought_ he’d had and was actually prepared to release my psychological records a few hours after I’d had him picked up on orders of the company who hired him.

I couldn’t let said company go unpunished, of course. They fucking _messed with me._ That cannot be allowed.

I hacked into _their_ system and created a pretty much unstoppable virus that leaked itself into every computer and device in the network; cell phones, external hard drives, iPods, _everything_ that had ever come in contact with the main network.

The message, “DO NOT FUCK WITH ME AGAIN,” popped up on all of those things for a few seconds, and then every device shut down. When it was restarted, all data that had been on it was completely wiped and irrecoverable. I’m positive that that company will _not_ be fucking with me again, if just for the fact that they’ve been completely eradicated due to the loss of all information they’ve ever had _and_ the need to declare bankruptcy due to all the customers suing them for losing their information and getting my virus onto _their_ computers and such, too.

And unlike idiot-hacker, _I_ knew how to make my virus untraceable, so while the head of the company may suspect me (and with good reason) for ruining him, he can’t take action against me as he has no proof. He would have to first admit what he’d done to me to even get anyone to believe him, which would only dig him a bigger hole as _I_ would sue him for stealing my information in the first place.

Hoo-fucking-ray for being a genius: it most certainly _is_ the good life.  >=D

Unfortunately (or _fortunately_ in my case), I must be going, now, as Chase is always made incredibly horny when I let my evil side shine through and today was a pretty _awesome_ example of that happening, I’d say.

I’m off to suck and fuck some dick; perhaps I’ll write more about it later.


	137. 6/2/09

**6/2/09-**

So, I decided to get back to the business of Wu replication today, seeing as it had to be gotten to eventually.

I informed Chase of my decision, and he essentially just dropped the Helmet of Jong into my lap and said, “Figure it out.”

Even for me, this is…kind of a doozy. The Helmet of Jong, in addition to working as a piece of Mala Mala Jong, lets the user have eyes in the back of their head.

Not that anybody’s ever seemed to use it for that; they’ve all practically got eyes in the back of their head _anyways_ what with all their martial arts training and ‘tiger instincts’ and all that crap. Really, the only one who could have any conceivable use for this fucker would be me, but even _then,_ it’s pretty unnecessary. Omi is Chase’s pet, now, and Clay’s got a limp severe enough to put him at an extreme disadvantage… I mean, I guess Kimiko must’ve healed up by now, so there’d be her to contend against, and then, maybe Rai if he’s gotten over the whole, ‘me threatening his life in guttural German with a knife to his face’ thing, yet.

To be honest, I’m not that worried, even _with_ the two biggest Xiaolin pricks being mostly able-bodied. I’ve taken Rai down before with just my matter-shifter, and I could always use it again as a tried and true method. As for Kimiko…well, Christ, she’s just terrible. Yeah, she can control fire, whatever, but…not _really,_ y’know? With her, it’s always random fireballs or a just a chaotic spray of INFERNO. Not really _refined,_ at all.

Frankie’s pyrokinesis is actually a lot better than Kimiko’s, now that I think about it. He does fireballs and chaotic inferno-sprays, but he’s capable of the more refined stuff. He’s started fires and controlled precisely what they burned and what they left unsinged. Hell, I heard from Richie that he managed to tone down a raging fire just so they could make out in it, and even that he made a _sword_ out of flames one time. _That’s_ refinement of the power.

Kimiko? No. Not so much, her.

Anyways! Helmet of Jong. Yeah, not really sure what to do with it. There’s no real _marketable_ thing I could do with it, so I probably won’t even try for that, but I guess…I could try to rework it into something _I_ could use personally.

That’s gonna be hard. I mean, I could probably set up some sort of system that lets you have eyes in the back of your head, but the real issue would be making it inconspicuous first. The human eye is a _complicated_ fucking piece of work; all sorts of rods and cones. It took some 500 million years for evolution to get it right; perfect functionality in a small, convenient, and non-evolutionary-fitness-reducing package. I can duplicate it, definitely, probably with advanced cameras and such so as to _improve_ on the quality of sight, but…

The problem would lie in actually being able to _use_ the cameras. Tiny, spy-type ones would be good for the inconspicuity part (eyes in the back of your head aren’t worth much if people know you have ‘em and don’t even _try_ to attack you from behind).

The real problem is that I’d have to set up some kind of hook-up that would receive the feed from the cameras and translate the data properly so that I’ll actually be able to _see_ what the cameras are recording.

To do that, I’d either have to ‘plug’ the cameras into my existing ocular set up (which could result in failure and going completely blind, so fuck that) or I’d have to stick a specialized microchip in my skull to allow my mind to translate the electrical signals of the data it would be receiving from the cameras.

This, of course, would mean brain surgery. Again. Understandably, I don’t think I’m too terribly ready to get my head sliced open for a second time, much _less_ of my own volition.

Urgh…I seriously don’t want to do all that recovering crap again (I look _horrible_ with a buzz cut, and I _hate_ bed rest: _not_ for me), but there’s really no other option with this stupid Wu.

Why the hell is this bastard on the ‘To Replicate’ list? I have no idea why we didn’t skip over this piece of crap. Maybe it’s Chase trying to give me a challenge or something dumb like that…

Oh, fuck it: I’m going see Chase about it personally. Before I go slicing into my skull over this, I need to at least talk it over with him and see how he likes the idea of brain surgery.

  
 **6/2/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****He doesn’t. I’m not surprised since I wasn’t big on the idea, either, but Chase has flat-out denied that. No, not happening, never, no way in all the Hells that I am being so utterly _stupid_ as to cut my head open again, so I can just forget all that _right the fuck now._

While I’m relieved that he doesn’t approve and has thoroughly snubbed the idea, it also brings me right back to Square Motherfucking One, which…

Well, it sucks.

Agh, fuck you, Helmet of Jong, you useless piece of crap! I officially hate you and all you hold dear, you cold and unforgiving prick.

I give up for awhile. If anybody needs me, I will be taking some aspirin for the raging migraine I’m getting and then taking a nice, long soak in a nice, hot bath.

Fuckin’ Helmet of Jong…


	138. 6/3/09

**6/3/09-**

I’m almost positive Chase is pissed at me, and if he is, he’s got every right to be so.

Much as I really, really, _really_ want to just abandon any thoughts of the crappy Helmet of Jong, it remains stuck in my head. My brain just doesn’t seem to want to comprehend the idea of, ‘LATER, DAMMIT’ and keeps turning it over and over and over again in the attempt to think of some way to adapt it technologically.

The reason Chase is annoyed? Because somehow, my brain started pondering it some more _right in the middle of sex._

…yeah. X(

I seriously ruined a perfectly hot moment. We were doing it, I’m pretty sure we were both about to come, and then for whatever reason, I accidentally said, “…maybe if I use nanotechnology to get the microchip into my head _instead_ of brain surgery…” out loud.

Awkward and horrible doesn’t even _begin_ to cover it. For one, the mood was killed instantaneously and the sex was ended likewise. Secondly, Chase was _pissed_ to be insulted like that (I was having sex with _him,_ and then had the audacity to think about something other than _him_ right in the middle of it).

He called me a naked yard ape (which is a new one, so he invented a brand new derogatory name to call me _just_ for this) and soundly kicked me out, I assume so he could sit in his room and pout about the whole thing.

He’s been doing it for _hours,_ now, and his door is locked, so he must be in a full-blown snit over this.

It’s not like I find the Helmet of Jong more interesting than he is; _hell,_ no! It’s just that…sometimes when I encounter an actual conundrum I can’t stop thinking about it due to the fact that I hardly ever _encounter_ actual conundrums (genius intellect, and all). I’d _gladly_ stop thinking about this fucker if I had the choice. It’s a huge pain in the ass trying to figure all this out.

Despite the fact that I managed to royally piss my overlord off, I think I stumbled upon a good idea when I totally sabotaged our sex-life. Nanobots would be a _much_ safer alternative than surgery, and it should work in terms of setting the whole thing up.

Chase should be flattered: sex with him just gave my brain the burst it needed to figure out this whole crappy thing.

Ugh…anyways, I should probably go see about groveling like crazy until he opens his damn door. Of course, bribery helps, too: I’ll go make a batch of his favorite cupcakes first.


	139. 6/4/09

**6/4/09-**

I believe I have earned forgiveness.

After about an hour of shameless begging outside his door yesterday with no reply in the slightest, I offhandedly mentioned that the batch of brandy butter cream cupcakes I had with me, fresh out of the oven, were going to get cold.

The door was opened immediately, of course.

So, finally, I was let in and allowed the privilege of pleading my case while Chase enjoyed his cupcakes. I explained why I’d been so fixated on figuring the Helmet of Jong out, _swore_ I hadn’t meant to offend him, and promised it wouldn’t be happening again _ever._

Luckily, Chase is a adult man and is reasonable in situations like these; were he a crazed, hormonal woman, or even a crazed, hormonal man, I’d likely have been kicked out again and not spoken to for a good while.

As it was, Chase allowed me forgiveness just this once: if I do it again, I’ve been promised I’ll be out on my ear faster than I can say, “Aw, fuck.”

I’m okay with that, so I agreed and we finished what we’d started earlier. In fact, we kinda finished it all night long, if you catch my meaning. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

It’s, like, afternoon now, though, and I’m tired as hell from not sleeping. I’ll probably be catching up on some Zs for the rest of the day.


	140. 6/5/09

**6/5/09-**

Y’know…I did a lot of thinking today about this Helmet of Jong crap. I know I’d decided to do the nanite-thing, but…to be honest, I don’t know if I want to.

Even though I wouldn’t have to go through out-right _surgery_ to get the microchip in my head, I’d still have to put myself under anesthesia for a couple of hours while the nanobots piece it together and place it in the correct spot in my brain so I wouldn’t jostle them around and mess them up while they’re building and positioning it (machinery, _particularly_ small and delicate machines like microchips and nanotechnology, are very precise: one little thing goes wrong, and it all goes to hell, pretty much), which I can’t say I want to do…

Besides that, there’s the issue of the spy cameras that I never even considered before: I’d have to have them on the back of my head, like, _constantly_ for it to work properly, and even then, there’d be a lot of problems.

For one, they could break easily just going about my daily life (*cough*I’moftenhorizontal*cough*), I’d have to figure out how to turn them on and off and even coordinate the motions of the cameras simultaneously with my own eyes _(DIFFICULT),_ and finally, but kinda the most important one, if something breaks and the cameras stop feeding information to my brain, it could be way bad. Like… _ **WAY**_ bad.

How bad, you may still be asking?

Well, a broken microchip in the brain is _very_ bad and could actually damage some grey matter. I couldn’t even send in any nanites to fix it because they need to be expressly programmed beforehand for their task, and without knowing _exactly_ what’s wrong, I can’t program them to do it, meaning in order to fix the problem or remove the chip altogether, you guessed it…

Brain-surgery.

Which has been established as a definite _NO_ by both Chase and myself.

So, basically, what I’m trying to get at is that I nixed the whole idea altogether.

I was also _this_ close to dropping everything to do with the Helmet of Jong, but I mentioned it to Chase in explaining the whole thing, and he suggested that if I couldn’t come up with a way to make something that works like it, I could just figure out a way to nullify it; y’know, make it not work around me.

Things would’ve been _a lot_ easier if I’d thought to do that in the first place. *facepalm*

Anyways, though, I’m taking his advice: I’m gonna go about nullifying the effects of the Helmet of Jong in my presence, or at least I’ll go figure out _how_ to do that, anyways.


	141. 6/6/09

**6/6/09-**

In between bouts of sex and working on the Helmet of Jong, I’ve introduced Chase to a little website called People of Walmart.

I have never laughed so hard in my _life._ XD


	142. 6/7/09

**6/7/09-**

I don’t have time for sex _or_ work today. I…found something out and…I’m dead-sure I know who’s responsible. The evidence is there, so…I’ve just…I’ve just got to go track him down.

I’ll explain later, when I have more time for it.


	143. 6/8/09

**6/8/09-**

Helmet of Jong has been put on hold indefinitely.

I’m sure some excuse about how it’s too hard to figure out or how I have no real idea how to do it is expected here, but…that’s not the case.

She’s dead.

Those are some of the hardest words I’ll ever have to write (or say), but they’re true. She’s dead and a good deal of it is my fault.

Surprisingly enough…I’m more okay with this than I thought I’d be. I miss her. I wish she were still alive. I wish I hadn’t let that moronic hacker live…

But in a way, I guess I was prepared for it. She was 86 years old, had severe arthritis, osteoporosis, damaged lungs from all the smoking she did when she was younger, and her liver was shot to hell from drinking like a longshoreman…

She had to die _sometime_ and, despite the circumstances, Friday night was probably about as close to when her natural death would’ve been as anything.

The coroner said it was a little after midnight when the guy broke in. There were signs of a struggle: broken furniture and liquor bottles, blood all over the place and not just hers.

She went out fighting. I’m sure she would’ve wanted that.

She would’ve been happy to hear that when she shoved that broken whiskey bottle in the assassin’s gut right before he killed her, she ended up cutting a lot of important stuff. He collapsed on the sidewalk outside and bled to death right there.

I’m already grieving in my own way: I found the hacker again and got him to confess. Cowardly prick put the hit on her because he knew he didn’t want to screw with me directly again and knew he didn’t have a shot at hurting Chase or Frankie. In any case, I’m having him tortured _slow_ this time; no blood, no death, but he’ll _wish_ for it.

Did you know how many ways there are to torture people with water? Doesn’t leave a single mark, but it can drive a person completely insane. I think that’ll be the way to go.

Anyways, the wake’s gonna be pretty soon, first thing Wednesday morning. It’ll be a closed casket, since nobody really wants to see a dead old woman with a bullet hole in her forehead, me included.

I’ve already put in a call to Frankie and though I’m _sure_ they don’t care, I’ve sent an e-mail to mom and dad about it.

I’m not really sure what to do with myself right now.

I guess…I guess it couldn’t hurt to go lay down for awhile.


	144. 6/9/09

**6/9/09-**

FUCK, why is this so hard?! She was practically 90! I should’ve been ready for this! I should’ve _expected_ it!

Goddammit…the wake’s tomorrow and I _still_ can’t…

I’ve got this feeling mom and dad are gonna start something. I’d like to _think_ they wouldn’t; that they’d have enough decency not to pull their usual brand of crap at a dead woman’s wake…

…but then again, these are the people who tried to pull the plug on their comatose son and, failing that, tried to start up a goddamn _game show_ for women to compete for his sperm to bear genius offspring.

I don’t think I can put _anything_ past them.

If they start anything, I’m gonna punch them. I don’t care if it’s mom, I’ll knock the bitch’s teeth out if she starts talking shit about my grandma. If it’s dad…well, I’ll have a harder time if it’s dad: he’s a lot bigger than me, physically. Still, I think I can take him if I have to. I’ve picked up a couple of things from Chase while I’ve been living with him _and_ I’ve been holding my own against the monks for years, now. Unlike the monks, dad has not had any formal training so, y’know…I’d probably win in a fight.

I don’t know. I just…I don’t know anymore.

I’m gonna go find something to wear. Traditionally, in accordance with Chinese custom, I should’ve worn something light blue, but like Chase pointed out to me, I could easily get away with wearing something else due to how rich and privileged I am.

Besides, she’s American. If I showed up wearing blue and she were still alive, she’d have looked at me like I was nuts and told me to go put something black on before somebody saw me indisposed.

Oh, fuck. This is way too hard.


	145. 6/10/09

**6/10/09**

I knew it. Stupid fucking prick just _had_ to go and open his mouth...

So…dad said something. Next thing I know, I socked him right in the face and one thing led to another…

Well, long story short, I’ve got a black eye and a cut on my knuckle, dad’s got a broken nose, a cracked tooth, a new bald-spot (I’m not above hair-pulling; I’ll fight dirty if I want to), and we’re both all over the news for duking it out at my Granny’s wake.

Not…the best thing for publicity, I admit, but I think had said grandmother been around, she’d have approved that I punched the shit out of her son for being a greedy, insensitive douchebag.

That, and it’s bringing out a side in my supporters that I’ve never seen before. Usually, people are just a bunch of brainless morons and would’ve accused me or a lack of respect for starting it, but there’s a surprisingly _large_ amount of public opinion that I wouldn’t have done it unless it was warranted.

I’m glad for that much. I’m not sure I could deal with a public crucifixion over this right now.

Chase sure as hell thought the whole thing was hilarious. Oh, sure, he dragged me off dad when my eyes ‘started showing bloodlust,’ but he was grinning like he always does when he’s evilly amused.

It’s weird, though…I actually feel a lot better than I did before the wake. Huh. Maybe that fight was like…catharsis or something. Maybe I needed a physical scapegoat to…take stuff out on.

It’d make sense. Dad was always a gigantic asshole even _before_ his more recent bullcrap so I can see how I’d feel better after whooping his ass.

Come to think of it… I know something else physical I can do that usually makes me feel better.

I wonder if Chase is still up…?


	146. 6/11/09

**6/11/09**

THANK GOD.

I’m so happy it’s palpable: Chase agreed to drop the Helmet of Jong altogether.

*has internal party*

It’s such a stupid fucking Wu, really, and totally useless if you factor in all the other stuff that serves its function. Eyes in the back of my head? Let’s see: robotic army numbering in the millions with the top priority of keeping me from dying almost always in my immediate proximity, a violent, pyrokinetic psychopath of a brother, a badass evil everlord _quite_ intent on keeping his favorite consort out of future comas…

I think I’m safe without a damn Helmet of Jong replica, don’t you?

So, anyway, things were good for all of a few minutes this morning. Helmet of Jong was dropped, Chase handed me the Falcon’s Eye to work on instead, I was all excited about working on it…

…And then Team Retard showed up.

God, do I hate them.

Basically, they just broke into Chase’s house to demand I give them some of the Heal Me Juice. I’m not really sure why they think they deserved any: they’re the ones that necessitated its creation by beating me as close to death as I could get without _actually_ leaving my body, and they were given a crippling ass-whooping as compensation.

Sounds fair to me, but… *shrugs*

Doesn’t matter what’s fair, I guess, ‘cause they tried to order me to give them some. The patent for it got cleared recently, so it’ll be on the market pretty soon. I told them as much, but they decided that, no, I was supposed to give it to them _now_ and for _free_ because it was all _my_ fault they’d gotten fucked up in the first place.

Funny how quick they forget who fucked who up first, huh?

Well, I was in no mood for their shit and I guess they’d have known that if they watched the news and saw Dad’s face after I got done with it (I _pwned_ that prick; seriously), but seeing as they opted to give me shit anyway, I shall assume that they have not yet seen him.

Long story short, I went matter-shifter on their asses, Chase joined in for a bit, alerted Guan that his poorly-trained attack dogs had gotten out of their cage, again, and then the monks got worked over by their own master for awhile.

All told, I laughed: they _suck_ at being good. XD

Any-…

I sense a disturbance in the libido. Good thing I remembered to hide some lube in pretty much every room in the palace; I get the feeling I’m about to need it!


	147. 6/12/09

**6/12/09-**

Oh, lordy are the majority of people on Earth besides me borderline-retarded!

Item A) The world is _losing their minds_ over Swine Flu. Never mind the fact that the seasonal flu is deadly, too, and might even rack up a higher body count than Swine Flu, _the one with the pig-related name is deadly._ I can’t help but think of all the people running out to convenience stores in gasmasks to buy antibacterial hand-sanitizer and wonder if they’ll ever realize that Swine Flu is a virus and that anti _bacterial_ anything won’t do shit against it.

Item B) I’m being accused of reviving Swine Flu! HA HA HA HA HA. HA. Yeah, no. That’s not how it happened. Viruses pop up, fade out, and pop up again all the time. That’s why there’s two classifications of virus: emerging and reemerging. Still… I decided not to let people assume what they will about me and held a little press conference to shut ‘em up. After all, I’m a _techlord,_ not a goddamn biogeneticist. I told ‘em so, and then asked if they had anything else to bother me with or if they’d rather I go back to work on my handheld X-Ray device (Tech-Falcon’s Eye).

I think you can bet which one they chose.

Still, regardless of the low IQs of the rest of humanity, I’ve got the field of human technology to advance by several hundred decades and an insatiable, wicked dragonlord to keep sexually satisfied.

*smirk* Business as usual.


	148. 6/13/09

**6/13/09-**

Oh, God, this is gonna be a short entry, ‘cause I’m laughing _way_ too hard to hold a pen for very long, so I’ll just say one thing.

Chase farts! *dies laughing*


	149. 6/14/09

**6/14/09-**

So, in other news, Chase took me to the past to peep on a younger version of himself!

He tried to dissuade me from the idea, at first, but I’m nothing if not persistent, and so off we went. >=3

Xiaolin-Chase, by the way? _So_ cute and naïve. He actually _did_ the crazy-ass shit his superiors told him to do without complaining, which, now that I think of it, is probably some crappy rite of passage.

*remembers not-so-fondly when I shacked up with the Xiaolin douchebags and they humiliated/treated me like a dog*

…Then again, maybe they were just trying to be jerks to me. It’s not like we were ever on good terms.

Oh, but back to mini-Chase! It was _so_ obvious that he was gonna turn out Heylin, and that’s not even hindsight bias or anything. Dashi, despite being his brother and with ‘his best interests in mind’ was an epic prick to him; made him fill twenty barrels with lake-water using a thimble. I’m sure it was supposed to be some kind of endurance-testing thing, but holy _crap,_ did he not have even the slightest inkling of how people function?

If you want to teach somebody a lesson, you can’t do it by making them do menial labor: that just pisses the person off and makes them hate you and what you’re making them do even more.

Just ask any kid who’s ever gotten in trouble at school and had to write lines saying, “I will not do _____” a hundred times. You don’t end up with a kid who’s sorry for doing _____ and won’t ever do it again, you end up with a kid who has a sore wrist, hates your guts, and now knows that if they want to do _____ again, they have to do it without getting caught.

Seems like that would be basic knowledge, but, no: Dashi decided to _make_ mini-Chase learn the ways of the Xiaolin instead of letting him pick it up on his own terms, soured him to it, and made him ripe pickings for when Bean came along with his offer of Heylin.

Gotta say, I’m glad for it. After all, if Chase hadn’t turned Heylin, he’d have died ages ago. I probably never would’ve gotten interested in evil and lived a life of bitter, pent-up hatred of the human race while freely handing them all of my inventions to make the world a better place.

*shudder*

Even worse than that, I wouldn’t get to be a sexy piece of ass to an even _sexier_ piece of ass, and that’d be a downright shame.

Speaking of sex, though, I can now make the claim that I was fucking Chase before I was even born now that we’ve done it in the past! Gotta wonder how many heads _that_ little phrase will turn at the next gala/public event I’m forced to go to…

Mmmm, anyways, trip back in time was fun, mini-Chase was cute and _obviously_ destined for evil, and sex in another time period is just as awesome in this one.

Seeing that it’s way late and I just woke up to jot down this entry really quick, I think I’m gonna go back to bed for a few hours.

After all, I wouldn’t wanna be tired tomorrow when I totally blow Chase’s mind… >=D


	150. 6/15/09

**6/15/09-**

Yeah, I just totally blew Chase Young’s mind; no big deal. >=3

I’d found this blog all about cupcakes and people who love to make them awhile ago, so I decided to show Chase and presented him with a statement.

That statement was, and I quote, “Look through it, and pick anything you like. I'll make it for you.”

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone scroll through a webpage as fast as he did right then.

Anyways, he picked out a recipe pretty quick, something with the words, ‘Chocolate Bomb’ in it. I wasn’t surprised in the least: if there’s anything Chase loves more than cupcakes, it’s _chocolate_ cupcakes.

After breakfast, we went our separate ways; him to research stuff and do whatever he usually does all day and me to go work on the Tech-Falcon’s Eye and let the cupcakes bake.

Then, while I was working, a Jackbot brought me a letter from NASA. Apparently, they want me to build a lunar probe type thingy, one that’s more efficient than the stuff they’ve already got and maybe something strong enough to analyze other planets; not just the moon.

I wasn’t gonna, at first, but then I thought about it: if the people at NASA are able to analyze other planets and get better data, they might be able to find a planet in some solar system somewhere that can sustain human life. A planet that can sustain human life means a lot of people are going to move there and ruin _that_ planet instead of continuing to ruin this one.

All of that basically adds up to less assholes on this planet to be retarded and piss me off all the time, which I am most definitely _for,_ so I think I’m gonna agree to it.

As I was thinking that, the timer for the cupcakes went off, so I went to go get ‘em and brought ‘em to Chase fresh out of the oven.

He noticed the letter in my hand and asked about it. I told him about NASA and what they wanted me to do, and then he mentioned that he’s always wanted to float around in space.

I can do that; I can do that _easy,_ and let me just say right now that I _want_ to.

Most of the time, I guess I get the feeling that Chase doesn’t…need me. Well, he doesn’t; he’s a grown man and he can handle himself fine without me and I wouldn’t _want_ him to have to rely on me to function, like I’m his mommy or something. What I mean is, he can do just about anything he wants with no involvement from me.

In terms of magical stuff, he can go swimming in a volcano and walk on the bottom of the ocean at depths that would crush any other human if he wanted to, so building him stuff to let him do that is stupid and pointless. Even with regular things, like cupcakes and sex, he can get that from somebody else should the mood strike him.

I’m not _necessary_ for most things in his life, whether it be business or pleasure.

But with _this…_ With space travel, his magic isn’t be able to do it and he can’t just get somebody else to do it for him.

To fulfill this fantasy he has, I am _necessary._ I am the only one in the world he can get this from.

Heh, it’s weird: I’ve been told by hundreds of people from all over the world that I’m unique and that I’m needed because nobody else can do the stuff I do, but it never really sunk in until it came from Chase.

Damn, it feels _good_ to be absolutely necessary to someone (important) for something. =D

I’m gonna make this happen for Chase, definitely. He’s done so much for me, already, and he’s just plain awesome, besides.

He deserves it, and if I’m the guy who can get it for him, then, who am I to say no?

The Tech-Falcon’s Eye can wait a little while. For now, space travel is my top priority!


	151. 6/16/09

**6/16/09-**

I decided to check in with Frankie, today, seeing as I haven’t seen him since the wake and I wanted to know if he was going to be at the funeral tomorrow.

That, and I wanted to know if he knew why the funeral was taking so long to happen.

As it stands, he is going and apparently, the organization of things was taking so long because of security issues.

Basically, the people planning the funeral want to keep me and my dad as _far_ away from each other as possible in the event that we manage to piss each other off, again.

I’ve put in a word to the funeral planners letting ‘em know I want a front row seat just so they’ll put dad in the very back row. Why is this important?

Dad is an attention whore and would just _love_ to have media coverage of him at his mom’s funeral. Thing is, there’s not gonna be much press attention in the back row, so by sitting in the front, I get to cheat him out of some press time.

I feel this is adequate punishment for his assholitude at the wake last week.

Then, again…maybe I don’t, ‘cause I also went ahead and contacted every female attending the funeral and let them know (in my best, ‘concerned well-wisher’ voice, of course) that my father had a very serious STD and a tendency to charm women into sleeping with him and while I’m _sure_ that they weren’t so loose as to sleep with any random man at a funeral, it would be better if they were warned beforehand.

So, now, he won’t be able to whore himself out to the media _or_ any women there.

My work is done. >=)

Anyways, I communicated with Frankie through a vidscreen for awhile, and found out that Richie’s all stressed from his finals, so to unwind, they’re gonna go to Hong Kong for the weekend to chill out and have fun.

I, on the other hand, don’t have time for fun weekends right now, considering how busy I am with all kinds of stuff.

On one section of my plate, I’ve got the Tech-Falcon’s Eye to work on. On another, I’ve got the little space-exploration project to design for Chase. On yet another, I’ve got the probe NASA wants me to build, but there’s really no hurry on that. Then, I’ve got the whole funeral thing tomorrow, and finally, in a little gravy boat off to the side of my plate, there’s my company that I’m on the verge of having built.

So, yeah, I’ve got some stuff to deal with, but I don’t really mind. I actually like it better when I have a crapload of stuff going on all at once; keeps me busy and from being bored.

Here’s a simple equation I drafted up to describe my relationship to boredom. It’s easy enough that even non-geniuses can understand it:

Me + Boredom = Unpleasant Things Happening to You and Your Loved Ones

I talked to Chase briefly about some of the stuff I’m working on at dinner, but I didn’t mention the funeral tomorrow. I’m not really sure myself if I honestly forgot to or if I subconsciously weeded that out while I was talking.

I dunno, but I guess when I’m around Chase, it doesn’t seem as important. _He_ takes priority over _her_ in my head, which I suppose is how it should be considering that I’m in love with _him_ and _she’s_ dead.

Hmmm… I guess Chase doesn’t really _need_ to know about the funeral. He probably wouldn’t want to go, anyways, so I can just go by myself. If anybody tries to start anything with me, Frankie will be there along with a hell of a lot of news teams to cover it, so y’know…less chance of something being started in the first place.

I’m not gonna lie to Chase about it, though. As of now, it’s just not priority information. I’ll tell him before I leave, at least, so he knows where I’m off to.

Well, either way, I’ve got stuff to do; I’m gonna go do it.


	152. 6/17/09

**6/17/09-**

So, today was…alright.

I was wrong about Chase not wanting to go, though, and he ended up coming with.

He was annoyed that I didn’t tell him sooner than as I was attempting to leave and why in the hell did I not mention it before?, but I think I unintentionally smoothed that over by bringing up the, ‘she didn’t seem important in comparison to you’ thoughts I was having yesterday.

Note to Self for Future: when in the presence of an angry or annoyed Heylin overlord, stroke the ego to avoid punishment or injury; will work just about every time.

I waited the two seconds it took him to magick on some formal wear so he didn’t look out of place and then we ‘ported to the mansion and got into the limo waiting out front (it’d look too suspicious to ‘port directly to the funeral or even closeby and walk out of an alley or something).

On the way, I decided to ask Chase why he _did,_ in fact, want to attend the funeral with me.

Chase: I have two very good reasons, Spicer, the first of which being that the _last_ time I allowed you to go to a public event on your own, you returned to me three weeks later from brain death.

Me: Fair enough. What’s the second reason?

Chase: Your family has undoubtedly the best drama outside of a soap opera or a trailer park, and I should hate to miss out on having a front row seat to it.

Normally, I’d refute that, but…he’s right: drama happened.

Once again, it was dad’s fault, but he actually started it this time instead of just pissing me off to the point that I did. Apparently, he was trying to get laid and all the ladies were avoiding him.

Then, one of them told him _why._

He got _pissed,_ tried to rough me up for interfering with his libido, and all that. I’m proud of myself for not fighting back; it made me look _so_ much better when it aired on the news later.

That’s not to say I got my ass whooped, either: mostly, I just let him grab me by the front and scream obscenities in my face for a minute before he just stopped and turned around.

Imagine his surprise to see a string of flame inches from his head!

Frankie: I’ll core your brain like an apple if you even _try_ to hurt him, _dad._

Dad considered this for a moment, looked back at me and likely noticed I was seconds away from slugging him _into_ the fire, and then looked at Chase behind me and likely noticed that _he_ was seconds away from tearing him to pieces with his bare hands should any harm befall me.

Needless to say, he backed off; boy, I just _love_ hanging around muscular tough guys concerned for my well-being!

Anyways, aside from that, the funeral went ahead according to plan. I would’ve helped carry the casket (she wanted to be buried as opposed to cremated; didn’t want her body to be able to spill on the rug, and she wants to be able to come back in the event of a zombie apocalypse) if I wouldn’t be more of a hindrance at it than help, so it was mostly just some guys from various branches of the family that I’d never even met or didn’t know very well.

Frankie and Chase helped out, too; Frankie because he thought she was pretty cool for an old bat and Chase because…well, I don’t really know _why_ they liked each other at all, but there was some measure of respect between them, I think.

I also found it strangely amusing that Chase could’ve easily taken the weight of the casket all by himself, but pretended to have human limitations on his strength and only carried some of it.

Heh, the things I find funny at funerals…

Now that she’s buried, though, I feel like there’s some…closure for me. It’s over and done with, and I can move on with my life. I don’t have to keep thinking about it, ‘cause that’s _it._

I like that and I _will_ move on with my life. There’s no point dwelling on the dead, and she’d have wanted me to not be a wuss, anyways.

Speaking of moving on, there’s an interstellar project down in the lab calling my name; best get to it!


	153. 6/18/09

**6/18/09-**

Been working on space travel-thingy all day. I’m making good progress, though. In fact, at this rate, I’ll probably be done by Sunday!

*happily returns to work!*


	154. Not Again

**6/19/09-**

  
 **6/20/09-  
**


	155. 6/21/09

**6/21/09-**

Hey, look, it’s Sunday and the project is not finished.

Long story _super_ short, some crazy Bang Baby shit started going down in Frankie’s old town without Richie and his friend to keep watch. Something about the gas being stolen and all the previously-neutralized Bang Babies getting their powers back, including the gang Frankie used to run with. One of ‘em, some crazy water chick who didn’t _want_ to have her powers anymore, came looking for my brother to A) use him to get to me and figure out how to turn her back to normal and B) get busy with him.

Naturally, that didn’t work out so well. Not only is Frankie very much gay and very much in a committed relationship, he also has this phobia of powerful women. If he comes across a female that he’s pretty sure is at or above his level, he will pretty much turn tail and run.

Smart guy, actually. Powerful women can be _scary._ o.o

Anyways, the water chick got followed by the rest of Frankie’s old running buddies, then Chase and I got dragged into it, and then, even the _monks_ showed up…

Put in simple terms, it was quite the clusterfuck.

Eventually, of course, things got wrapped up nice and neat thanks to Chase, who was kind enough to repair Hong Kong after the epic city-destroying battle and even altered the memories of everyone who’d seen it so that nobody would be coming after all of us with millions of questions about the magic/technology/mutation display with dissection knives poised at the ready.

Took a lot out of him, though, and he pretty much passed out after that. I managed to lug him home (all I really had to do was drag him through a Tech-GTC portal and his warriors took him from there and brought him to his bedroom), but not before doing something nasty to the bird chick, Talon, from Frankie’s old gang. She screeched at a supersonic pitch at point-blank range to _my_ everlord’s supersensitive ears.

Normally, I wouldn’t have been so pissed about it, ‘cause Chase can handle just about anything, but I _know_ that fucked him up because he actually threw up because it hurt him so bad.

At the time, I did my best to shoot her full of holes with my laser pistol, but after the fight, after Chase passed out and Talon was about to be carted back off to Dakota, I had some of my Jackbots help me take my own personal revenge.

Talon is now plucked completely bare and her ponytail has been duly shaved off. She looks like a naked chicken-woman. *snicker* I took a couple pictures, so I’ll have to show ‘em to Chase later.

Anyways, sometime after I got Chase home and his cats dragged him to bed, he woke up and decided he wanted a hot bath.

Seeing as how he’d had a pretty hard weekend, I decided he deserved a little pampering. I jerked him off, I sucked him off, I brought him dinner in the tub, I washed him thoroughly, etc.

I was gonna take a nap afterwards (‘cause the weekend wasn’t as rough for me as it was for him, but it still wasn’t a picnic), but then Chase brought up the space-suit thing.

I had to completely pause work on it because of the crap that went down in Hong Kong, but now that I’m not in the middle of that, anymore, I have to get back to it. Can’t keep the Heylin lord waiting _too_ long!

Anyways, I should probably-

Huh. I get the feeling I’m about to be fucked over my work table. I’d best get to clearing it off beforehand.


	156. 6/22/09

**6/22/09-**

Weird. I have, like, _no_ recollection of last night. Last thing I remember was having sex, and then pretty much nothing.

Still, I at least know where I am (Chase’s room) so I probably wasn’t abducted by aliens or something…

Maybe I was just tired and conked out…?

Still am tired, come to think of it. I’m gonna sleep some more, now. G’nite!


	157. 6/23/09

**6/23/09-**

why cant penguins walk on the moon? don’ they hve that technlgy yet? Kwalski must be slippin. wheres my galoshes i need frnch fries dammit

Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket  
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it  
Hieroglyphics, let me be Pacific, I wanna be down in your South Seas  
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean needs "Small Craft Advisory"  
So, if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship

…how hte whizbang dos the rst of it go? Fukkit, walrs just ate pencil lookn for bukkit kookookachoo theend

  
 **6/23/09 (UPDATED)-**

…’kay, next time I’m half asleep and reaching for my journal, Chase needs to stop me, ‘cause seriously…the _fuck_ did I write earlier?

I’m also immensely puzzled that I have a tendency to drop vowels and confuse spellings when sleep-writing, and yet I managed to insert a stanza of lyrics from The Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang with perfect use of spelling and grammar.

Huh.

Alright, well, never mind, it doesn’t matter. I’m awake, finally (apparently, I _did_ just sort of pass out after sex and slept for about a day and a half), I’ve eaten (god _damn,_ does Chase make a good Mac and Cheese!), I’ve guzzled a can of something sugary and caffeiney so I won’t fall asleep again, and I’m thinking I’m adequately hyped up to get back to work.

In one of my many hours of sleep, I had the _perfect_ idea for a spacesuit: one that’s not thick and bulky, but won’t result in freezing or otherwise death in the vacuum of outer space. It’ll have a face mask/visor kinda thing instead of a goofy-looking fishbowl helmet, and I could probably temper the glass to respond to vocal or electronically-sent commands like I did with my goggles.

The best part of it, though? The way the suit’s designed will leave the hair free, meaning I’ll get to see Chase with that gorgeous hair of his floating weightlessly on a background of stars and holy _crap,_ was that a cheesy mental image! XD

Whatever; I’m not gonna keep wasting time talking about the suit when I could be building it!


	158. 6/24/09

**6/24/09-**

Went into space today, no big deal! ;D

So, I finished the suits late last night, went to bed, and then woke Chase up asking if he wanted to take a float around the Earth.

Naturally, the answer was yes. =3

We took my jet up (because I tricked it out to adapt to just about any environment; only thing I haven’t adapted it to yet is lava) and, get this!

Chase was _actually_ kinda nervous about the whole thing.

He didn’t say it out loud, but he didn’t have to; it was obvious. I mean, normally, he’s this uber-confident sort of guy. You can see it in the way he walks and talks, even in the way he just _exists_ in a room.

He’s a Heylin overlord with the _presence_ of one.

Up in space, though, there was a minute or two when he…wasn’t. Like, it was humbling to realize how _infinite_ space is, or something…

It was weird, all told: him being the uncertain one and me totally fine with what was happening.

I didn’t have a problem being up there; I knew we were totally safe. I always have the utmost confidence in the stuff I build (at least now that I have the common sense not to choose quantity over quality and use cheap materials) and I built everything we were using.

It’s the crap other idiots make that I don’t trust.

But, yeah, Chase was a little edgy at first, so I talked to him for awhile about random stuff, y’know, to take his mind off anything specific that might be making him uneasy. Once it sunk in that nothing catastrophic was gonna happen, he loosened up considerably.

He really did look happy when we were up in space. I get the feeling he’s wanted to do that for a long time. It was probably frustrating that his magic could help him do just about anything _but_ space travel and modern technology was a _long_ way from helping him get what he wanted the way he wanted it.

Because of me, Chase Young has finally gotten to float freely in space, and _damn,_ do I feel important because of it; like a spell-checker for the Declaration of Independence or something. XD

Chase says he wants to go back up again tomorrow, which I’m totally for.

I’m wondering if I should tell him or let him find out on his own that the spacesuits I made can transfer _friction…_

We’ll see what happens. >;)


	159. 6/25/09

**6/25/09-**

Dude, I cannot believe it: Michael Jackson is _dead._

I don’t…I mean, I…what can I _say?_ I’m…I’m seriously bummed out by this.

Aside from the tragedy of it (the guy was only 50!), it’s gonna be _years_ before it’s socially acceptable to make pedophile jokes about him again, and that’s a serious downer.

Still, when I first found out, I was devastated. Chase came _right_ to me and comforted me (at least until he realized I was upset over a pop star), which was awesome of him in the extreme to the extent that, after he stormed out of the room disgusted, I went to go make it up to him. ;)

In other news! Chase had requested that I make a spacesuit able to fit his warriors since he wants to share the super-special-awesome joy of space-floating with them (particularly Diol, I think; he seems to be the favorite). That’s been finished and Chase has given indication that he wants to bring the jaguar upstairs with us tomorrow, but…

I think I’m gonna try and convince him to push Diol’s trip back a day or so.

Chase hasn’t yet figured out that space-fondling is a possibility and I’m sure if I gave him more time, he would, but to be honest, I don’t want to wait that long.

I think I’ll just come right out and tell him soon. I want to be dry-humped in space and I want it _now_!


	160. 6/26/09

**6/26/09-**

Goal achieved! =D

Couldn’t have worked out better, actually. I was suiting up, getting ready for the day’s trip; Chase was already wearing his and Diol was waiting for some assistance with his suit (no thumbs, and all).

Chase mentioned how sexy I look dressed for space, how the suit is tight enough to be a second skin, and how he can hardly keep his hands off me long enough for us to land back on Earth.

Me: Why not touch me in space, then?

Chase: …I can?

Me: Sure. I know how the both of us get around each other, so I designed the suits to be fluid-proof and capable of transferring friction. We can’t do anything that’d expose body parts for obvious reasons, but we can do other stuff.

I thought Chase was gonna hurt himself with how broad he smiled right then. He promptly cast an apologetic look at Diol (telepathically saying, I imagine, “Sorry, buddy, hos before bros”) and dragged me into the jet. XD

Today was a good day. <3


	161. 6/27/09

**6/27/09-**

And so, as June draws to a close, I, too, have some stuff to wrap up, namely business relating to my company.

Mostly everything is finalized and ready to be made public and all that, but I want to get in contact with Richie before I hold a press conference.

I don’t really _need_ employees for the most part, ‘cause when _my_ kind of robots are factored into the mix, the kind of robots that have the ability of cognition, humans become easily replaceable. However, there is one aspect that I don’t want to replace with bots, and that’s the think-tank part.

For new, innovative ideas, you can’t turn to a robot into whom everything they know has been programmed: you need people for that.

I know I don’t want a whole _lot_ of people in my think tank seeing as I can hardly stand a handful, but Richie is one of the people I’m considering. There are a few others, some other geniuses scattered around the world who I wouldn’t hate working with, but Richie is the top priority: his IQ is the highest on the planet aside from mine and I already know him, besides.

He’s graduating, tomorrow, and is probably thinking about college, but I think I’m gonna change his mind. After all, who the hell needs college when you’ve got a high prestige job with a six-figure income waiting for you right out of high school?

So, anyways, I’ll ambush Richie sometime tomorrow with that proposition and regardless of whether or not he agrees to it, I’ll go public with Spicer Tech and yadda yadda yadda.

Right now, I think I’m gonna go put the finishing touches on the Tech-Falcon’s Eye and test it out on something or other.


	162. 6/28/09

**6/28/09-**

Hoo-boy, today was eventful!

Item 1: Tech-Falcon’s Eye is finished; works like a dream, probably be ready for mass production and distribution in a week or two.

Item 2: Got ahold of Richie after he received his high school diploma and sweet-talked him into accepting my job offer. It didn’t really take much considering his boyfriend is gonna be the VP of the company and it’s pretty much his dream-job to sit around and think up cool stuff. *snert* Could’ve sworn his jaw made a dent in the floor when I showed him what he’d be making, though! XD

Item 3: Press conference was largely successful aside from getting shot in the face. I laid down some goals, expectations, ground rules, that kind of thing.

The ‘getting shot in the face’ thing played out a little like this:

Reporters: Mr. Spicer, approximately how many new jobs will your company create for the Chinese people?

Me: None.

Reporters: *clamor, clamor, all-around freakout*

Me: Look, I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I consider human beings to be some of the most unapologetically stupid things in the universe. More often than not, they cannot be trusted to do even a simple job correctly without fucking it up at some point. To maximize my business’s efficiency, 97% of jobs will be filled by robots designed and built by yours truly. There will, however, be job openings for anyone willing to be part of a conceptual design team. Genius IQ is mandatory.

Reporters: *dissatisfied mutterings*

Crowd: *dissatisfied murmurings*

Random Whackjob: *whips out a gun and fires directly at me*

In case anybody’s wondering how I’m still alive and not at least in excruciating pain, I had one of those ‘time slows down’ moments right as it was happening. I saw the people around the guy in the crowd back off, I saw the gun being aimed at me, and I felt Chase, who was next to me at the time, tense up and move forward a little.

Lucky for me, I had my matter-shifter on me at the time and my reflexes have gotten quicker ever since I started training with Omi and Chase.

For a split second, just as I was about to have my brains splattered onto the podium, I changed myself into tungsten. The bullet clanked off me and I changed myself back before people could notice what happened.

It’s not like they would’ve noticed, anyways, considering Chase had drawn some attention to himself by tackling, disarming, and restraining the guy. I have little doubt he would’ve killed him if there weren’t cameras and witnesses all over the place, but… *shrugs*

By then, as you would imagine, people were quite soundly freaking out and I am _so_ proud of myself for what happened next.

Reporters: OMG, MR. SPICER, ARE YOU OKAY?!

Me: *stone-faced* Yeah, I’m fine, I had a force field up. Next question.

I was _so_ fucking cool at that moment, and I know I was really fucking cool because I got a veritable crapload of letters and e-mails from nerds all over the world telling me they just about creamed their panties when they saw the incident and that their new goal in life is to become one of my employees.

*sigh* I _love_ my occasional moments of awesome!


	163. 6/29/09

**6/29/09-**

Guh. I hated Kimiko before, but I now have adequate reason to hate her even _more._

Ms. Tohomiko is, unsurprisingly a Twilight fan.

What’s worse, she had the _nerve_ to compare Chase to that sociopathic stalker, Edward Cullen just because he was glittering (glitter lube last night; shenanigans occurred)!

If _that_ weren’t enough, she then tried to argue her case that Twilight is actually a _good_ book with a _beautiful_ romance!

Naturally, I did my best to set her straight with cold, hard logic. I mean, if it’s beautiful and romantic for a guy to take the engine out of her truck just so she can’t leave him or talk to her friends, then give me a tall glass of champagne with Rohypnol in it and drop me off naked at a truck stop somewhere in the Deep South; it’ll be just as romantic and beautiful, I’m sure.

I’m not sure anything I said got through to her, but I did manage to leave her speechless to the point that she lost the Showdown we were having and I walked away with the Wu.

I quoted a physiologist who made the point that, “the reason the books became so popular is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.”

Kimiko froze and just _stared_ at me, mouth agape. I didn’t have the Mind Reader Conch on me, but I could tell what she was thinking: _**I** put myself in Bella’s shoes…_

There were some other gems amongst the conversation, but alas, I cannot remember them because I am laughing too hard at what a ‘tard Kim is!


	164. 6/30/09

**6/30/09-**

Boy, has it been awhile since I’ve seen Finnian!

I guess we’ve both been busy; me with Chase and everything else I’m working on and him with his…erm, boyfriend? I guess…?

But anyways, since Frankie’s moving out of the mansion to be closer to where the Spicer Tech building will be, and because they’re still my pets, Finnian and Negriss have officially moved into the palace.

Fin and I had what Chase assured me was a ‘sickeningly saccharine’ reunion, complete with snuzzles and wordless noises of joy while he and Negriss, the reptiles of the relationships, eyed each other warily.

I know Chase doesn’t trust Negriss because of all the crap he tried to pull awhile ago and I’m not inclined to trust him, either, but I’ve been talking with Fin a little bit; catching up, and he’s assured me that his scaly boyfriend isn’t about to go starting anything.

Not here, at least, and not with Chase. Negriss supposedly knows he is only a Naga and he’s living in a _dragon’s_ home. There are boundaries that are not to be crossed and he’s fully aware of them.

Besides, from what I hear, Finnian’s reptile is just as horny as mine, so as long as we don’t get in the way of their sexing, Negriss probably won’t have any problem with us.

I’m mostly just excited to have my rat back. In fact, I kinda feeling like sharing my excitement.

Wonder if Chase’d like a feast tonight to celebrate Finnian’s homecoming, maybe followed by a post-feast blowjob…? <3

  
 **6/30/09 (UPDATED)** -

Holy crap, June is over! What is this nonsense? Last I checked, it was, like, the first _week_ of June.

Damn, time flies when you’re busy.

Oh, and speaking of busy, I’m _really_ liking what having Fin back home with me is doing to Chase in a roundabout way.

Finnian is in the palace. Consequently, Negriss is also in the palace. Nagas, Negriss included, have a very active sex-drive and so when Negriss is in the presence of Finnian (highly probable at any given time of day), they will more likely than not being getting it on however snakes and rats do. Because they’re having sex, the palace is flooded with all sorts of reptilian hormones and such. Chase, being part reptile, is affected.

To put it simply, Chase is about as horny as he was back when Wuya was slipping him that Viagra-drug and I am _liking_ it.  <3

Admittedly, I was totally out of commission for over an hour today and I’ve gotten _very_ little done, but I gotta say, I am _not_ complaining.

How _could_ I complain?

 _God, it’s so annoying. This super-hot, totally amazing guy just won’t stop wanting to have sex with me. I can’t even feel my legs, anymore, and everything below the waist is just a numb buzz of pleasure. What a jerk, am I right?_

Pfft. As if! XD

Oh, damn, consort sense going off _again_ ; I’m gonna down an energy drink or something and get back to tending my consortial duties. ;)


	165. 7/1/09

**7/1/09-**

It’s only 8:00 AM and yet, Chase and Negriss have had a heated quarrel. Why?

The reptile-hormone thing is cyclical and so neither of them can stop having sex because the scent of two of us getting it on makes the other couple horny to the point that they get it on, which turns on the first couple again, and…

Well, you can see where this is going. XD

However, they have reached a compromise: Chase is gonna use his magic to build Finnian and Negriss a garden type thing separate from the areas he and I usually hang out in.

That way, they can screw like coked-up rabbits as much as they want and we can screw like coked-up rabbits as much as we want, and neither of us will be bothering the other two!

Of course, I’ll still be allowed to visit Fin and he’ll still be allowed to visit me because _we’re_ not the ones causing the positive feedback loop of constant sexing, but Chase and Negriss have kinda decided to stay away from each other.

Probably works out for the best, actually!

Anywho, Chase is making noise about going upstairs with Diol and maybe some other warrior (that I don’t know the name of) again, so I’m gonna go break out the space travel-simulator I made just for this occasion so I can walk Chase through the operation of the jet and he can go up without my help.

I’d go with, but…well, I’ve got some company-related stuff I want to get done (I’d tell you how many people applied for the think tank jobs, but you wouldn’t believe me) and besides, I think he might like to go up on his own without me there or remotely piloting the jet for him. Empowerment and autonomy, that kind of thing.

  
 **7/1/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****FUCK GODDAMMIT MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER FUCK MY LIFE

Have I mentioned before that I hate Hannibal Bean? ‘cause I do. I _really_ fucking do.

Why does he always show up when Chase is gone? No, never mind, don’t answer that: it’s ‘cause if Chase _were_ around when he showed up, there’d be an epic battle and the prickface wouldn’t get anywhere _near_ me.

So. Anyway. I was looking over the applications for Spicer Tech jobs. Wasn’t too difficult ‘cause my bots already went through and weeded out anybody who’d applied with an IQ below genius level. Basically, all I was looking for were geniuses who weren’t boring professor-types. I need creativity in my think tank, not fuddy-duddies.

Cue Asshole McGee’s entrance. No disguises, no gimmicks, no tricks, just…

Bean.

I don’t know why, but that made it even worse than the times he _did_ try to trick me.

Apparently, he’s done trying to seduce me over to his side: he’s going with threats, now.

He said he’d kill Frankie; I told him Frankie wouldn’t die until Hannibal was a refried bean. He told me he was gonna do something nasty to Finnian; I reminded him that he’d be facing a very pissed off Naga if he did, _and_ Fin was just a pet: I’d get over him, eventually. He threatened to ruin my parents; I actually laughed in his face on that one and quipped that he must not watch the news very much, ‘cause I’d welcome that wholeheartedly.

Oddly enough, he didn’t even _mention_ Chase. He probably knows there’s not much he can _really_ do to Chase, anyways.

He did threaten me, though. I won’t even begin to list the awful shit (mostly horrible, sexual things, *shudder*) he swore he was gonna do to me if I didn’t agree to join him, this time.

I told him to go suck a poison dart frog and cram a pineapple up his nonexistent ass.

As you can see from the fact that I’m writing this, he did not, in fact, kill me for that.

He promised that I would regret turning him down again, and then he just _left._

Sweet God, do I hate him. *LOATHES*

I was cool and collected at the time, but _dammit_ if I’m not freaked out, now. What if he _does_ go after Frankie or Finnian? I mean, Frankie could probably hold his own against Bean long enough to call me for backup and Finnian _is_ a pet that I’d eventually get over, but…

Fuck, I _love_ those guys, I don’t want them _dead;_ either of them!

Oh…Chase is home.

  
 **7/1/09 (UPDATED-UPDATED)-**

 ****And, Chase is pissed. That, too.

His warriors told him what’d happened first thing when he got back and, as usual, Chase was not at all happy that Bean had been in his house and had tempted/threatened (sexually!) his minion.

He roared and destroyed things for a bit, and then he grabbed me and dragged me to his room.

It was…weird.

We didn’t have sex and he hardly said a word to me. He just kind of…pinned me to the bed and growled at me if I tried to leave. I’m guessing it’s some dragon-instinct or other; protection of property or something to that effect, ‘cause I’m writing this with him on top of me.

Weird as it is, though, I feel…safer. I know Bean isn’t dumb enough to fuck with me when Chase is around and pissed off to the extent of acting dragony.

It’s late. I’m seriously tired. Sleep-time is now.


	166. 7/2/09

**7/2/09-**

I have obtained the Lotus Twister for study!

I’ve got a lot of plans for this one, so it’ll probably take awhile to finish completely. Unfortunately, said plans involve biological applications, meaning I’m soon going to have to put up with, you guessed it, Katnappé.

Yeah. Feel my overwhelming glee. *eye roll*

I know she played a pretty big part in saving my life and I’m grateful for that. I’m extremely glad that I’m alive right now _and_ still a genius instead of a blithering retard.

There is nothing that says I have to _like_ her, though. X(

Anyways, back to the Lotus Twister: I’m thinking we could study it and figure out how to make people more naturally flexible. People are more flexible, they break bones and sprain things less, so they’ll start living longer.

I know, not really my style, right? Well, hang on, there’s logic in this, I promise.

Increased flexibility will also up the reproduction rates if normally stiff people become more able to get into those kinky or long-held positions, which, together with increased life expectancy, will lead to a population boom at a time when the Earth does not have enough resources to handle it.

That’ll be about the time when I’ll publicly suggest colonizing another planet. I could help them make it happen, and a bunch of people will be off on their merry way off the Earth and _far_ away from me.

I realize not everyone would leave, but I imagine quite a few would be interested in planet-hopping due to a deep-seated love for sci-fi fantasy stuff that the majority of the population has.

Fewer people on the planet I’m on, less pollution, more resources, jobs, and money to go around…

Maybe that’ll stop the bitching for five fucking minutes, eh?

Anywho, I’m not up to calling on Katnappé just yet, so I’m gonna take some basic data on the Lotus Twister; analyze its physical and mystical properties and all that jazz.

…And then, maybe I’ll hijack it for a _really_ flexible evening with Chase!  >=3


	167. 7/3/09

**7/3/09-**

Today was mildly amusing.

At one point, I was talking to Chase about the to-be Tech-Lotus Twister and working with Katnappé, and this happened:

Chase: I forbid you to use that collar on her again.

Me: What?! But how else am I supposed to keep her from being stupid?

Chase: That’s not for me to worry about. It was part of the deal to rescue you from brain-death that if you lived and Katnappé failed to throw in any nasty surprises that might impede your full recovery, the shock-collar would not be put on her again.

Me: Can’t I do it, anyway?

Chase: No. I am a man of my word and I _gave_ my word: no collar.

Me: _You_ gave your word; I didn’t. So, really, this doesn’t apply to you.

Chase: It does apply to me as you are my minion. In a case such as this, you are an extension of myself and anything you do reflects upon me.

Me: …fuck, _please_ lemme use it! I don’t think I could stand having to listen to her talk!

Chase: Are you not even _remotely_ grateful to her? She saved your _life,_ Spicer.

Me: Why should that have any meaning to me? She’s still a total bitch and I _still_ don’t like her, regardless of what she did for me.

Chase: *grins* That sounds very evil, Jack. Could it be that I’m rubbing off on you?

Jack: No, I’m just a self-centered bastard that hates creepy cat-people.

Chase: LOL!

After that, the ‘rubbing off on me’ comment led to _actual_ rubbing off on me, which was awesome, but Chase was very clear on the issue: I am very much not allowed to put the shock-collar on Katnappé again, no matter _how_ much she pisses me off.

Meh. I’ll just have to get creative with how I _do_ keep her in line.  >=D


	168. 7/4/09

**7/4/09-**

It’s the Fourth of July! Yay, America, fuck everybody else (never mind the fact that I live in China)! XD

Seriously, though, I’m not patriotic. Not for America, China, India, Austria, hell, not even Canada.

I’m just not the nationalist type of person, I guess.

But there is _something_ I can get behind about Independence Day and it’s the only reason I celebrate it: there really aren’t _enough_ special occasions on which it is socially-acceptable to blow shit up.

I was _going_ to contact Katnappé, today, and get the whole Tech-Lotus Twister thing started (I’ve taken as many basic analyses as I _can_ ), but now that I have recalled the special occasion today is…

Well, I’ve managed to hastily plan an extremely private Fourth of July event for Chase and I once the sun goes down. Some of the explosions in the sky will be from standard fireworks.

Others will be from a specially-designed rocket-launcher. I may even let Chase give it a try if all goes well! >=D

*is off to go round up more components that make _awesome_ colors upon bursting into flames!*


	169. 7/5/09

**7/5/09-**

Katnappé came over today and contrary to what one might expect, I am in an _epic_ mood!

To start back at the beginning, I called her this morning and explained the situation (“Working on technologically replicating the Lotus Twister, need help with the bio stuff, get your furry ass over here”).

She came over dressed like she was meeting her fiancé’s parents for the first time: blouse, skirt, heels, and even a matching hat to cover up the cat-ears.

Naturally, I was weirded out and called her on her attire, but she just _would not_ take any bait. She was polite and quiet and demure, even when I tried to poke her into arguing with me.

I wondered for a minute if she might be trying to look pretty for Chase or something, but she hardly _glanced_ at him when she first got in the door and she didn’t leave the lab for any longer than a couple two-minute bathroom breaks once we got down there and started working.

Again, kinda creepy at first, but I dealt with it and I managed to catch her up on all the data I’d already taken and the sort of stuff I was thinking about doing with the Lotus Twister.

Once that was totally done, it was kinda late, so Katnappé went home and I was still sitting around with _no idea_ what was up with her.

And then, I started flipping through another stack of Spicer Tech think tank applications to pass the time and all became _quite_ clear.

The first application in the stack, sent in just last night, had a picture of a young blond woman on it with the name Ashley Rockow beside it.

Yes, that’s right: _Katnappé_ applied for a job at _my_ company.

It now makes sense why she dressed up all pretty today and was _extra_ polite to me, even going so far as to avoid her usual flirting with Chase just to get on my good side: she’s worried I won’t give her the job. XD

She has every right to be worried, actually. Not only do I not like her, but her résumé is less than impressive. She doesn’t have any prior job-experience, she dropped out of high school, and her IQ only _just_ qualifies her for the job, by two points.

Now, I’m kind of a snoop and so I already know that she’s a perfectly capable employee, self-educated to the point of two or three college degrees in her field should she want to receive them, and we’re able to work relatively well together despite the fact that I’m smarter than her.

But she doesn’t know I know that and it’s certainly not on her application. To any other employer of my caliber, she would _not_ be the ideal choice.

I could easily hold this over her head. I mean, she obviously wants or needs the job if she was actually _nice_ to me in the hopes of getting it.

I see this working out one of three ways:

1) I tell her up front that I’m not hiring her. She turns back into a total bitch around me and makes the rest of this Lotus Twister project either extremely difficult or straight up refuses to work with me on it.

2) I drag it out and tell her nothing of my decision so that the project gets wrapped up as quickly and efficiently as possible. Then, I tell her she’s not getting the job and she likely becomes extremely pissed off at me to the point that she never works with me again after this, but the Tech-Lotus Twister will be completely finished and I _probably_ won’t need her for anything ever again.

3) I hire her despite the fact that there are applicants smarter and with better résumés than her, thereby eliminating the need for her to impress me, but implementing the need to be respectful around me and avoid pissing me off for an extended period of time (extending specifically _past_ the Lotus Twister project) lest I feel it appropriate to fire her.

I’m thinking #3 is the most ideal of the choices. That way, I get to manipulate her even longer and better than I did with the shock-collar! >=D

Hot damn, do I feel evil right now! Wonder if Chase is still up to share in all this wicked glee with me…


	170. 7/6/09

**7/6/09-**

Sweet Vin Diesel Jesus, this is working out well! Why didn’t I think to do this before?

Had Katnappé over again today, but we didn’t get much work done in terms of the Tech-Lotus Twister.

We mostly discussed her employment and the terms thereof.

I let her know, first and foremost, that I’m accepting her application and hiring her on to which she thanked me profusely, saying that she _really_ needed the extra income because her funds were a little tight and she’d been wanting to have some procedures done; some dental stuff to make her teeth more feline and then some sort of uterine/ovarian surgery to implement a bimonthly heat to make her more like a real queen.

You can imagine I stopped her there; I _really_ did not need to hear anything about that and no amount of brain-bleach will remove that information from my mind. XP

Anyways, after that, I talked to her a little bit about the job description itself and what would be expected of her on any given day. It’s basically just to be creative, think of stuff nobody has done before or stuff someone _has_ done before but find a way to make it better, and then figure out how to manufacture and market it.

It’s really a cake-job if you’re smart enough, which is why I set an IQ-restriction on the applicants in the first place: I don’t want anybody working for me that will _struggle_ with that job. I _want_ it to come easy so that things will get done quicker and better.

So, that out of the way, I went over some of the boring stuff like her salary, the work hours, health benefits and the dental plan (unnecessary treatments aren’t covered, so she’ll have to pay for the work she wants done out of her own salary), all that.

And then, I laid down some ground rules.

Katnappé has been informed that fireable offenses include but are not limited to: excessively cat-related speech, embezzling company money, damage or theft of company property or ideas, bragging of sexual conquests regarding Heylin everlords of any kind, blackmail, seduction of the boss’ family and loved ones, bringing anything cat-related (including cats) into work, and any insulting, demeaning, or otherwise pissing off of the boss.

Oh, the _look_ on her face when she realized I was not even _remotely_ going to go easy on her but that she _couldn’t_ refuse the job ‘cause she ‘needed’ it…

I had a Jackbot secretly sneak a picture and I’ve been laughing at it all night! >=3

*has _such_ an evil, right now!*


	171. 7/7/09

**7/7/09-**

In my joy that I have Katnappé wrapped neatly around my finger while still remaining within my master’s orders not to use the shock-collar, I have neglected to notice the somewhat dour mood Chase has been in.

Normally, I’d feel like a bad consort for not noticing sooner, but I haven’t been neglecting my duties (my active libido can attest to that, thank you) and it’s a more of a subtle mood than I’m used to.

When _I’ve_ seen Chase angry about something, he’s usually flat-out _pissed_ and will likely latch onto the nearest living thing and choke the life out of it if he doesn’t decide to postpone the pain and suffering for an extended period of time in that very evil, very awesome way of his.

This is definitely not that kind of angry. If anything, the guy’s just a little cranky.

To be completely fair, I’d be a little cranky, too, were I in his shoes.

Apparently, these people, the Uyghurs live on the outskirts of Chase’s territory and have to pay Chase to be allowed to move around safely. Standard ‘puny mortals’-‘Heylin overlord’ deal, didn’t bat an eyelash hearing about it.

Now, though, some sort of riot has broken out, people are getting killed left and right, and the Uyghurs are getting uppity.

According to them, Chase owes it to them to help them out: they paid him a _tithe!_

That’s a really ignorant thing to say, isn’t it?

It’s like paying a landlord rent for an apartment, spilling soup on the carpet, and then telling your landlord he has to pay to replace it.

What. The. Fuck? X|

I perfectly get why Chase is annoyed over this. He’s already told them, no ifs, ands, or buts, that they paid him to be able to move safely on his land and that if they want him to intervene in a battle on their behalf, it’s going to cost extra.

He told me the amount he’s specified as ‘extra,’ and I know right off the bat these Uyghurs can’t afford it. The only people in the world who can afford it are entire nations that are particularly wealthy and me (it’s about 3/4ths of my entire fortune).

What’s funny about it is that for the only groups that can afford to pay Chase to fight on their behalf, the whole thing becomes a moot point: Chase has a strict policy about not getting involved in the wars of various countries unless _seriously_ bored and I, as his minion, am fought for as a matter of honor, totally free of charge.

Still, I can tell Chase is still irritated by the whole thing (he really _does_ hate it when other people try to tell him what to do; see Pedrosa), so I’ve decided not to bring Katnappé over to work today.

My overlord is infinitely more important than a freaky cat-bitch and the trillions of dollars I’ll be making with our project, after all.

I’m gonna be in super-extra-good-consort-mode today just for him: I’ve got cupcakes in the oven, several tubes of cookie dough in the fridge, various plans for various pampering throughout the day, and of course, the unspoken promise of sex when, where, and how he wants it.

If today doesn’t soothe him out of his funk even a teensy bit, then I fear for the world that has such an uptight dragonlord in it.

…wait a minute, no I don’t. I hate the world! XD


	172. 7/8/09

**7/8/09-**

Finnian and Negriss wandered out of the garden area today, Fin to hole up in my room all day and Negriss to hole up wherever Chase is all day.

I tried to talk to Fin to see what was up, but even he didn’t really seem to know. All he told me was that Negriss said he felt something and _insisted_ upon speaking with Chase. Finnian said he _might’ve_ felt it, too, but he didn’t know what it was; only that he was far away enough to be safe. From what, again, he has no clue.

So, basically, here I am in my room, watching the news with a rat in my lap and trying to figure out what the _hell_ could be going on that has the palace reptiles with their panties in a bunch.

So far…? No luck. I guess us mammals will find out later, if at all.


	173. 7/9/09

**7/9/09-**

Dude…earthquake.

That explains what was up with Fin and Negriss yesterday.

A Wu went active this morning, something with a really long, pointless name that means something like, “to grow plants with the blessings of a god.”

I have begun referring to it as, “the plant Wu thing,” which Chase has assured me most people do because its actual name is too much of a mouthful. He then proceeded to tell me that it was named by a master monk who was extremely full of himself back in the day and that was why it’d been named that. A squinty-looking lion behind him proceeded to growl and Chase succinctly told him to shut up, he _knew_ how pompous he’d been back then.

Naturally, I was amused by that little exchange! XD

But anyways, Chase and I went to get the thing and teleported to the Yunnan Province. The monks, naturally, were there mere seconds after we showed up.

This is where the thing with Negriss from yesterday comes in.

Apparently, he’d sensed an earthquake in the general area where the Shen Gong Wu was gonna go active and warned Chase about it ahead of time. It was supposed to be a mild earthquake, only a 3.0 tops on the moment magnitude scale, but because Chase was graciously allowing Negriss and his lover to stay on with him, he felt it was owed to at least give him a heads up.

Now, apparently, and I didn’t know this seeing as I don’t control an element, when you have that deep a tie with a force of nature, you’re affected by it when stuff starts happening with your element in real life.

At least now I know why Chase is always in such a good mood when a volcano erupts somewhere, and it’s not just because people are endangered by it.

Anyways, Chase _did_ know this and when Negriss told him about the small earthquake that was going to be happening, it was decided that chances were not to be taken at the actual Showdown, today.

I’m really glad for that foresight.

As soon as we got there and saw the monks show up, we grabbed the Wu and teleported back home _quickly._ In the split-second before we disappeared, I saw Clay, calm, relaxed, easy-going Clay _glare_ at us like we’d gang-banged his lesbo-sister and hit his mother in the face with a wiffle ball bat.

Then, we were gone and I saw on the news later that Yunnan had been hit by a 5.7 earthquake, millions of dollars in damage done, several hundred people injured, and even a death amongst it all.

Naturally, I had no idea what’d happened, so I asked Chase about it.

Apparently, the geographical upset caused by the nearby earthquake agitated Clay on that deep, spiritual level one has when being in command of an element and made him more short-tempered and violent than usual. Chase had assumed (rightly so) that his temporary-hair-trigger would be set off by the fact that us Heylin won the Wu before the Xiaolin could even get to it and had figured something nasty would happen that he didn’t care to deal with should we have stayed any longer than necessary.

He was most definitely right about that. o.o

I hear Clay’s in serious remorse about what happened. Like, completely crippling grief. Guan won’t even punish him for it; says the guilt is punishment enough.

Omi heard about it through the grapevine and he’s been pacing around the palace all day. I guess he’s worried about Clay or something. He’s been begging at me for the past couple of hours to put in a good word with Chase to let him go to the temple for just one hour, but I’m not about to suggest something that stupid.

If Chase lets Omi go over there, the Xiaolin hypocrites won’t let him go again without a fight, even though Chase won the little doofus fair and square. It’ll be a whole big confrontation that nobody’s in the mood for right now, so Omi’s just gonna have to suck it up and get it through his head that he is _not_ a monk anymore and he can’t just go dropping in on his old friends for a visit whenever he wants.

Man, he’s starting to get annoying, though. Maybe I _should_ put in a word with Chase; not to let Omi go see Clay, but to give Omi some sort of menial task that’ll keep him occupied and _away_ from me for ten minutes!


	174. 7/10/09

**7/10/09-**

Oh, lordy, today was a _long_ day. XP

I’m not even sure how to begin describing the hell that today was, but here I fucking go.

Chase decided to let Omi write a letter to Clay instead of arranging any form of visiting, which was the safest bet in terms of preventing a conflict. Omi wrote the letter and gave it to Chase.

For some reason that I cannot even begin to fathom, Chase then passed it off to me and told me to deliver it.

Things went downhill from there _very_ quickly.

I showed up at the temple, fully intending to drop the letter off and go, but Kim and Rai attacked me immediately, assuming I was there to do something evil.

I want to fault them for that, but in any other situation, they’d have been right. I’ll just have to be pissed that they didn’t even wait to see what ‘evil’ I was up to before attacking me.

So, anyways, I explained what I was there for, showed them Omi’s letter as proof, and then demanded to see Clay so I could give him the damn thing and leave.

I’d have passed it off to either Pedrosa or Kimiko, but I don’t trust them and it wouldn’t be doing my Chase-given duty to just pass it off to someone else and _assume_ it got where it was supposed to go.

Yeah, I’m thinking that was the biggest mistake of my life. X|

I was led to Clay’s room, where he’d been moping since the quake, handed him the letter and went to leave.

He didn’t let me.

The guy made me stay while he read the letter and then, he just started… _talking_ to me. *shudder*

Clay: How d'you stand it, pardner? Doin'...doin' bad things you don' really wanna do?

Me: ...WTF are you talking about?

Clay: Y'know, ya’ act all evil, but yer really a good kid deep down. How d’you live with the mean stuff you do?

Jack: ...I enjoy it very much, actually. Can I go, now?

The answer to that was a resounding no. Clay just sort of glommed onto me and started talking about all sorts of emotional trauma and how he was feeling and URGH.

By the time I finally managed to slink away, he was sobbing about his old dog from when he was three, Binky, and how his mom had told him Binky ran away, but he didn’t run away, he died of a bone disorder and was buried in the backyard, and boo-hoo-hoo!

As you can imagine, I was about ready to bang my head against a wall with skull-cracking force to the point that I bled out and died and would not ever have to hear a big, crying cowboy have a nervous breakdown again.

Things did not improve much when I got back to the palace.

Omi immediately latched onto my pant leg and started ranting about how _great_ a friend I was and how I was totally the best for helping him contact his friend, blah, blah, blah.

I was in no mood to be clung to again, so I promptly kicked him off (the thump when he slid into a wall was very satisfying, I assure you) and demanded of Chase to know why he hadn’t _saved me._

I’m not sure if he even _tried_ to answer through how hard he was laughing.

I’m kinda pissed off right now, so I pretty much went straight to my room and have begun blasting heavy metal about extremely violent murder at about a billion and five decibels. It helps me relax, oddly enough.

Still, I am _not_ in a good mood where Chase is concerned. _He_ sent me into that, _he_ essentially left me to die there, and he is _laughing_ about it; after how fucking good I was to him about the Uyghurs-thing, no less!

Grah. I think I need to round up some barrels of gas and ignite them in a fiery explosion of rage. Not like anybody’s gonna _really_ need it for fuel, anymore, and I could sure as hell get some use out of it.


	175. 7/11/09

**7/11/09-**

Okay, so…rage has subsided.

I’m not sure _what_ prompted it, as normally Chase would just wait out my sulking over something like this, but he decided to make yesterday up to me.

I guess even _he_ acknowledged that it’s total crap to get hijacked by a hysterically sobbing monk for several hours.

He woke me up this morning with a full-body massage (and yes, I mean _full-_ body, happy ending included). He explained that his amusement at my plight had been uncalled for after how good I’d been to him when he was annoyed with the Uyghurs and that he would prefer to make things right between us so that our master-consort relationship remains undamaged.

I was inclined to be snotty about it and say something like, “It’s about goddamn time,” but that would’ve been stupid.

Chase was actually making an effort to apologize for leaving me high and dry yesterday, something he does not normally do.

I’d have to be dumber than a rock to reject that.

Chase was definitely good to me today, though. We went out to a bunch of places, some of which were a few ludicrously high-end stores in order to supplement my wardrobe.

I _needed_ some new clothes, after all, considering that I’m now the CEO of my own company. Chase was a big help with that: he’s an accurate judge of style and can easily let me know what I look classy, stylish, and brilliant in while also managing to exude sex.

There were a few times when Chase didn’t say anything at all about something I was trying on and just dragged me into the changing room and had his way with me.

Needless to say, those were the outfits I bought. ;D

After that, we went back to the palace for a sort of Movie Night. I’m not sure _how_ Chase figured out what some of my favorite movies were, but he did and we watched a whole bunch of them with plenty of popcorn and beer.

We were about halfway through The Mummy, Chase on his third beer of the night and me just cracking open my seventh, when he finally asked me how the _hell_ I’d built up such a tolerance for alcohol seeing as I was only eighteen.

I’m honestly surprised it took him so long to ask, or that he even asked at all and didn’t go snooping around in my journal or my past for the answers he wanted. I’ve _seen_ the looks he gives me whenever alcohol is involved in a situation and I _know_ he’s always wondered about that.

I told him what he probably already figured: I was young, my parents were never around, and Mommy never put a lock on her liquor cabinet, so I started experimenting with booze early. I’m not a drunk and I’m not a lush; I decided after a while that alcohol was alright to relax with, but overdoing it _sucked._

So, basically, all that really happened is that I’ve got a pretty high tolerance for liquor (which comes in handy) and my childhood got a little more fucked up.

Chase snorted and said something about how my parents truly were despicable examples of such and should’ve paid more attention to me.

I told him honestly that I was glad they didn’t.

If mom and dad paid attention to me when I was younger, I might’ve actually grown up normal. No genius, no robots, no Showdowns, no multitrillion dollar company, no _anything._

Most importantly, if I’d never gotten sucked into the whole Shen Gong Wu thing (because I never would’ve met Wuya if I had a normal upbringing), I’d never have met Chase. I would’ve never gotten the chance to be consort to the Great and Mighty Chase Young, and _that_ would’ve been awful.

I’m glad my parents never paid any attention to me, because if they did, then I wouldn’t have an awesome master cool enough to hang out with me all day and pay more attention to me than they ever did.

After that, we sort of stopped watching movies, if you catch my drift, and I’m definitely tired from Not Watching Movies all night, so I’m off to bed.


	176. 7/12/09

**7/12/09-**

Awesome: today had it.

I’ve already done my mourning, but, as I mentioned a few entries ago, Michael Jackson died. His service was held on the 7th and I _would_ have commemorated it in some way, but Chase was being moody that day and then after that, things kept coming up.

No such things came up today, however, and so I was finally able to stage my very own production of Thriller, complete with special effects and a platoon of backup dancers (half programmed to do it and half bribed copiously with catnip, if you catch my drift). ;P

The look on Chase’s face when he stumbled onto the scene? _Priceless!_ XD


	177. 7/13/09

**7/13/09-**

Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, etc.

Nothing of interest is happening, today. Therefore, I have become bored, as if the first sentence of this entry didn’t give it away.

Bah. I’m gonna go screw something up and see if that helps my mood, any.

  
 **7/13/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****Ha! Mood _totally_ better!

Okay, so, I wanted to go mess with the monks, ‘cause that usually helps me overcome boredom, and I was about to just head over there and stir up whatever trouble I could think of on the spot.

Then, I remembered something Chase had said a couple of days ago: that I was his minion and my actions reflected on him.

I decided if I was gonna fuck with the monks, I had to make it something _particularly_ nasty so as not to reflect poorly upon my master, the Prince of Darkness.

Unfortunately, I was having some trouble thinking up stuff Chase might approve of, so, I decided to subtly pick Chase’s brain for ideas.

It wasn’t too hard to get those ideas seeing as he was distracted: I’d made him a batch of cupcakes for the sole purpose of distracting him somewhat, _and_ he was attempting to deal with the Uyghur situation at the time (apparently, they’ve realized how stupid they were in refusing to pay Chase for protection and are now attempting to reinstate their deal; pfft!).

Either way, he wasn’t paying too much attention to me and the kind of stuff I was asking him; he was kind of on autopilot and answered everything I asked, so I quickly stopped being subtle and determined exactly the sort of things he deemed suitable for screwing with the monks.

I then left him to his own devices (he’s a very busy everlord, after all) and went for an afternoon of joyously awesome prank-pulling.

By the time I got back home and Chase asked me where I’d been, I happily dragged him over to the Eye Spy Orb and had him bring up Guan’s temple.

We were both laughing our asses off for hours watching the assorted chaos and I think it’s safe to say that I’ve cheered Chase out of yet another sour, humanity-induced mood! ;D


	178. 7/14/09

**7/14/09-**

I called Katnappé this morning and asked her if she wanted to work on the Tech-Lotus Twister today.

Before saying anything, she asked me if a bold-faced lie were a fireable offense. I don’t consider it one in most cases, but I wanted to see where she was going with it, so I said it was.

She then proceeded to tell me that honestly, she was in _no_ mood for inventing, today, and would rather just hang around the house and do nothing.

Relieved, I replied, “Oh, thank god, it’s not just me,” and then hung up the phone.

I take great pleasure in the fact that ordinarily, Katnappé would have called right back and told me off about how rude hanging up without saying goodbye was rather than just accepting it ‘cause I’m her boss.

I _was_ in a very, ‘fuck inventing’ mood today, though, ‘cause I didn’t go down to the lab once. I mostly just hung around upstairs and did random stuff.

At one point, I decided I wanted pizza _and_ to be evil at the same time, so I called a place and ordered twenty pizzas with varying toppings A) so Chase could have some if he wanted and B) because the only thing better than pizza is leftover pizza.

Anyways, I had the pizza sent to the mansion and just sort of waited there for awhile when my bots alerted me that the delivery guy showed up.

I’d had some Jackbots install an obstacle course all up the walkway to the house just to screw with the guy and by the time he finally got to the door and handed over the pizza, I handily pointed out that it’d taken him forty-five minutes to bring me my order and according to company policy, because forty-five minutes is longer than the thirty that was promised, all twenty pizzas were free of charge, but thanks for bringing ‘em, anyway.

The look on that poor bastard’s face when I shut the door in his face without even tipping him… _epic!_

Afterwards, I brought the pizza back to the palace, which quickly drew Chase out of wherever he’d been hiding all day to munch on the six-meat-loaded pizzas I’d gotten specifically for him.

We sat around for awhile just doing a little catching up on our issues: his deal with the Uyghurs and my work with the Tech-Lotus Twister.

Chase let me know that he’s reached a formal decision and that he is permanently done with the Uyghurs and their crap ‘cause they’re too much of a headache and because of them and their nonsense, he’s barely fucked me three times a day.

At the same time, I briefed Chase on the stuff that’s happening with Katnappé and the Lotus Twister, ‘cause even though I’d told him, he was busy with other stuff and so I didn’t give him full details.

He is now aware that the Tech-Lotus Twister is probably going to take quite some time to get finished because of how delicate the procedure is gonna be and all that. He also has been updated on how I’m faring with the bitch now that I can’t use the shock collar and he’s complimented me on the way in which I’m manipulating her, instead.

In addition to the first two things, he puked in his mouth a little bit, too, when I shared that horrible tidbit of information Katnappé told me about the procedure she wants to get done.

It was probably unnecessary to tell him about it, but I’m naturally selfish: if _my_ brain has to suffer the horror, somebody _else’s_ brain has to suffer it, too.

Although, now, I guess I should probably be looking into brain-bleach for the both of us! XD


	179. 7/15/09

**7/15/09-**

I have decided that I am no longer taking applications for the Spicer Tech think tank jobs.

After rifling through a few thousand of them, I’ve picked out twelve people I think I’ll be able to work well with (Richie, Katnappé, and ten other lucky geniuses from all over the place).

Sometime in the next couple of days, I’ll be inviting all of them to the new Spicer Tech building to give them the grand tour Wonka-style, only y’know, without the crazy boat ride and the oompa loompas.

For now, though, I decided to hold a press conference to announce my choices and to let people know that they shouldn’t waste their time sending in their résumés after this point, ‘cause they’re just going to be burned or otherwise discarded.

Things were going well up to one point.

Reporters: All that stuff about your company is great and all, Mr. Spicer, but what do you have to say about the Caspian crash in Iran?

Me: …the what about Narnia, now?

Chase: *tells me briefly that they’re referring to a Caspian Airlines plane crashing in Iran and killing the some-170 passengers aboard*

Me: Really? When did _that_ happen?

Chase: Today.

Me: Today?! *turns back to reporters* You’re really asking me how I feel about breaking news? _Really?_ A lot of people haven’t even heard about this thing yet ‘cause it _just_ happened, and you’re asking _me_ about it?

Reporters: …yeah…?

Me: You’re fucktarded. I barely keep up on current events because I have better things to do than watch the news 24/7, and you’re here asking me… No. Never mind. I’m a super-genius and one of the richest men on the planet and I reserve the right to be a prima donna. Press conference over!

People are so stupid, sometimes. I hate them, I really do.

But, on the bright side, I spent the whole rest of the day with Chase, and 94% of that time in his bed, so y’know…silver lining, and all that! *wink*


	180. 7/16/09

**7/16/09-**

Y’know what’s weird? Being a certified genius and thinking you know just about everything there is to know, and then learning something new.

So, I had Katnappé over today and we worked a little bit on the potential directions the Lotus Twister thing could go, and we eventually got onto the subject of carnivores, herbivores, omnivores, all that stuff.

I only have a basic understanding of biology: I know the vocabulary and I can hold a pretty intelligent conversation with someone about it up to a point, but when it gets right down into the technical stuff, my brain just doesn’t wanna work with me on it. It knows the Unspoken Scientist’s Code, I suppose.

 _Not my field, not my problem._

Us brainiac-types like to stick with what we’re good at and when the need arises for something to be done outside our comfort zone, we call up somebody who’s good at it ‘cause _we_ certainly aren’t going to mess around with unfamiliar shit.

Katnappé’s not any more likely to be caught tinkering around with robotics anymore than I’m likely to be caught screwing around with biochemicals, so in acknowledgment of that, we try not to point out each others' ignorances too blatantly lest one of us get pissed off by being made to feel stupid.

But yeah, anywho, we were talking, and she mentioned detritivores.

I guess I skipped the lesson that day, ‘cause I didn’t know what they were. She must’ve realized that I didn’t know what she was talking about, though, because she was kind enough to explain it to me.

Katnappé: Detritivores are things that eat detritus.

Me: *blink, blink*

Katnappé: Y’know, dead animals, dead plants, fecal matter-

Me: O.O There’s a _word_ for things that eat crap?!

Katnappé: …Yeah…

Me: AWESOME.

‘Detritivore’ is now my new favorite insult, ‘cause I can call people shit-eaters and all they’ll do is give me a blank stare. XD


	181. 7/17/09

**7/17/09-**

I just realized something today and am actually kind of startled by it.

I’m taller than Chase. o.0

Yeah, I’m not sure _when_ exactly this happened, and it’s not by too much, but I am officially a few centimeters taller than my overlord.

It’s weird, but I guess at some point, the tall genes that run in my dad’s side of the family must’ve gotten off their asses and slapped some extra height on me. I wondered why neither Chase or I noticed the growth spurt until now, but then, I realized just how little time I spend standing at the same time Chase is: one or both of us is either sitting or doing…*ahem* _other_ activities into which height doesn’t really factor.

Chase was actually kinda pissed when he noticed it. A) He has to look up a little to meet my eyes, now, and B) being in my presence in public is supposedly a detriment to his intimidation factor because how many people are going to take him seriously when even his _consort_ stands taller than him?

I explained to him just why it was stupid to get annoyed over the height difference.

First of all, nothing in the physical or intangible worlds will ever be able to make him less intimidating: he’s an eternally young dragonlord and he _exudes_ evil and complete and utter dominance. Around him, mortals and nonmortals alike know that he is _the_ alpha male and that if they fuck with him, they are likely mere seconds away from horrible torture, pain, and death.

Secondly, having a taller consort is a _good_ thing. Some people do occasionally link height with power, but that can work in his favor just as easily as against it. I mean, here I am, rich, famous, a genius, possibly in the Top Five list of the most powerful men in the world, and on top of that, I’m relatively tall. And then, there’s Chase, with the ‘holy crap, evil beast, run for your lives’ vibe he’s got going, and even though it seems to the average Joe that I’ve got more going for me, he’s the one who has me completely wrapped around his finger. If _that_ doesn’t make a statement, I don’t know _what_ does.

And of course, finally, I pointed out that it doesn’t much matter who’s taller than who when we’re both horizontal and then proceeded to prove it. ;D

In any case, I’m off to bake my everlord some cupcakes; maybe that triple-fudge recipe. Chase _does_ love chocolate, after all!


	182. 7/18/09

**7/18/09-**

I’ve been feeling a little weird all day.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened today: I had Katnappé over for a little bit, got a little work done, fucked Chase eight ways to tomorrow (get it? Tomorrow’s Sunday; fucked him eight ways to Sund- ah, never mind), but…

I dunno, it’s just, like, a feeling in the back of my mind. I dunno what it means, ‘cause it’s definitely not my consort sense.

Hmm. Whatever, I guess it must not matter _too_ much if I can’t even figure out what it is.


	183. 7/19/09

**7/19/09-**

Okay, that feeling I was talking about is still there. It’s actually kinda worse, now.

It’s not like a _bad_ -worse, just a…more _prominent_ -worse. Like, I’m more aware of it, now.

I _still_ don’t know what the damn thing is, but I feel like I should be getting ready for something.

I’m not really worried about it, yet. It’s just a little niggling thought, so I can still function normally and nothing worthy of my attention is appearing to prove that the feeling means anything.

I’m gonna go keep myself busy.


	184. 7/20/09

**7/20/09-**

Um, yeah, remember how I said I could still function fine? That’s starting to go away, too.

It’s _weird!_ I dunno why, but all I can think about is building stuff. Not even new or spectacularly innovative stuff, either, just… _stuff._

I’ve been in my lab all _day_ inventing. I’ve made about sixty rocket-launchers, twenty-seven bombs (smoke, stink, incendiary, you _name_ it), thirty-four guns of various types, and about a hundred new Jackbots.

I have no idea what all of it’s supposed to be for, I just feel like it’s gonna come in handy soon. I _need_ it so I’m ready when… _whatever_ the fuck I’m waiting for happens.

Jesus, y’know, I’ve only seen Chase once today, at breakfast? Come to think of it, he didn’t seem like he was all there, either; like his head’s somewhere else, too.

Normally, I’d follow that train of thought further, but I’m derailing it now. I don’t have enough Jackbots, yet. I gotta go make some more.


	185. 7/21/09

**7/21/09-**

Good news and bad news!

Bad News: The feeling has gotten _WAY_ worse and I am still antsy as a hummingbird on speed.

Good News: I finally know _why_ and it is very, Very, _VERY_ good news, indeed.

Everything came together this morning. It was just Chase and I at the table, not saying anything, not eating, just sort of sitting there and picking at the food.

Even though Chase was distracted, too, I guess he must’ve noticed _me_ being distracted, ‘cause he called me out on it.

Chase: You seem distant, Jack. What’s wrong?

Me: ……you feel it, too.

Chase: *cocks eyebrow*

Me: …You _do_ feel it, right? I mean, I know we haven’t seen each other much the past couple of days, but when I did see you, you looked just as restless as I’m feeling.

Chase: *interested look* _You_ feel it?

Me: Yeah. I have no fucking clue what it _is,_ but yeah, I feel it. I feel like…something’s gonna happen soon. Something… _good._

Chase then proceeded to give me the most wickedly pleased smile I have _ever_ seen on his face and extended a formal congratulations to me for well and truly entering into the Heylin ranks.

Apparently, there’s going to be an eclipse tomorrow, a very _special_ eclipse that the Heylin have been waiting _decades_ for.

Y’know how usually when there’s an eclipse, everybody who’s Heylin gets weaker? Well, this time, it’s the opposite: the Xiaolin are gonna be the ones to lose their powers and be totally vulnerable to anybody with a bone to pick.

The Retard Brigade has made a lot of enemies and tomorrow, I get the feeling they’re gonna pay for it _bad._

Still, the really cool part is that I could _feel_ the eclipse coming. According to Chase, you can only _feel_ these things if you’re actually in the conflict and on one side or the other.

The last power-shifting eclipse that happened, I didn’t feel it nor was I affected in the least because even though I _really_ wanted to be, I wasn’t fully Heylin. I wasn’t Xiaolin, either, but I was just sort of…there, back then. I had the inclination towards evil, but I wasn’t there yet.

Now, I am. Thanks to a combination of my own maturation and Chase’s tutoring, I am officially full-fledged Heylin!

I’m glad I spent yesterday building weaponry, ‘cause now I feel adequately prepared for my first official fight with the monks as a _real_ Heylin.

 _Awesome._ >=D


	186. 7/22/09

**7/22/09-**

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOMGHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I am _so_ high on victory right now, I should be _shot!_ XD

The eclipse came. The eclipse went.

Absolute chaos happened somewhere in the middle. >=)

Everybody that calls themselves Heylin was there, fully intending on giving the monks back a little of what they’ve been giving for a long time. Wuya, Hannibal, and Katnappé showed up, and I even saw a lot of two-bit players that I haven’t seen in awhile nor did I have any wish to see them ever again (Tubbimura, Panda Bubba, Le Mime, etc).

It was so messed up, I barely even remember everything that happened.

All I know is that I was a fucking _dynamo_ today; I was so _on!_ >=D

In the six minutes and thirty-nine seconds during which all hell was breaking loose on the Xiaolin temple, the following pros and cons occurred (cons will be listed first so I can end on a happy note! *wink*).

Cons:

Hannibal was creepy at me, but he was creepy at everyone else, too and is usually creepy at people 24/7, so I didn’t take it too personally.

I got hit on by nearly every Heylin there: apparently, I am dead sexy when causing mayhem. Even Le Mime was trying to court me with a ‘bouquet of flowers’! In all fairness, they smelled pretty, but I rejected him anyways.

Pros:

(Addressing the Cons)

Chase rawred at Hannibal whenever he got too close to me.

Chase also rawred at anybody who tried to get with me and gave me a deliciously evil grin every time I turned somebody down and didn’t even attempt to spare their feelings, which was _every_ time, by the by.

(Addressing the Rest of the Eclipse)

The temple is totally demolished. Right down to the ground _gone._ Last I checked, the rubble was _still_ mostly on fire thanks to me.

I got to punch Clay in the face _and_ kick him in the nuts for making me put up with him when he was all weepy.

I specifically targeted Kim with my incendiary explosives knowing there wasn’t _shit_ she could do about them at the time and actually had to run from her own element.

In the same vein of beating the crap out of somebody with their own element, I used my matter-shifter to turn in to a cyclone and torment Pedrosa for awhile before changing back and learning how satisfying it is to crack a pipe across the back of somebody’s skull; the sound, the feeling, _and_ watching the person go down immediately are all awesome.

After doing the aforementioned, I was also able to do that cool thing you only see in the movies where you plant a boot on your fallen enemy’s chest after whooping the shit out of them and say something witty and evil: “I’ll bet that hurt, but what’s gonna hurt even more is when you realize that you deserved absolutely everything that happened to you today.”

Immediately after I said that, the eclipse ended and Chase ‘ported us back to the palace, so I made one hell of a cool exit.

Awesome day? _FUCK. YEAH. IT WAS._

I’m still _way_ high off of all the fun I’ve had, though. I think I might go work some of that off with Chase. It could take quite a while. ;D


	187. 7/23/09

**7/23/09-**

I spent all day in bed today because of yesterday’s excitement.

I’m not sure why, but at one point, I remembered a story I’d heard once. I can’t remember _where_ I’d heard it or _when,_ but it just sort of came back to me.

I didn’t really get it back when I first heard it, but now that I’ve met Chase…now that I know as much about him as I do…

Well, it makes a lot more sense to me and I decided to share it with my overlord. It goes a little something like this:

“Long ago, in ancient China, there was a man who was an expert mountaineer. This man had climbed an incredibly tall mountain, but no one had ever heard of or seen this mountain, so they couldn’t comprehend the magnitude of this accomplishment.

Reluctantly, the man continued to climb mountains said to be even taller. Day after day, he climbed, all in order to make the people recognize his greatness. In the end, the man stopped trying to convince them, made the mountains his home, and became a demon.”

Chase: *looks at me for a moment* And?

Me: That’s where the story ends.

Chase: *smirk* How fitting.

We made out in bed for awhile after that. God, do I love that man… <3


	188. 7/24/09

**7/24/09-**

I’m not going to go so far as to take back the last sentence of yesterday’s entry, but I will add this clause to it: ‘when he’s not being a smartass and scaring the hell out of me.’

To put this situation in perspective, let me say right now that I am sick. I probably picked it up from one of those gross, old monks on Wednesday, but wherever I got it, the point remains that I have been diagnosed by my Medbot with the stomach flu. I’ve already got some Heal-Me juice on the way (maybe a little extreme for a simple illness, but I _hate_ being sick), but I’ve still practically been living in the bathroom all day.

Early this morning, while I was at the toilet puking my guts up, Chase walked in.

Chase: Are you alright, Spicer?

Me: *pukes* I dunno, I’ve been- *dry heave* throwing up all morning.

Chase: Have you eaten anything that disagrees with you?

Me: Not to my knowledge. *jokingly* I figure I’m either sick or pregnant.

Chase: Both are possible.

Me: ……say _what,_ now?

Chase: There’s an equal chance of either.

Me: O.O YOU CAN KNOCK ME UP?!

Chase: I don’t know that it’s possible, but I am a magical dragonlord: I don’t know that it is _im_ possible, either.

As you can imagine, that’s about the time I ran to find my Medbot, almost throwing up in the hallway ‘cause of how fast I was running, screaming about condoms, birth control, and _HOLY FUCK MY LIFE, NO KIDS!_

Naturally, Chase was laughing at my misfortune the entire time. X(

If I didn’t know that he’s evil and apt to screw with me at any given moment, I might actually be upset with him right now.

As it is…I think I might be inclined to pay Ashley a little bit of overtime if she’s willing to do some analyses and _confirm_ that I cannot get knocked up by Chase under any circumstances.

I wouldn’t _want_ to have to start wearing condoms, but if I have to…


	189. 7/25/09

**7/25/09-**

So, after yesterday’s hijinx, Chase and I sat down and had a long, involved discussion, and we’ve reached an agreement.

Having kids by any means is a bad idea because neither of us want them.

On my end of the spectrum, I think kids are gross and annoying and I doubt I’d be able to cope if I had a kid and it ended up being a failure/idiot of some kind. On Chase’s side, he has no need for heirs as he has no intention of dying and passing stuff on to anybody and besides that, if he had kids, they’d probably try to overthrow him which is, y’know…not desired at all.

Additionally, he commented that if we ever had kids, I would pay less attention to him and he _likes_ being the near-sole focus of my attention because it’s good for his ego, thank you very much. XD

So, that’s all cleared up and out of the way, and I’m in a fairly good mood considering I’ve managed to get double-revenge on Chase for freaking me out yesterday.

Because of my natural paranoia, I _had_ to be sure getting knocked up was impossible even after Chase promised me it was, so I called Katnappé over to confirm it. She did, half-way mocked me for even buying into that joke, and then I docked her pay from Wednesday because I saw her at the Xiaolin-shafting eclipse when she should’ve been at work, and then, we were about even.

She stayed over for awhile to work on the Tech-Lotus Twister with me and then by the time she left, I went back upstairs to find Chase upchucking his lunch in the bathroom.

I gave him the stomach flu: that’s Part One of my revenge.

Part Two came when I leaned against the doorway and suggested that maybe _he_ was pregnant.

Chase: *scoffs* As if I would fall for the same trick I used on you yesterday. Besides, I would’ve had to have been fucked _myself_ to have possibly gotten pregnant, and that has not happened anytime recently.

Me: Who says that had to happen? Maybe I was still pissed about yesterday. I _did_ invite Katnappé over and I’ve been working with her all day. Maybe I paid her to use science to stick a bun in your oven as revenge.

Chase: *freezes completely, believing me for _just_ a second* Spicer, if you did, you are a suicidal fool and have just signed your own death warrant.

I promised him that I wasn’t that retarded and that I wasn’t _nearly_ mad enough over yesterday to wreck both of our lives, at which he relaxed and proceeded to resume vomiting.

I took care of him while the Heal-Me juice was being personalized to him; y’know, held his hair back, gave him some water, whispered sweet nothings of how we were going to storm the already-razed temple and kill whoever’d fucked us over, that kind of thing.

Once he was feeling better, we then proceeded to have that talk about kids and I, for one, am glad we’re on the same page.

I would’ve _hated_ to find out he was secretly a family man and wanted, like, twenty kids with me.

*shudder*

Yeah, that’s…that’s nightmare-fodder, right there: Chase Young and his Consort, Trailer Park Rednecks Edition, now with Lovehandles and Crushed Dreams attachments!

GAH. Must stop thinking these things lest I _actually_ have a nightmare about them.

I think I’ll go take some dragoncock orally, guaranteed to fend off nightmares with as little as two doses! ;3


	190. 7/26/09

**7/26/09-**

In light of the ‘no kids’ theme of the past couple of days, I decided to show Chase the video of a condom commercial that was banned from TV because of…well, I dunno why, actually. Probably soccer moms who couldn’t _fathom_ people not loving their precious ickle babies or religious nuts who got pissed that teenagers were being shown anything about sex, even if it was just a way to keep from ending up saddled with a brood and STDs at fifteen.

The commercial takes place in a grocery store with a guy and his kid. The kid puts some candy in the dad’s cart; dad puts it back; kid grabs it again; dad puts it back again.

Then, the kid starts screaming and throwing a tantrum over it in the middle of the store: shrieking, making people stare, throwing shit around and breaking it.

At the end, they close up on the dad, who looks mortified while his son is screaming his head off in the background, and some text pops up on the screen.

“Use condoms.”

First time I saw it, I died laughing and so did Chase.

Additionally, he promised to do wonderfully naughty things to me if I could get that commercial back on television all around the world because people _need_ to see it.

Naturally, I agreed. I doubt I’ll have a hard time of it considering the sort of public sway I’ve got with world leaders and governments and such. ;D


	191. 7/27/09

**7/27/09-**

Today was a day of Chase and I fucking ourselves silly; figuratively and literally.

In the aftermath, it looks like I’ve take a bath in glitter and firefly blood and Chase smells like chocolate and tastes like bananas.

This is _after_ we’ve showered, mind you, so that should give some idea of how crazy we got with the novelty lubes.

All in all? _Very_ good day! ;)


	192. 7/28/09

**7/28/09-**

It’s probably really stupid of me, but I feel…emotional, right now. Touched. _Honored,_ even.

So, I was down in the lab with Katnappé, doing more Tech-Lotus Twister stuff, and we got on the topic of biomodification.

Trying to get in good with me, I assume, she offered to do a few free procedures on me to make me look more…well, normal.

Were it in any other situation, I’d have said something to the effect of, “YES, PLZ, MAKE THE FUCKTARDS STOP STARING, NOW.”

However, in my current situation, my life isn’t completely mine and neither is my body, so I knew I had to check with Chase before doing or agreeing to anything.

I invited him down to the lab, briefly explained the situation, had Katnappé show him a simulation of what I’d look like with a normal skin tone, normal red hair, and one of the three eye colors most people possess (blue, green, or brown), and then proceeded to ask his opinion.

He swiftly smacked me upside the head for even _considering_ agreeing to the procedure, smacked Katnappé upside the head for trying to push it on me, and threatened both of us with serious bodily harm if we went through with it before storming out of the lab.

So, yeah, I’m kinda moved by that in a really weird way. Chase getting _pissed_ at the thought of me changing the way I look means that he _likes_ the way I look. I mean, I already figured that since we frequently have sex without a bag on my head, but that he likes my appearance _that_ much…

It was kind of an epiphany, I guess.

When I was growing up, people _hated_ the way I looked to the point that I just sort of assumed I was unattractive. Now, I’ve got the strongest, awesomest, not to mention sexiest man alive so attracted to me that he will physically hurt me if I change the color of my eyes or get a little bit tanner.

Ugh, I hate that I have mushy moments like these, sometimes. It’s _hard_ not to be all cutesy with Chase right now and coo and simper over him about how sweet it is that he likes me for me or some other sentimental hooey.

Fortunately, I’ve gotten good at channeling those urges into something that’ll annoy Chase less, so I’m off to make him a kickass dinner and dessert, shortly followed by rocking his world so hard he can’t move for at _least_ an hour.  <3


	193. 7/29/09

**7/29/09-**

If I am ever self-conscious again, it’ll be ‘cause I did something stupid in public (unlikely) and not because of the way I look.

I used to get picked on a lot. In retrospect, I’m not surprised: a chalk-white, red-haired, red-eyed (mostly) American kid in a Chinese school, already showing up my classmates and disproving the ‘Asians are the smartest students’ stereotype within my first week there? I count myself lucky I wasn’t stoned to death with building blocks or choked to death with putty by the end of kindergarten.

Still, the kind of stuff that they _said_ to me back then… Well, I dunno if I was just a really emotional kid or what, but I think I’d have preferred the physical, hospital-necessitating torments of the rest of elementary school over the daily verbal lashings of kindergartners. When you’re that young, those kinds of things _hurt,_ and worst of all, they stick with you longer than you’d think.

Chase decided that, today, he was going to unstick all the rotten crap that people have ever said about me to make me feel like I was unattractive.

He did this by first forcing me to tell him every nasty insult regarding my appearance that I could remember and then refuting the _hell_ out of it with particular attention to whatever aspect of me the insult was mocking and adequate assurance that he did _not_ find it weird or ugly in the least.

My favorite was when we got to the ‘Casper’ insult. He touched my skin all over like I was made of glass until I was covered in goosebumps and _begging_ for him to fuck me. When he did, he told me that he would _never_ wish normalcy on me ‘cause he was attracted to who I am right now, and whose opinion was more important: the world’s opinion that I was not standard and not necessarily desirable or his that I was one of the best and sexiest consorts he’s ever had?

I don’t think I have to tell you which of the two has more weight in my mind. <3

Anyways, my self-confidence is through the _roof_ right now. If somebody tried to make me feel bad about myself, I’d probably laugh in their face, offhandedly mention that I’d seen their whore-mother in an alleyway last night giving blowjobs for five bucks, and that my nuts alone were worth more than their entire life and how do you feel about that Loserpants McGee?

I think I owe it to Chase to show some appreciation for the ego-boost. He’s bathing right now; I wonder if he’d terribly mind my using the Tech-GTC to pop in and suck him off…?


	194. 7/30/09

**7/30/09-**

So, today, I decided to formally get to know my employees by dropping into the Spicer Tech building for a surprise meet-and-greet.

Naturally, I already knew Ashley and Richie and they know me, so they didn’t even _pretend_ they weren’t playing video games.

The rest of them saw me, their eyes went wide as dinner plates, and they scrambled to look busy.

I laughed. They were so cute, all terrified of getting fired and whatnot! XD

But yeah, once I promised them it was cool if they played video games ‘cause that’s where I get some of my best ideas for stuff, I met with each of them and tried to get a feel for their personality, their field, and stuff they might need to work more efficiently.

The first one I snatched aside was Andy. He’s a biologist like Ashley, but a good deal less crazy and into marine biology in particular. I figure he’ll be helpful to have around when I start getting into planet reparation stuff: he can keep me updated on aquatic pollution and marine species that are on the verge of extinction so I can keep on top of that. He has also mentioned a love for donuts, and it’ll be easy enough to supply the offices with pastries and such, so if that keeps him wanting to come to work, more power to him.

Next was Marissa and she’s really into viruses and germs and whatnot. I’m willing to bet she’ll gladly take charge of what I’m calling the, ‘Fuck AIDS’ campaign, in which I aim to eradicate that motherfucker off the face of the planet. She’ll probably be happy to help with this stupid swine flu thing as well as the common cold, and if I tell her so, she’d love to educate the public on why it is _important_ to get vaccinations so really fucking stupid parents will stop withholding necessary injections from their children for no real reason. She’s a gamer at heart, so I may upgrade the store-bought gaming system in the offices into something hand-built and twenty times more awesome.

The third one I grabbed was Lisa and she’s an environmentalist. She is gonna be _helpful_ with the whole reducing pollution thing. She knows all about the main sources of pollution and let me know that there were a ton of ways to reduce global warming and carbon emissions and such, but that those methods haven’t taken off yet because technology isn’t at a place where ‘green’ things have been made as cheap, easy, and accessible to the public as they need to be. That’s good to know and I think that’ll be one of my main goals when things really get started. Her hobby is knitting and she says it helps her think better, so it won’t cost me too much to keep her stocked in yarn and knitting needles so as to maximize productivity.

Nate is my resident chemist and he’s…well, I don’t _hate_ him, but I can tell right now we’re not gonna be buddies. He’s a little airheaded and has trouble focusing on stuff, but he’s passionate about what he does, and with the right incentives, it isn’t too hard to keep his attention. I think I’m gonna put some bonuses in his paycheck for certain amounts of work that he gets done per week so he maybe pays a little more attention.

Greg and Johann are my physicists and they’re practically attached at the hip ‘cause of how… _into_ physics they are. Again, these are people I don’t hate but I foresee that we will not be besties: we don’t have that much in common, but at least they’ll be useful to me. Sometimes, I need a little help with the laws of physics in terms of the stuff I build and they’ll be available for my own personal consultations whenever I need ‘em. They both mentioned wanting a crapload of rubber bands so they could make rubber band balls out of them, and whatever, I’m not gonna begrudge them that simple pleasure.

Adrienne is a geologist, and she’s pretty good at what she does. I imagine with her help, I can know when an earthquake is gonna happen before half the world does and can see people prepared adequately for it (so long as Clay doesn’t go all PMS-y on it again). She wants more reading material, like scientific journals and magazines and such, so I’ve put in for subscriptions and am having all that type of stuff sent to the Spicer Tech building.

Then, of course, I’ve got Zhiancuon, who is a psychologist of great esteem as well as Selena, who’s really good at economy-related stuff. They’re gonna be good for prediction of public reaction to various inventions and for financial forecasts and stuff. They’re asking for higher quality tech and software so they can do what they do easier.

And, last but not least is Jim, and he’s another robotics guy like me. He’s one of those blend-into-the-background, I-am-the-wall guys. In fact, I almost skipped over him whenever I was meeting everybody. I dunno, he’s a pretty good mechanic considering he’s nowhere _near_ my level (nor is anybody else, really), but I’m thinking I’ll like having him around ‘cause he’s an ego-boost even when he’s just sitting around and doing nothing, much _less_ actually building something. ;P

Anywho, once I’d officially met everybody, I ordered fast food for the office, told ‘em to have fun and do their jobs, and hightailed it out of there.

None of them were _particularly_ infuriating, but I am still very much misanthropic and did not want to be around a group of people any more than necessary.

Chase is so good to me: he fucked me over a table until I forgot _all_ about having to socialize with people today and then snuggled with me until dinner!

I am _so_ lucky to be his consort.  <3


	195. 7/31/09

**7/31/09-**

Weird moment today.

Morning and afternoon were nothing special, just the usual fare, but when nighttime rolled around…

Well, I was about done cleaning up the lab. Katnappé had just left, and I always like to clean my equipment off after she touches it (never know if she sexually-abused an animal or pretended to while masturbating that day, and if she did, I _don’t_ want the residue on _my_ stuff).

I went upstairs, brushed my teeth, read a book for a little while, and then shut off the lights to go to sleep.

I’ve been tossing and turning for _hours._

I couldn’t figure it out for the longest time. I kept wondering why the hell I couldn’t get to sleep, ‘cause everything on my mental checklist for the day had been crossed out and I _knew_ I hadn’t done anything stupid, like leave my thermal particle accelerator on. I grew out of that by the time I was ten, anyways. Still, it wasn’t like anything was different, and I hadn’t had any problems getting to sleep in the past couple of days…

And then, just now, it hit me: I’ve been sleeping in Chase’s room for months now. Tonight’s the first time I’ve even _tried_ to sleep in my own bed.

So…yeah, I think I might head over to Chase’s room, now. It’s _late_ and I’m _tired,_ and if being in his bed makes the difference between being up all night/totally exhausted and asleep within minutes/well-rested, I see no problem with going there right now.


	196. 8/1/09

**8/1/09-**

Tacking onto last night’s weirdness, Chase was dealing with it, too. When I showed up and snuck into bed last night, he snuggled with me and said something to the effect of, “It was weird without you here.”

He was half-asleep when he said it, so I’m not sure if he meant it or if he even remembers it. If he doesn’t, I’m not about to tell him, ‘cause it was almost _sweet_ the way he said it, and he probably wouldn’t believe me. Hell, _I_ wouldn’t believe me if I hadn’t been there.

Anyway, that was last night. Today was far more hilarious. XD

Seeing as today is the first of August, I mentioned to Chase that the month was originally called Sextilis in the original Roman calendar because it was the sixth month, then.

I have no idea how it happened, but by noon, we were enacting a Roman drama we made up on the spot, complete with costumes, extras (played by Chase’s cats), and ‘on-stage’ sex and battle scenes.

The best part? My character’s name was ‘Mentulus,’ (from the Latin ‘mentula,’ which was slang for penis) and Chase’s character’s name was Sextilus because it pretty much had to be.

I am _so_ glad I had the foresight to have the whole thing recorded and I’m seriously considering having it reproduced for theaters or, if not that, a direct-to-DVD release.

It _was_ just that epic, yes, and besides, teens need some good old-fashioned sex, action, and violence in their movies instead of the crap they’ve _been_ seeing, like Twilight, Hannah Montana, and the Jonas Brothers.

…I just got a mental image of me lording over a bunch of the soccer moms that will protest the release of this thing and maniacally cackling, “YOUR POST-PUBESCENT CHILDREN WILL WATCH ME HAVING GAY SEX AND THEY WILL LIKE IT!”

Oh, man, that should _totally_ happen! XD


	197. 8/2/09

**8/2/09-**

Apparently, some serious shit is going to go down, soon.

Some sort of tropical depression is forming in the area around Asia and Chase immediately knew about, which is weird ‘cause neither wind nor water are his element.

Supposedly, it’s something supernatural and it’s got something to do with _him, specifically._

It’s too early for him to know exactly what it is that’s going to involve him, so he’s been trying to put it out of his mind all day. Putting it out of his mind involves putting his cock in _me,_ and so copious amounts of sex have been had today.

Naturally, I don’t really mind! ;3

Still…I’m more than a little curious about this thing…


	198. 8/3/09

**8/3/09-**

The tropical depression has become a tropical storm and it has been lovingly named ‘Morakot.’

Chase says he’s still feeling a little weird, but he’s getting used to it, so it’s not distracting him as badly as when it first popped up.

That’s all well and good, but he’s my overlord and it’s my job to keep him happy, so we messed around with some silly sex games for awhile. I’m thinking _both_ of our favorites was when we ‘ported to the mansion and fucked in my parents’ bed.

Naturally, we changed the sheets and such to make sure we didn’t catch crabs anything, but it was just really fun screwing there because my parents had done it there once or twice and so had my dad and a million of his one night stands, and if they’d been able to see us, the lot of them would’ve come immediately from how hot we were and then been deeply ashamed at having gotten off on gay sex (gay sex that their son was having, in my parents’ cases).

Really, though, the roleplay was just plain funny.

Me: Oh, god, I’m a $1 a night slut trying to ‘work my way through college,’ and I’ve picked up at least twenty different STDs! Fuck me anyway, ‘Martin’!

Chase: *snort* VD means nothing to me! I’m rich enough to catch any disease I want; now, shut up and let me fuck you in eight different, depraved ways in my wife’s bed because I am _classy!_

Seriously. The lulz: they were had. XD

It might’ve been creepy if we’d been taking it seriously, but we weren’t. We were just messing around and my manwhore of a dad is just _too_ ripe of a target. I don’t think I’d ever busted a gut laughing and busted a nut coming at the same time before then, but lemme tell you, it was an _interesting_ experience.

Anyways, I…

Oh, my. Chase is at my door, giving me the ‘come hither’ look to end all ‘come hither’ looks with a bottle of cinnamon-sugar lube in his hand that I can smell from here.

Hello, evening plans… <3


	199. 8/4/09

**8/4/09-**

Chase decided he wanted to do something today; something that would distract him from this Morakot thingy.

I suggested that we take a trip to the past because teeny!Chase was cute and I wanted to squee over his not-Heylin-awww-how-preciousness some more.

To my surprise, Chase looked like he was considering it for a minute and then, just like that, he agreed!

So, we set off on our time-travel adventure and when we appeared somewhere in ancient China, I noticed that I was no longer wearing what I had been wearing back in the future (or, I guess, the present) and neither was Chase.

Apparently, Chase had decided we would be going into a public area this time and needed to blend in, so we were wearing the attire of the time.

We were both in relatively dark colors, me ‘cause I’m a goth and Chase because only Xiaolin!Chase looks even remotely good in powder blue and current!Chase knows it, but I was additionally equipped with a parasol to shade me from the sun.

I thought that was pretty thoughtful of my everlord, looking out for my albinism like that.

Anyways, we started walking through some village or other, and of course we got some stares. For one thing, I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating that Chase _exudes_ evil. He is not the kind of person you can walk past and not shiver and look back to make sure some gigantic thing with claws and teeth didn’t pass you instead of a ‘normal’ man. Secondly…even though I don’t have that sort of aura thing going on, my coloring is very noticeable. People look at me and do a double-take ‘cause they can hardly believe they just saw somebody who looks like me.

Thanks to Chase, I am no longer ashamed of that, but it doesn’t change the fact of the matter.

Either way, we were walking along and minding our own business when Chase just _stopped._

Chase: You wanted to come here to see a younger version of me, didn’t you?

Me: …yeah…?

Chase: *gestures off to the side*

And _OH. MY. GOD._

There was a teeny!Chase where he gestured alright, but it wasn’t the teenager a matter of months from turning Heylin that I’d seen before.

He was a little kid; four-years-old, I later found out, and holy _bejeesus,_ was he adorable! He was all tiny and off by himself and his hair was kinda short ‘cause his parents probably made him cut it or something and he had these _eyes!_ Chase had told me his eyes had been darker than the gold they were now when he was younger, but teeny!Chase had these big, brown doe-eyes that you couldn’t even _believe!_

Now, let it be reiterated that I hate children, but _Chase…_ Well, I still wouldn’t wanna raise him or change his diapers or anything, but I wouldn’t mind doing grandpa-duty for him every now and again; y’know, have him over, watch him for a day, and when he starts getting on my nerves, send him back to mommy and daddy.

Either way, when I saw teeny!Chase, I squealed like a girl and _begged_ Chase to let me go hug him.

Oddly enough, I got the green light. I was over there immediately and hugging the living daylights out of the poor kid, but really, it was his own fault for being so fucking cute.

It was obvious teeny!Chase didn’t get hugged much back in the day, ‘cause he was confused to all hell when I was hugging him, but eventually, he relaxed and hugged back with his tiny little arms and _OH MY GOD, SO DAMN CUTE, HOW DOES HE DO IT._

It was around then that the current-time Chase called me back over to him, at which point I bid teeny!Chase goodbye, told him not to do anything bad unless he was sure he wouldn’t get caught, and then trotted back over to my overlord’s side. He put his arm around me and we then left the village and went back to our own time.

After we got back, Chase let me in on the fact that all of that was supposed to happen because he had _vague_ memories of the hug and of seeing who he now recognizes as himself with me. He said that what I did today in the past was probably a part of why he’s so attracted to my white skin now; a sort of psychological mindfuck type thing where he saw me when he was young and his brain decided, “YES, THAT,” in regards to my coloring and now that he’s an adult, his body gets to say, “YES, THAT,” about it, too.

I still really enjoy that: I have the power to arouse an immortal Heylin dragonlord simply by _existing._

FEEL MY SMUG! *insert evil laughter here* >=D

Really, though, I think I ought to thank him for the entertainment, today. He does enjoy pastries, and he loves chocolate…y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever made him Ruske Kape before. They’re kinda like cupcakes and he _adores_ those.

Yeah, that sounds like a good present; I’m off to the kitchen!


	200. 8/5/09

**8/5/09-**

Ickle little Morakot is no longer just a tropical storm: it has now risen in the ranks to a typhoon and with that upgrade comes an upgrade in Chase’s edginess.

He’s not nervous, he’s not freaking out, he’s just…wary; a little more cautious in the way he does things.

Hell, the guy’s barely left me alone for an hour all day! It doesn’t exactly _bother_ me, but it is a little weird. It’s like he’s clingy, and clingy is an adjective that doesn’t feel like it meshes with Chase.

Maybe he’d calm down a little if he knew what was coming.

…doesn’t Chase have the Fountain of Hui _and_ the Eagle Scope lying around here somewhere?

Hmm.


	201. 8/6/09

**8/6/09-**

Apparently, it was worse to actually know what’s coming.

It’s in the future and because of the magical, unpredictable nature of what’s about to happen, the image was foggy and a bit uncertain, but one thing is for sure about this Morakot thing.

An alternate Chase Young is going to be pulled into this dimension from another one entirely.

Yeah, that really only has the potential to be really, really, _really_ bad. _One_ Chase is already a plague upon mankind and an almost certain harbinger of their doom. _Two_ Chases?

That’ll most likely end in a death-match over control of the Earth with the planet being burned to a cinder before either of them concedes.

Chase and I have already started planning for how we’re gonna handle this.

The other Chase Young, which I shall henceforth be referring to as Alt!Chase, will be pulled into our universe when Typhoon Morakot makes landfall in China. When that happens, Chase and I are gonna be there to grab Alt!Chase, explain the situation, and graciously extend an offer to stay at the palace for a brief period until such a time that the typhoon is about to dissipate and can bring Alt!Chase back to his own universe.

Because Chase isn’t going to go picking a fight, Alt!Chase likely won’t start one, either, and so they just have to keep from pissing each other off too badly to get in a scrap and initiate what would probably be the end of the world. Typhoon Morakot goes away, so does Alt!Chase, and everything goes back to being hunky-dory.

Jesus, I hope this works…


	202. 8/7/09

**8/7/09-**

Chase and I pretty much stayed in all day except for one trip into space just to try and relax.

Neither of us is saying it, but we’re both pretty nervous about this thing. Chase does _not_ want to get in a fight with himself, the only person besides Bean he wouldn’t easily win against and _I_ don’t want Chase to get in a fight with himself because if Alt!Chase is anything like Chase, the both of them will fight to the death rather than admit defeat and I _don’t_ want Chase to die.

Still…we’re just gonna have to play it by ear. We can’t get too nerved up over this and then totally drop the ball when Alt!Chase shows up. There’s kinda too much at stake for any foul-ups.


	203. 8/8/09

**8/8/09-**

Chase is positive: it’s happening tomorrow.

All the weather channels have confirmed the same, so there’s no doubt that tomorrow is when Typhoon Morakot is touching down in China.

Apparently, though, Chase is anxious about more than possibly having to fight himself.

I figured it out when we were having sex, trying to not think about tomorrow. He was rough with me; growling and holding me down, and he must’ve said the word, ‘mine’ at least twenty times.

He’s worried that Alt!Chase might try to take me away from him.

It’s a valid worry, I guess. This guy may or may not be into other guys and he may or may not want to take a souvenir of his trip to our universe home with him and that could conceivably be me.

Either way, I’ve promised Chase that if the dude does try to take me with him, I won’t go willingly. I’ll kick and bite and thrash and even scream ‘rape’ a couple of times for good measure. If none of that works, I’ll act like I’m going along with it, get nice and close, and then shriek as loud and as high-pitched as I can possibly manage in his ear and scramble the hell away while he’s still reeling and wondering why everything tastes purple.

Chase was glad that I didn’t want to leave him, even if it would be for another Chase Young, and so we just kind of cuddled for a few hours.

Despite the fluffy, good feelings about that, I still don’t think either of us are going to sleep tonight.

I’m gonna go make some coffee.


	204. 8/9/09

**8/9/09-**

Um…fuck. Consider me dumbfounded.

So, Morakot was about to touch down in China so Chase grabbed me and ‘ported us there. God forbid we failed to be timely hosts to our interdimensional guest and piss him off early.

It was wet. It was cold. It was windy. It was totally fucking miserable.

Chase held me really close, for a number of reasons I assume: to shield me from the elements, to protect me from flying debris (mortal that I am, I cannot withstand being struck by an airborne house and live), and to let this other Chase know right off the bat that I was his and that he was willing to fight to keep it that way.

We were only waiting a few minutes when the typhoon touched down. Sure enough, a portal to another dimension opened up and…

Well, you’re not gonna believe this. This Alt!Chase guy…is not a guy at all.

That’s right: the Chase Young that the other dimension sent over is a _woman._ o.0

My jaw dropped right then and there; I’m sure I looked like a gawking idiot, but I don’t really care because _holy shit, Chase with boobs._

Brief introductions happened courtesy of Chase (“I am Chase Young, this is my apprentice, Jack Spicer, and you and I are alternate versions of each other”), the situation was explained, and Girl!Chase, whose name I didn’t catch ‘cause I was too freaked out to pay attention when she gave hers, was invited to the palace for the duration of the little dimension-whoopsie that’d taken place.

She accepted and things are _awkward_ around here.

Both Chase and Girl!Chase are trying to maintain social dominance and things aren’t going so smoothly. I mean, for Chase they are: the cats listen to him and not her, my bots listen to him and not her, and I listen to him and not her, but all this is running the risk of pissing Girl!Chase off.

Aside from the fact that she has boobs and presumably a vagina (I haven’t seen it, nor do I want to), she is _exactly_ like Chase. I know Chase would be _livid_ if he was in such a familiar environment, but was not lord and master of it, so I can only assume the same about this lady.

Huh. Y’know, it’s weird. Chase and Girl!Chase look almost exactly alike: same long hair, same pretty face, same body language, same “I AM EVIL, HEAR ME ROAR” vibe rolling off ‘em…

And yet I am not the least bit attracted to Girl!Chase.

Oh, sure, she’s a beautiful woman and all that. I can call her pretty and mean it and even suggest that she do some modeling in any spare time she has. If I were straight, she'd almost certainly be my type, but… I dunno, I’m just not attracted to her. Physically, my body’s put off by the female anatomy, but even if I could get over that… I’m not mentally attracted to her, either, ‘cause she’s not _my_ Chase; my extremely awesome, powerful, and very much _male_ Chase.

Hell, even if she _was_ another guy, I doubt I’d want her. She wouldn’t be the Chase I fell in love with, so…the hell with her, y’know?

I don’t see why she’d want me, anyways. There was some light conversation at dinner and she mentioned that I cook as well as _her_ apprentice, Jacqueline.

So, yeah, apparently, there’s a chick-version of me, too, and she’s in just about the same situation as I am.

Weird.

Still, if Girl!Chase has her own Girl!Me, I should be in the clear.

Unfortunately, that knowledge doesn’t make her stay here any less awkward. I’m hoping this typhoon ends sooner rather than later.


	205. 8/10/09

**8/10/09-**

Uh, yeah, remember that earlier talk of both Chases getting in a fight and possibly ending the world?

That almost happened today.

Girl!Chase…tried to claim me. Yes, _that_ way.

Chase was _PISSED,_ and as predicted, they started fighting with the intent to kill one another until they died to death.

All the while, they were snarling at each other, Chase angry about the fact that Girl!Chase has a consort at home and was trying to steal me, too, and Girl!Chase annoyed that someone was trying to interfere with her right to take whatever and whomever she wanted _whenever_ she wanted.

Eventually, I had to step in. It was dangerous as hell to get between two dueling hellbeasts like them, but if I didn’t, y’know…dead Chase, world destroyed, everything fucked all to hell.

I’m not sure _how_ I got ‘em to listen to me, but I managed it and then I forced Girl!Chase to think about things logically.

First off, I asked her why in the hell she wanted me in the first place.

She proved herself to be very Chase-like in her reply: apparently, she enjoys having sex with women and with Jacqueline in particular, but that she occasionally desired to have sex with men, too. Being the man-version of her consort, I was the natural choice.

Secondly, I asked her how alike we were based on what she’s seen.

In fitting with the trend of her being _really_ like Chase, I’m apparently _really_ like her consort, except, y’know, with a penis.

Then, I outlined my argument about why it was stupid to try and take me on as a second consort.

I know that I am easily threatened and let that be publicly known. Therefore, this Jacqueline girl, if she’s that much like me, would also be easily threatened.

I was _upset_ when I thought Chase was replacing me with a girl, something Chase backed up for me and something Girl!Chase assented to, remembering how upset Girl!Me had gotten when _she_ thought she was being replaced with a _guy._

Speaking as myself for a moment, if this Jacqueline chick ever showed up in this universe, I would have an outright panic attack, maybe even followed by total heart failure soon after, because she would be me…but in a female body, the type of body that I _know_ Chase has sex with every once in awhile because he enjoys me, but needs a woman sometimes, anyway.

If I existed in girl-form, I would _freak,_ because there would be the perfect vessel to replace me, complete with everything he keeps me around for _plus_ a vagina. I would no longer be necessary. I would be obsolete.

Chase would no longer have any use for me whatsoever and I would be out the door before I could even blink.

*shudder*

Even thinking about it now, that’s…that’s really fucking scary.

I had just barely gotten through explaining all that to Girl!Chase when my Chase came over and held me, nuzzling my neck and rubbing my back to calm me down.

Apparently, I’d been shaking and on the verge of tears. I hadn’t even realized.

That was enough to sink the point home for Girl!Chase: she had no desire to freak out her Girl!Me as badly as I’d managed to freak myself out just thinking about what might happen if there was an opposite-gendered me hanging around, and so she agreed that it was not a wise decision to try and claim me if it would distress her consort so deeply.

She also added the completely correct statement, “Besides, if he’s anything like my Jacqueline, he is most likely disgusted by the thought of sex with a woman, and I won’t force myself on him in that way.”

She’s been in her room ever since, most likely wanting nothing to do with us anymore now that our perceived usefulness is gone, and I think it’s best that way.

According to Chase, she’ll be home in her own universe by tomorrow.

Color me _ecstatic._


	206. 8/11/09

**8/11/09-**

Alright, everything has officially been taken care of.

Typhoon Morakot has dissipated, Girl!Chase has gone with it back to her own dimension, and a town in Taiwan has been destroyed by a mudslide triggered by the rain of the typhoon, killing an estimated 500 people.

The name of the town? Xiaolin.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who finds it amusing that the arrival of a second Chase Young in this universe ended up destroying Xiaolin, even if it was just a town and not the actual good guys.

Chase is relieved that this whole thing was able to happen without _too_ much incident, but as for me…? I’m physically and emotionally _drained_ from the past two days.

I need to go lie down for awhile.


	207. 8/12/09

**8/12/09-**

Chase has been _really_ good to me, today.

Not to say he’s abusive any other time, but there’s a particular benevolence about him today.

As I have been told, I’m being rewarded for my awesome minion skills: I have been serving Chase as his consort and apprentice for approximately six months straight, have supplied him with all the baked goods he could ever need, fulfilled a lifelong fantasy of space travel, given him some of the best sex he’s ever had, _and_ gone above and beyond the call of duty by helping to entertain an alternate version of my overlord for her brief stay, and all this without betraying him, getting boring in bed, showing excessive signs of unhappiness with the arrangement, or pissing Chase off badly enough to want to kick me out for good.

All in all, I am a pretty kickass minion and Chase has decided to commemorate it; kinda like an Employee of the Month thing, except he doesn’t do it monthly and he’s only doing it now ‘cause, hey, this has never happened before, let’s have cake for it.

And cake has been _had!_

It was made from one of my recipes to ensure its awesomeness, but I didn’t have to lift a finger to bake it (the cats are surprisingly good in the kitchen). It’s basically a chocoholic’s wet dream: chocolate buttermilk cake filled and frosted with chocolate cream cheese, drizzled with chocolate ganache and topped with chocolate curls.

Chase took one look at it and demanded to know why I hadn’t ever made it for him before. I answered honestly that I’d been saving it for an occasion when I _really_ screwed something up so that I could soften the blow with the cake, but that I hadn’t screwed anything up lately, so…

He accepted this as a legitimate excuse and declared that from now on, all bad news shall be broken with cake. XD

Anyways, aside from the Awesome Cake of Awesome, much pampering went on and both Chase and I were waited on hand and foot (more than usual, at least) all day. Hot bubble baths and some of the best wine I’d ever had were involved, as was a deep-tissue massage that worked out the stress knots in my back and neck from the past couple of days and that I graciously reciprocated for my overlord.

He then informed me that _that_ was why I was being celebrated today: I’d been told I was going to be pampered and yet I’d taken a few moments out of my own pleasure to make sure Chase was enjoying the day just as much as I was.

I think I’m entitled to a little gloating. I am an _awesome_ minion. *SMUG*

Either way, today has been pretty kickass, but I have been promised an even more awesome than usual night, so I’m off to bed. ;D


	208. 8/13/09

**8/13/09-**

Shen Gong Wu popped up today; nothing important, just one of the random little ones that were made for pretty much no reason.

I whooped some Xiaolin ass for it, anyways. >=D

Even after I’d won it, the monks disgraced and defeated and myself very much victorious…

Well, I decided to be a dick and rub my happiness in their faces.

Chase had come along, naturally. He almost always comes with for Wu stuff on the off-chance that it ever looks like the monks might beat me. I’m proud of the fact that he hasn’t had to interfere for me in a long time. =D

Anyways, Chase was there, the monks had just been thoroughly pwned, I had the Wu in my hand, and I decided to be a jerk. I walked back over to Chase, sidled up to him nice and close, threw a glance at Rai, and then proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of my overlord.

He played along, of course, because he knew what I was doing: Pedrosa might’ve been aware of the fact that he wasn’t with Chase anymore, but that didn’t mean the sight of him doing intimate things with someone else didn’t still _bother_ him.

He was very much bothered if the _seething_ glare he gave me was any indication. He was decidedly pissed off at the reminder that somebody else was fucking the perfect sex god he’d had for all of a few weeks before he shot himself in the foot by getting overly needy about it.

I’d been expecting that, though, so it’s no big deal. What I _hadn’t_ been expecting was for the guy to pop a boner just watching Chase and I make out.

Apparently, we’re both sufficiently sexy on our own, but throw us together and have us doing something else sexy, and insta-boner for poor widdle Raimundo who will never land a threesome with us. >=3

Damn, I love being excessively cruel! I wonder if Chase would ever agree to fucking somewhere Pedrosa might ‘conveniently’ stumble upon us and get stuck watching us have fun in really awesome, creative ways…?

Anywho, once we got home, we fucked and while Chase was sleeping it off, I decided to surprise him.

The Wu that went active was for duplication. I’d known for awhile that Chase was interested in a threesome when he suggested one with Frankie way back when and more recently when Girl!Chase showed up and had tried to take me back with her so I could get freaky with her and her Girl!Me.

Each time, Chase has decided that he would rather have me and just me if I was unwilling to do sexual stuff with somebody else for him (which I am!), and that’s…

Well, he’s a _warlord_ who shouldn’t have to compromise on anything, and he did _anyways_ just because not-compromising would’ve made me uncomfortable.

I figured he deserved _some_ sort of compensation for being so awesome, so…I duplicated myself and the three of us had some fun.

It was a little weird, I have to admit, but it wasn’t _bad._ My duplicate was made from my psyche, so he didn’t do anything I didn’t want him to, and it was actually kind of fun being able to screw around with another person and still technically be masturbating, but…

I dunno, I doubt I’d want to do it again…

Still, I made sure Chase had fun tonight with the both of us while I was in a good enough mood to let one of his sexual fantasies that I’d otherwise have a problem with slide.

He’s definitely grateful if the depletion of his cigar-supply is any indication! ;D

I am pretty worn out, though. It’s not often one gets to fuck themselves to exhaustion with a Heylin overlord’s help, but that’s pretty much what I did today, so…I’m thinking some sleep is in order.


	209. 8/14/09

**8/14/09-**

Fuck. Just… fuck.

So, this morning…I woke up a little early; Chase was just getting up, too.

We shared a look of, “I’m tired, but morning sex sounds good,” and I leaned over to his side of the bed and kissed him. My hands were on his arms, his hands were on my back, and our mouths were together. We were both starting to get into it and then, just as things started getting hot and I started sucking on his bottom lip…

 _**BOOM. LOUD NOISE, FLASH OF LIGHT, HOLY FFFFFFFFFFFFUCK.** _

Chase had to literally pry me off him what with the rigor mortis-grip I had on him _and_ I’d made his lip bleed. X(

It was a minute or two of compulsive cursing and clutching at my chest (as if that’d keep my heart from breaking past my ribs and fleeing like a scared little girl) before I could calm down enough to keep Chase from getting me a paramedic and explaining what’d just happened.

He’s never heard of Exploding Head Syndrome. I’m not surprised: I hadn’t heard of it, either until it happened to me when I first entered puberty.

It’s a rare thing and it’s not that frequent. In fact, mostly people over fifty and mostly women are prone to it, but y’know…not a lot of studies have been done on people with super-genius intellects.

Anyways, Exploding Head Syndrome; once I got Chase to believe it’s a real thing (it sounds totally ridiculous, I know), I told him what it is: either going into or coming out of a deep sleep, and even in some cases while entirely conscious, a pants-shittingly loud noise from somewhere inside your head happens. Sometimes, it’s an explosion, other times a gunshot, really just anything _LOUD_ that scares the hell out of you. This is accompanied by a flash of light.

That’s really about it, ‘cause after that, it’s over and you’re left freaking the fuck out and wondering what the _hell_ just happened.

It’s happened to me twice before, and I can say in confidence that it doesn’t get less scary as time goes by.

Thankfully, there are pretty long lapses in between these episodes. Whenever I have one, it’s usually a couple of years before another one pops up. In fact, the last one I got was when I was…fifteen? Sixteen? Something like that.

It took awhile to convince Chase that I _didn’t_ need to go to a hospital and that there was nothing they’d be able to do, anyways. All doctors can do for this is recommend some antidepressants (which Chase has already steered me off of), get more sleep (I intend to), and avoid high-stress lifestyles (kind of impossible as blatantly in the public eye as I am, but I’m not going to be making any public appearances for a little while, anyways).

I feel bad for hurting Chase, though, even if it was in a minuscule way. Just because _I_ was freaked out doesn’t mean he should have to have a split lip.

Then again…it could’ve been worse: we could’ve been hardcore making out and I could’ve bitten his tongue off. _That_ would certainly have some serious consequences.

Hmm. I dunno, I think I’m not gonna do anything today. Being under the impression for a few moments that your brains were splattered all over the wall kinda puts a damper on most activities.

Katnappé was supposed to come over, but I think I’ll cancel that. I’m kind of in the mood to sleep for awhile.


	210. 8/15/09

**8/15/09-**

I am both disappointed and as smug as I could possibly be: an odd combination to be sure.

Anyways, I got over my, ‘fuck doing things’ slump and called Katnappé over for more Tech-Lotus Twister stuff.

I dunno _how_ she always manages to steer the conversation to biomodification.

Either way, we were talking about that again, and she said something to the effect of, “So, Chase nixed changing what you already have; wanna tack on some stuff, instead?”

Her idea was to develop and graft on a pair of wings; not fluffy, feathery bird wings, but black, leathery bat wings that would make me capable of flight.

I was so excited I nearly came in my pants right there.

I _love_ flying. It’s almost as big a passion in my life as Chase is because it’s just so _freeing_ and totally awesome…!

Don’t get me wrong: I love my helipack, but actual _wings?_ Flight _without_ mechanical aid?

 _EPIC._

However, the same issue arose as the last time Katnappé got it in her head that she wanted to experiment on me.

I had to check with Chase on it before doing anything.

I received a big, fat, “HELL NO,” in response and then Chase proceeded to bitch Ashley out about it.

Chase: STOP TRYING TO BODILY MODIFY MY CONSORT, YOU FELINE FREAK!

Katnappé: But... but... he's just... _human_ -looking! He's so _boring._

Chase: _Really?_ You _really_ think him ‘boring and human-looking’ with his white skin and red eyes?

Katnappé: But...there's nothing... _animal_ about him...

Chase: *pointedly* And that is extremely fortunate, as I am not sexually aroused by animals.

Katnappé: *POUT*

HA. I win, Katnappé! The victor is me! Sign over all your dignity and possessions on the dotted line and become accustomed to the thought of being my whipping-bitch. >=)

Okay, maybe not that far, but the point remains: Chase has openly and definitively declared that he is not sexually interested in animals. Katnappé has animal-parts blatantly grafted onto her.

I dunno, I like to think it makes a statement about the two of them and their sexual future, AKA _borderline nonexistent!_

This thought excites me in many ways. I’m torn between directing that excitement into baking and whipping up enough cupcakes for my beloved overlord to become obese _today_ or instead using it to plan an extremely exhausting evening in bed and bent over various objects.

Fuck it, I declare that both shall be done!


	211. 8/16/09

**8/16/09-**

Y’know, a month or two ago, working with Katnappé today would’ve been unbearable.

I can picture it now: she’d be hissing and glaring at me, being purposefully uncooperative, doing little passive-aggressive things like ‘accidentally’ tripping me in the lab or ‘forgetting’ I’d asked her to do something, and all because yesterday, Chase had let her know that he considers me better than her.

Now, because she’s under the constant threat of losing her ‘needed’ job…?

Katnappé has behaved as wonderfully as a trained lapdog (and yes, that analogy _was_ intentional).  >;D

I am quite possibly the smuggest smug that ever was aside from maybe Chase. He’s _particularly_ good at being smug _and_ he’s had many, many years to do it in.

Huh. Why do I not remember _exactly_ how old he is? I should probably know that, I guess, considering I’m his minion/apprentice/consort/all of the above. I’ll make a note to be reminded.

In the meantime, I’m going to try and get this sudden image out of my head in which Chase is on his porch shaking a cane and demanding that some snot-nosed little whippersnappers, “get the hell off my lawn, dammit!” XD


	212. 8/17/09

**8/17/09-**

No work on the Tech Lotus Twister got done today.

Chase and I were busy adding to our home porn collection all day. XD

We broke out the leash again and then later, for kicks, we did kind of a school-themed fantasy. The sound of a ruler slapping ominously against a palm has never made me hard before, but damn if it didn’t today.

We also explored a few other fantasies and got ‘em all on tape, but…

Hmm. One of _my_ fantasies has started to rear its (metaphorically) ugly head again. I _know_ Chase would still say no if I asked him about it, so I’m not going to, but _fuck_ do I wanna have him all dragony!

I understand why Chase doesn’t want to: he’s easily capable of hurting me badly in that body and throw in the mindset of, ‘so close to coming that I have no coherent thoughts,’ it’s _dangerous_ for us to fuck like that.

I know that, but that doesn’t stop me from _wanting_ it.

Oh, fuck. I haven’t had to masturbate in _months,_ but it’s looking like I might have to. No way I can fuck Chase right now with the kinky stuff looping in my head. I just _know_ something indicative of my fantasies would come out of my mouth.


	213. 8/18/09

**8/18/09-**

*sigh*

I quote myself from a few days ago saying sex between Chase and Katnappé was borderline nonexistent.

I soundly take it back.

Luckily, I didn’t catch them in the act, but I’d have had to be retarded not to have seen the signs, and one thing I like to boast about is not being retarded.

Really, did she think I wouldn’t notice that her skirt was on backwards, her shirt was rumpled, and she smelled like him, not to mention that this is _after_ a three-hour absence from the lab?

Gah. I _really_ wish I could hate Chase for this, but damn, I can’t. I know he wants a woman every now and again, and since he’s my overlord, I have to respect that, even if it hurts.

I can easily hate Katnappé for it, though, and I do/have.

She knew I knew the second she walked back in and she _begged_ me not to fire her ‘cause it wasn’t her idea and please, please take mercy on her!

I did…kind of. I only docked a month of her salary for goofing off on the job and I only made her fall flat on her face twice during the rest of our work together. I consider that pretty merciful considering I could’ve easily done _much_ worse.

Chase is quite pleased with me considering I haven’t even attempted to bitch him out over this. I know my place and he likes that.

Still, I reserve the right to be less than happy about it.

Sometimes, it’s frustrating being a minion: you have very few rights of your own. I’m willing to bet if I went out and fucked somebody right now, Chase would slaughter him and do something exceedingly unpleasant to me.

Oh, the hypocrisy of it all, but what can I do about it? Even if I _could_ do anything about it, I doubt I’d want to. Outside of this… Katnappé thing, he’s good to me. Hell, he’s _great_ to me and I’m head-over-heels for him besides.

Whatever. From this moment on, I refuse to think about it. Now that Katnappé’s gone and I’ve attended my consortial duties for the night, I’m going to go to bed.


	214. 8/19/09

**8/19/09-**

Crap. Well…yesterday, I wasn’t 100% happy with Chase, but that doesn’t mean I want him to avoid me like the plague.

Apparently, last night, I was having a particularly hot wet dream. It managed to wake Chase up and then, just as he was about to wake me up so we could have sex…

I muttered a few very incriminating things involving claws and scales and a sinfully long tongue, and now Chase is trying to maintain his distance from me while he sorts this out in his head. Again.

I guess if I wanted to be particularly spiteful about this, I could say that I’ve gotten him back for yesterday by weirding him out, but I don’t, so it’s a moot point.

Dammit, why does he have to be so _weird_ about this?! It’s just a fantasy; I _know_ it’s just a fantasy and I should hope _he_ knows that, too, and yet, every time it’s brought up, he has to hole up somewhere away from me and brood about how _weird_ he thinks it is.

Fuck, if anything, he should be flattered! _Katnappé_ wouldn’t want to fuck him in his dragon-form! She thinks it’s _ugly;_ she told me so herself!

Fuck, damn, shit, crap, bitch, ass, tits!

*deep breath*

Okay…okay… I’m gonna go talk him out of his snit. If I don’t do it, nobody will and then the world will lose the greatest evil bastard it’s ever had.

  
 **8/19/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****Chase is better. I’m better. Everything’s better. It took some talking out and some kickass make-up sex, but I think we’re both officially okay with each other again.

I’m glad. I really _do_ love that man…  <3


	215. 8/20/09

**8/20/09-**

For real? I can’t even…dammit, people are so…GRAH.

Alright, now, it’s not like me to go on a self-righteous tirade: I can appreciate evil-doing as much as the average person appreciates good deeds.

However, I feel it’s warranted this time.

This guy, Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi, bombed a plane in 1988. I wasn’t there, obviously, but it’s hard not to hear about these things when you pay attention to the world around you and have a pretty good grasp on big events in history.

Anyways, he bombed this plane and killed 270 people. Now, I normally wouldn’t care about something like this; _normally,_ I’d commend him for removing unnecessary people from the planet and be on my merry fucking way.

When he’s released from a life-in-prison sentence because he has prostate cancer and oh, he probably only has three more months to live, _that’s_ when I get annoyed.

The guy _killed_ a whole bunch of people, he got caught, and he was sent to jail for it. His punishment for what he did was to spend the rest of his life in prison and to die there, but now that he’s going to die sooner than he might’ve thanks to ass-cancer, these people want to let him _out?_

Fuck it all, it doesn’t make any sense to me, but I guess people _are_ retarded and I shouldn’t be surprised by that.

Still, just… _dammit!_


	216. 8/21/09

**8/21/09-**

Holy shit, have I underestimated my own power. So, that Libyan guy I mentioned yesterday who bombed a plane and such? Well, I had occasion to see the press today and commented briefly on it.

Because of what I said, this guy’s almost certainly going back to prison. Why? World leaders and such are under the impression that if I am unhappy about something, I won’t get to building them stuff and have consequently spoken out against the guy.

Furthermore, by mentioning it, I called it to the attention of hundreds of thousands of people who had no idea what’d happened. Because I’d brought it up, they figured it must’ve been important, Googled it or whatever, and all of a sudden, they’re angry and out protesting in the streets.

I can hardly begin to describe the power-high I’m on right now, but suffice it to say that _Chase_ is claiming he’s too sore to keep fucking and now, I’m set up with some lube and some sex toys so I can masturbate for maybe another hour, hour and a half.

Nothing gets me more revved up than evil, manipulative power; mine _or_ somebody else’s.

...but mostly mine, of course.  >;D


	217. 8/22/09

**8/22/09-**

My overlord has complimented me on my excessively creative use of dildos and vibrators and such last night.

This was sometime after he watched the tape I’d made for our porn collection and before he jumped me like I was the sexiest thing on two legs. ;D

In other news, Katnappé has no sexual etiquette, as she’s proven time and time again, but particularly today.

I had her over to work on the Tech Lotus Twister. I was feeling pretty good about myself, and Chase has told me many times that self-confidence is sexy on me.

Apparently, Katnappé thought so, too, once we started working.

Really, what _is_ it about me that has women constantly throwing themselves at me, these days? If I were straight, I might appreciate it, but…well. Needless to say, I’m not very straight, now, am I?

Anyways, Katnappé and I were working and out of nowhere, she starts _flirting_ with me. I tried to ignore it and be polite for a little while, but that kinda thing is hard to keep ignoring.

Eventually, it came to a head with her pressing me up against a cabinet and telling me my eyes remind her of her favorite squeaky mouse back at home and that if I had fur, it would be such a _pretty_ white.

Naturally, I get jumped by one of my least favorite females on the planet on the one day I’m not carrying a weapon of some kind on me. X(

Anyways, this went on for a little while and I struggled to get away from her, but she’s a genetically-enhanced female and I’m a normal human male of moderate physical strength, even _with_ the working out I’ve been doing, so she was kinda stronger than me.

She kept kissing me and trying to undress me despite my protests, telling me it’d be fine if I was worried about Chase ‘cause he’d probably just think it was hot: his two sluts screwing each other.

I had no doubts about that, I was sure he _would_ think it was hot. I was more worried about when she was gonna notice that she was grinding me with soaked panties and I was an unwilling recipient and completely soft.

Surprisingly enough, Chase then showed up _not_ sporting a raging boner and demanding we fuck for his amusement. Instead, he shoved Katnappé off me, snarled at her about being a terrible judge of when somebody wants to fuck you or not, and soundly booted her out for molesting me.

Needless to say, she’s not gonna be allowed back to the palace for a few days and I’m glad of it.

Chase and I had a mild argument which consisted of him demanding to know why I hadn’t called for help sooner, me telling him that I didn’t think he’d care, him incredulously verifying that I’d thought he wouldn’t stop me from being raped, and me clarifying that I thought he might’ve actually _wanted_ to see Katnappé and I doing it.

Chase then proceeded to inform me that seeing me being touched by someone else had pissed him off so much he couldn’t even _think_ about how sexy the two of us fucking should’ve been and that _any_ woman touching me wouldn’t turn him on because he knows that I would be unwilling.

Cue argument end because, really, was I _not_ supposed to suck him off for looking out for my interests like that?  <3

That’s about all that’s happened today, though. I’m thinking I might go back down to the lab to finish what was being worked on before the creepy molesty incident.


	218. 8/23/09

**8/23/09-**

I decided to hold a press conference, today.

I didn’t have to, nothing urgent was happening, and I wasn’t releasing any new products to the public.

I just kind of felt like setting the record straight about my sexuality.

Katnappé was a part of it; so were my parents and their whole reality show idea of having ladies compete for my sperm. Basically, I just felt like making sure _everybody_ knew that I strongly preferred dick to pussy and wanted the latter nowhere near me.

Of course, the fact that I’m gay has never been a secret. I wear it like a goddamn badge, going out in public with Chase on the occasional ‘date,’ answering the intermittent, ‘would you date this celebrity?’ questions (always with a ‘no,’ when it’s a woman and every once in awhile with a ‘eh, I’d think about it’ if it’s guy), and even back when Chase was being a prick and I got with Allen on the rebound for a little while.

Still, I know how some idiots work: they need things completely spelled out for them even if they’ve already been hinted at to the point that _everybody else_ knows it.

So, that’s what I did.

Me: *ahem* I would just like to take this opportunity to let everyone know that I am 100% homosexual.

Reporters: OMG, ARE YOU COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET?!

Me: No, I did that forever ago. There’s just still a lot of really dumb women who haven’t figured that out yet and want to get with me. I’m making sure they know they have absolutely no chance.

Reporters: But what about the future of the human race?!

Me: What about it?

Reporters: We _need_ your genius! How do you plan on passing your genes to the next generation?

Me: I don’t.

Reporters: *FREAK OUT*

Me: STFU. This shouldn’t be a surprise. It’s widely-known that I don’t want children. In fact, I’m being forced to take a break on my current project due to extenuating circumstances and I’m thinking I’ll use it to come up with some sort of fertility and infertility systems. People who _badly_ want kids will be able to get ‘em and people who _never_ want kids can keep it from happening.

Reporters: B-but…but what do _we_ do? How ever will we go on without your epic brain? (Note that I’m most definitely paraphrasing here to stroke my own ego, but that’s the gist of what was said.)

Me: You deal. I’m not having sex with a woman _or_ donating sperm, so you’d better hope to God I figure out immortality one of these days if you want to have a genius helping you solve your problems for the rest of your lives.

Y’know…it really is amazing how many e-mails you get from important people and plain old strangers promising all sorts of crazy and embarrassing things if you’ll just whack off in a cup for ‘em. XD

In any case, I’m confident that I’ve gotten my point across: very much gay, not interested in the ladies, not procreating; suck it, bitches.

I’m going to start looking into the fertility thing, though. Naturally, the infertility part will be done first. ;)

  



	219. 8/24/09

**8/24/09-**

Speaking of fertility, I seriously need to start keeping closer tabs on Finnian. _Seriously._

Nothing bad happened, he’s not hurt, he’s not in trouble…

But, apparently, he’s gonna be a mommy in forty to forty-four days depending on how long the mixture of rat and snake DNA decides to spend developing the offspring.

Naturally, I’m weirded out. One: Negriss and Finnian are both male and should not be physiologically able to reproduce. Two: they are of different species and should not be physiologically able to reproduce. And of course, three: WHAT THE SWEET, DING-DONG BUGGERY FUCK, THEY’RE _HAVING KIDS?!_

I said none of this to Finnian, of course: being an expecting mommy, his parental instincts and hormones and whatnot are all out of whack and I’ve been alternately hissed and cried at about four times in the space of ten minutes despite my best efforts.

Apparently, though, Negriss, at some point, decided that he wanted offspring. Because he’s with Fin, said rat was the natural choice for the rest of the needed DNA.

Negriss, being a magical snake, somehow made their reproduction work despite the genetic barriers put in place by evolution to keep different species from breeding. I can only assume these barriers were put into place because centaurs, satyrs, and minotaurs weren’t good to have around and have since died out now that bestiality-loving humans can’t make babies with animals, anymore.

Anyways, Negriss knocked himself up with their kids. He laid a few eggs a couple of days ago, which I’m not even going to begin questioning in terms of _how_ as magic is probably the blanket-answer to everything about this, and Finnian has been keeping watch over them and incubating them with his mammalian body heat.

I’m happy for the two of them ‘cause they seem happy, but…

Holy _FUCK,_ weird…!

Jeez, I wonder what Chase would think about this?

  
 **8/24/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****He’s weirded out, too! Awesome, now, I can be freaked out _with_ somebody! \O/


	220. 8/25/09

**8/25/09**

Chase and I have officially decided not to speak further about the Negriss/Finnian lovechildren until we can come to terms with it.

I foresee that they will be born and several days old before this happens.

In any case, Katnappé is still banned from the palace, so I’ve been working some more on the sterility/fertility project in the meantime. Since I’m not crazy-talented in the biogenetics field, I’m going with a nanobot approach on this.

The way I figure it, I can specially program a veritable crapload of nanites towards certain tasks depending on whether somebody wants kids or not and what gender they are.

If reproduction isn’t desired, like in my case, the nanites can go in and extract the genetic material from sperm without actually destroying it; thereby enabling a man to come without it being a dry orgasm, but without even the remote chance of knocking a member of the opposite gender up.

For a woman, who only has a limited supply of eggs, the nanites could preserve whatever egg is meant to be fertilized at the moment while simultaneously blocking any ambitious sperm trying to get to it. That way, the eggs won’t be wasted if she later decides she wants a _bunch_ of children, but she won’t end up saddled with a kid until she’s ready.

For those weird people who, for whatever crazy reason, have decided they’re ready to ruin their lives (which sorry, I just can't relate to), nanites with different programming could be used. For a guy, they could induce, like, double the normal sperm output as well as ensuring a better quality (there are occasionally some genetic mutations in a handful of sperm that make them less efficient, like screwed up tails that make them swim in a circle and stuff like that). With more and healthier sperm, a man would be more likely to get a girl pregnant.

For chicks, same thing: nanites could go in and improve the quality of existing eggs as well as maybe inducing oogenesis, which is female egg production. This’ll be kind of a breakthrough to the scientific community, because while men produce sperm all their lives, all the eggs a woman will ever have are created before birth and once they’re gone, that’s it.

Still, I don’t imagine it’d be too difficult for me to restart that process and get more eggs made for the women who want ‘em. After all, Katnappé and I already figured out how to get nerve tissue to heal with the Heal-Me Juice, and that was previously thought just as impossible as the egg thing.

It’s a good thing I still have our notes from back when we worked on that, otherwise I might not be able to figure all of this out by myself before Ms. Kittylitter is allowed back. Then, God _knows_ what I’d invent in my free time!

Either way, I’ve set up a sort of assembly-line mass production of nanobots down in the lab so that I have a bunch to work with. Once I’ve got what I think is enough, I can start experimenting with their programming and once I think I’m onto something, I can maybe round up some volunteer guinea pigs to test ‘em on.

If all goes well after that, I’m going to be the first recipient of the finalized infertility nanites. What with how in-demand my sperm seems to be these days, I’d like to know that even _if_ somebody gets ahold of it, it’ll be useless to them.

Well, as the seven dwarves might say: hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work we go!


	221. 8/26/09

**8/26/09-**

Things are going undeniably well with the infertility nanobots! I have taken to calling them Baby-Nazibots, as they shall most certainly be Naziesque in their prevention of all things baby.

Naturally, I’ve started working with the sperm neutralizing programming first, as I have a good supply of it readily available (if you catch my drift) and I’m most personally interested in _less_ fertility, not more.

As it is, I’ve been playing around with the tasks I’m giving the Baby-Nazibots and I think I’ve figured out a series that works. The bots, in the presence of sperm from a human male, will latch onto individual spermatozoa and pierce a hole into the acrosome (the protective cap on the sperm’s head) _just_ big enough to essentially vacuum out the genetic material, but small enough to avoid damaging the actual sperm. Then, the genetic material is destroyed within the bots so that there’s no chance it’ll ever be used for anything.

I’ve tested it out on some of my own jizz (outside my body, naturally; I won’t be ready to inject them into myself until I’ve tested them more fully) and everything appears to work just fine, which is most definitely a success.

I think maybe I’ll try and round up some test subjects to verify their function within a living person rather than in a petri dish. It shouldn’t be hard: there are a lot of guys out there who’d _die_ to be sterile and even more who’d _die_ to be able to say they’d personally helped the great Jack Spicer develop a groundbreaking new product.

Meh, I’ll have some bots put in a few calls. I’ll probably have hundreds of Average Joes lining up at the door by tomorrow morning.

As for now, I think I’ll go put my sperm to better use than sitting under a microscope. >;D


	222. 8/27/09

**8/27/09-**

I was _so_ right about the volunteers, though I eventually narrowed ‘em down to a hundred or so healthy guys of varying ages I could work with. I brought them to my almost entirely unused private lab at the Spicer Tech building, explained the bots, explained the procedure, explained what would be expected of them, and then asked if they had any questions before we got started.

One forty-something-year-old guy was a little nervous about it and mentioned that he and his wife were going to be trying for a baby soon; that he had only applied for the experiment because he needed the money. His concern was that he’d be _permanently_ sterile and wanted to make sure that it was reversible if it worked and made him unable to make babies.

Yeah, it’s reversible, of course it is. That’s the purpose of the bots: a form of flexible, personalized birth control more efficient than the current, largely permanent methods of vasectomies and tubal ligation.

While I haven’t worked out the super-fertility part of the programming yet in order to _enhance_ the chances for a kid, I can at the least transmit a direct order to the bots to ignore their programming if these guys don’t want to stay sterile after the experiment.

Anyways, I got the volunteers rounded up, had ‘em injected with the nanites, and then had some tests performed regarding sexual performance and fertility.

There were no mishaps or major problems. Admittedly, some of the older guys had a harder time coming more than once in rapid succession because less of their sperm is produced as quickly as in younger men. Basically, what was happening was that they would be expelling the genetically-wiped semen and would have to give themselves awhile both to make more sperm and to then let the nanites neutralize the DNA in it before being able to reach an orgasm (the bots are strictly programmed not to let any sperm out that still has genes). This wasn’t too much of an issue for the guys my age and generally under thirty, as we tend to have more semen already produced and just sitting around at any given moment, making it easier to come once and still have some genetically-blanked sperm left to come again after that.

Either way, I’ve managed to work out that little kink by upgrading the Baby-Nazibots’ overall speed so they can compensate and work quickly enough that there doesn’t have to be that lapse for the older gentlemen.

All appears to be well, though, and I’ve paid the volunteers and sent them on their merry ways with a number they can call to set up an appointment if anything goes wrong or if they want the nanites disabled at any time in the future. I don’t predict I’ll be getting many calls from unsatisfied customers, but it makes them feel better to have a number to call just in case.

I think it might be time to test my bots personally.


	223. 8/28/09

**8/28/09**

Oh, yeah, I do _good_ work.

I decided to give the Baby-Nazibots a self-test now that they’ve proven safe and effective for humans. Then, to test them in action, I went and found Chase.

We fucked for about five hours. I did not perform in a lackluster manner, my sexual desire was not reduced, my stamina remained high, and it was _good._

I was pretty happy with the results, but I figured I should get a second opinion and asked Chase if the sex felt any different or worse than usual. I was promptly assured that no, I was excellent in bed as always, couldn’t I tell from the four cigars he’d smoked already, and why on Earth would I have even asked that?

I told him about the nanites and explained that I just wanted to make sure they had no negative effects on actual sex before I began using them on myself permanently.

Chase: Why use them at all? It isn’t as if you’ll be having sex with someone you can make children with anytime in the near future.

Me: There’ve been some close calls, lately, and I’d rather be overcautious than not cautious enough. Besides, life is already a globally-spread sexually-transmitted disease: I’m just doing my part to keep it from spreading any further.

And then, Chase laughed and things quickly dissolved into more sex. ;D


	224. 8/29/09

**8/29/09-**

Today, I’ve been busy with the female infertility bots.

Of course, I _could_ have kept working with the male bots and switched over to the fertility end of the spectrum, but I have priorities: if I can only get one thing done with these, I'd rather it be options for both men and women to _not_ have babies as opposed to having _more_ babies.

Hence, infertility will be finished for both genders first before fertility is even touched on.

Well, that, and the ‘no-babies’ half of the female bots’ programming is much, much, _much_ easier than the ‘lots of babies’ half. I’m _capable_ of doing both, but for now, I’m gonna work with the easier one.

So, yeah, this one: easy in terms of programming. Chicks have their limited supply of eggs, and once a month, one of ‘em drops down and floats around in their…downstairs set up ( _really_ don’t want to think too deeply into what that is, so I’m gonna avoid some of the grittier terms for things) during ovulation. If it’s not fertilized in 24 hours, the egg dies, no baby can come of it, and once the rest of the woman’s body realizes, “Hey, there’s no fertilized egg implanted in the uterus,” it sheds the uterine lining, hence blood once a month.

…I just stared at this page for five straight minutes trying to forget all the stuff I just wrote about. Blah. XP

Anyways! So, all that happens, and what I’ve programmed the female nanites to do is to keep those eggs from dying after 24 hours by providing them with nutrients and protecting them from any sort of threat that might otherwise kill them. In addition to keeping the eggs safe from anything that might hurt them and preventing them from going to the uterus to be flushed out of the body and onto a tampon, these bots are also vicious man-haters: they have been given strict orders to destroy anything with a tail and genetic material that gets anywhere _near_ them.

Basically, they’ve been fully trained and equipped for spermicide and they’re _good_ at what they do.

Now, since I’m not a female nor am I eager to call in any females I know to help me test these out before I involved other people, my only outlet for testing is going to be volunteers.

My bots are putting in some more calls as I write this, and I imagine I’ll at least have _enough_ test subjects to work with if not a surplus as I did with men.

I wonder what sort of woman it is that directly opposes family values and wants to deny herself the joyful pleasure of a child being birthed from her body and then the love and pride she would feel as she raises that child and watches him learn and grow to an adult in her keeping…?

I can only imagine that would be a woman who hasn't let herself get totally brainwashed by society.


	225. 8/30/09

**8/30/09-**

I got an interesting batch of women to work with, today.

So, more women than I was expecting volunteered. I guess I was assuming that there weren’t any women left who _weren’t_ trained that they _must_ settle down and have children regardless of whether or not they actually want any.

Now, lemme just say that I respect mothers: it takes a _lot_ of balls to do what they do and kudos to them for doing it without any physical testes.

However. I _don’t_ respect these women that become mothers to get attention or because they’ve been brainwashed into thinking that’s what they’re supposed to do.

On the one hand, with the women who have kids so people pay attention to them, I am disgusted. These females are obviously not mature enough to have children if their reason for having one is _not_ that they’re ready for one and genuinely _want_ to be a mom, but rather that people will throw them baby showers and buy them gifts for the new baby and everyone will focus on _them._ It’s sickening to me that these women will go so far as to bring a life into the world that they _don’t really want_ just for attention.

Sometimes, I imagine that’s the reason _I_ was conceived: I wouldn’t put it past mom in a million years.

On the _other_ hand, I deeply pity the women who only have kids out of a feeling of obligation. Today’s culture tells little girls and young women that it’s alright to be independent now and for a few years, but then, you’re supposed to find a good man or at least one that’ll marry you and make babies with him that you’ll have to take care of for the rest of your life. If you had plans greater than being a mom, like starting your own business or traveling around the world or any kind of dream you wanted to follow, that’s over for you, now, and you’re never gonna get to experience that.

Now, keep in mind I understand that some women (and men) _love_ children. They think they’re cute and sweet and great and they’re _happy_ to fill their lives with child-rearing.

I understand that, and more power to ‘em. Just ‘cause _I_ don’t want any kids doesn’t mean I’m going to criticize them for having ‘em.

It’s the people that don’t want kids and have them anyways that I’m criticizing.

Anywho, I went off on a tangent. I got my volunteers of varying ages, races, etc., thanked them for coming, told them what was gonna be happening, assured them that if they wanted it reversed immediately after the testing, it would be done, and asked if there were any questions.

I got a few gems in that department.

Woman: Yeah, what’s the point of making these for women? We’ve heard you made some for men that work; why do women need to keep from getting pregnant when the men don’t have working sperm anymore?

Me: Hmm. It says on your chart that you had your first child at sixteen, am I correct?

Woman: …yes.

Me: Alright, now if you don’t mind my asking, what was it the kid’s dad said to you right before he knocked you up? ‘Yeah, baby, I’ll put on a condom, don’t worry about it,’ or ‘I don’t have a condom, but it’s okay: I’ll just pull out.’

Woman: ……

Me: I’ll take your silence to mean I’m close. My point being, men can and will lie to you for quick sex, even if they don’t want kids, either. ‘Yeah, baby, I had my nanites set to sterile, sure,’ or ‘I don’t have a condom, but it’s okay: I’ve got nanites’ are gonna be some of the stuff they’ll be saying in the future to get you to fuck ‘em. Unfortunately, not all of them _will_ have nanites and not all of them _will_ have those nanites set on infertility. This way, you can be responsible for what goes on in your own body and you won’t have to trust it all to somebody else whose only concern is that you have sex with them _right now._ Make sense?

Woman: …yes, Mr. Spicer, it does.

Me: Good.

Then, testing proceeded.

Surprisingly, there weren’t any major hang-ups like I thought there’d be due to my willful ignorance of most female anatomy. The nanites worked just like they were supposed to and killed any sperm that got near an egg and were able to preserve the existing eggs fairly well.

The good thing about having a bunch of women to choose from is that they’re all in different places in the ovulation cycle, so I was able to see how well the nanobots were able to latch onto eggs of different ages and vitalize them to the ability of longtime preservation.

One woman, a fifty-two-year-old British lady was on her last egg. Like, literally her _last_ one, and it was a few hours from biting the dust.

The nanites got to it before that could happen and essentially pulled it back from the edge.

So, yeah, either way, the testing went pretty well in terms of their intended function and can make a woman infertile without destroying her ability to get pregnant later if she so desires.

Tube-tying can go fuck itself, I am a _genius._ XD

I imagine tomorrow, I’ll do some work on the male fertility bots and save the female fertility stuff for last, but for now, I’m gonna go find Chase.

I’ve been around a bunch of _women_ all day long, I need to be near something I find sexy, dammit!  <3


	226. 8/31/09

**8/31/09-**

Well, if today wasn’t the definition of a clusterfuck, I don’t know what is.

So, apparently, some important people managed to get wind of the fact that I’m working on an infertility thing; good for them, I mentioned it openly at a press conference, it wasn’t a secret.

Still, these higher-ups found out about it and started mentioning it to other important people, who mentioned it to other important people, who eventually mentioned it to Kim’s dad. Mr. Tohomiko then found a few minutes to talk with his daughter about it, and then, the next thing I know, I’m being kidnapped by the monks and dragged to a government research facility.

…Yeah. XP

I found out pretty quickly what was going on when they locked me in a room with some chick who declared that “she was ovulating,” as if that would arouse me, somehow.

Apparently, these important government types wanted to _force_ me to make a kid with some woman before I sterilized myself.

Good luck with that, right?

I would’ve explained as much right away, but nobody was listening to me and the chick kept trying to force herself on me, so I was in a constant state of trying to keep a comfortable distance between the two of us: namely, her vagina as _far away as possible_ from my penis.

At one point, the officials or whatever got tired of the run-around and sent some guys in to _forcibly_ tie me up so I couldn’t fight the woman off. Then, they realized that as long as I could _see_ a naked woman with boobs, a vagina, and no penis anywhere in sight, I would not get hard. Like, physically _couldn’t._ No matter how long she touched me or put her mouth on me, the hardest I ever got was the consistency of play dough that’s been left out a few hours.

They solved this problem by blindfolding me. Yay. X(

At that point, I just started hysterically screaming anti-feminist crap that would’ve had Omi saying, “Wow, that went a little far.”

It worked for awhile: it’s an extreme turnoff for a woman to be told that she’s too stupid to function in the workplace outside of the home and that she’d best get back in the kitchen and make me a sammich.

Of course, it didn’t take her long to realize I didn’t mean any of what I was saying and was just saying it to keep her the _FUCK_ away from me, and then, I was just about screwed.

I screamed as loud and as high-pitched as I could possibly manage and then, while the chick was probably reeling and holding her ears to stop the bleeding, one of the government people in charge came on an intercom.

Official: Mr. Spicer, we ask that you please stop fighting this. The insemination must take place.

Me: FUCK, NO, IT DOESN’T! LEMME _OUT_ OF HERE, DAMMIT!

Official: It is for the greater good of mankind that you reproduce, Mr. Spicer, and if you won’t do so willingly, we’re prepared to make you.

Me: SO, YOU’RE PAYING SOMEONE TO _RAPE ME_ FOR ‘THE GOOD OF MANKIND’?!

Official: If need be, yes. We must see to it that you impregnate a woman before you make yourself infertile.

Me: Well, GOOD FUCKING LUCK WITH THAT, ASSHOLE, ‘CAUSE I’M ALREADY SHOOTING BLANKS!

Official: …what?

Me: Yeah, that’s right, you heard me: I’m sterile, dammit! I’ve _been_ sterile for _days,_ now! I’m currently the only person on the planet that’s capable of unsterilizing myself, and in light of _this_ fiasco, I’m not really inclined to do as much!

I would’ve _loved_ to have stayed and heard what sort of piss-poor incentive those people might’ve given me to undo my infertility, but that was about when Chase showed up, took off my blindfold, and ripped away the steel bands that held my hands down as if they were paper.

Yeah, it turns out it doesn’t make Heylin overlords very happy when you steal their consorts and try to have them raped.

Chase handily proceeded to tell whoever had kidnapped me all the things that were wrong with what they were trying to do, informed them that they were screwing with someone, or rather some _thing_ that they did not fully grasp, and that if they knew what was good for them, they’d never lay a hand on me _ever_ again.

Then, he took me home.

We fucked for a little while because holy _hell,_ did I need a _man_ to fuck me to stop thinking about women trying to do the same, and then, we cuddled so I could get it in my head that it was _over_ and I was _home,_ again.

Once that fact settled in, I went straight over to Guan’s temple and found the monks.

I punched them each directly in the face for the day of pain and suffering, except for Kimiko, who I backhanded because it’s not PC to punch a girl.

They were _going_ to fight back, but Chase had come with me and stopped them, letting them know that after what they’d put me through by kidnapping me, they were _lucky_ I was calling it even after smacking them in the face.

Oh, man…I am seriously glad I’m using my nanobots, now. I can’t imagine how much worse today might’ve gone if I’d been virile.

I might've been a _father_ in nine months' time. *shudder*

Still, I’m _home_ and I’m safe, both of which I’m very glad for and I’m thinking I might celebrate by drinking copious amounts of alcohol with Chase.


	227. 9/1/09

**9/1/09-**

Holy bejesus, do I love my overlord.

So, in light of yesterday’s incident with the monks kidnapping me, Chase suggested that I sterilize them before they can breed.

Me: How the hell am I gonna get them to agree to that?

Chase: You aren’t. You’re just going to _do_ it.

Me: Wait…y’mean you want me to make them sterile without their consent or knowledge so they’ll _stay_ that way?

Chase: Think of it as a favor to me. I fear the worst of _offspring_ coming of these Fake Good abominations Fung and Guan have trained: I run the risk of being overthrown and replaced.

Me: LOL! No sooner said than done, babe! *smooch*

Surprisingly enough, Chase did not rip my head off for calling him ‘babe.’ Admittedly, he swatted me rather hard on the ass and ordered me to, “get to work, sweet-cheeks,” but considering the fact of the matter, that that nickname would likely get anybody else tortured for centuries before being allowed the sweet release of death, I feel quite privileged. ;3

Anyway, it’s been done: I’ve sent out my Chameleonbot packed with enough sterility nanites for two males and one female and specific instructions as to _which_ two males and one female they are meant to go to. It’ll be going in the shape of a cute, little puppy that, of course, the Xiaolin will take in out of the goodness of their hearts.

One by one, the ‘puppy’ is going to bite them and inject them with the appropriate nanobots, and what happens after that, I don’t really care about. Either they’ll throw the Chameleonbot out for being an aggressive dog and take it to a shelter or something, or they’ll pass the bites off as healthy puppy playfulness and let it stay. If it’s the former scenario, my bot has strict orders to wait until the monks and any other humans are out of sight before changing shape and coming back. If it’s the latter case, it has strict orders to get out of sight of the monks and _then_ change shape and come back.

No matter which of the two happen, those Xiaolin failtards will have no idea that they’ve been injected with nanites. Since they don’t _know_ about the nanites, they won’t come looking for me and try to smack me around until I reverse it for them, and they’ll remain unable to reproduce for life.

Mmm, why does _that_ turn me on? Oh…right…evil makes me horny.  >;D

*goes in search of Chase!* <3


	228. 9/2/09

**9/2/09-**

Katnappé’s _still_ not allowed back in the palace. How do I know this?

Because she showed up today only to be soundly booted out without a word.

Chase spared _me_ the explanation that he does not take lightly to the sexual assault of his minion and that the absolute _soonest_ he’ll agree to let her back in is after I finish with my current nanite-project, which’ll be a couple more days at least.

Really, try to find me crying over my ultimate despair regarding Catbitch’s absence: I’m seriously broken up into teeny-tiny pieces about it.

Anyways, I managed to finish up the male fertility bots today ‘cause of how easy they were. Really, it’s just a matter of programming them to release the right chemicals to make the body produce more semen than it normally would and making sure the inefficient and/or broken sperms are eliminated.

Again, I tested the bots out using some of my own sperm because even though the infertility nanites are already acting on it and there’s no DNA involved, the programming sets don’t _directly_ conflict with each other, so the effect was essentially the same as if I were as potent as the average guy.

It appeared to work just fine and my output of blanks was tripled before I had the fertility bots removed so the sterility bots could do their own thing by themselves. I don’t _need_ extra sperm if I’m not gonna be able to knock anybody up with it, so there’s no point in keeping two sets of nanobots in me at one time, y’know?

Of course, I’m still gonna do some testing like I’ve done with everything else so far. If there’s any bugs, I wanna catch ‘em and weed ‘em out in the off-chance that something _does_ go wrong and some fucktard tries to sue me out of half my fortune or something.

Still, I’m not doing that today. I’ve done enough things, today. I’m gonna chill out for the rest of the evening, I think.


	229. 9/3/09

**9/3/09-**

Okay, I’ve got stuff to do in, like, ten minutes, but I’m capable of getting to the Spicer Tech building in a matter of seconds thanks to the Tech-GTCs, so I have enough time to jot this down while I can.

I just had a _weird_ morning, _weird_ in that I just gave a former monk spiritual counseling.

Yeah… o.0

So, anyways, I was in bed sleeping, ‘cause it was early and I had no reason to be awake prior to 5:00 AM, and then, all of a sudden, I feel pawing at my blankets.

Omi was there next to the bed just staring up at me.

Here’s a basic summary of what happened:

Me: …the fuck? *glances over at Chase, still asleep with his back to me* Okay, if Chase is still sleeping, it’s _early._ What d’you want?

Omi: Jack Spicer, I require counsel.

Me: Alright, well, in case you haven’t noticed, this is _my_ side of the bed. Chase is on the other side, but honestly, I’d recommend not waking him up no matter _what_ your problem is. It can wait a couple hours, I assure you.

Omi: I do not wish to speak with…my…

Me: Just call him ‘master,’ cheeseball: the sooner you start, the sooner you get used to it, the better things’ll be for all parties involved.

Omi: …I have not come seeking counsel with my _master,_ I have come seeking counsel with _you._

Me: ……the fuck would you do that for?

Omi: I cannot speak with Chase Young about this! I feel…dissatisfied with my life and fear that if I tell him so, he will think I am trying to escape him!

Me: SHHH, shut up! *looks back at Chase, who appears to still be sleeping* _Don’t_ you wanna escape him?

Omi: No. It is a matter of honor that I stay after…what my companions and I did to you. I will not try to leave.

Me: *sigh* You’re unhappy?

Omi: Yes. I feel that my karma is not what it should be and wish to remedy that.

Me: You realize you’re owned by one of the most evil men in the universe, right?

Omi: It is not that. M…master does not make me fight in battles, nor does he force me to do Heylin things. I only…fear that I am too capable of them.

Me: *drags a pillow over head* God, it’s too early for this… Right Action.

Omi: …what?

Me: You’re a Buddhist, right? Four Noble Truths, Eightfold Path, karma and all that?

Omi: Yes…

Me: Well, Right Action: you need to work on it. In whatever training and learning you’ve done in terms of the Eightfold Path, you made it past the first three just fine. You’ve got Right View, you’ve got Right Intention, and for once in your life, you’ve got Right Speech. Right Action is where things go a little hazy for you.

Omi: But…but I have never engaged in sexual misconduct or taken life!

Me: But you have stolen Shen Gong Wu, and physically harmed others specifically for that reason. Two big no-nos of Right Action are stealing and bringing harm to living beings. You need to work on that part.

Omi: O.O You…you are right…

Me: Well, I _am_ a genius.

Omi: *leaps up to the bed, licks me like crazy* Oh, thank you, Jack Spicer, your counsel has proven most helpful! I shall go meditate on my actions right now! *leaves*

Me: …great. *attempts to go back to sleep*

I never ended up getting back to sleep, ‘cause of course, Chase had been awake and listening to the entire conversation, rolled over, declared that there were so many things he liked about that exchange of words that he couldn’t even pinpoint them all, and then proceeded to do extremely naughty things to me.

Apparently, being able to speak about philosophy in depth is a turn on for Chase, as is subtly encouraging his minions to continue accepting his rule.

Anyways, I gotta go do some nanite-testing, like, now. I’m late, but fuck it, the volunteers can wait: _I’m_ the guy who’s paying them, right?


	230. 9/4/09

**9/4/09-**

The testing went fine yesterday. Like I’d thought, there were no bugs and all the nanites did once injected was take inventory of the existing amount of sperm, effectively triple it, and then go dormant until such a time when the current batch of semen is expelled and they have to do their stuff again.

No problems with that, everything’s hunky-dory.

Afterwards, I was treated to much sexy-making in my office when Chase showed up to see why I hadn’t come home yet. It was, of course, awesome except for that one point when Frankie burst in unannounced, which was awkward, but _aside_ from that: great.

Today, I _should_ be working on the female fertility bots, but…eh, I’m not really feeling it. I’m not sure if it’s laziness or my apprehension to do something that’s not gonna come easy to me, but I am just _really_ not into tackling those today.

Instead, I’ve decided to play a… _game_ with my overlord.

Three years ago today, Steve Irwin died. In commemoration of that, I’m going to go about my day normally, but pepper in phrases such as, ‘Crikey!’ and otherwise speaking with an Australian accent at random points in the day.

The goal is to see how many instances of this I can get away with before I get smacked upside the head. >=3

 

 **9/4/09 (UPDATED)-**

The answer is thirty-two. XD


	231. 9/5/09

**9/5/09-**

So, after spending yesterday screwing with Chase, I decided to make it up to him and dragged him out for a fun evening today.

I’m never completely sure what sort of outings will please him, so I just decided on something with an air of sophistication, but an amusing subject matter.

So, I took us to London to see a play called ‘Fucking Men’ about just that. XD

In any case, I liked it. It had its funny moments as well as some deep, thought-provoking subject matter relating to gay rights and stereotypes and such, and the _eye-candy_ …! I mean, the opening scene was a bunch of half-naked guys in a steam room and none of ‘em were all that lacking in sexiness. I’d have wolf-whistled if Chase hadn’t been sitting right next to me and might’ve taken it as an affront to his own attractiveness (which he has nothing to worry about; the guys were hot, but _definitely_ not hotter than him).

Chase seemed to enjoy the outing and was easily coaxed into having dinner at one of the local restaurants. Things were going pretty good…

…until the paparazzi found us. X(

And, oh, boy, did they have some interesting questions! Remember the other day when Chase and I had most mweeful sex in my office?

Well, apparently, they got pictures. Quite a few pictures, at that if the veritable photo-album they were waving in my face was any indication.

Now, keep in mind that we were in _London._ The Spicer Tech building is in _China._

If the paparazzi in London have the pictures, they’re all over the world by now, which means I’ve got some damage control to take care of soon.

Meh, I’ll schedule another press conference or something tomorrow and try to sort this all out. In the meantime, I think I’m gonna go find Chase for some after-dinner entertainment.

It’s inconvenient that everybody knows explicitly about our fucking, but it’s _such_ a turn-on that as many people will be dying of lust and jealousy at how sexy we are and that we’re fucking _each other_ instead of _them._ >;D


	232. 9/6/09

**9/6/09-**

Well, today was certainly interesting.

Of course, the first thing to come up at the press conference was the fact of the matter: the actual sex-having of which the photographs in question were concerned.

Reporters: What do you have to say about this shocking photo release?

Me: Not too terribly much. Just that I’m not really liking the stalkerish lengths these people go to in order to take pictures of me. As for the shocking part, it really shouldn’t be. I’ve _told_ you people I’m gay, these pictures are just proof that I wasn’t lying.

Then, naturally, some soccer mom coalition or something stood up and tried to bitch me out.

SMC: How _dare_ you expose our children to such filth?! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!

Me: Oh, like you’ve never had sex? You claim to have children: you _must_ have fucked somebody at least _once._

SMC: We have had sex, but we have the decency to do it behind closed doors, where impressionable young minds can’t be exposed to it! (Translation: we don’t want our kids to catch ‘The Gay’)

Me: My doors _were_ closed! I was enjoying my sex life in what I had believed to be complete privacy! If I’d have done it in the middle of a public park or a playground or something, _then_ I’d understand you guys being mad, but I _didn’t._ Do you know where I was when those pictures were taken?

SMC: …no…

Me: I was in my office! In my private building! On the 25th floor, which is the very top one in case you weren’t aware! The people who took those pictures went _way_ out of their way and camped out on a nearby building with a telescopic lens on their camera _just_ to take photos of me sitting around in my office. It just so happened that on the day in question, I _wasn’t_ just sitting around and those pictures were spread, without my knowledge or consent, to the general public. But, god forbid you actually do a little research on the thing you’re going to protest before just barging into a press conference and chewing me out on the false assumption that I _want_ sexually-explicit pictures of myself and my lover available to anyone and everyone, including creepy jerkwads that will masturbate to them in their mothers’ basements. I am, naturally, the bad guy here.

SMC: …… *quietly sit back down*

Eventually, things were sorted out and it was made very much public knowledge that I did _not_ approve of the circulation of those photographs and doubtlessly, the governments of the world will be pulling a Big Brother and having all physical copies destroyed and as many digital copies as they can find deleted.

I _must_ be kept happy, of course.  >=D

After that, I got some questions about Chase, which I’d been expecting: some of the pictures that were taken revealed some supernatural qualities about him that I’m _sure_ the people in power are dying to know about.

Still, I was prepared.

Reporters: Mr. Spicer, we’re grateful for your time, but we would like to hear from your lover, as well.

Chase: *gets ready to step forward and deny the right to speak with him*

Jack: *stops him* No, I’m sorry, that’s not possible. My lover has a mental disorder that prevents that.

Chase: *offended*

Reporters: What? What mental disorder?

Jack: Yeah, it’s really weird, but his condition keeps him from speaking to anyone with an IQ of 70 or under. He just physically _can’t._

Chase: *no longer offended, but rather, amused*

Jack: Okie-doke, press conference over: I’ve said all I’m gonna say.

And then, we left. I have to wonder how long it took the ones that _did_ eventually get it to realize that I’d said Chase couldn’t talk to them because he doesn’t speak to retards, but I’m pretty sure it was more than a couple of hours and involved Googling of some kind. XD

Anywho, I’m pretty confident that the bulk of the photo-issue has been resolved. Anything after this, I’ll deal with as it comes.


	233. 9/7/09

**9/7/09-**

This morning at breakfast, my overlord subtly prodded me to go finish my nanite project and so today, that’s all I’ve been working on.

I _think_ I’m finished with the last component, the female fertility bots. In virtual simulations, they work just fine: they’re able to preserve eggs just like their sterility predecessors, but _un_ like them, they don’t kill off any sperm that gets close. Besides that, I’ve looked over Katnappé and I’s notes from the Heal-Me Juice, particularly the parts where we figured out how to make nerve tissue regenerate (which it _does not do_ on its own; the reason why people can be crippled for life).

I think I’ve implemented a good program into the nanites that can kinda mimic and alter certain chemicals in the environment in order to…well, I guess to ‘trick’ that part of the body into thinking it’s a fetus, at least in effect. By doing that, it’ll start up egg production again until such a time when there are more than a handful available for fertilization. Then, women can be fertile longer, which’ll push back the average age for menopause, etc, etc.

Of course, there’ll still be doctors around with which women can consult and be advised against children if their bodies are too old to handle child-bearing, but if they stay fit and don’t have any health problems, even some older women previously told that kids were unlikely will be able to get knocked up.

I’ve already had volunteers called and signed up, and in the interests of finally finishing this side-project off, I’m gonna go deal with them right now.

 

 **9/7/09 (UPDATED)-**

Alright, everything seems to be okay in terms of the nanites. They did exactly what they were supposed to without any major hiccups, for which I am glad.

I dabbled outside of my usual field of science and _succeeded:_ awesome! \O/

However, judging on the responses of the volunteers, the bots did what they were supposed to do, but not everything they’re _wanted_ to do.

The nanites can’t really help the women who have hit and passed menopause. As it turns out, in order to successfully stimulate a woman’s reproductive set-up into undergoing oogenesis again, there’s gotta be at least one existing egg. Without that egg (or eggs), the bots can’t properly take account of what it is they’re meant to be stimulating, and so they can’t help egg-production.

Now, this could be considered a design flaw. Some could argue that the product doesn’t work as suggested if it can’t make _all_ women be able to have children indiscriminately of natural processes.

However. I think it could also be argued that women past menopause maybe _shouldn’t_ be having kids. I’m sure I could find scores of doctors willing to go on record and back me up as describing women of such an age as unsafe for pregnancies and likely to damage both themselves and the infant should they try to go through with it.

I could fix this discrepancy in the bots’ programming if I _really_ wanted to. Honestly, though? I _don’t_ want to. I think it’s safer for the human race and for my sanity that not _every_ woman of _every_ age breeds uncontrollably.

So, essentially, I’ll just slap a disclaimer on these stating that they won’t work for females past menopause and be done with it.

Unfortunately, being just about done with my side-project means, as I’m sure Chase intended, that I’m going to have to get back to the Tech-Lotus Twister with Katnappé.

And just when I was really enjoying the break from her, too. *sigh*

Ah, well. Nothing for it. I’ll call her tonight and let her know that she can come over tomorrow without having to face a royally pissed off dragonlord.

In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy Chase while I still have him to myself. <3


	234. 9/8/09

**9/8/09-**

Well. I’ve gotta wonder how many people know how heart-stoppingly horrifying it is to be in a mine during a gas explosion.

One of those people is now me thanks to today. I’m sure that requires some explanation, so here goes.

So, _early_ this morning, Katnappé shows up and we go straight to work. It takes awhile to get into the swing of things, again, after the break, but we make it happen and get some stuff done.

Then, out of nowhere, Chase shows up in the lab, grabs hold of me, and ‘ports us to Pingdingshan (which is really the name of a city; who knew!), specifically to a coal mine where an important Shen Gong Wu had gone active.

As we were entering the mine and tracking the thing down, Chase explained to me that it was called the Diamond Mirror, and when used, it can essentially duplicate an opponent’s greatest attribute. For the two of us, it would mean the monks would have access to my crazy-awesome genius or Chase’s crazy-awesome strength or magic (whichever of the two the Wu decides is greatest).

Naturally, this is unwanted, so it was kind of important that we get it first.

Well, eventually, we found the fucker after smooth-talking the miners to not take issue with our being there _and_ to tell us anything they might’ve seen that looked like it, and we were _so_ close to grabbing it and leaving.

Then, the failtards showed up, AKA the Xiaolin monks.

Of course, they didn’t take into account the close quarters that made it a bad place to pick a fight. They didn’t seem to care too much about all the civilians crowding up the place. They most _certainly_ didn’t realize that the mine in question was in China, which is notorious for the deadliness of their mines with a major reason being the lack of ventilation and fire control equipment.

They sent Kimiko at us, fists a’blazing.

Now, I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but her control of fire is _crap._ Frankie has finesse. He knows how to skillfully manipulate flame to his will and can make it perform some of the most delicate tasks imaginable.

With Tohomiko, it’s just a spray of indiscriminate fire in as many directions as possible.

There was, apparently, a gas leak from somewhere, because there was an immediate explosion.

I don’t remember much about what happened after that, ‘cause it gets kinda hazy from my end of things. There was fire, there was an explosion, there were screams, there were very ominous noises that threatened immediate death if not gotten the _hell_ away from.

All I really remember is latching onto Chase for dear life, which in retrospect, was probably the safest course of action I could’ve taken had I consciously thought about it. The day Chase Young lets himself be done in by an explosion is the day I decide sunbathing is a good idea, so he was the safest bet in terms of survival.

He didn’t let me down, of course, ‘cause the next thing I knew, we were back at the palace, Chase already having squirreled the Diamond Mirror away somewhere safe and then ordering his cats to make me some tea to calm me down before my heart exploded.

 _Jesus,_ but it was scary! I don’t know how these miners can go to work every day and _not_ shit their pants in mere anticipation of an on-the-job accident.

I’m just glad I went into an infinitely safer, white-collar job.

Katnappé left sometime while we were getting the Wu. Either way, she left a note saying what she’d worked on in my absence and letting me know when she’d be over tomorrow to work some more.

I can’t help but wonder if it makes me a bad person that I’m hoping the monks died in that mining accident they caused.

I sure as hell hope so.


	235. 9/9/09

**9/9/09-**

Okay, so, I’m deaf.

Not completely, of course, and my Medbot assures me it’s very much temporary, but still, the point remains that I’m having quite a bit of trouble hearing things on my own, right now.

No surprise, really. That explosion yesterday…? Was _loud._ Chase and I are lucky to be able to hear _at all._

Speaking of Chase, the Loud Noise of Ow-Making, naturally, hit him harder than me. His hearing is a lot more sensitive than mine, which helps in most situations, but when it comes to noises that loud, it gets painful.

I’m quite dissatisfied to report that my overlord is in bed, in the dark and fighting with what seems to be a vicious headache caused by the aftereffects of the explosion that _still_ has his ears ringing.

Of course, I’ve got Heal-Me Juice being tailored to the both of us to speed up the natural undeafening, but in the meantime, I made some quick hearing aids for the both of us so that we can actually understand what the other is saying without screaming ourselves hoarse and I’ve been waiting on Chase hand-and-foot since this morning.

It comes naturally: I _am_ the minion, and for the first time ever, the one with better hearing. Well, that, and a migraine isn’t currently threatening to crack _my_ skull open.

Katnappé came over at about noon, but I told her that I was busy with work and would be for possibly the rest of the day, but that if she wanted to work by herself for a few hours, I wouldn’t stop her.

Bella wandered by and let me know that she left some twenty minutes ago and had asked her to give me a brief update on what she’d done and what she wanted me to do if I found time for it. She also relayed the message that since actual _work_ hasn’t really gotten done between the two of us these past couple of days due to extenuating circumstances, she wouldn’t be over tomorrow or anytime in the next week unless I called and told her _for sure_ that nothing was going to come up.

Pfft. Prima donna, but I see her point.

Anyways, I’m making Chase some tea and I’ve got blueberry _and_ chocolate chip muffins in the oven. Yeah, yeah, I know _muffins,_ but really, what are muffins but ugly cupcakes?

…Which reminds me, if I keep writing I’m gonna end up with burnt muffins. I sure as hell doubt that burnt muffins will be much of a treat for a growly, headachy dragonlord.

*flees to rescue the ugly cupcakes!*


	236. 9/10/09

**9/10/09-**

Holy crap, I can _hear_ again! It really is funny how you don’t miss simple, white noise sounds until you _can’t hear them_ anymore.

But, the Heal-Me Juice has proven itself awesome, as usual, and both Chase and I are in tip-top shape once again!

In light of this, I have had Katnappé over and gotten quite a bit of work done regarding the Tech-Lotus Twister, so yay for that. I’m kind of eager to get the damn thing over with at this point. _How_ long have I been working on it with Catbitch? Seriously, I can’t even remember. I’d flip back through my journal to see the exact date I started work on it, but I really don’t care that much, so fuck that.

On another, unrelated note, Frankie called today to let me know Richie’s birthday is coming up on the 18th. In honor of Foley’s supreme geekiness and desire to dress up like his favorite comic-book superhero or whatever, it will be a costume affair and both Chase and I are invited.

So, so, _so_ many possibilities…! I’ve got a little more than a week to narrow down the hundreds of costume ideas floating through my head to just two that I like and that Chase will not hate. XD

I think I’d like us to match somehow, or at least have a common theme. That way, people will take one look at us and _know_ we’re with each other.

Hopefully, our costumes can also be something sexy so that they’ll know we’re there with each other, and also die in jealousy for that very fact. >=D

I guess it’d be a good idea to make a list of my ideas, or maybe some kind of--

Oh…hello, what’s this? I hear footsteps approaching my room and my Consort Sense is going _nuts._

Could it be that Chase finally read the diary entry I transcribed for him yesterday and has come to collect on my offer…? ****

**9/10/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****It could be and it most definitely _was._ >;3


	237. 9/11/09

**9/11/09-**

So, I spent today in relatively equal parts hanging out with Chase and working with Slutbag—oh, whoops, I meant Kantappé.

On the more interesting front, I’ve brought up Richie’s party to Chase. He wasn’t too keen on letting me go by myself or even going _with_ me to a silly event like that…at first.

Then, of course, I mentioned to him that I wanted us to go dressed sexy-like and was not even _considering_ dragging him along dressed as Natasha Fatale with myself as Boris Badenov. (Even though it would _totally_ work. I’ve got a trench coat already and know where I could find the hat, and did you know Boris’s eyes were originally red? I’m already pale enough to handle the skin-tone thing, and don’t even _try_ to convince me Chase wouldn’t look awesome in a dress with some grapefruits or something to fill out the chest. We could pull it off _so_ easy and--!)

Cutting into this parenthetical monologue, I feel I must take this liberty to inform all reading that my Consort is more mentally deficient than he lets on if he thinks for one second I will allow us to be seen in public as Boris and Natasha. And yes, Spicer, I _will_ give you your diary back, so long as you promise to stop scheming ridiculous schemes in it!

SO NOW THAT CHASE HAS SO KINDLY RETURNED MY JOURNAL TO ME AFTER READING OVER MY SHOULDER, I can get back to actually chronicling something.

Chase: Not so funny when _your_ diary is being messed with, eh?

Me: XP

Blah. Anyways, yes, Richie’s birthday: Chase has agreed to go so long as we make it a point to look so sexy and awesome that at least _one_ person there will go home and cry for hours over how they’ll never _be_ as beautiful or _find_ someone as beautiful as we are.

I was hoping to do as much, anyways, so I didn’t mind agreeing to that condition. ;D

However, now that Chase is on board, another thousand ideas have been added onto my preexisting ideas, so we’re gonna have to talk about it some more and try to narrow down a few choices over which we can debate.

Ah, well. Neither of us are very indecisive people: I doubt we’ll have any problems picking something out by the 18th.

In the meantime, because of that little stunt Chase pulled a few minutes ago, I’m going to bed _without_ having sex with him!

……okay, well, maybe just a _little_ bit of sex…


	238. 9/12/09

**9/12/09-**

Boy, would American politicians and citizens be pissed off at me in light of what I realized just happened.

Anybody remember that yesterday was the 11th? And that the current month is September?

Yep, that’s right: I totally forgot about September 11th, the day when we’re supposed to honor the brave men and women who died about eight years ago yesterday or sometime in the aftermath.

Um…whoops? ^^;

Well, either way, the only person who knows that it completely slipped my mind is Chase, and he remembered, but found he didn’t care much, either, and found that it wasn’t worth mentioning.

I’m kind of inclined to agree, honestly. I mean, I understand what a tragedy it was and am all for honoring the memory of those who died in the plane crashes or those who died trying to save people trapped under rubble and whatnot, but…

Well, I guess I don’t know if dwelling on it as excessively as Americans have been doing is the right way to honor them. If these people were truly good people, which I’m sure many remaining family members will be happy to testify to, I can’t see them wanting everybody to keep thinking about them every year on the anniversary of the attacks.

 _I_ wouldn’t particularly care ‘cause I’m evil, but I really don’t think good people would like their family and friends to be continuously be reminded of their deaths and the sadness/misery/hurt it caused every time a commemorative speech is made or a moment of silence is held.

I’d think the deceased would rather people move on with their lives instead of continuing to nurse an eight-year-old wound that’s been kept fresh all this time.

But, hey, that’s just me and I am very much not deceased.

I _am,_ however, bored as hell. I think I’ll go hover around Chase for awhile: whatever he’s doing, it’s _gotta_ be more interesting than _nothing._


	239. 9/13/09

**9/13/09-**

Oh, my god, I’m so close to having the Tech Lotus Twister finished that I can practically _taste_ it!

Well…maybe not taste it. I’m not really sure I’d want to be putting my mouth on something that’s hundreds of years old and has gotten quite a bit of use.

Chase’s penis is the only exception to that rule and I will not be making any more.

Anyways, back to the TLT. I think one of the main reasons it’s taken so long to get it _close_ to being off the ground is that Katnappé and I were having a lot of trouble deciding on a _form_ that increased muscle flexibility should take.

She, of course, wanted it in pill-form, or at least as something ingestible, whereas I wanted it in the form of something electronic. She argued that with pills and such, it would only provide a temporary effect and people would have to keep buying more if they wanted to remain extremely flexible and that would be where we’d make a lot of money. _I_ argued that with something mechanical, it would be more efficient and keep people from complaining to me about the need for something that works better.

After debating over it for quite some time, Katnappé finally pointed out again that the money is in the medicine, not the cure, and I pointed out to her that I have _plenty_ of money already, am not in desperate need of more, have my own agenda that hinges on the success of this thing, and am kind of her boss, so my needs have priority over hers.

I won, naturally. >=)

So, anyways, the finalized idea is out of the conceptual stage and is well into the prototype stage. What I’d come up with was essentially a patch, like something you’d wear to quit smoking or whatever, but its function is a lot more in-depth.

It’s as thin and flexible as paper, but has roughly the strength of steel: this thing will not tear or rip or anything like that, making it pretty durable. The Tech-Lotus Twister prototype is meant to be placed at the base of a person’s spine and once there, using a very sensitive, very tiny system of magnets, will be attracted to the traces of iron in a person’s blood and will adhere to the skin pretty powerfully. A few tests confirm that unless the magnetism holding it in place is purposefully disrupted, that thing is gonna stay right where it is.

So, then, once it’s on somebody and activated, it’ll begin emitting low, low electric pulses, and that’s where Katnappé’s bio-knowledge comes in. The subtle current of electricity, she explained, will work to relax and rejuvenate a person’s muscles, making them more elastic and bendable than they normally would be. According to her, the only reason nobody else has done this before is because nobody could figure out how to _make_ electrical pulses as low as I’ve figured out how to.

Chalk yet another one up to my supreme awesomeness, thank you. *preens*

But yeah, we managed to finally build one today (or at least a rough draft of it), and once Katnappé took her cue to get the hell out, I went in search of Chase to show him some benefits of increased flexibility.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he were to tell me he actually _hurt_ himself with how fast he got hard. XD

The sex was nice, though. It’s always nice, of course: I imagine if I were the God of Tacos, I’d make some pretty nice tacos, so considering he’s pretty much the God of Sex…

For the record, he’s also the God of Cuddling, ‘cause he does that pretty nicely, too. In fact, I think I’ll make him prove that some more! <3


	240. 9/14/09

**9/14/09-**

So, at one point yesterday, it came up that the TLT might not be good for people with pacemakers and such because of electric current will interfere and cause health problems, etc.

Well, I mentioned to Chase that it didn’t affect _my_ pacemaker and he was surprised, as he had forgotten I even had one.

I hardly think about it, but I decided to look into it and the thing still _is_ actually working (though it was built by me and I’m good at what I do; I don’t see why it wouldn’t be). A few scans and such prove that I no longer need it after that whole coma thing and then the Heal-Me Juice, which essentially fixed just about everything that was wrong with me, including my weak heart.

However, I’m not really sure I want to undergo open-heart surgery just to take it out. It’s unnecessary, yeah, but it’s not doing any harm and, because I built it with the ability to withstand a lot of crap, including _high_ voltage shocks, it’s not an inconvenience to me.

So, basically, I don’t need it, but I’m not cutting myself open to get rid of it, either. I’ve had enough serious surgeries for a lifetime, y’know?

Anyways, in terms of the TLT and people with pacemakers, I see things going one of two ways.

Option One: I could market my own brand of pacemakers modeled after the one I built for myself all those years ago and slap a disclaimer on the TLT that says if you have a pacemaker, it’d best be _my_ pacemaker in order to work 100% safely with this product.

I’m not too inclined to do that for pretty much the same reason I never marketed pacemakers before: I don’t like people, so why should I be going out of my way to save them?

I mean, sure, if everything goes according to plan, they’ll start breeding all over the place what with the TLT in circulation along with the fertility nanites (which I intend to release at the same time so that the effect will be more dramatic) and the Earth will experience a population boom it can’t contain. Then, I’ll get called in to make space travel possible, and there’ll go an estimated 3/4ths of the population.

However, do I _really_ want to be saving lives in the meantime? Not really, no.

Option Two: I don’t market any pacemakers and just release the TLT with a disclaimer telling people not to use it if you have a pacemaker and haven’t yet partaken of another of Spicer Tech’s wonderful products, Heal-Me Juice.

That one seems easiest, so I’ll probably just do that when it comes time for the public unveiling.

Anyways, I’m gonna go seek out my overlord to give him an update on all the previously mentioned stuff; wouldn’t want him out of the loop.


	241. 9/15/09

**9/15/09-**

Oh, geez… I’m pretty sure I’ve been more worried about something before, but I couldn’t tell you right now when the hell that was.

I let Chase know about the pacemaker thing, and apparently, he’d prefer it out. He also would like to do the job of removing it _personally._

The idea is to use the Serpent’s Tail and just…just reach in there and pull it out. Just like that! *nervous chuckle*

Chase claims to have practiced extensively with the Serpent’s Tail in his monk-days and has assured me that if I agree to letting him remove the pacemaker, he’ll practice extensively some more beforehand just to make _sure_ nothing will go wrong because of a lack of preparation, but…well, I just…

Don’t get me wrong: I trust Chase with my life and more. I’m in love with him, he’s my overlord, and he’s proven time and time again that if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s keeping me from prematurely kicking the bucket.

However.

I seriously doubt that the day will _ever_ come when I’m _completely_ comfortable with this. I mean, _reaching into my chest_ to remove a piece of equipment from my _heart?_

If something fucks up, no matter how unlikely that is, it will fuck up _big_ time. There’s, like, no margin for error and that is goddamn _terrifying._

Chase, upon seeing the blood drain from my face in a second at the very mention of this thing, has promised me that I don’t have to do anything if I don’t want to, only that _he’d_ feel better with the pacemaker out just in case some lunatic were to catch wind of it and try to force it to malfunction and kill me or whatever, but…

 

Fuck. Just, fuck.

 

I gotta go think about this or something. ****

**9/15/09 (UPDATED)-**

I must be a moron. My IQ is wrong, as is anybody who tries to argue that I’m a genius.

I’m gonna let Chase do it.

As _horrifying_ as this is to me, I wasn’t lying earlier: I love Chase and I trust him with my life, even if I never really thought it’d be _this_ literally.

God…I feel stupid even saying this, but I hope Chase doesn’t let me down.


	242. 9/16/09

**9/16/09-**

Well, thankfully for me, Chase has decided to spend at least a week practicing with the Serpent’s Tail. That’s good because A) he gets familiarized with the process extensively and B) I get some time to get more used to the idea.

To that end, I’ve agreed to make him some practice dummies to work with. If he’s having any trouble getting the hang of it, I do _not_ want to know, so as far as I care, he could practice for a _month._ After all, that’d be just one more month I don’t have to think about a hand being in my chest, but if a week is the goal, I can deal with that, too.

Today, though, while Chase has been busy doing his thing, I have taken the liberty of finalizing our costumes for Richie’s party.

We didn’t talk about it _too_ terribly much, but Chase mentioned an Egyptian theme, which I definitely liked the idea of.

I decided to run with said idea and had some outfits made with the goal of sexiness in mind.

I’m sure Chase will be expecting the worst when I tell him so, but at the risk of sounding like an effeminate boyfriend rather than an evil consort, if there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s how to make my man look good and how to make myself look good for my man.

I’m not sure how _he’ll_ feel about having his abs, thighs, and strong, masculine shoulders as blatantly displayed as I’ve allowed for, but it’ll sure make _me_ happy! Besides, even if he _doesn’t_ like showing off his totally hot bod (which I doubt!), my even _more_ revealing costume is sure to make him more amenable to the idea. ;D

I’ll be writing more on the specificity of the costumes _after_ the party when we make our life-ruiningly sexy debut. For now, I think I’ll go give Chase a…‘preview.’

Better go get the leash!


	243. 9/17/09

**9/17/09-**

Have you ever had a _really_ good dream and then woken up, immediately embarrassed?

That happened to me this morning.

It was an awesome dream, too. It was seriously realistic: I was totally sure Chase was fucking me doggy-style, my face pressed against a pillow hard enough to leave lines as he demanded I scream his name.

I woke myself up _shrieking_ it and was quite surprised to discover my hand down my pants and myself in the midst of the afterglow from a _really_ good orgasm.

I was sleep-masturbating. I’m starting to think I might be oversexed.

On the other hand, I’m not sure I _care_ that I’m oversexed ( _if_ I am), because Chase certainly seems to like it. The look on his face after my bout of sexomnia… pure, uncut, _SMUG._

Of course, he himself was sexy as hell. He’d just gotten out of the shower and was still wet, leaning up against the frame of the bathroom door and watching me. Throw in the facts that he wasn’t wearing a towel, that he was quite obviously hard, and that I still happened to be very much turned on from my dream…

Well, needless to say, my embarrassment in the aftermath of said dream didn’t last too long!

I think I’ve decided: if I’m oversexed, I _like_ it. ;D


	244. 9/18/09

**9/18/09-**

It’s a little late, but I gotta write _something_ down regarding the party, ‘cause it was _awesome._

So, because Frankie is the VP of my company, which is one of the most lucrative businesses in the world right now, Richie’s birthday bash was well-financed. The best of entertainment, the best food, the best drinks, the best _everything,_ but because both of them are casual, laid back sorts of people, it was not a fancy white-collar thing by any means.

Basically, it was a house-party with caviar, which I liked quite a bit. No need to impress and be uptight, but no lack of quality: nice.

Anywho, Chase and I showed up fashionably late, him in his sexy, pharaoh costume that displayed (almost!) all of his best attributes and me in my costume, which was essentially just a loincloth and some jewelry.

I must now express my appreciation for the costume I picked out for Chase. Holy fuckeroonie, he looks hot in kohl, and the gold ornamentation in his hair really made his eyes pop, and it was…!

Okay, never mind, if I go on about that any longer, I’m gonna have to poke Chase awake with a painfully hard erection, and nobody wants…okay, well, maybe we’d want it, but he’s tired and I’m tired, so not now.

Anyways! The party. So, the other people there were _gaping_ like slack-jawed morons when we walked in, and they were soon enough making puddles of drool as we socialized.

Ironically, Frankie was dressed as a firefighter, which had me laughing my ass off. Richie was dressed up as some superhero or other; I don’t really keep track of them, these days. Plantman, I think…? Something like that…? Ah, well, it doesn’t really matter.

I did see Richie’s friend, Virgil, the one who made it so the monks were only able to beat me into a coma as opposed to death. He was dressed up as the Green Lantern; go figure. I made a point of going over and thanking him for that much, but I didn’t stay too long because A) he seemed a little uncomfortable with my almost-nudity and B) Chase was tugging on my leash twice in rapid succession, which from a little training session we’d had the other day, I learned meant to walk to his side.

I think my favorite part was the gift-giving, when Richie discovered that I’d given him his very own, not yet released Tech Lotus Twister.

Richie: *in private* What am I supposed to do with this?

Jack: It’ll let you be way more flexible than you currently are.

Richie: So, aside from crime-fighting, what do I-?

Jack: You realize the only reason humans don’t suck their own dicks is ‘cause we’re not flexible enough for it, right?

Richie: Yeah, but-- *pauses, looks at Frankie* Ohhhh… _now_ I get it!  >=3

Frankie: *tears in his eyes* Oh, Jack…you’re the best little bro _ever!_ *BEARHUG*

Me: Get off, weirdo! *shoves away* … *hugs back quickly*

All in all, I had a good time, and I think Richie liked his gifts and everything, so that’s good, too. Afterwards, once Chase and I got home, we briefly checked on all the guests using the Eye Spy Orb and one of them was at home, depressed, dangerously drunk, and masturbating to one of the pictures in circulation of the two of us doing it. Further investigation informed us that the guy was about one beer away from succumbing to alcohol poisoning and he was already cracking open another bottle.

Mission accomplished: we have officially made somebody kill themselves because of how _hot_ we are.  >;D

Naturally, that turned the both of us on so bad we just _had_ to fuck, and since we were already dressed up, we decided to break out the video camera and do a little role-playing.

We’ll watch our late-night sex marathon later, but for now, Chase is already conked out in bed, and now that I’ve chronicled today’s awesomeness, I think I’ll be joining him. <3


	245. 9/19/09

**9/19/09-**

*snort* I just got a call from Frankie. He said, and I quote, “Dude, last night was the best thing that ever happened to me. Add a million to the billion I already owe you for blanking my rap sheet and landing me my cushy job.”

I think he was right, yesterday: I am the best younger brother _ever._ >=3

Anyways, I’ve spent most of today filling out paperwork and patents and such in order to get the TLT released to the public as soon as possible. I don’t know that there _needs_ to be a rush on it, but the sooner it’s out, the sooner the population booms, the sooner people go off into space, the sooner there are less assholes here on Earth to bother me by existing, so, y’know… The sooner, the better.

However, Chase is proving himself more playful than I thought he was, ‘cause he’s been playing a little game with me all day.

I like to call Chase’s game, “How Many Forms Can I Hide and How Many Hints Can I Drop Until Jack Takes a Break and Fucks Me.”

So far, he has seen four necessary papers ‘misplaced’ before I found ‘em and has walked by my desk twice in such a way that I was sure to notice the grace and majesty of him as he strode by.

The second time, he was scantily clad and covered in a sheen of sweat from some sort of training or exercise he did, and I gotta say, he’s _really_ tempting me.

Huh. Now, _I_ know what it feels like to be busy and have a handsome young (physically, at least) man trying to get me to fuck him instead of getting work done. What an odd turnabout.

Still, I dunno if I should let him distract me. Getting this dumb thing patented and mass produced is important to both of us. Haven’t I heard him bitching a million times over about how bad humans have fucked up _his_ planet and won’t I just make them go away, already?

Maybe I should just tell him to stop bugging me until I get these forms fini--

…oh, dear, sweet lord of all that is evil… Did he just…? Oh, fuckfuckfuck, he _did._

Fuck these papers, my overlord just fit a whole popsicle down his throat and _swallowed_ it. It’s a miracle I didn’t just cream my pants.

I think I’ve got more important things to do than paperwork, right now.


	246. 9/20/09

**9/20/09-**

Don’tcha just love dates when the day and the last two digits of the year end up making the whole year? 20/09? I do. XD

Anyways, I decided today would be a lazy day to end all lazy days. Why? Because the Tech Lotus Twister was finally released early this morning and I want to be able to say I made billions of dollars while lying around the house, drinking beer in my underpants.

I didn’t bother with half my usual morning routine. I brushed my teeth and showered, yeah, but I didn’t shave or do any light eyeliner or _anything._

I was fully expecting Chase to take one look at me on the couch in only a pair of boxers, my hair messy, beard-stubble on my face, and an open beer in my hand, sneer, and demand I go make myself look pretty for him again.

Instead, he grabbed a beer, nudged me over on the couch, and made fun of crappy, daytime TV with me.

Awesome? Yeah, I’d say so.

In fitting with the lazy, couch potato theme, I had some bots bring us junk food, namely some chips and donuts and such.

Now, I had figured since I was not really looking my best, Chase wouldn’t necessarily want to fuck me today.

As it turns out, I was wrong and Chase rather likes seeing the more basic, masculine side of me. I imagine it helps to remind him I’m not a pathetic, wilting flower he keeps around just to look pretty: I’m a man in my own right, and if I want to lounge around the house in my underwear every now and again, as long as it doesn’t become _too_ much of a habit, he doesn’t mind.

I also got the impression that looking a bit scruffy turned him on, unless I imagined the _extremely_ hot way he made a point of licking my stubbly chin while fucking me eight ways to…today, actually, it’s Sunday.

Now…hmm. I wonder where I left those potato chips?


	247. 9/21/09

**9/21/09-**

OMG, Chase didn’t shave this morning! It’s _so_ different! o.o

Not _bad_ different, mind you. I can’t really imagine anything he could do to make himself look _bad_ different. He’s the type of person, whether it’s something about his facial structure or his body type, who will pretty much always be hot sex on toast no matter what’s done to the outfit or hair or anything like that.

It’s interesting seeing Chase with a little beard scruff. Normally, he’s so fucking _pretty…_ Not girl-pretty, guy-pretty, of course. I like guy-pretty a lot, as one might imagine, but I like guy-handsome just as much and right now…?

Chase is very much guy-handsome. He’s got this rugged, manly look going for him that just _works,_ but I can’t muster the will to say I’m surprised: _everything_ works for him.

I honestly don’t think I’d mind if he wanted to make it a permanent look. I mean, so long as he doesn’t go with the stereotypical, racist Fu Manchu thing, I could see it looking nice. If he does decide to stick with it, I’d suggest something along the lines of a Jade Warlord-Collin Chou from Forbidden Kingdom. *wolf whistle*

And speaking of Collin Chou, if I didn’t have Chase and was looking for a hot Asian sex pistol to screw around with, he’d be somewhere towards the top of the list. Yeah, he’s got a wife and kids and is probably straight, but this is all theoretical, anyways: I _do_ have Chase to screw around with. ;D

Well, back to the argument at hand, I don’t particularly care _what_ Chase does with himself in regards to facial hair: he’s hot if he’s got it, and he’s hot if he doesn’t.

Either way, I win just getting to be the one to fuck him on a daily basis.

 _Speaking_ of which…  >;3


	248. 9/22/09

**9/22/09-**

I made the news today, and without having to do anything noteworthy or hold a press conference! =D

So, there was some sort of U.N. summit thingy on global climate change today, and Hu Jintao, China’s president, was quoted as saying greenhouse gas emissions in China are going to be going down and reliance on clean energy will be going up.

How did Mr. Hu say this would happen for China? Something to the effect of, “Jack Spicer’s main residency is here in China. Why _wouldn’t_ he want the place fixed up?”

Alright, now, when presidents of whole countries are basing the factuality of statements on you, you _know_ you hold a fuckload of sway in the world.  >=3

Just because I was so pleased with that knowledge, I decided to send Hu a little fruit basket thing as my thanks. There’s nothing big in there, just a couple of tinkerings of mine that make daily life a pinch more convenient: a thing to attach to a dishwasher to make it more efficient, a thing that controls all the lights in a household and only turns ‘em on when you’re in a room, stupid little stuff like that.

I’m actually kinda hoping he’ll brag to all his president/world leader-friends and encourage them to metaphorically pimp me in public so they can win my favor and some fabulous prizes of their own. =D

Sure, absolutely power like the way mine is panning out to be corrupts absolutely, but it’s absolutely _awesome,_ and absolutely a turn-on.

You, of course, know what that means: I’m about to be _very_ sore and Chase is about to be _very_ desperate for me to give him a breather in between massive amounts of sex.

Ah, I can’t feel _too_ bad for him: he knew what he was getting into when he took on a sexy, sex-crazed eighteen-year-old as his consort.  >;3


	249. 9/23/09

**9/23/09-**

Ah, Chase is a dirty rotten cheat: he couldn’t get my libido to take a nap yesterday, so he made _me._

He slipped a potion into my drink so I’d sleep for a few hours and give him a break. When I eventually woke up and found this out, sometime around 10:00 AM this morning (really, Chase, a _twelve-hour_ sleeping potion?), he had in his defense to say that _my_ body is eighteen and _his_ body is sixteen, and even with his supernatural stamina, I can sometimes tire him out.

I quite often forget how old Chase is physically. Most of the time, I think about how old he is chronologically, and it translates into the very simple and unquestioned fact: Chase is older than me, treat him as such, don’t bother with the little details.

Actually _thinking_ about the fact that I’m technically two years older is kinda weird. It doesn’t help that I’m noticeably taller than him, now, and, unless sitting, on my knees, or underneath him, I have to look down to make eye contact.

It _was_ pretty weird to me…

…at least, until I realized how hilarious it is. =D

In Hong Kong, the age of consent for heterosexual couples is 16 and the age for homosexual couples _was_ 21 until that law was overturned as unconstitutional. As of now, there technically _isn’t_ a gay age of consent in this general area, but most other places, the age for hets _and_ homos is around 18 or higher.

In pretty much all parts of the world, _I’m_ legal. In all but a few places, _Chase_ is not.

And, so, that was how Chase came to find me laughing so hard I was crying with the exclamation of, “Oh, god, I’m a Pedobear!” XD

I know Chase is mentally old enough to fully comprehend sex and all it entails so the age of consent thing doesn’t really apply to him, but the idea of me being a pedophile, even on a technicality, is so ridiculous I can’t _help_ but laugh.

Semantics are great. XD


	250. 9/24/09

**9/24/09-**

Today, I had to coax my overlord out of a snit he got into after hearing my revelation of yesterday.

He felt like even _considering_ us as a pedophilic relationship cheapened it immeasurably, so I made a point of letting him know that there was no _way_ I could think of myself as a pedophile by being with him (not _seriously,_ at least).

No matter how old his body is, it’s _obviously_ hit puberty, so no matter _what_ stupid laws say, Mother Nature has decreed that having sex is a-okay. Besides that, he’s intelligent and mature enough to handle sex and is not some little kid rushing into sex without being ready or something stupid like that.

I _can’t_ genuinely think of Chase as younger than me based on life experience alone. He’s _clearly_ the more mature one; just look at my track record of the type of immaturity one usually finds in a four-year-old!

The main kick I got out of the realization that he’s ‘younger’ is the thought of what some of these crazed activists today might say about us if they found out about the teensy, tiny technicality.

“OMFG, YOU’RE ABUSING YOUR POWER AND FUCKING A POOR, CONFUSED LITTLE BOY! YOU’RE A SICKO, YOU DESERVE TO GO TO PRISON AND BE ASSRAPED FOR EVER AND EVER AND EVER!”

Never mind the fact that said ‘poor, confused little boy’ is sixteen years old, chronologically over 1,500, too powerful to be manipulated by the type of power _I_ have, _and_ the one who initiated/does the fucking in the relationship.

Technicalities are everything, these days, and nobody cares about the big picture. It struck me as amusing that we could _ever_ be interpreted like that considering how off-base it is.

I briefly explained this to him and proceeded to seduce the hell out of him so as to prove that we are not, as some might accuse, an older teen taking sexual advantage of a younger one, but something more along the lines of sexual equals: we are both men, we know what sex is, we know how to have it, we know how to have it with each other, and we know how to make it _good._

I think something might be wrong with me, though: I’m starting to _like_ getting Chase out of his periodic snits. Things always seem to be twenty times more awesome between us right after I smooth over an argument or disagreement or something.

I can’t quite put my finger on _what_ it is that gets better specifically, but I do know one thing: best makeup sex _ever._ <3


	251. 9/25/09

**9/25/09-**

HATE, LOATHING, MOTHERFUCKING _RAWR,_ DAMMIT!

While I was busy with the pedophilia thing yesterday and the day before that, three fuckwads from Tanzania managed to get themselves a death-sentence for killing a fourteen-year-old albino kid and chopping off his legs.

GOOD. Jesus _Christ,_ what is _wrong_ with these people?! This isn’t even the first time something like this has happened! Albinos are being killed left and right in stupid fucking Tanzania and Burundi. Why?

BECAUSE WITCH DOCTORS NEED THEIR BODY PARTS FOR POTIONS, EXCUSE ME, HELLO, _WHAT?_

This is one of the first convictions for shit like this, and I’m here getting so pissed on behalf of fellow pigmentally challenged people that I can hardly _see_ straight!

Are these people retarded? How do they still believe something so primitive as, “chopping up albinos makes for good potions!”

I feel like hurting somebody over this, seriously. This is _not_ okay by any means. Sure, Tanzanian government says they want the killings to stop, but if that’s true, why does it _keep fucking happening with little to no convictions?_

Dammit, I’m mad! Maybe if I yell and throw some money at these brain-dead fuckers, they’d actually try to fix this shit. Of course, that might actually require me to _go_ to Tanzania, and that might not be the safest course of action.

Then again, maybe the murder and dismemberment of the Beloved One Hope of Humanity (me) might be enough to get these cocksuckers up off their asses and _doing_ something about this.

GRAH, I have to go find something to _punch repeatedly._ X(


	252. 9/26/09

**9/26/09-**

On the brighter side of things, I no longer feel any need to punch someone.

However, I am still spectacularly peeved.

I decided to risk it: I’m in fucking Tanzania right now, and no matter how badly I _don’t_ want to be here, I simultaneously _really_ do.

You should’ve seen the reaction when I casually let slip that I was going on a mini ‘vacation’ and where to.

Pretty much everybody heard about it and went, “Tanzania? Whoa, wait, isn’t that where they kill albinos like crazy?”

Yeah, that’d be the place, thanks for caring _now._

Currently, Chase (who insisted he come along as extra protection) and I are shacked up in a pretty sweet hotel; five-stars, and very nice.

I don’t plan on staying here long enough to really see the sights, though. For one, it’s kinda dangerous, and two, I’m only here to make a point.

Willingly coming here after the incident that made the news a few days ago should be a subtle enough hint to various government types: I am _not_ happy with the treatment of albinos in this place, and I am willing to risk my life just to put some fear in the leaders of the world so they’ll get off their asses and do something.

Things have been largely uneventful so far, except for the incident where I nearly got my arm chopped off.

Chase and I didn’t take a plane to Tanzania, obviously, and we got here like we get just about everywhere: the Tech GTC. We ‘ported only a few miles away from the hotel we’re currently staying in so it wouldn’t look suspicious, but neither would I have to be in the sun too long.

Keep in mind that this is Africa, folks. Dark skin dominates the continent and so albinism stands out like a third eye.

It must’ve been surprising for the people we walked past to see me, a white man made even _whiter_ through being albino, striding by confidently as if I had no idea what tended to happen to albinos in this place.

I imagine I looked like an easy target: good-looking, relatively skinny, and dressed in wealthy, Western clothing, to boot. I was obviously some sort of stupid, rich tourist that wouldn’t be able to fight back. Not only could I be harvested for body parts, I probably had money and credit cards they could rip off, too!

I’m a little surprised they came at me in broad daylight. I’d figured I’d have to _at least_ walk by a dark alley or something to get jumped.

Either way, two dudes just sort of jumped at me and grabbed my arm so one could cut it off with the rather impressive machete he had with him. I sincerely doubt they were expecting Chase to slug the guy holding me hard enough to break his face _or_ for me to whip out a laser pistol and blast a clean hole through machete-guy’s head.

Of course, people stared. It’s not often you see an albino attacked for body parts and then killing one of his attackers on the spot.

To all watching, I made sure to point out that he’d drawn a weapon on me and I was within my legal rights to fight back: he was killed in self-defense and considering who I am, I doubt anyone trying to prosecute me otherwise would make it into court.

After that, Chase and I went straight to our hotel without any further issues. The second fucktard that tried to hack off my limbs ran off in the scuffle, but if I know Chase, he won’t be getting away. He might _think_ he escaped, but Chase is nothing if not vengeful, especially regarding the assault and attempted murder of his possessions.

For now, though, we’re just hanging out here in our room. Even though I only had to walk in the sun a little bit, I’m still kinda sunburned, so I’m pretty much just laying around and applying aloe vera lotion to my more-pink-than-white skin to see that it doesn’t get any worse.

Today was not the best day I’ve ever had, but we’re leaving first thing in the morning and it’s for a worthy cause.

If nothing gets done about these stupid killings now, after _I_ was nearly killed and was, in fact, forced to kill another man in self-defense, then, I have completely failed as an evil genius and deserve to have my badge revoked.


	253. 9/27/09

**9/27/09-**

Oh, my god, I am _so_ glad to be home…!

Not that Tanzania didn’t have its high points (namely the food, XD), but I wouldn’t want to live in a place where I’m _openly_ persecuted for having a pigment disorder. Here in China and most other places, I’m discriminated against and looked down upon, but at least people have the decency to _pretend_ they’re not doing it out of fear of looking like a dick in public.

Back there, I really got the feeling that I was being hunted, like I was some kind of game to be shot and mounted on the wall. I really don’t envy the one in three-thousand albinos that have to live there on a day-to-day basis, but hopefully, the stunt I pulled by visiting yesterday will help them out a little.

Anyways, Chase isn’t home right now. He essentially dropped me off and told me he had some ‘loose ends’ to take care of. Apt as I’ve gotten at translating Warlordese, I’m almost positive that what he meant to tell me was that he was going to find the fuckface from yesterday and finish the job. I don’t expect him back for a while yet: I imagine he’ll want to hurt the guy pretty badly or at least prolong his death to something _really_ slow and painful.

So far, I’ve been using the free time to catch up on current news and the news I’ve missed while in Africa.

In terms of current, Roman Polanski got arrested today on an old warrant. That’s good news. I may have made light of pedophilia a few days ago, but that was only because the idea of two full-grown men having sex being labeled as pedophilic was ridiculous. Drugging and assaulting a thirteen-year-old girl? _That’s_ not funny, it’s messed up and not cool.

In terms of news I missed, people are shitting _cinderblocks_ over both the incident on the street yesterday and then the group of attackers who bribed their way into the hotel room in the middle of the night. Chase handled them for me ‘cause he’s awesome like that, and he even held back from tearing off limbs for daring to disturb his beauty sleep, _just_ so I could claim self-defense.

God, he’s good to me! <3

And oh, speak of the devil! My overlord is home early and he has brought me a gift.

I’ll think about where to put the head-on-the-pike later. I should thank Chase properly for the present. >=3


	254. 9/28/09

**9/28/09-**

As I’ve previously stated, I’ve been keeping tabs on the rest of the world ever since the Tanzania trip. Some new information has arisen since last I checked.

It’s _laughable_ how many petitions and charities and awareness drives have been started all over countries everywhere, now, not to mention the speed with which a doctrine has been introduced in the U.N.

From what I understand of it, after nearly getting myself killed a couple of times, most of the world’s nations are perfectly willing to put pressure on Tanzania and Burundi (in which similar albino-killing practices are happening), including threatening a complete cut-off from trade, until some serious reforms are made.

Why, yes, I am exceedingly important, thank you for asking. >=D

In less awesome news, Chase has just informed me that he has a feeling something will be happening tomorrow, something big, inconvenient, and related to Shen Gong Wu.

As he’s usually pretty accurate in terms of his ‘premonitions,’ I’m not looking forward to tomorrow.

Bah. XP

It’s weird, though, because…

I kinda feel it, too.

Not much, but even before Chase told me that he was pretty sure something was going down tomorrow, I sort of had a feeling, myself; like tomorrow wasn’t going to be a particularly awesome day.

I’m thinking it’s ‘cause I’m around Chase so much. Constant proximity to that much evil has to have some side effects. He already helped me reach the level of _actual_ Heylin, so who’s to say he hasn’t unintentionally (or otherwise) started bringing me closer to _his_ level of Heylin, where you can sense Wu-stuff about to happen and shit?

I mean, I’m clearly not the wimpy little goth kid that flinches at the sight of blood or the thought of pain anymore. A couple days ago, people were trying to hack my arm off, and I shot one of them in the face. Just yesterday, I was presented with the other’s severed head on a pike and thought of it as a romantic gift! Being near Chase is doing wonders for my evil side.

I wonder how long he’ll let me stick around…?


	255. 9/29/09

**9/29/09-**

Jeez, I’m worn out; and it’s not even because of sex! In fact, I haven’t had any all day, isn’t that depressing?

Ugh. Anyways, Chase (and I, to a small extent) was right: the Vulcan Hammer went active today, the reason why I’ve been up and about all day.

All told, it’s a pretty sweet Wu. It’s a blacksmith’s hammer that has the power to trigger volcanic eruptions. It doesn’t matter if the volcano is dormant or extinct, or even if you want two or more volcanoes miles away from each other spewing lava at the same time: you just think of the ones you want to erupt, swing the hammer down, and boom, literally.

Chase, with his innate connection to fire would very much like to have this Wu in his possession. On the other hand, the monks would very much like him to _not_ have it, fearing what he might do with it.

Hence the reason for the borderline-Armageddon Showdown that took place over it, today.

I’m not entirely sure _when_ the monks learned to fight so hard, but I’m guessing they were fueled by their passion to keep evil from triumphing over the shining and valiant side of good or something lame like that.

Either way, they fought pretty well, but nothing matches the strength and skill of Chase Young in a full-blown WANT.

Just to win the Vulcan Hammer, Chase exercised the control of earth he forced himself to learn in addition to fire (he’s mastered all the other elements, too) and caused an 8.3 magnitude earthquake right around the Samoa Islands, which also triggered a tsunami.

Approximately 189 people died and many more were injured, but in the end, Chase got the Wu.

A wonderful victory for the Heylin side, I would say! =D

 

 **9/29/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****And a devastating loss for the Xiaolin side. So much so, they’re demanding a rematch.

They’re too cowardly to do it directly _or_ themselves, but a few moments ago, I received a note dropped off by Dojo from the monks. It detailed just what they thought about Chase using his strength and expertise to whoop their asses fair and square and issued an honor-based challenge for ownership of the Wu as well as the settling of a grudge-match.

Guan will be fighting on behalf of the monks; Chase on behalf of himself.

I don’t imagine Chase will turn down the opportunity to emphasize his superiority, defend his honor, maintain possession of his newly-won Wu, _and_ beat the crap out of Guan.

Then again, he hasn’t seen the letter yet. I’ll go bring it to him so he can laugh about how stupid the Xiaolin are these days.


	256. 9/30/09

**9/30/09**

OH GOD, NOT THE COFFEE, PLEASE, PLEASE, NOT THE COFFEE!

…that’s a little out of nowhere without context, actually. ^^;

Alright, well, Chase accepted the challenge, of course. He and Guan designated the battlefield as Sumatra, and there they met today in the wee hours of the morning.

I went along, of course. How could I miss a show like that?

There was some concern on my being so close to what was obviously going to be a battle to end all battles, but I promised Chase I’d bring my matter-shifter and watch the whole thing intangible. I did, but as added protection, Chase made Guan _swear_ to leave me out of it.

Guan declared that he would never do something so base as dragging an uninvolved party into a battle as long as I didn’t interfere and Chase replied that he had to make _certain_ of that considering the lack of morals amongst the Xiaolin lately.

Guan winced and had the decency to look ashamed. XD

So, anyways, the fight commenced. It was so fucking awesome, I can’t even _describe_ it…!

The point of the thing is that I felt very privileged being allowed to watch Chase trounce the hell out of Guan. >=3

It got a little scary a couple of times, once when a stray boulder was hurled my way and passed through me (it didn’t hurt, it was just a little frightening at first), and then again when there was a 7.6 magnitude earthquake.

Yep, my overlord caused _another_ earthquake with his awesomeness, two in the course of as many days.

Needless to say he ended up pwning the _hell_ out of Guan, but I expected as much.  >=)

However, back to my original point…

EARTHQUAKE. SUMATRA. COFFEE.

I don’t care what happens to the people, but if the _coffee_ is damaged by this…!

I may just have to consider not doing that _thing_ Chase likes in bed for a little while.

…well, no. We _both_ like it, and I’m sure there’s enough coffee around the palace to last me a _lifetime._

I really _should_ go congratulate Chase on a well-deserved victory. Where’d I leave the glow-in-the-dark lube from the last time we used it…?  >=D


	257. 10/1/09

**10/1/09-**

Crap in a hat. With the start of a new month comes the renewal of old issues that Chase has been too busy to deal with up until now.

Did you forget that he wanted to remove my pacemaker himself? ‘cause I did. Dammit, was ignorance (or rather, forgetfulness) bliss.

Because I’d forgotten about it, Chase has agreed _not_ to do it today, his earliest convenience after the appropriate amount of practicing, but it will be happening for sure tomorrow. Any more putting it off and he might get rusty again and nobody wants that, so it’ll be tomorrow while it’s still fresh in his mind.

Is it irrational to fear the hand of somebody who’s decidedly not a doctor rustling around in my chest? I feel like I shouldn’t be scared, ‘cause I know Chase wouldn’t kill me on purpose, but…

Blah, I dunno. I guess I’m just gonna have to grin and bear it and hope I don’t die on accident.

*snert* And, if Chase had read the above sentence, I imagine he’d either smack me upside the head for doubting him, smack me upside the head for making him doubt himself for however many seconds, or worse, smack me upside the head for potentially jinxing it.

Hm. Maybe I should go make a Salt Basket to calm down.

A Salt Basket, for any reading my journal that don’t know me or myself in the future that has obtained amnesia of some sort, is a personal tradition of mine and a spin-off of the time-honored muffin basket. It is essentially a goody bag of awful, embarrassing, or hurtful things aimed at the person it’s going to, sent sometimes after a particularly awful, embarrassing, or hurtful event said person just suffered, but others just because.

Therefore, I call it a Salt Basket because it’s salt in an open wound. >=3

I used to send these _constantly_ back when I was in school, but I suppose the tradition died out when I was expelled/quit. I really don’t know why, it’s an _awesome_ tradition.

Either way, I’m definitely going to bring it back for the monks and Guan, having just suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of my overlord.

Now, I think I still have that DVD Chase gave me of all the evil things they’ve ever done, which would work quite nicely as a centerpiece. Then, maybe I could collect some of the data I compiled of every innocent person they’ve hurt with the damage they used to cause while beating the shit out of me (they’ve wrecked a _lot_ of family-owned fruit stands, I can tell you that much)…

Hmm, I think I’ll also include a letter about what I think of them. Nothing threatening or libelous and definitely nothing said out of spite, _just_ the facts and my opinions on those facts. It’ll make it worse having all their suckitude pointed out to them and being unable to explain it away as me making shit up about them.

Ooh, this is exciting! I _definitely_ need to make these more often!

I’m gonna go consult with Chase on this; I’m sure he’ll have plenty of ideas on how to point out to Guan and the monks _just_ how bad they suck!


	258. 10/2/09

**10/2/09-**

Lemme start this entry off by saying that not only is my pacemaker removed, I am still alive, as well.

However, there was one close call during the removal.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it was mostly my fault. At one point, I got too nervous and my heartbeat sped up, which momentarily threw Chase off, and the pacemaker _snagged._

Um… _OUCH._

Thankfully, Chase managed to talk me (and my heart rate) down pretty quick and it went smoothly after that, so…I’d like to think it was a success.

Still, I’m putting myself on standard post-cardiac surgery protocol, just in case. Not the _full_ deal, of course, as that’d probably be overdoing it. Since I wasn’t actually cut open and my heart underwent minimal trauma, I’m pretty much just taking a _small_ dosage of pain meds and avoiding seriously strenuous activity for at least a week.

In actuality, I probably don’t _need_ to do any of that, but Chase and I both agree that after that close call, it’s better to err on the side of caution.

Besides, a couple of laid back days and light medication aren’t gonna hurt me. XD

On the downside, I’m not exactly okayed for the acrobatic sex-marathons that’ve become a part of my life, so my duties as Chase’s consort are going to be just a pinch limited.

However, blowjobs, handjobs, and even regular sex (so long as it’s not overdone) are perfectly fine, so our sex life shouldn’t be suffering _too_ bad. ;3

As for me, I think I’ve earned a long soak in a warm bath to unwind. I wonder how Chase feels about a leisurely fuck in the tub…?

 

 **10/2/09 (UPDATED)-**

Ha! I just got a note from the monks in response to the Salt Basket I sent ‘em. It says, and I quote, “We hate you.” XD


	259. 10/3/09

**10/3/09-**

Goddammit, that bitch. Where the fuck does she get the balls to--!

AUGH, RAWR. X(

In case it isn’t obvious, I’m annoyed. Katnappé is really pushing me right about now.

She seems to be a bit resentful toward me for A) not having sex with her, B) getting her kicked out of the palace for a long period of time, and C) for essentially ignoring half of her input on the Tech Lotus Twister and raking in about 75% of the profits.

She’s been sniffing around the palace all day looking to get fucked and I can tell you one thing for sure: if she keeps at her slutty bitch-tricks, _I’ll_ fuck her – and _not_ in the way she’s hoping.

Has she forgotten that she makes pretty much all her money through _me?_ Has she forgotten that if she absolutely _must_ fuck my overlord, she’s supposed to do it where I can’t _see_ it? Has she forgotten how easily I can fire, maim, or kill her? _Or_ all of the above?

Maybe she hasn’t forgotten, maybe she’s just too pissed off at me to care.

Needless to say, I’m agitated.

My blood pressure has been steadily skyrocketing all day, which has got Chase none too happy with me considering my promise to him yesterday that I’d take it easy, but what does he want from me?!

Here the bitch is lurking around the palace, flaunting her femaleness all over the place, and practically dry-humping my…dry-humping Chase at every turn! _Dammit,_ if they’re gonna do that, can’t they _at least_ get a fucking room?! I’d appreciate that much!

…no. No, I’m not gonna take this lying down (as Chase has been prodding me to do all day).

I’ve got an ace in the hole that I’ve been saving for something just like this.

In Kama Sutra, there’s a sexual position called the Variant Yawning position. The woman lies on her back, her legs propped up against the man’s shoulders while he fucks her, which allows for _really_ great, really _deep_ penetration.

Today, this position is just about impossible. Back when the thing was written, a guy was _huge_ if he had a six-inch dick, whereas now, that’s an average size. Then _and_ now, a woman’s vagina only goes to a depth of about five-inches.

I don’t know how Chase managed it, being born in the time he was, but he’s bigger than six inches (for which I’m grateful!). Katnappé most likely has a vagina of average depth.

If Chase tried to fuck her in that position, it would result in one of two things: either he’d tear her, or he’d rupture her cervix.

Katnappé _cannot_ fuck Chase in that position without being in serious physical danger.

I, on the other hand, _can_ fuck him like that. I don’t have a cervix, so Chase can fuck me as deep as he wants without having to worry about bottoming me out. There’s still the risk of tearing something (on my end _or_ his end), but being prepared would help that, namely plenty of lube and going fairly slow.

Maybe I can’t outright run Katnappé off and maybe I can’t bitch Chase out for wanting to fuck her every now and again.

One thing I _can_ still do is show Chase just why _I’m_ the better choice.


	260. 10/4/09

**10/4/09-**

Katnappé is gone and has been for quite awhile. I am thoroughly sore and if you were to ask Chase, you’d probably hear the same.

It was possibly the best sex of my life and I regret nothing. How could I regret it? Chase and I fucked _last night_ and I’ve _still_ got that ‘just came’ feeling! I can just _barely_ manage walking places, but even that is a little impeded because my body is essentially telling me, “NO, you got FUCKED last night; seriously, honestly, and completely FUCKED. Now, get back in the bedroom and lay the hell down.”

Either way, it got Chase to boot Bitchface out, so y’know…I’m happy. =3

For the record, Variant Yawning position = awesome. Everyday thing: no. Special occasion thing: most likely, yes.

If we fucked like that all the time, either one of us would keel over from an OMG-so-good-aneurysm or something would tear that neither of us want torn, but as an every once in awhile thing, it’s _good._

It’s too bad a lot of the other stuff in Kama Sutra is completely nutty: rub wasp stingers on my dick to make it bigger? Cock-biting to enhance sexual pleasure? Erm, no, I kinda like my genitals and wanna keep them unmaimed, thanks!

Moving on, in completely nonsexual news (I know, blasphemy, right?), I decided to check in on Finnian today considering that his…offspring? are going to hatch sometime soon.

It _still_ kinda weirds me out, thinking about what a cross between a rat and a snake is gonna look like, but who am I to judge a magical sentient snake and a superintelligent rat in love?

Fin is doing fine; a little agitated, but I’d be agitated, too, if I was physically male and was doing female mothering duties for _another_ male of a _different_ species. Negriss isn’t 100% fine, either, considering he _laid_ the eggs and yet is hunting the prey Chase put in their garden like he would be doing if he were the one who fathered the eggs.

From what I’ve gathered, hormones are _all_ out of whack in their little den.

I tried suggesting that they switch roles, which would make it easier on both of them, but Negriss flat-out refuses to injure his pride by playing mommy and Finnian is more of a lover than a fighter and doubts his ability to protect and provide for his coming family like a father would.

Jeez, I imagine that _this_ is why it would be bad if Chase and I ever reproduced. The only way we could get a kid is through him, the magical one, but he wouldn’t wanna be the mother figure and I’d be insecure about my capability to play the father figure.

Talk about awkward; am I _glad_ neither of us wants kids! XD

Either way, I’ve just been struck by the mad urge to bake. I don’t care _what,_ but _something_ is going in the oven.

I get the feeling I’m about to make my overlord _very_ happy! ;D


	261. 10/5/09

**10/5/09-**

I have received the Sword of the Storm for study! As of right now, I’m thinking of pulling a Cobra Commander and making a Weather Dominator.

While on the subject, did you know Cobra Commander has a Twitter? I’m not even kidding, and it features such gems as:

“You know who doesn't like Shark Week? The people I feed to sharks.”

“Instead of water boarding as torture I'm going to start sending prisoners to IKEA on the weekends.”

“Really? You park in my spot? I blow up your car and execute a family member. This is how it works.”

And a more recent example, “Whoever said you can't get blood from a stone hasn't bludgeoned enough people to find out.”

I need to find whoever’s doing this and actually put them on a payroll to do it. Seriously. XD

I even showed it to Chase earlier, who I then had to thoroughly convince that I was not behind the Twitter account, ‘cause he thinks half of what’s up there sounds like something I’d write.

Ones like this probably gave him that idea: “Industrial Design Vipers worked up a helmet prototype for me. Inverted Televiper technology. You're lookin' at me but all I see is YouTube.”

I kind of always thought _he_ had a hand in it ‘cause of stuff like this: “What's the OTHER half of the battle, you self-righteous little do-gooders? Naïvete? Childish devotion to failed ideals?”

Weird how evil writings can have a similar sound, eh? XD

Anyways, I guess I should probably start taking some data on the SotS to base stuff off of.

To the Lair!


	262. 10/6/09

**10/6/09-**

Oh, god, the funniest thing just happened! XD

Chase and I were fucking; nothing new, there. I was riding him, moaning and groaning was involved, again, nothing new.

And then, I fell off.

Yes, you read correctly: I _fell off._

It took me a second to realize I was no longer fucking my overlord’s brains out and that my ass was going to be sore because it’d hit the floor rather than because there’d been a cock up it. Chase seemed equally surprised up on the bed, and for a few seconds, we just stared at each other like, “WTF?”

And then, we started laughing. I mean, come on, I fell _off_ in the middle of sex, who does that?! Not to mention the fact that Chase was so into it that he couldn’t even manage to catch me! XD

Besides, no important man-bits were damaged in the separation of coitus and we both ended up coming (I gave him a very difficult giggling blowjob while whacking off) so, no injury, no blue balls, what’s the harm in snickering about it?

I think it’s a good sign that we can laugh something like that off, though. With most other couples, falling off like that could break the whole relationship. Screaming, cursing, throwing the guy’s stuff out the window because it was _his_ fault for not catching her, etc, etc.

If you’d asked me yesterday what might’ve happened if I were to fall off of Chase, I would’ve guessed that best case scenario, I’d be shunned for a few days by a peeved dragonlord and worst case scenario, he’d go Bitchlord of the Mountain on me and kick me out for _daring_ to disrespect his almighty dick by falling from it.

Instead, we both laughed.

I think it says something about being comfortable with each other that we can just laugh about an otherwise mortifying event.

That’s…nice, actually.


	263. 10/7/09

**10/7/09-**

I’ve spent most of my day in two-…well, no, it’s more like three parts.

Part 1: Sword of the Storm research. Testing it, taking basic data, looking up whatever info I can find on how it’s been used in the past, all that kind of stuff. I’ve even drafted a few plans for how to go about getting a weather control machine out of my studies that, in theory, appear to be successful.

Part 2: Assembly line building/supervision of building of space crafts. It’s about time I start work on NASA’s stupid little request, because I want space travel available to the masses _approximately_ the same time I finish my weather dominator. My plan is to release the space crafts, let them be used to the point where everyone is convinced they’re safe, and then spring a crapload of disasters on the planet so people get the impression that hey, they _need_ to not live on Earth anymore. Then, more empty space in the world for me and my everlord and whatever else we deem fit to live with us on this ball of dirt hurdling through space.

Part 3: Sex. Come on, like you’re surprised? Knowing mine and Chase’s libido, that _had_ to be somewhere on the list! XD

Anyways, I’d best get back to it.

…my lab work, I mean, I wouldn’t be writing a journal entry in the middle of sex when I could be focusing on something infinitely sexier than paper and a pencil! ;D


	264. 10/8/09

**10/8/09-**

Of all the things the falling-off-the-bed-the-other-day incident was, romantic and sexy was _not_ one of them.

I decided to balance it out today by asking my overlord out on an outing that we both found more pleasurable. ;D

So, we went out, looking sexy like we always do. I took us to a high-end nightclub, one of the really exclusive ones that don’t let you in unless you/your parents make millions per year.

Downsides: Mainly crowded with uppercrust douchebag young people, everybody I bothered to talk to for more than two seconds was offering me drugs, and most of the music was obnoxious.

Upsides: Unlike most clubs, this one served extremely decent food and _excellent_ alcohol, people knew to steer clear of you once you told ‘em to fuck off, and the dance floor was big enough to grind Chase on without feeling crowded by other dancers.

At one point, I decided I was sick of the crappy music that was being played and decided to request (read: bribe) the DJ to play one of my choosing.

I chose Closer by Ne-Yo.

At first, Chase, who hates modern music, _particularly_ in that genre, was like, ‘WTF?’ Then, the lyrics started playing over the loudspeaker and he was like, “Oh.  >=D”

Some choice lyrics from Closer:

“Turn the lights off in this place and she shines just like a star  
And I swear I know her face  
I just don't know who you are  
Turn the music up in here  
I still hear her loud and clear  
Like she's right there in my ear  
Telling me that she wants to own me  
To control me…”

“And I just can't pull my self away  
Under a spell I can't break  
I just can't stop  
And i just can't bring myself, no way  
But I don't want to escape  
I just can't stop…”

“I can feel her on my skin  
I can taste her on my tongue  
She's the sweetest taste of sin  
The more I get the more I want  
She wants to own me  
Come closer  
She says come closer…”

Now, as I knew requesting the song and Chase figured out once it started playing, if you replace ‘she’ and ‘her,’ with ‘he’ and ‘his/him,’ it essentially sums up my relationship with Chase.

There was much humping-thinly-disguised-as-dancing on the dance floor, lemme tell you that much. >;D

Anyways! Good evening, quite enjoyable, must go and get laid more, now; I was barely able to drag myself away from the bed long enough to write this entry! XD


	265. 10/9/09

**10/9/09-**

More work on the space travel project. Really, it’s more tedious than complicated, ‘cause basically, I’m rebuilding slightly less advanced versions of my own jet (which is equipped for space travel) en masse.

Now, I say less advanced ‘cause I built my jet for me. My brain works on a genius level and the controls are designed to accommodate that. If a normal person tried to fly it, they’d get confused by all the shiny knobs and blinking lights within five minutes or less and crash the damn thing.

In order to make it more available to the public, even if just the public that has been trained and authorized to fly these space crafts, I’ve had to dumb it down a little. Y’know, make some of the functions automatic, put in some brightly-colored and obvious labels, put in gauges for some of the processes because the average guy can’t keep track of fuel readouts, cabin pressure, and suitable temperatures all at once.

However, I have accomplished this and have about twelve ‘prototypes’ (they work fine and don’t require anymore testing, but since they’ve never been used by people, I’m sure that’s what they’ll be called).

I’ve already notified NASA that I’ve got some stuff ready for them and I’ll be sending ‘em over within the next couple of days. Even after that, though, it’s gonna be awhile before they make it into usage, ‘cause I know _they’re_ gonna wanna do their own safety tests and institutions like that take _forever_ with that kind of stuff.

My _hopeful_ guess is that maybe in a month or two, I’ll see some test-flights being performed with, like, one actual person on the flight. *eyeroll*

Ah, well, nothing to be done about the bureaucracy; it exists pretty much to perpetuate itself and it does a good job of it.

By the time I finished that, it was only, like, afternoon, so I went in search of Chase to occupy my time. As it turns out, he’s busy with something or other, too. I found him in his study reading over some ancient books/scrolls or whatever. They were in Chinese, but they were both so faded and old that I couldn’t recognize more than a few characters; I guess the rest have either been modified or dropped out of the language completely sometime in the modernization of it.

I didn’t get any answers and I probably won’t, ‘cause when I inquired about it, he responded with a metaphorical pat on the head and a, “Never you mind,” before shooing me away.

Whatever, I guess. I’m curious, but I understand two things: 1) Chase is an intricate creature of evil and magic and sexy hotness and I’ll probably never fully understand his dealings in my lifetime and 2) I am his consort and minion and if he doesn’t want me to know something, I won’t know it.

In any case, while he’s been busy, I’ve decided to work on the Sword of the Storm stuff some more, ‘cause _dammit,_ I want a weather machine!

Just imagine, every day dark and overcast, but no rain/snow/sleet/hail… I might actually be able to go outside during daytime hours every once in awhile and I won’t need to run for cover every time there’s a cloudbreak! Thunderstorms on command to watch the lightning whenever the hell I feel like it!

Oh, and maybe being able to have sex on the beach with my everlord, a storm brewing off in the distance making everything look amazingly cool…

Yes. Yes, I definitely have to get this thing finished sometime soon. <3


	266. 10/10/09

**10/10/09-**

Weather machine work goes well! I’ve got most of the technical stuff mapped out in my head and I’m currently in the process of sketching up some rough designs/concept ‘art’ (and by that I _don’t_ mean doodles of innocent civilians fleeing for their lives from tornadoes under my control…well, at least not _only_ that).

Anyways, I surprised Chase earlier twice, rapid fire; both incidents have him quite pleased with me, if I do say so myself.

The first occurred when I brought him freshly baked cookies in his study (with the kind of chocolate chip to batter ratio that would have today’s health-nut parents screaming and wetting their pants in sheer horror). Chase _does_ have quite the sweet tooth and I’m always happy to cater to it when I can.

Secondly, I helped him figure out part of whatever he’s been working on.

Chase: *glaring at a very old book, obviously struggling*

Me: *peeks over his shoulder, follows his eyes* I think that says, ‘newt.’

Chase: …what?

Me: That, right there. *points* I can’t tell what the fuck the rest of this says, but I’m pretty sure that character means ‘newt.’

Chase: How do you figure?

Me: Well, it’s darkly shaded on the one side and all squiggly on the other side. It makes me think of the Chinese Fire Belly newt; particularly a male one, ‘cause they’re darker and the coloring on their bellies is brighter. I dunno, it’s just a theory ‘cause I know a lot of characters for things evolved from crude pictures and whatever dialect this is looks pretty old, so it’s probably close to what the object it represents actually looks like.

Chase: That actually makes sense in the context. *scribbles down a note or two for himself* Thank you, Spicer, your input has been helpful. *smooch* Now, run along and I’ll reward you for your aid later.

And goddamn am I holding him to that. I’m feeling a little kinky today, so I’ve got some bondage-themed toys set up in the bedroom for later. >=D

For now though, I think I’ll occupy myself with more concept art.

…No, wait, it’s a trailer park; _all_ the mobile homes have to be knocked down by my Tornado of Doom…


	267. 10/11/09

**10/11/09-**

Honestly, I don’t know what to say right now.

Negriss and Finnian…their…offspring… has hatched.

They’re all essentially mixes of rat and snake which looks about as awkward as you’d expect. Well, no, actually, they just look like baby armadillos and legless ferrets, which are…still pretty weird, I guess.

I dunno, the fuzzy ones are kinda cute and the scaly ones aren’t ugly, but…it’s just weird to me, I guess.

  
 **10/11/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****I’m coping with it better than Chase. He’s currently debating with himself whether or not he wants to go see the babies with me. On the one hand, he doesn’t want to know and disgust himself with that information, but on the other hand, he’s _insanely_ curious and wants to look _just_ to know.

I wonder what he’ll end up deciding. XD


	268. 10/12/09

**10/12/09-**

So! In order to distract my everlord from thoughts of interspecies offspring, I decided to give him a tiny, simplistic prototype of my upcoming weather machine.

It can’t make rain. It can’t make thunder. It can’t make lightning. It can’t make hurricanes.

But it can make small, controlled tornadoes. >=3

Fortunately, Chase got an opportunity to test out my prototype and play with his new toy when the Jiézhì Collar went active earlier this morning.

Kind of a kinky Wu, this one: if you can get it on somebody, they have to do everything you say and in essence, become your slave.

Pedrosa was the most interested in getting this thing, as you can imagine. If he could get it on me, he’d probably make me kill myself just to get me out of the picture so he could seduce Chase, or if he were to get it on Chase, he could make him kick me out and essentially rape Chase’s body all he wanted.

Luckily, Chase was able to distract him with thousands of miniature tornadoes targeting him and his compatriots that he _had_ to quell, lest somebody be picked up and spun around until they were profoundly unwell. While he was busy with that, I grabbed the Collar and then Chase and I went back to the palace.

The following exchange occurred:

Chase: Now that we’ve won the Jiézhì Collar, what shall we do with it?

Me: Lock it away somewhere Crazy McDumbass can’t find it?

Chase: *devilish smirk* Suppose I put it on you…?

Me: And what would that do? Make me obey your every command a few seconds _faster_ than I already do?

Chase: *purr, pounce!*

Sex was had and the Collar was either hidden or thrown into a volcano; I’m not sure what Chase did with it afterwards, ‘cause I was completely conked out and only got the knowledge that it was taken care of after the fact by Omi, who had _suggested_ it be tossed into a volcano. XD

Either way, my tornado-maker prototype works and Rai does _not_ have the Wu that can fulfill all his sick little fantasies, so, I’m gonna say today was a good day. ;D


	269. 10/13/09

**10/13/09-**

Sometimes, it’s difficult being both famous/awesome and shacked up with an immortal dragonlord; namely in terms of receiving mail.

My ‘thank you’ package from NASA would’ve gotten to me a lot quicker than today if there weren’t so many filters on the incoming mail to my mansion and even _quicker_ if it didn’t have to be brought to the palace from there.

However, there’s not much I can do about it. If I didn’t have my mail filtered, who _knows_ how many of my bots would get blown up by crappy explosives and whatnot, and it’s not like I can just change my known address to my actual one.

What the hell would I put on envelopes? ‘Mountain Palace, Land of Nowhere, China, Area Code and House Number Inapplicable, But It’s The Only One There, You Can’t Miss It’? Like that’ll go over well with the postal system employees.

Anyways, as a sign of thanks for building them the spacecrafts they wanted (in addition to the thousands and thousands of dollars they paid me), NASA sent me some free merchandise from their store.

Whoever packed this thing for me…I love them. I honest to god _adore_ this person and if I can find out who it was precisely, I will go down on them; even if it’s a chick, I’ll grin and bear it--

You most certainly will _not!_

\--AND NOW THAT I HAVE MY JOURNAL BACK, I can talk about just why this gift basket was completely fucking awesome.

I was expecting it to be lame, ‘cause of my public reputation as being completely amazing and a genius; I was expecting, like, books and pens and documentaries and shit.

Instead, NASA chose to appeal to my immaturity: they sent _toys._

As of this moment, my room ( _my_ room, not Chase’s) is covered in glow-in-the-dark stickers, Chase’s cats have been annoyed by about an hour of shooting small plastic discs at them with a teeny gun, I’ve put together about six Lego models of various types of space crafts, there’s a couple of unfinished puzzles sitting around in several locations, I took a bath when I wasn’t dirty just to try out the scented, star-shaped bath confetti, and I’ve finally convinced Chase to make origami space shuttles and astronauts with me.

Awesome day? I definitely think so. XD


	270. 10/14/09

**10/14/09-**

Chase surprised me with an outing today! We went art-hunting, and that’s actually not as boring as it sounds. ;P

Apparently, Chase decided some redecorating/addition to his current menagerie of art was in order and me being his favorite consort, he wanted me along so we could pick out stuff we liked together. That way, there won’t be anything in his palace that I find genuinely ugly and we’ll both be happy.

First off, I knew a couple of things I’d want to see somewhere right off the bat, so I mentioned them to Chase and we rounded up some pretty neat pieces.

Frank Frazetta is this fantasy/science fiction artist that I’ve followed for awhile. He’s done some pretty cool stuff, and considering Chase’s and my involvement in supernatural dealings, he fits in with our style, so to speak.

Death Dealer has always been my favorite: huge guy with red eyes and a bloody axe on a demon-looking horse with fire raging in the background. It’s sincerely awesome.

But, there were a few other pieces by him that were cool, too, so, y’know, we picked up more than one. I think I like him ‘cause he works in kind of an old school style, one that most artists in similar lines of work would scoff at ‘cause it’s not high-tech and new.

I love high-tech and new, but I can still appreciate the classics. ;D

After that, we essentially raided some museums for stuff we liked. I was surprised that we went there, ‘cause there are some pieces of art that money _cannot_ buy. I mentioned this to Chase, who told me that of course we wouldn’t be paying for it, we would just be taking it: as Heylin, it is our right to do so.

Me: So, what, we’re just gonna steal stuff? Won’t somebody notice it’s missing?

Chase: Not if it’s replaced with a magically-created replica so good it might as well be the original. >=3

Me: What if I wanted the Mona Lisa?

Chase: You’d have it within the hour. Do you?

Me: Hell no, I don’t like chicks half-smiling at me mysteriously. If I want to be half-smiled at mysteriously, I’ll say something moderately stupid and _you’ll_ do that.

Chase: *snert!*

Anyways, after that, we crashed some art auctions and such for less-known artists, or even new ones on the scene. As it turns out, Chase and I both like paintings/sculptures/whatnot with dark themes (evil, it’s to be expected) and he does not mind my particularly liking for the use of skulls as symbolism.

According to him, skulls take him back to ‘the good old days,’ and I’m almost positive I shouldn’t ask just what those days were. XD

Surprisingly, I had a lot of fun today; not just ‘shopping’ around for artwork, but people-watching and hanging out with Chase in general. I imagine today was something like what a newly-wed couple who don’t hate each other yet goes through when shopping for their new apartment/home.

It was...nice. <3


	271. 10/15/09

**10/15/09-**

Today began with both Chase and I bored out of our skulls and sitting like lumps on the couch.

We did that right up until I uttered the sentence, “I’m bored, let me braid your hair.”

At first, Chase was not 100% open to this idea. He is very defensive about his hair, so even though I’ve handled it before and been perfectly respectful of it, he was wary of my styling it.

I swore on my life (which would surely be over if I broke my promise) that I wouldn’t make any knots or put in cornrows or something stupid like that, and after a little wheedling, he finally agreed to it.

I tried out a whole bunch of different braid styles and I can say this in confidence: Chase looks good no matter _how_ he styles his hair.

Seriously, he’s a hairdresser’s wet dream. It’s long, soft, and silky and cooperates perfectly with brushes and hair ties and the color is just gorgeous. If you’re not looking closely enough, you could mistake it for plain black, but the green highlights he has totally make the look 1000% sexier.

Anyways! I tried a bunch of different types of braids: French, Dutch, even fishtail which looked kinda neat on him, but eventually, I decided he looked best in an English braid.

All that long, beautiful hair tied back, plaited all pretty like that… _sexy!_

Pedrosa certainly thought so when he showed up.

Yeah, _he_ showed up again; he has a habit of doing that when nobody wants him.

Apparently, he had come over with the intention of seducing Chase back to him. I guess the video of _us_ having sex that I sent awhile back had made him adequately jealous of our sex life and he probably already watched it more than three times (after which, it would’ve been destroyed by my nanites: make Rai jealous of us, yes; give him free porn to use whenever he wants, no).

Of course, he just proved utterly that he has no business being with Chase in any way, shape, or form because to regain Chase’s interest, he brought over: a porno mag, a dildo, some cheap wine, and _flowers._

Where are the chocolates, Forrest Gump? God, what a douchebag!

Chase and I pretty much just laughed at him for ten minutes because what kind of idiot tries to get an elegantly evil Heylin everlord sexually aroused with porn, booze, and flowers? He tried to explain himself, but that just came out as stupid sputtering. The only intelligible thing he said was that Chase looked good with his hair braided.

Me: Thanks, I do pretty good work.

Pedrosa: _You_ braided it?

Me: Yup. Looks nice, doesn’t it?

Pedrosa: He _let_ you?!

Me: Sure, why wouldn’t he? It’s not like I’d mess it up or anything.

Pedrosa: *seethes*

Me: Oh, what’s wrong? You look upset. Didn’t Chase ever let you touch his hair?

Pedrosa: *MORE seething*

Me: Awwww, that’s sad. I don’t think he’s ever _not_ let me play with his hair before. *combs out the braid with my fingers, purposefully taking my time and enjoying it* It’s _crazy_ soft, but I guess you wouldn’t know that.

And then, Chase looped an arm around my waist and kissed me all romantic, which was apparently the final straw, ‘cause Rai went running off all pissed.

Actually, I think he was so mad, he was crying, which was really priceless; Chase and I were laughing about that one for a long time. XD

It’s fun to shove the fact that I’m Chase’s consort in people’s faces. I think I oughta make a habit out of it. =D


	272. 10/16/09

**10/16/09-**

I’ve been a spectacular fuck today, if I do say so myself. ;D

Yesterday’s thing with Pedrosa…well, he was trying to seduce Chase with porn, which is a stupid plan. He’s really not a porny kinda guy.

However, he does make an exception, and that’s in regards to our own personal home-made porn.

Why, yes, most of the day was spent adding to our porn collection, however did you guess? >;P

While we were doing this, Chase confessed to me that he’d like a few camera stills of us in coitus, particularly shots from his point of view to whack off to on the off-chance that I’m unavailable for the real thing.

I decided some Chase-eye-views would be an awesome addition to the collection, along with some Jack-eye-views for me. They were pretty easy to take once I fished out a camera I’d made a few years ago: small, thin, held a little bit like a Neuralyzer from MIB, all you gotta do to get a picture is press a button and it takes a shot of the whole landscape before it, which can be reduced to just the matter of focus, later.

We got some _really_ nice ones out of the ‘photoshoot.’ Of course, there are pictures of us sucking each other off, various positions of sex, all of which look great, but then there was one picture that was less sexy and more…well, I dunno what it is.

At one point during one of our many afterglows, Chase and I were biding some time kissing and just like that, he snapped a picture of us making out!

Considering this isn’t particularly arousing, I’m a little confused as to why it was added to our porn collection, but I guess there’s the matter of it being able to bring us back into a pleasant moment in between sex. Maybe years down the line, Chase’ll look at that picture or watch any of the videos we made and remember me fondly.

I doubt Chase would leave them out in the open if they existed, but I still haven’t seen any porn or pictures or videos of any of Chase’s previous consorts lying around.

I kind of like the idea of that. I could very well be the only consort Chase has ever documented in any way other than memory or jotting their name down somewhere.

Damn, when I die, I’ll be leaving behind a _legacy._ Take that, Chase’s past/future consorts! XD


	273. 10/17/09

**10/17/09-**

And, today, I foresee that there will be no porny antics, because Chase has once again holed up in his study researching who the hell knows what.

I guess this gives me time to work on my weather machine, which is good, but still…sexy funtime with my overlord would be awesome, too.

Ah, well, I’d best get to the lab.


	274. 10/18/09

**10/18/09-**

Okay, Chase is acting kinda weird. I’m thinking he’s having Heylin PMS or something, which makes me wonder if he hasn’t told me about something that happens every 1,000 years on this day.

I was downstairs in the lab, working on a supercharged Tesla coil for some lightning-making/thunderstorm-causing, and out of nowhere, Chase pops in!

Normally, I would take no issue with this: I happen to like it when he interrupts me in the middle of work, especially when that interrupt comes in the form of holding me from behind and nuzzling my neck.

However, he wasn’t horny, of which I’m certain as I couldn’t feel it (through the Consort Sense or a poking sensation on the back of my thigh), and then, the weird questions started.

He asked me a whole bunch of odd, totally out of context stuff, like if I care if I ever learn magic or if I’d consider it a gigantic loss to no longer be able see the color purple.

I know, WTF, right? o.0

Then, he asked me a _really_ weird one: he wanted to know how I’d feel about being bound to him; like, can’t start fucking someone else, can’t betray him, can’t ever leave his side.

Aren’t I pretty much doing that _now?_ I dunno what he’s worried about. I’m his consort and I’m in _love_ with him. Surely, he’s realized by now that I’d be totally happy to stick around as such for as long as I can?

Maybe something happened that I don’t know about, like, somebody else in the supernatural circle is trying to piss Chase off by stealing his consort and has started making threats to do it. Maybe I said something to Chase that could’ve been construed as ‘I am unhappy and will probably leave you.’

Maybe Chase likes our arrangement so much, he wants to ensure the fact that I’ll stick around until I get old and ugly…?

Ahh, what am I saying? I shouldn’t go getting my hopes up like that. I have a frickin’ Tesla coil to finish, I don’t have time to ponder my overlord’s weirdness. X(


	275. 10/19/09

**10/19/09-**

Some exoplanets were discovered today, 32 more precisely, thus breaking the record for the number of exoplanets discovered in one month _and_ one day, for that matter.

If I hadn’t already finished that little project for NASA, I’m willing to bet there’d be more pressure on me to finish it than all the pressure in the Mariana Trench (15,750 psi, by the by).

However, since I _have_ finished building the space crafts, that same pressure is now on NASA to get off their asses quicker and get more people into space.

My prediction of seeing it happen in one or two months has now changed to either _late_ this month or early _next_ month. Hopefully, anyways: I’m more than sick of people lurking around on what is, as far as I’m concerned, _my_ planet.

Anyways, it turns out my overlord pulled an all-nighter on whatever the hell he’s been doing, ‘cause he never came to bed last night and I found him in his study again this morning looking like he most _certainly_ hadn’t slept in the past twenty-four hours.

On some level, I know he’s a very busy man and probably has stuff to do that I can’t possibly begin to comprehend in my lifetime even _with_ my superbrain (and great, now, I’m imagining my brain wearing a cape; thanks, egotistical brain), but I still really hate when he does stuff like this.

Partially, he’s a little less drop-dead sexy when he looks exhausted and partially, I kinda just hate the fact that he’s not feeling 100%. Note to self: try not to pull any all-nighters myself on the off chance that the previous sentence applies to Chase’s feelings regarding me, as well.

Anyways, I decided to take a break from my weather machine to drag Chase away from his work and make him a nice breakfast: bacon, eggs, sausage, muffins, cupcakes, even a few cookies just for the hell of it.

Chase took one look at the food, looked at me, and said that if he’d had any doubts about what he was doing, my concern for him dispelled them immediately.

Of course, he refused to say any further on the matter of just _what_ he was doing, so I’m still in the dark, and he then proceeded to enjoy his breakfast.

He probably never expected his tea to be drugged.

Yeah, yeah, I know, bad me, but really, since when should I be giving a fuck about being good? I. Am. _Evil._ Plus, it was to Chase’s benefit, so, y’know…it’s better that I did something underhanded and sneaky rather than nothing at all.

Besides, he’s drugged me to get a break before; I don’t see why I can’t drug him to _give_ him a break.

Anyways, I made sure the dosage was _high._ Like, high enough to be a lethal dose for 50% of a population (or the LD-50, as it’s commonly referred to) of normal humans. It had to be high if it was gonna work on the superhuman dragon man with increased resistance to pretty much everything. I suppose this was how Wuya figured out how much of that Viagra-shit to use on Chase: whatever will probably kill a normal human ought to be enough to somewhat affect Chase.

Either way, it worked and about twenty minutes into breakfast, Chase yawned and declared that he was _exhausted_ and in another ten minutes, he was snoring on the table.

I really have changed from the old days. I’m now both strong enough to pick Chase up and tall enough to be able to hold him over my shoulder caveman-style.

…which, actually, lead to an awkward confrontation with Diol in the hallway.

Diol: *spots me carrying an unconscious Chase, zooms over*

Me: Oh, no, don’t worry, Diol, he’s fine. I just drugged him.

Diol: ……

Me: Oh, wait, it’s nothing like that, I’m just taking him to the bedroom.

Diol: o.o

Me: Oh! No, I’m not… I’m not gonna… it’s not like that, it’s just better for both of us if he’s unconscious!

Diol: O.O

Me: ……Erm, never mind, I’m just…gonna take Chase to bed, now, and we’ll both pretend this conversation never happened. >////<

Diol: *slowly nods*

Ah, man, I need to work on my phrasing choices in situations like that, huh? XD

Anyways, I tucked Chase in a few hours ago and I imagine he’ll be up again in a few more. I still haven’t figured out whether he’s gonna kill me or not for this, or even if he’ll determine that he conked out because I slipped him what was essentially a roofie instead of just being tired as hell (which, for the record, he was).

Probably: he’s not stupid and he occasionally reads my journal, so I imagine he’ll eventually deduce what happened.

I also imagine he’ll be less inclined to murdering me horribly if I’m in bed with him when he wakes up, ready to suck him off at his command.

I’m gonna go snuggle with Chase for a few hours (fully-clothed, of course; wouldn’t want to give him the impression that I’d pulled a Wuya and drugged him _and_ used his cock without his sound-minded consent). I could use a nap and god knows I could use the brownie points to be gained in being on hand to give my overlord a ‘good evening’ blowjob or something! ^^;


	276. 10/20/09

**10/20/09-**

To answer yesterday’s question, yes, Chase was mightily peeved about being knocked out.

In combination with the complete lack of sleep the night previous and the drug I slipped him, he didn’t wake up until past midnight. He shook me awake, asked me what happened, and I told him he passed out during breakfast and I dragged him to bed: not a lie, but only a partial truth.

He seemed to accept this, ‘cause he didn’t question it, and I thought I was home-free when he kissed me and things started getting a little hot and heavy, if you catch my drift.

As it turned out, I let my guard down too easily, not to mention I underestimated Chase’s superhuman senses. He could taste the chemicals from the sleeping pills; he hadn’t been sure until he kissed me and tasted the difference, though. That, and once I thought things were going towards a roll in the hay, I didn’t think anything of him taking my hand close to his face; he’s kissed or sucked my fingers before to turn me on. Really, he was using that crazy-awesome nose of his check for any traces of chemicals on my hands like the ones he tasted.

Unluckily for me, there was still a faint scent, ‘cause I ended up pressed into the sheets with a hand locked around my throat as Chase snarled, “You little bitch, you _drugged me!_ ”

Of course, it didn’t help my case that I squeaked, “Busted,” in response to that.

Honestly, I think it says a lot that he _didn’t_ kill me right then and there but rather gave me a chance to plead my case.

Upon being given the chance, though, I told him the truth ‘cause lying _would’ve_ gotten me killed and I’m not ready to die yet.

I told him that I was…concerned about him. That he had been essentially dead on his feet and still pushing himself to function and I kinda…hated it. I mean, he knows how I feel about him, doesn’t he know by now that his health matters to me, too?

Chase was still annoyed, but I guess my explanation appeased him because he decided not to kill me.

Chase: *frown* If you were concerned about me, you could’ve just _asked_ me to rest.

Me: And would you have?

Chase: ……Touché.

So, y’know, it proved to me that my actions were completely justified. Workaholic everlords do not simply rest whenever they’re told to; it doesn’t happen.

Still, after the danger of being murdered passed, things got hot and heavy for real. It felt…different, though.

Usually when Chase and I have sex, it’s urgent ‘cause _need orgasm_ is the only thought going through your head when you’re having sex that good. This time, it was…

Well, I dunno, actually. We took our time and Chase was gentle, which he doesn’t always do. It felt oddly romantic, moreso than our usual fucking sessions.

I don’t know if he was apologizing for nearly choking me or if I was apologizing for slipping him a roofie, but we were both focused more on the…the ‘connecting with another being’ part of sex instead of the orgasm.

Honestly, it was really nice. I feel like I’m not…conveying it so well, but…I sometimes have a hard time talking about particularly emotional stuff and I’ve never been awesome with words, anyways. I feel like something is gonna get lost in translation here, but fuck it, _I_ know what I mean.

Chase. He…called me something. I have no idea what it was he said. I think the language itself was older than three-fourths of my whole family tree; it probably isn’t even spoken anymore, so, I doubt I’ll ever just stumble across its meaning.

I don’t need to know what it meant to know it sounded beautiful. The _way_ he said it, too, like it meant…something special, maybe?

It was enough to push me over the edge. I just…I dunno. I dunno. I’m kinda confused, I guess. We’ve had sex so many times, but it never felt so…intimate? Maybe? I don’t know the right word for it.

Afterwards, we just lay there for awhile. Usually after really good sex, Chase’ll smoke a cigar or something and if I’m not completely numb, passed out, or in the mood for another round, I’ll go take a shower and put my clothes back on.

That didn’t happen this time. Chase didn’t go for the cigar box on the bedside table even _once_ and when I instinctively sat up to go shower, he pulled me back down and we just…cuddled for awhile.

I liked it a lot. I don’t know how to say it any simpler than that.

I guess we fell asleep like that, ‘cause I woke up sometime this morning with Chase gone. I went looking for him and found him in his study again, reading…stuff that I _still_ cannot figure out with the passing glances I’ve gotten.

He greeted me, kissed me, and asked me to bring him some tea, preferably sans the drugs this time.

Chase actually trusted me with that. After what I’d done just the day before.

Of course, I was flattered enough by that sentiment that I did it without question. I even brought him some brownies to snack on and warned him that if we weren’t both in the same bed by the end of the day, I’d conk him over the head with a rock and _drag_ him to bed if I had to. He laughed and told me not to worry, and it’s safe to say that I haven’t all day.

I’ve gotten some more done with my weather machine while he’s been busy doing his thing, and I’ve got tornadoes and thunder/rainstorms down. From here, I imagine it won’t be too difficult to flesh out the precipitation stuff a little more in order to be able to control cloud cover and such.

One, two more days of work tops and it’ll be finished. =D

Ah, and as the evening draws to a close, my overlord finally comes to bed, looking as if he could use some serious love from his consort. Maybe a back/neck/shoulder rub will make sure he doesn’t go to bed aching… <3


	277. 10/21/09

**10/21/09-**

I think I’m done with my weather machine. The prototype I made seemed to work just fine when I tried it out this afternoon, anyway.

So, both Chase and I spent the morning working on our respective projects. I finished mine up, showered, got something to eat, and went looking for Chase.

I found him just as he was closing some ancient tomes.

Me: No way, are you done, too?

Chase: *sigh* I believe so. I’ve searched through just about everything I can get my hands on, and what I’ve found is…the most ideal.

Me: The most ideal what, exactly?

Chase: The m--……nice try, Spicer.

Me: *grin*

Chase: You mentioned that you were finished, as well?

And that’s when I let Chase know that my weather machine was essentially done and that I wanted him to come try it out with me.

I then proceeded to whip out an old favorite, the Tech GTC, and Chase and I were quite suddenly at Punaluu Beach in Hawaii.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Chase? I probably have, but even moreso, now, ‘cause his first instinct upon seeing that we were at a beach was to pull me close and try to shield me from the sun.

Or at least, he attempted to do so before he realized that there _was_ no sun to speak of; not really, anyways.

Y’see, I’ve always wanted to go to a black sand beach ‘cause of how cool they look, but I am regrettably delicate: more than twenty minutes, _tops,_ in intense sun, and I’m a lobster.

So, I’ve been to a couple of black sand beaches, but only at night when the sand and water is _cold_ and thoroughly unpleasant.

Now that my weather machine has been all but finished, I decided I was within my rights to use my immense public sway to close off the beach today and pretty much blot out the sun with a crapload of clouds in order to enjoy a nice day out with Chase. >=D

Nice it was, though! It was mostly dark, like my previous visits, but _unlike_ them, it wasn’t cold as hell. The sand, and the water, was so _warm,_ like it’d just been really sunny but there _was_ no sun, so I didn’t get burned…!

Oh, man, if there _is_ a heaven, it’s napping in some soft, cozy black sand next to an even cozier dragonlord.  <3

After we dozed for awhile, swam a bit, and enjoyed some sex on the beach (and I _don’t_ mean the drink), I noticed Chase taking some of the sand.

I decided to play angel’s advocate, so to speak. ;P

Me: *gasp* Chase! Don’t you know it’s illegal to take sand from these beaches?

Chase: Yes, I’m aware. Your point?

Me: How could you stoop so low as to _break the law?!_

Chase: As it turns out, I could care less about the law. Besides, I require some black sand for my own project. Why waste this opportunity?

Me: Because it’s _wrong!_ How could you even _think_ of doing such a thing, Chase?

Both of Us: ……LOL! XD

So, after we completely failed to keep straight faces during that, I decided to take some black sand, too; as a souvenir, though, not to be used for something. Then again, I imagine it could come in handy for something. In my line of work, I guess you never know when you’ll need tiny volcanic fragments, but for now and until further notice, I’ll be keeping the sand as a memento.

I hope Chase enjoyed our ‘date’ as much as I did! =D


	278. 10/22/09

**10/22/09-**

Y’know, Halloween is coming up and I haven’t given a single thought to what I should do until just now. o.o

I guess it’s awhile off, still, but I’ve been getting invitations to all sorts of highbrow parties for a month, now, and it only really hit me today that they’re happening in, like, a week.

I dunno, should I dress up? Am I too old for costumes? I know I’m too old for trick-or-treating; that door closed once the houses I used to frequent realized that my ‘costume’ was just a variety of minor accessories and that my hair/eyes/skin weren’t makeup.

Although, I do have very fond memories of encountering old Mrs. Zhào a week after Halloween, being reminded that it was, indeed, a week ago, and then explaining to the decrepit bat that that was just how I _looked._

I swear, you’ve never heard a little old lady scream so loud in your _life!_ XD

Anywho…back to this year. I still like Halloween and I feel like something should be done, but I don’t know what. Again, I don’t want to be overly cheesy, but at the same time, I don’t really want to go to any of the galas I’ve been invited to, ‘cause…

Well, they’re galas. They tend to be quite lame when _not_ held on holidays and thoroughly obnoxious when on them. *eyeroll*

Hmm…maybe I should just hang around the palace. Exchange scary stories with Chase, break out the candy stash and pig out, watch some tacky horror flicks…something like that.

Either way, I guess it’s still a ways off, so I have plenty of time to confer upon this with Chase and hear what he wants to do. Though, I doubt he’ll have a problem with any of the above activities so long as I share my candy with him and he gets a blowjob sometime during the proceedings. ;D

Perhaps I shall ask him. He might even be proud of me for not suggesting we dress up, get drunk, and egg/TP the Xiaolin temple! =D

…Y’know, unless he _wants_ to do that, of course…


	279. 10/23/09

**10/23/09-**

Honestly, I didn’t do too much today.

I added the finishing touches to my weather machine and now it’s _officially_ done instead of just effectually, but other than that…

Kinda nothing.

Well, actually…I guess that’s not entirely true. I hung out with Chase, but it was nothing groundbreaking. We live in the same dwelling and are regular sex partners: we find ourselves in the vicinity of one another fairly often, believe it or not.

Still, I enjoy spending time with Chase. I liked him _before_ we started fucking; before I even finished puberty/had any significant grasp on the concept of sex. There’s a reason he was my idol and there was a reason I considered (and still do consider) myself his number one fan.

We mesh pretty well, and not just in the physical sense. We’re both evil, so there tends to be very few moral conflicts between us and we both have similar senses of humor. However, I’m perfectly willing to admit mine is more immature than his by a mile, maybe more.

We’re both smart and both antisocial. I’m more antisocial in the colloquial sense that I just don’t like people. He’s closer to the actual personality disorder in which an individual doesn’t consider himself part of society and is therefore excellent at controlling others through wit, charm, and other such manipulative methods without remorse.

Ah, man, I’m making myself horny thinking about his evility. Soon as I finish this entry, I am _so_ fucking his brains out! XD

Anyways, we’re similar in a lot of ways, but not enough that things get boring between us; like if we were talking to carbon copies of ourselves. In terms of examples, consider strength vs genius, ancient vs modern, pure skill vs advanced technology, reserved vs loud.

In some ways, we’re a lot alike, and in others, we’re complete opposites. We work, and I like that about our…relationship? Whatever it is we have. I like it.

That said, I’m off to find him and express just how _much_ I like it.  <3


	280. 10/24/09

**10/24/09-**

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Did you forget about Bean and Wuya, too? ‘cause for awhile there, I did.

I was…unpleasantly reminded of both of them today.

Chase had gone out, ingredient-hunting for his project, he said. So, I was home alone, as I usually am when Bean decides to pop in on me.

He’s still…very intent on having me. Honestly, the whole event was a clusterfuck and I _really_ don’t want to talk about it, but on the off chance that I end up blocking today out entirely, I kinda have to.

Bean and Wuya showed up. I haven’t seen Wuya since she got her ass whooped by Chase and she looks no more happy these days than she did then.

I was…assaulted. A little bit physically, but more verbally, and strangely enough, the latter hurts more.

They essentially tag-teamed me with insults. They acknowledged my current success in evil and business, but then immediately cut me down by talking about how things _used_ to be: how weak I was, how naïve I was, how incompetent…

I know it was in the past, but it still hurts to be reminded.

They went on to talk about how cozy I seem to be with Chase, now, how…comfortable I am. They called me stupid in many different ways for doing this and pointed out all the flaws in it.

Chase isn’t a one-man man. As long as he’s been living as Heylin, he’s had multiple partners, _never_ just one, and he’s certainly never been able to restrict himself to only male genitalia, or have I forgotten Chase’s sexual escapades with Katnappé already?

They also made it a point to remind me of the average length of Chase’s consorts’ periods of influence: a couple of months, tops. Sure, I’ve exceeded the previous maximum length of time, but only by a few months and who’s to say I’m not just the new record to beat for the next consort?

Bean stepped up to talk to me one-on-one, Wuya just watching. He told me he could see what I felt for Chase; how much I loved him. He then told me how foolish I was to stay with Chase, as if in the hopes that he would someday love me back.

I know he won’t. I’m not even sure Chase is capable of feeling love, anymore. But, it still hurt to be reminded.

Then, Bean surprised me and turned into Chase. Apparently, he’d found the Moby Morpher again from wherever Chase had hidden it.

He got close to me, cupped my face in his hands, and mimicked Chase’s sex-voice so perfectly it was scary.

Bean!Chase: He’ll never feel the same thing for you that you do for him. Your cause is hopeless. All you are to him is a fine piece of ass that’s sometimes useful out of bed. You deserve better.

Me: Sh…shut up…

Bean!Chase: You know it’s true, _Jack…_ You’re worthy of much more than a fleeting role as his consort. *pulls me closer, our noses barely touching, and a look of love in his eyes* He’ll never look at you this way, Jack. He’ll never touch you the way you deserve to be touched, like a precious treasure. He won’t…but I would.

Me: What?

Bean!Chase: Come with me, Jack; with us. We’ve all got our own grudges against Young and we can help you show him that your poor feelings are not to be trifled with. You deserve the best, affection included…and he can’t give it to you. So…what do you say?

Me: …I…I…

Thankfully, that’s about when Chase returned and literally pounced Bean off of me. I didn’t stay to see the fight, I couldn’t.

I’d been so close to saying yes to that _thing,_ closer than Chase could ever realize.

I just ran. I ran to my room and locked myself inside because _dammit,_ I needed to be alone and think for awhile.

I wasn’t worried about Chase. I knew he could handle them: he’s Chase Young, for god’s sake, and if they were trying to enlist me to help them, they obviously weren’t ready to take him on.

I don’t know how much later, but I was proved right when Chase came to find me. He realized my door was locked and surprisingly enough, he knocked and asked if I was alright.

I laughed. No. No, I’m definitely not alright. I’m really…shaken.

Of course, Chase did not just leave it at that and ‘ported into my room. Seeing me on my bed with my knees to my chest somehow didn’t reassure him of my well-being and he held me for awhile, trying to get me to talk about it. He wanted to know what they said to me to make me react like I was reacting, but…

How could I tell him? How could I tell Chase that I was so rattled because Bean and Wuya had gone to great lengths to remind me that Chase would never and could never love me?

I’m sure that’d go over well.

Eventually, he conceded that I wasn’t going to tell him anything any time soon and left. He pet my hair and kissed my forehead first, though, which was…nice. I felt bad that I wasn’t up to reciprocating the attention, but…

I just wasn’t.

I need to think for awhile. I just…need to think.


	281. 10/25/09

**10/25/09-**

I woke up this morning in Chase’s bed, being cuddled like I was a teddy bear.

As soon as he realized I was awake, Chase kissed me and nuzzled my neck. After awhile, he asked me if I felt alright.

I told him I felt as best as can be expected.

He tried to get me to tell him what happened; told me he’d listen if I wanted to talk about it and I could tell him anything.

I’m not so sure I can.

Still, I guess he sensed I was closing off from him again, because he dropped that line of questioning and didn’t bring it up again.

He said… Chase told me he didn’t like to see me cloistering myself from him, especially when I was as upset as I was. He reminded me that I’m his consort; that I’m not allowed to wallow in self-pity or whatever it was that was bothering me without considering how that affects him. He looked at me and…

It was almost like the look Bean had given me yesterday in Chase’s body.

Chase gave me _that look_ and said that he didn’t know what they’d said to me, but did I honestly believe it to be true?

I…

I don’t. I thought I did, but seeing Chase look at me like that…maybe it _is_ possible. Maybe he _can…_ you know.

I kissed him. I thanked him and let him know that I was starting to feel…a lot better.

And I am. It’s a long-shot, but the knowledge that there’s a _chance…_

I don’t care what Bean and Wuya say. If I have a chance, I’m going to stick around and take it.

I love him and I’m not just gonna give up without a fight.


	282. 10/26/09

**10/26/09-**

Things are settling back to normal, I think. Chase isn’t tip-toeing around me anymore, and I’m not giving him any reason to, which I think is good for me, ‘cause I feel like I’m not dwelling on what happened so much if Chase isn’t dwelling on it; at least not obviously, if he is.

Actually, I think we got past the last of the big issue of Bean and Wuya’s invasion of the palace today.

Chase and I were kissing, just passing the time, I guess, and things started to go further.

Chase: *stops* Are you sure you’re alright with this?

Me: …Yeah…why wouldn’t I be?

Chase: After what happened. You are…okay with sexual touching?

Me: Mmhmm.

Chase: *looks at me seriously* Spicer…Jack… Tell me honestly: did he touch you?

Me: Yeah, he touched me, you saw him-- oh… _Ohhhh,_ you mean, did he…? No! No, no, he didn’t do anything like that! I mean, he might’ve if he’d stuck around longer, but nothing _happened._

Chase: *looks at me some more, sighs* Good. I’m glad.

After that, sexual activity resumed, for which I was quite happy. Later, though, the conversation resumed and I was again put in a position where Chase was asking me questions I couldn’t really answer.

Chase: If he did nothing to you, why were you so obviously rattled?

Me: You know Bean. He just…said some stuff I didn’t want to hear.

Chase: Such as?

Me: Just…stuff. I had a mini-meltdown ‘cause he was really getting to me, but…I think I’m alright, now.

Chase: And why is that?

Me: *grin* Because I think there’s more than a small chance that he’s dead-wrong.

And I really do. I never even entertained the possibility before; y’know, that Chase could…reciprocate, eventually.

But lately, things have been really good with him, almost like a…well, like an actual couple kinda thing.

I’m under no delusions that he’s in love with me now, but I think it’s actually possible sometime down the line, something I’ve never stopped to consider before. The idea of it, alone, is awesome.

So, I’m happy and despite the fact that I’m still not saying a word about what I think Bean was dead-wrong about, I think Chase is happy, too. In fact, I think he’s in a good enough mood for a snuggle! I’ll be off to find him for one, now.

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: I really do love that man. <3


	283. 10/27/09

**10/27/09-**

Things are _definitely_ back to normal. How do I know this, you may ask?

Simple: Chase and I had a good, old-fashioned sex-day.

It started by accident, honestly. We were having breakfast; I was eating a grapefruit and solving some ‘unsolvable’ equations and happened to look up long enough to see what Chase was doing. As it turned out, he was enjoying one of my cupcakes…while playing Sudoku.

For the record, _not_ the teeny, cheesy ones you find in newspapers. No, Chase was playing _real_ Sudoku, the kind that are huge and immensely complicated for the average person’s brain to figure out.

Physically, Chase is sexy. He’s strong and gorgeous and the shallow part of me adores that about him.

Then, there are moments like this when I remember he’s more than a hot body and a pretty face: he’s _intelligent,_ too.

This turns me on about as quick as his being evil does, maybe even moreso.

I imagine he noticed me staring at him for a full, uninterrupted minute pondering these things, because he quickly looked up and asked if he could help me.

Me: Y…you play Sudoku?

Chase: Yes. It passes the time. Why?

Me: No reason, I just…say, what level is that one?

Chase: There isn’t a name for this level of difficulty. I suppose if it were named, it would be titled, ‘Ludicrously Difficult.’

Me: You don’t say… Is it…is it hard for you?

Chase: Not particularly.

Me: *struggling to force down a boner* Y’know, Chase…I don’t think I’ve ever asked, but…um…what’s your IQ…?

Chase: *raises eyebrow* I’m not sure of the exact number, but I believe it’s somewhere just above the 200 mark.

My Pencil: *snaps*

Chase: O.O *realizes what’s going on, smirks* Ahhh…does that excite you, Spicer? That your lover is a genius, just like you?

Me: Uh…a little, yeah, actually.

Chase: Then, come here. Watch me.

Me: o.o *hesitantly comes over*

Chase: *proceeds to effortlessly fill in a third of the puzzle in ten minutes*

Me: *fails completely to control my hard-on!* Chase…

Chase: *smugly* Yes, Spicer?

Me: I am going to walk away, now. I will be in the bedroom and should you choose to follow me, I will do a variety of filthy things to you that you will remember for the rest of your long, long life.

And I sure as hell did! _God,_ it revs my motor, so to speak, that Chase is so damn perfect! The obvious ways are nice, but the fact that he’s a goddamn genius, too, is such a deal-maker!  <3

Yet another thing we have in common: intelligence to the point that mortals tremble at the mere _thought_ of what we can do with our brains.

Of course, that’s not to say I don’t like what we can do with our bodies, and thinking about our minds has got me wanting to take advantage of our bodies some more.

Just in time, too: consort sense has just started going off like _crazy!_ Must be away! ;D


	284. 10/28/09

**10/28/09-**

Frankie called me up today and invited Chase and I to a Halloween party they’re having. I turned him down on behalf of both my everlord and I.

Honestly, I don’t think I want to leave the palace on Halloween, much less go to a party. I just feel like I don’t want to make a big deal out of it this year, I guess. I imagine Chase feels similarly; _how_ many Halloweens has he lived through? I’d imagine it’s boring to him more than anything else at this point.

I told Frankie no offense, but I was just gonna hang out at home that day and to give Richie my best.

Chase, when I told him the invitation had been declined, seemed pleased about it. I doubt he wants to go to the trouble of picking out new costumes for us, getting all dolled up, and going out to associate with people, anyways! XD

Currently and on another note…without any projects to occupy my in the lab, I’ve given myself a project to work on in the kitchen.

I am making quite a variety of tarts and such. I’ve decided that there will be no dinner tonight: only dessert. This is a one-night thing, of course, lest both Chase and I get fat, but what’s the point of being evil if you can’t screw the rules once in a while? ;D

As of now, I’m working on Bakewell tarts, treacle tarts, butter tarts, meringue tarts, neenish tarts, and one big banoffee pie.

I foresee that I will be praised quite a bit and maybe even get my dick sucked for doing this. XD


	285. 10/29/09

**10/29/09-**

Okay…I’m almost positive Bean was wrong. He had to be, there’s no way what he said could have any credibility whatsoever.

If he were right and there were no chance at all that Chase could…y’know, then he sure as hell wouldn’t have been researching ways to make me immortal.

I discovered this groundbreaking tidbit of information upon emerging from my lab sometime this afternoon. I hadn’t been doing anything important, just some random tinkering. Building stuff is compulsive for me and besides that, there’s always a couple of my Mechanical Legion of Doom that need some minor repairs.

Anyways, I finished up with that and went looking for Chase. I went to his study first since that’s where he’s been most of the past times I’ve gone looking.

 _He_ wasn’t there. _His notes_ were.

To my credit, I did not go snooping through them _trying_ to find out what Chase had been up to. In fact, I didn’t even touch them.

I did, however, look at the top sheet of paper on the stack, which happened to be a glyph-translation key for what I assume was the rest of the work being translated.

I saw the one character I’d helped Chase to translate: the one for ‘newt.’ Then, I looked at the rest of them and things became very clear very quick.

Phrases like ‘prolonged life’ and ‘eternal youth’ really _can’t_ mean anything else.

Upon realizing this and what Chase apparently planned to do, I left quickly. I could’ve rifled through the rest of the papers to figure out exactly how this was going to be done, but then I really _would_ be snooping and I don’t particularly want to give the impression that I’m going against Chase’s wishes (that I not know about any of this, yet) on purpose.

Speaking of which, I’m still not sure why Chase would keep it a secret. I’m thoroughly flattered that I’m even in the _running_ for a position as a permanent consort!

I guess maybe he’s not quite ready to ask me yet, or maybe he’s not entirely sure how I’d react to the offer.

I don’t think I’ll tell him I know about it. It would put both of us in an awkward position if it turns out he’d changed his mind and it would embarrass him and depress me if I admitted that I knew and then it turned out that the method he’d been researching didn’t pan out.

Still…this is huge. Half of Bean’s argument was that Chase changed consorts like other people change underpants and I was gonna be on the way out _soon._ If Chase is trying (and has apparently succeeded) to figure out how to keep me alive _forever…_

There’s more than a slim chance that he could maybe someday love me back. In fact, it’s probable. Hell, I was able to get him to go from hating my guts to finding me sexually attractive to making me his trusted favorite consort in less than a year! Imagine what I could do with an eternity!

I’m gonna go looking for Chase again. I think I’ll surprise him with some ‘god, I love you so much right now’ sex. ;D


	286. 10/30/09

**10/30/09-**

So, I’m in the kinda-doghouse with Chase and surprisingly enough, _not_ for knowing what he’s up to. He still doesn’t know that I know and I’m not gonna tell him.

No, what I’m in trouble for is distracting my overlord for several straight days in a row, particularly before Halloween. Now, Chase doesn’t have enough time to figure out an appropriate barrier spell to block spirits from his palace.

Yeah. As it turns out, Chase is such a badass guy, in battle and in bed, that people he’s killed, fucked, or both have a tendency to return from beyond the grave on All Hallow’s Eve to haunt him.

Having fucked him and fought him on several occasions, I completely believe this.

Chase’s complaint about me being too distracting has come about because he had _wanted_ to figure out some sort of barrier thingy to keep the spirits from bothering us. He’s used to being pestered by a veritable army of ghosts, whereas I am not and he wanted to spare me the hassle.

Then, however, after first being reminded of Halloween, we had a sex-marathon, Bean and Wuya dropped in, I made him a smorgasbord of pastries, and Chase has thus ended up with no time to do these things and is mad at me.

Well…not really _mad_ at me, more like fake-mad. The kind of mad where you _say_ you’re mad, but you don’t really care so much and everybody knows it. After all, if he were _really_ pissed at me, we wouldn’t have been snuggling half the day! ;P

Anyways, since he hasn’t had time to do the barrier thing, we’re _gonna_ be hassled by spirits tomorrow, so Chase decided to give me some tips in order to make it more bearable for me.

1) Try to ignore them. It only makes things worse to acknowledge their presence.

2) They are not tangible, so don’t be intimidated by any of their threats. They can’t touch me anymore than Wuya could back when she was a ghost.

3) Don’t listen to any of the sexy ones. They were probably his consorts at one time or another and are probably jealous of the current consort: me. They will say anything to convince me that Chase sucks/is a jerk/has a venereal disease/etc.

4) Don’t listen to any of the not-sexy ones. They were probably one of Chase’s enemies at one time or another. They’ll be looking to hurt Chase by hurting me and will say anything they can to make me feel bad about myself.

5) If one absolutely has to be given, the best possible comeback to any insult any of them tries to use is, “Well, that sucks, but at least I’m still alive!” The ghosts that regularly haunt Chase hate being reminded of the fact that they’re dead and will usually fuck off for an hour or two if this is pointed out to them.

And finally, 6) Try to stick close to Chase, ‘cause he has the most experience with these spirits and generally knows how to handle them.

So…I think I can manage. It probably won’t be the _best_ day of my life, but it’s doable.

If anything, I think it might be cool to get a peek at Chase’s past through the people he used to associate with. The men and women he used to fuck, the warriors that made an enemy out of him…I’m sure they’ve got plenty of cool stories to tell about a younger Chase, not _all_ of them lies made out of spite.

Either way, tomorrow should prove…interesting. Good or bad remains to be seen.


	287. 10/31/09

**10/31/09-**

Well. Today was definitely…interesting. And I _still_ don’t know if it was good or bad.

So, this morning, I was woken up by that distinctly eerie feeling one gets when something no longer living passes directly through your body. I opened my eyes, jerked upright…

…and was promptly cursed out in Italian by a pretty young lady.

This, I later found out, was one of Chase’s more recent consorts, Noemi. She’d been a Mafia princess whose family was associated with Chase and she ended up dying in a car bombing.

I can’t say I’m not thinking ‘good riddance.’ The bitch was insulting me for ten straight minutes before Chase showed up to rescue me.

He himself was being trailed by some Mongol-warrior looking guy who’d chosen to surprise him in the shower and mock the size of his penis. Of course, the insults were ineffectual, as everybody knows that Chase is surprisingly gifted in that area.

Chase, however, was irritated that his shower had been interrupted and shooed the bitch harassing me away with obvious annoyance.

Chase: Leave him be, Noemi, you have no grudge with him!

Noemi: He sleeps in your bed! He is your lover and that is grudge enough for me!

Chase: Spicer, come here.

Me: *scoots out of bed*

Noemi: Wait…Spicer? _Jack_ Spicer? The clumsy little nitwit you would always complain to me about?! D= <

Me: *glares at Chase* Hey!

Chase: You _were,_ then! Particularly notice my use of the word, ‘were.’ That was then, Jack, you know that things are different, now.

Me: Mrrr…well, alright, then.

As the day continued, things fluctuated between unpleasant and fairly good.

I met some more consorts, some of Chase’s enemies, and to be honest, not very many liked me. Of course, I’m not surprised in the least.

However, I did have an interesting conversation with a Xiaolin monk and a former prostitute, both of whom had the pleasure of enjoying some time in Chase’s bed.

Chase was off dealing with a wider array of spirits that were bugging him and I got pulled aside by these two.

Lei-Feng (the monk): So, tell us, white one, how are you enjoying your current arrangement with Chase Young?

Me: Um…fine, I guess.

Lacie (the hooker): ‘Fine’? Just ‘fine’? Oh, come on, now, don’t be shy! We’ve all had a ride on his cock, here. Tell me, does he still use that little trick in bed? The one where he rolls his hips _just_ so?

Me: *BLUSH*

Lacie: Ahah! So he does! I’ll have you know I taught him that! ;D

Me: Erm…thanks, I guess.

Lei-Feng: Chase has always had excellent taste in consorts and you’re no exception. You’re quite attractive for a mortal, Spicer.

Me: Yeah, thanks, but I somehow feel like things won’t work out with us if you’re trying to hit on me. Y’know, you’re Xiaolin, I’m Heylin, you’re dead, I’m alive…

Lei-Feng: *snort!* Your sense of humor is deplorable.

Lacie: It sure is! I’ll just bet Chase loves that about you. How long have you two been fucking, anyways? Three months, four months, what?

Me: More like nine, actually.

Both: O.O

Me: What? o.o

Lacie: Chase usually gets bored after a few weeks! Things haven’t gotten stale with you, yet?

Me: Um…no, not really…?

Lei-Feng: Forgive us for being surprised, Spicer, but you must understand that a man like Chase holding the same consort for _nine months_ is…well, it’s unheard of.

Lacie: What’s your secret?

Me: I don’t have one. We just…we fuck and we…I dunno, talk and hang out and shit…

Lei-Feng: ‘Hang out’? You mean _outside_ of sex?

Me: Yes…?

Lacie: He _lets_ you?! I know when he was with me, the most conversation we had outside of sex was, ‘your place or mine?’

Lei-Feng: It was similar with me. When we weren’t having sex, we talked a bit, but it seems like you’re suggesting that you engage in more than small talk.

Me: Yeah, I mean…we don’t always have sex, if that’s what you mean. He keeps me around for more than just that.

Both: *share a look*

Lacie: Jackie, dear…when was the last time Chase got some tail on the side?

Me: When was the last time he fucked somebody else? Jeez, I dunno… More than a month or two.

Lei-Feng: That tears it, then. You’re one lucky young man, Spicer.

Me: Lucky? What for?

Lacie: You don’t get it? He keeps you around for more than just sex, he hasn’t gone to anybody else for sex in _awhile,_ and you’ve had his attention for almost a year! You’re practically monogamous!

That was about when Chase finished up with his pests and found me to make the monk-hooker duo leave me alone, and then, we all sort of gathered for some sort of feast-type thing; some Chinese ritual or other to keep the ghosts from being _too_ bitchy. I’d hate to have seen what they were like if we didn’t do that, but even so…I’m a little excited.

I mean, I’d already been thinking about what Chase and I have and what it might mean that it’s different from Chase’s usual modus operandi, but having my ponderings reinforced by some of his past lovers makes me feel good about it. I mean, if I’m not the only one who came to that conclusion, there’s a greater chance that I’m right about it.

As of now, it’s a little after midnight and the ghosties are gone. I’m in bed, but Chase said he wanted to go meditate before joining me. Something about it being a long day and needing to think on things.

Today was a little weird, but on the whole, I think it classifies as a Happy Halloween. =D

*is shot for that corny ending!*


	288. 11/1/09

**11/1/09**

I was wrong. Bean was right the whole time, I can’t believe I was so _stupid_ to even _hope_ otherwise.

Fuck. Just…fuck.

I’m finally coherent enough to write about this, _barely,_ but I…it’s still…

Before…Chase wasn’t home and I…I was curious, so…

Chase taught me how to use his Eye Spy Orb, so I…

He was fucking _Rai._ Just…on top of him and screwing him into next week!

I know Chase has fucked other people before, even Katnappé while he had me, but…I’ve never fucking _seen_ it before! The only times I’ve ever caught him with somebody else was right before or after. Actually _seeing_ it…

It hurt way too much. I mean, I’m a _consort,_ for god’s sakes, not a fucking _husband!_ Seeing him with somebody else shouldn’t feel like there’s a cleat squishing my heart into paste, goddammit!

This isn’t…I was never supposed to… It’s not safe to keep doing this. I’m too attached, it’s _not_ acceptable. I’m not _okay_ with other people anymore, I can’t _do_ this…!

I…I’m out.


	289. 11/2/09

**11/2/09-**

Chase came over wanting to know why all my things were gone from the palace, including everything in the lab.

I told him it was over. I told him I couldn’t keep _doing_ this with him after yesterday, and he demanded to know what I meant by ‘yesterday.’

Heh. He actually had the gall to try and pretend he _hadn’t_ fucked Rai’s brains out until I told him I’d fucking _seen_ him doing it.

He, of course, got angry at me for just leaving without even telling him the reason why. What the hell was I supposed to have said to him? ‘Caught you boning a guy I hate and realized I got too close to you than is safe, so I quit’?

Then, we started fighting. Or rather, he did; I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. I don’t know what the fuck he’s so mad about, I’m just his bitch, after all. He’s proven time and time again that the only thing he needs me for, he can get from other people: heterosexual sex from Katnappé and homosexual sex can once again be provided by Pedrosa. I don’t see why I, specifically, am important.

Chase basically called me an idiot twenty different ways for trying to leave him, and that pissed me off. What the fuck does _he_ know? He isn’t me, he doesn’t know how I feel, so how the fuck can he know the best course of action for _me_ in this situation?!

I did something then that I thought I’d never have enough balls to do: I slapped him right across the face.

It certainly got him to shut up for a minute in his shock that I would _dare_ raise a hand against the Mighty and Powerful Chase Young, so I took whatever time I had before I was almost certainly going to be strangled to death to give _my_ side of the argument.

I told him that seeing him with Pedrosa yesterday made me realize that hey, I’m actually _not_ okay with him fucking other people. He is an overlord and must be allowed to fuck anybody he wants, and if his consort can’t handle that, they shouldn’t continue to be his fucking consort anymore in that they’re not suited to the job.

I asked him to leave, told him I needed some goddamn space. Surprisingly, he did not snap my neck for striking him and he actually _did_ leave, but not before muttering something under his breath.

“Dolt.”

He called me a dolt. The fucking _nerve_ of that guy, after all the shit he’s put me through…! This isn’t the first time we’ve split up, and every fucking time it happens, _he’s_ at fault.

 _He_ tells me to take a hike after he finds out Wuya’s been drugging him. _He_ tells me to back off for awhile when I let on that I think his dragon-form is hot. _He_ tells me to leave him alone when he finds out I’m in love with him.

And now, when _I_ catch him with somebody else and try to split us up, _I’m_ a dolt?!

No. No, fuck _that._

I’m not just gonna sit here and take that from him. Not again.

I’m gonna do something about it for once.


	290. 11/3/09

**11/3/09-**

Today has been a busy, vengeful day, so far.

I spent all of last night planning and researching and building all the stuff I needed, and today, I stuck a proverbial potato in Chase’s tailpipe.

I wanted him to know that it is _not_ okay to break my heart and then call me an idiot, and I think that’s been adequately accomplished.

After a lot of practicing on dummies, I paid a visit to the Xiaolin temple. It was the middle of the night, so everybody was sleeping, including Pedrosa when I found him.

He didn’t stay that way for too long, not when I grabbed him by the head and twisted _just_ so.

There was an extremely satisfying _CRACK,_ and Raimundo Pedrosa is paralyzed and _will_ be paralyzed for life. I’ve set up a crapload of red-tape for the Heal-Me Juice in public circulation and it can now only be obtained through a doctor: no doctor in the world is authorized to use it to treat this asshole.

Then, I decided to pay Katnappé a visit. Since she legitimately works for me and hadn’t yet heard of Chase and I’s falling out, she wasn’t suspicious at all about my being there. We talked briefly, had some tea, and then I stabbed her in the neck with a syringe.

Said syringe was loaded with nanites, but not fertility or infertility or anything like that: they were special nanites that I programmed last night to be hormone blockers. They’ll all concentrate in Ashley’s brain and when things start happening that would normally trigger physical arousal, my bots will block the hormones and absolutely nothing will happen.

Katnappé will never be horny again so long as she lives. She should be grateful for the privilege, as she won’t be confined to a wheelchair until the day she dies, like Pedrosa.

Then, I took a small break and went back home for awhile.

As expected, Chase was soon over demanding to know what the _fuck_ I was doing.

Me: I’m venting. *takes remote out of pocket, presses button* I’d be heading home if I were you. I think you’ve got some damage control to take care of.

Chase, having seen what atrocities I’m capable of earlier that day, wasted no time trying to glean information from me and went straight home to see whatever I’d done.

I imagine he’s _still_ trying to set things to rights after the explosion I detonated that took out at _least_ a fourth of his mountain.

As it is, I’m spectacularly horny right now: evil does that to me.

I think I still have Allen’s phone number written down _somewhere…_


	291. 11/4/09

**11/4/09-**

I am writing this from within Chase’s palace. No, I did not agree to being his consort/minion/ _anything_ again, and no, we did not patch things up.

So, yesterday, I called Allen up. Surprisingly, after how generally crappy I’ve treated him, he came over.

God, he’s sweet.

Soon as he got over, I dragged him upstairs to the bedroom and let him know that I was done being a jerk of a tease to him, and would he like to finally go all the way with me?

He agreed immediately, of course.

So, I was riding him and it was _awesome._ He looked so cute, really: his dyed blue hair was plastered to his forehead, and he was biting at his lip-ring like what I was giving was almost too good to take…

Yeah, that was good for my ego.

At one point, I stopped, which had us both groaning in needy disappointment, but I just had to talk to him seriously for a minute.

I apologized for being a bitch to him in the past and for only getting with him on the rebound, which I doubt made _him_ feel good about himself. I told him what a great guy he was for putting up with me, and I let him know that I didn’t want to beat around the bush with him anymore.

He started to ask about Chase, the guy I was openly caught having sex with and am most often seen in public with, and I said, and I quote, “Fuck him,” and briefly explained why.

Chase is an asshole to me. He’s great for sex, but if I were to try to have an actual relationship with him, like _I_ want, it wouldn’t work out either because he’s a slut or because he hates monogamy and he would soon toss me out on my ass for trying to suggest any different.

 _That’s_ why I left after I saw him with Pedrosa, by the way. Seeing that hurt me more than it would hurt someone who’s only in it for the sex, and I knew that if I stayed with Chase, I’d only end up pushing for a relationship (consciously or unconsciously) that would be flatly denied and I’d get kicked out.

I didn’t leave out of the blue, I left preemptively: I would’ve been _made_ to leave at one point or another, and best to get it over with.

Anyway, I told Allen that he wasn’t the type to play those stupid fucking games with me and that I really liked that about him.

I asked him if he’d like to hook up for real, for more than just sex.

Unfortunately, I never got an answer because Chase blows dead bears.

He showed up out of nowhere and literally _yanked_ me off of Allen’s dick and threw me into the nearest wall. By the time I looked up, Allen was little more than a bloody pulp on the bed.

The old, “If I can’t have him, _nobody_ will,” mindset: nice.

At that point, I was naturally annoyed and started to yell at Chase, but he proceeded to backhand me (probably revenge for slapping him), throw my clothes at me, and told me to, “get dressed, whore.”

The second I had my clothes on, I was grabbed hard enough that I think my wrist is fractured, ‘ported to the side of the palace that’s _not_ covered in rubble, and locked in my old room.

There’s really nothing in here since I moved out and the only reason I’ve got my journal is because it was in the pocket of my coat. There’s nothing I can use to escape and nothing I can do to occupy myself.

I’m guessing I’m stuck here while the Bitchlord of the Mountain has whatever bitch-fit he’s having.


	292. 11/5/09

**11/5/09-**

So, Chase finally deemed fit to talk to me.

He is, of course, pissed about pretty much everything, but what I mainly got from the snarling earlier was that he did not give me _permission_ to leave him and since he’s the overlord, I should’ve listened to him.

I think I won the argument, though. He was growling at me for at _least_ twenty minutes about how he didn’t okay my leaving and I should’ve stayed as his consort until further notice, and blah, blah, blah, and I didn’t say a word; I just listened until he was finished.

Chase: _Well,_ Spicer? What do you have to say for yourself?!

Me: *calmly* I see your point completely. I should’ve stayed on as your consort so you could keep fucking me without my consent, of course. I’m sure you’ve always _wanted_ to rape somebody, and that would’ve been the best way to do it.

He was so _pissed…!_ I’m honestly surprised he didn’t start breathing smoke right then and there!

I guess I’m still not worthy of terrible murdering just yet, though, ‘cause he ‘ported somewhere else to presumably kill something and blow off steam rather than just take it out on me.

I hope he has an aneurysm, the cocksucker.


	293. 11/6/09

**11/6/09-**

FUCK. Fuck _exponentially!_ In fact, Fuckedy-Fuck McFuckerton from Fuckville!

Chase has officially gotten me back for yesterday. I’m _so_ pissed off right now because he wouldn’t have been able to do what he did if my slightly-younger self’s lack of foresight hadn’t helped him.

Chase: Well, Spicer, I imagine you’d like to be allowed to leave, now.

Me: Uh, yeah. I definitely would.

Chase: That’s too bad, because you won’t be leaving anytime soon.

Me: You can’t just _keep_ me here!

Chase: Of course I can. You _owe_ me.

Me: …what?

Chase: You owe me, or have you already forgotten the deal you made with me?

Me: The Wu deal?

Chase: Precisely that one. And, if you’ll recall the terms of the deal, for each Shen Gong Wu I retrieve for you to study, you owe me--

Me: *with a growing sense of horror* --an undecided favor of your choosing.

Chase: *grins* So far, you have accumulated a debt of 13 favors to me, including the Helmet of Jong; even though you made nothing from it, I still obtained it for you to study.

Me: Fuck!

Chase: As I’m sure you’ve determined by now, I am calling in one of those favors. I ask that you continue to live here.

Me: Dammit, why?!

Chase: Because I clearly need to keep an eye on you lest you destroy more of my things and because it obviously _annoys_ you.

That bastard, that fucking _asshole!_ I’m so mad at him _and_ myself that I could _scream!_

And son of a _bitch,_ do I wish I had my Medbot! I’m almost positive by now that my wrist _is_ broken, but I don’t have anything to splint it with and I’ll be damned if I ask Chase for help.

I guess I’ll just have to do my best not to move it too much so the bones don’t heal weird.

 _Fuck,_ but it hurts…


	294. 11/7/09

**11/7/09-**

Okay, my plan to just be careful with my wrist? FAIL. _Much_ fail.

Try taking a shower and brushing your teeth and getting dressed without moving one hand, but as a consequence if you do move it, SHOCK of painpainpainpainPAIN.

Think touching the sides in Operation, only a lot less funny. X(

Dammit, what I wouldn’t give for my Medbot right now…! ****

**11/7/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****Wrist problem is fixed. I guess the borderline-black hand-shaped bruise was enough of a giveaway to Chase that he’d done _some_ damage to me, but finding me curled up in a sobbing ball of agony after jarring my wrist harder than broken bones are meant to take was a sign of just how _much_ damage.

He healed it for me. Then, he told me that he hadn’t meant to hurt me.

What a jerk; like I believe that.

If it was ‘never his intention to hurt me,’ then why _did_ he? And I _don’t_ mean just physically.


	295. 11/8/09

**11/8/09-**

I didn’t talk to Chase at all today. We haven’t even looked at each other or crossed paths since this morning, and it’s approaching midnight, now.

I’ve already written a lot about how angry I was…how angry I _am._ But that’s not the only thing I’m feeling.

I’m…really hurt over this. It sounds stupid, but it feels like I’ve been physically wounded. My chest actually hurts whenever I see Chase these past couple of days. It’s a relief that today, I haven’t seen him; at least, in some way, it is.

The rest of it just makes me sad. I feel like a dumb kid again, because I _want_ to see him, even after what he did to me. I _want_ to talk to him and eat dinner with him and have sex with him and sleep in his bed, even though the thought of him and what he did with Pedrosa makes me physically ill.

My head knows better. I can’t trust him, not anymore. I used to operate under a system of, ‘if I don’t see it, it’s not happening,’ when Chase went to other people for sex, but…this time I _did_ see it. It _did_ happen.

And it wasn’t even a woman.

I didn’t like it when Chase fucked Katnappé, but I put up with it because I could make sense of it. Chase likes fucking people with penises and people with vaginas --> Chase is fucking me --> I have a penis, but no vagina --> Katnappé has a vagina --> Chase fucks Katnappé on the side. It was _logic_ and I understood it. She had a part of her anatomy that I legitimately did not have and there was a _reason_ Chase went to her for sex.

There isn’t one for fucking Rai.

It’s a logical process that doesn’t make sense. Chase likes fucking people with penises and people with vaginas --> Chase is fucking me --> I have a penis, but no vagina --> Raimundo also has a penis, but no vagina --> Chase fucks Rai.

Does not compute.

The only thing I can think of that would result in that outcome would be that there’s something wrong with what Chase and I hav… _had._ Our sex life was getting stale or Chase was bored of me or something wasn’t working that I wasn’t a suitable source of homosexual sex, anymore.

And who’s to say how long this has been going on? It could’ve been going on for months and I wouldn’t have known, nor would I have thought to question it.

Especially towards the end, there.

Chase and I were hanging out more, finding out that we had so much more in common than just sex, and Ashley hadn’t been involved in Chase’s sex life for months (or so I thought; for all I know, Chase just got more secretive about her). Things were great and I was so damn _happy…_

And now, this.

It’s stupid how hurt I am by it. I brought it on myself, after all. I knew what I was getting into from the start: a sex-only relationship, because Chase Young does not love and to ask him to do so would end whatever existing relationship there was, just like what happened when Rai tried to make Chase love him.

Then, again, he must be doing something right because after almost nine months of being Chase’s loyal, loving, and obedient consort/minion/apprentice/whatever the fuck I was to him, Chase turns right around and has sex with the monk that tried to make him into a boyfriend and later put me in a coma.

This is my fault. Bean was kind enough to warn me, for whatever reason, that this would happen, and I still…

God, I’m so fucking _stupid._

…Great…I’m crying.


	296. 11/9/09

**11/9/09-**

Essentially, I have been pacing all day.

Emotional turmoil is one, very big thing, but I can’t just sit around and mope all day. Make no mistake, that isn’t said out of any kind of optimism on my situation. No, far from it: I’m still very upset and confused and hurt and I very badly want to shut myself out from the situation and do something else to avoid thinking about it.

That’s just the problem. I _can’t_ do anything else. I’m essentially trapped in my room that has fuck-all in it but a bed and this journal. I can’t write all day and forgive the pun, but I’m tired of sleeping.

I can’t even wander around the stupid fucking palace ‘cause the hallway outside my room is being patrolled by jungle cats 24/7 and I get growled at if I try to leave at any other time than breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I’d try to reason with the fuckers, but I guess Chase doesn’t want me taking advantage of the fact that some of his warriors like me and has assigned cats I’ve never met to guard me.

This is irritating. I need to occupy myself somehow or I’ll go nuts and wouldn’t that be a waste? Jack Spicer, most brilliant mind on the planet goes completely batshit insane from a combination of boredom and cabin fever; expected to begin drawing crude, cartoon dicks on the wall for a cheap laugh at any moment.

Goddammit. I think I’m going to have to actually talk to him tonight.

Fuck.


	297. 11/10/09

**11/10/09-**

So. I spoke actual words to Chase last night and did not do anything stupid or embarrassing, like bursting into tears or blurting out some spur of the moment, ‘please take me back.’

I don’t want to be taken back. I want it to be over.

But, I talked to him. I told him I was sick of being cooped up in my room and it was driving me nuts. I asked for something to keep myself busy. Some books, a computer, my lab, I don’t _care,_ I just can’t sit around here doing nothing anymore, lest I go completely insane.

He took issue with my request. He told me there was a reason he hadn’t given me anything to entertain myself with because I’d probably just use anything at my disposal to either wreak more havoc upon his home or escape.

I retaliated by reminding him that we’d made a deal. We agreed upon the terms, shook on it, and swore to uphold our ends of the bargain.

As much as I _hate_ myself for it, now, I agreed to give Chase whatever he wanted in exchange for bringing me Wu to study and he asked me to stay in the palace. I’m bound to that agreement, and that means no escaping and no reckless destruction of property (because I unfortunately have to live here, too).

Chase took a few jabs at me, then, reminding me of how little I’ve valued promises in the past and asking me why he should trust me, now.

I didn’t say anything back. I remember thinking if he didn’t know by now that I’m not the fickle little kid I was, then he really didn’t know me at all.

There was a silence and I decided to just leave.

Chase: Spicer, wait.

Me: *pauses*

Chase: As who do you ask this of me? My consort?

Me: Your prisoner. *leaves*

I haven’t heard from him since, and I can’t say I’m all that disappointed. This whole…thing is easier to handle when he’s not actually around.

On the bright side, I wasn’t ignored.

There isn’t much _on_ TV during the day, but it’s better than staring at a wall, feeling your brain turn to mush from disuse right there in your skull.


	298. 11/11/09

**11/11/09-**

I’m so angry, I can hardly see straight. My brain, _my_ brain!, can barely even process the events that have just occurred and if I could manipulate fire like three people in my life that can, I’d be  blowing _smoke._

Because I am dead.

Or, at least, that’s what the rest of the world thinks thanks to Chase.

He faked my death. He faked my death. He faked my death.

How the fuck did he fake my death?! I _still_ don’t know just what the fuck he did, but I turned on the news today and there’s a reporter standing in front of hysterical mourners describing to me the accomplishments of my life and how great a man I _was._

At first, I was just confused as to how I’d been mistaken for dead, then angry that somebody made such a big mistake, and then just plain upset because I am _not fucking dead, goddammit._

And then, I saw Chase giving a statement about me being the finest mind of my generation and how I will be dearly missed and things made sense.

I was pissed. Understandably so, I’d think.

The cats tried to growl at me when I started leaving my room, but I was too angry to be intimidated and I literally kicked one in the face on my way to wherever the fuck Chase was.

When I found him, it was World War III, or it was from _my_ end of things, anyways. Chase just sat there and smirked his jerky fucking smirk at me the whole time.

Then, by the time I’d just about screamed myself mute, he finally said something.

Chase: I was merely helping you to enact your plan, Spicer. Now that the public believes you to be dead, they’ll have no qualms about leaving you behind when they venture out into space using your technology. I thought that was what you wanted…?

Me: That was _before!_ Before we…before you…back when I actually _wanted_ to stay with you!

Chase: *shrugs* It’s too late, now. The whole world thinks you’re dead, Spicer. Your company is without its president, your fortune is no longer yours, and your home is without an owner. You _must_ stay with me, now, Jack: you have nowhere else to go.

And goddamn him, he’s _right._

I’m seriously considering rescinding that previous comment I made about not destroying the palace because I have to live here, too. I think it might be worth living in a pile of rubble just to get back at Chase for doing this to me.

That goddamn son of a bitch.


	299. 11/12/09

**11/12/09-**

Frankie to the rescue!

…Kind of, anyways.

This morning, Frankie showed up, totally furious with fists aflame _demanding_ that Chase let him see me.

Chase, of course, tried to play it off like nothing and argued that I was dead, hadn’t he seen the news? Fortunately, Frankie was not fooled and Chase eventually broke down and brought him to me.

I explained to him what Chase had done and why and he was shocked that I would _want_ to be ‘dead’ until I let him know that it was done against my will.

I told him everything. I told him about our falling out, about what I did afterwards, about what _Chase_ did afterwards, and basically everything up until the faking my death bullshit yesterday.

Frankie was thoroughly pissed on my behalf, which I’m glad about, ‘cause it means I’m not being completely unreasonable, here.

Not that I was too worried about that, though. I’m pretty sure breaking up with a guy for cheating on you is pretty normal, as is being angry at him when he fakes your death and traps you in his palace.

He almost started a fight with Chase, actually. He was gonna march right up to him I guess, and they would fight and he would take me back home. He was going to inherit my company, my fortune, my mansion: everything. It’ll be like I was never dead; hell, we could even come out to the whole world and announce my current state of livingness.

Much as I would’ve liked that to work out…I put a stop to it.

1) Chase would’ve killed him. I actually kind of like my brother and don’t want him dead.

2) I _can’t_ leave. I fucking _promised._ Frankie grew up on the streets as a thug and doesn’t really get the concept of honor and promises, but I get it. I can’t leave the palace no matter how bad I want to, lest I regress back to the old days when my word meant so little to me that I’d betray people within twenty minutes of throwing my lot in with theirs.

3) If I told people I was alive…I think there would be more problems than benefits.

Yes, I’d have my company and my money in my direct control again, and that would be my fallback for whenever Chase decides I can leave, but…

Chase is the one who went about the process of faking my death in the first place. Obviously, he wants the world to think I’m dead and if Chase Young wants something, he damn well gets it.

If I tell the world I’m alive, he might kill me for real. I’m not ready to die, yet. I’m not.

I talked Frankie down from his murderous rage and convinced him to help me in a different way. I told him to give me a communicator-type thing that he had with him; sort of a high-tech walkie-talkie I’d made for us to keep in contact awhile back. He carried his with him at all times, and I kept mine in my room until I decided I was done being Chase’s whore and packed up everything back to the mansion.

I took his and told him where to find mine back home, so now, we can keep in contact.

If I need something or want him to do something requiring the use of my money or my company, he can be my ‘puppet’ so to speak. He’ll get done whatever I need done, and if something ends up going horribly wrong and I absolutely _have_ to get the fuck out of the palace lest Chase horribly murder me for whatever reason, I’ve got something, and someone, to fall back on.

Which, y’know, makes me feel a little better about this whole, ‘I am dead’ bullshit.

Before he left, Frankie decided to have a talk with Chase, privately. Honestly, I don’t know what was said, but as the conversation ended and Frankie walked away from Chase and out the door, I did hear one thing he said.

“Congratulations, dragon-nuts, you broke my little brother’s heart. I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

Then, he left. I remember Chase watching him go and then turning to look at me. We just…stared at each other for awhile.

I broke the stare and went back to my room. I didn’t have anything to say to Chase because my brother was right.

That bastard _did_ break my heart, and he probably _is_ proud of it.


	300. 11/13/09

**11/13/09-**

Another day without seeing Chase. More of those stupid ‘god, I miss him’ and ‘god, I hope he never comes back’ feelings again.

I thought I loved him. Granted, I don’t have much experience with love, but I thought that when something like this happens, you move past it. It’s a typical soap opera plot: guy cheats, girl cries, guy apologizes, girl accepts, happily ever after until next week when the guy’s evil twin brother is thrown into the mix.

Honestly, I don’t really know what to think, anymore, other than that soap operas really _are_ bullshit.

Chase never apologized to me. I don’t expect him to, of course. By all accounts, he did nothing wrong. As a Heylin everlord, it’s his right to sleep with anybody he pleases, so technically, he never ‘cheated’ on me as there was nothing to ‘cheat’ _on._

I keep forgetting that part. We were never together; never a couple. The deepest thing we had was sex and servitude, I guess.

Chase never told me he loved me: he never had any intention of doing so.

Chase never made us exclusive: _I_ was exclusive to _him,_ but it never went the other way.

Chase never said he wanted me around forever: there was that project of his, but he never said it was for me and even if it was, there was no guarantee I would be kept around for anything more than being a loyal minion and providing good sex.

I, of course, must’ve jumped to conclusions too easily. Chase had been treating me affectionately, he hadn’t (to my knowledge) had sex with anybody else, and he’d been researching immortality…

I got my hopes up for nothing and the big, spiked boot of reality dropped on them like a ton of bricks.

Fuck, I don’t want to be here anymore. Even without seeing Chase, there’s _memories_ here, ones I don’t want right now.

But, I can’t leave. I’m stuck here with Chase and the memories and the knowledge that the pain I’m in right now is all because I was dumb enough to expect something that would never happen and got my heart broken.

I’m sure this must sound terribly emo. Maybe it does, I don’t care.

I just wish I hadn’t been so stupid.


	301. 11/14/09

**11/14/09-**

I’m in a weird place right now.

I’ve recently gotten out of a relationship, both my first and a particularly long-term one. The breakup was exceedingly messy. According to the entire world but three people (Chase, Frankie, and I’m assuming Richie by now), I am dead. I’m forbidden to leave what is essentially my ex’s palace despite the fact that we’re no longer having relations.

It’s just really…messed up.

Also, I kneed Chase in the balls, today.

He was trying to talk to me. I guess he was distracted or something, ‘cause it wasn’t coming out really well and I didn’t really catch much of anything other than the fact that it was about… _us._

That pretty much explained why Chase is keeping me around: he wants me to be his consort again.

On my end of things, I definitely don’t want to be his consort again. Well…I do, but I don’t. I want things to go back to how they were before, but I’m not stupid and I know I’ll just end up getting hurt again, so I don’t.

Anyways…Chase was trying to talk to me, trying to get me to talk to him, but I wasn’t really having any of that. If I wasn’t giving him the cold shoulder, I was making biting, scathing remarks that all amounted to, “No way in hell, back off.”

But of course, this is Chase Young we’re talking about and he does not back off, much less for somebody like me.

He was kinda pissed off that I wasn’t even giving him a chance to speak, but what choice do I have? That fucker is silver-tongued and he could easily make it sound like _I’m_ the one who’s just overreacting and convince me to be his dumb, oblivious slut again.

I’m done being used. I don’t want to listen to his excuses.

Still, he was irritated and I wasn’t listening to His Majesty, so he was mightily peeved. He cornered me, had me crowded up against the wall so I _had_ to let him growl at me, and then he _touched me;_ grabbed my arms and forcibly pressed me back.

I reacted automatically. My knee just jerked up and slammed into his crotch as hard as it could.

I count myself lucky I’m not dead. Before, I was just counting myself lucky that he hadn’t been wearing his armor so I’d actually hurt him enough to incapacitate him, giving me time to run to my room. Still, it’s been a few hours and if he hasn’t come to murder me horribly yet, I don’t think he will, so there’s that, too.

If I’m anywhere near _really_ lucky, Chase will have realized that I’m not just being melodramatic and this isn’t going to go away with some snuggles and pretty words. Maybe he’ll even let me go.

*sigh*…If I weren’t so cynical, I might actually believe that.


	302. 11/15/09

**11/15/09-**

Wonderful. I’m apparently going on a date tomorrow.

After a day of remaining holed up in my room, I eventually got called out for dinner. Unlike breakfast and lunch earlier, Chase was actually there this time.

Naturally, I was a little nervous. I _had_ nailed him in the cojones yesterday and I’ve never before heard tell of someone doing that and getting to live. I imagine this is because Chase has erased them from record and continues to torture these people who desperately want death to this day.

Dinner was awkward to say the least. Awkward and nerve-wracking. The whole time, neither of us made eye-contact, but I could feel his eyes burning holes in my skull. I was just trying to focus on getting through my steak without having my head lopped off.

And then, Chase made his announcement and I found myself kinda wishing he _had_ severed my head from my shoulders.

We’re going out tomorrow. _Together._

I get the impression that this is a date from the fact that I’m supposed to be ready to leave by evening and I’m supposed to dress nicely. Way I figure it, I’m being taken out to dinner.

I’m not really looking forward to this. I tried to refuse the invitation, but when I did that, he _forced_ me to agree to it with another one of the favors I owe him.

Yeah, still really hating myself for that.

Ugh, this might actually be one of the worst nights of my life. What the hell is Chase trying to pull with this, anyways?


	303. 11/16/09

**11/16/09-**

Worst. Date. Ever.

I knew it was gonna suck, but my fears were only confirmed when I was dragged to “Sounds of Brazil.”

I’m assuming Chase’s rationale behind this was something along the lines of, “I took him here the last time we split up and I had to win him back; maybe this will jog his memories of how awesome I am.”

If that _was_ the rationale, there are two problems with it: 1) _he_ was the one who broke us up then and 2) we had already gotten back together by the time we went there.

He was basically working under the assumption that, like last time, I would want to be his consort again (unlikely considering _I_ split us up) and that coming to a place where things had been fixed between us before would work (also unlikely, as the last time we were here, there was nothing to fix).

It went about as well as you’d expect.

Being that I had no desire to be on a date with Chase, my behavior reflected as such: I didn’t eat much, I didn’t talk much, and the first part of the evening was spent fervently looking around and hoping somebody would recognize my distinctive face and coloring and get me the _fuck_ out of there.

No such luck, as Chase explained upon noticing what I was doing, for he’d cast a spell on us: a ‘you don’t notice me’ spell. Apparently, it causes other people to acknowledge our presence, but fail to notice us _particularly._ So, of course, despite my white skin, red hair, and red eyes, I was not looked at twice, nor would anyone have listened to me if I’d outright said, “I am Jack Spicer,” because Jack Spicer is supposed to be dead.

And after I was told that…I dunno, I guess my situation just kind of…hit me.

I excused myself from the table, went to the bathroom, sat on the toilet in the same stall I’d once given Chase a blowjob in, and…

…and I cried.

I didn’t cry for more than five or ten minutes, and I wasn’t sobbing my heart out, but my life is kinda sucky right now. I’m trapped with the man who broke my heart ‘cause I agreed to a stupid deal and because he’s one of very few people who actually know I’m alive. It’s…it’s rough, honestly.

I took a little while to clean myself up before I went back to the table, but I’m pretty sure Chase knew what I’d been doing. After all, there’s only so much redness makeup can cover up on skin as pale as mine, and there was nothing I could do for my bloodshot eyes.

That, and his nose is too good. He probably smelled it.

He didn’t say anything about it, though, so the date continued on as planned…or _not_ as planned, I guess, ‘cause things didn’t really work out for Chase.

I’m assuming that he wanted to take me out to show me that he’s still interested in me and since he’s so seductive and awesome, I should go back to being his consort.

What _happened_ was a quiet, extremely awkward dinner in which he _tried_ to seduce me and failed miserably.

Honestly, if it’d been before this whole thing, I’d have been all over him. As it is, I want nothing to do with him. He’s gorgeous and amazing, but for me, specifically, he’s poison.

The evening climaxed when Chase finally realized that I wasn’t tripping all over myself and begging to be taken back.

Chase: *sighs, mutters* Why is this so _difficult?_

Jack: Because I don’t want you.

Chase: What?

Jack: You usually have an easier time of seducing people because they’re actively trying to get into your pants and any attention you give them is enough to make it work. I’m not like that, anymore. I’m _not_ trying to get into your pants, I _don’t_ want you in mine again, and for whatever reason, you’re not getting that.

Chase: …Spicer, I--

Jack: No. Just…don’t. Take me home.

Chase: …Very well.

And that about catches things up to the present time.

Tonight was a fiasco I’d much rather forget. Since I can’t, I’ll settle for going to bed and forgetting that this ‘date’ ever happened for however many hours I can remain sleeping.


	304. 11/17/09

**11/17/09-**

How in the _hell_ does Bean keep getting in?! I know he’s a being of unimaginable power and evil, but Jesus _Christ,_ how many wards does it take to keep this fucker out?!

As I’m sure has been made abundantly clear by now, I was fortunate enough to have yet another run-in with Bean.

This time, it happened at the totally-not-at-all-awkward dinner table, with Chase present.

That went about as well as you can imagine.

Of course, there wasn’t actually a fight. It looked like Chase _wanted_ there to be one, but Bean…

All Bean cared about was making fun of me.

His only topic of conversation was how stupid I was; how predictable this whole thing had been and how he’d _tried_ to warn me of what was going to happen, but I was just too naïve to listen to him.

Me: I know that well enough, _now._ What good is it to shove it all in my face?

Bean: I’m just pointing out how foolish you were being not listening to me. It would have saved you all this pain, y’know.

Me: I _know,_ alright?! Just…shut up!

Bean: I don’t think I will. You understand, now. I was right, wasn’t I?

Me: Yes, for god’s sakes, you were right! You were right and I was wrong! Happy?!

Bean: I wanna hear you _say_ it, Spicer. What was I so right about?

Me: Chase can’t _love,_ much less _me!_ You were _right,_ you rotten fucker!

Bean: *grins, glances between me and an oddly-quiet Chase* That’s just what I wanted to hear. Come look me up if you’re ever feeling bitter about things, sweetheart. *blows a kiss with his gross root-thing and disappears*

Needless to say, dinner was over after that.

As for me, back to watching crappy TV in my room, I guess.


	305. 11/18/09

**11/18/09-**

Goddammit. Goddammit, what the fuck is _wrong_ with him?! I don’t--!

Ugh. Fuck. I’m really nerved up right now.

Chase decided to throw away his 1500+ years of hard-earned wisdom and went off to find Bean so he could pick a fucking fight. On _Bean’s_ turf. By _himself._

What the fuck was he thinking?! He nearly got himself _killed,_ that lizard-brained _moron!_

I don’t even know what happened. The first I even heard of the fight was the sight of Chase, blacked out and bleeding profusely, being dragged into the palace by _Guan,_ of all people.

That was my cue to acknowledge the sincere badness of the situation: Chase would never ask for Guan’s help and Guan would never give it unless it was _bad._

There was also somebody else in tow, actually, which made it apparent that things were even worse.

Dashi. _Dashi_ showed up. Chase’s dead Xiaolin brother.

Chase told me awhile ago that Dashi used to haunt him regularly, regardless of it being Halloween or not. Something about spirits with unfinished business (AKA, ghosts) can haunt people they were close to in life whenever the hell they want.

Supposedly, Chase eventually got irritated enough that he said some harsh stuff, and Dashi’s spirit went away and hadn’t bugged him since.

If he’s here, _now…_

Fuck…fuck, could he really be hurt that bad? I know Bean is powerful, but I always thought Chase was at least kind of equal…

Is he…he isn’t…he’s not _dying_ is he…?

Fuck. Fuck, shit, goddammit, son of a _bitch,_ now, I’m _really_ nerved up!

Just ‘cause I don’t want to be with him anymore doesn’t mean I want him to _die…_


	306. 11/19/09

**11/19/09-**

I hate this. I can’t even describe how much, but I hate this, I really do.

Last night, when I figured out that Chase might be…really badly hurt, I went to find Diol. I know he and the other cats have a little bit of magic of their own. Not much, but I figured maybe if there were enough of them…

I asked to him round up some of the other warriors and get my lab ‘ported back into the palace. I figured it’d be a long-shot, this being against Chase’s wishes that I not have any resources at my disposal, but I guess Diol realized I wasn’t about to make another bomb to set off and wreck some shit, so he agreed to do it, and I got my lab.

Then, I started up the Heal-Me Juice personalization process and went to actually see Chase.

Fuck, he looked terrible. He was bloody and cut up, and I…

Goddammit, no, I’m not gonna puke again. I’m _not._

My first reaction was to yell at him. It was either yell or cry and maybe vomit _in front_ of him, and I can’t afford to show weakness like that, so I yelled.

Then, Dashi, who was still there, apparently, laughed at us. Said we were acting like an old married couple.

He found out very quickly how big of a sore-spot that is for me when I stood up, told him that Chase and I weren’t anything resembling a couple anymore, and left.

I barely made it my room before I _did_ puke and start crying.

Fuck, I really hate this. I hate that after what Chase did to me, the thought of… _losing_ him… _that_ way, still makes me feel like this.


	307. 11/20/09

**11/20/09-**

Chase isn’t dying. One the one hand, I’m grateful for this in ways I’d really rather not be. On the other hand, part of me is wishing he _were_ dead.

He’s been insufferable _all. Fucking. Day._

He’s been trying to…to _talk_ to me and _hang out_ with me, despite the constant hints and outright statements that I would rather he go away.

Apparently, not wanting him to be dead means I’m in love with him again.

…Yeah, no. Not really.

And yet, when I tell him this, he is so unbearably _smug_ about it!

No, Chase, that is not my ego preventing me from admitting I want you. No, it is not just me be stubborn. No, I will _not_ ‘come around, eventually.’ _No._

Having him around so much is…hard for me.

Fuck, he’s here, again.


	308. 11/21/09

**11/21/09-**

Too much of Chase being around with the state our…‘relationship’ is in has driven me to desperation, today.

Basically, I was on edge and I decided that I had to pick a fight just to get him to back off a little.

Me: It would’ve been so much easier if I’d just gone with Allen when I had the chance.

Chase: *darkens immediately* That pitiful mortal twerp?

Me: Yeah, that’s the one. He’d have been better for me, anyways, and I could’ve had him a _long_ time ago.

Chase: *glares at me, silently demanding I continue*

Me: Oh, what, like you didn’t know? Don’t you remember way back when, when I left the palace for a day out and came back tasting like another man and tried to hide it?

Chase: That was _him?_

Me: It was. We barely had anything, then. I don’t know what loyalty I felt to you that I turned him down, but I’m starting to regret it, now.

Chase: *GROWL, abrupt leave*

And thank god he did.

Honestly, I don’t know how much more of… _him_ I could’ve handled…


	309. 11/22/09

**11/22/09-**

Oh, joy. For my insolence yesterday, I’ve earned another ‘date.’

Of course, I put up a fight. I refused to go until Chase forced me to agree to it with yet another favor.

That leaves him with ten and yes, I’m keeping track. I won’t be doing anything for free, now, and the sooner these favors run out, the _better._

Oh, fuck _me,_ tomorrow’s gonna suck.


	310. 11/23/09

**11/23/09-**

Goddamn, fuck, shit, crap, _FUCK._

I’m irritated right now. Like…seriously annoyed.

Not because the date was terrible. That’s just it.

It _wasn’t._

At first, I thought it was completely ridiculous when Chase declared that we were going to take a ride in a hot air balloon. Somehow, Chase and a hot air balloon don’t really mix in one’s head.

But, I’d already promised I’d go on the damn date, so I had to grin and bear it.

I didn’t count on how much I love flying. I thought it’d be…I dunno, dimmed what with the fact that I was actually in a mostly stationary basket. I never got that exhilarating, on-top-of-the-world sensation in a standard commercial aircraft, after all.

I was wrong. With the hot air balloon, you’re _still_ on top of the world. You can still see everything below you like the entire Earth is at your fingertips, there’s still the sensation of the wind rushing through your hair, and there’s still that instinctive feeling of power. That, “I was not made with the intention of being able to tame the skies, but fuck you, Mother Nature, I did it anyway,” high.

The only real difference is that your feet are on something solid, and that’s negligible when your focus is outside the balloon.

Chase and I didn’t talk too much. He made a few comments every once in awhile that I half-heartedly sniped at and he asked me a few questions I only half-answered. One that sticks out in my memory was when he was asking my opinion on being so far above the other inhabitants of the world that they (rightfully) looked like ants, physically instead of just metaphorically.

I told him I’d have liked it a lot better if it were just _me_ there. The only problem is…

I didn’t really mean that.

I _wanted_ to mean it. I _sounded_ like I meant it. I knew that I _should_ mean it.

But I didn’t, really. I _liked_ having Chase with me.

I don’t know if he’s just getting better at manipulating me, or what, but while it wasn’t the best date I’ve ever gone on, I didn’t _hate_ it, and that bothers me.

I even let him hold my fucking hand! I mean, in my defense, I wasn’t really paying attention. I was just looking out the balloon at this really cool hill formation, and then a forest, and then just the clouds, and by the time I came back to reality, my hand was in Chase’s. I guess we’d been doing it for awhile, too, ‘cause my hand didn’t have that weird feeling you get when touched by/touching another person and acclimating to them.

I actually kind of liked the date. I let him hold my hand. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Guh, this would be so much easier if Chase would just be overbearing again.


	311. 11/24/09

**11/24/09-**

I realized something shocking today.

I have not thought about sex in almost a month. o.0

I know, right?! It’s crazy! I used to have sex every day; it was _weird_ if I didn’t! Now, I’m just…not…horny. Like, at all.

I guess it might be because of the place my head is in right now. Kinda hard to make yourself be sexually aroused after…jeez, let’s see: heartbreak of the epic caliber, forced to live with the ex against my will, have to put up with said ex’s attempts to get back together, deal with the fact that by all accounts, I am _DEAD_ (no, I’m still not completely over that)…

Not really the kind of things that inspire lust, are they?

However, I can use this.

These days, Chase has his ways of getting on my nerves. Especially when he says or does something that makes me not completely hate him, or at least momentarily forget about what he did to me.

Well, he clearly wants to fuck me. Why else would he be trying to make me his consort again?

So, I’ve got a secret weapon. Now, all I need is an opportunity to use it. ****

**11/24/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****Opportunity arrived at dinner tonight. I forget what I said, exactly; something relating to the fact that I was being kept at the palace against my will and didn’t want to be around Chase.

He responded with an obviously smug, “That’s not what you were saying on our date.”

I responded to _that_ with a very matter of fact, “Yeah, well, you killed my libido,” and explained to him that I hadn’t had a single sexual urge since the beginning of the month, when he so kindly took the liberty of bending Pedrosa over and fucking the living daylights out of him.

He looked at me, stood up, and left the dinner table.

I just got out of a conversation with Dashi. He’s apparently decided to hang around for whatever reason and basically pops up whenever he feels like it.

He said, and I quote, “You must’ve been a great piece of ass to make my little brother _cry_ over that.”

If there’s anything Chase _would_ cry about, it’d be loss of sex. So, yeah, I believe that completely and thank god I do, ‘cause it’s making it a lot easier for me to be pissed off at him.

He doesn’t want me back because he genuinely wants _me._ He wants me back because he misses sex _with_ me.

Well, fuck him and the horse he rode in on, ‘cause there’s no way in hell that’s happening.


	312. 11/25/09

**11/25/09-**

Chase seems very insistent on ruining my small victories against him. Every time I win an argument or say something that pisses him off, I get slapped with a stupid, fucking date.

For the record, and so I don’t somehow manage to lose count, a favor was used to make me go on this outing. This leaves nine favors in Chase’s, “Piss Jack Off” arsenal.

So, we went to see a movie. A private screening, of course, because the Almighty Chase Young does not view cinema with commoners. Neither do I, when I can help it, but that’s not the point.

2012, the End of the World disaster flick came out a little over a week ago. I don’t know or care how Chase found out I’m into disaster movies, but he did, and we went to see it.

It was pretty good. I liked it.

Unfortunately, I have a bad habit of talking a lot during movies, especially ones I like. I dunno if it’s my brain or what, but there’s, like, a constant stream of self-produced commentary running in my head when I’m watching something. So, a lot of the time, when I end up watching a movie, I purposefully go to a private showing or just get ahold of a copy I can watch at home before it comes out on DVD so I don’t have to face the potential of getting bitched at by whoever sits near me at a regular theater.

The date was a private showing, so this shouldn’t have been an issue. However, the only person around me was, you guessed it, Chase. And it seems that even though it was _him_ and I’m certainly not in the best mood with _him,_ he was the only person I could talk to in the theater.

And goddammit, I did.

I talked to him about stuff I liked about the movie, stuff I thought was ridiculous, stuff that was confusing or some type of plothole, and rather than have the decency to tell me to shut up, he was trying to watch the movie, he talked _back._

We had a conversation. We agreed on things. We laughed at stupid stuff. I was _civil_ to him; no, I was _nice_ to him!

Ffffuck, why can he do this to me? I _want_ to be furious with him all the time. Why does he keep making me… _not be?_

Dammit. At this rate, he….I’m… _FUCK._


	313. 11/26/09

**11/26/09-**

Today, I went down to my lab.

It was still there, and nobody stopped me, so I assumed I was allowed to waste some time tinkering and doing whatever down there.

I was halfway through some standard Jackbot repairs when Chase showed up.

I’m starting to think I’m stupid. I keep… _forgetting_ that he…you know. With _him._

So, we ended up talking for awhile. Like we used to, I guess. I imagine Chase liked that, ‘cause he started getting friendlier; closer, with more touching.

Funny how all it took was his hand on my arm for me to remember absolutely everything.

Naturally, I stopped talking at that point, edged away, got back to what I was doing.

I guess Chase wasn’t expecting the sudden cold shoulder, because he kept trying to coax a response out of me.

I gave him one.

Me: You fucked her right here, didn’t you?

Chase: What?

Me: Katnappé. You must have fucked her here.

Chase: I--

Me: Was it over my worktable? On the floor? Maybe up against that cabinet in the corner. Hell, it was probably all three, wasn’t it?

Chase: Spicer--

Me: Did you ever fuck Rai in here, too? Probably. I wouldn’t put it past you. You seem to like doing shit like that to me.

Chase: Spicer, don’t--

Me: Don’t what? I’m just trying to figure out how long all this was going on. Katnappé was since March, for sure. What about Pedrosa? How long was that happening?

Chase: It _wasn’t--_

Me: Don’t lie to me, Chase. Just don’t. I know about January and the first half of February. When’d it start up again? June? May? Maybe even April?

Chase: _JACK!_

Me: *shuts up for awhile* Never mind. It doesn’t matter.

And that’s about when I just left the lab and went up to my room.

To be honest…I’m glad I didn’t give Chase a chance to answer me. I’m not sure I could’ve handled it if I was right about anything.


	314. 11/27/09

**11/27/09-**

So, I’ve been up all night.

Yesterday, I was able to piss Chase off pretty good, but it was a double-edged sword. I can’t stop thinking about Katnappé and Pedrosa.

I want to believe I’m just jumping to conclusions out of hurt. That whatever I saw with Rai was a…a slip of control or something.

But I can’t _know_ that; not for sure. I could ask Chase, yeah, and take his word for it, but I can’t trust him. He wants me in his bed again, and if he thinks saying Pedrosa was just a mistake will make that happen any quicker, he’ll say it.

It’s the same with Katnappé. I’d…resigned myself to the fact that she’d be the side-bitch because of the whole ‘having a vagina’ thing, but then, Chase hadn’t even touched her in months and I got so _hopeful…_

But now, I can’t be sure _how_ long Chase went with just me as a lover, or if he ever did at all.

And goddammit, that _still_ hurts. The thought that I might’ve been _that_ close to having Chase – for real – and now, _this._


	315. 11/28/09

**11/28/09-**

I finally got to sleep yesterday a little after 3:00 AM. It was less of my brain ceasing to think about unpleasant things and more being so physically exhausted that I couldn’t _help_ but sleep.

I didn’t wake up until late today, and when I did…

Well, it was apparently around 8:00 PM and I was no longer in the palace. My clothes had been changed from what I’d fallen asleep wearing, for which I’m glad, considering it was _cold_ and I needed the extra warmth.

The North Pole. I cannot believe he dragged me all the way to the North Pole, while I was _asleep,_ for that matter!

According to him, he ‘had no choice.’ What he wanted to show me wasn’t going to repeat itself on command and if he’d let me sleep as long as I was planning to, we’d have missed it. He’d been courteous, of course, and taken the liberty of dressing me appropriately and carrying me out there so I could get as much obviously-needed rest as I could.

Gee, thanks for that. I’m glad I was able to get a couple more minutes sleep while you dragged me out to the North Pole without even a, “Hey, we’re going to the North Pole, now; heads up!”

Well, anyway, he was trying to take me to a specific spot, but I dug my heels in on that one.

I know an attempted date when I see one, and I wasn’t about to let him get a free one on me. I refused point blank to play along with anything he was doing unless he _made_ me.

So, I got him to use another favor, though he wasn’t happy about it. We’re down to eight, now.

We finally got to…wherever he wanted us to be, specifically, and sat down in the snow.

I’ll be the first to admit I was irritated. I’d essentially woke up on this date, and it was one I hadn’t wanted to go on, to begin with. It was just the two of us, in a completely desolate, _boring_ environment.

And it was _cold._

I don’t care _how_ many layers of clothing I had on, I was freezing. My lips were blue for hours, and I’m just now regaining feeling in my fingers. I pretty much stayed glued to Chase’s side because _he_ was warm. I imagine he planned that, of course.

Just as I was about to give up completely and demand to be taken somewhere my testicles wouldn’t recede _into_ my body from the cold, Chase nudged me and gestured up, and I realized what we were there for.

The aurora borealis.

You know…you see pictures and videos all your life, but…

It never really compares to the real thing.

It was beautiful. I’m not even sure I can…describe it properly, but while I was watching, I just sort of…lost myself for awhile. I forgot how fucking cold it was, I forgot that I didn’t want to be out there in the first place…

I forgot how pissed I was supposed to be at Chase.

There was a moment when…he put his arm around me. I turned to look at him and he looked at me. Neither of us said anything. I’m not sure, but I think _I_ was the one who started to lean in, first.

Dashi: _Kiss him,_ already!

Mood: *instantly broken*

Me: *remembers _exactly_ what’s what, scoots away* _Don’t_ kiss ‘him,’ Chase. Take ‘him’ home. We’re done here.

Chase was, of course, pissed off. Whether at me for not wanting to make out with him where our tongues probably would’ve frozen to each other, anyways, or at Dashi for fucking up the ambiance, I couldn’t tell.

Either way, that was pretty much the end of the date.

I really need to find a way to get these favors used up _fast,_ though. It seems I have no willpower whatsoever: every time Chase takes me out like this and tries to seduce me…

…I feel like I’m getting closer and closer to _letting_ him.

I can’t let that happen. I can’t let him…I can’t let myself get…not again.

Not again.


	316. 11/29/09

**11/29/09-**

Minimal contact with Chase today, but when I did see him, he let me know there’s another date in the works.

I’m going to assume it’s a restaurant-date and in public, because he said something about making reservations and he told me to wear one of my nicer suits.

This goes without saying, but a favor was used to make this date happen: seven left.

Blah. I’m not looking forward to it. I’m not looking forward to it because I _am_ looking forward to it, if that makes even the slightest bit of sense. It seems like the more dates I get dragged out on, the more I actually… _like_ them. So, basically, I’m not looking forward to looking forward to these stupid things.

Thankfully, I’m not completely without resources, anymore, so I don’t have to go on this date blind.

I’ve spent the better part of my day in the lab working on something similar in function to the Mind Reader Conch. No, I did not get the original for study first, as that would require involving Chase and putting myself deeper in favor-debt, and that’s the last thing I want.

No, I’ve had enough encounters with the Mind Reader Conch as well as how it’s been used with technology in order to be able to do it from memory, and as of now, I have a fully-operational mind-reading device.

Really, it’s just a tiny earpiece that can tune into different mental frequencies (words, sounds, images, memories, etc.), and the transmission seems to get fuzzy the further away the mind you’re trying to read is, but I’m hoping it’ll be somewhat useful.

If I can know what Chase is thinking on our date, I might actually be able to keep myself sane and unseduced. I’ll know what he’s gonna try and when he’s gonna try it, and I’ll be able to prepare myself accordingly to remain unaffected.

Ugh. I hope this works…


	317. 11/30/09

**11/30/09-**

For the record, it most definitely _didn’t_ work. I’m seriously considering destroying the Tech MRC out of spite for its failure alone.

So, Chase decided to take me to this upscale kaiten restaurant somewhere. Food was excellent, the view was nice (we dined on the top floor), whatever.

I had the Tech MRC earpiece in and tuned into Chase’s frequency and I was all set to handle the date with suitable aplomb and indifference.

Yeah…that failed spectacularly, actually.

We sat down, started viewing the selection of food passing by on the conveyor belt, and I started ‘listening.’

I, of course, regretted it immediately when it turned out that Chase was thinking very vividly about blowing and fingering me right there on the table.

Naturally, I choked on my sake, having not been ready for that mental image at all, prompting Chase to ask if I was alright. I muttered some stupid lie, that the sake was maybe too strong for me, and I think both of us knew what bullshit that was, considering my tolerance for alcohol.

For whatever reason, though, Chase decided to go along with it and asked if he should order something more delicate. Accompanying this question was the fantasy of pouring trails of sake on me and licking it off.

I said no to that, of course, and then he asked me if I’d care for anything at all. The response he was imagining/hoping for was me answering something to the effect of, “Yes, you,” and straddling him and making out with him while giving him a particularly lewd lap-dance.

Much as it pisses me off to acknowledge it…I was hard by then. Seems I’m still very physically attracted to Chase, even though the rest of me wants nothing to do with him.

He was very insistent and asked again if I needed something, ‘cause he would do it for me just as soon as I said the word. Again, another perfectly polite statement to go with a perfectly filthy mental image, as I was soon treated to the fantasy of ordering Chase to do a variety of very sexual acts to me.

I’d say that’s about when Chase started catching on, ‘cause the stuff being transmitted to me started getting _more_ intimate. This, of course, made me _harder,_ and I excused myself to go to the bathroom.

That’s when I’m _sure_ Chase had caught on, ‘cause he followed me to the bathroom (thankfully not the stall I was trying to quietly get myself off in) and used an actual memory on me: an incident of sex that’d actually _happened_ between us instead of just a fantasy.

It was more real to me, I guess, because I came almost immediately. After that, Chase had the nerve to send me another sexual fantasy regarding an afterglow moment, and then I guess he went back to our table.

I was too busy cleaning myself up and taking _off_ the Tech MRC so it couldn’t be used against me anymore to really know or care what he did.

The rest of the date was…better. If Chase was thinking sexual things, I couldn’t hear or see them, so…that was easier.

Still, I ended up jerking off in a public restroom, for god’s sakes! Fuck _me,_ that was rough.

………In the off chance that Chase has decided to snoop and read my journal, NO, THAT WAS NOT MEANT LITERALLY, NOR WAS IT A SUGGESTION.

  



	318. 12/1/09

**12/1/09-**

As it turns out, Chase _did_ snoop and read my journal, and he wasn’t exactly pleased by the suggestion that I do not want him to fuck me.

He decided to get me back for it.

On the bright side, he used up one of the favors I owe him to do it (remainder of six).

On the less-than-bright side, I now have to sleep with him tonight.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: isn’t it expressly against Chase’s moral code to manipulate people into having sex with him against their will? That was what I was thinking, but that’s not it.

I don’t have to sleep with him _that_ way. According to the favor he asked of me, all I have to do is sleep in his bed for one night. No obligation to do anything but sleep, but I can’t weasel out of it, either.

Which, I admit, kind of upsets me. If Chase read my last journal entry, then, he knows I’m still physically attracted to him. He swore to me that I’d be under no obligation to do anything sexual, but…

We’re going to be in the same bed together. The same bed we’ve had sex in a hundred times before. Quite often, both Chase and I sleep in the nude. Tonight, at least _I_ won’t be doing that, but _he_ might.

What then? What if I’m……tempted by the…the memories and his still very much attractive body (which I loathe to admit I still find attractive, of course)?

And even _if_ that doesn’t happen and I’m not tempted, what if he actually tries something? He can’t force me into doing something; he won’t. He’s not a rapist and when he asked for this in the first place, he promised that sex was not part of this ‘sleeping with him’ thing.

But he never said he wouldn’t try to seduce me and coax me into it.

In that kind of environment…still being attracted to him (physically!)…I might actually……

No. No, I can’t. I can’t let myself get tricked into something like that.

My body might want Chase, but _I_ don’t.


	319. 12/2/09

**12/2/09-**

Alright. So. Last night went…okay.

Chase didn’t actually try anything. I wasn’t tempted. Nothing happened.

Admittedly, it was a little awkward (with good reason, I’d think) and it took awhile for me to get to sleep what with the hyperawareness that Chase was lying there on the other side of the bed, but it happened eventually.

This morning was embarrassing and unpleasant for me, though: we woke up snuggling.

I guess he was already up, which makes things even worse. I still haven’t broken the habit of gravitating towards him while I’m asleep. I’ll need to work on that.

And it was kinda weird what he said to me. I dunno if he was half-asleep or what, but he was speaking French and he asked me how ‘his little moonflower of love’ was; referring to me, I guess.

Weird.

But really, aside from that horribly mortifying moment of having to scramble away from him and leave ‘cause obligation fulfilled, _not_ staying there longer than I have to…

It was all pretty…legit.

What was the point of it? I mean, I guess it works to my advantage, ‘cause he wasted a favor on it, but why would Chase bother making me do that if he wasn’t gonna try anything?

Whatever. Six more favors, and I’m officially out of debt; then, Chase can’t make me do _anything_ anymore.


	320. 12/3/09

**12/3/09-**

I take back what I said about there probably not being a point to making me spend the night with Chase. There was a point. There had to be.

He _had_ to know that one night was enough to make me… _think_ about stuff.

It was a slow burn kind of thing, ‘cause I wasn’t really thinking at all yesterday, but _now,_ I can’t stop.

Goddammit. I _want_ him. And not…

Not just sexually, either.

I _wish_ it were just a sexual attraction, ‘cause then, this would be so much easier. I could look him right in the eye and tell him, “Hey, you’re a great fuck, but we’re no good for each other, so k thx bai!”

But we _are_ good for each other, damn it all. We, like, balance each other out, or something. I feel less directionless with him around. He helps me focus in some weird way. Without him, I’m…confused, like I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to be doing anymore.

Fuck. I want to be with him again, I really do. I know I won’t really be _with_ him. I get that. But maybe if I could just pretend…?

NO. I _can’t_ do this again, I _can’t!_ That was what I thought going into this whole thing. I thought, “Yeah, Chase doesn’t love me, but being his consort is close enough.”

This whole…incident has proved to me that it’s _not_ enough. I’m not happy torturing myself with a nonexistent hope for something more. It _hurts_ to want something you can never have and it hurts even more when it’s _proven_ that you’ll never have it.

I won’t go through that again. I don’t think I _can._ When I caught him with Pedrosa, I just about lost it. I paralyzed a man, permanently killed a woman’s sex life, destroyed a hell of a lot of property, and slept with an attractive guy I’ve only actually met with a couple of times. If I…went back to him and he did the same thing to me again, as he surely would, I might…

I might actually _break._

No, no, I can’t risk that. No matter _how_ much I want him, he’s just gonna hurt me again, and I honestly don’t think I could take that.

So, no. Nothing’s changed. I’m still not budging on this. I’m not gonna run crying back to Chase and beg him to take me back.

I can’t.


	321. 12/4/09

**12/4/09-**

I have no willpower whatsoever. I’m awful at…not wanting Chase.

I imagine that’d be all the years I spent _wanting_ him. It’s hard to break a habit like that.

Before, I’d said that it looked like what happened had killed my libido. That date at the kaiten restaurant with the failure that was the Tech MRC, however, revived it.

I woke up this morning _hurting_ hard from a dream about as wet as the Atlantic Ocean that involved a lot of…Chase-related fantasies.

I _should’ve_ ignored it, no matter how bad the blue balls would’ve killed me. I _should’ve_ tried to think of pussy or boobs or something to turn myself off. I should’ve done _anything_ but what I did.

I masturbated to thoughts of him. _Him. Chase._ I…I remembered stuff I’ve done with him, thought about stuff I’d _like_ to do with him, and I came like a filthy slut.

I’m sure I’ve been more ashamed of myself, but I honestly can’t remember such a time.

And if that weren’t bad enough, Dashi decided to pay me a visit almost immediately afterward.

Yeah, he just popped right in and opened with, “So, you’ll whack off to thoughts of him, but you won’t forgive him or let him court you?”

Naturally, I hid under the covers and demanded to know what the fuck he was doing there.

Our conversation was a long one I’d rather not think about, but…I guess some part of me doesn’t want to forget about it, so I’m going to transcribe it here before even _my_ memory fails to recall it.

Dashi: I’m trying to talk you out of your stupidity before you kill my li'l bro, but maybe I don't have to work that hard at convincing you - not going by the size of _that_ thing or how hard you were workin' it!

Me:Could we not talk about this? My ego has already shrivelled up to the size of a peach pit and is hiding beneath a jumbo-sized umbrella of shame, as it is.

Dashi: Oh, don't take it so har--bad. Would it interest you to know that Chase does the same thing? Every night, before going to bed, he has to take care of it - like, maybe three times, _minimum_ \- before he can get to sleep. All to thoughts of you.

Me: Don't tell me that! I totally don't need to know that!

Dashi: The boy's calluses have calluses. Nothing but this straining need and him groaning/growling your name and then _screaming_ it on the finale....! I swear, if I wasn't dead, a monk, _and_ his brother, I could hit that.

Me: Well, that just proves it: you're a pervert. You've been watching your own brother and his lo-...... _ex_ -lover whack off.

Dashi: *completely ignores me* Then again, it'd be a wasted effort. All he's focused on is you. You're the one he wants; he won't even accept substitutes anymore. I told him: "Chase, old boy, you gotta get laid or you're going to pop a brain valve. Go to a bar or something, hit up a pretty young thing, get your rocks off." He told me to go do something unnatural with a goat. Methinks it is not _this_ brother that is the pervert, thank thee very much.

Me: I'm wondering if it would be a complete asshole move to bring up your uncle, Minzhe and that day he took you to go "play with the goats."

Dashi: Hey, I'm counting my blessings, here! Chase could've told me to go do something with a horse's ass, and then I'd have no choice but to come in here and molest _you._

Me: Oh, I'd like to see you try it! Even if you _weren’t_ a ghost, Chase would be in here so fast-- *realizes what I just said, clams up*

Dashi: Ah ha! *points at me* Finally, we're trackin' on the same page. So, let's see if we have more thoughts in common. You're fapping to thoughts of Chase, he's fapping to thoughts of you - and, honestly, I'm wondering _when_ he found time to make an exact replica of your penis to use as a sex toy on himself. So, mutual fapping, he cares only about you and wants only you. And you care about?

Me: I......I care about you shutting up and leaving me alone, 'cause seriously, dude? I'm _naked._ This is an awkward situation for me and the last thing I need is you badgering me about my love life!

Dashi: Oh, well, if it's the fact that you're naked and I'm not.... *instantly vanishes ghostly clothes* Ta Da! Hey, look! I have a penis, too!

Me: AUGH! *covers eyes, pauses, uncovers them* ......Jeez, that thing's _tiny_. Are you really his brother?

Dashi: _True_ monks' penises tend to shrivel over time with honest dedication to being a monk. For instance, look at Guan. Big, strong... rippling with muscle and power. He's practically a eunuch.

Me: And you're okay with the fact that you've got a little dick? In comparison to your _younger_ brother? If that were me, I'd be crying for my manhood.

Dashi: *returns his clothes* But you're not me. _You_ are an earthy and earthly young male who has known and reveled in sex constantly for the past nine months. Sex. With Chase. There's even a library of visual evidence - although, if he watches that one particular disc too many more times, he's gonna warp it... and I don't think there are back-up copies made.

Me: I hope it _does_ warp. Then he'll _have_ to stop perving on stuff we made when I actually _liked_ him.

Dashi: Or he'll want to make _more_.

Me: Then he'll have to rape me and we both know that's not gonna happen.

Dashi: Puh- _lease._ We both know he can seduce you if he wants to. But, see, there's this little thing called "respect." He actually respects you, likes you, loves you. He's not going to do that to you if you really don't want it. And, if you'll notice, now that he _knows_ you have an aversion to him fucking anyone else, he is making a sincere effort to not go near anyone else. For _you._

Me: Sure he is, 'cause he's trying to get me to fuck him again. If I do, he'll just start all over again, only this time, he'll keep the other people a secret.

Dashi: ......You really think that little of him? You really think that after 1500 years of being an honorable villain, he'll toss it all just to fuck with your _head_ instead of your ass?

Me: Is it really that crazy to think he'll hurt me the same way he's hurt me before? On many different occasions, I might add?

Dashi: May I point out that _you_ let him think that you were _okay_ with knowing that he would screw other people? You asked him to not let you see him doing it. He did as you asked - until _you_ snooped on him with his own magical device. Not _once_ did you tell him "I don't want you to have sex with anyone else" and try to enforce that. You let him do what he wanted, he did it, and then got blindsided with your freak-out reaction.

Me: What the hell do you want me to say?! I'm human; I make mistakes! I thought I _was_ okay with it, and when I realized I wasn't, I _quit._. Peacefully and quietly, for the record! _He’s_ the one who triggered the freak-out _after_ the fact!

Dashi: You're blaming _him_ for the fact that _you_ had a problem with him being himself?

Me: I'm blaming _him_ for being a total dickwad and having the nerve to insult _me_ the first time I ever try to assert my own wants and needs! Everything between us was all about _him_ , and I didn't have any problem with that until I realized how bad it hurts to live a giant fucking _lie_. Then I try to leave because _I’m_ unhappy and _I'm_ apparently an idiot. No. Thank you.

Dashi: Of course he's going to insult you for being stupid, Stupid. Besides which, you're the chosen of an overlord. He's more powerful than you. You _accepted_ him as your overlord, so you don't get to tell him what you're going to do; other way around.

Jack: So I should be unhappy for the rest of my life living with and fucking a guy who'll never love me back because he can't. Sounds great.

And unfortunately, that’s when Chase showed up. Normally, I’d have been glad that he came to shoo his brother away from me, but…

He heard me. He heard what I said and goddamn it if he didn’t look _hurt._

He left without saying a word and Dashi followed after him once he told me I had emotional torture down to a science.

If I really _did_ hurt Chase, I should be happy. He’s hurt me plenty; he deserves a little payback.

But I’m _not_ happy.

I feel…guilty? Maybe? I dunno. Awful, in any case.

God, this sucks.


	322. 12/5/09

**12/5/09-**

I still feel like crap. Worse, actually.

I…I _don’t_ want to hurt Chase. He hurt _me,_ yeah. _Badly,_ too. But _I_ don’t want to hurt _him_ back.

Sure, I messed with his stuff and the people he fucked around on me with, but that didn’t _hurt_ him. Not like…

Fuck. Just…fuck.

 _I’m_ the one who got screwed around on! Why am _I_ feeling bad?! This isn’t _fair._

I hate this. I really, really, really hate this.

Wonderful. I’m crying, again.


	323. 12/6/09

**12/6/09-**

I kind of hate myself.

I couldn’t take the…whatever I was feeling anymore. I did something stupid that I just know I’m gonna hate myself even _more_ for, later.

I sent my Chameleonbot out disguised as an ordinary person. So it could buy flowers.

I didn’t want to…humiliate myself and actually say something. I feel awful enough as it is, without having to debase myself in front of him like that.

So, knowing that he knows about flower meanings, I figured I could do it this way and save some face.

I got him purple hyacinths, which mean regret or asking for forgiveness. I didn’t hand them off to him personally, but I know that they’ll get to him.

I feel a little better, but still pretty crappy.

I don’t _want_ to want to apologize. I don’t _want_ to feel bad about maybe hurting him.

God, why can’t I just _hate_ him?


	324. 12/7/09

**12/7/09-**

Today was…less than pleasant.

Chase confronted me today. Thankfully, the flowers were not brought up. I’m not sure I would’ve been able to handle that level of mortification.

What was discussed _instead,_ though…it almost makes me wish he teased me copiously about giving him the hyacinths.

He asked another favor of me. Five left.

The favor he asked…was to answer a question with complete honesty. That question was, “Do you still want me?”

I could’ve lied. I _should’ve_ lied. But then, there’s the matter of my honor and the fact that I _promised_ him these stupid favors…

I told the truth.

Yes. Yes, I do still want him. I want him very, very much, no matter how much I wish I didn’t.

He questioned me further, asking if it was just a physical thing, just lust or…something…more than that.

This was another situation where I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I’d already answered the question he asked me using the favor. I was under no obligation to give him anything more than that. I told him so, and he…

He looked at me and said he wasn’t asking as an overlord: he was asking as a man who needed to know there was reason not to lose hope.

I _really_ shouldn’t have said anything. If I’d let him ‘lose hope,’ he’d give up on me. He’d stop trying to seduce me back to him, and it would hurt, but it would be for the best. He’d never hurt me again and I could move on, live a normal life somewhere under a fake name or something…

But I couldn’t shut myself up and my legs wouldn’t work when I tried to make myself just walk away.

I admitted that it wasn’t just a physical attraction.

Thankfully, after that, my legs decided to work again and I high-tailed it out of there, but…

Fuck, why did I have to say that? Why did I have to…

Dammit, I’m _stupid…_


	325. 12/8/09

**12/8/09-**

So, basically, I’ve been stewing in my own stupidity all day.

I doubt I’ve even grasped the full extent of it, yet, but Jesus _Christ,_ why did I say that? I should’ve kept it to myself. I should’ve lied to _myself_ , at least, so that when Chase asked me that, I could’ve lied and _thought_ I was telling the truth.

Or something like that. Really, anything but admitting I still wanted Chase beyond the physical would’ve been good.

Shit. It’s late. I should at least make an attempt to go to bed, even if I don’t think I’ll be getting much sleep tonight.


	326. 12/9/09

**12/8/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****It’s around 4:30 AM, so I probably should’ve started a new entry for this, but I have more important things to worry about right now.

Namely that my head exploded…again.

The stress of this whole…thing…with Chase, and then all the nights I’ve been going sleepless (including this one)…

Well, I paid the price for it after I dozed off for all of ten minutes, woke up, and _BOOM._

I’m definitely not getting back to sleep, now. If I try, I’ll no doubt have nightmares relating to the sensation of having my head blown clean off by a Roman candle planted somewhere in my frontal lobe.

Fuck. I’m more than a little upset that my first instinct was to run across the hall so Chase could calm me down, but…

Fuck. Just…fuck. ****

**12/9/09-**

I cannot catch a break, lately. I don’t know just _when_ I got so dumb, but my genius intellect has completely failed me, these days, or at least it _feels_ like it has.

Because today, I kissed Chase.

I honestly can’t believe myself. I don’t know what I was thinking. That’s probably it, though: I wasn’t.

Chase decided another date was in order; four favors left, by the way.

One of our shared favorite musical groups, the Twelve Girls Band, performed for us. Us, specifically, in that it was a private concert, with only Chase and I as the audience.

I don’t know or care how much money he paid them in order to do this _or_ how much of his own influence he used to coerce them. It doesn’t matter, ‘cause he’s Chase Young and he can just _do_ these kinds of things.

They were excellent, of course. Their recordings are great, but hearing them perform live is just twenty times more awesome. They’re all wonderful musicians and it’s an amazing experience to be able to hear them play.

Even so, I paid for my lack of sleep last night and ended up dozing off just as they started playing _Forbidden City._ I meant no disrespect to them as musicians, of course. I was just too tired to stay awake, and a good part of that particular song is quite soothing.

I didn’t stay asleep too long, though. I woke up right about when they started the next song, _Butterfly._

When I’d conked out, I’d ended up falling onto Chase a little. I woke up leaning on his side, with his arm around my waist.

Instead of doing the sensible thing, pulling away and pretending it’d never happened, I…

Dammit. I was still half-asleep, I guess. I forgot that I wasn’t supposed to want Chase, or at least _act_ like I don’t.

One of my favorite songs was playing, I was tired, his body heat was nice and cozy, and he was holding me _so_ warmly…

I just reached up and kissed him, just like that!

It didn’t last long and there was absolutely no tongue or anything else of an intimate nature, but…

Fuck, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have kissed him.

Naturally, I was more than embarrassed when I realized and essentially fled. I seem to be doing that a lot lately: running away from Chase.

Oddly enough, he didn’t come after me and Dashi hasn’t been by to make fun of/berate me for doing what I did. Little blessings like that keep me from wanting to kill myself in complete mortification.

Damn it all. How am I supposed to convince Chase to stop trying to make…us…happen if I can’t even make myself stop doing stupid shit like this?


	327. 12/10/09

**12/10/09-**

Oh, fuck, this is _so_ not easy on me. _He_ won’t let it be.

Today’s been a mostly normal day. I was…relieved for awhile, ‘cause it seemed like I might actually be in the clear for yesterday.

And then, I found the box on my pillow.

There was no wrapping normally indicative of a present, just a long, thin leather box. There weren’t any tags on it, but who else could it be from?

The box, as I found out upon opening it, was lined with white velvet and inside was…

A necklace. A beautiful hematite necklace studded with rubies and diamonds: my color scheme.

I almost wish it had been some fruity, girly necklace so I could scoff at it and let it be over, but it’s obviously a man’s necklace. The chain is in a flat link style, which is already more masculine than some delicate and expensive thread-thin thing that would break the second you try to tug it out of its protective foam.

The gemstones, too, aren’t treated the same way as they would be in a woman’s necklace; that is, as the entire focus of the jewelry. They’re not hidden away, of course. Nobody would be stupid enough to try and _hide_ real diamonds and rubies (and they have to be real, Chase wouldn’t have bothered if they were fake). They’re there: one of either in the middle of each link of the chain, and they accentuate the necklace, but they don’t…overwhelm it, either.

It’s definitely the kind of thing I would wear. Beautiful, tasteful, _cool…_

It’s a thoughtful gift, and maybe that’s why it pisses me off so much.

I don’t _want_ him to give me gifts! I don’t _want_ something to happen between us! I don’t want… _this!_

I love the necklace, honestly. I want to put it on and never take it off, ‘cause it looks durable enough to be an ‘all the time’ jewelry instead of ‘just a special occasion’ thing.

But I can’t do that.

If I wear it, it’ll look like I accepted the gift. If Chase sees me wearing it, he’ll get the wrong idea (and that’s already happened enough lately for my liking, thank you very much). If I take this necklace, I’ll just be setting myself up for more seduction, but _worse,_ ‘cause I’ll be giving Chase results and he’ll try even _harder_ to make me be his consort again.

By all accounts, I should just throw the stupid thing in the trash, preferably somewhere he’ll find it. Then, he’d stop trying for sure.

But of course, I find myself completely unable to do this most sensible of acts.

Every time I reach for it with the goal of throwing it away in mind, my hand just stops and won’t pick it up; like my own body doesn’t want me to do it. I’ve tried to have a bot do it for me, but then it’s my voice that catches in my throat and won’t let me complete the order.

So, here I am, staring at this necklace and trying to figure out what to do with it if I can’t bring myself to get rid of it and wearing it is the dumbest thing I could possibly do.

Since I can’t throw it away, I guess the next best thing would be to just chuck it in my closet, but…dammit, I don’t want to do that, either. I don’t want to treat it like ordinary junk. It’s not.

…I’ll put it in the bedside table drawer. I know it’s safe there, and I don’t have to look at it, which is good…

And then, maybe, if I ever… If _this_ whole thing ever dies down and I can think about Chase without hurting, I can maybe wear it sometime…


	328. 12/11/09

**12/11/09-**

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I don’t know…

Ugh, focus, Jack, _FOCUS!_

I’m rattled. Needless to say, but understandably so considering I’ve just been shot at.

Sure, I’ve taken a bullet before, to the head, no less. But I was expecting it. I was ready for it. And it was only one bullet.

I can’t really say I’ve had what had to be hundreds emptied out in my general vicinity with little to no warning until today.

Guess I should start at the beginning.

Chase asked me out on another date (three favors); took me all the way to Italy for a shopping spree. Milan is surprisingly nice this time of year, but that’s not the point.

We had lunch, he bought me some stuff, and then we just walked around for a little while enjoying the sights. I was trying not to think about the fact that we were holding hands and that I was liking it more than I should’ve.

And that’s when the car pulled up.

I was barely aware that anything was happening until people started screaming and dropping to the ground, and then the actual _gunfire…_ I’m still a little hard of hearing right now.

Of course, the rest of me is perfectly fine. Not a single bullet grazed me; none of them even got anywhere _near_ me.

Because Chase…

He protected me.

Before I even fully comprehended that there was a drive-by going on, I was pressed up against a stone storefront with Chase’s body as a shield. He’s impervious to bullets, I guess, ‘cause they hit him and fell to the ground like they’d hit a wall of solid diamond. I know: I briefly caught a glimpse of them squished and flattened on the sidewalk before Chase ‘ported us home.

I was…probably still am…in shock.

He…he took _bullets_ for me. _BULLETS._

When I thoughtlessly blurted this out, he shrugged it off, saying bullets couldn’t hurt him.

They sure as hell could’ve hurt _me,_ though, another thing that seemed to come tumbling out of my mouth without my consent.

He looked me in the eye and said, “Never.” He would never let me get…

Goddammit. Why does he have to be so… He’s making me…

 _Dammit._


	329. 12/12/09

**12/12/09-**

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate what Chase does to me? How he makes me feel about him, even though I’m trying to end things?

I went to see him last night.

I don’t know _what_ I thought would happen; what I would do when I got there. I didn’t think that far ahead. I just…felt like I needed to see him after what happened.

He was asleep when I snuck into his room and he stayed that way, because I didn’t bother him, after all.

Chase lied about being completely impervious to bullets. They can’t pierce his skin, but they can sure as hell strike him hard enough to leave a mark. When I walked into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, and with the light coming in from the hallway, I could see why.

He had at least twenty bullet-sized bruises on his back, all of them that ugly purple/red/black that only really _painful_ injuries get. He was hurt. He was in _pain._

Because he didn’t want _me_ to get hurt.

I felt even worse than when I hurt him a week ago, which is something else I’ve noticed: I seem to hurt Chase a lot, lately.

I went back to my room to let Chase sleep. I didn’t want to bother him, especially since it was _my_ fault that he…

Well, anyways, I couldn’t get to sleep.

So, sometime around 3:00 AM, I found myself wandering to the kitchen, and…

I made him some cupcakes; the brandy butter cream kind he likes. It’s a poor substitute for a non-bruised back, I know, and an even _worse_ one for an apology, but I…

I dunno. It’s what I did, in any case.

I snuck into his room again and left them on the bedside table for him to find this morning. I can only assume he got them, though, since I haven’t seen him all day. Who knows where the hell he is and how pissed off at me he must be.

I’ve been staring at the necklace, again. I want to wear it, I really do.

But I still can’t. I’m not…I’m not ready to wear it and I’m not sure I’ll ever be. Even so, I can’t help opening my drawer every hour or so just to look at it.

How can he still do this to me…?


	330. 12/13/09

**12/13/09-**

So…I killed Pedrosa today.

Chase woke me up early this morning and made me get dressed in a hurry. He hardly said two words to me, and his face…

It was completely blank. I couldn’t tell anything about what he was feeling until I looked into his eyes, and _then,_ I got nervous.

He was _furious._ Angrier than I’ve ever seen him, actually. I’ve only seen him the ‘breaking things, injuring people, and venting rage’ type of angry. Before today, I’d never really seen him the ‘cold, calm before the storm, I’m plotting a million and eight ways to torture you and your family for centuries’ kind of angry.

For awhile, I thought that anger was directed at me, so hell yeah, I kept my mouth shut and did what he told me to do.

Then, he dragged me down to some dungeon-looking room in the palace and I quickly found out who he was _really_ angry at.

Raimundo Pedrosa was lying there on the floor, paralyzed just like I left him, and with tables of various instruments of torture around him.

Chase coolly explained the reason for these objects as well as Pedrosa’s presence in the palace.

 _He_ was the one who organized that drive-by. The guys who did it, a couple of his distant cousins, were hired to find and kill us. He had wanted to do it himself, but being unable to move put a damper on that, so he did the next best thing and put a hit on Chase and I.

They were given the Golden Tiger Claws (the originals, not either of the technological versions I made) and were told to kill us at all costs.

The cousins are dead. Chase saw to that yesterday, but he said he was saving Rai for me.

I was…confused. I didn’t… _still_ don’t understand why he would allow me that opportunity. Wasn’t Pedrosa his lover? He was useless for sex, now, sure; I’d seen to that, but why would he let me kill him?

I didn’t ask any of that, though. I know better than to pass up a chance like that. Chase said I could do whatever I wanted to him, and I wasn’t about to look a gift-horse in the mouth.

I had two options from the start: I could let Chase be the one to get his hands dirty and tell him what I wanted done, or I could do it myself.

I decided to do a little bit of both.

I started out using Chase as my torture device. First thing I asked him to do was take out Pedrosa’s other eye. I wanted that fucker to be blindsided throughout everything I was about to do, just like I was when I found out what he’d done with _my…_ with Chase. I thought it fitting that Chase be the one to remove the eye considering that he took out the first one, so why not make it a pair?

I’m glad I paralyzed him by damaging his motor nerves and not his sensory ones. That way, he was still able to feel everything; he just couldn’t move.

After the eye…well, let’s see. I had Chase: slowly break all of his fingers and toes, slice off bits of him (earlobe, nostril, a piece of his lip…), use his claws to scratch up his face (he’d have been horribly disfigured had he lived), and then, as the finale, I had his dick ripped off and stuffed up his ass.

Call me sadistic, but it was the best catharsis I could’ve asked for to be able to watch that.

No…maybe not the _best._ The _best_ catharsis was when I stepped in directly after that.

He was gonna die of bloodloss, at that point. There was already, guaranteed, no saving him and I could’ve easily just watched him die in excruciating pain.

But I wasn’t content with that.

I decided to pummel the fuck out of his dying body so that even in his last moments, he would know no peace from me. I hated him. I _hate_ him. I don’t care that he’s dead, now, I’ll probably hate him forever.

He _took_ from me.

I must’ve started seeing some serious red at one point during the proceedings, because there’s a slight gap in my memory. One second, I was kicking the shit out of the barely-alive-and-not-for-much-longer Pedrosa, and the next, I was kicking in Chase’s grip with my feet off the ground and being told to calm down, he was already dead.

I did calm down, then. I breathed deep and relaxed, letting Chase hold me up while I just _looked._

I’d done some damage in the space of time I can’t remember. Pretty much all his teeth were knocked out of his head and I couldn’t find a space on his body where the bones _didn’t_ look crunched in at least one place.

And I was happy.

Pedrosa is… _was_ an arrogant, self-important prick. He made my life a living hell along with his Xiaolin buddies, and speaking of which, I imagine _he’s_ the biggest reason they turned out to be so bad at being good. Omi, Clay…even Kimiko had honest shots at being _real_ good guys, but with _him_ as their leader…

Well. We’ve all seen how they turned out.

After I caught my breath, I remember Chase asking me if I thought I could stand. I also remember thinking that was a stupid question until I realized I’d used up all my energy a few minutes prior and now that the adrenaline was gone, I couldn’t really do much more than hang there in Chase’s grip.

So, no, I said, I couldn’t stand.

Chase carried me back to my room. He sat me down on my bed. He cleaned the wounds on my knuckles from where I’d tried a little too hard to punch Pedrosa’s teeth out and the skin had split. Then, he went to leave.

I stopped him. I had to.

If he’d left, I couldn’t have thanked him for letting today happen. I’d needed it; probably more than I’d thought I did.

Having it…I feel better.

He accepted my gratitude, kissed me, and left. I should be pissed about that, or at least mildly irritated, but I’m not. He earned a kiss, at least; I won’t begrudge him that.

As for me…I’m tired. Bed sounds like a more than excellent idea.


	331. 12/14/09

**12/14/09-**

I was pretty out of it last night, but I have vague memories of Chase sneaking in to cuddle with me and waking up to discover this when Dashi was bitching at him for something too loud. I don’t know or care what it was and Dashi poofed away right after, so I didn’t bother to find out.

I was feeling grateful, still, so I let the cuddling happen. I was too exhausted to protest even had I chosen to, but that doesn’t change the point.

I did make an effort to make sure there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings between us. I was thankful for what he let me have and I wouldn’t try to kick him out of my bed this one time, but I wasn’t his consort again. Nothing changed.

He essentially ignored me and told me I should go back to sleep, which I found a capital idea and did so.

Chase was gone when I woke up and today is one of those days where I haven’t seen him very much at all.

Spent more time looking at the necklace. I still don’t know why I keep looking. I’ve seen it plenty; I know what it looks like by heart, now. I could draw a picture of it with my eyes closed and it would be accurate.

And yet, I continue to stare at it like it’s going to turn into a genie and offer me three wishes or something else as fantastical.

I don’t get myself sometimes. Now is one of those times.


	332. 12/15/09

**12/15/09-**

Today has been…uncomfortable for me, to say the least.

Chase came to me today asking _me_ for help.

Seems the bruises on his back were slow to heal. They were still there and still painful even with his accelerated healing. If I had to guess why, I’d say it was because he was fired upon at near point-blank range; that would be enough to send a bullet rocketing _through_ any normal person, so I imagine the bruises go pretty deep.

Fuck, there’s that guilt, again.

Anyway, he asked me to help him. He had an ointment that would speed up the natural healing process, but it was hard to apply it himself considering the location of the bruises and the fact that trying to reach the bruises was painful _because_ of them.

So, he asked me if I would do it for him.

I couldn’t say no. Well, I could’ve, but then, I’d be just about the biggest asshole in the universe considering it was _me_ he got those bruises for and I’d _feel_ like said biggest asshole ever, and I don’t want that.

I agreed to do it, and that’s where the discomfort started.

For one, shirtless Chase. All that warm, slick skin under my hands, even bruised, was… _difficult_ to handle.

Two, the _noises_ he was making. There was pain there, yeah, but it sounded like there was a lot more pleasure; like he wasn’t really thinking about how much my hands were hurting his bruises, but rather how they were _helping._

Three, I could _not_ be aroused. That’s not to say I wasn’t affected by the prior two factors like some sort of eunuch. I was very much affected, in fact, but getting turned on was not an option for me, because in order to apply the ointment, I had to straddle Chase’s hips. If I got hard, he’d have known in a second.

As it is, I managed to get out of the whole affair with only a semi that Chase thankfully didn’t comment on and I feel…better having done something to help him. I’ll count it as a win.

I don’t know anymore. About Chase, I mean. Everything’s…confusing right now and I don’t…

Fuck, if I can’t make sense of the thoughts in my head, how am I supposed to write them down on paper?

I guess it doesn’t really matter, anyways.

………And now, it belatedly comes to me that Chase could’ve easily gotten a warrior to apply that ointment for him and it, under no circumstances, _had_ to be me.

That sneaky bastard, I should…

UGH. _Why_ can’t I be mad at him?!


	333. 12/16/09

**12/16/09-**

So, today, I jumped into a volcano.

The day started out normally enough. Normal breakfast, normal tinkering around in the lab, normal lunch…

And that’s when Chase invoked another of his favors (two left) to make me go on another outing with him.

The next thing I know, I’m sweating bullets standing on a ledge above murderously hot magma.

Yes, of course, I balked, even more so when Chase told me we’d be going _in_ said murderously hot magma. I enjoy life and the continued having of it, and I’d rather that not end just yet.

I wanted to go back on our deal. Honestly, I was _scared_ and my life was (I would say rightfully) more important than my honor, so I wanted _out._

Of course, Chase somehow managed to talk me down. It was probably his eyes; it’s _always_ his eyes.

This time, they were glowing. From the glow of the magma, sure, and from just its presence. Fire is Chase’s element: it has a way of making him look even _more_ beautiful.

I gave in pretty easy, actually. Really, he just looked at me with his gorgeous, gold eyes and asked me to trust him. I turned away, not wanting…not wanting to let him draw me in so effortlessly, but he _forced_ me to look.

Chase…he reminded me that the marks on his back right now are proof of the fact that he wants no harm to come to me. He told me to _trust_ him: he wouldn’t let me burn.

So…I did. I trusted him and we jumped into a goddamn volcano.

By the fact that I’m here writing this, it’s obvious that he _didn’t_ let me burn.

I…can see why he didn’t try to coax me into doing it beforehand. He would’ve had to have been able to _describe_ the experience to me in order to get me to agree to it, and I just don’t see how that’s possible.

I’ll try my best, anyway, for whatever posterity that may read this journal.

The heat is impossible to ignore. It’s…consuming, powerful in a way that’s honestly a little frightening on its own. I don’t know how Chase managed to keep my body from being destroyed in a split second like the magma obviously wanted to happen. It was beyond the point where something is so hot, it’s cold. I don’t know _what_ it became at that level of hot, but I knew it was _hot._

Then, there’s the light. It’s completely blinding. I couldn’t see _anything,_ and I had to rely on my sense of touch to even be aware of my surroundings, but that’s just it: the heat blocked out my sense of touch.

So, I guess there’s a kind of disconnectedness in that, too, with your senses cut off by the power of the volcano. In that one moment, there’s…nothing. Nothing but you and the volcano that for whatever reason is not giving you a painful, split-second death by lava.

Overall, the experience was…frightening. Empowering. Terrible. Amazing. I don’t know. I think I’ve hit my limit of explanation, here. There’s no real way to describe something like this, you have to experience it.

I’m…glad Chase shared it with me.


	334. 12/17/09

**12/17/09-**

Boy, do I have a lot to talk about.

This morning, I was informed that I was going out on another date (one last favor) and to be ready by evening.

It hit me when I was getting dressed that I…really don’t mind these outings anymore. I probably would’ve gone on this one even if Chase _hadn’t_ used a favor. I’m not sure what I feel about that, yet.

I figured it would be another dinner date, as they usually happen around evening and I picked my outfit accordingly. I decided against a suit and went with some slightly more casual attire: comfortable black slacks and shoes and a silk shirt somewhere in between black and grey.

What can I say? I don’t like colors all that much.

Then, I…

I can’t believe I even did it.

I took the necklace out of its box. Knowing full-well what it would mean to wear it on an outing with Chase, I took the necklace and put it on.

It looked good on me. It fit nicely draped on my collarbone, like it belonged there.

I didn’t _leave_ it on, though. It was beautiful and it felt…good to wear it, but at the same time, it’s like…

God, this is gonna sound stupid.

At the same time, that little hematite necklace felt like it had all the weight of a collar; a collar I’m not sure I want; a collar I’m not sure I can handle.

I took it off again and put it back in the box in the drawer, and I went to go meet Chase.

I’m glad I decided to dress comfortably, because Chase proceeded to take me dancing.

I was…reluctant to go out on the dance floor, at first. It wasn’t the stiff, old-timey, impersonal kind of dancing, which would’ve been…easier, at the least.

No, this was the kind of dancing where you have to get _close_ and express yourself to music with movement. Which was much harder on me.

I honestly don’t know how I ended up on the dance floor. Chase really does have a silver tongue in his mouth. Either way, it was too late to back out, by then, and…

We danced.

It’s…almost crazy how much…emotion can be conveyed through just dancing.

I could tell right off the bat, just by the way Chase moved with me that he wanted me badly. I’m sure he could tell from the way _I_ was moving with _him_ that I wanted him just as much.

I wasn’t giving it my all, though. I was…holding back. What…happened…it still hurt me. That wound is still there, and I’m not sure it’s scarred over, yet.

Then, Chase’s movements changed a little, like he was trying to wrap himself around me; protect me and keep me safe. I felt like…he was _sorry._ For hurting me.

I was…still am scared. I want him back, I want him to take me back, I really do, but there’s still that very real possibility that he’ll hurt me again. If that happens, I…I don’t think I could take it.

Not from Chase.

I could feel exactly how bad he wanted me; maybe even…needed me. Almost like he couldn’t go on without me, would do anything to make me his again…

This is killing me. I love him. I can admit that, now. I still love him. But I can't...I don't...

I pulled away from him and left the dance floor, at that point.

I felt…vulnerable. Open. Weak. It scared me. I was a prime target to get hurt again: if I’d stayed to let Chase push me a little more, I might’ve…

I don’t know. I wasn’t ready for it. I couldn’t stay, I couldn’t keep dancing.

I holed up in the bathroom for awhile and tried to compose myself. I splashed a little water on my face, counted the tiles on the floor, the walls, the ceiling, went through a list in my head of the parts involved to make up the automatic hand-dryer, _anything_ to distract myself.

When I finally felt I had myself under control and left, I found the dance floor littered with bits and pieces of people and painted with a thick coating of blood.

I didn’t see Chase, but Dashi was there, so I asked him what’d happened.

He told me that Chase had been so frustrated for want of me and lack of having me that he snapped and killed half of the people there.

We got to talking, the two of us. Mostly about his brother and what it is I want from him.

Specifically…he asked me if I wanted Chase to love me and I didn’t know how to respond without sounding like I was on drugs.

I do want him to love me. I _did…_ I don’t _know!_ I thought I knew, but then, I didn’t, and now I _don’t._

Thankfully, I didn’t have to answer anymore questions because Chase came back to take me home. He seemed just about as irritated with Dashi as I was, by that point.

My tongue is getting far too loose around Chase. I said something I shouldn’t have, again.

I told Dashi that he didn’t understand where I was coming from. I said that if he were in love with someone as complicated as Chase, he’d be confused, too.

Mercifully, I didn’t use Chase’s name in the sentence, nor did I say the word ‘love;’ instead, I said ‘him’ and left a long pause, respectively.

But, of course, Chase is not an idiot and was almost certainly able to determine my meaning.

Chase took me home and being alone with him, I started feeling…open and vulnerable again. Naturally, I wasn’t liking that, so I tried to go to my room. The more walls between Chase and I when that feeling hits me, the better.

But then, he followed me.

He said he wanted a kiss goodnight. Of all the ridiculous, juvenile…

I told him not to push his luck, but he wouldn’t _leave._ I tried to slam the door in his face. Really, I did.

And I managed it, eventually. The only problem was that that ‘eventually’ only happened _after_ I kissed him. On the mouth. With tongue.

I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t know what I _want_ anymore.

I hate this.


	335. 12/18/09

**12/18/09-**

I’ve been thinking a lot, today. Mostly about… _this_ whole thing.

I want him. I love him. He wants me. He doesn’t love me, but for awhile there, I thought that maybe he could learn to…

If this were a normal situation, we would already be together…or rather, ‘together,’ again. I’d respond to his advances and he would make me his consort and things would go back to whatever passes for normal around here.

But it’s not a normal situation.

He _cheated_ on me…or, he would’ve if there was anything to cheat _on,_ I guess, but it had the same impact as if it were the first one. I think…I still would’ve left if it’d just been some random stranger, but that it was _Pedrosa…_

 _That_ hurt. If Chase wasn’t acutely aware of our relationship with one another, he sure as hell is, now. He tortured Rai by my suggestions and then he had to yank me off of his corpse ‘cause I was in too blind of a rage at him, even as he was _dying_ to stop attempting to hurt him.

If that’s not hate, I don’t know what hate is.

So, let’s just say that Chase wronged me. Whether the act itself was wrong by the standards of an overlord (not), it affected me as if it were wrong.

But I still want him. He still wants me. Even after being wronged, I can’t deny that we still… _have_ something.

I want things to go back to normal. I do. But, there’s something in the way of that happening.

I would have to forgive Chase to even start on that road of normalcy.

I…I’m not sure I’m ready to do that. I’m not sure I’ll _ever_ be ready.

I left myself open and vulnerable around him from the beginning because I loved him and trusted him. Every insult he dealt me, every injury, they always hurt, but it never put a damper on the love and trust. Then, we got together…or again, whatever passes as ‘together’ with Chase, and things were better, ‘cause he didn’t hurt me as much, anymore. I was happy.

And then…this.

In retrospect, I should’ve prepared myself for that kind of hurt. I shouldn’t have stayed open. I should’ve tried to guard myself against it, put up walls to keep anyone from getting close enough _to_ hurt me. It would’ve been too late, though.

Chase was always too close.

So, I got hurt, and the love…well, the love is still there. The trust, though…I don’t know. I’d say it was completely broken, but if that were true, I probably wouldn’t have jumped into a volcano with him. So…the trust is cracked. Probably pretty badly if I still can’t forgive him.

I don’t know, anymore. Anything. I don’t know.

I hate not knowing…


	336. 12/19/09

**12/19/09-**

Chase used his last favor tonight.

It was another dinner date, this time at the Space Needle in Seattle. The some-600-foot-tall tower tourist attraction with the rotating restaurant.

He told me he was invoking his last favor to take me there and to be ready by around 7:30. I got ready, found him, and he escorted me there.

I was wearing the necklace.

It was quiet for a good part of the dinner. The most words that were spoken were telling the waiter our orders, actually. I was…trying to avoid eye-contact with Chase. That weak vulnerability was back.

I was wearing his necklace. I’d accepted it. I hadn’t accepted _him,_ but wearing his necklace, I might as well have.

I didn’t want to look at him. I didn’t want him to look at me. I was…scared…of what might happen; what he might say; what _I_ might say.

We got our food and ate it, and then, at one point, the waiter came back to ask us how we were doing.

I looked up and he caught my eye immediately. We…looked at each other for awhile, I guess. He was gorgeous, like always. He’s perfect. Flawless. So beautiful, I remember wondering briefly if it _hurt_ to be so handsome.

Our section of the restaurant had rotated into view of the moon and he was bathed in the light. He wore it like a king wears a cloak and it only made him more beautiful, like…like even the _moon_ was in love with him and was trying to highlight him for everybody else to see.

Like they wouldn’t have noticed him in the first glance, anyways.

Then, he spoke and told me he’d been thinking similar thoughts; about how beautiful _I_ look in the moonlight. He said he’d never seen me _more_ beautiful than that moment.

I think I was blushing, until he took it back.

He went on to say that he _had_ seen me more beautiful: the morning when he’d woken up to find me in his bed after that brain-death coma.

He said he was sure he was going to lose me; _had_ lost me. He was going to destroy the entire planet as payment for my loss, and then, I came back. I wasn’t broken or retarded and I’d come home to him, and it was beautiful.

Then, I blushed _harder._

He kept talking, about the day we first met. He asked me if I remembered what he said about why he’d decided to show up for this generation of Xiaolin monks.

I’d forgotten, honestly. That day…the day that I first met Chase…it seems like forever ago.

He reminded me. He had said he was there to investigate the monks, but he told me that that wasn’t the whole truth. He said he’d wanted to investigate _me,_ too.

It was my coloring that got his interest. No way I could be as pale as I am, my eyes had to be contact lenses, my hair was dyed…

He said it’d irritated him that it was all natural. I made him feel like a pervert, ‘cause he wanted to keep me around him…naked…. Just to look at me. He said it wasn’t sexual, since I was too young for that, but he knew how it would _look,_ and that’s what bothered him.

I’d have welcomed that wholly, back then, though. I was…jeez, what? Twelve, thirteen…I can’t remember anymore (time and age get a little confusing when you dick around with time travel so often), but I was smack-dab in the middle of puberty. My body was asking me for things it never had before and I was starting to look at people in a sexual way. At the time, the only people I’d had around _to_ look at were the monks. Much as I hate to admit it, I’d been eyeing Clay for awhile considering that even then, Pedrosa was a jerkoff.

Heh. I hadn’t come to terms with the fact that I was gay, yet. I tried to transfer the awkward feelings I was having for Bailey to Kimiko ‘cause she was a girl and that was what I was supposed to like, but it didn’t work out too well, so I stopped trying.

And then…Chase showed up: the pinnacle of masculine beauty, my idol for at least three or four years, and evil as the day is long.

I never looked at Clay again, after that.

Chase started talking about my eyes. How much he liked to look at them and the way they looked tonight. He said…that he wanted to kiss my eyes.

I managed to get my mouth to work long enough to accuse him of flattery, but he denied it; said he was just giving me stream-of-consciousness reporting on his thoughts.

That made me feel _worse._ Like I wanted…like I was going to… I don’t know. I said I wished he would stop.

Chase declared that fine, he’d go right ahead and stop telling me about how he was going mad with greed at the sight of me looking so beautiful.

I think that’s about when I broke.

I....dammit, this is _hard_. I...I _want_ him, I do! But after...I just don't _know_ anymore and I _hate_ not knowing. I'm the smartest person on the planet and I've never been more confused in my life. I don't mesh well with confused! I don't _know_ what I want anymore.

I told him as much and said I was sorry that he had to deal with me not knowing, too, but I broke off and told him to never mind, ‘cause I’m sure I wasn’t being very coherent.

Chase asked me to keep talking, though; said what I thought was important to him. He wanted to know what he could do to…fix us. He wanted to know what he had to do to earn my trust again.

I wish _I_ knew that, honestly.

That’s when it hit me that we’d never actually… _talked_ about what’d happened. Were we really that stupid? _Both_ of us? That instead of trying to talk rationally about this whole thing, we went through…all that we have, first?

Chase said that it was either stupidity or arrogance. Or both.

He said he’d never imagined I’d be bothered by something he considers a birthright, and he mentioned that throughout history, taking…well, what amounts to sluts on the side was common. Everybody in power did it, especially lords like Chase. It’s only lately, in the last hundred years, that people have started frowning on that kind of thing.

But that's the time period I was born and raised in.

I _thought_ I was okay with Chase having...people on the side or whatever, I really did. The idea of it was unpleasant, but I could handle it. Then, I saw the actual _act_ , and…

And I realized that I'm not. I'm a product of my time and whether I want it or not, there's some...really _deeply_ ingrained part of me that completely balks at the idea of Chase being with somebody else _and_ me.

Chase promised monogamy.

When I said that, Chase looked me in the eye and swore to me that if having me and only me meant…well, _having_ me, then, he’d do it.

But…I don’t know if that’s enough, anymore.

It should be. I can’t very well ask _more_ of him. But, he _hurt_ me. I loved him…I _trusted_ him, and…and then he slept with…

That really cut me to the core.

If I’d been with somebody else and they did that, I doubt it would’ve hurt nearly as much, but I _wasn’t_ with somebody else.

It was _Chase_ and he means…meant…means…? Well, _everything,_ anyway.

Chase asked if it’d help to know that Rai meant nothing to him. He told me that he was challenged; that Pedrosa was mocking him, teasing him about being owned by me; on my leash like a dog.

He met Pedrosa’s challenge and used him for sex and nothing else, trying to hurt _him._ Not me; he wouldn’t want to hurt me.

I was…relieved to hear that. I was so ready to just accept that and never think about it again. To just go on thinking it was Pedrosa’s fault that it happened and that it meant nothing.

 _Too_ ready, actually.

I didn’t let myself. There was still that niggling question in the back of my mind that had me frustrated and angry and sick all at once just to think about the answer to it.

I told Chase how upsetting it was for me to have a need to know something and an inability to ask about it ‘cause he would just tell me what I wanted to hear.

He said he’d _always_ tell me what I wanted to hear, and if I wanted to hear the truth, he’d tell me.

So, I asked how long. How long things had been going on with Rai. If it had been months, a month, weeks…even if it had only been a few days, I don’t know that I’d have been able to handle it.

But it was once. One, isolated incident that has not been repeated, nor _will_ it be (for obvious reasons).

When he told me that, I…

God, it was just such a relief. A knot in my stomach that I hadn’t even known was there just disappeared and I was so… _relieved._

I _had_ been the only one sharing a bed with Chase. For that long stretch of time, it was _just me._

Hearing that took so much weight off my shoulders, I could’ve cried right there at the table. I’d needed to hear that.

That was when Chase invited me up to the observation deck. I went with him and when we got there, it was just us, looking out over the city from 520 feet up.

He snapped his fingers and music started playing. He wanted me to dance with him, again.

I hardly hesitated to agree.

I remember freezing when he first pulled me close, with his mouth right by my ear. His hand came up to the collar of my shirt and nudged it aside so he could touch my necklace.

He said I never had to answer the question he was about to ask me, just that he wanted me to think about it.

Chase told me to ask myself what it means that he’s Chase Young and that I have him terrified that he’s going to lose me.

And then, we danced.

I still don’t think I’ve fully grasped the answer to Chase’s question. I know it makes me feel…privileged and special and even a little scared, but…. Hm.

We kissed tonight. After our dance and when we got back home.

I’m in my room, now, alone. I’m really wishing I wasn’t, and I continue to be reminded of the convenient fact that Chase’s room is just across the hall.

But no. If I go to his room, now, we might…

I’m not ready for that, yet. There’s too much for me to think about, too many feelings I have to sort out…. I’m…I’m too confused. I’m going to sleep in my own bed, tonight.

I’m leaving the necklace on.


	337. 12/20/09

**12/20/09-**

Today was…nice.

I went to breakfast this morning, feeling…well, better than I have in weeks.

Chase and I…had a normal morning. Like we used to have all the time.

I actually cooked some of the breakfast instead of just letting Chase’s minions do it, Chase and I made friendly conversation…

Hell, I even made a joke.

I was reading a newspaper, sharing some of the articles with Chase, and then I got to one that made me stop reading to try and comprehend the stupidity of it.

What happened was, there was this guy who died back in June. Nothing particularly special about that…

Except that his phone company refused to cancel his service and deactivate his account. They claimed that the death certificate isn’t enough: his dead relatives need his PIN to access and therefore cancel the account. The company is still, as of now, billing him for services.

After I read all this to Chase and while he was boggling at the incredible Stupid, I then started thinking out loud about what kind of situation the phone company might be imagining in choosing not to cancel the account.

“Hey, honey how's it going?"

"Bill? OMG, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"

"I am!"

"What? Then, how...?"

"Zombie apocalypse is starting and I figured I'd call to give you a heads up. Good thing my cell phone service wasn't canceled, huh?"

"......................"

"I'll be by later to chew on your brains a little bit, sweetie. See ya' soon!”

By this point Chase was laughing his ass off and I joined him moments later. I realized I hadn’t heard Chase laugh…or laughed _myself_ in…awhile. It felt good. I missed it.

I…like this. I hope things can stay this way…for a little while, at least.


	338. 12/21/09

**12/21/09-**

Of course things couldn’t stay good. Of _course_ they couldn’t. Of _course_ this had to happen, just when we…when I…

 _FUCK._

Chase and I had a fight, today.

I was…down in the lab, just…working, I guess. Chase came to see me and snuck up from behind, wrapping his arms around me just like he used to do all the time. He was nuzzling me like he used to, too.

I missed it. I missed him. I missed his touches. I let him do it.

It went a little further and he started kissing and biting there a little, too. In retrospect, _that’s_ where I should’ve pulled away. It would’ve been…better to say no sooner. But I didn’t, and I let him keep at it.

That was a mistake.

It was a mistake because I _did_ stop him when he put his hands on my hips and started trying to kiss me like he wanted to have sex.

I backed off. I said I wasn’t ready yet, which was true. I’m still confused. I still don’t really know what I feel right now, and I get the feeling sex would’ve only made me feel worse.

And that was when Chase called me a cocktease.

He was angry. He said that on our date, I’d been open and willing to communicate. Yesterday, I was laughing and talking with him, and just now, I’d let him touch me like a lover would. He demanded to know how this counted as, ‘not ready.’

I got angry, too. I _wasn’t_ ready! I was _confused!_ If I’d let him fuck me, I’d be even _more_ confused and who knows how that would affect me however much longer down the line when… Well, I don’t know, but I didn’t want to fuck him if there was a chance I wouldn’t even _mean_ it!

He accused me of never meaning it, of trying to hurt him. He said nothing he could do would ever be good enough for me and I’d try to hurt him, which made _me_ the bad guy because _he’d_ never _tried_ to hurt me with sex.

I wasn’t trying to hurt him. I _can’t_ hurt him, not on purpose! Every time I _have_ hurt him, I’ve been wracked with stupid fucking _guilt,_ so no, I wouldn’t have been trying to hurt him! _He_ hurt _me,_ and he wasn’t making it easier on me trying to…to come to terms with that and forgive him what with him trying to get me to fuck him.

He said it wasn’t about the fucking. He said he wanted his lover back.

I…

I shouldn’t have said what I did, then.

I accused him of meaning ‘fuck-buddy’ instead of lover; of only wanting me back for sex.

And then, he…

Chase…

He told me he loved me.

Chase told me he _is_ capable of love, and that every time he’s ever loved, he’s lost them and it hurt. And now, he’d lost someone he loved so much, he’d been trying to make him immortal, too.

That spell…it was for me, after all.

 _Was,_ because Chase…

He congratulated me on throwing him away and said he’d never bother me again.

I can’t remember the next hour or so, but I do remember finally being able to stop crying and catch my breath. I was…in the same place in my lab, just on the floor. I think I collapsed, but I…I can’t remember. I don’t…

I made it back to my room at some point. I cried some more there, too.

I just…

All this time, I thought… I didn’t know… I didn’t _know._

After so long, I finally find out that he feels that way, and I…he…

Goddammit…

I think I know the answer to Chase’s question, now, but that doesn’t mean much since he told me what it was.

That he’s Chase Young and he was terrified of losing me…

It meant that he loved me.

Fuck…I’m crying _again._


	339. 12/22/09

**12/22/09-**

I haven’t left my room all day. I haven’t eaten very much, either; just a handful of chips I found stashed in my closet, but I haven’t been very hungry, so…

I had him. I had him the way I’ve always wanted to, and I…

I feel sick. My head hurts. My chest is killing me. I need to go lay down for awhile.


	340. 12/23/09

**12/23/09-**

Still haven’t eaten much. Physically, I’m starving, but as for the rest of it…I don’t really feel like eating right now.

I don’t really feel like moving, either. Everything hurts and moving makes it worse.

I’m surprised Chase’s cats haven’t come to kick me out, yet. Should’ve happened days ago, after what I…

I didn’t want to throw him away. I didn’t mean to. Does he…does he even realize how much I love him? How much I’ve _always_ loved him, even when I was trying to pretend I didn’t?

I feel like he reached into my chest and ripped out my heart.

But…

I’ll bet he wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t made him feel like I did the same to him.

Fuck. I don’t…I don’t want this. I don’t want to have to feel like…to have to live like I’m…

Headache’s back. I think I’m on the path to an ulcer, too, but mostly, I just feel like throwing up.

…I’m still wearing his necklace. I forgot I even had it on. It never even crossed my mind to take it off, though…

I won’t. If Chase is…is really done with me…then, I’ll give it back to him. Until that moment, it’s mine. I won’t take it off for the world.

It’s his: I want to keep it as long as I can.


	341. 12/24/09

**12/24/09-**

I had another fight today, though this one was with Dashi.

He showed up and told me I had to figure out whether I wanted Chase or not and if I don’t, to get out of the palace.

I told _him_ to shut up and leave me alone.

He got in my face; said no, he _wouldn’t_ shut up and leave me alone. I’d hurt his brother and if he weren’t a ghost, he’d kick my ass. He said he knew Chase was evil, a monster, a murderer (I found out Chase was the one who actually killed Dashi in the first place), but he loved him anyway, ‘cause Chase was still his little brother.

I was given the choice of going back to him or going away and if I didn’t pick, I’d have to answer to Big Brother.

I…snapped, a little.

I screamed at him to fuck off; that I knew all that already and that he should just butt out before I found a priest to do an exorcism on him to stop him from meddling.

I’m not really sure _what_ happened, at that point. He started to argue with me, and then he just…stopped and freaked out about something before leaving.

I don’t know or care what’s up with him. I’ve got Chase on the brain.

I want him back. I want him to take me back. I want _him._

And, I guess if he still hasn’t had me kicked out, by now…he still wants me.

It’s Christmas Eve. We haven’t exactly made plans, but…maybe tonight, we can both get the present we want.

I’m going to see him.


	342. Oh, what NOW?

**12/25/09-  
**


	343. 12/26/09

**12/26/09-**

I’m…exhausted.

Last night…no, wait, _two_ nights ago; time is blurring together for me a little, I went to Chase’s bedroom. Of course, I hadn’t prepared anything to say or even thought about what I’d do if he kicked me out, but I went anyways.

I wanted to fix things. I was sick of being…alone. I wanted to have Chase again.

It was a very unfortunate surprise to find that Chase wasn’t there.

This wouldn’t have been a big deal, of course, if the entire bedroom hadn’t been ransacked and Diol weren’t lying broken and bleeding on the floor.

I…can’t even put into words how scared I was at that one moment. My only _real_ thought was that Chase was in trouble, _serious_ trouble. It _had_ to be serious if Diol was that badly injured, ‘cause Diol is Chase’s favorite and he’d _never_ let him get so hurt if he could help it.

Which meant he _couldn’t_ help it.

I was on the verge of panicking when I couldn’t even contact Dashi for help, but I managed to keep it together. I was the only one left capable of doing something, and if I panicked, I’d have been useless, too.

So, I ran down to the lab and rounded up some gear: my matter-shifter (to protect myself), the Tech GTC (to get wherever I needed to go), what amounts to a laser cutting device (in case I needed to cut through something), and my trusty laser pistol (so I could effectively hurt anybody I needed to hurt).

Thankfully, I was also clear-headed enough to send up my Medbot for Diol, because he’s made a full recovery by now thanks to on-the-spot treatment and a good dosage of Heal-Me Juice afterwards.

I searched the palace first. I had to be sure Chase wasn’t somewhere nearby fighting off an enemy before I left his home essentially unprotected.

I did that first, but none of the other warriors had any idea where Chase was.

Again, close to panicking, but I kept it together and went to figure out where he was for certain.

I used the Eye-Spy Orb to hone in on his location, and I…

Oh, god, if I had any doubts that I was still madly in love with Chase, those would’ve been dispelled in a second when I saw him bound to a wall with chains and wards in an underwater cave.

He couldn’t move. He couldn’t fight back. He couldn’t even use his elements.

He was helpless, and I almost threw up on the spot.

And then, Wuya walked into the picture.

She slapped him, taunted him, called him pathetic… She demanded to know how she’d caught him so easily.

I watched Chase sneer at her and tell her she got lucky.

The bitch begged to differ and surmised that it was because he was weak: he’d let himself _love_ and the…well, she referred to me as a ‘boy-whore,’ and said I didn’t love him back.

I think I realize now how much it hurt Chase to be accused of an inability to love, ‘cause when she said that and he _flinched_ instead of denying it…

Ouch.

But then, I guess in a way, he did deny it, because he hocked a loogie right in her face. _That_ made me smile: his aim’s impeccable and he got her right between the eyes.

I frowned immediately afterwards when Wuya retaliated by punching him in the dick. Looking back, I think that was the moment I decided I was going to hurt her severely.

Anyways…she went cartoon-supervillain on Chase and began explaining her entire plan. She talked about how she was going to use him for sex and then, when she was sick of that, she would use the Sun Chi Lantern on him and steal his power.

She said, and I quote, “I will be fully restored and _no one_ will stop me.”

I figured that was my cue.

I was…furious enough that I’d hit that zen-like state of calm where you’re still just as pissed off, but your mind is completely clear and lets you think about the horrible things you’re about to do to somebody.

I opened a portal straight to the underground cave, right behind Wuya. I had my laser pistol drawn in a split second and shot her in the chest when she turned around to look at me.

“No one will stop me”? Somebody miscalculated on that one, huh?

Chase was…surprised to see me.

I started cutting away the chains and wards with my laser-cutter and I…

I gave in.

I admitted that Wuya’d been wrong; what she said, it wasn’t true. That’s why… _this_ has been so hard for me. Because he could treat me like dirt and cut me deeper than any physical weapon ever could, and I would still…I would still love him just as much as I always have.

He questioned my choice of the word ‘would’ instead of ‘do.’

Would, do, will…it doesn’t matter what word I pick, I never stopped, anyway.

He called me ‘xin ài.’ He called me his ‘beloved.’

And then, I very nearly paid for my mistake of being so focused on getting Chase free that I failed to notice I hadn’t shot Wuya through the heart.

She was still alive and tried to kill me.

Thankfully, Chase intercepted her and they fought. I stayed out of it: I knew better than to throw myself into the fray like that, especially with Wuya as…desperate as she was.

The fight was…intense, in a word. Both of them were so furious and I could see bloodlust in both of their eyes…

For awhile there, I almost wasn’t sure who would win.

Of course, the winner was obvious when Chase managed to rip her head off of her shoulders.

Her ghost showed up a couple seconds later, and then, so did Dashi, who dragged her away somewhere.

I wasn’t paying attention to them, my focus was on Chase. I ran to him the second Wuya was dead and just _clung._ He cuddled me and kissed me, and goddammit, have I missed that, so I nuzzled him and kissed him back like I’d die if I didn’t.

We were on the edge of getting intimate when Dashi showed up again to be Professor Exposition.

He explained that he’d disappeared because Wuya’d left an exorcism spell for him to stumble into and he couldn’t get back until Wuya was dead. He was then irritated and asked Chase to stop trying to give me a blowjob while he was talking to us.

I pointed out that there wouldn’t be a problem if he’d just stop talking to us.

Anyways, he bitched at us for awhile, and we told him to get on with it, and he said to expect a visit from Bean ‘cause he’d been using Wuya as a cumdumpster and would probably be pissed that she’s dead.

Um, _gag._ XP

I’d say by then it was…late afternoon yesterday and Dashi said he’d give us a day to ‘reacquaint ourselves.’

I said to make that a _few_ days, and Chase said to make it a week ‘cause we had a lot of lost time to make up for.

I love him. <3

We came back to the palace and I helped him to my bed (his bedroom was ruined and he was limping a little after Wuya’d stabbed him in the leg)…

And then, we fu… No. No, we didn’t fuck.

We made love.

It was…amazing. Never mind the fact that I haven’t had actual sex since the end of October, it was better than anything we did together _before_ then.

I’m willing to bet it was because everything was…out in the open, now. I love him. He said he loves me. It was…special.

I don’t think I’ll ever want sex from another person, not after what we…what we shared.

It was late night by the time we finished with each other. I wanted to keep going and he wanted to keep going, but we were both exhausted: neither of us had gotten any sleep, I’d worried myself sick trying to find him, he’d used his strength for that fight with Wuya, and then we’d both had sex for _hours…_

I couldn’t even get it up, at that point.

So, we slept for awhile. I think it was the best I’d slept in weeks. Things are…

They’re okay, now. Chase and I… _we’re_ okay, now. I like that. I missed it.

Chase is still asleep, but I figured that if I didn’t write this down, now, I might not have a chance to for awhile.

God, he’s gorgeous when he sleeps. I want him. Not…sexually; not just yet, anyway.

Snuggling, though…that sounds like a plan.


	344. 12/27/09

**12/27/09-**

Sex. Sex, sex, sex, and lots more sex.

There’s definitely been a backlog and it’s all getting handled today.

There was a noteworthy moment today, though, sometime during one of the badly-needed rest-periods that we’ve taken.

Chase told me he loved me and begged me to never leave him.

I won’t. I _can’t!_ I _tried_ to do that and our borderline-numb genitals are a clear mark of how well that worked out.

Then, he formally asked me to be immortal with him. I agreed, of course, although I may have slipped and revealed that I’d known about the spell/hoped it was for me even before our argument when he brought it up.

Whoops. ^^;

Either way, it doesn’t much matter. Chase and I are…happy, again. We’re gonna be immortal, together.

I get to share eternity with him. <3

…Take _that,_ Pedrosa, you dead, fucking slut!  >=D ****

**12/27/09 (UPDATED)-**

I brought up Pedrosa with Chase. I wanted to know if Chase had ever had thoughts of making _him_ immortal, too.

The response I received…well, I kind of want it documented forever, so:

Chase: Never. Gods, no. I hadn't even considered making _you_ immortal until I realized the fundamental truth of our situation, and that truth is that I fell in love with you. I have never loved anyone as I do you and I never will again. Of all the people I've known, Jack, you are the _only_ one who has ever been worth all of this.

Me: If you had to choose between us, though?

Chase: There never would have _been_ a choice. Pedrosa was cheap, crass, and useful only for one thing. You are graceful, beautiful, expensive and extravagant, and rightly so. You're useful in so many ways as to boggle the mind. You _win_ , no matter what. Besides, I _have_ chosen. I've chosen to make _you_ immortal, and I tortured and killed him at your command. Doesn't that speak well enough of my choice?

Me: <3!

I win. I won. I won _Chase._

I might very well be the luckiest bastard on the planet.


	345. 12/28/09

**12/28/09-**

I woke up feeling awesome this morning.

It was also early, and Chase was still conked out from what was essentially a constant stream of sex, yesterday (and holy _hell,_ am I sore, but I don’t even care), so…

I decided a surprise was in order. >=3

Awhile back, I stumbled upon this recipe for an Italian apple pie, loaded with butter, sugar, fruit, and cream cheese. I remember thinking that it was _perfect,_ and all I needed was a suitable occasion to make it. Then, our…fight…happened, and I didn’t _want_ to make it.

This morning, however, Chase came to the table straight out of bed, only to find it completely empty of food.

Chase: …where’s breakfast?

Me: *kiss* Fuck breakfast, you don’t need breakfast!

Chase: I don’t?

Me: No. What _you_ need… *quick nuzzle before fetching my gift* …is pie.

I presented the pie to my overlord, he took a bite, declared me the god of his world, and pounced me to the floor for some sixty-nine. XD

Have I mentioned how much I love that things are back to normal? ‘cause I do.

Some time after that, we’ve spent the day in equal parts holed up in the bedroom having sex when we’re physically able to, just touching each other when we’re not, and talking about…well, eternity.

Specifically, we talked about the chosen method of making me immortal and how the spell would work and all that kind of stuff.

…Y’know, it’s weird. This is like a dream come true for me, and yet…

And yet, I don’t know if I really…believe it.

Chase says he loves me, yeah, but…jeez, that’s almost like me saying I’m _straight._ What are the odds that he really…really, truly…

Hm…

I…have to think about this…


	346. 12/29/09

**12/29/09-**

I decided to talk to Chase about the…doubts I’ve been having. If we’re really gonna be together… _forever…_ keeping secrets like that isn’t exactly gonna help us.

It turns out I’m not the only one feeling like this is a little…surreal.

I told Chase the thoughts I’ve started having about him maybe not _really_ loving me. He was upset about it at first until I explained that it was just that it seemed…too good to be true.

I’ve wanted Chase to love me back for who knows _how_ long, and then, that last fight at the end, there…

I don’t know. It didn’t seem real.

And that’s when Chase admitted that things felt too good to be true to him, too, just in a different way. I’d…thrown him away. He’d been trying so hard to get me back, but I refused him, and yet, we were together now, just like that.

He said he was scared it was all just a dream; that Wuya was still holding him captive somewhere.

He also let me know that if it _was_ a dream, he’s not certain he could take that loss, again. That he would…

That he would kill himself.

Naturally, I begged him not to do something like that, even if all this _is_ a dream. I wouldn’t want him to die. Even if there exists a universe in which I actually don’t want him, I can’t imagine one exists where I would want him dead. Not dead; no, never dead…

Anyways. We talked about it. We agreed that this all feels surreal. We agreed that we wanted it to feel just plain _real._

I remember making the comment that I wish there was some way to prove that it…that _we_ were real. That was when Chase got up and left the room without a word.

Of course, I’m not feeling so great, right now. That headache, that feeling-like-I’m-going-to-throw-up…they’re starting to come back.

If I’ve really managed to screw things up with Chase again…

Maybe _I’ll_ kill myself. ****

**12/29/09 (UPDATED)-**

 ****Scratch all that. Things with Chase…they couldn’t be better. <3

Apparently, what I’d said reminded Chase of something; a way to prove that what we had right now was real. He’d gone off to go get it and he came back maybe an hour later with the Heart of Jong.

Naturally, I was confused. There weren’t any inanimate objects around that we might want to bring to life and we weren’t trying to summon Mala Mala Jong…

But no, apparently, the Heart of Jong has more than one use. As I found out from Chase, it also has the ability to…allow people to exchange hearts.

Exchange hearts in that it can be used by one person to learn another's innermost feelings or…

Or by _two_ people who open their hearts to the other and share what they feel.

It was a big deal that Chase was doing this with me; for me. Obviously, he’s never really opened himself to another person in that way before, but he said…

He wanted me not to have any fear or doubt about us and if that meant showing me everything, then, he would do it. He also said that it would alleviate his own fears and doubts about us if I shared, too, but I didn’t have to if I didn’t feel comfortable.

I chose to share, of course. It wouldn’t be fair to Chase not to after what he was doing to share with me.

We put our hands on the Heart of Jong, activated it, and…

My doubts are gone. He loves me. He loves me for real. I’m sure of it, because I _felt_ it.

It’s not…quite…the same kind of love I have for him. I’m Heylin, now, but he’s been Heylin for a lot longer: he’s more evil than me and the way he loves reflects that.

What he feels for me is darker that what I feel for him. It’s more possessive, and there’s…a distinct need to own me in all ways possible. He wants to dominate my thoughts and my body: he doesn’t want _anyone_ to take his place, _ever,_ and if he can’t have that…

I was surprised that there could _be_ so much hate and pain in a person. If he were to lose me; if he couldn’t be the only man I ever touched, thought about, loved…

I could feel for sure that he’d burn the entire world to a cinder out of grief and hatred alone.

 _That_ was flattering, but he has nothing to worry about. Knowing that he feels that for me…feels so _deeply_ for me… I can’t imagine I’ll ever touch/think about/love any other man.

Only Chase. <3

I’m not sure what Chase felt from me. I don’t know how what I feel for him could be interpreted by someone who isn’t me and I wouldn’t know how to describe it because of how…natural a feeling it is for me. If it were new, something that started recently, maybe I could attempt it, but as it is…jeez, this is corny.

Loving Chase is second nature. I wouldn’t know how to break it down for somebody else _without_ showing them like I showed Chase.

So, no, I don’t know what Chase felt from me when we did it, but I know I was totally honest. I kept myself completely open to him. I know I hid nothing, even though a part of me was screaming in horror that I was letting myself be vulnerable again after all I’d just gone through. I don’t know what he felt, but I know it was an honest look at me; at what I feel.

I guess he must’ve been able to feel how he’d hurt me, though, because he swore to me that he’d never hurt me like that again.

Feeling things from his perspective, I realized _I’d_ hurt _him_ quite a bit, too, just by making him face the possibility of losing me, so I promised the same thing.

I think I made the first move after that, but I’m not really sure. All I know is that we were making love again and _that_ time, it wasn’t surreal at all.

It was just _real._

The Heart of Jong is…somewhere on the bed. I guess it doesn’t really matter and _won’t_ really matter until Chase throws me down on the bed in a fit of passion and _OW,_ Heart of Jong! Or until one of us touches it with a toe in the middle of the night and freaks out ‘cause _COLD_ Wu!

My face hurts. I’ve only just realized it’s because I’m smiling so damn much.

With Chase here with me…and _with_ me, too…I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop.


	347. 12/30/09

**12/30/09-**

It’s…done.

I’m immortal.

This morning, Chase told me that he would rather I not be mortal by the time 2010 rolls around and the sooner we could do this thing, the better. I came back with a, “How ‘bout now?” which was met with a, “Sounds good,” and we got started.

The way Chase had figured out how to make this work was a combination of several different spells he’d found and compiled into one viable one.

It works through a system of sharing. Chase already _had_ immortal life, while I was just plain mortal. With this thing, I get to share in that immortality, but it’s not free of charge.

As with everything, it’s a principle of exchange: if I get to share the immortality, I have to share something of mine with Chase, something of equal importance.

As of now, nobody can ever call Chase ‘soulless’ again because he’s sharing mine with me.

If anything ever goes wrong…if Chase ever dies, I’m mortal again, but there’s a bright side. If Chase dies now, it’ll be with a soul: he won’t just disappear from all planes of existence like he never was.There’ll be time for Dashi, who’s managed to procure Chase’s actual soul, to return it to him and he’ll continue to live.

Granted, it would be as a mortal man, but considering _I’d_ be mortal again, too, we could still be with each other: the only difference would be that we’d get old and die eventually.

That’s the worst case scenario, of course. Neither Chase nor I have any intention of letting him die anytime soon. I think I speak for both of us in saying that we _want_ forever with each other, not just one lifespan.

But anyway, we went through with the thing. It was a combo potion/spell and it appeared to work just fine; although, I do wish it could’ve worked without me fainting.

I guess it doesn’t _really_ matter, but it’s always a little bit disconcerting to wake up somewhere and know you didn’t fall asleep there and what the hell is going on?

As for me, I woke up in Chase’s…in _our_ bedroom. It’d been repaired from when Wuya attacked. It looked a little…different to me, though. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it was like most of it was right, but there were…bits and pieces and places where it didn’t completely look like Chase’s room.

This was because it wasn’t just his room, anymore. He informed me that he’d used a spell to join what was my room with his, making it a blend of both. I no longer have a room across the hall: _this_ is my room; _our_ room.

It’s weird. I thought immortality would feel…I don’t know, powerful or freeing or something else like that. Really, I just feel the same. I guess maybe it’s because I don’t have any supernatural powers other than being able to live forever and not get old/die, like Chase got out of his deal.

I don’t really care. The living-forever-and-not-dying part is the most important thing.

Chase and I snuggled for a little while after I came to. It was a perfectly peaceful moment: just me and Chase, enjoying the fact that we were together.

And then…

Oh, man, I don’t even know how to…

Chase sat up and looked at me, and he said that he wanted to share something with me. I asked what, but he wouldn’t say. He just talked for awhile, about how much he’d come to love me and how he knew I felt the same and now that I was going to share his life with him, I might as well have everything.

He took his dragon form and told me that if I _really_ wanted him that way, I could have him.

As if I’d have hesitated.

I was practically giddy that Chase was letting me do it with him like that. The way he always balked about it, I can’t imagine he’d ever let anybody else try it.

So, in at least one way, I’m his first.

Even so, I was aware that it could be dangerous if not handled properly. Chase is a monster, whether or not I regard that as a bad thing, and in that body, he’s both very capable of hurting me and very liable to lose himself to his primal instincts.

We took it slow. I stretched and lubed myself up, ‘cause it would’ve been difficult for him to do it with his claws, and then, after he asked me for probably the hundredth time if I was _sure_ I was okay with it, we…got started.

It was good. _Really_ good.

He’s so powerful in that body, but he was gentle with me. He didn’t hurt me, not once. He had his claws on the headboard so he wouldn’t accidently cut my hips, and he kept his snout clamped shut so he wouldn’t be tempted to bite me in a show of dominance. Nothing bad happened.

It felt amazing to finally have sex with him like that; to finally have _all_ of him. I keep smiling every time I think of the way he fucked me, slow and gentle with his scales rubbing up against my skin and his tail curled around my thigh…

God, he’s beautiful.

I think that finally drove it home for him that I _don’t_ find his dragon-form ugly. Maybe some people do, but for me, it’s just as beautiful as the rest of him.

I kept my neck bared for him the whole time so the bestial part of his brain could acknowledge that I’d completely yielded to him and wasn’t a threat. I enjoyed the sex because I’d wanted to have it; legitimately _wanted_ to share a bed with him even though he was a monster. I reacted to him the same way I always reacted to him despite the fact that he wasn’t ‘pretty’ at the time and I even made a point of kissing him on the snout, after.

I’m…more than thankful that Chase decided he was comfortable enough to share that with me.

I have a good feeling about our eternity.


	348. 12/31/09

**12/31/09-**

Tonight, Chase has consented to open his home to outsiders for a New Year’s celebration.

Well, not so much a celebration. More of a small get-together to usher in 2010, really.

As it is, I’m surrounded by the small group of loved ones I have.

Frankie’s sitting on the couch in front of the television, to my left.

Much happy reunion-ness has gone on between us, as it seems he’d been trying to get in contact with me around Christmas wanting to know if I’d like to celebrate it with him and exchange gifts or something in the hopes that it would distract me from what was going on with Chase. He hadn’t been able to get in contact with me because of Wuya and he was scared something had happened to me and…well, by the time he came by, Chase and I had made up and were continuing to make up _vigorously._ Dashi shooed him away.

Richie is currently perched on the edge of the couch by Frankie. As it turned out, he _didn’t_ know that I was actually alive after the whole death-faking thing. My brother hadn’t wanted to tell him because he’s the white sheep of our evil little family and he’d go around crying foul and trying to save me, which of course, would’ve gotten him killed and then Frankie would’ve _had_ to commit suicide by dragonlord.

By now, I think Foley’s mostly overcome his freaking out over my not-deadness (at least he’s not screaming, pointing, and accusing me of being a zombie, anymore), and he looks like he’s having a good enough time.

Finnian, my beloved rat, has resumed his place in my hair and for once, Negriss is not being annoying or troublesome in the least and so has been allowed the privilege to lurk about the room wherever he pleases so long as he continues to not cause trouble.

Both of them are watching over their offspring, which are currently situated in front of the television. Everybody was sufficiently weirded out at the sight of them, but after Negriss’s death threats to anyone who had the nerve to criticize his younglings, they’re all handling ‘em with decorum.

Dashi’s floating off the right side of the couch. According to him, he’s decided to stick around for awhile because after “saving our love life,” he’s realized how much fun both Chase and I are to piss off. Whoopee for that, but then, I guess he probably has some interesting dirt on Chase as a kid…

Speaking of Chase, he’s sitting next to me on the right, writing in his own journal. He’s still got an arm around me, though, and I’m snuggled up to him as close as I can get.

I think we’re officially out of our ‘honeymoon’ period being that neither of us are trying to drag the other to the bedroom like we’ll die if we don’t, and that means things are back to normal. I’m happy.

I’ve also gotten a compliment or two on what is essentially my wedding ring: the necklace Chase gave me. No, I still haven’t taken it off, and at this rate, I don’t think I’m going to for anything but maybe having to do basic jewelry maintenance on it.

Right now, all of us are watching one of those lame countdown specials. Nothing really interesting is happening yet, but in half an hour, there’ll be fireworks and a drastic drop in Earth’s population.

That’s right, my plan worked. There’s a lot of women all over the world with a bun in the oven right now and a _huge_ population boom large enough to overshoot Earth’s carrying capacity has been predicted. Even though I never got around to incorporating 'natural' disasters as further incentive, the public has decided to use ‘my last gift to them’ anyway and are taking things into space to search for habitable planets. _Millions_ of people are going on these interstellar expeditions to colonize other planets.

With so many people gone, I can start working (behind the scenes, of course; I’m still ‘dead’) on eliminating the huge pollution problem that people have left me with. The planet can be clean again and start to replenish its own resources faster than humans can use them up…

Hell, according to Chase, there might even be a resurgence in the dragon population!

I’m excited. I think this is going to be a good year for me. No…for _us._


	349. 1/1/10

**1/1/10-**

It’s after midnight. Happy fucking New Year!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations, everyone, you just read what was essentially a whole year of Chack! =)
> 
> This project was a rough one, but it was also fun as hell to write, so I can only hope you guys enjoyed yourselves reading. Silvarbelle and I (myself as Jack and Silv as Chase) actually started this project at the very beginning of 2009, roughly in January or February, and we've only just finished it this past June of 2010.
> 
> Thank god it was enjoyable, or we'd have dropped it just for how long it was taking! XD
> 
> Hopefully, the effort was worth it and the overall story came out as good as we thought it did, but we'd love to hear from you, too. If you liked it or had anything you wanted to comment on, feel free!
> 
> We look forward to your comments, criticism, etc., and we hope you got a kick out of the Diary project! =D


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